Stronger Together: Brant Hansen and Sherri Lynn

So one of the hardest things in my life is hosting a radio show with my wife over here. What? What are you talking about? No, I think it's awesome. I just say it. It's interesting. I never know what you're going to say. You never know what I'm going to say. But it isn't hard at all. It's just wonderful. But sometimes it's like... She just went from one to the other.

I would say hard. Well, here we are. This is what happens right now. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at familylifetoday.com or on the Family Life app. This is Family Life Today. We've got two people in our studio that do this every day. They host a radio show. Brian Hansen and Sherri Lynn are in here together. And I'm guessing that you guys have to juggle stuff as well. But first of all, let me say, Sherri's never been here. Welcome to Family Life Today. Thank you so much for having me.

I've had a ball so far. And I'm guessing a lot of people recognize your voices already on the Brant and Sherri Oddcast. Maybe.

Maybe, maybe not. I mean, you guys are world famous. And now we've got the star of the show. We've got Sherri here.

That's the reason the show is so good. And Sherri, you're the producer of the show. I am.

I am. So I put everything together as such that it is and produce the podcast and everything. And then we wrap the show. So it's called the Brant Hansen Show.

And there's a reason for it. We could call it Brant and Sherri, but we like calling it the Brant Hansen Show because... Yeah, why is that, Brant? Because you're pretty selfish and you like to star? No, no. That's not how it works. They call it the Andy Griffith Show.

We know who the star was, right? Are you calling me Barney? Because that's an interesting way to turn this conversation. I am, and I'm sorry. Okay, that's fine. All right.

But it was an analogy. Barney Lynn, everyone. I like the fact that I'm doing the prep and I'm an odd guy, right? So she has to respond in real time to what I brought to the table. So it's like the Muppet Show kind of thing where it's mostly you see through the show. So they're trotting things out on stage that are failing, but you see it behind the scenes.

I like that vibe where it's like, here's this guy trying to do a show and his producer's trying to help him. And he explained that to me when we first met during the interview, and he said Muppet Show. And I said, oh, like Scooter.

Scooter's the one with the headset and the clipboard. And he was like, exactly. And I think that's okay. This show's going to work. Hey, she understands me.

So yeah, that's a huge part of it. Now, how'd you two end up together? How'd this come together? I wanted to be a news guy originally. I just kind of mutated into hosting the show. And she applied for a position to help me.

Didn't know who I was or anything, but just kind of on a lark. And so we Skyped. And I looked through her resume and I was intrigued. And she had never left Pittsburgh.

She's from there. When we Skyped, my boss was with me and Sherry and I hit it off. We just started laughing about stuff. I had never talked to her before.

But it was just an instant like, wait, I get this. And we have very similar background, even though she's black, I'm white, she's single, I'm married. Sounds like you're just alike. Yes.

Everything lines up perfectly. Yeah, right. But very similar church in an analogous way. Similar experiences, similar single moms, that kind of stuff. Both have a brother. Both have a brother. We both developed these kind of strange senses of humor.

A lot of that just comes from shared trauma, but also understanding how good God is through it all. Sherry, what is your background? Fill us in. I started out, when I went to college, I wanted to do film. And then somebody let me in a radio station on the college campus and I was sold. And that's all I wanted to do.

Nothing else. And to the dismay of my mother, because I didn't go to any classes, I would just stay in the radio station and make things. I like to make things. So I would make dramas. I would do different voices. I'd bring people in, let them do voices, put this big dramatic thing together, tape it. And back then there were cassette tapes, right?

So you'd tape it and then everyone would pass it around like, oh my goodness, look what... So I love that. That's why producing is really up my alley. Yeah, it sounds like you were producing then. Oh my goodness, I love it. And you're creative, it sounds like.

I love, love, love, love, love making things. Now, when you came to the Brant Henson Show, were you just going to produce and not be on air? Or was it always a little both? No, I tell the story where they explained to me that this was not an on-air position and they kept saying that. And I was like, okay, that's fine. Because I had been through so much in my career, not great stuff, that I prayed to God, if you just put me with somebody humble and smart, then I'll serve. And if that's phones, if that's helping with content, I really didn't care. I just didn't want to be in what can be like an ego-driven kind of... Even in Christian ministry, Christian media, that kind of ego-driven, I was so turned off by it. Actually, I was trying to go into news, like he said.

I was so tired of it that I wanted to go into something secular. And when the job came up with him, I was already interviewing for a news position in Jacksonville, Florida. And they had called, we had went through numbers, all of that.

