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Bitterness, Part 2

Summit Life / J.D. Greear
The Truth Network Radio
March 6, 2020 9:00 am

Bitterness, Part 2

Summit Life / J.D. Greear

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March 6, 2020 9:00 am

In the series, Home Wreckers, Pastor J.D. talks about several common stumbling blocks that destroy our ability to have healthy, God-centered families. On this edition of Summit Life, he describes one of the deadliest poisons to relationships: bitterness. We’re discovering that the only cure for bitterness is to be transformed by the grace of God.    

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Life with JD Greer's people were perfect for perfect people were screwed up what you are speak to dogs right he can do what he needs to do is uses very flawed people were very much in the wrong to accomplish the purpose and you Bible teaching ministry in JD Greer.

I'm only minutes where in a series called home records talking about several comments doubling locks that can destroy our ability to have healthy God centered marriages and families. If you missed any of the previous messages you can hear them today were talking about one of the deadliest poisons to any relationship, bitterness, and relearning that the only cure comes from being truly transformed by the grace of God after JD titled this message.

Bitterness the Bible presents families and presents them as they are not what we would wish that they always were you read some of the stories of families, especially Old Testament is like watching a Jerry Springer show what that tells me is that there are families in their marriages in here in this church that have issues.

We got a statement under the summa church of everybody's mobile in the note. The note in your closet. Their families are as dysfunctional as those as many of yours work. Now let me make sure I'm clear on the some of you had great families and you come from great families and you have a great family now. I'm not trying to imply that behind every family or some deep dark secret.

My mom and dad were faithful to each other for our entire lives in the store, they never abused us, they loved us they serve.I grew up in a great old.

Regardless, however, everybody's family, everybody's family looks a little different on the outside and a dozen inside that's routing same in writer. There are two ways to have a great family. Two ways.

One is you can all be perfect all the time. The others that you can learn to show grace. The first was not really an option. Okay so wake up is not the Brady Bunch. The first one is not an option. So I want to explore. The second one with you. That is what it looks like I have a gospel centered grace, saturated, marriage and family because God doesn't want you to be trapped in the prism of bitterness that is a homewrecker to talk about what that looks like Romans chapter 12. If you have your Bibles were going to be focusing today. Try to think what passage really that would get at the heart of this one and this is the passage that I just considered to be absolutely foundational to know how to get along in relationships, aggressive people, people who fight and you got passive people. People who flee. A lot of us are kind of a mixture of the two like like me. I'm gonna smack and run guy in a little bit a passive little bit of aggressive I'm not you go zero passive aggressive person who has done the wall either have their sin paid for by Christ on the cross like yours was, or they will suffer for themselves and help.

Either way, vengeance will be served to the full extent, and that means that you have the ability to forgive you the ability to forgive because any amount of forgiveness that does not include a sense of justice will be a hollow forgiveness when the last. No other religion in the world teaches you what I'm about to teach you. There is number one.

Grace absorbs evil and gives good nobody who has been deeply wrong, ever just forgives grace always involve suffering if you forgive, you are agreeing to absorb the wrong for their read their action towards you and not give retribution response. This is of course what Jesus did for us he absorbed the effects of our sin and released us from the liability of punishment. Jesus didn't just forgive us, he absorbed into his body. The effects of our sin again. Nobody was really been deeply wrong, ever just forgives when they have wrong you.

You have to choose whether you were going to give retribution.

Whether you believe their sin was put away forever in Jesus will be vindicated and help. I want to definition of grace. When I was a kid that I never forgot that ought grace GRA CE God's riches at Christ's expense. God not just forgive me. Even just forgive you he gave you is riches, but at Christ's expense, which is yet another dumb Christian bumper sticker. Christians are not perfect or just forgive and Christians are not perfect, not just for Devon God and I just waved his hand forgiveness he absorbed into himself. The expense of our sin so he could lavish upon us the riches of Christ, God's riches at Christ's expense. Grace absorbs evil what Jesus did. There's number two. Grace overcomes evil second revolutionary truth from this passage Grace overcomes evil Romans 828 tells you that your father is working all things, even the bad things were good in your life you will believe that you want to embrace that you feel like you want to go back and get vengeance you want to hold yourself in the prison of this past and you are thereby forfeiting the mercy and grace and the blessing that God has for you now get out of the prison to pass bitterness and into the promises of future blessing because God has a way of overcoming even the worst things in your life for me summarize these verses Christians don't respond evil aggressively respond passively.

