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Tim Moffitt + Marriage Counseling

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July 6, 2022 9:23 pm

Tim Moffitt + Marriage Counseling

The Steve Noble Show / Steve Noble

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July 6, 2022 9:23 pm

Tim Moffitt + Marriage Counseling

Matthew Winslow takes the reigns to talk to Tim Moffitt about politics. He also talks to his wife about marriage counseling and how it helps.

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The following program is recorded content created by the Truth Network visit 15 mobile show where biblical Christianity meets the everyday issues of life at work and in politics. Steve is an ordinary man who believes in an extraordinary God it on a show, there's plenty of grace and lots of true no sacred cows call Steve Bell 86 34 true 866-34-TRUTH or check them out online, Steve Noble now here's your host Steve Noble whatsoever.

The level of clear what it is big on a little overwhelming for fellow hosting group little bit. The agenda for the day some exciting stuff to work alone and also sure we will show Steve is out of town this week so you got your guest posts today were to talk about how my friend good friend Tim Moffat Rosa Tim Moffat from Hendersonville whom he was the first section of the show and then that my special guest. My wife Marquita just so, and we are going to talk about marriage and counseling.

Some things that I don't think we talked about enough and try to give away the stigma of marriage counseling. You will background real quick and will begin the second part is so, but I have been married for 22 years starting I married Marquita in 1999 and this is not a test I should know when I got married in August 7 but we started dating when I was 16 and she was 17. So we been together since we were children and so what history together.

We grew up together had a good time and so will get under him a call in second half of Congress through that and then we'll talk about how to do so today has come.

Funny story on that one. But if our good friend Tim Moffat some so Jocelyn, Lynn, Tim, often in here popular good afternoon things going us to my best friend in the general assembly of Alcoa man.

You make me blush make me blush so when men were entitled to my friends and my Matthew so I presented up and help me help me today for some hosting so so you might to fill in all the time for, we'll see how it goes.

But the so attempt tell myself your bill up the mountains right mountains I get back at that time. I am younger and I actually am in a but I feel every bit as old as my age would tell you I wait a while. Haven't consequently my dear in my seventh year of actually my second tour of duty in the general assembly. The first two terms that I serve, I actually was in the county north of Henderson County, which is Buncombe County and when people would ask me where my district would always tell them that I may in the far western outpost closest to the enemy camp which is Asheville occult part of my my district that now I remind you that the time you that you lost was the most expensive race and history of the house so I can actually walk you through races I ran one out Buncombe County did like absolute have ever sent 2008 I was actually recruited by get stammer by no skips a great gentleman with an apex in wake County. He was at that point the house minority leader to give me a call and as I was referred to him as a as a business man that lived in the district and he introduced himself and course like most people have no idea who are leaders actually are the state level you have any public servant for them. Like any Commissioner town town Council and I had not okay so showed up at the office and introduced himself and we had a nice conversation I had about a week or so to decide whether to run. I did course, 2008 was a a a wave election that benefited the left and I lost that election was my first real experience in running a big time I campaign thing about the politics. It was insightful.

I learned a lot but I was disappointed about a year later, Tom Tillis gave me a call and asked me to run for the seat and in 2010 and I was reluctant because of my experience in 2008, but he said that if I would agree to it that he would be every step of the way he would help me through the entire campaign process and and a man of his word and he did help me and I one in 2010 sauce served 1112 1314 and 11, 2011 I was like most conservative member in the house. John blast from the Greenbrier area and I tied for ranking number one and in my second term, which was 13 to 14 hours right. The most effective lawmaker in the house and the Senate combined. So my record for that spacing a tremendous well funded campaign to defeat me in office and in reference to your .4 $0.2 million was spent well yet in that race and sadly lost that race, that point was average cost to run a race. This testimony you're probably in North Carolina at that point the record I think was 1.8 million. Most members in the house. There race is the cost between 30 and $50,000. Maybe in that county gives everyone an idea what you know, some races can actually cost and there there desperately to get somebody out of office.

I know what I came after you because you really affected. I'll never forget the day I want your office and so the house was mostly world's most runabout wasn't max.

15. Building 12 bills a year and just got to manage the process little bit and walk in Tim's office and I see a stack of photos on his desk and said we work on their faces. I get 45 bills.

