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From LSD to PhD: My Testimony Up Close and in Depth

Line of Fire / Dr. Michael Brown
The Truth Network Radio
August 23, 2021 4:50 pm

From LSD to PhD: My Testimony Up Close and in Depth

Line of Fire / Dr. Michael Brown

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August 23, 2021 4:50 pm

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The following is a prerecorded program go in deaths today into my personal testimony must be PhD stage for the line of fire with your host activist all the international speaker and theologian Dr. Michael Brown your voice of moral cultural and spiritual revolution Michael Brown is the director of the coalition of conscience and president of the fire school of ministry get into the line of fire now by calling 866-34-TRUTH. That's 866-34-TRUTH your again is Dr. Michael Brown friends.

Thanks for joining us today on the line of fire. I'm not taking any calls today as I was praying and reflecting on content and things I want to share with you. I thought you know a little deeper to my own story my own life. Background how I fell into sin how the Lord brought me out how he saved me how I ended up on the trajectory of of life calling educational background apologetics. I think you'll enjoy the story. I think you find that if I think you find encouraging and it is all to the glory of the Lord know if you look at my emails, please do take a moment now and go to ask Dr. SK DR just a few couple seconds. Put your your name your email. We love to be in regular contact with you when you do all share in writing with you a bit more about my background from LSU to PhD will let you know about the 3Rs of our ministry, the things that we give ourselves today and I and most importantly will let you know about all the resources that we have free resources you can take advantage of so that we can equip and strengthen you to be on the frontlines and to fulfill your calling God's that together in Jesus name in the name of Yeshua our Messiah King together we can make a real difference. Okay, was born 1955 in New York City. My dad became the senior lawyer of the New York Supreme Court hear my mom wonderfully beautifully happily married my sister for 1/2 years older than me.

We then moved to Long Island right before he turned seven years old so growth on Long Island in the suburbs by day commuted into New York City every day and I was a typical kid Jewish kid along on mom and father Jewish. We want religious Jews.

The community that lived in about 300 families and install them Jewish them right over the bridge. A large community. Almost all gentlemen went to school together hung out together, played together, but it wasn't religious so we would go to synagogue on the high holy days and and then when I got a little bit older and close to 13 I had a go to Hebrew school a couple days a week so was after regular school. We walk over to the synagogue of the Jewish kids heavy superclasses learn little about Jewish history as it got closer to bar mitzvah time then we we would get the portion of Scripture that was set aside for that day of the year. We point being bar mitzvah and learn to chanted in Hebrew, but the religious upbringing was such that I learned to chanted in Hebrew without anyone telling me okay Michael, here it is in English when you study it. Look at it reflect on it that was even the issue is more getting through this ritual process. Now I started playing organ #is six years old.

My sister and I started playing organ and then it was eight my birthday's around there parents and was talking what I like Drummond so discussed their drum start playing drums and really like playing drums and seem to have some email. Some skill is for little kid.

So my parents got me a teacher fellow in our community who is a professional drummer, and among other things he did and and he treated me and you saw and that I got the whole drum scene got me interested in it because of music and in the Beatles come to America on Ed Sullivan show, 64, some nine years old with a point.

This impressionable little kid right. Anyway, just like your average kid growing up in the suburbs go school where Homer can be done go my friends house every day we play ball different friends replan Street we play in somebody's driveway for no basket basketball we go back to school with her fields and courts and things like that. Is it play over the weekend and play games and read whatever okay then have like these passionate interests. The things I was following so 13 years old. Get bar mitzvahed and to be totally honest, it was not a spiritual event from think of it in spiritual terms at all. It was something that I did because I was Jewish, and the big event was that the party and have in from of my friends and all of that so is a social event more than anything else. But later that year, November of that year my dad got my sister my tickets to see Jimi Hendrix in concert is New York for Molly because I was into rock music that and I was listening to it latest drummers and try to learn what they were doing and and duplicate with the redoing and things like that. My drum teacher to have taken as far as I can and and and he was really pleased with my progress and stuffs is really into this and that's what had a big spiritual impact on me.

Not my bar mitzvah.

See Jimi Hendrix in concert so impressionable 13-year-old and and you've got this band and in the Solomonic when the volume is so incredibly loud and everything about them is breaking the rules and in different in the house I had to be a band I wasn't playing in a band. I had to be a bands is obsessed. I gotta be playing an abandoned and ends listening to the music day and night. Then I'm 14 years old and so close friend says hey you want to try smoking pot men were standing on a street in our neighborhood with her smoking pot and I knew that the rock stars got high and that appeal to, because I wanted to be like them.