And then this came up and I said to God, I don't know which one, just help me out here, please. And the Jacksonville people, to this day, if you're listening right now, guys, what happened? They never called you back. They never called me back. They never called?

They never called me back. And so I was like, okay, let's go with this. And I did not go there thinking I was going to be on the air, but he always thought.

He told me he always... You had that in your mind at the beginning, Grant? Absolutely. I wanted to be a sidekick.

I never wanted to be a host. So having another person on the air to me is a huge help. I agree. To have both of us, it's more fun too. It is.

It's got to be somebody that you trust. And this is huge. This is why so many team radio shows are so horrible, honestly. They don't listen. But if you're on with somebody who listens to what you just said and then can respond to it, well, that's wonderful. But if it's just two people who have their own agendas and I want to say this, I'm going to be funny. No, I'm going to say this, I'm going to be funny. It's like, neither of you are funny. And we can all feel that you're trying to one-up each other.

Right. It's not empathetic. And as a listener, if you're listening to that, it just makes you tense versus people who actually listen. And he reminded me so much and still does of my brother, which is a real dry sense of humor. And it's very funny to me. And so sometimes I'll jump the gun and laugh because I know where we're going. And so then people think, oh, well, she's just laughing because, you know, it's not gratuitous. Honestly, it's funny to me because I know where it's going and it's so dry.

I just know the sense of humor so well that we just mesh together. Because you said earlier when we were having lunch that if something's not funny to you, you don't laugh. No, I told you guys that I was demoted and taken off the air. And it was a morning show. I was taken off the air because I would not laugh. The host would say things that he thought was funny and that he clearly thought that I should think was funny.

And I didn't think it was funny. And so he would give a space. So he would say, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. And it would be a pause. And I would just sit there.

And then he would sheepishly come back in and then go into a song. And my program director would call and say, sure, you got to laugh. Try to laugh. It's not funny to me. None of it is funny to me.

And they took me off the air. So I said, I've lost money for not laughing. So I'm not making it up. So your laughter is authentic. It's authentic.

Yeah, I was going to say, you must think Brant's funny. Because one of the things I love about your show is your laugh. Thank you. It's joy-giving.

Thank you. We're glad you think that. And it is joy-giving.

For some people at first, like, what is happening? They're listening. I hate you guys. That's their response. I hate, hate, hate you.

I just got one yesterday. We get these all the time. I hate you guys at first. But now I like.

You weren't on me. Right. But yeah, no, I love you. But boy, I hate you. Yeah.

That always still stings a little bit. Like, you hated me? I bet. But I understand. Because we're not, we don't sound like typical radio people. I'm on the spectrum. Like I've been diagnosed with high functioning autism.

I do sound different on the air. And my choice of topics are a little bit like, wow, that was deeper than we expected. And now we're blowing up a planet. How did we go from there to that? Random sense of humor that's so far out.

Sci-fi. So I know I sound different. She comes in with this boisterous laugh.

She's got totally different sensibilities than me, you know, when it comes to like just background and stuff in her family and my family. So it's really exciting how it meshes. But at first it's really bracing to people. And it was bracing to me when people would say, when we started, they were like, oh, I love your laugh or I hate your laugh. I had never considered my laugh ever.

Really? Because my whole family laughs like this. So I never once thought that it was anything unique or different about it.

It's just the way I laugh. And one time we went to his house. I think it was the first time my family visited me in California. And your family's close. We're very close and we're very loud. Very, very loud. And so I said to him, look, I'm bringing some energy to your house that's going to be different than what you're used to.

And he's like, no, it's okay. So they just from the door, just literally, they never met him. And he said that the next day his neighbor said they were having a party and he never heard them. They were young people having a party. They said we had to shut the windows because whatever was going on over at your house, it was just her family getting joyful. I want to hang out with your family. They are fun to hang out with. How about the white man, black woman thing?

How does that work? That is a beautiful thing. It's a great thing. It's helped me immensely. Whenever you have relationships with people, whatever their sensibilities are, you start to own. So that's been really helpful.

And I think it's been instructive too. And you can obviously address this from your angle, probably way more interesting. But for me, it's so nice to just have a shared project that's a kingdom thing. Because it's one thing to say, let's get together and talk about race. Let's have some black people and some white people. We'll come to a table that's round. It's always a round table. Maybe if y'all start talking at square tables, we can get something together. It's a round table. It's this dialogue.

