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Parenting Beyond the Rules

The Christian Perspective / Chris Hughes
The Truth Network Radio
July 9, 2021 5:50 pm

Parenting Beyond the Rules

The Christian Perspective / Chris Hughes

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July 9, 2021 5:50 pm

How do we cultivate lasting relationships? Chris is joined by author, speaker, serial entrepreneur, and connector, Connie Albers, to discuss!

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Because this Roy Jones with mental grid you podcast. Our mission is to break down the walls of recent nomination, your chosen truth radio broadcast will be starting in just a few seconds. Thank you. This is the Truth Network get ready. It's one of America's most important, influential, respected voices on cultural and political issues and apologist first political advocate and offer here is the founder and chairman of the citizen for America foundation, Dr. Chris welcomed a Christian perspective, holy looking God's word order to develop a Christian worldview in modern culture on Chris use our guest today is one of our nation's leading parenting expert.

You may have seen on Focus on the Family or many other ready or television shows. Connie Albers is author a speaker and she is dedicated to helping parents and students discover who they are and how they been created by God and how to cultivate lasting relationships as a family unit unit coming home schooled five kids, which she deserves a medal for that she understands what it means to balance the demands of life and work and homeschool like many of our listeners on his offer to great book. I want you to go out as soon as the programs over today and get a copy is called parenting beyond the rules as parenting beyond the rules and I wish I could admit, years ago, when my kids were little monarch in college mail but man I needed her help and I know that many of you are struggling.

His parents are what we do in this culture today.

How can I be a better parent. How can I guide my kids to live the life that God is called them to live so I'm so excited. Have Connie with us today. Is she shares with us some great parenting tips Connie, thank you so much for being on the Christian perspective.

Okay, so what what exciting time. We live in, but all very challenging time. His parents, and you've got more experience than most of us could you have five kids so what are some the challenges that parents and kids are facing in our culture today. Long right now and read and we forget that we create in our family unit. What works for our family and it greatly with our limit in our little dark boundary that are 2020.

We started everything change the world changed and parents are concerned or clear that concerned about keeping the heart of their child.

They're concerned about their children maintaining the value that they like their life and teaching them on teaching them a lot white matter Christian worldview. Our biblical worldview there teaching them out right from wrong and how to treat others with kindness and grace and fairness and and and parents are really struggling right now, not in America but across the world. It is worth being with knowing how to navigate these then cultural chaos yet I think a lot of parents have been opened in the past year with with COBIT my kids. I think your kids are all grown elements in monarch in college, but I was just shocked when my kids were in high school that what they were being taught in and we look at their textbooks and the things that they were required to read and also I was shocked at the lack of engagement of parents in the in the school system.

I know you homeschool but I know you work with a lot of other parents you what can we do to get parents engage the culture wake up and coming. Take five minutes to look at what your kids are being worked the smut in. I guess thereby think some old-fashioned crazy or whatever but particularly like an AP English class isn't coming out.

If you've seen some of the stuff. The stuff the kids are required to read is just shocking in its filth. You wouldn't even let them watch on TV. It's challenging and most parents don't have a clue what's going on and pointed him back to parent day parent where that they were the ones that were going to David final authority that a direct grant right now to parent their children down and shut up now to your question you want to parent. There's three okay just really good thing that came from, how that there had been a lot of bad thing but encrypted to see what the kids were learning because we have an entire nation. They were going with more pandemic schooling and parents are scrambling to figure out how to keep their children from living ground academically, but what the kids were being and that with the curtain with pull back and opened a lot of parents I want to get back good thing that came in parent spending more time at the now you and I both know it.

What are you going to their particle or public school work on constantly and leave it happening or maybe you know we would have dinner together at the restaurant sometime. Had dinner together at the table that largely everybody was doing there and I had parent now spending more time with their children. They were playing game. I'm working the old-fashioned thing that they would meet together more of a recreational activity together. Family good thing that came from the family unit with spending more time together and positive thing people enjoy life. The birth of my very valued at that kid being able to go out and play in the neighborhood and being able to be based in the backyard to play dodgeball. While there are good thing that the negative thing like you that I remember when Mike Mike sent me a bit hopeful but about going in that like their home all the time to go.

