Gretchen Saffles: Well-Watered Women

We forget to be with Jesus. We forget that soul care and soul maintenance that we actually need every day because when we're pouring out you get dry at the end of the day.

I mean you know the rain comes on the earth but then it dries up again and we need more rain for the plants to grow and you know for things to keep going and the same is true for our soul that you can't just fill up on Sunday and think that that's gonna keep your tank full the rest of the week. Welcome to Family Life Today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app.

This is Family Life Today. When we were in the midst of COVID you made a decision and I thought this was pretty significant. Well I wish I could say I made a decision when COVID started. It took I bet you a couple months.

Yeah I think so too. And the decision was when COVID started I fell into a routine of waking up and grabbing my phone and reading the news. And we would do it at night too because it was the beginning like what's happening? I mean obviously you want to know what's going on and there was all kinds of you know news around the world about the disease about the pandemic but I found myself like the first thing I was still in bed. I grabbed my phone which probably should be somewhere else but it's right there my nightstand and I go right to the New York Times and I read the stats and how it's an outbreak and the latest CDC and all I know is I got fearful. I got discouraged.

It was at least a month maybe two. I remember one day going this is not a good practice. This is absolutely terrible. Not that I don't want to know the news. That is important. I need to start with the word and I chose to put the word before the news. And I think a lot of us have heard this but that saying is what you behold you become. And I think that's so true because the more I behold something I'm shaped by that.

Yeah and so we've got with us Gretchen Saffels today with us again who and I'm looking at you you're smiling you wrote a book called The Well-Watered Woman and in that book we read it. You talk about this very thing that's why we brought it up because you said putting the word I think before the world? Yep. Is your phrase? Yeah. Yeah so welcome back to Family Life Today.

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to talk about this and I'm smiling because I did the same thing. You did? I bet a lot of us did because we want to know what's happening. Yes I mean it became addictive to go what's the next thing?

What did they find out? Right. And I found myself just in this cycle of fear and defeat and discouragement. But I know you didn't do it like me because we're empty nesters and you've got two little boys at home.

You've got a ministry you're leading. You've got a husband. I mean anyway you've got all I mean you probably didn't even get to sleep. I mean I wake up and nobody's there and I can grab my phone. Yeah yeah my husband and I said why couldn't this happen when we were newlyweds?

We could have just had so much fun but I mean with young kids at home and you know everybody being quarantined whoo it was exhausting. Yeah. But yeah it's so easy. I mean really our phones are addictive and it's becoming worse and worse in the younger generation and in the older generation. But we find ourselves it's like this automatic thing we reach for our phone and we check it first thing without going to God's Word and the news changes every day. Every single day.

I mean you never know what you're gonna pull up and go what? That is happening in the world? I had no clue. And it's not just the news. It's Instagram.

It's TikTok. It's everything that we're searching and looking at. And it's easy to fall into the habit of doing that every day. But you talk about the Word being a priority. Why did that become a passion for you?

This I am with you on this. This is my every time I'm in the Bible and Dave and I are driving I'm like let me read you this. I've read you the Bible. She has screamed in our car. Screamed. I love the Word. I just love the Word. And I do too. But the funny thing is she loves to read it out loud to me while I'm driving. She's your audio Bible. Yeah and I'm like you don't need you don't need to read it out loud.

No I do. I just gotta read this story. Like listen to this. Which is so interesting because I remember being in my 30s and I went to a conference a women's conference and this older woman who is probably in her 70s said she'd been reading the one-year Bible every single year for 20 years. And I was like what?

How would you do that? And I'm always thinking what you know what should I read in the Word today? But I heard her and I thought I'm gonna do that. She's on year 16. Mm-hmm. That's incredible doing the one-year Bible.

Yeah. And it's helpful because every day you know what to read. And I like it because I've got an Old Testament scripture. I've got a New Testament, a Psalm, and Proverb. And sometimes I'm just saying like I can be in a section like oh you know it's just like I'm not getting a lot of out of Leviticus right now. Right.

But I can read like a New Testament or Psalm and I'll get something. And the other secret is is that if I miss a day or two days or you're traveling or your vacation I know a lot of the first year I thought I need to catch up. Right.

Don't try to catch up. Yeah. But what happened was nothing has changed my life besides Jesus quite as much as just being in the Word. Right.

It changes everything and it's so good. So talk about the Word before the world. Yeah.

Well you are literally a living example. One thing that I say a lot and I've learned myself is the more you taste Jesus in the Word the rest of the world will lose its flavor. Yes. And so the more because you were listening to that lady going how?

