Kristen Clark & Bethany Beal: Not Part of the Plan

You know, what's been really fun lately is having people come up to me saying, Hey, you're my workout partner. What in the world does that mean? That's what I wondered. They said, we listen to family life today, every morning when I work out, and I'm with you.

And so I just thought, Oh, that's so cool. Because one, it's good to work out, but they're working on their family and their marriage at the same time. And here's the amazing thing that doesn't happen without people that are listening right now saying I want to be a family life partner. You know what that is? That's a monthly financial giver to family life. That's how this ministry operates. People like you decide to give one time every year or a monthly gift.

And it literally changes people like you were just talking about, their families and their legacies. And we need you. We'd love for you to go to familylifetoday.com and make a donation. Which is going to be double.

Yeah, for a whole year. Think about that. Everything you give every month for the next 12 months will be doubled by a generous donor.

It doesn't get any better than that. You can change somebody's life with a small or a big donation, which will be doubled. So go to familylifetoday.com and make your donation. It will change somebody's life. I think sometimes as women and as Christians, we don't even realize how tightly we're holding onto a dream, a longing, a desire. And we may even think we're surrendered. We may think we're holding it with an open hand saying, God, I trust you. Whatever your plan is, I will walk that path.

But when tragedy strikes or God takes something away or doesn't give us something, then suddenly our eyes are open and we realize, wow, I was holding onto this so tightly that now I feel like a part of me has been ripped away. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.

And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app. This is Family Life Today. So we've had some hardship since the start of COVID. I thought you were going to say our whole life. Because we've had hardship. Everybody has probably. But since COVID happened, I think like a lot of people, we've gone through some really rough spots. Yeah. Do you want me to list them or are you going to list them?

You want me to list them? Like I was thinking, I lost my mom at the beginning of it. Then I lost my dad. Every person in our family has had COVID. And thankfully, our immediate family has been okay. We've had grandbabies hospitalized. My brother was diagnosed with cancer.

This is so sad, isn't it? This has just been in the last year and a half. You've transitioned out of a church that you started 30 years ago. And it was hard. Like really hard. A lot harder than I thought.

Not just leaving, but just how that all goes. It's tough. And we've had a lot of things happen that were unexpected and they were really difficult.

And so we want to talk today about how do we live a joyful life when hardship hits us and our expected dreams crash? I'm looking at you. You're almost ready to cry. I know.

I just went like, no wonder. It's been a hard year. I mean, it's been less than a month that your dad passed.

I mean, he was 92 and it was really the time was right. But still. It's still really hard.

You have no parents alive anymore. You just don't plan for the things that will be really hard because you have dreams of what life will be like. And then when it doesn't go that way, how do we keep that joy? Yeah. When it's like our plan doesn't match his plan. You know, somebody should write a book like called Not Part of the Plan. Then it's a good book title. That would be a great title.

Yeah. Well, we've got two women in the studio that actually wrote this book, Not Part of the Plan. And you guys are sisters. Kristen and Bethany, welcome to Family Life Today.

Thank you so much. I mean, you have us in tears right from the beginning, right? There is hope. There's hope at the end of this. And you're like, we have hope. We can help you.

Yeah. It's hard. So I'm so glad we're talking about this because I know there are a lot of people who can relate to what you just said, Anne, and some of the trials and struggles we've been through. But I know for sure, and you guys too, every single one of us, we've gone through hard times.

And how do we find hope in the midst of it? Yeah. And it's interesting, as I went online to research you two.

Wow. Girl Defined. I'm not following Girl Defined every day because I'm not a woman. And I'm starting to watch your videos. And I'm like, you are everywhere.

Tell us a little bit about Girl Defined, how it started. I mean, your sister's part of eight siblings, right? Very tall siblings. So the poor people in front of us at church, they could never see. I mean, behind us at church, we were this giant wall of a family.

And you're not kidding. You guys are six foot or taller? Six one.

Your whole family? Almost everyone is above six feet. The shortest is five ten. And we always joke, like, our poor sister, she's such a shorty. And she's like, I'm five ten.

Like, oh, we feel so bad for you. But yeah, Kristen and I, we're only a year and a half apart. And we both had a passion for ministry growing up. And it really was through this experience. It was kind of like we both came to, I guess, this turning point where we had to decide, okay, are we really going to follow Jesus?

Or are we going to kind of just follow our own desires? And both of us actually went through this process of trying out the modeling world, which was very interesting and crazy and scarring and all sorts of stuff all at the same time. Yeah, I know.

