PSALM 107 - My Life

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Let's bring the living water to the world. This is Stu Epperson from the Truth Talk Podcast, connecting current events, pop culture, and theology. And we're so grateful for you that you've chosen the Truth Podcast Network.

It's about to start in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, and please share it around with all your friends. Thanks for listening, and thanks for choosing the Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network. The resurrection power of Jesus Christ is absolute, transforming and restoring lives, healing hurt, and making all things new. This power set Michael Bowen free from the captivity, darkness, and hell of addiction, and delivered him back to God. This is Jesus Breaks the Chains. Hello, and thank you for tuning into this podcast, which is part of the Jesus Breaks the Chains series on Truth Network. I'm evangelist Michael Bowen, and I pray that the Lord blesses you greatly, and you receive this word in love and in truth.

This podcast is titled Psalm 107, The Story of My Life. I was released from prison in 2014, and as I was walking through the gates, leaving that prison, a free man out into the world, as I was walking out of those gates, I told myself that I was going to come back to this very same prison and preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and share my testimony with the men in prison who were just like me. In 2017, I came back to that very same prison, the Travis Unit in Austin, Texas, and I began preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ on a weekly basis every Thursday night.

It was such an incredible time that I had in that prison. I preached in that same room that I laid on my face three years earlier and surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. The power of God moved mightily in those services, and many men's lives were changed forever because they too believed God's word and surrendered their lives to Jesus Christ, just as I had done when I was there. One man in particular, his name is Chris Paisinski, really grabbed a hold of the gospel and never let go. He was released from prison, and he too said to himself that he would be back in prison one day preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ to men just like him.

In this podcast, Chris will be giving his testimony in a church and telling the people how good God was and how God changed his life and has set him free from addiction and habitual incarceration forever. You know, when I was preaching to Chris, I would open up many of the services in that prison with Psalm 107. Later, Chris told me, and he speaks about this when sharing his testimony, that he identifies with this Psalm, and he said to me that Psalm 107 was the story of his life. And in Psalm 107, it begins like this, give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story. Those He redeemed from the hand of the foe, those He gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south. So right now, I want you to let Chris, the redeemed of the Lord, tell his story to you.

I want to become the enemy by the blood of the lamb and by the word of our testimony, and that's what I'm going to share with you tonight. So I grew up in Clyde, Texas, where I went to high school. When I was 10 years old, my mother was in abusive marriage. My stepdad drank a lot. It was abusive physically and mentally.

As bad as I wanted her to get away from him, she did for a long time, and I hadn't seen her being treated this way. So she and my grandparents agreed that I would go live with them in Clyde. My grandparents were godly people who raised me and taught me good morals. We attended church regularly at First Baptist Church, and I accepted Jesus Christ and got baptized at age 11. I went to all the vacation Bible schools, all the church camps, and all that stuff every summer until I got into high school.

I never really rebelled against my grandparents. I was just pretty much a normal kid, you know, never giving me more problems than any normal ones, I guess. Then when I was 14, I began drinking with some friends and partying on a regular basis every weekend. Soon I was smoking pot, which turned into a daily habit.

I quit school halfway through my senior year and moved to Abilene. I began to meet people in the drug world who dealt in other things other than marijuana, and soon I was doing cocaine and meth. I met my son's mother at age 18 and tried to hide my drug use from her, which caused all kinds of problems.

She and I smoked pot together, but she was just really against anything stronger than that. I was hanging out in bars and getting into trouble and involved in my drinking, and soon after I got in trouble involving my other drug use, I broke into a building which had a safe in it that I wanted to get that money out of, and I got caught. I was placed on probation, and of course I wouldn't abide by their rules or anything they had me do, and eventually was sentenced to five years in prison. Of course, my son wasn't even a year old at that time, and I missed out on the next year or so of his life. I was released on parole, and I tried to stay clean, but I went back to getting high again, and two years later my parole was revoked, and I went back to prison.

