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May 31, 2022 10:00 pm
Is trying to be the best you actually ruining you? Author Dean Inserra dives into the satisfaction of getting over yourself to return to the humble truth.
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So back in the first five or six years of being a Detroit Lions chaplain. You remember we used to do our Pro challenge assembly. All you have to basically give the gospel in a public high school is awesome right anywhere. I'll never forget inner-city school Detroit one year in this high school girl walks in and she was like going to introduce us at all I remember is she was talking to her friends didn't know we could overhear from someone or her friend goes hey, who's that other little guy over there because these big athletes enter friend goes. Oh, he's nobody talking that you mean. I was really got it all. I remember with thinking oh no way my whole life I wanted to be some high school girl just told me that because I'm standing beside much of somebody welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationship that matter most and will think I'm Dave Wilson and you can find firstname.lastname@example.org or on our family life, family life today there something in us that wants to be impressed that wants to be on that oh yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that but if that's the goal of your life. It can lead to some very bad choices you make to be impressive so we got the answer back with us today who wrote a book called getting over your health is that I get over that comment you know so anyway Dean welcome back Philip today. It's good to be back will be with you this when your pastor in Tallahassee.
Your dad you your your married and got kids but your that story first. Know your smile and so were you thinking that I think that's the story of many of our lives. There's the I want your expense in the moment but for me, first John talks about the lust of the flesh.
Most of the guys plus the flushes I want to feel that blessedly eyes.
I want to have that and what are the things you want to feel want to have now is admiration right. It's like we are somebody what a daily fight for us to actually believe that we are somebody in Christ. That's the point that we are. We actually are. Nobody outside of Christ to God to dismiss image in this together.
We have dignity because were image bearers of God about the things of this world don't define us, even for moments, about who we are making a somebody I talk about in the book, you have yourself with Ted Turner a cold Christians a bunch of losers is a Christian is a religion for losers. When I first heard that I kinda want to blow up your be like you. You call a loser. The plays were terrible forever old and so our WCW wrestling that is so optimistic man raping the loser you what is a lottery is one of the Bible are Christians considered winners outside of in Christ gives the victory and the victory he gives us is not victory as the world to fight its victory over sin and death that he provides. I want to really actually believe that is the web that's a daily – the belief that it is a daily battle message of the world is that everything else is that when they know my name is not who I am and it's a battle for us as parents to not let our kids fall into that trap as well because the cultures constantly screaming into their ears.
Definitely my kids to be somebody world standards at all.
Somebody maybe were obsessed with that as parents, but what you're saying is that isn't just in the culture in the world anymore. You're seeing that you write in the book about that theology sort of finding itself in the church as well. Right. Definitely because I think it's telling people that God's will for them is to be successful as possible achieve that dream to go conquer that goal.
We talk to most people at a younger life phase.
Most of their goals are to be really successful make a lot of money to be famous and have a platform to be well known to publish this book, although something to follow those things by themselves are bad things, but we believe that's God's will for our life is to achieve those things I worry the room you set up for a lot of failure when it comes to this life, how we define it, but more importantly, that disappointment with God's word and assume that he had all these things of success for us and fast-forward on the road are 45 years old with our basic suburban cul-de-sacs were going to know your name or the kids and their friends and their friends parents feel like maybe that you failed at life somehow rather than actually living a glorious life because you're living in relation with God's local church risen a great family.
What did that stop being the goal and I love to see Christopher turned about being excited and not being what is considered the fulfilled life is woman's with God, with the church with our families and in some ways that's why you wrote the book because I think a lot of people that walk away from Christ. I think it again is just some guy researches me observing the 30 years be impressed about it is I don't think that they don't believe in Jesus anymore. I think they're disappointed in the life they're living after following Christ like I thought I'd be happier. I thought I would be more impressive. I thought I would get the things I was looking for and those things are always coming true is like I walk away from this is that what you're saying yeah what happens in your coach doesn't deliver eventually gets fired far in two years, three years will just got to see Mr. life coach the Mexican we want to something else that's going to. I believe that that coach exists doesn't work because much of the prosperity gospel really is defined by the pragmatic. It's what works, what doesn't, what success, what brings in people so our pastors are caught up in it because they know that we tickle years is to draw a crowd and we think that were doing the right thing. It must be working because look at how many people are here when Jesus actually turn people away when they wouldn't be willing to actually pick up their cross and follow him. So I think that we actually redefine what is success in general and how we have come so far from a biblical definition of success which is defined by wife with God to be a part of God's mission. I want got to be what success looks like for me only recently sat down with Kevin wax and interesting because you now handing how do you guys know we cannot just through our church networks and that he's a good friend of really brilliant Christian thinker and a great writer, simply thankful that he was on this program.