I'm working on so you get some I just work and knows how to work within the system. I have a good work in my my my dad brought me up the right way and when I when I get to Raleigh. I'm there to serve not only the folks in my mind that I feel like servant. The entire site someone is 120 and how the entire body honor to be there. I don't like any time not doing what will you still love her. Keep your hold Matthew Winslow. I am just as the milk today and Jimmy, I will follow up with this is Matthew Winslow I'm just as the Steve Noble so so excited to be here. I'm Steve.

So much for trust me to be in the show today in the same time on the what were thing that would be on the show this. This is very excited same time.

Glad to be here so my good friend Tim Moffat resent him office on the phone. Tim's there with us still are very good, so we were just off thereby were just talking about how you want to fly house and and have the most offensive race and then spent $44.2 million a get out but they wouldn't tell the rest of the story you came back home. Years later, two years before his letter actually was six years after lost in 2014 actually had the county commissioner Buncombe County for a year and that at that point I had an opportunity to move back to Macon County which was Henderson and I did minding my own business when the representative from that area at that time Grady decided to retire from the house and he asked me to succeed him in the general assembly in thought about it sure if I really wanted to go back after some reflection decided to do so. There's a six year gap between when I lost in 2014. Upon returning, and 2021. Well, let's do it because you have before you have help me out so much.

My first year in office and have shared your advice to several people assume so you know there is cucumber business world. I can for the business world and we see issues we will solve the move over the next one and in politics and government. That's not how things necessarily work and I think after about month to you and you will you see the frustration of my face going involving office like this where somebody only one term. I met him go back to work full-time and you just to tackle because you slept almost like yes I've been there. I know where you're at and advise you hear me listen you if you don't know where to put your name on it you can make things happen right here and be patient. Look at it as a challenge that I would ever since I tell you what I really enjoy the challenge you to see the direct benefits of working on the general assembly and also when you have constituent request. People call you and hey, about something that needed because the issue with D&B or something else is going well.

They've gotten to last person I know to call and that we are the people you know where the rubber meets the road and help them out with one things I really enjoy and some of things that you have time either. So I'm really glad that she ran and I'm excited to be different in your district to be very proud to have you as their state is better off we have folks like yourself are willing to take their time to last and complete strangers in public service to make sure that the mystery of how the state operates from a service standpoint how that puzzle is his work to the benefit of our constituents, but more importantly what I've enjoyed about working with you how quick you are on understanding the complex issues that are facing our state you take a very thoughtful approach. The frustration that you and I both have a course that you were alluding to is we operate every day with a sense of urgency and sometimes we try to do that in the world of public service from a policymaking standpoint, it can get things but you never take your eye off what you're trying to get accomplished and there are many ways to get good things across the finish line that benefit our folks back home.

So thank you for being who you are and being receptive to taking some some unrequested advice from someone that values who you are and sees what the potential you have. I think you look like a beheaded time rehearses like you so much for that one things I want to touch on and this is one of things I really learned I really didn't appreciate most people understand is is a sacrifice that you make, and members like yourself across the state and the house and the Senate make a way for families in your business. You drive, what about four hours and Raleigh half hours one way and ending on the traffic when I last couple weeks ago. I can get you and so just just for record in the in the statehouse and the state so that we paid the same Tim just paid a salary of $13,900 and get finances amount of driving to Raleigh and so he does this not because of the glory or the money or anything else he does because he truly cares and I think we have some members of drive six hours and five hours and have to pay for hotel rooms and fuel and then turn around and again we may come in for one day for voting or maybe over three full days of voting in the last time this last week of the budget. I think nearby came in on Sunday and stay off of the week and Tara went back and so last session with long session history and we started in January and finished in March and so when the members of joke around about hello are in session and humidity, he suggests I was actually under resent how long I was going because I pay for 54 days with hotel rooms and so that's a lot of time to be away from your family and your business and everything else and you, spinning plates all over the place the same time, most of the people's business and so for me I really appreciate it because I driving to Raleigh every day is a 45 minute drive and also everyday wear one session and so is funny is that when you need new members of the first thing I ask is where you from how far you drive business college introductory thing and I quit saying where I was from how far drive because you could tell when a member draws in five hours sell him 45 minutes from here they come. Look at you like that's not right you know you sleep in bed, but so I really appreciate sacrifice that that you do as a member and speed at which the Starbucks run for the Senate in the leaving the house. You know will much out there for that now and get your become a senator. We will be talking about because apparently that's the way that it actually works when you're know that we we are mistaken friends and what were the ridgebacks working with the house and the Senate to maximize happiness people's business not care about the politics we care about doing the right thing. So you do not know a great job in the house and and while thing is we become the Senate.

