Family Life’s David and Meg Robbins: Marriage As a Team

Hey, before we get started, I got to tell you something exciting happening right now at Family Life. Yeah, this is good news.

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It's literally going to change your marriage and it's half off. All right, so 33 years as the Detroit Lions chaplain. You know what that meant? A lot of losses. Yes, and a lot of head coaches. How many do you think I went through? Eleven. Different head coaches. Good guess. Yeah. I think it was twelve. That's because I've heard you say it.

Yeah, well, I mean, a couple of them made it two weeks, three weeks, but most of them were several years. But here's why I'm bringing it up, because every time I met a new coach, I wanted to impress him. You know, like, you're going to keep me as your chaplain. I wasn't hired by the team, but the head coach could still decide, do I want this guy or not? And so every time I wanted to impress the head coach, guess what I wanted to do?

You don't even know this. I don't know what you're going to say. I'm like, he's got to meet my wife. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson. And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app. This is Family Life Today. Everybody has told me so much, though, and I sort of got annoying that you're so much better with your wife.

You're good, but your wife and you, you're so much better. So, I mean, I knew if my head coach could meet my wife, he'd like me. And remember Rod Marinelli? No. I mean, I remember Rod. Of course you remember Rod.

Not yet, but I don't know what you're going to say. I hope Rod's not listening right now, because my wife just said, I don't even remember. No, I remember his wife, Barb, too.

Yeah, she was great. But I remember the first lunch we had together, after we were walking through the building, he turns to me and goes, man, your wife is dynamite. You two together.

Wow, I'm looking forward to what happens. Did you tell me this? I'm telling you now. This is so nice, now that you're telling me on the air.

Well, the reason I'm bringing that up is we're sitting with a couple right here in front of us in our studio that I think is the same way. Me, too. David and Meg Robbins, you two, well, first of all, let me say welcome to Family Life today. Thanks. It's good to be here with you guys in studio.

This is great. I mean, this is the first time we've had you together with us in studio. Yes, and for those of you who don't know, David is our president for Family Life. And Meg, you are the president, too, because you're his companion.

You're his one that makes him great. We're in it together, for sure. Indeed, indeed. And when we met you a couple years ago, that was one of the thoughts I had.

Me, too. You guys are so dynamite. I mean, David, first of all, you're amazing.

Unbelievable. Meg, you're amazing. I am better with her, there's no doubt. Yeah, I mean, it was like one of these things. It was like, and some couples aren't that way, but you guys, that's why I thought of that. You are dynamite together.

Yeah. Even just a few days ago watching you speak on stage at our staff conference, you were just, there's charisma that exudes from you. So we're excited to have our president and his wife in the studio. You've been married how many years? It is 20 years. We just crossed it in two decades. And I mean, in thinking about being a team, like we go back to, that transformation really happened in the trenches when we weren't on a stage, when we weren't leading really anything hardly at all of significance, we were overseas in Italy.

And man, some real transformation happened being kind of in the wilderness for me and me realizing how amazing Meg is and some gifts that she has. And you've got four kids at home and I just heard they're all in school. Tell us a little bit about your family. We, okay. So I came in to Ole Miss, the University of Mississippi as a freshman and David was actually my orientation leader and that's how we met initially.

And actually the genius move that he made was that when I walked up and he was calling roll cause he's two years older than me. So he's leading our group and he says, uh, Meg, which if you don't know this about me, my first legal name is actually Mildred. So he says, Meg, and I just stand there knowing that the role doesn't say, uh, Meg. So I jump in and I go, is there a Meg? Does anybody go by Meg? And I was like, well, I go by Meg, but I'm pretty sure that's not what your paper says. And he said, well, I didn't think you would go by Mildred.

How risky and horrible was that? I love my name, Mildred. So anyway, it was funny. He had grown up. My initials were M E G and he saw my full name and thought, this girl probably goes by her initials. Just saying things out loud in the moment. I, it's not on purpose, but it was a first impression, whether good or bad. It was a first impression. But when we came back to school in the fall, um, crew, we were involved with crew campus crusade at the time was starting coed Bible studies and a girl invited me to her Bible study.

And she said, the guy that I'm leading with, you may know him, his name is D Rob. And I was like, oh, that was my orientation leader. So we were in the same Bible study for a semester. So I got to see this freshmen's heart. I mean, she came into college. I needed two years.