Yeah. And I had a mentor named Karen and she was just I she loved the Lord so much you just sitting in her presence you were like tell me about Jesus. And but she was a woman of the Word. She for all of her children and grandchildren read a Bible specifically for them writing prayers and notes in it and would give it to them. And I would go, how have you read that many Bibles? I mean she had a big family. But she loved the Word and I saw that the more she tasted the goodness of God in His Word not just in the passages that are comfortable even in Leviticus.

Yeah. God speaks. Even in you know the minor prophets God speaks and that's what she desired. And so I have seen that in my own life I had and this was not just you know Dave you were saying for like a month or two you did this this was a lot a very long time for me that I would sleep with my phone next to me and I'd go to bed scrolling you know reading checking email you know is there anything else I need to see before the day ends and then I wouldn't sleep great you know or I'd wake up in the middle of the night and oh can't sleep I should just you know check in see how everything's going then I'd wake up and I do that and my whole day was thrown off kilter. I didn't have peace. I didn't have direction or discernment you know everything just felt like it was falling apart and I felt like I was falling behind because you know the dawn of social media you're always seeing everyone's accomplishments.

And you're comparing yourself. You're always and it's just right in front of our faces more than it's ever been and so the more I filled my mind with that the more it led me away from Jesus. It led me away from his word and then I would come to the word and I'd spend time with him and go why why am I spending time on my phone that just you know I would see this huge difference my husband could see it people around us can see the difference when we have spent time with Jesus and when we haven't and let me tell you when I haven't it is not the most pretty picture of Gretchen.

I think we all know that. So I made a decision you know one year I love doing you know reevaluating at the end of each year. I love that. Some people don't really care but I just find it really helpful for me to look back and to look ahead and I had always been a fan of making resolutions but that year I realized you know the only thing if I just did one thing this year if I put God's Word first in my day if I didn't pick up my phone right away that would actually change everything.

I don't even have to make resolutions for all of these other things that I want to change because God's Word will inform and transform my life and so I wrote that down I want to put the Word before the world. Okay now I'm listening to you thinking you have to eat especially when you'd made that decision did you have any kids yet? I did oh yeah I was a young mom.

So they were little. Yes. Man as young moms it's the hardest thing to get in the Word when you have your kids crawling all over you then they need you. You have to run to the bathroom and lock the door right? No they're in there with you. I was going to say they're knocking there yeah their little fingers are coming under going mommy yeah are you done?