This time for almost three years, but that wasn't the last time. My son's mother filed for divorce while I was in jail, and I didn't blame her. I wasn't a good father or a good husband. I let my addiction take me away from them. I was selfish. I didn't consider their place in my life, and I didn't consider my place in their life. See, I was going to do what I wanted to do, no matter the consequences.

That's how, you know, that's how Dixon works, you know. We're going to do what we're going to do, and, you know, whatever the consequences. So, my addiction led to criminal behavior where I could have accumulated nine felony convictions. I went back to prison four other times after that, forgery and counterfeiting. Every time I was released, I tried to stay clean, but I failed miserably. I just couldn't, couldn't quit doing drugs. I mean, I couldn't do it.

I tried. See, I was a drug addict for 25 years of my life, and my addiction took me to some dark, dark places, places that I'm not going to mention right here. My son's 29 years old now. My criminal lifestyle and drug abuse caused me to miss out on much of his life. In the last 29 years, I've been to prison six times, and the first five times after release from prison, I thought I could stay clean and stay out for drugs on my own, and falling back and overweight. But each time proved me wrong, and I eventually ended up using it again, and falling back into the old habits, and soon on my way back to prison. You see, five times I had the chance to live a clean and sober life, and five times I failed because I thought I was in control of my life. I failed because the enemy still had me, still had me chained to my addiction, and he had his hooks in me deep. The last time I went to prison, I was sitting in the county jail at 43 years old, wondering where I went wrong in my life.

And wondering what it's going to take for me to change it. Psalms 107 10 through 16 is the story of my life. Verses 10 through 12 says, Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death, found in affliction and irons, because they rebelled against the words of God, and despised the counsel of the Most High. Therefore he brought down their heart with labor, and they fell down, and there was none to help. I was sitting in this darkness, and I had been for a long, long time. 25 years of my life in that darkness. Now as I sat in the county jail waiting to go to prison again, I reflected on some of the times that I went to church with my grandparents as a child.

It occurred to me that there was one thing that I hadn't tried. So I kneeled down beside my bunk, I bowed my head, and I began to pray. Verses 13 through 16 of Psalm 107 says, Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble. He saved them out of their distresses. He brought them out of darkness in the shadow of death. He broke their chains in pieces. All that he would give thanks to the Lord for his goodness. And for his wonderful works to the children of men, for he's broken the gauge of our affront, and cut the bars of iron in two. Hallelujah.

Come on somebody. Listen, I cried out to God from that jail cell, and I told him I hated my life. I hated my addiction. I hated what I'd become.

I hated the hurt that it caused my family. I hated going to prison, and I didn't know what to do to change it. And I told God I didn't want to be a drug addict anymore, and I'm in it. I told God I didn't know what to do to change it, and that I needed his help. And I asked him to take my addiction from me, and that I would surrender my life to him and serve him for the rest of the days of my life. See, I accepted Jesus when I was younger, but I hadn't really surrendered my life to him until now.

You know, that's what it's about, surrender, total complete surrender. Now by the time I said amen and lifted my head, I was crying big fat tears. Look, I bet I cried for about 15 or 20 minutes sitting there kneeling beside my bum. I think I poured my spirit out upon the floor and just emptied it.

You know what I mean? I cried out to God from the darkness while I was still chained and bound to my addiction, and he saved me from my distress. When I said amen, I opened my eyes and I heard the chains break, and I felt the weight fall off of my shoulders. And I knew right then, I knew that I had been delivered.

I mean, right then you just know. Look, at that time I was facing three criminal charges that could have added up to 40 years in prison, had I tried to do it my way. But these judges were, I tell you, these judges were getting tired of seeing me in their courtrooms, but I surrendered that to the Lord too. And he saw fit to reduce my sentence and send me to Travis State Jail where I had the opportunity to build a relationship with him and be fed with spiritual food with the help of some really good prison ministries. You see, I utilized that in that time in prison to study the Word of God and to let him begin to change my way of thinking.