They don't even respond passive aggressively Christians respond to evil get this with aggressive grace is what I want you write down aggressive grace, not passive, not aggressive, not passive aggressive aggressively grace that I would deal with a couple to three objections, but I've heard you thinking you're going and I heard three objectionable natural minima give you a handful of steps to show you how to apply this on a day-to-day basis write you three objections number one if I forgive you. Say you take care of me to cut my cause.

Nurse my words short answer.will objectionable to if I'm being hurt are you tell me just get walked on to tell me just to roll over, take it to to be taken advantage of.

Not all first of all, part of overcoming evil is confronting somebody in their sin. Scripture talks a lot about this. Ephesians 415 tells us to speak the truth in love. Galatians 61 says that if you see somebody overtaken a forgot to go to them humbly and meekly and restore them.

17. Tell your brother sins rebuked him if he repents, forgive him. This is not confronting them like yelling at them not verbally whipping them.

It means lovingly confronting them for their sake, which means you do so without the slightest drop of malice or ill will or hatred. Jesus had a great way to talk about this on stuff like this.

You gotta turn the other cheek which means you absorbed the blow, you confront them about the wrong and then you reoffer the relationship to them. This is most filled with Jesus on the cross, Jesus absorbed the blow.

But then he offered reconciliation. A lot of times we don't say anything, the people would still like for me and loving will be a patient. We are not overdoing is be a coward.

You might want to say that to take it to be a mortar you're not being a martyr you're being a coward. Tim Keller says that ultimately any law that is afraid to confront the beloved is really not love its selfish desire to be loved because I'm not confronting you because I'm afraid that it confronting you to be mad at me and I don't want to lose the face of my relationship with you.

So I'm saving you. I will let you continue on your sin even though I know it's destroying you that is not loving that is cowardly to quit: a Christian virtue is not loving thinking due to somebody just to confront them about their sin and having all say here on this point is that this passage recognizes there is a time when you have to remove yourself from the situation is not possible to live peaceably with somebody member from Romans 1218 looked at Romans 1218 but said if it's possible, live peaceably with all people proposed conceiving. It's not always possible. Sometimes you want me effects so much easy to overlook it on the talking not confronting over everything, leaving the relationship of everything wisdom it's glory to know when to use overlook it. Wisdom is knowing what goes and what category you will tell me what goes and what category I know that's what you want to be one of the list so you could out check it off and hit the bottom and and and go with. I could give you guidelines about harming you about a person's heart is what I could do all that been the day. This comes on the wisdom and guess what, you're not a place to make that kind a wise choice because your emotions are too involved, which is why you want to be a small group and be involved in a church because that's what God's gift is to you for other people to speak with them in your situation. I'm not talking about a group of girls in your girlfriend you gossip with the Barnes & Noble about how bad about that level friends. I'm talking about godly friends who can look at a situation and help give wisdom into a situation about what you ought to be doing objectionable three double she would never let someone to bear the consequences for their sin no sometimes you let people suffer the penalty for their sin. Proverbs 19 goes on to say a hot tempered man must pay the penalty if you rescue him just to have to do it again which we sometimes let people suffer the consequences go. I do this with my kids this because I forgive them. Doesn't mean that they will never face the consequences for their sin again. It takes wisdom to do this so there's your three objections to her little or no super proud of the ways that you can apply this to give you this 11 product things you don't freak out because the real quick just major cities like drive-bys need to write these down on the dashboard of your car because you some of you will need these five times on the drive home. Okay, so what you like this 11 things down and I want you to think about what is good to drive by most of one when it's possible you need overlook the offense. I was Proverbs 1911. Sometimes the glory of being a believer is you just let it go. I wish that I lived this my marriage would be so much better. It's not.

It's not often that I'm just directly hypocritical, but I clearly am on this point where my I'm back. I'm on the screen you just let it go. Let it go. You told me he confront every wrong. You always have to respond use. Let it go absorbent move on number two.