They were like my idol so I want to be like them and he of course the role bigger than life there.

The superstars amazing and then the other thing was it was forbidden. So sometimes something that's forbidden has a special allure to it: how may times are you walking past the yellow wall or something and it's his wet paint. Don't touch you've never thought of touching up all your life with those like old 00 touch.

Of course you don't get all the euro is paint but the snow don't touch that long memo wanted Proverbs the voice of foolishness, says stolen water is sweet food eaten secret is delicious.

You can have it you wanted all yeah it's being with your spouse. That's old hat will be having an affair with school so is the appeal of the forbidden and those two things together. I thought okay let me try should do it.

Let me try the person with their smoking pot and they're telling me it is really good quality they smoke pot before and I smoke it, nothing happens. Literally nothing I feel nothing but make sure it's rather than stopping there. It got me curious so I decided okay next opportunity. I had was with some friends and we were in my house this time, in an upstairs room. We hang out, listen to music and my parents is let us be in private up there and they had hash so that's one step up. That's, that's more potent than pot and from what I understand pot today.

You can just buy legally and very states this is much much much much more potent than what we were smoking back that so were smoking hash and they're getting high and this is amazing and I smoke it and literally. I feel nothing, zero, so rather than quitting while I was ahead. Now, if I know what you experiencing some I'm not so very quickly.

That's why I started to harder drugs. Other people who smoke pot for years and hardly did anything beyond that for me the quote I will get Holly to getting high. So immediately I started trying other drugs and it was quickly taking Down's barbiturates within taking ups while world feels like a better place and and and then somewhere along the line memo just 14 years old summer along the way. LSD know the exact year that it was II know that it ensured heroin so I was 15, but LSD and now you move into a whole different world.

The world of psychedelics in the mindbending mind stretching and you think you're being enlightened and now you listen to that same rock music and it allots us different and he now such as Hendrickson seen in concert but I'm going every concert I can see the doors at Madison Square Garden officer Janis Joplin at Madison Square Garden. But then discover the Fillmore East another displaced call Fillmore today. This was, there was the Fillmore East and the Fillmore West started by that the music entrepreneur Bill Graham and and these places, or maybe they seated couple thousand and you walk in and the smell of of pot drugs is everywhere and and have the slideshow behind the bands and the be three different bands in concert of the top and being that the final act and it was his whole world just wall.

I got caught up in it went to every concert I could get to. So the who perform rock opera Tommy, there's a Led Zeppelin there multiple times and just told her multiple times was of the band. Some you know those that were into that Erin and grateful dad and and Chicago Chambers Brothers and John may resist host event Johnny Winter and everyone I could see that was like the highlight of my life going that going to these concerts get high, being immersed in this whole thing and then met these two friends. We formed a band together as I was putting a ban before then there were these guys and so every day we after school we just jam and somehow my parents were okay with this loud music upstairs. We play every single day.

We just plan jam are too young to play anyplace with a serve liquor anything like that sweetest play for friends come over and likable concert here and there. That was it. That was like get high play music get high. Listen to music get high go to rock concerts doubt that was it and I had drawn clear lines, but I remember using speed for the first time and and and snorting it and suddenly saw everything was wonderful and the world was with this incredible and I love everyone is my best friend is amazing and you know you have these highs and it's their experience for you, but I draw a line in the sand. I will never put a needle in my arm as I hung out with some friends and saw them do a site that's evil that's like bad stuff that's that's that's like inner-city troublemakers.

Manus jail never do that. Then after while. What happens if you shoot it now suddenly the world needle opens up to me and this now becomes utterly captivating shooting drugs in your system and the instant instant high agreement should LSD, whatever we could do just try to experiment with it but I had a line of this I will never shoot heroin because that is really the life I'm in. That's that's criminal.

I will never do that.

Curious what is heroin and why was it so appealing and wise and so powerful, so I'm on the bus coming home from hang out with some friends.

One day I happened to be just a largely black community and I'm the only white person on the bus and I long here hippie kid and a guy on the bus looks over Lisa's Juno I can cop, semester by semester.

