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August 8, 2021 8:00 am
Marriage is a wonderful institution designed by God. But it's not always an easy one in the raising of a family adds to the pressures and responsibilities of the home. How can we counter those pressures and create a successful environment where the family can thrive. Welcome to the Bible study our radio and Internet broadcast with Dr. James Boyce preparing you to think and act biblically.
God has given us clear guidelines for exactly how a family is to function and time has proven them successful, but changing secular views increasingly stand in opposition to God's perfect plan to God's standards need adjustment to the age in which we live.
Join Dr. Boyce as he answers the question of whether God's rules for marriage and the family are still relevant today. One of the most important things that can be said about a Christian marriage is that unit God has established a union between two persons are union, not an organization but we've said that it must also be said that marriage does have organizational aspects.
Of course we must give attention to these also how is marriage to function after the wedding vows are taken is it to be a democracy as a DBA dictatorial system, a monarchy or is it to be a Republican form of government and one of the duties of the husband and the wife and the children to each other and to the Lord. Many of the answers to these questions are found in the passage we began to study last week as an adjunct to our exposition of the sermon on the Mount. The fifth chapter of Ephesians versus 22 through 30. In this chapter. Marriage is set forth as an illustration of the relationship of Jesus Christ to the church and the duties of the husband and wife to each other are set forth in terms of that relationship. The wife is to submit herself onto her husband, as unto the Lord, the husband is to love his wife even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it later in chapter 6 of Ephesians.
Children are told that they are to obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right, and they are to honor their father and mother. The parents on their part are to raise the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord now today we want to look at the rules governing each of these relationships.
The first word God has is to the wives and it's an unpopular word especially today for God says that the wife is to submit herself to her husband. When my wife and I were married in June 1962 Dr. Robert Lamont of the First Presbyterian Church of Pittsburgh performed the ceremony and spoke for a few minutes from this passage after the ceremony, a woman came up to us and said that she had never heard those things before we said what things she said about wife submitting to her husband.
Then she added that she was going to go home and tear that page out of her Bible. What she didn't know was that even tearing out the fifth chapter of Ephesians would not of solved the problem. The same teachings are found throughout the Bible or it's true that Ephesians contains the most extensive passage says wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord for the husband is head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. But it's also true the same thing is set as far back as the third chapter of Genesis we read in Genesis and on the woman he said, that is God. I will greatly multiply advice, sorrow and thy conception in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children and by desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over the Colossians 318 says wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fifth in the Lord. First Peter we read the same manner you wives be in subjection to your own husbands. Once again the reference is to the standards set for all of us by Christ. I think that the biggest difficulty with these verses today is that most wives do not realize what they actually mean. I suspect that most husbands don't understand them either, but long ago I was counseling a young couple my ask if they understood what God meant when he said that the wife was to be in subjection to her husband that the husband was to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. The wife was wise enough to remain silent.
But the man blurted out what that means that we are to love each other but whenever we disagree. I'm to give her a hug and a kiss, and after that were to do things by way well if the husband thought that was no wonder that the wife disliked the teaching and husbands in general misunderstand it well who can hold the wives responsible. What does it mean the wife is to submit herself to her husband is under the Lord. Well, it certainly does not mean that she's submitting a form of slavery or tyranny, were not called to a form of slavery or tyranny by Christ does not mean a type of blind obedience either. The wife is not chattel either does it mean that the submission itself is always entirely one-sided because the verse immediately before this says that we are stew.
Submit ourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. One of the underlying meanings of the Greek and Latin words translated be subject bears this out because they are constructed of a verb meaning to set door determine our place and a preposition meaning under the meaning is to throw oneself under must the words can refer to a type of obedience that is supporting like a foundation supporting a house or a member of the White House cabinet supporting the president of the United States. Wife is to be this to her husband involves obedience.
Of course, but if any. Wife is thinking to herself that this is a demeaning position she's to remember the same chapter of first Corinthians that says that the head of the woman is the man also says that Christ is the head of the man and that God is the head of Christ. No woman should be ashamed to be part of that relationship. I don't think the position that God sets forth here for the woman necessarily means that the woman cannot have a degree of independence. For instance, there's no reason why she can't pursue a career fair conditions in which a woman can do this and still support her husband within the marriage relationship. For instance, in order to increase the family income at the time when the children are going through college does not mean that the woman cannot pursue our own interests. In fact, it's a dull marriage of the wife has no interest at all.