I mean, it was no, it's our thinking that gets us into trouble, right? Romans 12 2 tells us to not be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewal of our minds. And as I read more of God's Word, I began to be aware of my language, the conversations I engaged in, and the people I associated with. When a person goes to prison is placed in an environment where nobody knows each other, they naturally engage in conversation of what they all have in common.

And usually that's dealing drugs, doing drugs, the criminal activity that got them there, and all that stuff, and how they can manipulate the system so they won't get caught next time. I didn't want to glorify God, or glorify the drug use in the things I was doing apart from God. Romans 8 6 says to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. See, I started focusing my thoughts more on God and less on the things that got me incarcerated. I knew the Word of God was transforming my mind and changing my way of thinking.

I knew the Word of God was transforming my mind and changing my way of thinking as I began to build a relationship with Him. See, I was released from prison on March 22, 2018. I have a new life now, a better life, a life in Jesus Christ. I am free from addiction. I don't have the desire to get high.

I don't even think I don't even think about getting high. I do not have the struggle now that I used to have all the previous times when I was released from prison. You see, Jesus took that struggle away from me. He broke my chains of addiction, and He cut the prison bars of iron in two. You see, the enemy tells us that we'll always be drug addicts, and that is a lie.

Okay? The moment we accept Jesus and believe upon His salvation, we receive the Holy Spirit who lives in us and bears witness with our spirit that we're children of God. Our identity changes. So when we pray the Lord's Prayer, we begin with our Father. It takes on a whole new meaning in our lives, and it gives us a whole new identity.

You see, Jesus tells us the truth of who we are, that we are children of God. We're no longer drug addicts. Hallelujah. John 8, 3, and 6 says, if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

Come on, brother. You see, I live a clean and sober life now, and the love of God fills me with so much peace and joy that I've never had before. The Lord has restored my family back to me. And He's building a relationship between me and my son and with my beautiful grandkids and all my nieces and nephews, all my kids, man.

It's awesome. When I was released from prison, I'm certain that my friends and family had doubts about how long my freedom would last given my history of incarceration. I told everyone I'd given my life to Jesus and that I was a new man. Everyone seemed happy when I told them that, but I'm sure they wondered how long it'd be before I gave up on God and gave back into drugs.

And I had given them every reason to feel that way. Well, it's four years later, and I will say that I've been holding on to the Lord and staying clean and sober. I can honestly say that I don't get high anymore, and that statement would have been a lie over six years ago. See, I found a church home, and I go to church every Sunday to worship the Lord and give Him praise for delivering me from my addiction.

Every time. Every day I wake up to thank God for delivering me. Also to receive His word. You see, the preachers in prison taught us that it's important to get plugged into a church as soon as we get released, and that's what we're doing.

As soon as we get released, and that's the first thing I did. I was out on a Thursday, and I was in church on Sunday. I mean, let me tell you. See, God tells us faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God, and I know that it's important to stay connected to God, because if I don't, it's going to be easy for me to slide back into addiction. Staying connected and being obedient to His word has given me a chance to bless, has given Him the chance to bless me in so many ways. You see, God has restored a relationship with me and my son, a relationship that is still in the process of building.

I've missed out on much of my son's life by me going to prison, and he had some animosity towards me for that, and I don't blame him. But we went to a men's retreat one weekend shortly after I got out of prison, and we laid our cards out on the table, so to speak, and poured out our feelings to each other and to God. There was forgiveness, and with forgiveness came healing, and with healing came a bond and restoration and love between me and my son. You see, I can't make up for lost time, but God can build a future between us. We just have to be open with each other and open with God and let Him do that work, and as you know, and heal us and begin that healing process. Hey, my son got married last week, and I thank God for letting me be a part of that wedding, for being there, to be there for him, you know, and I think I thought about it, and I just praise God that He's placed me in this position in my life, and me and my son now, because if I had still been in my addiction, I may have missed it.