Yet he was great him in his book has a similar title rethink yourself and when he was on our program not too long ago, he made some comments that I think you resonate with in the love to hear your response as you hear this clip we are not the center of the universe with him revolving around our place. He's at the center of everything, and we are part of his big plan God coming first.
Then looking around to others to the people of God. The family of God that we are called to be a part of him and then looking in to see that unique contribution that God has for us to his kingdom. You know, the apostle Paul talks about how in the church. You know there's with one body, but there are many different parts we all have different roles to play. I think it is apparent. I know my kids are unique and I want to celebrate those. The unique aspects of those kids, but I want to celebrate them in a way that's can I have them asking questions.
Where does my identity my gifts my talents of things that God has given me. Where's that benefit in his overall plan not, how can God fit into my plans for my life.
But how can what God is given me fit into his plan for the world. That's the bigger question that I think we have to wrestle with having friends exactly right. A couple things come to mama hear him say that first talk about God be the center of the universe rather than us. I think every Christian I know would say yes God the center of the universe and the new prosperity gospel you so much for your stand right next to close to that as possible as well. Want to give up any of that glory to share with him. You cooled him have about us want to have it to and that I really thought about his own kids where I want my kids know that they have a purpose really do have a purpose, but that's the issue let's define the purpose and the purpose is what is it look like in your life with God in your relationship with God, for the purpose he has for you, which is to use whatever it is he is given you fit your situation in life. Your talents and whatever it could be for his glory in the church to love the church of the mission to thrive around the world. So we hear about our own gifts God never gives us the gifts for our personal good just on its own or personal glory. God gives us gifts to use them for the flourishing of others. The foreseeable church and for his glory. We make sure that our kids know that God's given you a gift not so you can be a big deal. God's given you a gift, seeking to make him a big piano making a big deal without some massive platform.
I guess we get confused sometimes we think in order to make God a big delight to be famous I have a million social media followers I need to write five books the relevant know you can make God a big deal with your gifts by being a faithful husband by being a great mom by being a great dad by being the most hard-working employee that others at work look to admire and as result, they see your distinct life and appoints a new distinct God. I think we start to build see the mundane things in life as opportunities God has given us to make his name great thinker point. Rethink how we view most everything like recently, I've been meeting with a lot of younger women which I left again this kind of mentoring them hearing their hearts. Hearing your passion for Jesus, but there was a time several years ago that I came home and I was just discouraged because it felt like everyone I was meeting with with think God wants me to speak before millions if I become that were being you were speaking before millions and I remember saying to some of these young women you not you know what he wants. He wants your life. He wants you to lay down your life beforehand and for you to say I will follow you.
If it has been cleaning bathrooms as a stay-at-home mom every kid. That's what I feel like I did in my younger years trying to find I get there anything in this, and I felt like God was really pleased because it was an act of worship. As you learn to lay down your life every single day and say I love that God how can I make you famous. How can I lay down my hopes in my dreams, and hand them to you because you're the one I want to follow more than anything else. Yeah.
And I think the question then is okay, how we do it because our sin nature is going to be about me and you know I want to take care of me and in a sense I don't want to be the center my own universe, but I do I start, I want to be the same in my own home.
I want my wife to say you are the man and his sense is really sick and no senses like well that's in there. So how do I overcome that and obviously how do we help our kids overcome that you're listening to David and Wilson with Dean and Sarah on family life to a clear Dean's response in just a minute. The first family life. We believe God does some of his most amazing work in homes just like yours whether that's through small group Bible study or laughing on the floor with your kids or sharing a meal with neighbors. The home can be the launching pad for God's work in this world and for me that gives me a lot of hope. God is at work and is not dependent on some political figure, or the biggest influence or he's using families just like yours to make a difference one home at a time and that's why we do radio broadcast, then podcast and weekend to remember marriage getaways small group Bible studies to help strengthen family to make an impact in their corner of the world and you can help make an impact for even more families by financially partnering with family life and when you give today will send you a copy of David Mathis's book humble, welcoming the uncomfortable work of God. That's our thanks to you when you give it family life to a.com or when you call with your donation at 800-358-6329, 800 F is in family L as in life, and then the word today. Right now we been hearing from Dean and Sarah this week. In his book getting over yourself so you actually do that interesting.