Your territory is much bigger, especially rural areas like yours. You don't have the density to justify the be in one county's direction. Several counties so you have to travel more and more before the Senate, so the total bill out to one thing you had mentioned that the longest session in history, January, March is actually January 2021 March 2022. So what 15 month long which was an extraordinarily extraordinary amount of time spent about your question so the western part of the state, like part of the state is losing quite a bit actual population. Even though we probably had some population growth that was certainly not as much of the center part of the state around your area.

Wake County that area and down in the Charlotte Mecklenburg Union County. So when the maps were redrawn Senate district that I'm competing for right now is actually three entire counties that Henderson County Polk County. In order to get the population right number of close geography that I need within the 15 seconds. This walk is out here with things they know over the limit host name is Matthew Winslow my good friend Tim Moffat run for the Senate. Thank you so much to be on the show today and is Matthew Winslow however stated nobody so sad to be here. Thank you sleep so much in a guest post were official.

We finished up the first half of my good friend Tim Moffat, never bringing in Lloyd Martinez market online base would either sweep so that market online to my wife been married now, will you be married almost 23 years, I August 7. Just a reminder okay now I hope is when I asked you to marry me. I gave you like four months. Get ready to marry because we were in college and we you had to wait a year and 1/2 of the summer time we had to get married that summer because last year in March and August and so we can get married during exams because we had to finish college and then you said. I'm not waiting for, get married, and then mostly remained right in the neck, not so let's talk about how I was, do this is a teaser's about to hang out and see hello and get through this thing, but what's funny is, she had a dream will be about being Steve Noble show and it was and I woke up that morning and told you first.

Steve maybe drive around and it hit me because dreams always come back to wake up and that had dream. I was just as the Steve Noble show and the best part about it was that I could picture studio NEC student Steve got all the Star Wars movies and everything else and what's the first part about it was I was giving Steve a hard time because he had always hats in the studio.

In my dream, and he had like the Sherpa hats and a cowboy hat seems time on the show and everything else. I'll give him a hard time and the other part of it was you know he's he's very particular about Star Wars stuff and I'll give him a hard time instead of saying Star Wars like Apollo stuff Star Trek don't you believe that oh yeah yeah and so I just never give him a hard time and you see it was frustratingly given the hearts on the whole time and allows gases in the show and so I called Steven and told about it and while snow that uses you know what I think you just host a show and that's how it ended up on the show so those you like Joshua now sharp legal placement live and comment on what romance was only about what my dream actually meant it wind up on the service. Egos have fun with that one problem with my wife working right so great about marriage counseling. I so Mark even have we have been through marriage counseling because we we grew up like brothers and sisters and we have both very strong personalities.

If you take this profile. She's a high BMI hide the both strong extroverts. Although she would argue that she's not extrovert/introvert but I and in the evening, but on opposite sides of things looking get ready for the show*hate you a good list of questions and a current agenda. They were to talk about Ashley, we'll just talk and for me that creates anxiety alone. I know we have to be prepared and have questions and everything free to go and and marquee his way out of the side of it like this just have a conversation see what happens.

And so you can imagine. You know what to strong personalities and to opposite spectrum about who we are and what we do because in conflict and so all told Martinez that I want to come out of the dark and take away the stigma of marriage counseling, working and not one of things that and the reason I feel this way is that again here we are two off-site I go to the doctor every single year birthday.

I give a blood drawn a wellness check in the heart, textiles, things I don't just go to the doctor when I'm sick. Marquita has to be 1 foot in the grave matter drag her to the hospital, you know, for her to get better before she goes.