I think that we don't.net all went to university and they went on academic scholarship and note even even then that the information that was told that it was required in an freshman comp or the conversation gushing great that they would have to have I can't how to answer according to what they thought or what is expected of them to please the professor to get that, but they have to get now it's just going all the way down to elementary the unit will we be worried about what would happen now worth being that is being taught the children at elementary aged things that are totally against the value of I would say the majority of American and parents are scratching their head because just recently we see that kids are now being punished if their parents to stand up and speak out introduces a whole new conundrum to raising children and standing up and peeking out just kids are embarrassed and ashamed and really ridiculed if they don't go along with what's going on. The schools you live in Florida, North Carolina, where he states probably different, but in North Carolina there is a requirement that every public high school student has to take my give the correct name for what is basically like a health class. There's nothing wrong with that but through the course of the curriculum throughout the year.

There's about a two week. Where they teach a very in depth. I mean it's it's in the six basically a six.

Id. Corn in the curriculum and and I've been amazed at the number parents of told about this that had no clue their kids really recorded in Connie. It's a very graphic you I don't have a problem with teaching, but biology and basics all but are really in my opinion you know the detailed sex education should come from the parents not somebody that you never even met at a school system that is teaching in many cases very graphic homosexual acts and so through the five years, not because they were slow. Just as A's differences were spent about five years of high school.

During that time I was the only parent who opted out so you have a choice under state law were your kids don't have to go during that two week period, but my kids were sent to the library and that they were made fun of the road by their other friends because they were not you that the water pressure was put on them you were you some kind of religious nut were you not in the class and and teachers are not always as friendly either. So parents just don't have a clue what's being taught, and they really really need to pay attention. You were talking about COBIT and how families were doing things together and will we really seen a change in the past year and it's also something that I think is going spur more interest in homeschooling. What can parents do. Connie nailed the school to go back in the fall and how can we spend more time under something we did as a family is suppertime was kind of a sacred time you have not not always as a sports club events or whatever can you always eat together but do you think that Starbird or try to pick one or two meals at least a week where families sit down and put away the cell phones and cell phones what they want because I what are some things parents can do now that the parents are back at work. The schedule is going to go back to school soon.

What can we do to keep that relationship going in and try to spend time with her kids like we have COBIT LY table. The table on the restaurant whenever you work.

I conversation what I write about and really it by can't do it on.

Not only did he put the device in a way not placed or trying to break the air everybody great you want to be a kind not listening to what the kids are going through what they're doing. Her friends are struggling last them what their what they are learning question with them to learn. I always say not with them to correct them and set them straight on their manner. You know what they should and shouldn't be doing incredibly important craft. The other thing just be more than starting as you start to pack your schedule. You can team how there's been probably the last draft because you're not running all over the place. I'll be very slow and intentional about what you are allowed to take the time and when you are on your way to ball practice their dance lessons or whatever your child involved in. Then you likely don't let it be putting on their devices.

While you're in the car, In question. If you are kid about their brand at the gateway and being able to find out what's going on with your children, for instance, I think your friend Eli Metcalf that they were struggling or really struggling with their brother or sister or maybe a friend at school and picking on how is that going in a very matter-of-fact nine I got any answer formulated to give it to you right away on you want to use that time wisely thing because I know much of what your program about parent are going to be a car.

When we stand up and speak out that our children are watching and learning their learning.

We put our money, our money where our mouth is. Are we willing to stand up for what is true and right for their future because that's really what were were looking at now is a radical change and how we the concept of the family unit and parents tell their children.

One thing and then they hear them or watch them live a different way whistling mixed-signal so that there is going to be more of push and a challenge for parent state that fine line where the kids are off to five made fun.

I picked on foliage, ashamed, or even kicked out of school because that maybe what their parents are trying to get involved with school boards or whatever on to do that bit at the same time letting them know that there comes a time in and every you know in our lives where we have to to speak to the truth and and do it in love and do it in gentleman is or what the value that we believe and why. Always tell your children why you're doing what you're doing and why you believe what you believe.

