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Parenting: Lessons Learned?

The Steve Noble Show / Steve Noble
The Truth Network Radio
January 24, 2023 5:27 pm

Parenting: Lessons Learned?

The Steve Noble Show / Steve Noble

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January 24, 2023 5:27 pm

Parenting: Lessons Learned?

Steve takes callers and asks them, “What things have you learned being a parent?” The good and the bad things.

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The Steve Noble Show
Steve Noble
The Steve Noble Show
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The Steve Noble Show
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And now, here's your host, Steve Noble. Okay, we're going to push away from the news of the day and breaking news and all that other stuff. And maybe I'm the... Am I the only person now that doesn't have any classified documents at my house? All that mess is going on.

There's a lot out there obviously. That will be there when we come back to it. So today, I wanted to...

I haven't done this before on the show. I've never really opened up the phones in terms of parenting. So parenting lessons learned, question mark. And what have you learned? And now, if you're young and you have little kids, five, six, seven, eight, I'm like, you should listen.

Right? With a show like today, hopefully, we'll have plenty of people that will call in and share. If you have little kids, you should listen.

If you have older kids, teenagers in their 20s, young adults, older adult children, then you should share. This is not a topic where I feel particularly invigorated to pontificate and share down with you all the lessons I've learned. I think I've learned a lot of lessons in parenting. Some I am still working on. I think I've learned a lot of lessons, but I think I learned a lot of them too late.

And so if I could go back and parent our four kids differently than we did, I think in many ways I would. And so that's the challenge, right? Am I the only one that, to quote Bill Clinton, that can feel... I feel your pain.

Am I the only one that's in that boat? So oftentimes, I don't know, you know, you can go online and just do a Google search. What does the Bible have to say about parenting or Christian parenting or whatever? And you'll get deluged. Then you're going to end up with the same basic Bible verses. And they're awesome, right?

They're great. But God's word is true. It never comes back void. And so it works every time it's tried. Now, it doesn't always work immediately. We have to be patient and we have to sow seeds and then you have to wait. It's like a farmer.

And so a farmer puts a seed in the ground and does what he can and then he waits. And there's nothing you can do. You can't control the weather.

You can't control what's going to happen. And so you do the best that you can. And as parents, you know, that's what we do.

I think for most of us, you do the best that you can. And then it's the struggle bus, right? And now if you all your kids are walking with the Lord and knocking it out of the park and they have great jobs, they're in ministry and they never strayed and everything's just going according to plan. And you're like, I have this picture up in my studio right now. So if you're on Facebook Live or Rumble, you see this picture on the TV behind me with like the perfect, beautiful family, right? The beautiful mom, the beautiful dad, the two beautiful children. They're coloring. They're all together and everything's hunky dory.

It's all fine. We have a little wooden sign, very small, just goes on a bookcase in our house. It says, as far as anybody knows, we're a nice, normal family. So there's that. But but the thing that I appreciate about a lot of Christian friends that I have and people in Christian ministry, that most of the ones that I know have been pretty honest about their challenges when it comes to the subject of parenting.

And I would say the majority of the Christian parents I know have had significant challenges with their children. And I know it's there's definitely a difference between this generation, 30 and under, and my generation. I'm 56.

I'll be 57 next month. And, you know, the way our parents raised us, which is very pragmatic. Nobody was really talking about anxiety and depression. Nobody was making the claims that young people were snowflakes.

It was it was pretty pragmatic, to say the least. Get over it. Brush the dust off your off your pants and get back to work and quit complaining and suck it up buttercup and get back in there.

No whining. Get back at it. So helicopter parenting, lawnmower parenting didn't really exist when my generation, our generation, most likely when we were young and we didn't have the digital world. And so parenting, I think, is a lot harder today than it was 30 years ago. So I am just asking that if you're a parent and you've been down a lot of roads that you would call in today and just share what you've learned. And maybe like me, a lot of the lessons you've learned, you learned too late and you wish you could go back and do things differently. I mean, what advice would you give to parents raising children in this crazy world that we live in, in this particular generation? What advice would you give them based on what you've learned?

That's that's it. That's what and I and literally most shows I consider and pontificate and share some wisdom and share some things for the whole hour on different topics, whatever. Not on this one. I don't feel particularly powerful or worthy of sharing all kinds of wisdom as a parent. I love our children and our children are doing some amazing things, but I think I've made a lot of mistakes as a Christian father.

