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Connecting in the Busy: David & Meg Robbins

Family Life Today / Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine
The Truth Network Radio
June 17, 2024 5:15 am

Connecting in the Busy: David & Meg Robbins

Family Life Today / Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine

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June 17, 2024 5:15 am

Is your schedule a never-ending stream of lists and calendar invites? Finding time to reconnect with spouse can feel like a challenge. David and Meg Robbins share their takeaways from the Love Like You Mean It cruise.

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No marriage is static. We're all either drifting towards isolation or intentionally moving towards oneness with each other. Sometimes there can be things that happen that are kind of like this little wedge and other things happen and kind of like hammer that wedge and kind of make the space between us grow if we're not careful.

And that's what happens when we start to drift apart from one another. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today. So today we're going to listen to a talk that was given on the Love Like You Mean It cruise.

By our president, David and Meg Robbins. Well, here's the thing. When I think of Love Like You Mean It, I think of the Beach Boys, you know? So I sort of came up with a song that we could sort of sing. Let's go cruisin' now.

Everybody's cruisin' now. Come on the Love Like You Mean It cruise with me. Come on the Love Like You Mean It cruise with me.

All right. That's all I'm going to say about that. Well, I just want you to know, if you haven't signed up for 2025, the Love Like You Mean It cruise, do it.

Because we have, listen to this part, SEAS, S-E-A-S, sees the savings sale June 10th through the 25th. Is that what we're doing? Yes. You didn't even know what to do with my great song, did you? No, I just kind of ignored it and kept going. All we got to say is, how many times have we been on this cruise? A lot. I bet you 10 times.

Maybe. And usually we're speakers on this cruise, but I'm just telling you, if you've never done this, you got to do it this year. You do. You don't want to just hear these on Family Life Today, these talks. They're great talks. And they're every night on the cruise, and there's breakout talks during the day, and there's ports of call, and there's musicians and comedians and illusionists, and a lot of great, great people.

It's really fun. It's really a great week to not only get a vacation, but to get a vacation with a purpose, because you're pouring into your marriage. And so today we get to hear one of the talks that was given by our president, David, and his wife, Meg.

Actually, it was the first night, and they called it More Than Cruise Control. I really like this talk. I've heard it before, and you're going to love it. And I think Meg has a great illustration in the beginning that everybody's going to relate to. So we moved to Orlando about four years ago, and one of the things we realized really quickly is that we've never lived this close to the ocean or the beach, and we love going to the beach. We pile all our stuff and drive about an hour, spend a day there, but we also know that our kids love to boogie board. And if we get there without those, it's kind of a sad, disappointing day at the beach, because they can get in the ocean and just ride the waves for hours, truly, and just have a blast. But what happens every time, it doesn't matter if it's like a calm, kind of chill day or if it's super windy or a storm's coming. What happens pretty much every time is that they're riding the waves and they're riding the waves, and we kind of look up and we're like, oh, my goodness, they are way over there. And we're going over here and we're like yelling their names, telling them, you got to get out of the water, get back on the sand. Look, our umbrella is way over here.

Walk all the way back down and then you can get back in and start over. But pay attention because the water is taking you all the way over there. And truly, our marriage is the same way. The currents of life are going to pull us away from each other. Life is hard.

It's challenging. There are also joyful moments, but the constant currents of life pull us apart. And we all need moments where we get out of the water, out of the craziness of the currents of life and get on solid ground to kind of reconnect with the Lord, reconnect with one another. Now, I realize that we all just got on a boat and it's kind of shaky right now as the engine is revving up and we're going out on water.

But stick with the analogy for now. This is your solid ground moment, even though we're on a boat. OK, so as we kick off this first night, we want to share just a few best practices and things that as we've gone on a few of these love like you mean it cruises, not as much as some of you in this room that we've learned and that we want to encourage you with. And the verse we've been praying that we've for you and over you and for everybody on this cruise is Zephaniah 3 17. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will quiet you by his love and he will exalt over you with loud singing. And this has brought two ways to mind that we want to encourage you this evening as we start this week. And one is that you would delight, that you would delight in each other and delight in the Lord, that you would experience the Lord rejoicing over you and over your marriage.

And you would imitate the Lord and rejoice over your spouse with gladness in him. Justin Whitmore Early says it this way. He says, love is not something you stop practicing just because you stop feeling it.

Love is something you finally feel because you keep practicing. And here's a few ways you can practice delighting in each other this week. And the first thing that we found to be so helpful is just to remember it's not that hard, but just be playful and just delight in the fun that you can have together. Take moments, do things that are maybe push you a little bit beyond what you normally would do and have fun, laugh together. Actually, about a year ago, we went on a marriage retreat. It was for ministry leaders. But they had something planned every day for us that was most of us had not ever done before.