You probably can't tell. I was a model as well. So I get that whole world. You know, the five one model. You know, like, that's something that never crossed my mind.

Yeah, nobody ever called us. I was thinking Dave, with the bald head, you could, you know, I don't know, cement shaving products. That's about my only shot. So you both did that for a while? Just a little bit. Yeah.

I think I dabbled a little bit more than you. I don't know. For me, it was really a journey of just asking the question and looking for answers for my identity. You know, what makes me valuable? What is true beauty? What does it mean to be a woman? Where do I find my worth, my purpose?

Grew up in a Christian home, heard all the biblical things, have wonderful parents, but was really wrestling with that question. And I remember thinking, wow, if I have the title of a model, like I am literally a model, then surely I won't have any more insecurities about my looks, my beauty. I'll be the most confident woman out there, right? And I just remember that through that journey, after one year, looking back on that year of being a model, I felt more insecure, more self-focused, more critical of myself, more focused on myself than I ever had been before. And it was because physical beauty, outward appearance, chasing after my identity in all of the wrong places.

It was idolatry, and it wasn't satisfying. And so through that I realized, wow, if becoming a model isn't enough to satisfy what is. And that's when I really took a deep dive for myself into God's Word to discover really what is God's design for my life as a woman. And through that, through my journey, Bethany's journey, us going on that journey to discover how to find God's identity for us, that's really where the passion for Girl Defined came about. Because we saw younger women walking through the exact same struggles, and we're like, guys, girls, God has such a great design for us. Come along. Let's discover it together. And it's been so amazing because I think that in our generation, social media wasn't really a thing.

It was you could get mentored by people in person, but that kind of online mentorship, it wasn't as available. And now, you know, the world we live in today, it's incredible, you know, through books, through social media, through just YouTube and all of that, we get to be like big sisters to a lot of these young women, or just sisters in Christ, and link arms and say, hey, we know it's hard. We know when you are in your own city, kind of by yourself, you feel like I'm the only one that's trying to follow God, trying to trust God. But then you get to hear a show like this with you, or you follow, you know, our page Girl Defined, and you realize, wow, I'm not the only one. And there are people fighting for this.

There are people that want to live out God's design, that want to trust Him, that want to be for us a woman of God. And that's so encouraging. And so that's just, you know, as long as God will use us, we're here together. Like, okay, you know, if something happens to me, you carry on. If something happens to me, you carry on. But so far, we're both here together. Were you surprised at the following that you gathered? Like, there are a lot of young women following you.

Yeah, I think so. Surprised and then not surprised, because we felt that yearning for sisterhood. We longed for sisterhood as well. And as we kind of stepped out there and just became really raw and honest about our struggles as Christian women, and said, Hey, yeah, we're still struggling. We're still on this journey.

Let's dive in together. It was like the same thing that we were longing for, they were longing for. And we just kind of latched on to each other and more and more sisters from around the world latched on and we kind of became this community. And it was just so sweet to see the way that God grew it from the ground up, like starting with nothing, and then growing it into a full blown ministry and YouTube channel and podcasts and books and conferences. And we're just like, okay, Lord, we just take it one year at a time and say, God, what do you have for us this year?

And I'm sure you guys are the same way, like, God, we're ready, but what do you have? And this is your fifth book. Yeah, they snuck an extra one in this past summer, a devotional. So technically, it's like our fourth book, you know, an extra devotional, so five books. But I will say when we started Girl Defined, there was something that was not part of the plan that happened that we just were not prepared for.

Kristin, you know, she shared the really sweet part of it. But I think the part that surprised us and is being public about our beliefs in God and our stance on just biblical womanhood. We had no idea just how people who don't believe in God or who don't like what we were sharing, how aggressive, I guess, the online world can be to come after you. And I think that's the part that we've really had to wrestle and just think and pray and get counsel because it's hard to share, you know, truths about God.

A lot of the people in the world don't like that. And so we've had to say, like, do we really trust that this is what God has for us? Do we really believe His Word is true? Do we really believe that He, you know, designed men and women to be equally valuable, but purposely different? Do we really believe this stuff?

Because if we do, we're going to have to get out there and share this. And, you know, if there are difficult opposition that comes our way, we just have to trust God with it. So that's been a huge area of trust for us and just having to know, okay, if we get shut down because we get reported a billion times, like, that's okay. Like, God, He chooses to use us, but He doesn't need us.