I think we put ourselves in our place in his place to place ourselves in our place regularly and reprogram our thinking on a daily basis and that this world really isn't about me.
I know it sounds cliché, but things are cliché because their trip and returned at the fundamentals overload. I think the most fundamental things we possibly can.
Those Christians, there is a God, and we are not him and find areas are like Paul wrote to examine ourselves to see if her in the face and I think one of the areas we can give ourselves is where I have a tendency to really want to project myself to almost good in some sort of depression, not a clinical depression but like a functional depression, if I'm not getting those accolades is adverb that admiration why is that Oakes brother Glotfelty excuse to go. Will men need this women need that. Okay, that's true, but some excuse to be selfish some excuse to look for all the acclaim and I wonder sometimes if we're in really big trouble with some of our brothers and sisters in Christ because they believe in their life like their failure right now because there 50 years old and their dream may have and they were 20 to become true was that worry is a work that person and for the church that they're not. It would actually fully forced my voice to Christ they still flicker something missing when there's nothing missing because they have Jesus. I really want to believe that for myself as well, but I have Jesus like nothing is actually missing and the messaging often times we hear today Cecile I call the instant gratification of the Christian faith is that you do you still need to go get this go chase. This will tell you things like that.
You have to have these realities in your life for life to really be what is fully meaningful and I just really sad for a lot of professing Christians that have gone hook line and sinker and as result of missing out on joy because their joy has to be so circumstantial have to have this field is to be a part of this including worship services like churches anymore unless it's at a certain level of production and the music is this like a list quality speakers run off a Ted talk is how matrix can actually do that.
So because of budget and talentless type of thing so I worry. What if your job transferred you tomorrow to a town that didn't have a church like the church it still was had a faithful pastor that the people of Jesus. The kids Mr. volunteers were loving but it wasn't a boom was in this big huge charade here singly become consumer yeah and I worry that they could not be a part of a local church community. In another place, even church for them has to be this certain experience.
That's how they view life. Now some experience rather than God himself.
Experience go back and talk to the guy who feels like he's in a dead-end job he 50s dissatisfied or even the mom that like man I'm in the midst of these toddlers. I feel like my life is going nowhere. How did they get that perspective of Jesus is enough. Yeah I think are called called three things that monitor called one provide for your family which there is zero shame in any job allows you to pay your bills. No job is beneath any of us. The laws would do that for family. The second thing is, Clawson says redo all things of the Lord looking for every job has a purpose. Everything in life has a purpose. I can still see my job as a calling you.
In terms of all called to be this job. The active work for God's glory is still calling. The third thing is that I'm never exempt by my light shine before others as you see our good works and glorify God. So say to reprogram how you view work and a lot of men can have identity and work. Often times, was supposed to have a work assignment that God gave us what work existed before the fall's work is good work is on identity. If an assignment God gave us. So I think we to see it that way. I'm doing provide for my family to work in the Lord give glory to God and find opportunism mission field to make the gospel known and then we go to work tomorrow with that perspective also still little bit different because your senior coworkers who don't know Jesus as opportunities to serve God's love with whom you relationship with them. You see, in his last two hours of work there just so come on get to 5 o'clock cannot type a job like that Axley has purpose because Maxi working on the Lord and you're not ashamed of your job or your life because you know that God is giving you, your wife, your husband these kids and you're up to your job as a husband and father is first and foremost provide for them to care for now. Did you ever come in the house and lose perspective on that. I mean as a pastor and I did the same thing where he quickly made yeah I love to hear your perspective because there be times where I'd come home in and wouldn't treat me with the respect and admiration.
I felt like I was getting at the church so you know what I mean you know I say things and people like I had an assistant and she would go get my amine and didn't like this, but to bring the Diet Coke into the meeting because I was in a meeting can get it and I get home and his partner Ms. IK.
Yet I never did that, but as part of his like I'm exhausted, especially after lien strip we go on a road trip and they take care of your return flight right that's owed on a road trip and I'm home with the five Reno and a newborn yeah and so he would come home with that perspective, like how dear dear 90 thing and so I come home exhausted.
You know, again, we got beat so I'm not happy so anyway I'm joking but there's a sense of like you walk in your marriage where your you and as a preacher I preach this late on your life as Christ did for your bride and yet there's this mean monster in there that's like I deserve you to take care of me right now because I've been people then take care of me and insult you ever feel that struggle in your own merit will they say if you preach from your weaknesses will never know the material.