However, if the tool come into conflict and his wife's career puts the career of a husband or if her interests lessen her concern for his work in the goals he is pursuing, then the wife is to yield to him in exactly the same way she should yield if her interests come into conflict with the way marked out for her by Jesus Christ. Someone says but isn't that unfair. The answer is that it is not unfair because that is the way God made things.
Moreover, no wife will be truly happy in her marriage until she is willing to let God treat her interests whatever necessary in order to balance those of the man, let me say one more thing. Do you wives before I go on if you were to be all that God intends you to be as a wife, you must show an interest in what your husband is doing for that you must be informed. I know of a marriage in which the wife has never shown any interest in her husband's work. Instead has always insisted that he leave the problems of his work at the office result has been a sense of unfulfilled need for the husband and an increasingly limited and introverted existence for the wife. How much better it would have been if they could've grown in the man's work, and in his responsibilities together. Of course all of this is only one side of the relationship, but as you will see because if God sets a high standard. Before the woman he sits an even higher standard.
Before the man wife is to love her husband and submit to him that she loves Christ and submits to Christ, but the husband is to love the wife as Christ loves us and gave himself for us husbands do you love your wives like that if you do, you will find that they have little difficulty in submitting themselves to you in the way the Jesus Christ intended as an incident in one of the Greek histories that illustrates this point exactly. The wife of one of the generals of Cyrus the ruler of Persia was charged with treachery against the king and after a trial. She was condemned to die.
At first, her husband didn't realize what it taken place but he was told about it and that once went bursting into the throne room. He threw himself on the floor before the king and said, old Lord, take my life. Instead of hers. Let me die in her place. Cyrus, who by all historical accounts was the noble and extremely sensitive man was touched by this offer.
He said love like that must not be spoiled by death.
Zoe gave the husband-and-wife back to each other and let the wife go free. As they walked away happily.
The husband said to his wife, did you notice how kindly the king looked upon us when he gave you your free pardon.
The wife replied I had no eyes for the king, I saw only the man who is willing to die in my place that is the picture that the Holy Spirit paints for us in the fifth chapter of Ephesians. The husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and no wife will have much difficulty in obeying a man who is willing to be crucified for her own. Another aspect of this relationship is that the husband is not to criticize his wife publicly. In fact, is to be heard. Shield and intercessor. The Bible says that Christ gave himself for the church. Not that he might criticize it, but that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives to listen to some husbands talk, you'd think that these verses were never in the Bible, yet they are and they mean that if you were to husband God hold you responsible for the defense of your wife, and to some degree. Also for her spiritual growth and understanding, and equally important verse for husbands is first Peter 37, which says in like manner he husband's dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor under the wife, as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.
Simply put, this means that God will not even hear the prayers of a man who is too ignorant to know how to treat his wife or too foolish to value her is the greatest gift God has for him on this earth. Well, what does it mean to dwell with the wife according to knowledge. One thing it means to do those little things for her that not mean much to you, but that are everything to a woman, Keith Miller said that for him dwelling with his wife.
According to knowledge meant learning to empty the trash basket for it was not easy because he'd always thought of trash baskets is women's work mentally.
My mother once said to me that it should mean giving wife a little bit of money to do with as she wants and with no questions asked. I think that's part of it, even though you may think that she will spend it foolishly. You should do it anyway she might just spend it to get her hair done or by a new hat so you might be a beneficiary. Eventually anyway. Billy Graham is send the dwelling of the wife according to knowledge also means being courteous.
He writes, remember when you were sweethearts how courteous you were used to go around the car and opened the door and say darling once you step out now. You don't you remember before you were married. How you used to take off your coat and put it down in the mud puddle and tell her to walk over it now.
When she comes to a mud puddle. You say jump lady. I think you can make it. Well how true the life that is and how much we men need to change. I suppose it would mean the most astonishing transformation of our homes and our societies.
If only men could learn to treat their wives properly. The most important thing that the husband is commanded in the Bible is to be the spiritual head of his home since that involves the children as well as the wife. I propose to treat it more broadly. In that context, what does the Bible say to children Bible says honor thy father and my mother but if they are to do that, then you and I must be the kind of fathers and mothers that our children can honor Bible says my son keep the commandments of my father, and forsake not the law of thy mother find them continually upon my heart, tie them about thy neck. God tells a son to give such meticulous attention to the instruction received from his parents. It's implied that the parents must give sound counsel clearly then God holds the parents responsible and particularly the father's for the spiritual life of their home. The Bible teaches. The children are to obey their parents and if they don't, the parent is responsible before God for establishing discipline and meting out punishment. Someone says to me you me to say that the Bible tells me to spank my children. Yes it does. The Bible says chasing my son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. The Bible says withhold not correction from the child. For if thou be just him with the rod, he shall not die.