Thank goodness. I was two years older than her. I rode the fence in lots of ways, but Jesus kind of got ahold of my heart that summer. I was leading her orientation group. I went right after that over to Romania on a crew summer mission. And I mean, God just met me of how big of a God he is to all the nations. And I came back, you know, on fire leading this small group. And then I got to see this freshmen every week and her heart just open up of her love for Jesus. I go, who is this freshmen?

Okay. But it's important to note that he came back. So on firewall, I didn't know him really before. And I actually wrote in my journal, let's just say, thanks to the Lord, pre pre Jesus. But I wrote in my journal that I wanted to marry somebody just like David Robinson, but I had no, he was a junior and he was kind of big man on campus and was so passionate and on fire for the Lord.

And it was so obvious. And so I had journaled that and was like loving, getting to know him, but never dreamed that it would be an option. And he would be interested in me, why didn't you write, I want to marry David Robinson? Because I didn't figure that would ever be an option.

He was a little freshman. Meanwhile, I'm like, this is exactly the type of person I'd want to date and see if I'd want to marry. I mean, she has everything. And I'm telling my small group co-leader, Hey Beth, I really got to start being careful. You know, I'm like a redeeming my flirtation, you know, and my propensity to flirt and I'm really trying to follow the Lord and how I pursue somebody. And so I think we need to start leaving Meg out of our Bible studies, social activities, overzealous. It just was overreaching and Meg, meanwhile, start sharing come October or so, Hey, I'm loving being in a sorority and meeting and having an impact to people that don't know Jesus, but I really need Christian friends and I'm going, we can invite her to our social stuff because I don't trust myself. I mean, it paid off in the long run later when we were dating, something came up about that and I was like, wait, what? I was like, I knew y'all were doing all that stuff and I was wondering what was going on because I would see my friends and they'd be like, aren't you coming?

Everybody's coming. I'm so sorry. I didn't even know about this event. I have apologized and the Lord's forgiven, but what's true is the day that Bible study ended in December, that next day I called you, asked her to our formal Christmas formal and we went, we had a great time. She danced. That was a high, that was a big criteria for me. I love the dance. She danced.

You know why that's a criteria? Because you guys can dance. I've seen you dance. Everybody's question when leading up to, Oh, who are you going to this formal with? And I would say, dear Rob, and they'd say, Oh, I hope you like to dance. I probably had 15 people say, Ooh, I hope you like to dance. So but then after that formal, we, we went out to lunch and just kind of laid it out.

I'd seen what I wanted to see. And so we went really slow cause we started dating when she was a freshman. So did you come on staff right out of college? We did.

Yeah. I remember December 31st, 1998 being in a hotel ballroom at a conference that crew was putting on. I was praying that month, Lord, I want to, I love advertising and I want to go to New York and, and live that and there's gifting there, but I feel this pull to, to serve you full time for a season. And I remember I was going through first Corinthians and was on December 30th, I was taking that month to pray about it. And I really was asking the Lord, would you show me by the end of this month, which I would have kept following him if not and trusting him, but that's what I was really trusting him for. And on, it was like first Corinthians eight on orderly worship on December 30th.

And I'm like, Oh, come on, Lord, I need like for you to show up. And then it was first Corinthians nine on December 31st and woe to me if I do not preach the gospel and I remember journaling woe to me of what, and writing some things and then verse 19, although I'm free and belong to no man, I make myself a bond servant to win as many as possible to the Lord. And in that moment it was Jesus in the spirit kind of met me in a sweet way of your free David to go do whatever profession and occupation you want to do, choose to be my bond servant.

No matter what you do, everyone is a sent one, no matter what vocation they choose. But I heard kind of the spirit, you know, just whispering to me, how about you serve me full time for a season? And so I jumped in two years later, Meg jumps in and together we started lifting our eyes to what would it look like to go to the world?

Yeah. And honestly, for me, I, when we were dating and really serious, we knew we'd be getting engaged pretty soon. And he was joining staff and I was kind of praying like, Lord, I know that I love ministry. I love being a part of this.

I love what crew is doing. So it's an easy yes. But I also wanted to know, I would love to know, Lord, do you have this for me to, you know, is this what you're calling me to? So I prayed for that.