Did you see how you both just jumped on that? That's hilarious. So how did you do that as a young mom because that's the hardest time to get in the Word. You're listening to Dave and Ann Wilson with Gretchen Saffels on Family Life Today. We'll hear Gretchen's response in just a few seconds but first I wanted to let you know about a special group of people who make conversations like today's actually possible. They're called Family Life Partners. It's a community of people who believe in our mission and give financially every month and thanks to some generous partners right now if you sign up to give monthly you not only receive all the benefits of our partner program but your donation will also be doubled for a year so that means if you give $25 a month the impact is actually 50 a month if you give 50 it becomes a hundred you get the idea right you could probably do the math on that and on top of that when you give this month as our thanks to you we'll send you a bundle of resources including two books one lifelong love by Gary Thomas and two not part of the plan by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beale so become a monthly partner have your gift doubled for a year and get a bundle of books that's a pretty good deal right you can give today at family life today dot-com or by calling 1-800-358-6329 that's 1-800-F as in family L as in life and then the word today all right now back to Dave and Anne with Gretchen Saffels and how she finds time to read the Bible with young kids at home I had to let go of my expectations of what it would look like to be in the word because for me I thought if it's not quiet yeah if it's not early if I don't have my coffee yeah journal I chair right so it started to look like okay my kid I woke up early but they're already awake somehow they know they know they know when I set my alarm early and they're just like hey mommy hi I'm right here and so I started to realize I'm just gonna have to open it with them right here there may be a cartoon playing and I may only get five minutes in the word right now but five minutes with Jesus is better than no time with Jesus God can multiply those minutes he knows our seasons of life he knew I was busy I found other creative ways because sometimes that five minutes just wasn't enough so praise the Lord we have the audio Bible now you know Dave you have an your audio Bible we also have amazing podcasts like this one and things that we can pull up throughout the day that will feed our soul and I think we have to understand I mean I was thinking as you two ladies were talking but I thought it's like this we all know how to plug in our phone every night every day whatever and we even have superchargers yeah and I think we got to understand that that is our soul well-watered woman well-watered man is yeah if I'm not connecting and the word isn't the only way but it is a powerful way to connect with Jesus right if I'm not plugging that in daily during the day or at least I mean I plug this thing every night yeah nobody has a phone it doesn't plug it in every night or at least for to get charged you're like I can't live without my phone being charged you know what happens if I 1% you're freaking out like this dies what's gonna happen that's our soul that's our heart it's like when's the last time you plugged in yeah well I've gone a week I'm good no you can't go we can be good your battery is there dry and everything you're trying to do in your marriage and your life and your ministry you don't have the energy you don't have the power it's literally through the source of the word which Jesus is the living word right and the written word but anyway it's a beautiful thing you guys talk about it yeah speaking of batteries so I was joking with you guys earlier how I know nothing about sports it's embarrassing my lack of sports knowledge the same is true about cars so when my husband and I were dating I had this Ford Taurus old I mean I can't even tell you how old it was we had one of those ours is older oh yeah it was embarrassing when we traded it in there like here's five dollars for your car nothing it's so I didn't you know I thought taking care of it is getting gas and you know my boyfriend at the time who's now my husband he said have you taken your car in you know get the oil change get it checked and I'm like what are you supposed to do that and so he is somebody who he takes care of his car and so he took it in for me and it was it was kind of driving not great you know but they got the car mechanic when he picked it up said the good news is your car is not gonna die today the bad news is you drove you drove it you know he thought it was him 10,000 miles past it's needed oil change yeah I mean it was a it really was on the brink of death and you know why I drove it that far cuz you're thinking isn't there a little light that comes on right like you should see that there's something wrong I had a Bible verse on my dashboard and it covered it no I had no clue absolutely no clue driving all over the place with this oil sign saying you need to change your oil and isn't that the same thing that can happen in our lives as we get so busy doing things that we forget to be with Jesus we forget that soul care and soul maintenance that we actually need every day because when we're pouring out you get dry at the end of the day I mean you know the rain comes on the earth but then it dries up again and we need more rain for the plants to grow and you know for things to keep going and the same is true for our soul that you can't just fill up on Sunday and think that that's gonna keep your tank full the rest of the week it's impossible because you don't know what Monday holds and Monday may hold a diagnosis or news of something that crushes you well that news from Sunday you still need that good news today and God's Word does satisfy him you know it says that in the beginning was the word and the Word was with God and the Word was God and so when we spend time in God's Word we are literally reading the words of God like the living and active words no other words no news article no blog article no Instagram post will ever compare or be able to replace God's living and active word and it's hard to explain and I know we all know based on just this conversation it's hard to explain to somebody what time in the word does to a follower Christ's soul mm-hmm there's something almost mysterious it's like it's powerful but it's beyond power it's super natural and again it isn't like this vitamin if I miss it it's but there's something that God resets he he reminds you who he is I always used to preach it's not the size of your faith that matters it's the size of your God because we're always like I want more faith well Jesus said you need mustard seed size faith small faith but if you don't know who God is and every time you open the word here's what happens to me I read I was like oh my goodness you're that great you're that majestic you're that holy you're that big I forgot yes and so it's like this supercharged in your life that I don't think you can understand until you do it it's like what just happened everything got reset yeah the news is still the news but I'm okay yeah why God's Word reminded me who he is he's with me the God of all creation is literally in my life I can make it today I think it'd be really important and I think this is important for all of us to really analyze our soul you know to think how are you doing right now do you feel dry do you feel broken do you feel defeated because I mean I love the words to the woman at the well yeah when Jesus said in John 4 to the woman at the well in Samaria anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again and I feel like that's the world when you drink it you're always the it theology it is but those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again it becomes a fresh bubbling spring within them giving them eternal