And so I think this is just one of those times. Come let us reason one to another and let's share the lessons that we've learned with the hopes that it helps somebody else, helps somebody listening. Maybe a lot of us are a lot of you, maybe your grandmother or grandfather, and maybe that's something you can share delicately, appropriately with your kids as they start to parent or even with grandchildren. Perhaps you can apply some lessons that you've learned.

So I want to open up the phones and spend time listening to other people. Share what lessons have you learned when it comes to parenting? What lessons would you pass on to other young parents raising children in this crazy generation that we're in, the digital world and everything else? What what worked?

What would you have done differently? And that's the deal. That's what that's what I would like. So the phone number is always 866-348-7884 as a service to other believers. And this might be a good show that you share with other believers, other parents, especially if they're younger and their kids are younger as something that they can reach into the wisdom of the older generation, because we don't do this at church. We separate all our Sunday schools. One of my professors, when I got my master's degree, called it age based apartheid. We have all the 20s down here in the 30s in that class, in the 40s in that class. And all the people with the wisdom, the 50s and 60s and 70s are at the other end of the hall. And we don't ever mix them together. So you don't ever have the benefit of their wisdom. Well, let's try to change that today.

866-348-7884. It could be a regret. It could be something that you said, hey, listen, the Lord really blessed this.

And we did this and we did that. Some approach to your children, listening, talking, sharing, scripture, devotionals, whatever. What advice, what wisdom would you share at this point in your life now with other parents?

What lessons have you learned from walking the very difficult, the very emotionally challenging road of parenting? 866-348-7884 is the number 866-348-7884 or 866-34 truth. This is Steve Noble. We'll be right back. Welcome back.

It's Steve Noble, the Steve Noble Show Printing Lessons Learned. Have you learned any? And these can be things that that you saw really worked well or things that you're like, yeah, don't do this. I didn't do this. I should have done that.

I did this too much. Whatever the case may be, you can learn in the negative or learn in the positive. And I think for a lot of people, this is it can be a very challenging, emotional subject.

And I don't mean to open up a wound and throw salt in it. I don't feel awesome about this subject myself, but I think we can come let us reason one to another. Let's share what we have learned and especially let's share this show today and with the hopes that it reaches other people who perhaps have younger kids who can learn from our experiences. We don't often share that. I don't think we do it very much.

And when we do, perhaps we don't do it very well. But would love to hear from you today. 866-348.

Keeps cutting in and out. 866-348-7884 is the number. 866-348-7884 or 866-34-TRUTH. So please give me a call and just share what lessons you would like to share with other people that you've learned by hook or by crook, sometimes in the positive, oftentimes in the negative, which is just the reality of it. Let's jump to, I'm going to jump to Don first calling in from North Carolina. Don, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. Yeah, at first I wanted to thank you for the show. You really helped me out each day by listening to the show. Oh, amen.

Thank you, man. And for me, I wasn't really a strong Christian when I was raised. I'm a grandfather.

But to me, I wish I would have been less trustworthy. The kids seem so nice and they follow all the rules and everything, but too many times I let them have the door shut or do things in the basement and would be apprehensive about walking down. And I think, this is my house. These are my kids. Why am I not going down there and seeing what they're doing?

And even now with my grandkids, I walk up and I look in the room and it's like, what are you watching on the computer? Pay attention. Part of their lives. Don't let the privacy thing get in your way like you're not being cool or something. Right.

Yeah. And that's especially in the digital world, Don. Thank you so much for calling in and thanks for your kind words. I appreciate that. Great wisdom.

And Don, you're right. I mean, that's like, hey, especially teenagers. Hey, I want my privacy. Well, listen, I understand that. And privacy is something as a child and as a teenager, perhaps you have to earn that.

But human depravity, two of my most common words that I use in the classes that I teach, human depravity. Can you ultimately trust anybody? You can't trust anybody in their sin nature any further than you can throw them. And so, yeah, I think back to the digital thing, that's a great lesson for all of us. Be less worried, be less concerned with popularity and more concerned with trying to be account has some accountability with your kids. And don't be so trusting. Trusting can be earned over time.