That's that's really important of always told my kids you need to know what you believe and why you believe it, and people many people and culture today don't know particularly Christians because so many pastors don't really preach the whole inspired word of God. So even if you're going to church and not always learning things that you should learn and most Christians never read the Bible every day so you I think it's important we claim to be a Christian or whatever we claim to be. We need to know what we believe what we believe it be able to give a defense will before you service. I am you've met me, you know, I'm short fat guy and I like to eat but that food is a real opportunity you'd want to get the kids you cook. You also don't just cook the meal but have them come in and cook with you sometimes or have fun but but when you, ask about friends. I would encourage our listeners invite some of your kids friends over for supper once in a while I know you not drill in just a euro else I won't how to cook. Anybody can bowl a hotdog or make a taco or order pizza. It doesn't have to be a gourmet meal but then you become friends with your kids friends in and you get to know them and you learn more about who they are at school because another of the same necessarily at home. The art school you learn more about Ottoman.

I think this is very helpful in and and I enjoy eating and getting people together around the table.

Will you work talking a while ago about how we speak truth in her kids lives in in and try to train them properly what you seeing with kids that are going away to because I read a lot of studies that say that tickly Christian kids huge percent never go back to church once I go away to college and in because of the indoctrination is taking place in so many college campuses today.

What can we as parents do to instill the proper values that we want to store children and then hopefully stay engaged with them so that when they go to college, they won't lose that faith that we have tried to bring them up to to have children that are in college and meeting your daughter and I think you could address that I think you're doing exactly what you're asking your intentional crap about spending time with your kid communicating, connecting with them and we lived so much opportunity to communicate that I cared whether Dr. King or out there that like in your you after walkie-talkie connected on constantly.

So when you click on older one of the things that we would do we happily still have a group that and will look hot, be popping in with text that hated going on what were struggling with Killington going to be doing that great paper that pray for me here on and ask questions and you you do you know your your kid our children are being bombarded with a way of thinking that is being presented at factual, accurate, and anything that is not different is wrong.

Not even up to date her question and fell at what I have found with all Mike went on to college and stepping away from the faith with we just really focused on the relationship of having with the kit might make them think you know now it dangerous because it can haunt them for the rest of their life like letting them know that no matter what you're there they can trust you they can confide in you. You will love them unconditionally and that the doors of communication will always be okay you you're there to help guide them to help given by and help them with the decision-making, that and they are growing into the person God is made them to be and they will have to make final decisions that there is a time where they have to make the decision because they defend the responsibility of adult life and when we had wrong relationship like you have with your children if they can come to you and pay you now.

I heard that then you know like or I heard that my protector and I don't how to answer it and you know my children are now out of college. We still have that conversation because that living in our society right now you not really sure which pronoun you're not really sure what words are okay today that might be damned, and are Canterbury and King. With that, and they're highly aware that one long, could cost them their career and tell when they know that mommy got an anchor and we remain dead.

That day will be able to navigate cultural chaos and come out on the other side but a stronger faith because they've been refined to fire since it's been interesting for me. You know what Rick rabbitry will something you were referencing just a minute ago is now that my kids are not a high school anymore. It's been a real adjustment for me to try to make the transition from being what the authoritarian parent to me. I'm still a parent but euros adults. I want to be friends with my kids to my kids also went and so you I think it surprise them. Some because I've shifted my daughter like you know what's up with you to do it when you're an adult male you know when you have to make your own decisions and to be like you said your home was terribly super she can talk to me about something. Talk to me and give advisement and you're the past up. I gave advice pretty much was awarded in and even less about surplus and was talk about supplement and messages will be clear for say are you asking for mild buzz is about to give. It was for that's got a surprise in the transition but I'm trying to learn as well and it's not always easy is apparent to know how things change as the kids get older and you have to start to let go of them, which is very difficult to college because I have to tell parent tried the length of your child by a world of opportunity. Basically a world of hope and possibility their world and live there yet only got my under there about where we now gone through some tough times in our life and we want to bear children, that maybe that pitfalls that we had to encounter a walk. Have there on, but if you like.