I'm thinking this guy could be a narcotics agent cop who knows with my foolishness. I said it happened to be the rare rare time I had this powdered mescaline in my pocket a rare drug I said I got some on us and you know I can cop some dope, meeting heroin.

He said I've got some money to buy the satanic set up and write their tele-foolishness, idiocy 15 years old right there on the bus I take out my tinfoil.

He takes out his given the amount folded up. He gives me is how much they call it how much take all of it. I got off the bus because I'm 1/2 mile from my house and ran home excited to have 15 years, we will file the line of fire with your host Dr. Michael Brown get into the reminder file now by going 866-34-TRUTH dear again is Dr. Michael Brown on ensuring today sent into sin and God's merciful salvation be out how he shaped life for me in the years there after welcome to light a fire, Michael Brown here is my story from LSD to PhD obviously PC is not personify who answer something in my life from decades ago, but it's it's a good it's a good rhyme LSD to PhD and I first started sharing that it was shortly after getting my PhD so it it worked well, but it's quite a contrast. Some 15 years old Esther shooting heroin course, heroin is just a different drug for and when that that's ever done.

It got delivered you from it or if you're struggling now he know there is a place of deliverance and freedom is not hallucinogenic. It is this. It's not like LSD. It's all exterior up its it's a down in terms of just this how you describe the kind of this dull euphoria that your slow down you know with certain drugs, your pupils will get giant with other drugs, your pupils will get tiny. This is when they get tiny, but there is this like deep-seated peaceful euphoria and a certain physical feeling you shoot your range feeling instantly and this was this was my big problem when I first tried getting high, had no effect on me pot hash when I started getting high effectively with ops down speed. LSD, heroin all the drugs I could use that were available. I realize that my body somehow was wired in such a way that I had a high resistance drugs and that that remain the same. After I was saved in this.

It was the most was some kind like antihistamine for allergies that would knock me out, and those did knock me out.

Other things are vitamins or health things that would affect certain people certain way didn't affect me. My body to seem to have a high tolerance for this. So in my foolishness as a rebellious teenager that now became my boast of how much I could do.

Plus I was terribly reckless with experiment with how far I could go on certain drugs. So if if people were getting high and and and using the tabs of acid that is some you put on your tongue dissolve a little pill you swallow and and with one tab. They were like totally out in another world for 12 or 15 hours. I do three of the time doing five people doing one and so this is this the limit. I did five.

I also did to see how far I could go wit without overdosing for my my my my brain could take it you crazy, reckless, foolish teenager playing drums Moroccan angora rock concerts white high school schedule. Give me a lot of free time and that was it. That was the goal always going to be a drug using rockstar, I wasn't strung out I wasn't suffering terrible with crawl. I had to pay the penalty in terms of getting arrested and in point of fact, I boasted about my sin. I was proud of it. I was that foolish and deluded to boast about John Bunyan once said first we practice in then we defended then we boast about that was me boasting about it and I was a wicket angry crowd center in the midst of all of this and my problem was, though the drugs that were expensive like heroin. If Remeron not working a job now. So how light getting money for drugs and selling drugs right. I remember being in high school, like a gym class and in Osier, where new gym shorts and so and I remember having your couple hundred dollars in my pocket. You know I was like gives some drugs so the problem is if if it would cost me five dollars to get high and heroin one day the next day was 10. The next it was 15 by the fifth day it was $25. So I would switch to another drug. Contrary to what you may hear you like it to develop a full addiction to most of these drugs just doing them for five days. I was addicted to the needle.

I was addicted to the need for putting drugs in my system but I switch to less expensive drug so that became part of the problem but but my identity. I was proud I was known as drug bear and Ironman and and now I'm 16 years old, but I'm starting to pay a bit more price for my drug use but my morals are degenerating more and becoming more of a despicable person and attribute them especially to the influence of heroin in my life and the power of that drug and playing with my friends in a rock band but there it started to change a little bit like two girls from their high school.