And so we can be grateful for any time that He allows us to have a platform. So that has been, I would say, definitely a lot of sleepless nights and seeking a lot of counsel, just struggling with that, you know. Yeah, that's hard. And that's where the identity piece comes in of knowing who you are, what God has called you to do.

But that's not easy. And I mean, as I listened to your story and even read, you know, not part of the plan, but a trusting God piece is a theme. I'm hearing it now in your own lives, but definitely a theme in the book when, I mean, your subtitles is perfect. It's like trusting God with the twists and turns of your story. So let's get into that a little bit because, you know, here I am a dude reading your book and you start with this incredible wedding dress story. Please take us back to this. I am like in it. I'm like, I need to hear the end of this.

Well, this isn't my, you know, brightest shining moment in life. But Kristin, so Kristin and I are really close at age. She got married 10 years ago. So when she was getting to know Zach and, you know, they got engaged, she did the whole wedding dress shopping scene. And of course, you know, we have many sisters in our family. There's eight kids, five of us girls, our mom, the mother-in-law, the sister, all that.

So we're wedding dress shopping. I am completely single at this point, but I am a very hopeful person. So I had high hopes that my man was out there and on the horizon, ready to come and, you know, marry me.

I just didn't know where he was. You're probably thinking, and this will just be like a year or two away. I mean, Kristin and I are only a year and a half apart. Growing up, we did everything together, two years apart. We're two grades apart. So it's like, I would start basketball, she would start, I would do choir, she would do choir, whatever it was. So we were always doing it together. And so we just assumed I'm getting married, you're right behind me.

It'll happen in the next year or two. Absolutely. And so she is, you know, going from wedding dress shop to wedding dress shop and nothing was clicking. Everything was just like, oh, that's it. I mean, she looked amazing in all the dresses, but it wasn't her. And so we go to this one particular shop and she comes out and what I thought was like the perfect, it was it. I'm like practically in tears with how beautiful this dress was. And she's like, eh, I mean, it's, it's good, but not really me.

And I'm like, are you kidding? You're like, say yes to the dress. Like, this is your moment. And she's like, ah, so out of nowhere, Kristin, and this is where people get confused.

They think I'm the selfish sister, like taking over her moment. But Kristin actually suggested that I go and try this Cinderella perfect dress on. And so the poor, you know, the sales clerks and the, you know, they're just like, what is going on? You know, trying to figure out what's happening. So I literally go in the dressing room and put this dress on and I walk out and it is my moment. Tell me what you felt like.

You tried it on. You were like, oh yeah, we had videos. I mean, the mom, it was literally like I was getting married.

There were a rough shit, like the cheers. It was like, oh yes, Bethany, you look amazing. Like this is it. They're just as crazy as me and my family, you know? So they're cheering me on and they're like, you have to get it. You have to get it. So I'm completely not engaged or even dating someone at that time.

Literally she loved it so much. So we're all looking at this like, okay, if you love that dress so much and you, you're probably going to get married soon, you better snatch it. Cause when you, if you do get married soon, it's probably not going to be here. So we're just thinking the price will be higher.

Just grab it while you can. That was 10 years ago. And I will say, um, you know, I mean I was, I was single, so I didn't have that many expenses. I guess I still lived at home. So I literally was like, I'm going to do it. And so I just pulled out my debit card and paid a thousand dollars for this dress.

You know, I wasn't looking for any particular deal. I was just, you know, like impulse buy. And I will say the sales clerk asked her when she checked out, so she buys a dress. I don't find a dress. So she buys one.

I don't. And the sales clerk asked her when she's checking out. So honey, what is your big day? Like, Oh, I forget what I said. You're like, I'm still working on that.

Still working on it. I didn't, I, I came home. I was so excited, but also so embarrassed at the same time that I remember, you know, anyone who wasn't at the shop, I literally did not tell like none of my friends. No one knew that I had bought this wedding dress.

I stuffed it in the back of my closet. And I just remember thinking like, well, my day is going to come soon, you know, so this probably won't sit here for that long. And it's just crazy because Kristin ended up finding her dream wedding dress, ends up getting married and I'm still, you know, very like 21 or 22 at this point.

Tell me this. What were your expectations? Oh yeah. As a little girl, totally you guys grew up together. You did everything together. So what was your dream?

Yeah. I mean, like I said, I grew up in a big family. I loved the idea of getting married young. I wanted to have, I mean, literally when I was young, I was like, I want to have 20 kids. Now I have one and I'm like, what was I thinking?