Even then I thought well the transition like a beautiful Dan and you're trying to learn how to move, and a way to gather that they expect that responsibility of adult thing we can scary you know it it's fun and adventure. Same time on but we have to remember craft are just like with what we have taught it by their brain mean when they think about something. Oftentimes they think about what would that what we got it done what Woodmont on what we got a monitor actually a good thing because that a life childhood Atlee coring and then teaching them right and wrong and value what God's word has to say about matters of conducting and living life. And so it would be children return not only make that transition.

I love how you act them out.

You want my treat you just want to like that you need to enter externally product type. Tell me what you need and not going to take some adjustment for your prayer.

Your style because you love you can't click then normal severe left as you were saying that you were in their head.

Just last week my daughter was like dead.

You're in my head all the time because of the what you can save if you say something and she said just what you said we really was what you just said.

She said you raise is the way that you believe God wanted you to raise us and she said, but you know you were my protector and it one thing to go wrong, but am adult now and I've got to make some mistakes and I got a letter from a year for myself. That really hit home with me and you just said the same thing. So that must be God telling me and say out of a little bit got a few minutes but there's something really important going on and I didn't dedicate if we got have you back. I had bought two pages of questions of always got through that even 1/4 of but so your your fast thing I want to have you back sometime. But before we wrap things up.

There's a real big issue today in society called critical race theory or some people if you're on the new CRT which kinda goes hand-in-hand with capital culture before we leave. Can you talk about if you don't mind your office covered completely. Booklet CRT and cancel culture house at affecting our kids and what can we do to help them in this really is going to kick you and I think when kids go back to school in the fall when they been away for a year, tells about cancel culture and seniority. Yeah well, and importantly mandated federal level, the national education for teachers union their their wanting death in every damn everywhere and there is a big fight against that because the majority of parent don't want their children judging other people by color. They don't become a playground for me that you know to get now playing in the neighborhood and you can't get together for children to think differently than what the teachers are trying to are I would not even pay the teachers as much as big. Though the critical race theory is not to go away anytime down and it is an area where Going to.

I strongly encourage parents to talk to their kids about it.

Knowledgeable again green the reports reading what their proposing go to the go to your school board meeting. Go to your different setting, and what it is and what did he think that having a conversation that day understand truth you know what what is being taught versus what is true is it true on their think about our country that can change it but we don't want to dismantle our entire country and be careful with that temple culture is one of the thing that your kids get older, especially your children that are in college there keenly aware and it causing people to be left people as 19 and in college get the caulking and to be more mindful of the work that you went actually not a bad thing because we have a lot of you were and label I and I believe that making our kids more mindful of the work that they use and how they describe things, what they post on social media there more akin to you know what, maybe I don't post my little rant on special meeting or make a tweet about it on my personal thought to myself or Sam with my family.

Or maybe a trusted friend, but it is not not saying that our kids are wiping up to what could become your way mom and dad got to be there looking to scream and cry. Pray fervently for your children pray fervently. Your children have discernment that they have with them if they have strength of character that they know on the day they treat others with kindness and grace day knowing to speak and when to be quiet find it going to be critical thinkers only when were on her knees praying to the Lord and were asking ordered to intercede on our children for half the answer will protector so true Connie, thank you so much for being with us takes listeners. I want you to go to Connie Albers.com Connie has so much great parenting advice that CO in an IE ALB ERS Connie Albers.com. She also has a podcast is called equipped to be in. You can find it anywhere you get your podcast got Apple iTunes Google player wherever it may be, and right now I want you to go to Amazon as soon as we get on here Amazon.com or where you buy books and get her great book called parenting beyond the rules that's parenting beyond the rules by Connie Albers, Connie you are such a blessing. I want to have you back in thank you for being here with us today. We appreciate you so much for folks like you for joining me today on first use of this. Thank you for listening. I want to subscribe to micro podcast. Please share with your friends and social list change the culture Christian perspective. Learn more about impacting the culture Christian perspective US. This is the Truth Network


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