These girls started going to Italian Pentecostal church. Their dad got saved shortly after getting married, but before they were born to praying for their salvation. Are there because their uncle was the pastor and they just started going there think the older sister drawn a little bit younger sister coming with her so my two friends in the band. They liked these girls so they go to services with them and they come home from service and maybe be like a little nine in the evening and we be sitting around getting high and end date they be playing acoustically based and and guitar acoustically and I did I be having my my little drum pad and we just be doing your jamming quietly because it was nighttime and they be telling about what they're learning in the church and it was fascinating to them, they would tell me, but yet people are demon possessed, we heard about someone was demon possessed years ago. In droves the pastor of the spirit out of us like us they come out of her mouth really wow and this again. I pray for the sick to believe in miracles or whatever the talk was but I remember distinctly them telling me is the past was teaching a lot of the book of Revelation said my kid is going to be this this is bottomless pit and is this beast with seven heads and 10 horns can come out of the pit rule the world was getting high. Literally enter telomeres like that's in the Bible. Man, like what were they smoking you like Moses on Mount Sinai. What was he smoking and joking about it left Europe, it little by little the gospel started to take hold in their lives and they started to change that will get high than one party with certain what you should heroin and things I was doing the fellows going destructive direction we had done some crazy things before we broke into a couple homes just for fun I broke into one amount is terrified that just so I could find in those days, and leaving some money we we broke into a doctor's office just on a lark to do something crazy and stole some drugs and mainlining adrenaline almost killed ourselves literally must been interest from death with that but now they're living differently and I'm thinking, is it a break up the band room to be famous and rockstar as drug users in all this.

So I finally decide in August 1971 16 that turned 60 in March of that year, a minute ago and pull them out on the pull out the silly church I go for service and then show this is stupid and argue with them and all that but the people are on 4050 people max so loving towards me. I come in there, you know, but shirttails out the little holes in your shirt is's smoking pot and get that these little things. At the end and drop it and burn a hole in your shirt, so I come in there, you know, it just they weren't loving and gracious. You guys greeted me at the door there in their 60s and they're full of vigor and loving, and I will never word that the pastor preached anything married into the service.

He said there's someone here you don't surrender like Jesus tonight. It's all over. This is your last chance something all they all think it's meager like the big center of but it wasn't me it was somebody else know the pray for this person at the altar.

Whatever. I thought these people really nice friends want to go here. They have their religion. I have modified whatever you know and what I didn't know was they started praying for me. These precious Italian Pentecostal started praying for me and decades list a few years ago was 45 years after the fact is talking to one of the young ladies use a couple years younger than us to save the pastor's oldest daughter. She said oh you we pray for all the time. We pray for your homes. We pray for your prayer ministry. Pray for church services. God is drop them in my heart. So here I am literally one day boasting about my sin in the ugliest, worst, most vile thing I did was still money for my own father, to my shame stole money for my own father and I be laying in bed at night high on some drug not able to sleep. Not once wants the buds fall asleep is crazy. My body was is different and that what I'm laying in bed late at night thinking of how cool you are so cool you deceive your own father. Rip your friends all they don't even know what you are cookies.

That's pretty sick is pretty twisted. Yeah, to be thinking like that. That's how lost I was the next night. I'm laying in bed I can't sleep I'm tormented by the exact same thoughts was always boasting about days, weeks earlier and my thoughts.

I'm now tormented by I want to get out of my body. I feel so guilty and miserable.

I don't know what it is unload conviction is out of there praying for me. I just thought that I can use some of these drugs out there keep me up at Ike I can't sleep. It's tormenting the Holy Spirit in all what I had one event I came to have real quick. Did some barbiturates one night and then hung out with some friends and they had the spouted mescaline anyone could take as much as they wanted people dipping their fingers in to the 10 times that the bold guys 10 times. Some girls will shy twice as to how much I could take this as much as you want us and nobody ever told me I'm really my speech is slurred as the barbiturates took to handle salute reach them with my fingers to so handful Springer falls they calculated. I did enough for 30 people.

I had no clue what was going on X completely lost a hallucination. My Pete met my friends put me on a bus send me home. Think I'll just make it home.

I got off the bus several stops to early walking home I thought it was over.

I thought I was and how I thought were my friends told me was true. I look completely lost touch with reality.

I finally decided is one of the morning.

I was just a block and 1/2 from my home, my parents live and but I was completely overwhelmed. I thought I was in hell I thought it was over.

I decide on a jump from the next car comes from the curb, literally, and it's now once in the morning car comes around the curve going pretty fast. There there bushes and trees. You can't really see was happening.

I jumped in front of it and shoot it stops right at me, inches from hitting my parents. A neighbor had been walking by saw me because it was gone that I lost my mom something when told my parents. They came to get me NMI also did there would be no story there would be no testimony, I would be lost forever and that was Labor Day weekend, so this is only a few weeks.