life and I've used that before and I've sorry I'm doing cleaning analogies here but I take a sponge yeah you know and I cut it out into the shape of a heart and I remember standing on this stage with women it was hard it was crusty and you could take your finger on that sponge and I put it on the microphone and say this is how our hearts become and I was scratch like you know it's like this heart and you can't bend it it's hard and I think it's easy for us to get to that place yeah and then here's what we can do we go to church on Sunday and you put this little drop of water on the sponge and it creates a little soft spot but it's still it needs to be saturated yeah and the more we're in God's Word the more we desire God's Word as you said Gretchen yeah the longer we're away we start looking for other things to fill us and we don't have the longing that we may have to be in the word and so I think it's really good for us as listeners to think through like how is my heart is it hard is it crunchy is it dry as you talked about or when you're in the word and God starts to saturate it you can squeeze that sponge and the fruit of the Spirit starts pouring out and and that living water starts pouring out things aren't perfect but it gives you a new perspective right and you're never too far off yeah always has the invitation of come come you think of Isaiah 55 he's saying come he you know anybody if you've got no bread come and eat no money no price just come and then you think of Matthew 11 when Jesus says come all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest and then this morning I was reading in Revelation 22 I've been really wanting to set my mind on the joy that is to come that someday there will be nothing accursed there will be no pain no hardship but when you get to the end you know it says the Spirit and the bride say come so this is the open invitation from God to us that even when we feel discouraged even when you've gone days months maybe maybe someone's listening they've gone years yeah without opening the word and they feel too far off too far gone I mean how can I even open God's Word where do I open God's Word to what will it still speak to me yes he says come and God needs us there he meets us in our brokenness in our need in our thirst and the thing is you know you mentioned reading the one-year Bible God's Word is living inactive and it's not just the passages that you know are just like oh I feel so good walking away from that today it's also the passages where you walk away convicted and humbled and weeping and maybe even uncomfortable I mean there's days that I read Scripture and I'm going uh what you know I'm a little confused today but still God speaks and he's still revealing himself in the truth of his word so he says come no matter where you are even if your life is a mess even if it's loud because we think that a quiet time has to be quiet and look a certain way no I mean leave your Bible open when you're cooking dinner yeah if you can't find time if your life is that busy leave it open you know listen to it and there's so many spiritual disciplines that Jesus modeled for us in his life to show us that there's all these ways you can commune with me you can turn on worship music in the car you know listen to these podcasts meditate on Scripture you could be standing in line at the grocery store and meditating on this miraculous truth of God's Word I mean what a gift from God above as I'm listening both of you talk I also think everything we're talking about in terms of plugging in a daily rhythm of the word is also true for our marriages right hmm I mean think about it's the same principle if we're not connecting as a couple yeah communicating and we wrote this in our vertical marriage book is one of the ways to bring the vertical relationship with Christ into your marriage is just to pray together I mean I pray she prays no pray together yeah it doesn't have to be a 20-minute prayer it could be a one minute or a five minute prayer but something happens when a couple who's following Jesus goes vertical together right I mean or even opens the word together and again there's you know maybe a husband going I wouldn't even know what to do just open it up right almost anywhere if you want if you want somewhere to start starting a book of Luke or the Gospel of John and just read five verses about Jesus and say let's talk about that I bet you God will meet you right there in your marriage well they're in the you version app there's even scripture you can read together and you can have a Bible plan you can read it together and comment on it those are just good strategies especially if you're busy and you have kids but it's great for our kids to see that as well like mom and dad are praying together I used to have a Bible in my car yeah in my bathroom by the sink it's like all the places I would stop and I would just try to get a verse in here there because it's feeding my soul and I think too with our kids to get them to realize like this is God's Word and he speaks to us through it it's not some old dusty book that's like laying up there that we never open like but to give them the significance as God wants to talk to us through his word and even when we go to church this is this is bad this is something I did we can become consumers at church and I remember and here we are we started our church but I remember when our kids were little I'd get in the car it's like what'd you guys think today bad question right because now okay let me give you my opinion on what happened to church today talk about a consumer mentality that I was building into my kids and I switched that as they got older and I started saying tell me what God said to you today through the word as the word was preached what did you feel like the Holy Spirit spoke to you because then it gets them used to like oh God wants to speak to me right and the word was shared and God was speaking and so that helps them to anticipate like oh I need to hear God's gonna say something at church today through his word yeah and that it's not about me yes it's not about me and well how did you feel what did you think no it's about God's truth that never changes but it always changes us and even if the pastor's boring God's speaking today yeah even if the worship is not that you were ever oh whatever you really all I would say is today open the word it's that simple I mean we can talk about it all you want we talk about prayer all day how about you pray today how about you know what whatever day this is this is the day I start a daily rhythm of opening the Word of God and watch it and you get the word in your life and by the way don't put it on your dashboard and cover up your oil right yes just get the word open it up and start a plan today it will literally change your life and if you miss a day don't quit yeah don't give up don't go oh well there I go again I'm just I'm gonna set it aside again come back remember that call to come it's always an open invitation from the Lord thanks Gretchen that was really good that's David and Wilson talking with Gretchen Sapphoels on family life today you can get a copy of Gretchen's book called well-watered woman at family life today calm or by calling 1-800-358-6329 that's 1-800 F as in family L as in life and then the word today now if you know of anyone who needs to hear today's conversation you can share it from wherever you get your podcasts and while you're there it really helped if you'd rate and review us so how do you fight loneliness when you're a mom maybe you experience that as a mom yourself tomorrow Dave and Ann are gonna be talking with Heather McFadyen about just that on behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson I'm Shelby Abbott we'll see you back next time for another edition of family life today you family life today is a production of family life a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most