Forgive in advance. Forgive and advancement you Mark 11 see Mark 1125 says when you stand praying, if you hold anything against somebody forgiven those when you're in prayer, even before you actually don't confront the person you've already forgiven them in their hearts. Luke 17 if your brother sins rebuked him if he repents forgiven for sins against you seven times a day and seven time comes back to you and says every time I repent forgiven Jesus Imus is 707 people here that are like all well 490 scorecard 491 Old Testament on you know what is meaning scorecard seven in the in the Bible is the number of perfection, completion two, 770 means ultimate completion, or forever means there's never a time when you have not already extended forgiveness even before they passports you resolve in your heart to forgive in advance regardless of their repentance on the issue because repentance is more to do with you and God. It is you and then number three take time take time. This might be one of the most radical new one and how you should respond to somebody who's wrong you are you going to make the right decision in the moment of anger, easy question, no it never works out well for you to respond in anger over the years until he got little rule about a call to 24 hour rule about not responding to emails that make me mad. Within about 24 hours almost all what I responded that I just don't send it to Lee because I almost always rewrite it when I'm not angry and it comes out much better. 24. I usually do that sometimes. In all, go ahead and let it fly. But I usually regret I usually regret it.

Take time take time when you'll surrender now or whatever it takes a minute's walk away. Number four ask God what he is teaching you in the situation as company teaching you during that time you take out a prayer to God what you trying to teach me to this painful situation and realize that God can and does God cannot speak through very flawed people do you. That's another myth is that God always speaks about why the people were perfect.

He doesn't speak to people who are perfect. He speaks to people who were screwed up, like you are. He thinks the dog takes right he can do what he needs to do is use is very flawed.

People were very much in the wrong to accomplish good purpose and you stressed out. He's teaching your situation number five. Reflect on your own depravity reflect in your own depravity. Paul says Galatians 6 of 20 views caught up in a full go to him with humility and meekness.

You also are the kind to be tempted. This person is no different than you write you the same stuff and you you have the same make up your every bit as depraved as they are and you reflect on your own depravity and that makes you go with humility. Number six. Rejoice in your own forgiveness rejoice in your own forgiveness because see beating Christ gives you the security to be able forgive and it also gives you the grace to want to forgive when you're in Christ forgiveness comes naturally. See because of the limit to how the assets of the last week that I think some of you misunderstood because I got a few emails about it so clear.I told you in Christ you give up all you have.

Because in Christ you have all you need in Christ.

I can give up all that I have because in Christ. I have all the some of you simple does that mean that I could take advantage of and you take everything for me that I have no nothing at all but I'm just saying that when you're in Christ. There's a limit to how deep somebody cannot your see your real wealth to real significance. Your real security, your real worth is in Christ, and they can't touch the when you're in Christ is a limit to how deeply they can hurt you.

Here's what I'd say listen how well you understand the gospel how much you getting on it.

It is measured by how much pain you can endure and still have joint how well you understand the gospel is measured by how much pain you can endure and still have so you cannot indoor disliking by your spouse, you cannot indoor insult. You cannot indoor any pain because usually understand the gospel at all. Your joy is not in Christ, your joy is in something when it's threatened. That's why your joy evaporates your understanding of the gospel is measured by how much you can have joy even than this. The pain because your joy is in Christ when you send the gospel and that's something that insulting pain can't touch or take away number seven take the initiative, take the initiative is one place in the Bible where it says that that if you're the one who is wrong.

You're going to ask for forgiveness. But there's no place in the Bible says if someone has done wrong here you go after forgiveness. The astute reader will say what when do I not have the initiative when is it their responsibility in the answer is never, never move always lies with you when any relationship has cooled, listen when any relationship has cooled or weakened in any way. It is always your move, always the matter who started when any relationship has weakened or cooled off in any way.

It is always your movie doesn't matter who started that's what the Bible says if you're in the kind of thing I and I am number eight apologize for your wrongdoing without qualification apologize for your wrongdoing without qualification. Never ask you to discover after forgiveness. That's kind of like a little forgiveness and a little bit like you like. I'm sorry that I said that you but you are such an idiot, which is why I said that you and I went out for forgiveness here while giving you explanation over here was and when you listen when you explain your wrongdoing.