If you go to that church September 1971 by the end of that year I was radically wonderfully glorious morning God answers prayer here on the line of fire with your host Dr. Michael Brown, the voice of more cultural and spiritual revolution.

Here again is Dr. Michael Brown, so I'm sharing my personal testimony in death today how I fell deeply into sin, rebellion, all kinds of sinful drug abuse and how the Lord graciously save me so I had gone to a church service this little telling Pentecostal church August 71 for the first time a young lady who knew me from high school, the older of those two sisters who had been going there to their uncles church my friends went to spend time with them and they all got saved. I went to pull them out.

She had journaled in August 1971 Antichrist comes to church that's how evil I was that that's that's what I was known for drug bear Ironman, but worse evil human being. She journaled that the church began to pray for me, the Holy Spirit began to convict me of sin. God save me from death. God save me from foolish overdoses are up close and trying to commit suicide with the overdoses I was experimented. I love getting high.

I want to see how high can get because I had the reputation of being drug bear Ironman want to build into that reputation. That is the foolishness and destructive nature of sin. So November 12, 1971 I went back to service my friends and I hadn't been hanging out together band members we had been practicing together. I was upset with them because of their change life. I talked to one of my friends message and listen.

Then you want to go to church service with you all do it if you party with me come out will get high hat with old friends know the church service.

I can't do that by hung up the phone on stand for me in those days, hung up the phone and some was nothing I was a harsh human being to hang up was nanoseconds thought it would not dawn on me than anything that I didn't want to do a hang up but this time I felt little guilty.

I felt uncomfortable and I called them back and saw a good church with you tonight. So it went to the church service and I remember the pastor preached on don't remember much about the service but at the end of the service a given article which he did after every message. Even if it was the same people every night he did it in here needs to receive Jesus born again. However, he put it, come for an and my friend nudge me. My friend John nudge me you should go forward.

I thought you know I have at this point I found out these people been praying for and they think of this really bad center so I think I'll just go up and do it and nothing all got saved whatever and I walk out. I didn't mean anything by II didn't intend to rest my life to change.

I just thoughts whenever these old people get a big kick on now. On the other hand, my friends had been sharing the gospel with me day and night for four weeks and even months even though we were hanging out partying when we we we used to. There were still talking to me and I heard the gospel over and over and over and there were things that were penetrating and there were things that even lighting understanding that my heart was opening up to so I go up in the pastor says do you believe Jesus died for your sense and to my shock I said yes I do now was instructed.

I said it. I was shocked that I believed it. Something was happening in my heart and he said you believe that he rose from the dead know whatever their confession was yes I do and he said you promise to live from the rest your days and I said yes I do, but I didn't mean I absolutely did not mean that I had no intention of repenting of my sent the pastor took his words so I believe you and pray Teresa take a mollusk cup milk around his brother.

Pray for them and all that sold milk onto the altar. The skin around the praying Lane handsomely displaying around me and I said God, you know what I'm doing when I get home tonight I I had bought this one drug called Angel dust or PCP, which would smoke, but it was hallucinogenic was very powerful and then cocaine it just come on scene area because I was dealing drugs that we kept them in, in that the guitar case for for the guitar player and abandon or disclose that despite all the packets of cocaine that would sell II had a lot of the drug and I tried it once before but I hadn't done enough to really experience. It's all go shooting cocaine that so remember, I don't know anything. I am brand-new and God meets me in my ignorance as a dog when I go home tonight.

You know I am getting high.

You know I'm I'm smoking PCP you know I'm shooting cocaine. If you don't want me to. If you don't want me to when I get high tonight. Don't let it have any effect on so I went home and my friends came with me because a store and a customer went to the service with them so they came back with me and right in their presence. I did all the sites I smoked a large joint of PCP this stuff was so potent that you like knock a horse out.

I mean this in the relevant point. But you know what I'm saying. A few people will ensure that joint and gotten very high. I did the whole thing myself and then I did a substantial amount of cocaine because the first time it didn't really affect me so I did a much higher amount, one after the other.

This is a crazy concoction of drugs I was doing and my heart started to pound and stop stop.


Nada. No feeling whatsoever, and I realize SOMETHING is going on here so now I'm wrestling I go to church with them one day of shooting heroin.