But man, I mean, it's so bad in terms of what's available and what comes through on phones and such. I think we have to be I don't mean to sound like fearful, but paranoid, I think is OK in this case. I think being a little paranoid about that is OK. Let's go to Paul is calling in from North Carolina. Paul, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. Steve, thanks. Thanks for taking my call. Appreciate what you do. Thank you.

Yeah, I'll be short and sweet. Don't wait till you're old to have kids. Start early.

Have lots of them. And don't be so controlling. We were too controlling and we adopted.

Some kids and we were too controlling and they. They they run. So.

That's literally jump out the window and leave if you do control. But yeah, you've got to have they've got to have some freedom when they reach teenage years. Yeah. Yeah. That's different when they're young. But when they act like when they start reach, reach puberty, especially.

The girls. I need some freedom. Yeah. And that's a delicate balance because I think we're all concerned about what their freedom can lead them into.

But you're right, Paul. I mean, if we are too restrictive, then everything the grass is always greener. Right.

So if you're too restrictive, our sin nature wants to rip in the opposite direction. Yeah. Yeah.

And and phones are evil. Yeah. Aren't they?

They're terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously we can we can baptize it and say there's some good things about phones. And that's true.

But largely, I think they've been much more a force for evil than a force for good. Paul, thanks so much for calling. I appreciate your encouragement. Thanks. Thank you.

You're welcome. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight for any parenting lessons you would like to pass on. Lessons learned the hard way. Things that worked. And you're like, hey, Steve, we did this. It actually worked really well. That's fine. I'm not going to read that as prideful or anything.

If it worked for you, then call in and share that. I think we owe that to one another to pass along what we've learned, even through tears and failure. We're supposed to do this as a community. The Book of Acts. We see that early on.

Acts two. Let's come together. Let's do this together. Let's talk.

Let's not be so prideful and say, well, I don't want to tell anybody about my problems with as a parent. No, we need we need to help one another. OK, that's something we should love. One another's are all of your scripture. We need to care for one another. This is a good way to do it. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four.

What kind of lessons would you like to pass on on parenting? Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four or eight, six, six, thirty four. Truth. Let's go to Stella. Stella, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. How are you doing? Good. Thank you. How are you?

And I was excited to talk about this from here. I'm a single parent to raise two young ladies and they are adults now. But what I want to say is it was a struggle because I had my child at 22, the first one.

So she became very rebellious. But what I found out through faithfulness of praying and speaking God and keeping her in church, I saw a shift in her and a communication is the key. You have to keep the open line of communication and be honest and truthful to them and not try to hide what you used to do back in the day. Right. Because I did some things and I shared with them. So we got to be honest with them. And then one thing, too, you always need to know who your children are hanging out with.

Right. And pray about who they're hanging out with. And secondly, you know, keep them out of their bedroom so much because God spoke to me to tell my friends.

He said that parents think that their children are safe in their bedroom when they are not safe, because that's when the enemy is really using them a lot through social media, through everything. So we just got to make sure we interact with our kids more in the home. Amen. Great wisdom, Stella. God bless you. Thank you so much for calling in and sharing that. You're welcome. You have a gift. You too.

Thanks so much. And that's just priceless right there. Right. And that's what we've got to hear that. And you've got to keep going. And it's not a one stop shop.

It's not like, hey, I'm going to go do this next week and everything will be fine. Oh, no, this is the long game. This is not the short game.

It's not a quick fix game going on here. 866-348-7884 or 866-34 truth. Let's go real quick to Tom.

Tom, you got about a minute. Go ahead. Thanks for calling. All right.

Really appreciate your show. One thing my dad taught me was to go ahead and take a risk. And he would have a door open and a warm meal for me if I failed and that I should count on having struggles. And the people that you count on will discourage you. It's only because they haven't done or lived their dreams. It's so true, isn't it? I mean, that that that happens a lot where people will be kind of a train wrecker because they're not happy with where they're at.

And they're not speaking enough encouragement to other people. Yeah, that's a that's a great thought. I hadn't thought of that one myself. Tom, thanks so much for calling in. I appreciate it. What have you learned? It could be from a positive.

It could be from a negative as a parent. Let's try to pass these on and share them with each other. Maybe it's the challenging season that we're in at the Nobel House in terms of parenting and interacting with your young adults.