Oh, you know, big families. It's awesome. But I'm like, you know, I, I just remember thinking like, I love romance. I want to get married. That's what my life is going to be about. That's how I'm going to serve God. And that is God's best plan for me because marriage is wonderful.

Being a mom is wonderful and all of those things are. And I just thought, God, this is your best for me and this is how I can serve you best. So this is what needs to happen. Yeah. I very much had a box that I was putting God in, you know, he can't be put in a box, but in my mind. And I was thinking like, of course I can serve you. I can love you. I can trust you because this is the plan for my life. And I've got the dress.

I'm ready to go. Almost sounds like an act of faith. Like, God, I know you're going to do this. I know I believe so much.

I'm going to buy this dress. It's like a reverse act of faith. But that's what you're saying at the beginning. We have these plans and expectations that this is what my life is going to look like. This is what you're going to do, right, God? Yeah. And then it doesn't happen according to our timing or what we.

So how long did that dress sit in the closet? You're listening to Dave and Anne Wilson with Kristen Clark and Bethany Beale on Family Life Today. We'll hear Bethany's response in just a minute. But first, I wanted to let you know about a special group of friends who helped make conversations like today's possible. They're called Family Life Partners. Partners are a generous community of people who believe in our mission and give financially every month. And thanks to some of those heroes, really, right now, if you sign up to give monthly, you not only receive all the benefits of our partner program, but your donation will also be doubled for a year up to $300,000. So that means if you give $25 a month, the impact is actually $50 a month. And if you give $50, it becomes $100. You get the idea.

You could probably do the math. On top of that, when you give this month, as our thanks to you, we'll send you a bundle of resources, including two books, one called Not Part of the Plan by Kristen Clark and Bethany Beale, who you're hearing from today, and second, A Lifelong Love by Gary Thomas. So you become a monthly partner, have your gift doubled for a year, and you get a bundle of books.

It's a win-win-win, really. You can give today at familylifetoday.com or by calling 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F as in Family, L as in Life, and then the word today. So how long did that dress sit in the closet? You know, I got it when I was 21, 22.

I am 33 now and I've been married for three years. So it sat in the back of my closet for almost a decade. So the question is, I mean, I'm reading the book like, did she wear it? Did she wear it? Did she wear it? Oh, you mean for the wedding? I thought you meant like every year pulled out and walked around the house.

No, did she wear it for her wedding? I will say it haunted me for many years. And I had a friend one time who was helping me paint and they tried to reach in the back of my closet to see like if the baseboards or I don't know, something needed to be painted. And I was like, no, I basically tackled them because I didn't want them to find the dress. So it was sort of a secret.

Oh, a big secret. Yeah, because it's like, yeah. And as the years ticked on, I will say it got a little bit more like, oh, this is kind of awkward now.

You know, I just didn't want to talk about it. And I just started to feel like that was so dumb. And I'm like, wow, I paid a lot of money for this. And it's a very big dress, I think like very Cinderella, very full, you know, so it took up a lot of room.

But so when I met my husband, Dave, you know, all these years later, we got into a relationship. I was like, I got this dress like eight years ago. And I cannot imagine walking down the aisle to my fiance in this dress. This is so not us.

This is so not him. This is just I can't imagine it. And so I felt all this guilt though, like, but I bought this dress that I should wear it. And I was like, you know, okay, I was a really stupid naive 21 year old like, okay, I just have to be like, I lost somebody. So I did. I will say I tried to sell it.

That didn't work. So I ended up getting another dress, just paid for it, you know, didn't just, you know, didn't worry about it, bought another dress, walked down to the aisle and that dress and the sad part is is that I was never able to sell it and I haven't been able to find anyone to give it to you. So it was actually still hanging in the back of my closet to this day.

This is an illustration. You should not get rid of the dress. You need to get on stage and put that dress behind you.

Yes, this is what we do as women. So often we have our dreams and it's a tangible dress. And it looks all of us have a dress. It may not be a dress, but all of us have something the dream that we hold on to that we think when that happens, I will have made it.

I don't think you should sell it. You should use that because we all relate to it. So I thought that was a great way to start. So often, again, I'm the only guy in the studio today. So I have this male perspective where I'm looking at three women and I'm thinking a lot of times a woman's dream is that.

It's a guy, it's a relationship, it's a marriage, it's kids. So when that doesn't happen, walk us through what that felt like. And I know, Christian, you're married and yours was 10 years ago, but we all have dreams. I don't have a dress, but I have that visual in my head. I have something that I wished I wanted didn't happen.