The next back and forth, back and forth until one service friend of mine said hey just got a new batch of heroin. It's incredible, but I can't can't get high.

Ramone called the house of Shearson with you, and I think it okay it's a church not because I would get high when that smoke pot, morning, afternoon, evening, and that at that point in life. It was like I got high off of it.

When I first started I did that I was and that you heroin do whatever but it was a church standing get high that's just the double life I'm living the back and forth.

The struggle believing more and more, but same, but I love putting I if I follow Jesus. I could never put in the LaMonica. I can't say that the thought of never forever. I can't say that so Jesus and come over slick okay fine, but the problem was it was a church night while she shows up late and the people come to pick me up early and he's upstairs in my house and our band room with the drum set and all that with a needle in his arm getting high and I kick him out of the house and I don't get high myself and that was a turning point. December 17 comes shortly after that, I can't wait to get to the service. I cannot wait to get there. Remember, I have been to rock concerts for for several years running every concert imaginable that I could get to every band and I would check it and sometimes I get seats right in the front row and and I would test the volume of the band by screaming at the top of my lungs while they were playing. If I could hear myself screen. They were 11. Now I'm in the slow church for the pastor's wife is playing piano. Sometimes her brother-in-law would accompany him to Tories me jazz guitarist to be in the background will notes here and there goes it's her penpal playing hams so I'm going from Led Zeppelin, dazed and confused Jimi Hendrix foxy lady to pastor's wife playing piano there is within my heart a melody. Jesus was for Sweet and low Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine's power in the blood. I'm singing the songs we sing, maybe three and I get absolutely overwhelmed with the joy of the Lord.

It is of a different quality than anything I have ever experienced in my life in the church used to talk a lot about the joy of the Lord joy unspeakable and full of glory and I said to myself okay. Just think back to every high you've had her every joyful experience in the house, sometimes in a moment of time. Your life can pass before you, the moment of time I think of the highest drug Kia wrath of the highest music I haven't noticed different the highest high just like sports or some patriot.

This is different. The highest high just being a friend did just camaraderie with someone doing a good thing. I thought no, this is a bit different quality that this is this is something entirely other nature. This must be what they call the joy of the Lord and suddenly I got this overwhelming revelation. I saw myself decide.

I can only gospel was true. I know this I prayed for forgiveness, but I was still living in overt rebellion and back-and-forth struggling. I had this vision is clear as day in my minds eye I saw myself covered in mud and Phil from head to toe. I saw the blood of Jesus. Just wash me clean and then I saw these beautiful white robes put on and I was going back out playing in the month and right then and there I said God I will never put a needle in my arm again and I was free from that night absolutely free never went back a single time delivered by the power of God. The withdraw nothing, set free.

Two days later I was with some friends and they were smoking hash and I smoke hash with them on the bus going home still high. I realize Nona, this is sinful to how to deal with the meal. That was the stronghold. This is sinful to God on their get high again by the grace of God the Strong from that. Then I had about two weeks after that one real heavy temptation was with people as opportunity get high and then I ran out of literally ran out of just got up II got a get out of this and and and I was it by the grace of God and when my one night when I first went to church service. You know it in after after getting serious with the Lord, you know early on but that's house church that so I got saved tonight. He just said hallelujah. Noses Jewish way of joking the right, but when he saw the change in my life when he saw the profound change is here. My mom knew that at one point they found out from some close no shooting heroin. They got really concerned he wasn't concerned about smoking pot over my that's what one-day pots can be legal smoke pot doing the house that that's how liberal he was back then. But now is concerned about more drugs and then so I convinced myself shooting heroin and so on.

But I remember him coming to me said, these are your pothead useful pot night you look at you and he was upset and and ill and and they crackdown and friends coming over in certain things and and he knew I stole money from him but now he saw the profound change in my life and when he asked me point-blank automatic confessed to him.

Yes, I stole the money which he knew it forgiven me amazingly, but knew it just a Michael Kennedy when you come to me, that's house my dad you can imagine, but I was so changed he sought to my mom was thrilled but that he was the more religious between the two of them and he said Mike on ledger of drugs but reduce we will believe in us want to talk to local rabbi's. Of course this rabbi was about 11 years old and the fresh out of Jewish theological seminary had taken over from the previous rabbi and and and that would've been a rabbi after the one that permission is the third one.