It was just a little bit different. And at some point we were talking and David just looks at me. He's like, man, this is so fun. Life is so serious. We are so serious sometimes that we forget to just have fun and do some of the things that we did, like when we were dating and first married and we just needed to get back to those things. So we would say our souls need it. Laugh a lot.

Choose things to do that are fun and push you out of your comfort zone. Yeah. Another way to delight in one another this week is to create space for one another.

That sounds simple. And you're together. You're like, hey, we're together all week. But one of the things we learned the hard way on our very first Love Like You Mean It cruise was the first cruise I'd ever been on.

It was twenty eighteen. And we learned the hard way during the day. You can't make it to every event and every breakout. It won't be good for you.

You could end up squeezing out time together because you're just on the go trying to do everything else. And my personality is like, let's go, go, go. Here we go. All of it. Let's get our money's worth.

Come on. And create space by slowing down. Look at the few things you want to make sure you go to. Go stand in line for those few things.

Those will be worth it. You stumble into something else. Hey, let's try it out. Sure, that's good. But zero in on those few things and delight in each other and having space just.

All right. We just get to enjoy one another. The fact is, many of us have not been on cruise control. Many of us have been going warp speed and to come into a week like this and to try to downshift and take down the adrenaline and the things we're consumed of. Like all of us right now, like it is hard to gear down and just settle in and create space genuinely, not just physically present, but genuinely space to delight into one another. As Pete Scazaro says, you can't go warp speed without warping your soul. And you get this week this opportunity to enjoy creating space together.

We're going to seek to really do this. Sometimes you're going to need it because kids or whatever stage of life you're in, an older parent that you may need to be checked on. But at times, leave the phone back in the room or set it aside all together. Sherry Turkle in her book Alone Together had some fascinating research.

She said this. Studies of conversations, both in laboratory and in natural settings, show that when two people are talking, the mere presence of the phone on a table between them or in the periphery of their vision changes both what they talk about and the degree of connection they feel. Subconsciously, people keep the conversation on topics they don't mind being interrupted with. Even a silent phone disconnects us.

Isn't that crazy? But yet I ever since reading that quote, kind of watch myself like that is so true. Realize that take moments forward and just as it gets surfacing, go there and enjoy the space together. Looking back at Zephaniah 3.17, when we've been praying that God would quiet us with His love and exalt over us with singing, we just think we've been thinking of depth and we just would say, look for ways to go deeper together.

This is a choice that we have to make. You know, there's certainly going deeper with the Lord, but when you think about going deeper with one another, you really have to choose to let each other in. And I would say, you know, those things that are stirring in your heart, whether that's sitting in here in the evenings or maybe just when you're sitting looking at the ocean and you're thinking of something, it could be something that has to do with your relationship with the Lord or your character or something in your marriage.

I would say choose to take the extra step and tell your spouse what you're thinking, what you're processing and what keeps kind of bubbling up. I think over this past year, I've kind of realized that there are times when those kind of things are happening and maybe my emotions are kind of coming alive. I have a friend who likes to say my eyes are getting leaky and sometimes I will like kind of brush those away and kind of hide that from David. And I realized it and it's just like, man, I'm kind of like putting the lid on my emotions in front of you and to you. And I hate that and it was really frustrating at times, but even just talking about that and telling him that was a way for me to take the lid off and let him in and say, hey, I don't know why, but you know, this is happening.

And just things like that. I think it's easy to think it's, you know, this is just for me and I'm going to process this, but we all long to be known and to be loved so deeply. And we give each other the opportunity to respond when we let each other know. And David knows me really well.

And a lot of times he picks up on that and is like, hey, you seem a little off, but he can't read my mind and he can't read my heart. And we really believe that this week there is an amazing lineup of speakers and artists and so many things that are going to be awesome. But we believe that the real magic is going to come from the conversations that you have about those things and about the things that you hear. And so we would just say, take a moment to just sit a little longer in the things that kind of stir up and choose to take the lid off and share. This is Family Life Today and we are listening to a portion of a talk that David and Meg Robbins, our president of Family Life, gave on the Love Like You Mean It cruise this past February. I think what they shared was just super helpful, don't you?

And relatable. And there's more to come. So we're going to go right back. Oh, by the way, let me say this. If you want to get on the cruise next year, go to familylifetoday.com. Sign up for Love Like You Mean It cruise and join us.

Let's go back to David and Meg. One other thing on depth, we would say, and it's one of the reasons we're here, is that go to the depth places that God is drawing you into. You personally, in your relationship with the Lord, it seems novel. But yet we all know you can get on these things and start doing things and you don't end up just sitting with Jesus and abiding with him and being with him. It gets so easy not to do that, that as an activator and busy body that I can be sometimes.