Twenty seven, 24, 21 and 18. Boy, that's that's a champ. Welcome back at Steve Noble, the Steve Noble Show. Difficult subject today for a lot of us because I think a lot of us have struggled with feelings of failure when it comes to parenting and things didn't go well. And we had some kids get off the rails or you have a prodigal, whatever the case may be. We've been down those roads ourselves as parents.

And I had a gal on a few years ago. If you want a great book on dealing with a prodigal. Carol Barnier is her name, B-A-R-N-I-E-R, Carol Barnier. I think the name of the book is Reaching Today's Prodigal. Can you look that up for me, Josh, real quick?

Just jump online. Carol Barnier, B-A-R-N-I-E-R. Carol Barnier, B-A-R-N-I-E-R. It's a great book. And she talks about one of the things is good Christian parents who do everything they they can think to do as good Christian parents can have children that make really bad decisions. You know, and you go and, you know, there's it's not like there's a plethora of scripture about parenting, but there's some really powerful ones, obviously. And Proverbs 22 six. Right.

We all know that one. You know, if you live it doing it like the NIV, start children off on the way that they should go. And even when they are old, they will not depart from it. Well, that is a principle. That is not a promise. You have to understand that about Proverbs. Proverbs largely is principles. These are generally true. They're true and they generally work, but not always. That's not a promise. Raise your kids in the church, teach them to teach them the gospel. And when they are old, they're going to be walking lockstep with the Lord.

That that that's not always true. Did you find it? It's a book. It's like reaching today's prodigal.

I'll find it in a minute. But that was great. And then she also talked about and I'm trying to if you struggle with viewing yourself as a decent parent, if you feel like a failure as a parent. So that's one thing that Carol wrote in her book, really good Christian parents that are well-meaning and do what all the things that they basically should do. Can still have children that make really bad decisions. OK. That's not necessarily on you.

OK. These are free agents. They have their own minds. They have their own wills. And they're going to make decisions.

We influence them as we can. But there they go. And then they're going to do what they're going to do. Right. And then she also this is really powerful for me.

Then I keep the phones open. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight for any parenting lessons you would like to learn and bless others with. See yourself as a steward of that and go to second Corinthians Chapter one.

The Lord has ministered to you in your pain and in your loss, and then you turn around and minister to people that have experienced the same thing. You're uniquely qualified and you should share that. Now you're a steward of these lessons. Some are positive.

Things went great. This work that worked. And then you might have lessons that you're a steward of that are all negative. This didn't work. This didn't work. This blew up in my face. We should have done this.

We should have done that. You're a steward of that, that wisdom. And don't hoard that. Don't keep that to yourself. You need to share that because you do not. I'm telling you, I've been at this long enough. You have no idea what the Lord can do with your little gift, with your little seed that you would sow here on the air.

And just share a lesson, a lesson or two, something you learned being a parent. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four is the number. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four or eight, six, six, thirty four. Truth. What's the name of that book? Engaging, engaging today's prodigal.

Carol Barnier, right? B-A-R-N-I-E-R. Incredible book.

Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four or eight, six, six, thirty four. Truth. What lessons would you like to pass along? So so in the scriptures and I'll get back to the phone, obviously Deuteronomy six.

OK, this is a great lifestyle verse parenting wise. Hero Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Now listen, talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Write them on your door frames of your houses and on your gates. Essentially, parent biblically. Have biblical conversations, sprinkle biblical truth, biblical worldview into your conversations about everything. That's what that means, that we're going to kind of approach things biblically.

Talking about what's going on at school, talking about what's going on in relationships, talking about discipline, whatever. Sprinkle it all with biblical truth and worldview. That's what that's talking about.

Being intentional. Start, you know, raise your child in the way they should go when they're old, they will not depart from it. That's a principle, not a promise.

But man, you have to cling on to that. Right. And there's Carol in her book, Engaging Today's Prodigal. Said, you know, if you're going to take credit, quote unquote, credit for all the bad things that have happened in your children's life because you think you're just a horrible parent, if you're going to take credit for all that. Does that mean you're going to take credit for all the things that go well, for all the things that they do well, for all the ways that they do things that might be pleasing to the Lord? Are you taking if you're going to take credit for all the downs, are you taking credit for all the ups?