Synagogue knows it's just his earlier and I meet this little rabbi.

He immediately friends me and that also becomes number five Expo light a fire with your host Dr. Michael Brown of your voice and more cultural and spiritual revolution.

Here again is Dr. Michael Brown they think I'd be totally honest with you I feel the joy of the Lord is upstream a test with as I'm getting in-depth and sharing God's mercy. I have such a feeling of joy and grace and rehearsing the goodness of God, and maybe you're praying for love, and it's been away from the Lord, you know the fellow that helped lead me to Jesus that met my best friend. Use the bass player in our band were real close with a guitar play. The three of us were inseparable back then the two of them got saved that I got saved and then I was the best man and my friend John's wedding and he was the best man at my wedding. After several years he fell away and he was away from the Lord for over 40 years and often God would bring them to the mind.

I pray sometimes with tears.

Then, a few years back we started to get in contact after long, long periods of time in many years with no contact and then be a few years between any contact at all got back in contact more God began dealing with him. Men were talking said hey Mike I'm starting to doubt my doubts, and overprocessed time all spent about two years back I got hold of him and he is in love with Jesus again reading the word just has this deep sense of one of the preach the gospel. Everyone is a love when you're praying for that's fallen away. Have have faith, God's faithful God can bring that person to the end of himself within herself and bring them back or maybe 11 is never been saved, the same one that dramatically save me can save that love. Or maybe you're where I was. I was a proud sinner, I thought I was doing great but I was hell bound and miserably lost. Maybe that's your few truly cry out to God, have to know you God have determined (I need forgiveness.

I believe Jesus died for believe euros for that I want to live in life. If you cry out to him, he will meet you if you do that contact us through the website asked Dr. SK dear and we love to point you in the right direction to grow and move forward. So my dad sets up a meeting for me to meet with the local rabbi and it was January 24 of 1972, so I'm still at 17 years old. It but that night at prayer meeting for the first time I began to speak in tongues as Pentecostal church full of the spirit speaking tongue so we got celebrate so showed up at the synagogue and I and my dad. The rabbi waiting there until rabbi. Look, I'm so sorry but I can't tonight. I was baptized in the Holy Ghost spoken talks Easter have a sister muscle top is what he says.

And so we went on had pizza then set up a meeting afterwards and he and I become friends and and we begin to have these in-depth conversation. Remember I'm new but I'm really worried a lot growing NEP's brilliant guy, of course, knows the Bible Bible fluently and is a reading New Testament to see what he sees the errors in the problems there and things that were talking regularly and and he took a real interest in me a real personal interest we've admitted touching recent years, always. Decades later, sees now is late 70s and and I'm never talking one day and he was challenging about the Hebrew said Maxwell looked in the back of Strong's concordance and a straw. He said if you don't know Hebrew.

I silicone a littler Hebrew. In the meantime I'm working on stressing her as a member said to me, if it is meantime she meantime, if you don't know Hebrew doesn't mean a thing. Having you teach us the Old Testament says so. We continue our dialogue back and forth very respectful very gracious towards me and spend time with them and about other issues at end Betty. We also Need to bring them to another rep because the synagogue rose permits for was a conservative synagogue, which is not just when conservative politically assist conservative branch of Judaism is very wishy-washy on a given Sabbath.

You might not even have 10 men for the minimum requirement for it for the minyan to have a formal prayer service, but the high holy days they had to build an annex that seated on the maybe 400 people because we flock there on the high holy days, and that's when you raise the money and membership for the rest of the year. The weekly service of muscle, but you know and miss permits for you have more people's family would show, so she realized even though she was very sincere, religiously, intellectually, GE question, with the most with the Pentateuch, and various other things and know that was his educational study, so he couldn't be an Orthodox Jew intellectually, but is hard information. He was an enemy said to me one day he said look, Michael. The problem is that that you're a more pious individual that I was, if we were both Buddhists.

You would be more pious Buddhist that I was. He said you need to meet. Jews were just as pious as you accept your note. This point I was spending between six and seven hours every day in the word prayer memorizing 20 versus a day would take me out to read the Bible two hours praying at least three hours now. I just finished the season of doing that every day for six months now. It's August 1973 of 18 years old, but I'm working a job now working a job and and and might my schedules limit. I don't have the six or seven hours, but had had a good immersion for it for year and 1/2 in the Lord and in the word prayer and read the King James Bible through almost 5 times the part number is 24,000 versus so this rabbi brings me to meet ultra-Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn this yet. I've never met Jews like my perception was that ultra-Orthodox Jews are the Orthodox Jews who lived in the town. Your BIOS there, crazy. Because the dietary laws the print early every morning. The growing up. That's what I thought there like the crazy ones.

