David's Great Friendship

King Saul hated young David, and Jonathan was caught between the two, his father and his friend. But in his loyalty to David, he has to be disloyal to his own father.

And I don't think we can skip over that lightly. I mean, the tension that had to be in the heart of Jonathan when he knew that he was being torn between the ties of blood, the loyalty of family, and the love he had for his friend. That loyalty that David and Jonathan demonstrated toward one another is legendary. Their friendship provides one of the most gripping narratives in Scripture, a friendship that was tested many times, but as we'll learn in this and future lessons, even death could not break that bond. Here's Dr. R.C.

Sproul. As we continue our study of the life of David, we turn our attention now to chapter 20 of 1 Samuel, which chapter gives us that wonderful narrative of the deep love and affection that existed between David and Jonathan. What I want us to see in this episode is the expression of loyalty that takes place between friends and among brothers and sisters. I remember being on an airplane many years ago on the way to California from Pittsburgh, and I happened to be seated next to a man whose name was DeBartolo. It wasn't the young DeBartolo that owns the San Francisco 49ers. It was his father who was the head of this vast corporate empire in America. And in the course of that trip, we had all kinds of interesting discussions, and we talked about how to put together a team of people to work in an organization for a common cause and how to find good managers and that sort of thing. And I said to him, Mr. DeBartolo, what's the single most important quality that you look for among your managers? And he never hesitated. He looked at me and he said, loyalty. And I had mixed feelings at that moment because all the books I had read say, yes, it's important to have loyalty and so on, but the person who surround himself by yes-men and by people who are sycophants who just do whatever the person says can be construed as being loyalists, but they won't tell the leader what the leader needs to hear in times of crisis. That really isn't loyalty.

But why would this man who had built an empire still say in spite of all of the downfalls and downsides to looking for loyal people that he say the number one consideration he had was loyalty because he understood that in any enterprise where people are involved working together, whether it's a family, whether it's a home, whether it's a church, whether it's a company, whether it's a football team, loyalty is absolutely essential for that operation. For us to work together in any enterprise, we have to be able to trust each other. And trust is a fickle thing.

It's an extremely fragile thing. I've often said it takes years and years for deep levels of trust to develop between two people and five minutes to destroy it. And some people, after you have broken a trust, they'll look at you and say, please forgive me.

Trust me. But trust to a certain degree is not something that one can do voluntarily. I can't push a button in my soul and say, now I trust you. Do you mean will I act in a trusting way? Will I take risks with you? Yes, I'm prepared to do that. But will I have a confidence in my soul that you are trustworthy?

I can't push a button for that. I've often wondered why it is that God allows one ground at least for the dissolution of a marriage, which are the grounds of adultery. It seems to me if there's any human relationship where we are the most vulnerable and the most dependent upon trust, it is the relationship of marriage.

And when that sacred trust is violated and broken, you know, it's very hard particularly to ask a woman to say, trust Him again. This is the reason why we make covenants. This is the reason why we make promises. This is the reason why we enter into pacts and sign written agreements because we are not trustworthy. I used to take a very loose attitude towards this thing and say, I don't need to sign a contract.

I don't need this. You know, my word's good. Your word's good. And until I had an agreement like that once and the other person violated it blatantly and I went to that person and I said, you said that you were going to do this, this, this, and this. And the person looked me in the eye and he said, no, I'm not going to look me in the eye, and he said, do you have it in writing? And I said, no, I don't, but that's what you said. He said, well, if you don't have it in writing, don't come to me and say, give me this, I said, you said stuff. It doesn't mean anything. I was terribly disillusioned by that.

And it bothers me to even ask to have anything in writing. But it's because all of us are covenant breakers. All of us have violated our word in the past that we resort to covenants. Now what we have in the story of David and Jonathan is a precious narrative of human loyalty. And yet we need to see that in that story of such deep and profound loyalty, there is an emphasis and stress that is put upon covenant.

Let's look, if we will, at chapter 20. David fled into Ramah and went and said to Jonathan, what have I done? What is my iniquity? What is my sin before your father that he seeks my life?

And Jonathan said to him, by no means you shall not die. Indeed, my father will do nothing either great or small without first telling me. And why would my father hide this thing from me?

It is not so. David, you're being paranoid. My father's not out to kill you. My father's not going to try to get you. Now David could have said, look, if you just went back and read the last chapter, you would have seen that my wife Michael had to rig my bed at home and put a dummy in the bed because your father sent his soldiers over to my house in order to kill me.

And I got let down out of a window, and I escaped from that situation. Jonathan, he's serious. He means business. Your father is trying to kill me. David, if my father was trying to kill you, I'd know about it.

Because whatever he plans to do, whether it's something monumental in importance or it's some trivial matter, he discusses it with me. And David took an oath, and he said, your father certainly knows that I have found favor in your eyes. And he has said, do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved.