And if you are, this was really convicting to me when I read this and had her on the show. When you are, when you do. I mean, where's God in any of that? Right. Nowhere. I'm putting all my faith in myself, me and my wife, our ability to do this, our ability to do that, our ability to have effective devotions, whatever.

Handling screen time, handling the iPhone, handling smartphone, handling friends. Well, we blew this and we blew that. We did this. We did that wrong. And look, our kids, our kids are doing awesome. We did such a great job. Pat on the back.

Where's God in any of that? Right. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four is the number.

Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four or eight, six, six, thirty four. Truth. What lessons have you learned as a parent that you should pass along to others? Even if it's like I like, OK, I'm not excited about sharing this, but this is a hard lesson we learned. That's valuable to other people. You have no idea who needs to hear it, who could be listening or watching or will listen to a podcast later. You just don't know.

So be a good steward of what you've learned and share that. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four. Clay, thanks for calling. Go ahead. Hey, brother Steve. God bless you, my friend.

And top of the taming Tuesday afternoon. Maybe I can bring a bit of a different perspective from the opposite side of the field. You know, I commend the parents that I had bringing me up the right way and raising me up. I have not been a parent, but I feel the Lord guided me in church and being in certain aspects of areas that I was able to be around children. And I was encouraging to that situation. I feel that you can encourage a child.

I know several people out there that are in the category that I am, that are single parents that are doing. I want to commend them for doing a bang up job for raising those children up the way they are. I know that I was taught discipline. I was taught what I did wrong.

I was punished. I feel that, you know, being able to be around a child and encouraging that child saying, hey, this is the way, you know, share that you care about them. They love them because it's it says for God. So love the world. Sure. And, you know, I'm just thankful. I'm thankful for you, brother, because you've done a great job. Look where you are in your life today. Having this radio program, have the family, the godly family that you have.

I'm looking at it a different aspect. I feel that we are blessed. Each of us, parent or not, that we have certain things that the Lord has gifted us with. And it's the fruits of our labor that we're able to see that child grow.

Now, honestly, I come from a family that does not most of them that have gone on and much of them did not know the Lord. Yeah. And it's been a big, big wake up sign for me because when I was younger, younger, not a child. But I felt it was all about me. So I learned that it's more about being a follower of Christ and being a child of God. That's how you learn to grow and know inside yourself and you can bring that inside.

Yeah. And I would just add to that. And that's and thanks, as always, Clay, for calling.

It's great to hear from you. And I would just add to that. Never give up praying for your children's salvation. Never do not get a dead man wasn't too far gone for Jesus. Right. He pulls Lazarus out of the grave.

He had to use his name, otherwise everybody else would have popped out, too. So never give up on that. Never think nobody's too far gone. It's not over till it's over. OK, now, obviously, the Lazarus example when Jesus was here. OK, I'm not applying that all over the place, but you know what I mean?

Your son or daughter could be 60 by the time they come to faith. Don't ever give up on that. Let's go to Joe, who's calling in from North Carolina. Joe, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. Yeah. Hey, Steve. How are you doing? Pretty good, Joe. Thanks. How are you? Good. I'm a friend of your friend, Sue Epperson. God bless you. You're patient. I got a comment on the bad parent situation.

Yeah. You know, I was listening to a sermon and all these people were saying how their kids turned out bad. And the pastor said, who do you think Adam's father was? And you know, being that Adam had the perfect father and still you see what happened to him. That's such a powerful reminder, Joe.

You might have heard me say I mentioned that book Engaging Today's Prodigal by Carol Barnier, who was a prodigal herself. And that's one of the things she said, that you have the perfect situation. You're in paradise and God is your father who walks with you in the cool of the day.

And how do those first two kids do? And you sit there and go, OK. All right. So was that God's fault?

No, it was them exercising their free will. That's a really powerful point. And I appreciate you sharing that, Joe. God bless you. Thanks so much for calling in. Say hi to Stu for me. I will. Thanks, Steve. All right, man. Thanks, Joe.

Have a great evening. 866-348-7884. 866-34-TRUTH. What kind of parenting lessons have you learned? Give us a call.

866-34-TRUTH. Welcome back at Steve Noble, The Steve Noble Show. Great to be with you today talking about a difficult subject as lessons learned from parenting.