I guess that's okay. But it's like, no, let's do stuff together. Shoulder to shoulder. I'm sure you experienced this with athletics. There's something bonding about our coach just yelled at all of us. Or we've got this common thing that we're working on together. And then in the process, you work through stuff. But you're on each other's side.

So it's the shoulder to shoulder thing. For us, it's a daily having to work. So that's not even a, I don't know, you should talk about it too. Well, no, it's something that you talked about in your book where knowledge doesn't change people's hearts.

Relationship does. And so I lived as a lot of African Americans do, which I always say, we parachute into the majority quote unquote world. So we live in our community. And then we parachute in and we work.

And then we go back to our community. But we think we know, I'll say me, I think I know more than I actually do. Because I didn't have any actual friends that were white, if I can be honest. I learned a lot of stuff in history and all that. And then you think you know.

Because I read this book and this book is majority about white people. So I'm like, okay, yeah, then I know now. But then when the relationship comes, that's different. And so then when people start to say things, it's like, wait a minute, you're talking about my brother. You know what I mean?

That's different now. We're like, don't they are. Wait, no, my brother doesn't do that. My brother doesn't say that.

My brother doesn't think that. But that comes from relationship and it comes from us. Sometimes we have not done a show. We come into the studio and something's going on in the world or something has blown up racially. We'll put best of material on and we have to talk it through. We argue for two hours and then you go, you know what? Tomorrow's going to be a best of.

We don't have the energy to do the show. But man, I wish I could give that to people. Well, you trust each other enough to be able to have that dialogue. Yes. Right.

So that's just it. It's like you have to be engaged in mission together. If we just got together every week, even if it'd been over 10 years, let's talk about race issues.

That's doomed. But we're working together as part of one body to be a blessing to people. And Brant, you're not only working together. One of the things you said over lunch, Sheri, was that your family's super close.

We are. And so you left them and now you're living in Florida. At the time, no family members were there.

But you said something. You said, Brant's family has become my family. Yeah, they were my family. That's all I had.

When I left Pittsburgh, I took the job and I had, I'm not married. I don't have kids. It was just me. And so I would just go over to their house. Sometimes I'd pop, like my family is a pop-in family. Dun dun dun dun dun. And then just in and we're there till we feel like we want to leave, right?

I didn't do that. But I would pop in. They were so gracious and wonderful. He was more than a coworker.

Oh, absolutely. That's my brother. Well, you just called him your brother. He's my brother.

My mother calls him her son. And my mother was in the hospital and she knew Brant was going to be on Good Morning America. And she told every single person on that floor, every nurse's aide, every nurse, every doctor that came in, my son is going to be on Good Morning America.

If y'all want to watch it, y'all can come in the room with me and we're going to watch it together. And so it never dawned on me that a white man's face was going to pop up there in this very African American woman sitting in this bed. The anchor was black. Yeah. And so he was interviewing me. She's like, is that your son? Is that your son?

And they're like, no. And then they put his face up. She's like, there he is. Did you adopt him or? So she, my mother thanks very much of him as her son. And sometimes I'll go to work and she'll be riding with me because she wants to drive somewhere else and she'll say, tell my son to come down and give me a hug.

And he'll come down and give her a hug. I want to be in your family. It's just, again, I wish I could give this to people because this is the actual work. Relationship is the actual work.

It is. And if you can get to that in a place where we both say Jesus is Lord and Calvary is the central thing for both of us, not anything else, not identity, not politics, not all of that stuff. Calvary is the central thing for both of us and we're working in mission together.

It is just the sweetest thing. The way we talk about it too is it's like, and we would hope that the entire body of Christ would talk about it, would be it's Calvary is the last word, but people talk about, yeah, Calvary, but this issue. Yeah, Calvary, but this other thing, Calvary, but we need to discuss this. I'm like, no, no, no. It's that issue, but Calvary.

That's it. Yeah, that's a real issue. We should talk about it, but Calvary happened. That has to matter. And if that's the basis, we've got hope because it's like, yeah, maybe my side's messed up. Your side's messed up. Maybe I said this wrong or you said that wrong. Like, yeah, okay. And maybe I need to pay more attention to this or you need to pay more attention. Okay, right.

But Calvary happened. And that's how we stay together. That's how we stay connected. And so I never have to pretend like something isn't happening. I never have to pretend like something didn't hurt or something I saw doesn't sting or like, man, how do I get past that?

That's why we can go in the studio. That's why we can talk about it because of Calvary. I don't have to act like it didn't happen.