You're not asking for forgiveness you're asking for understanding and those are two totally different things. You audit me to give exclamation at some of the point from them, but to be a separate conversation going apologize for what you did wrong without qualification, assuming some you guys some of you men have never never asked for forgiveness from your wife truly it's always been God did this, but here is really what you did. You been asking for explanation not forgiveness and you need to repent. Straight up straight out irrespective of that I'm wrong. And you're wrong is not excuse my role some of you men have never offered a real apology or what never, never, never, you've offered to coworkers you never offered a real apology. Your wife. That's where it all began for you today not confront where appropriate, confront, where appropriate, number 10. Forgive fully forgive fully got Ken Sandy gives local peacemaking for families for promises of full forgiveness or they are I will not think about this incident. I will not bring up or use against you. I will not talk to others about it and I will not this I will not allow to stand between us or hinder our relationship number 11 repay with repay with good writing will be closed by explain the state when I was growing up. The tradition I grew up in had these marks that they said were true of you if you were really saved. There were things like, you know, if you really had been saved. First of all, if you were a girl you started working lots. In those long short of server culottes you develop like an intense hatred for rock music and beer and cigarettes. You just sort of a Bose and you cut your hair short of your guy that was the marks of the developing insatiable thirst for southern gospel music that was the marks attributable to get you really say this is what you do start speaking Elizabeth and Betty and Robert King James English was the other Mark, doubt that's ridiculous is already most of that's ridiculous, but there is one definitive mark of somebody was truly takes the grace of God one definitive mark and that his people were really taste the grace of God develop an insane ability. So for some of you. The question is listen. Your inability to forgive that bitterness you harbor is an invitation that you never really raced. I don't mean you don't believe in him and you're not saved, but you never really been embraced by the grace of God is Jesus said those who are forgiven much love much forgiven much begin to forgive see if forgiveness doesn't come as naturally to you for bitterness is just one insulting your heart got to ask you this. You really ever comprehended what God has shown to you. You were guilty of the sin of the rejection of authority of the blaspheming of God that the only way to cover it was either for you to suffer for eternally in hell or Jesus to go to a bloodied cross on your behalf and face the wrath of God for you.

How could you possibly understand what God has forgiven you off and not naturally have a heart that feels compassion and forgiveness for other people because you recognize that there to pray like you are and that you work for a recipient of great grace to give great Christ navies 11 steps you don't design your dashboard so you just need to get your partner in the grace of God for you because it is 11 steps of the start come naturally to you. You need to behold, your God, you need to behold what manner of love the Father has lavished upon the we are not just made right with God. We are be called children of God we are his delight. And when you have been overwhelmed by the grace of God and you began to love begin to forgive those who are forgiven much love much forgiven the grace of God, but I pray in Jesus name that arise would be open to the greatness of your grace for us forgiveness is the fruit of worship. Help us to worship and stand amazed pray in Jesus name.

Your willingness to forgive in alignment with your ability to live with beautiful trees today on Senate life. Our message today was called bitterness and if you join us late. You can hear this message again free of in our newest resource hidden grace says eight surprising stories that led to a dying church's revitalization.

We share inspirational stories from Pastor JD and others in our church in Raleigh, Durham, North Carolina. We left for you to be encouraged by reading more of the story of the stomach church that displays the journey from a vibrant beginning to a dying metal and then how God brought it back to life in the early 2000's, I believe so many of you will be challenged and begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel by hearing the stories from some of our long-time members. It will give you examples of what faithfulness and grace look like in our church, but also what it might look like in your church as well.

And grace is you can read Pastor JD's account of what the sometimes painful journey look like is the pastor, but there are also stories from key leaders in the church and how they have also been impacted by our growth as well as growing lines to get you a copy of this powerful so when you get $25 or more today will send you a copy of hidden grace said our way of saying thanks for your generous support. Give us a call at 866-335-5220 and remember to ask for hidden grace number again is 866-335-5220 rather mail your donation are addressed. JD prayer ministry, PO Box 12293 Durham, NC 27709 or you can get the book online dating and while you're on the website.

Be sure to sign up for email last you received ministry along with posts and articles from all kind greatly dictating when Christians struggle with despair to be a lot of sane even when there Molly like to invite you to join us next week Pastor JD about the biblical response to this type of Monday on Senate life prayer ministry

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