So if you have some lessons learned, either pop them into something. Hey, it worked. This really worked. Our kids are doing well. They're walking with the Lord.

They all married Christians, whatever the case may be. Great. If you have a really positive story, don't be afraid to call in. Don't feel like you can't say that because it's going to rub salt in the wound for other parents, myself included, to a certain degree that don't feel like they did such a great job. I think most parents struggle with that. I think most of us as parents aren't exactly giving ourselves an award. Right. All right. Fine. I'll get the participation award because I have been parenting for 27 years.

But I don't I don't think I'm getting a blue ribbon anytime soon. So there's that. And then we wrestle with how much of it we own when our kids aren't doing well.

Is that your fault? And when they're doing well, is that because you did something right? And then where's the Lord in all of that? And then what about them? Because they're free agents. They have a free will.

They get to do what they want. And listen, I didn't even become a believer until I was 28. So if my parents had been praying, parents really, really serious about the faith of their kids, that was not a part of my upbringing. We went to church. We would pray over, you know, quick over a meal sometime. But it wasn't like serious discipleship.

But if it had been. Waiting for me and the life that I lived, especially starting at about 12 or 13 and the way I was for the next 15 years. I think at 20, 21, 22, if somebody had said to my parents, hey, you know what? In about six years, seven years when Steve is 28, he's going to get born again and his whole life's going to change. And he's going to become a different person. There's still going to be some obnoxious things about him. And there'll be things about him that you recognize. But there's going to be some other things that you just don't have an explanation for.

That you're like, OK, that that's just not that's just not who he was at 20 or 22 or 18. And and are you willing to wait and pray? What kind of lessons have you learned as a parent?

Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four. Be willing to share those, even if they're painful. I'll go I'll go back to that second Corinthians, chapter one, where you become a steward of your affliction. You become a steward of the tough, tough things that you've experienced, lived through.

And then that allows you to minister to other people in a similar circumstance with the same care and concern that God has ministered to you. And you're a steward. Remember, stewardship is a big deal. We're a steward of what we learn. That's wisdom. You pass that down.

Then there's this account. And so please call in if you want to share something you've learned about parenting and would love to share that with others. Eight, six, six, three, four, eight, seven, eight, eight, four or eight, six, six, thirty four truth.

The lines are open. And now here's the challenge. Let's go to this one. The importance of discipline. Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. Proverbs 13, 24. Proverbs 23, 13. Do not withhold discipline from a child.

If you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Proverbs 29, 15. A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother. Proverbs 29, 15. Proverbs 29, 17. Discipline your children and they will give you peace.

They will bring you the delights you desire. Discipline, right? Discipline, discipline, discipline. Spare the rod, spoil a child. Apply the rod of discipline to the seat of understanding. Right?

All that kind of stuff. Now, the danger there, and I'm speaking from experience, is you can train their behavior and never touch their heart. Let me say that again. You can train their behavior. You can clean the outside of the cup, to use Jesus's words, and miss the heart. You train their behavior to behave the way that you want them to.

In public, at church, whatever. But you don't go past the outside, which is what man looks like, to go to the inside to the heart. And so that's where discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline. Like, like, and this has been a challenge for me, like, like it's a horse that needs to be broken. Right? Get a strong willed kid.

Got to break them. Is that how God operates with his children? I mean, those of us that are his children through faith. 866-348-7884. Let's go to Bill's calling in from North Carolina. Bill, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. Hey, Steve. Hey, I just want to make a comment. I've got four children ranging from 30 down to 15.

Wow. The good, the Lord blessed us and allowed us to adopt these four children. Amen. Different seasons of different seasons.

And I think it all comes down. You know, when it comes when we talk about parenting, I think we need to talk about the season we're in. My wife and I were not walking with the Lord and we were married 14 years and didn't have children. We started walking with the Lord and, you know, we were able to adopt and, you know, we adopted in different seasons of our walk. And so we parented each child differently during those different seasons. And I think that that has been a realization for me was, you know, we were really hard on the two older children. You know, and then the younger son, the youngest son, not so much.

And then our daughter, who is the youngest of the four, we've not really had to be hard on her at all. And I think it all has to do with the season that we're in. Trying to parent. So true. Yeah. Yeah.