Yes, it did. And yes, it does hurt. But what glues us together, it's supposed to be for the body of Christ. Glues us together is, I mean, I don't even know if it's popular to say anymore, but it's the blood of Jesus, right? It's interesting, too, because your heart does tend toward people you have relationships with to defend them, for instance. That's my friend you're talking about. So an interesting dynamic of that is, so we talk on mostly, we're on a lot of stations, mostly white people listening because we're playing CCM Nashville music on these stations. But now they know Sherry, the listeners. So even if they're in an all white type situation, they've got no relationships. And we hear from people like this, too. We're like, before they had this knee jerk reaction to certain things. But now they have a relationship with Sherry.

Right. So if they hear Sherry say something, that's my friend. I have to listen to that. It's really interesting. It's a very sweet dynamic that can happen there because radio is so relational that people now, it is a friendship. Like we're being honest on the air and vulnerable. So people do feel like it's a friendship, but they grant Sherry that space.

If she says something that they wouldn't have agreed with before, but now it's like, but that's Sherry. She's got a point. In some ways you are going to represent just like you're going to represent white. Your voice is going to represent, well, that's sort of how white people think. Although it's not true, but you're going to represent. That's how a person of color thinks.

I can validate that because I like her and she represents. They don't know anybody. There's no person in their life. So they just have what was just fed to them on the news or the worst behavior of the worst people in the world. Good grief. Which is what everybody has. Regardless of race, we're segregated now as far as just isolation. We don't have those friendships.

We don't have those relationships. So, you know, we always talk about a gracious place to fall, like say something and be like, oh, that didn't come out right or whoa. I remember I tell the story how I made a social media post about some black film or something. And I thought it was just rip roaring hilarious guys. It was just to me, it was the funniest thing ever.

Because and everybody, family, friends. Yeah. Go ahead, girl. And he screenshot it and he sent it to me and he said, this makes me sad. And then as soon as I saw it, I read it like he would have read it. And I was like, oh, I am so sorry.

Now I can dig in my heels and be like, well, then you get get off your high horse. Well, I can do that if I want to. Right.

We can do that. But that's my brother. And I saw what he saw. And I was like, OK, that because a lot of times we're posting things, we're doing things to our little corner of the world, our little group of people. Right. But when you expand that net, then you start thinking.

And then if you don't think you have that relationship where someone's like, here's how I see that. And then I'm like, you know what? That's legit.

And just take it down. Why? It's I'm sorry. Yeah, that was wrong. I'm sorry. I was preaching years ago and I made a comment in a sermon, something along the lines of another religious belief.

And I said, can you believe people actually believe that? And went on. Guy came up. He's actually back in the days when you did skits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We do them live sometimes. He was an actor and very good. And he comes up to me in the green room and he goes, hey, can I say something to you? Sure, man.

What's up, man? Hey, we're brothers. You know, he goes, that was really offensive what you said about some people. Can you believe they believe that?

Like, they're idiots. I go, well, yeah, I mean, can you believe people believe that? He goes, my mom believes that. Wow. And I'm thinking of bringing her next week.

She'll never come to this church. Oh, wow. Do you understand how offensive that is? Like, you are a thousand percent right. I'm tearing right now. I was like, thank you for pointing that out. See, but those relationships.

But you guys are doing for each other. Yeah, you have a gracious place to fall. Man, I fell there. And then you just get the big, I always tell him, I let him fall. And then when he gets up, I punch him in the mouth. And then he falls again.

It's a gracious place to be punched. I had a guy who's older than me. He heard me say something on the air immediately after this morning show I was on. I was trying to be funny. I can't remember what I said. He calls me and he's like, don't ever let me hear you say something like that again. That was disappointing. Like, you made fun of people.

They didn't deserve that. And, Brent, you're live, right? Yes. Yeah. So this is, but he's calling me after the show.

Right, I know, but it'd be hard. He's calling out there. And he said, Hanson, you're better than that. I love you. Bye. And I got off the phone.

The weirdest thing happened, honestly. I was like, that's stung, but that feels pretty good in the strangest way. Because it's like, I know that guy loves me. We have a relationship.

And when you are in a relationship with people, you can actually have that. You can sort through this stuff together. Right.

And that's one of the reasons, Brent, I didn't know you the first time we brought you in, and we were talking about the men we need. Uh-huh. You wrote a foreword? Sherry wrote a foreword. Sherry wrote a foreword.

She told me to write the book. I did. And I remember reading that and going, okay, he's the real deal. That's what you said.