The doctor and so I think that so little things that I wanted to talk about is that I believe that for a good marriage. We should be have been counseling alive will talk about your friend that you got talk to initiated troubles AS a talk about a trained professional that is his strong biblical counseling and you go to and you have a conversation about your marriage, the things that you're trying to work on and we do this because we don't just go the doctor will restrict this. I want you to wait until you have problems in marriage.

We will do is you go regularly because what that does help build a foundation for strong marriage, and Marquita.

We've we've known throughout the years and we have a long timeline history and Gibson take away from our marriage counselor. Some things that that we that we have learned being marriage counseling. There are, and I actively read and I and Because you think that I don't like you know in order for our married matter to me that I not providing I could be providing you like I really need and at night and I really people who are into the love language in my love language is part of affirmation around me and that I think I like to you through this Fisher was my lovely spot absolutely everything, feeling on you like like like we've really enjoyed it. Now now to wait for me is that it just for what marriage counseling is and what is you don't go in there and pass it out and solve whatever issues which work on the marriage don't go in there and argue in an and the mayor's counsel is not the tiebreaker that's not what's for Windows. It teaches you how to resolve the issues and one of the things some of my takeaways is that we we we have been taught even after all these years about how to effectively have a good honest conversation argument and get the lien and not hurt each other's feelings right because over time. We when you know the people personally like we do. Over time, you know what hot buttons are and you know how to end the conversation quickly fly because of win loss right and so for me, you know, it says what were trying to do what we are trying to call the South were talking about world all go to college or work to the middle school were held to educate those Things instead of letting our feelings or pride get in the way we learn to have these good strong conversations and have no both sides and how was the best of both of us and then come to resolution at the end. And so by doing this is is I think is is good and I really enjoyed the fact that we can have good open conversations because there is nothing wrong with have different opinions and does not work on this. Just try to be aligned in how we walk and at the same time, enjoy the conversation, you are correct that I write because, like like the fact I your colic right and Mary Mary and God is not perfect and Mary and not me to perfect that you're married, you know that you are highly right. Basically, learning that your and you together facing the problem, not out there that you think I like your life, and we attack problems and work through problems and when Marquita also for his marriage is on the tech everyday mother world and the evil one need one knows that if he attack on marriages. He has one. Because our foundation is based on is based on the billable relationship with husband and wife and following God's lead and so when we allow the one into our marriage now was happening is God's no longer living God and with lighting and so one of things we shared market share back and forth is that over time when we let evil one in this is that one day I got a leave want here to ruin your relationship is one small block at the time. What happens is over time you build your block to Bill my block and every time you have one more block over time you your wall is taller and taller and eventually to the point was hard to see it over the company.

Resolution marriage counseling does is actually*stand on the walls one brick at a time, one over time, and he wants to send a he he helps you add a couple more and were trying to do was for every three that we put up every every two or three go up. You know, we will take three or four down so this will go over long time since I've other's Matthew Winslow I'm in for the Steve Miller so were talking, my wife, Marquita, marriage counseling and think with stigma of going almost 2nd so glad to be here. Steve, thank you so much for the implosive hosting the day excited to be part of it and get my wife Marquita Aland day swing to what marriage and counseling work, you still are still or maybe go there yet. Hey Marquita is fine. Talking to you alive and ready her back in here you and in the honey sweet stuff. I love it.

So, marriage counseling and market.

Although if you heard me talk about Facebook live but you know the one trying to get into our marriage and and nothing today was important. But marriage and counseling you are feeling well and we had to readjust and and put things together and you know because we flexible enough that we need to do away with stigma, marriage counseling, one things that I want to encourage people to do is that even if you're not having issues in your marriage.

You know we should go for will check and go in and have good conversations with good biblical leaders and counselors and people that understand what what do commercials like following God and so Marquita agreed Miller so with me today and fill in the last half the our income talk about it and so we talk about some things about somewhere takeaways from from counseling we talk about you know hello been together for 20 years and we talked about things like how I know our universe is in August so I got past test that was one thing when talking about Marquita is when the question is, is do you enjoy the marriage counseling. We both know stuff I would sometimes we have some things that that is in there. We don't want to get beat be touched, but you enjoy it. I enjoy conflict not really my thing. Getting you know that next Growing guy and were being acquainted. You have a dead American model that kind of merit our children as well. Someday when they pick their spouse at example is what do I want talk about my feelings.