I would definitely that's is the old example of the need to get over yourself. Yeah yeah were. I walked in and I said it's been a hard day preach several times about these four fires and I walk into my wife has had a full day at home. She has done laundry for couple hours for the three kids to drop also runs one place to spend more time in the car, but in the world and I have the nerve to walk in and be like hey I'm here let's all make certain that you oh yeah that is definitely a face, and if ever I think about the barest looking I get is how really simple I can be and I think that the remedy to bat a really one you have to have a wife to go back to earlier is not afraid pushing for Chrissy ever said to you. Hey Dean, get over you if we had the nice thing is that adjustment for us with everything. I went church about nose you yet is what you has to do with a workable staff and that type of thing and then you go home and then you're not King tut anymore. We should be king thunder churches either, but actually that's happened sometimes that's his own conversation for another time, but when you go home. I think it's good to know your wife is not that impressed that she's not that impressed with all I pride please advice encouragement yeah but you know she welcome to do on a Sunday so I thought was the greatest thing that you know but you keep life going together and it's only in a flourish really if I don't think what I want to get home and I was a music supply that everyone for me but really is a temptation to give into a far off that I like to admit. But just have this conversation you bring that up. Maybe think about thing that was why need white ever so regularly in my life that really is our story. Yeah it is having costly to your I think it's typical. I mean, I think all of us do that my life would be better if… I did that in for years in our marriage, my life would be better if you ingest or my kids.
We just or my career. We just I think it really comes down to my life would be better if I had Jesus in the forefront of every thought and that takes a daily discipline. What is that look like for you, just on a daily life of walking with Jesus. So I thought people to get rid of the blank in the blank space as we talk about my wife will just be better if it's a common occurrence so I want to make sure mom. I personally first, I get about blank my wife would not be better must be easier if I could fill not like yeah but it would be better because the best life we actually have really is life with God. That's a daily struggle to believe that this, Lord help my unbelief out of moment my struggles. Not a few summer agnosticism. But I believe in God's executor when he claimed to be my struggle is actually believing that that is best for God himself is best that he is the greatest blessing that if I never have any material blessing ever again.
I hope I do. But if I never have another material blessing again. I'm still blessed because God is good and I by his grace want to know him so I don't ever suggest in my function that I have a better life than a Christian somewhere but doesn't have the same resources that I have or access to things that I have. I think that Krista can still have a great life because they know the Lord yeah and so I think it's really it's a belief thing for me revisiting that over and over you really believe the greatest blessing of God is God and I think the where the new prosperity gospel church and the messaging is falling short visits presenting other means other than that is the reality, yeah, there's a sense I remember years ago doing, we can remember with family life which we still do, and you should sign up right now. Go to one near you, but my co-speaker is a guy named Mick Yoder who is probably 15, 20 years older than me and the had lost a son in a plane crash that he was actually in as well, and he made the statement he said life would be better if we didn't expect it to be so easy he just said we just expect to be easy and when it isn't like what's wrong my life and I just thought when I was listening used for the last couple days. Dean talk about this.
I thought if we understood that when we signed up to follow Christ.
We were signing up to get over ourselves when we signed up to get married where sign-ups this is a way I'm getting it over when we signed up to have kids. We signed up this say this is not can be easy. This is actually going to be really hard and it's going to be agony and is can be beauty initiate me to become like his son not to an easier life. Actually, through a more difficult life that I signed up for knowing on day one. Okay here we go. This is not going to be easy, but it's going to be beautiful in the end result is going to be what God wants. That's what your title says I think while that's a great model for my life get over myself the potential God sees in us the potential to be more like Christ and in the messaging often as God sees us unlimited potential in you is like well it may. By that I mean for achievement Catholic knowledge to potential God sees in you is that Romans 829 to be conformed to the likeness of his son, that's potential, so all of life. Now is the process more like Jesus. And that should be the real with that Damien Wilson with Dean and Sarah on family life Dean's book is called getting over yourself trading believing yourself religion for Christ centered, Christianity, you can get email@example.com or by calling one 803 586-329-1800 F's and family L is in life, and then the word today. If you know anyone who needs to hear today's conversation. Be sure to share it from wherever you get your podcast wire there. It really help us out if you rate and review us tomorrow evening listening to be talking with David Mathis about the fact that we don't just naturally humble ourselves. We need God to do the humble and while that's scary. It's also free that's come up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. On behalf of David and Wilson. I'm shall be back next time for another edition of family life today. FamilyLife today is a production of family accrual ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most