One of the most important events in his life, I could have missed it, you know. I have a good job now, and I have found favor with my employers. It's a small business based on family values, and we are family, and when I say favor, let me tell you about some favor. I just got through telling y'all I went to prison for printing fake checks, counterfeiting money, credit card abuse, all that other old stuff.

Look, I have a supervisor position in my job now, and my employers give me a company credit card. They give me signed blank checks on occasion to go buy stuff we need. You know, how's that favor and trust, you know what I mean?

Six years ago, nobody's gonna give me a blank check for nothing. See, God's placing me in a position of trust with my employers, where we become family to each other as well, and I'm blessed to be where I'm at with these guys. I also work with a brother in Christ who was an addict before he surrendered his life to God, and we encourage each other, we minister to each other, and we bury each other's burdens from time to time. We also witness to the men who work with us, so God's placing me in a position of trust with my own. We also witness to the men who work with us, so God's placing me in a pretty good position. I also have a wife now.

She's right here on the front row. We've been married for over two years now, and in my addiction I was bound by sexual immorality with women who I wasn't married to. You see, I never liked to be alone, so when a relationship fell apart with a girlfriend I had at the time, it wouldn't be long for I found another girl to fill the gap. I was selfish, and my selfishness in the drugs played a large part in destroying those relationships. I understand now that I was trying to fill a void in my life, fill a void that only Jesus could fill, and it wasn't until I gave my life to the Lord that he filled that void. Jesus knew that I wanted a woman who would be with me the rest of the days on this earth, but he also wanted me to make a place for him in my life too. When I did that, he filled that void with himself, and he gave me a wife. He gave me a wife. My wife and I went to high school together, but we never really dated.

We didn't see each other after high school until almost three years ago. He brought us together, and we just had this comfortability between us, and it wasn't long before I fell in love with her and asked for marriage. We have a godly relationship. We communicate with each other. We value each other. We respect each other.

We build each other up instead of tearing each other down. We make decisions together with God's guidance, of course. We worship the Lord together. We pray together. We minister together, and we hold each other accountable. She holds me more accountable than I do her. I'm the one that needs it most of the time. You see, the Lord had to remove some things in my life before he could bless me with a wife. I had to put him first.

I had to let the Holy Spirit have his way in me in order to have a successful marriage, and I believe our marriage is and will continue to be successful. See, because I'm not who I used to be, I had to put away the selfishness that once consumed me and the addiction that consumed me. Ooh, the selfishness. See, I'm the new creation in Jesus and Jesus Christ. I have discovered that I have to walk out my faith on a daily basis. How many of you know it's on a daily basis?

Right? I do have struggles, not with drugs, but other struggles. You know, life struggles, but I get through them a lot easier now than I have in the past because the Lord gives me strength to get through them, and he has given me a helper, my wife, for encouragement, support, and wisdom.

Proverbs 18 22 says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Since I've been walking with the Lord, he has opened doors and made opportunities for me to minister to others, especially my family. My kids and my nieces and nephews call me for advice now, where before there'd be no way they'd seen guidance from me when I was strung out on drugs. See, God made a change in me that others see, and they find encouragement. Friends of mine who were in their addiction with me see what God has done in my life, and they, too, find encouragement. See, I try to minister to all my friends and family, and when they see with that, and when they see that God, what God has delivered me from, they see hope.

They see the light of Jesus Christ in me, and if God can deliver me, he can deliver anybody. Like I said, it's a daily process walking with God, and a lot of transformation is taking place in my life. See, but God has to deal with me one issue at a time. So let me tell you something, 43 years of bad habits don't just fall off overnight. You know, it's a process. But it gets easier when I yield to God and let him transform me in my spirit, and I have to do my part to be obedient and to repent from sin.

But when I yield to God and his word, my mind starts to think differently. I used to lie. I used to steal. I used to cheat. I used to cuss. Now I feel guilty even if I think about telling a lie.