I got there if we ever have them resolve the issues.

I can tell you that I'm approaching a columnist for drive and so Marquita always knows that the rear have a long conversation about something that wheat we needed to resolve her.

Ursula's going to lie for some big guy talk about sheet she already knows that the school for Risa were going to pass on those euros. Nancy's own on not getting the car is been passed on is been passed on to our kids today know that we get in the car that in this is to be right again to have conversations our daughter when she started dating in national and the college and set all the big things and then my son is 15. His new start driving here soon and so having these opportunities to soften the car and have his car taught conversations and so on. MRT you and talk about the car talk voltage cable years ago I lay out an out and out like an appropriate public we can talk about the car. My car talk like that start them and that we got the car we had an I don't even remember what out I later wear out about it and I think you need to start my car talking about like I got to tell you how are no got the car talk started becoming like a you and not paying in the car now, conversation. We can't do that really needed clarification.

I found it really good way to contact after they became teenagers. I carpool when I do not have to go back again for one year and I think she's going to college so no guy carpool for you Wesley we you carpool for your personal pack. I car got our family that I can't feel and care and are acting out security.

I got whatever anyone right but anything will no matter how shocking it is times that that was trying to suffer if they sometimes write that redirect core. I you want your children to getting out probably going live with our children that we were like what you mean you don't talk you later talk about why what were brilliant happened happened that way and I think that very special with our children and at international black metal top. Everything I give you credit for this much. I'm the one that had my facial expressions and I will jump right in and if you ever try to solve it and you listen knows more important for children to share was was going to life because there are times when I'm surprised how nave they are for the race because I'm just being raised differently. Sometimes I'm surprised about how grown they are and how much action understand that your boy is is a good example. I mean he doesn't.

He's charming and loving and he doesn't really engage in conversation, but he really focuses in and listens and he is the one that's positive. The most understanding what's going on and single school in the world and he comes up with some very interesting stuff sometimes reminds me that he is paying attention are very life educated herself on that after we gave her back nine. Again, car talk, we don't pull any sign back in the room but I think that have people like that personality combinations of their own.

Obviously, absolutely, to pass the children of a loving caring for sure. So, you will also want to bring up that the suspect on the merits canceled. I got sidetracked is that you know my background data marketed for almost 6 years and you start date was 16 and she was 17 and all through high school and in college and get married in college and you know one of the reasons I waited so long as I kept thinking what is what is show me the reason why I should marry her.

You now have my my background history is that both parents divorced multiple times and so it come from a background I kept thinking you know what is it that I'm missing for Marquita and then I asked her marry me and because I realize that you know wheat we were in charge of own future and our passes are pass and it does it does most and make us who we are.

The same time. This doesn't define who we are and so Marquita and I have kind of paper away and learn from lessons from the past same time being ourselves, and that will store not not so serious but I asked Mark you to marry me, and Cook Island before and by their cell phones and the best part of but it was wheat. We drove all the way out there, cloudy day and she's one of Ocracoke. Her parents live down in the hills are Kitty Hawk ever was one and am in so her mother knew she almost gave her why she was so excited because I told Manson I packed the ring away we went down the beach and so it if you got it set, even from Kitty Hawk to kill the hills. It's a good 2 Half Hour Dr. the 35 minute ferry ride the beach and walk down the beach and unrolled a sleep bag and got a ring and sing to her and asked her to marry me and by the way, I'm not a good singer so I wasn't that pleasant. It was something to like her to do it but I don't care what I did the worst thing possible to her lips to the most complete, most remote place possible after marry before cell phones really available, and so she had to ride the ferry back into half hour drive before she could tell her mother or friends or anybody else thought it was something about the cost of long for social media and cell phones and everything else. And so nowadays everything is instant nearby can do it live and so delirious that you know know has to marry me. I thought Tom so today we about 30 seconds so Steve always is. So from his dad's is a forever for Ford Ford, followed his life and worst day in politics. This is to straddle the fence, you get a ticket. And so that has served me well being in the house and that nothing will follow good influence on me like you Marquita for being part. I love you very much and thank you to my good friend for me and fill in the first hour Steve Noble to host a show today and I hope you enjoy your vacation and thereby other. Have good afternoon.

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