The Bible says he that spirit, his rod, he dipped his son but he that loveth him chasing the theme early. The Bible says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. That is the Bible, my friends, that is God speaking woman once came to Billy Graham and said Mr. Graham, don't you think that all my little boy he needs is a pat on the back. Dr. Graham answered lady if it is low enough and hard enough it'll be all right.
Let me add that I know quite well. The children are all different and that each one requires different handling. Some children do not need to be spanked in order to be disciplined for some a sharp word is sufficient, but the principal is that discipline must be established and maintained when the parent is disobeyed. There must be chastisement. What is more, must be chastisement within the general spiritual life and worshipful atmosphere of the home that there must be family prayer and Bible reading in the father is the one responsible we've touched on many things in this study of the home, but it will be of little effect unless each of us will put it into effect practically some of what I've said will apply to those were not married but were thinking about it. I know that many of you are, you must hold these great standards of marriage up before you, and evaluate the one you were thinking of marrying in the light of them girls. You must look at that fellow and asked, can he be as Jesus Christ. To me, can be for me a man that I can obey him, to whom I can submit subordinating many of my interests to his if you cannot do that look elsewhere. You fellows. You must say my willing to give of myself for her. Do I love her enough and respect her enough to die for my willing to be patient with her and even to cover up her faults as God instructs me to do if you cannot say these things, then it is not right for you to marry her.
Some of you will be beyond the stage of courtship in the early years of marriage and will be facing problems with the raising of your children. This is difficult today, but you must not let the difficulties deter you from the true course of action. Your children may be stubborn, but the Bible that are promised they'd be docile. That is why you may have to spank them it's possible that they do not even respond to the spanking. Well, then you must not give up merely on that account. Keep at it. Isaiah wrote that God's methods with us are precept upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line here a little, there a little and his methods must be ours. Moreover, you must pray for them and asked God to create in you the kind of character that will be winsome and that your children can respect. Finally, there will be some room. These words seem to relate your case. Love has died and there seems to be nothing that will rescue your marriage from that void were not for what your friends would think of you. You would go ahead with the divorce. What should you do will you must yield to the Lord Jesus Christ and let him worry Kindle.
The love that has grown Cold War a living love that has died. A woman once told me that at one point in our marriage. Her lover died entirely and she had come to hate her husband so much she could've stabbed him with a knife.
She yielded to Christ and ruin him that love was rekindled and she learned that Jesus is indeed able to bring life out of death, love, out of hate and a true Christian marriage out of Shyam and violent hostility if you will yield to Christ and his standards. He will begin by making a view way new creation and then and by making all things new. In our father, we thank you. This is always true for your children that each day is a new day with you and that for you. Nothing is impossible help many listening today to come to know that and to experience your power personally.
We pray in Jesus name, Amen. Are you listening to the Bible study our featuring the teaching of Dr. James Boyce, husbands, wives, parents, children, the Christian family can use all the help he can get. Certainly we can no longer look to the popular culture for support. Wayne Mack of strengthening ministries offered resources with the Christian family that the reformed Bible conference and his message is today's free CD offer. Mack explains the importance of family and the life of the child reminds us that every family is in a battle for survival is free CD offer is our gift to you. Call us at 1-800-488-1888 will be pleased to send you a copy of resources for the Christian family that number again is 1-800-488-1888 with the rapidly changing morals of a broken world. It's more important than ever that the truth of God's word must be heard. Dr. Boyce is clear.
Unchanging messages continue to do just that without apology to help us continue to broadcast these messages by making a generous donation online. The website address is the Bible study our God or you can also call us directly at 1-800-488-1888, and our mailing address is 600 Eden Rd., Lancaster, PA 17601 in Canada. You can reach the Bible study our at PO Box 24097 RPO Josephine North Bay, ON P1B 0C7. Thanks for your support thing can act biblically is Dr. Boyce's daily devotional that corresponds with the message you just heard on the Bible study our read and subscribe to think and act biblically at the Bible study our God, our by Mark Daniels. These divorce ever permitted to or appropriate in a Christian marriage. If so, what grounds is it acceptable and if it isn't acceptable why Jesus answered this issue in no uncertain terms in the sermon on the Mount, and his answer is still relevant for our time. Join Dr. James Boyce as he studies Christ's response to one of the most volatile and controversial questions in the church today. Let's next time on the Bible study our preparing you to think and act biblically