There's even a joke.

It was a Jewish joke that that the Orthodox are crazy conservative or hazy utilization where the student and the reform most liberal are lazy. I remember talking is my Jewish friends about the Orthodox Jews are you there, crazy as they really believed the traditions we were the outliers not believing they were the ones really believe the traditions I saw Judaism was what I experienced in my synagogue. This wishy-washy, dead religion was in the church the people devotedly pray this in praise the Lord when you met them shook hands. So now this rabbi takes me to meet these ultra-Orthodox Jews and broke from the above, except the seated Jews from the Bob Trussell's Kabbalah and I remember when my rabbi meets one of them said how you doing this. Thank God.

Thank God good long beard. The black coat head hat know that I'm thinking thank God said thank God that's like we do. Our church and there are just really catlike that while these religious Jews.

These were the real McCoy. So to say. So the rabbi reason with them for several hours and they really like because I was passionate.

Sincerely, the Bible, but no Hebrew little Hebrew learned my bar mitzvahed losses for.and their child was very nice, very gracious and look at those English translations hello all, listen to the Heber Gluck were not lying to the discussion letter for letter. So now I feel like a little kindergarten child and and even though some of the answers they gave me, in retrospect were weak at that moment they hit me hard.

They really threw me and and before that my rabbi friend had brought me to peek in the synagogue were both were yarmulkes and we go in there and and his men, you know, and in their long beards and prayer shawls and the praying and reading from the Hebrew and felt like this like the science went back to Moses day in should not be doing that this would Jewish people do him in the church and in her written drama say they will have a little box in front of yarmulkes considered on right when you walked in bear headed there's no boxing for the Oregon service and took the dog off one home.

The rabbi kept his Argosy was religious. We didn't. So there. When confronted with all this and it shook me and and it raised questions. I knew that Jesus change my life. I knew that I knew that that God works in my life in very real ways. I knew I experienced real fellowship with him in prayer and worship. I couldn't deny that I can answer their questions, but messianic prophecy about other things like that and about Jews in the Torah, and so on and in their answers really screwed me in so many ways were as we look at the losses terrible burden thank all run under the law. There like what a gift. What a gift from God that we get to keep all the commandments of I just wonder I'm in a time of spiritual or mountain peaks and valleys of Mike yeah that's what we talk about sense of similar tubes of spiritual experience. So on and that is what got me on my journey singer have to study II know that Jesus change my life but but what if I'm wrong in my beliefs. What if this thing is not true.

So I determined I have to fall the truth wherever it leads.

No, initially, and start living here in college so don't have modern Hebrew so III's the rabbi with different biblical. He recommends very technical grammar so I taught myself biblical Hebrew through that grammar will take in modern Hebrew classes and and I immersed myself in learning Hebron and the surrounding languages and and I met with these rabbis again spent hours and hours with an even split Yom Kippur, David Tolman directly with them and just to be in the midst of things begin synagogue services, praying with them and all day and all night and that kind of thing.

And the more I dove in, the more I study the more I got on my face and said dog whoever's right if these rabbis are right that then I'll take the reproach of being wrong about Jesus and Jesus is true, then I'll take the reproach of the Jewish community rejected. I just have to follow your truth as a loyal Jew more Doug more study the more I found some side of truth, the more I found confirmation for what I believe I did that always regrets school through a PhD intellectual challenges posed by the professors and the intellectual challenges posed by Old Testament studies in an constant debate and dialogue with the Jewish community to bring dollars goes on to this day, literally, to this day by email and in private interaction. My determination is been done and all you whatever the cost. Whatever the consequence, whether by life or by death. In the fall you in your truth. I'm so pleased to share almost 50 years now. In the war early December next 50 years.

I am so thrilled to share that I know have known for decades with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind with all my being the Jesus shoe's Messiah and Lord will return one day set up asking. I encourage to pursue God pursue the truth in prayer and study in an instance, whoever you are, don't agree with Sagar just wanted to know the truth. If you believe there just want to help you see it goddess of what is good cause for the follow.

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