And I blame God. Walk us through what that felt like for both of you. Well, let's hear Christian's story because you had dreams unfulfilled as well.

Right. So I got the dream of getting married, right? Thinking, oh, I'm getting married young. And I remember thinking on my wedding day, got married at 24, which to me at the time felt old, but I remember so many people questioning like, are you sure you're so young? And I was like, I'm not that young. I was pretty young, but my husband was even younger, 23.

So 23, 24 get married. And I remember thinking going down the aisle, life is perfect. I am marrying this godly man. We live in the same city as our family. We love our family. We're surrounded by this incredible Christian community.

We're healthy. Just everything seemed to be clicking into place. And I'm kind of a ducks in a row kind of person, like black and white.

I like to have my plan. And I just remember thinking, wow, God, I am so blessed. Like thank you for this amazing life. And little did I know that the next decade would be filled with so much heartache on the front of wanting to start a family, have kids and not be able to, and then experience multiple miscarriages, multiple losses, just devastation in my own life and our own marriage family wise. And so we get married.

Life seems perfect. Two years go by and we're like excited to start a family and nothing's happening. And then I get pregnant and that pregnancy turns into a miscarriage six weeks later, so early, which I'm grateful for, but still heart-wrenching because like Bethany said, we're from a big family, eight kids. Our mom is a birthing pro.

I mean, she just could crank him out and she's like superwoman. And so I'm thinking, I'm never going to have struggles in that department. I have friends who did infertility miscarriage, but that's not going to be my story. And I remember that first miscarriage was such an eye opening loss for me because I think sometimes as women and as Christians, we don't even realize how tightly we're holding onto a dream, a longing, a desire. And we may even think we're surrendered. We may think we're holding it with an open hand saying, God, I trust you.

Whatever your plan is, I will walk that path. But when tragedy strikes or God takes something away or doesn't give us something, then suddenly our eyes are open and we realize, wow, I was holding onto this so tightly that now I feel like a part of me has been ripped away and I don't even know how to trust God. I don't understand. God almost feels cruel. And I remember feeling that and wrestling in my heart with this sort of anger toward God that I had never felt. Why would you, God?

Why would you give me this and take it away? You know, because I don't know, for me, just even seeing those double lines of getting pregnant, I was already there, like holding the baby, thinking of baby names, like imagining baby showers. And so all of that comes crashing down and you're just kind of back at square one. And I just remember feeling so devastated, walking through the grief with my husband and then pressing on, trying to trust God, moving forward. And then six months later, the same thing happened again. And so now I find myself back in that same place of going, God, twice?

Back to back? How could you let this happen? And now did fear start settling in?

Oh, yes. And now I'm scared to get pregnant. Now the very thing that I longed for so much, I'm terrified of. But at the same time, longing for it just as much. And so that for me was such a journey of God comforting me through the loss, but also in a gracious way, challenging my heart of where is my hope? Is my hope in getting the dream life that I've always imagined that I assumed would become easily mine? Or is my hope ultimately in God? Am I truly surrendered to the life He has for me or the life I've scripted and then expected God to follow?

Right? And so for me, it was such a journey of surrender and just recognizing, wow, I really idolized this idea of having this perfect family with the white picket fence. I didn't even know I was idolizing it, but I see that now and working through that and then going on a journey of four, five, six years of not even being able to get pregnant, getting diagnosed with unexplained infertility, dozens of doctors visits and just left with way more questions than answers. And through that, just feeling like almost like, where is my identity? Am I even a complete woman?

I can't even do the very thing my body was designed to do. Just feeling broken and hopeless and having to go back to the Lord, remind my heart of His character and who He says He is, that He is a good God, even in our pain. And then long story short, share the whole story and not part of the plan, but I experienced a third pregnancy and that one ended in miscarriage later on. So it was almost out of the first trimester. And I just remember feeling again, almost like, God, how could you let this happen?

And that for me was the lowest point I would say in my life and spiritually. And then the hardest part was that Bethany, the hard but beautiful part, it was like this dichotomy she ended up getting pregnant a few weeks after my miscarriage. And so here we are as sisters, always so close, we're running this ministry. I am walking through the hardest time in my entire life as she is walking through one of the most joyous times in her life. And I just remember we were walking and I just said, hey, you know, we were very open with each other.