I don't have to steal because God's blessed me with all I need. I don't cheat to get high anymore because I'm not an addict. Cussing is still the baby awareness for me. I'm trying to know that. But I'm conscious of it. I'm aware of it. You know, the foul words that once part of my normal vocabulary sound trashy and uneducated now. And I do slip up on occasion.

Let me tell you. And my wife holds me accountable. But my mind is being renewed, and I've discovered that when I think differently, I respond differently to offenses that would have offended me in the past. Regretful words or actions made in anger, selfishness, and pride. You see, when I have the mind of Christ, I don't get offended by things anymore. When I have the mind of Christ, I don't say hurtful words to someone anymore. It was in my nature to say hurtful things when somebody hurt me in the past. And if they did me wrong, I'd do you wrong. I want you to feel the same way I did. You know, that's not right. So God has taught me to put others first.

I should have had these double-spaced, Vernetti. You were right. God has taught me to put others first instead of myself. See, when I have the mind of Christ, he helps me to humble myself and to serve others. I used to have the mind of Christopher, and I still do sometimes. But God is dealing with me on that. I thank the Lord for his patience and strength, because I am hard to deal with.

But God is teaching me to see others through his eyes. Since my release from prison in 2018, I've gone back to prison several times. I get to go back to prison next month. Does that sound shocking, after what I just told you, that I've been delivered? You see, about two and a half years ago, I was approved by TDC to go back into the prisons and minister to those men and women who were sitting in that same place where I was at.

You see, I get to go back in there and preach the word of God to them, preach the gospel, and show them, share my testimony with them, and show them that there is life after prison, there is life after addiction, that with Jesus Christ, they don't have to live that life anymore. He's our Redeemer. He's our Deliverer.

He's our training breaker. If he can do it for me, he can do it for you. Hallelujah. If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. Hallelujah.

I get a little fired up about this deliverance. See, the Bible is full of stories of broken people that uses God for his purpose. He uses the foolish things in this world to confound the wise, and it's only by his power and his mercy and his grace that I can stand here today and share this with you what he has done in my life. You see, while I was bound in my afflictions, I cried out to God, and he saved me from my distresses, and I'm gonna tell you something. I know that Jesus Christ reached his hand down into that darkness and grabbed me by my hand and pulled me up in his precious life.

You know how I know this? Because I'm still holding his hand, and I ain't never gonna let it go. Thank you, Jesus. What an incredible testimony and preaching of God's Word by my friend and brother, Chris Pizenski. We are so blessed to be able to hear this wonderful story about how God changed his life when Chris surrendered it to him. You know, in the testimony and what we just listened to, Chris was talking about Psalm 107, and he read a little bit from it, and he said that it's the story of his life. Well, I, too, believe that Psalm 107 is the story of my life and I identify with it. And so I'm gonna end this podcast with Psalm 107, the very last two last verses of it, or the very last verse of Psalm 107.

It goes like this. Let the one who is wise heed these things and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord. So I say to you, and I say this to myself, I say this to all of us, let us all be wise and understand the goodness of God and how God will change your life. And I'm just telling you right now that if Jesus did it for Chris and he did it for me, he will also do it for you.

God is no respecter of person. He wishes all to be saved. He wishes all to be delivered from sin, addiction, habitual incarceration, or anything that is separating you from your purpose in God, separating you from the love of Jesus Christ, separating you from your salvation. I just want to tell you I love you all and I pray that you, too, can find the freedom that Chris and I have found in Jesus Christ. Just like Chris, God brought me out of darkness and broke away my chains. Just like it says in Psalm 107 that he broke the iron bars in two. I'm just telling you, Jesus breaks the chains. And I pray that you let him break yours today. This is the greatest life I have ever lived.

Living my life in Jesus Christ is his fearless disciple. God bless you all. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Thank you for listening. For more information on Michael Bowen's ministry, Sons and Daughters of Thunder, visit sonsanddaughtersoffunder.org. And remember, there is no addiction in Jesus Christ. Jesus breaks the chains.