And so so you're as you mature as a Christian, Bill, if I'm hearing you right, as you guys mature, your parenting style actually matures with it. Absolutely. Absolutely. And then for us, we we adopted different ages.

So that was you know, that was another challenge and season. Yeah. That's all right.

That's for sure. And those are just great comments. And God bless you, Bill, for you guys adopting.

What a great picture of the gospel. Thanks for calling and sharing that today. I appreciate it. Thank you. All right, man. Thanks, Bill.

God bless you. Let's jump over to Nancy, who's also calling in here in North Carolina. Nancy, thanks for calling.

Go right ahead. Yeah. Hi. Just a couple of comments.

One is. Just to let your children know they are unconditionally love. Amen. My children have really come back and.

And it's comforting for them to know that. And you've got to not be afraid to say it. The other thing I noticed is when I was the girls were younger is parents would discipline by saying, no, don't do that. No, don't do this. Don't do that. But they wouldn't go and say, you know, this is really what you should do instead. You know, if you if you're always told, don't do that, don't do that. You like freeze up or get mad or whatever the case may be instead of explaining, you know. Yeah, I think that that explaining I would I would wrap that into Nancy just kind of a conversational style of parenting. Talking about things as they happen, as opposed to just adjust. Now, there's times for a quick reprimand if something bad, really bad is happening and you have to stop. But other than that, I mean, that's it's like an ongoing conversation, which is what Deuteronomy six is pointing us to, that that's kind of when you wake up and when you lie down and when you walk about and when you're having dinner, whatever, just kind of keep that conversation going about what does it look like to be a follower of Christ? How has that changed your heart?

What are your desires? Yeah, that's a great point. And not just like your finger. One other thing is taking opportunities like whenever anyone was in a wheelchair or having difficulty, you know, I'd bring I'd let the children come up and talk or help them out or whatever instead of just stand back. Yep. You know, and look or or feel awkward. Yeah, that's a great that's a great lesson, which is just undergirds. You know, show deference to other people. Love your neighbor as yourself. I mean, that's all over both the Old and the New Testament that we're supposed to be like that. You're always looking for a way to serve others.

That's a great point. Nancy, thanks so much for calling in and sharing that today. All right.

Have a great evening. And and that's the things, you know, that's another thing. Encouragement. Encouragement is a currency we don't deal in much. And and that's that's one of the bigger regrets I have is I should have been an encourager. You might think, oh, Steve, are you probably an encouraging father? No. I'm I'm more encouraging now than I was 10 years ago. But. No, I was I was especially when our kids were young. We were I was more about cleaning the outside of the cup that that behavior and then preaching as opposed to teaching.

Talking at them as opposed to talking with them. And that could go on and on. And but but God is good and nobody's story is over until God says it is. And that I can tell you this. Our kids have seen my wife and I pursue God. They've seen us mess that up more me than her. They've seen us be total hypocrites. They've seen me be a total hypocrite in terms of claiming the love of Christ. And I can talk about the word of God and how we should do things.

I can do that all day long. But I don't often I don't always do it myself. And then that's that hypocritical thing. But again, as your children get older, they get wiser, too.

And they mature. And, you know, it's like, hey, hey, hey, dad. You know, yeah, you made some mistakes, but you're way better dad than you. You're acting like you are. And you made mistakes. But I love you.

I mean, look how much you did for us. And that's where that open communication and that's that gospel, man, that reconciliation. Looking out for each other, making allowance for one another's sin. That's why I taught our kids once I said, listen, here's the deal. It's like all six of us in our family.

We all go into a little kitchen and we're all wearing inner tubes around our waist. What's going to happen? We're going to we're going to bounce into each other all the time. Right. Are you necessarily walking and trying to knock your neighbor over? No, not necessarily. OK. Well, when the scripture says we need to make allowance for one another, one another sin, that's what it's talking about. Understand who you're dealing with and have grace and mercy and iron sharpening iron. Yes, there's a place for discipline.

Yes. But there's also a much bigger place for grace and mercy. And I wish I had modeled that a little bit better as a parent. So much to learn, so much to pray about. This is Steve Noble on The Steve Noble Show. God willing, we'll talk again real soon. And like my dad always used to say, ever forward, another program powered by the Truth Network.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-01-26 20:03:21 / 2023-01-26 20:20:10 / 17

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