We always have been. And so I just said, hey, like, are you pregnant? You know, kind of joking. And she just started crying because she was so sad to even tell me because she knew it was going to be so hard for me to hear as I was grieving. So just even as sisters, and I know anyone listening knows what it's like to long for something or to experience a loss. And at the very same time, someone that you love, someone that you're close to is getting the very blessing that you desire.

And as Christians, how do we walk that faithfully? And that's one of the hugest journeys that God took each of us on as sisters, as Christians. How do we celebrate the joys of others while we grieve the losses?

Well, how did that go? I mean, and that, I know it's long ago, but if you could take us back to that second, she's over there in joy. And I mean, that second when you heard the news, what did that feel like for both of you? I think that it's really hard and I, well, I've endured this publicly, but I've been through two miscarriages now too. And so thinking back to that moment is even harder because I can understand the pain now of what that is like and just wanting that so much.

And so, you know, I was so excited for Kristen and I would have done anything. Like I remember praying like, God, why can't you give her this healthy pregnancy? Why can't you give her this baby? Like we've, you know, haven't even been married for a year. Like I'm super happy for her to have this.

And so to know that she had just lost this baby and that this is something they've been praying for, they've been married for 10 years. And then, you know, within two weeks of that timeframe for me to have to tell her. And I remember truthfully on the other side, I was dreading it, you know, like I didn't want to tell her and I didn't know how. And I just remember when she asked me and I burst into tears because it's that hard thing. Like I love her so much. She loves me so much.

And I know she was going to be so happy for me and she was going to rejoice with me just like I rejoiced in her marriage all those years and I had to nap my man. We're super close like that, but it's hard, you know. And so that it was so hard just having that, like we were on a walk in our neighborhood and I can still remember the exact spot that we were having to realize like wow, we had talked about this as an idea in the past that I could get pregnant and that she would still be struggling with infertility, but you don't want to actually be in that moment. And so to be in that moment was so hard and we had no idea what the future held. We had no idea, you know, I had no idea for sure if my pregnancy would go on to be healthy and all of that, but I mean, the pain that you have walked through, so many have felt that like one of our sons, his wife had three miscarriages and right in a row and it just, it's that, oh, I'm hopeful.

And then your dreams and your hopes crash. And so I'm thinking of our listeners that have struggled with this, like it's heart wrenching. And even as you said, Kristen, even like your thoughts of God, like why I don't understand. So I'm wondering as we close, Kristen, could you pray? I'm just thinking about the moms that maybe have lost babies, but also even the mom's daughters who are struggling with infertility right now. Would you just pray?

Yeah, and I'd just say the husbands of those women are often forgotten, but they're hurting as well. Yeah, let me pray. Oh God, we come before you now so grateful that you are not a distant God, far away from our suffering, but God, you are a near God, a father who sent your only son to come to this earth, to live as a human, to die a cruel death for the people that you loved. God, that is the kind of God that you are. And so we praise you that you are a God who draws near to us in our brokenness, in our suffering, that you are the one who can truly comfort us. And I want to lift up right now, every woman who has ever walked through infertility, miscarriage, for every mom who's listening who suffered that or has a daughter who has or a sister or a friend, and we all know someone who has been touched by this. God, and I just pray for each of those hurting hearts, even memories that maybe start up right now from something that happened a long time ago. God, I pray that as you promise to be near to the brokenhearted in the Psalms that you would draw near and that we would not push you away, that we would not get angry at you, God, but recognize that there is only hope when we run to you, when we look to you, when we draw near to you as you draw near to us. God, that is when we find hope.

That is when we find peace in the midst of the storm. I pray for every woman grieving right now in the midst of that loss. God, would you comfort her heart as only you can, Lord, and help her to know that there is hope on the other side, God, because our greatest need isn't to get what we want, but to get more of you in our life.

You are our true hope. And I've seen that in my own life as you have pulled me out of the pit, as you have pulled me out of my despair and my grief and set my feet on solid ground. God, we ask that you would do that for every woman and man listening as couples walk through this struggle together. Lord, draw near to us. We pray this in Jesus' name.

Amen. That's David Ann Wilson with Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal on Family Life Today. Let me remind you that you can get their book Not Part of the Plan, Trusting God with the twists and turns of your story when you become a monthly partner at familylifetoday.com or by calling 1-800-358-6329.

That's 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. If you know anyone who needs to hear today's conversation, you can share it from wherever you get your podcasts. And while you're there, it really helps us out if you rate and review us. Now tomorrow, David and Wilson are going to be talking again with Kristen and Bethany about understanding your true identity in the midst of tragedy because identity starts with who we believe God is. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you can join us. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.