But as the Lord lives and as your soul lives, there is but a step between me and death. Now the purpose of this oath is to assure Jonathan that David means what he is saying. He said, Jonathan, I promise you, your father's trying to kill me.

I will swear to it before God that I know that this is what's happening. So Jonathan said to David, verse 4 of chapter 20, whatever you yourself desire, I will do it for you. There's mixed loyalty here, and we have a tendency to praise Jonathan to high heaven because of his loyalty to David. But in his loyalty to David, he has to be disloyal to his own father.

And I don't think we can skip over that lightly. I mean, the tension that had to be in the heart of Jonathan when he knew that he was being torn between the ties of blood, the loyalty the loyalty of family, and the love he had for his friend. We say that blood is thicker than water, and that family should hang together and stick together.

The most loyal people on this planet, to me, are the members of my family, and I know that. I can remember an incident that took place several years ago in Ethiopia at the time when Halle Selassie was still alive and was the emperor of that country. Halle Selassie left the country, went to another nation on some international mission, and while he was gone, some guerrillas, some renegades came in, led an uprising, and came into the airport at Addis Ababa and captured Halle Selassie's son. And at gunpoint, forced Halle Selassie's son to turn over the radio station and the reigns of government to this group of usurpers. Well, the message somehow reached the ears of Halle Selassie, and he hastened to return to Ethiopia, and he came back into the country, and with hours after his return into the country, he was able to put this coup attempt down and to regain control of his own government and secure the release of his son. And after the dust had settled and the uprising was over, Halle Selassie's son was brought into the presence of his father, and the emperor said to his son, why did you do it? And his son said, father, I had no choice. They had a gun to my head. And Halle Selassie looked at his son, and he said, I am glad, I am glad, my son, that you are alive, but I would have been proud to have attended your funeral.

Whoa. Can you imagine how you would feel if your father looked at you and said, I would be proud to attend your funeral? Halle Selassie was saying to his son, son, you betrayed me. I know it was under duress and all the rest, but still you betrayed me. And this is what Jonathan is doing here. What possible justification does Jonathan have to take part in a conspiracy against his father, at least a conspiracy of warning David and so on? It's not a conspiracy against Saul, but for David. Well, the Scripture tells us how it was that Jonathan was able to remain loyal to David and not to his own father, and that is because Jonathan understood that Saul was wrong, and Jonathan was not about to say, my father, right or wrong, or wrong, my father.

I love my father. We're flesh and blood, but my father is attacking an innocent man without cause, and it is my duty to warn him. And so we come then, and he says to David, whatever you desire, I will do it for you. And so David said to Jonathan, indeed, tomorrow's the new moon, and I shall not fail to sit with the king to eat, but let me go, that I may hide in the field until the third day at evening.

And if your father misses me at all, then say, David earnestly asked permission of me that he might run over to Bethlehem, his city, for there's a yearly sacrifice there for all the family. And if he said, that's fine, your servant will be safe. But if he is very angry, be sure that evil is determined by him, therefore you shall deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you. Nevertheless, if there is iniquity in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father? And Jonathan said, far be it from you, for I know certainly that evil was determined by my father to come upon you.

If I knew that, would I not tell you? And so David uses a little white lie here. Now remember, we've been calling David, David the great and David the man after God's own heart. What we're beginning to see with David as he gets more and more distressed by Saul's hostility and pursuit of him, David does not always act with integrity. In fact, David's sinful nature becomes more and more evident as this drama develops.

Yes, he was a man after God's own heart, but he was a sinner after God's own heart, and let's not forget that. And already he's concocting this story to have Jonathan go back and lie to Saul in his behalf and say that David has to go to Bethlehem for the feast and so on, and this is a test to find out what the reaction of Saul may be. And in the meantime, they cook up a scenario by which David can be warned if indeed Saul is determined to kill him. And so David said to Jonathan, verse 10 of chapter 20, who will tell me or what if your father answers you roughly? And Jonathan said to David, come, let's go to the field. And they went out into the field, and Jonathan said to David, the Lord God of Israel is witness. When I have sounded out my father tomorrow or the third day, and indeed there is good toward David, and I do not send to you and tell you, may the Lord do so much more to Jonathan. But if it pleases my father to do you evil, then I will report it to you and send you away that you may go in safety, and the Lord be with you. And then you will show me the kindness of the Lord while I still live, that I may not die. But you shall not cut off your kindness from my house forever, no, not when the Lord has cut off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth."

Let's not forget that. They make a pact. They make a solemn covenant. That whatever happens in this, Jonathan is saying to David, that you will remember me in your kingdom. I'm not trying to have your kingdom, David. I know that the kingdom has been prepared for you, but I would sure like to be on your team.

I would sure like to still be your friend. I would still like to sit in your kingdom, and if you will be on your team, I would sure like to still be your friend. I would still like to sit in your kingdom, and if all of the enemies of you, David, of my father's house are destroyed, spare my family. Remember that, because one of the most moving episodes of David's life happens years later when Saul dies and David scours the kingdom to find a remnant of the house of Jonathan in order for him to keep the words of this covenant and of this vow that he takes here on this occasion. Verse 17, Jonathan again caused David to vow. You see, this chapter is filled with vows and promises and covenants between these two men.