Oh, that's sweet. Because you basically said, do you remember? I remember saying that I told him to write the book because I saw men responding to him. And I knew that I grew up with my own issues with my father, who was very abusive and all of the, you know, went through a lot. I said, if this weren't the real deal, I wouldn't be working with him.

And if he dared write a book, I'd burn that whole studio to the ground. I'm not just leaving. I'm making sure you can't do anything. But I specifically remember you saying, I've been in his home. What he writes here, he lives. I'm like, done.

Let's go. And then I saw his daughter and his wife were safe. Yeah.

And I never knew that growing up. And so I remember because I always felt from my own point of view and my own background that the measure of a man when I saw him was how his daughter looked at him. So if she looked at him and she had even an ounce of fear, I felt like we should all be afraid, right? But if she looked at him and I saw safety in her eyes, then I knew he was trustworthy. So the minute I walked in his house and I saw Julia look at him, I was like, all right, well, we're okay.

And that was probably like, what, first few days of work? Has there been some healing in you as you have watched him with his kids? I think there's been healing with him. And if I'm honest, there's been so much healing watching my actual brother with his girls and knowing how we grew up. He's a good dad. It's hard to put into words.

Five stars. Yeah. Really?

He's unbelievable. And I admire her brother as well, because when you're both from this background where you're afraid when your dad comes home, or I hope he doesn't, like, oh, I just need some peace. But then you see a car pull up or something. Yeah.

So you live out the opposite of that, right? As a guy, he's like, that's not gonna happen. So being able to come home and your dad's like, your kids are like, Daddy, they're excited. Like, what's the next joke gonna be? What's the next fun thing? And like I told you guys, like, they'll listen to our podcast.

My kids will listen to the podcast. And but that's her brother is the exact opposite of what they had gone through in complete respect. Yeah.

And his daughters feel totally safe with him. And so, yeah, very amazing to watch. I saw my little niece.

She's so delightful. And I told my brother, if I'd have had you as a dad, I could have been delightful. We could have been. You should think what might have been.

It might have been. It's a big picture there. Thank you. Pretty delightful. We haven't even talked about what we're going to talk about yet.

We're going to do that tomorrow. Hi, I'm Shelby Abbott, and you've been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Brant Hanson and Sherri Lynn on Family Life Today. I love what they've been talking about, turning around our legacies at home. You know, Dave and Brant are going to share some more stuff about getting on mission together, going shoulder to shoulder in your marriage. But first, I wanted to reiterate that Brant and Sherri have a podcast called The Oddcast. Together, it's a daily radio show and podcast. It's actually syndicated across the country with segments ranging from the latest animal news to interactions with listeners to discussions about how messy life can be. And it's a great show that's honoring to God. We encourage you guys to check that out.

In addition, Brant has written a book called The Truth About Us, the very good news about how very bad we are. Well, we believe in this very much. And when you give online at Family Life Today, we're going to send you a copy as our thanks. Again, you can go online to familylifetoday.com, or you can give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Now, that could be a one-time gift or a recurring monthly gift. Regardless, we'll send you a copy of Brant's book. Again, the number is 800, F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today.

All right, here's Dave Wilson and Brant Hansen. Something that hit me about, you know, we're a marriage and family show. When you talked about how the diversity works for you, white, black, together, you said, it's not because we're talking about race, it's because we're doing something together. I thought in marriage we do the same thing. It's like, I want to change him, so I'm going to focus on changing him.

I'm going to change her. Get on mission together as a married couple. Get your focus outward on extending the kingdom of God. By the way, that's God's mission for your marriage anyway.

You'll love each other because you'll be doing something together rather than trying to focus on this, focus on something bigger than this. Am I right? It's something that just hit me when I watched what you're doing. I think it's true of friendships, church stuff, too. It's just about getting together and talking over and over and over. Okay, there's nothing like being shoulder to shoulder, actually doing something together, engaged in a mission. Like, that's co-mission. Like, that's great.

Yeah. Now, tomorrow, Dave and Ann Wilson will be back again with Brant Hansen and Sheri Lynn to talk about how they started their radio show and podcast and how it's sponsored by a company called CURE. CURE is an organization that works in countries that lacks the kind of resources to be able to help children who have injuries that are often untreated. And it leaves those kids vulnerable, in pain, and kind of on the fringes of society. CURE provides life-changing surgeries and demonstrates the love of Jesus to children with disabilities through eight hospitals around the world. So they're going to talk about that tomorrow. You won't want to miss it. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.