That's certainly true for me. And I've been we were looking at the maps multiple times today trying to figure out where we are on this boat and where we need to be. And there's that red dot. And, you know, you're just like, all right, that's where I'm at. And I would encourage you spiritually as you get on this boat to look at that mall map and go, I want to be there. I want to I want to be at the front of the ship or wherever you want to head to personally in your own walk with Jesus.

And to look at that dot, you got to locate where you are. And not where you are in the past, not where you were a month ago, but where you are today, what you're bringing on the ship with Jesus today. Locate that and say, okay, you are here, Jesus.

Here's where I am. And I need you to show up in this way or I am numb. I don't even know if I want like Lord stir up a desire in me wherever you are. Be honest with him and have the opportunity not just to be together on this ship, but opportunity to take space with the Lord yourself. And then the most vulnerable and intimate thing of bringing your spouse into the some of the ways that Jesus is convicting you of or dreams. He's stirring up in your heart or hopes. He's lifting your eyes to that's our type of prayer that we hope that you connect over the type of oneness that you experience this week. And it could start with the simplest prayer tonight. You can just be laying in bed, grab each other's hands and just pray Lord. We want what you want.

That's it. It can be more if you want it to be more, but just verbally going before the Lord together and say God, we want what you want. We want more of you and we want whatever you depth you want to go to in my own life and we want more of one another. And as we just kind of wrap this up, we just want to say, you know, remember that no marriage is static. We're all either drifting towards isolation or intentionally moving towards oneness with each other. And I think we've really experienced this for sure, even over the last month. I think there's sometimes there can be things that happen that are kind of like this little wedge. And other things happen and kind of like hammer that wedge and kind of make the space between us grow if we're not careful.

And that's what happens when we start to drift apart from one another. And I think for us, really this wedge kind of started in December. My parents were supposed to come see us for Christmas.

And my dad is 87 and he took a fall and they just realized, you know, it's just too much for us to come down there. And it was kind of sad and just kind of really put a strain on us, changed our whole expectations of what the holidays would be like. Yeah. And your birthday is the first week of the new year.

And basically we just bypassed that birthday because on her birthday, as we were about to go do some fun things, our 13 year old and now 14 year old just sliced his foot open in a river and ER visit was what the rest of the day was. Yeah. We have a senior. So that comes with a lot of emotions and he's you know, there's certainly some senioritis moments. So we have those things going on and that's hard. And then it's just hard having thinking of launching your kid out of your home.

Many of you, I'm sure, have done this, but it's sad. And so that's hard. Yeah. We have one girl and she is fully a teenager and teenage friend drama is a real thing no matter what type of school you're in. And it consumes a lot.

And all I know is at 11 p.m. nothing else is happening because that's when she's ready to talk. And the distance is real. It's true. And then we have some friends who are just walking through their own really hard things, just trying to recover from some addiction and just trying to carry that with them and balance, you know, the balance between caring for ourselves, but also trying to help them. It's hard.

Yeah. What we're carrying onto this boat is last week we had board meetings for family life and we invited a few other couples in and it was a unique, very engaged time. But like our heads were not in this space.

I mean, it was get it done space. And yesterday was our daughter's sweet 16, which was awesome. But I think we spent the last three days trying so hard to make sure that she felt celebrated. And it was awesome because we're taking off for the week. And I don't even know that we've had too many conversations other than what are we doing for her birthday?

True. And this is layered on top of a year where we've had mold in our house. We enjoyed the Florida mold and we were out of our home for several months. Just realities of being apart and survival mode with six different Airbnbs.

And one of our kids who already has a chronic illness was diagnosed with diabetes this fall. And so that's been another just big thing to carry. So as you can see, this is kind of how we feel getting on the boat in a lot of ways. So we're really thankful for an opportunity to step out of the currents of life and really have time just to reconnect with the Lord and experience some depth there. And experience delight in each other and letting each other in. And we're so excited to be here. And this is our prayer for all of you.

That this would be a moment that's a dry ground moment in your marriage that may be on a shaky boat in the sea at times. But that the Lord would just really show up for all of us and give us ways to reconnect. Let's pray. I want to pray over you and ourselves.

God, we want what you want for this week. Lord, you are in our midst. You are a mighty one who will save. You rejoice over us with gladness. You quiet us by your love. You exalt over us with loud singing. Give us more of you this week, God. Amen. This is Family Life Today, and we've been listening to David and Meg Robbins give a talk that was given on the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise last February.

Yeah, actually, it was the first night, and you could tell by what they were saying, they were sort of prepping us for the week, sort of like an encouragement to not only attend the talks, but then have meaningful conversations about what God's saying to you and about your marriage. And that's sort of what happens is you sort of get to different areas on the boat where you try to get private. You can do that.

Yeah, you can do it. And then it's like, let's go deep. So let's take you deep as a listener. You're probably relating to what Meg is talking about and what they're talking about when we say we all drift toward isolation. If you've ever been to a weekend to remember marriage getaway, we talk about this all the time, that every single marriage naturally drifts toward isolation. So maybe the conversation could be, even tonight or this week with your spouse, do you feel like we've drifted toward isolation, just like on the beach in the water, we just naturally drift?