Jonathan caused David to vow because he loved him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul. And then they work out this arrangement that on the next day, David will be hiding out in the field someplace, and Jonathan will find out what the plans of Saul are, and he'll take a servant boy there, and he'll shoot some arrows as if he's shooting at some game out in the wilderness there. And when he shoots those arrows and he sends the servant to fetch those arrows, he's arranged a code with David where if he tells the servant to go in one direction, that communicates to David that he's in trouble, that Saul is planning to take his life, and David must flee for safety. But if he sends him in a different direction, it's ollie, ollie, and come free. You can come on in, David.

You're safe. You can bring the arrows and come in yourself because Saul has no evil intentions. And so David hid in the field, and this episode took place. And in the meantime, Jonathan speaks to his father, Saul, and he tells him the story that David had cooked up, that David asked permission to go to Bethlehem, and so on. And in verse 30 of the text we read, then Saul's anger was aroused against Jonathan, and he said to him, you son of a perverse, rebellious woman. You can translate that into the vernacular on your own.

You don't need my help. But notice he's not taking credit for Jonathan's being his son. He's now cursing his wife for burying Jonathan. Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother's nakedness?

For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, you shall not be established, nor your kingdom. Now therefore, send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die. And with these words, Jonathan knew without a doubt that Saul was planning to kill him. And so Jonathan rose from the table in fierce anger, ate no food the second day of the month, for he was grieved for David because his father had treated him shamefully. And so in the morning, the arrows were released into the air, and David was given the warning. And we read in verse 41, as soon as the lad had gone, David arose from a place toward the south, fell on his face to the ground, and bowed down three times. And David and Jonathan kissed one another, and they wept together, but David more so. And then Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, since we have both sworn in the name of the Lord, saying, May the Lord be between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.

So he arose and departed, and Jonathan went into the city. When we were kids in youth group, we used to give the Mizpah benediction at the end of every fellowship meeting, May the Lord watch between you and me, while we are absent one from the other, which is taken from the book of Genesis. And we tend to think of that benediction as simply asking for God's protection. No, that vow is this. We have made a commitment to each other. I'm going to trust my life to you. You're going to trust your life to me.

And right now we're all in one accord. But I'm going to go my way. You're going to go your way. I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring in your life. You don't know what tomorrow is going to bring in my life. You may change your mind about your loyalty tomorrow. You may be seduced by one of my enemies tomorrow.

And if that happens, remember that God is watching you and that God is watching me because He is the one who will guard our covenant. The friendship David and Jonathan enjoyed is an example for all of us. Stay with us here on Renewing Your Mind. Dr. R.C.

Sproul will return in just a moment with a final thought about the loyalty of these two friends. As we study the life of David each Saturday, Dr. Sproul is taking the time to help us see David's place in redemptive history. King David is an important figure in both the Old and New Testaments. Our resource offered today provides you with a firm understanding of how Scripture fits together, the Old and the New. It's the special edition of R.C.

series Dust to Glory. There are 57 messages in this series, plus a disc containing the study guides. You can request this special resource when you go to renewingyourmind.org or when you call us at 800-435-4343. To supplement your study of David, I would encourage you to consider subscribing to our monthly devotional magazine, Table Talk. For more than 40 years, it's been bringing articles and daily Bible studies to more than 100,000 subscribers. You'll not only receive the monthly physical magazine, but you'll also have access to the archives at tabletalkmagazine.com. I just did a search, and there are numerous articles on the life of David. You'll find additional content online that's not in the print edition.

You can learn more and subscribe at tabletalkmagazine.com. Now here's R.C. with a Coram Deo thought for us. I want to speak to you for a moment about trust and about loyalty. Every person who hears my voice right now has had the experience of somebody's breaking trust with you. You know what it means to put your trust in someone and depend upon their loyalty and have them betray you.

By the same token, you know in your own mind and in your own memory those people in your life that you have betrayed, where you have broken trust with them. And most significantly, we have broken trust with God Himself. We have made promises to God, promises to Christ, vows that are sacred and holy, and we have broken those promises. That's why the Bible warns us against the rash making of vows and pledging of oaths and promises, because the Bible said, it is better not to vow than to vow and not keep the vow. And yet we need the security of promises, solemn promises, of covenants, and of agreements that are made among ourselves, because we are fallen people, and we are people who break our promises. Let this lesson in the life of David and of Jonathan be burned into your mind as an example of the importance of loyalty, of the importance of loyalty, of trust, and the keeping of promises. Because of that loyalty and trust that David and Jonathan demonstrated, King Saul's jealousy only increases and leads to a life on the run for David. We hope you'll join us next Saturday for Renewing Your Mind. you