What would you say? How are we doing with that? We're drifting right now.

We're floating outside of the boat on a little dinghy. No, I'm kidding, but I'm sort of serious. It's like life can be fast. We've committed to a lot of things, and we've been super busy. And when you do that, you don't have time. You don't make time to sit and say, how are we doing? And again, it's one of the reasons the cruise sort of forces that to happen. It's like you step out of your normal life and you do something you can't do when you're running to work and the kids and ball games and school events and baby feedings during the night.

I'm thinking all the different stages that families are in. You don't hit the pause button and rest. And on this ship, that's what you're sort of doing. I think David and Meg were saying, okay, you're on a boat.

You don't have your kids with you. You're going to focus on your marriage all week, but it can be easy even on a boat, not to say, okay, let's be intentional about asking how we're doing. Ask each other, how are you doing and how are we doing? I'm imagining me asking you this question when our kids were little. If I would have said, do you think that we're drifting toward isolation, you would have automatically been defensive because you're thinking, oh boy, here we go. We need to work on this.

You're telling our listeners this why? You wouldn't do that now, but I'm just saying, how would you say, I'm asking you this question, how can we approach our spouse to communicate this in a way that we're not saying you're in trouble or you're doing it poorly, but how can we say it in a way that our spouse would have a good response and not feel like we're attacking them? I mean, I think timing's really important. So don't do it right when he or she walks in the door from a hectic, hectic day, I think.

So you pick the right time and you maybe even schedule it and maybe get out on a date. But then I think you start it with a, with a comment, something like I want the best for us and I think we're doing great and I love you and you're amazing. How do you think we're doing? How are you doing?

I don't know. I think you start with affirmation rather than I think we need to talk and I'm not feeling loved right now. And again, that may all be true, but it's like pick the right time. Prep, ask God, pray beforehand and then say, Hey, let's, let's talk about us. I want us to be great and I know you do too. How do you think we're doing? I think this would be helpful because I think in the past I would have wanted you to analyze yourself.

But now when I listen to this, I think as I approach you, I think I would say, Hey, I want you to know, I listened to this podcast or radio program today and I realized like I feel like I'm so busy. My head is all over the place. It's with the kids. It's with school. It's with, it's with work.

All these things. I feel like I'm drifting away from you and I'm really sorry. I feel like everything else feels more important than you. And I don't want it to be like that. So to even own up to our own part of it, I know for you, that would make you feel like, Oh. Not just about me. Yeah. Well that's how a husband feels and that's how a spouse feels.

It can easily feel like an attack, but when you, when you own your side of it, it lands softer. So maybe tonight is a night to put the kids down to bed and then go downstairs instead of turning on the game or turning on TV or whatever it is, which we do all the time. Maybe just pause and say, let's, let's just talk and start with you and see where God takes it. And you could share this with them too and say, Hey, I listened to this. This one hit me like thinking how we need to make sure we're not drifting. You listen and maybe we could talk about it. You know, we are intentional about so much in life that we value. Things like our job, cleaning up the house, working on the lawn, whatever hobby we might be into. Even our responsibilities within our church.

But what if we valued not drifting the way we value those other priorities? There's a need for intentional connection with your spouse in the middle of life's basically chaos. So I love that David and Meg were being intentional to encourage us to delight in each other, to create space for your spouse and go deeper in your relationship with God and the one who you said I do too.

I'm Shelby Abbott. You've been listening to David and Wilson with David and Meg Robbins on Family Life Today. And we heard from them in their time at the Love Like You Mean It cruise. And it's really, really cool because the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise is a getaway for married couples looking for relaxation, renewal, romance, lifelong memory building, and reconnection with God. I have been on the cruise myself and it's fantastic. And right now you can book and save during our Seize the Savings Sale.

Try to say that five times fast. If you use the promo code SEASE25 as in S-E-A-S 25, you can save big on the stateroom for the 2025 Love Like You Mean It cruise. Now this sale is going to end on June 25th. So you can learn more in the show notes or head over to familylifetoday.com to learn more. Or you can give us a call to find out more information about the Love Like You Mean It cruise at 800-358-6329.

Again, that number is 800, F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Now tomorrow, what is the secret sauce for stronger marriages? Do you know?

Do you know what it is? Well, you can explore the power of respect, communication, and encouragement tomorrow by tuning in and listening to Brian and Stephanie Carter from the Love Like You Mean It marriage cruise, as they talk about all those things and being rooted in recognizing your spouse's worth as created in the image of God. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. On behalf of Dave and Anne Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a donor-supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-06-17 06:23:31 / 2024-06-17 06:34:40 / 11

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