And I asked for that. And actually, while he was at staff training, I went on overseas mission trip to Italy with crew. And during that time, at the very end, we were kind of debriefing about to come back home. And the Lord just used something that happened in Rome and the verse second Corinthians five that says Christ love compels us that those who live no longer live for themselves, but for Christ who died for them. And I just had this sense of urgency and just taking that to the Lord of, okay, God, I mean, realizing, yeah, I am passionate about this.

You've given me a love for this and a passion for this. And I think that has been so crucial for us through the years that God individually called us both but also together, just as kind of written on our lives, just living, living for him and wanting to say yes to whatever he's calling us to different stages in our life. But when we first got married, we went overseas, actually, after that we were at the University of Mississippi, they placed him back there, which was super nice while I finished school. And then we went overseas to Italy.

That was our partnership at Ole Miss was at the University of Pisa. I do remember though, right before we went, our first touch point with family life was actually right before we went overseas on our one year anniversary, we went to a weekend to remember. And it was an important one because we it layered some things in our lives where we were obviously committed to the Lord, God was moving in our lives. We had a great first year, but I was amazed spending that afternoon at the weekend to remember writing this love letter out through promptings of some things that had been covered that morning going, there's some layers of kind of, they weren't secrets in my life, but they were insecurities in my life of things that I wasn't disclosing to her. It wasn't that I was trying to hide them, it was just that God was really in that weekend showing me, if you want deeper intimacy, keep disclosing, keep going there. You have this bride that we are meant to be more one and draw closer together, even in your insecurities. And it was such a critical moment for us. I remember sharing that love letter with you and you just affirming me in some deep, important ways to go, why am I holding on? Why am I not disclosing this to her?

She loves me, will show grace to me. And it really deepening us in some important ways before we went overseas. I can remember when we went to the weekend to remember conference two weeks before we got married.

And the love letter is a significant part of that conference, isn't it? Because I remember thinking, I shared some things with Dave too of insecurities that I had never shared. And it just exposes the fear, the insecurities, and I think that's exactly where God wants us to go, to be totally exposed, totally known and seen, and you're scared, will I still be loved? And there's something about getting away for a weekend and being guided through it that makes it really safe.

It's not scary because there's that safety of being guided in that process. It sounds like you're setting up a weekend to remember promo. Not intentionally. This is just our story, man. And it's ours too. It is true. You guys are now speakers on the speaker team for Family Life Weekend to Remember.

That's right. We love doing it. I don't know if our listeners know, but this month is a promo. This week, in fact, if you want to sign up for Weekend to Remember, it's half off.

And if you're anything like me, half off is like I'm jumping on that deal right now. And the conference, it's interesting. It's similar to what you went to and we went to, 1980. What was your year?

Ours was 2001. Yeah. And so, but it's a whole new conference. You've done it recently.

It's been updated. Yeah. Yeah.

It's amazingly the same content presented in a fresh new way. And I just say to a listener right now, you're listening to this, you're thinking, we should go. You should go. I'm just going to repeat. You guys, you should go. You have to go. And even if you're apprehensive, just go Friday night and I bet you you're going to stay the weekend.

Go to familylifetoday.com. You can sign up right there. And you can go to any city you want. There's probably one right near you, but pick one and go. Our new spring conferences are starting.

There'll be over 60. So I would say, just as you said, David, there's something about getting away. Those love letters, you're not going to write the love letter. You could at home, but you know, you're busy.

The demands of life are pulling at you kids. This is a time where you can really see each other focus here, God's biblical viewpoint for marriage. Why did he want us or what was God's idea behind marriage? So we really hope you'll go. Yeah, I think one thing that was so was was so significant for us years ago, and we still see so true today about the weekend to remember is the questions and the intentionality that it frames up for you. You're right.

You could sit at home and try to write a love letter, but it what brought those things out were just the content for sure, but even more so just questions that it was asking us to think through that we realized both of us realized like, wow, there are things deep in my heart that you don't know about me yet and that I need to take a step into more intimacy. And we've been to four now as participants and obviously more as speakers, but in those four in different seasons of life, even though the content may be similar, the seasons of life we're in are not. And so God just unearths and His Spirit moves uniquely in each one of our lives in such unique ways.

And it's pretty powerful. I mean, couples come up to us every time we do a weekend to remember and go, hey, you changed the conference. Like, no, we didn't. You're in a different place. So I hear it totally different and that's why you go back, but even now it's a different conference. It really is refreshed.

It is cool. You need to come back. But talk about this. So you're with Family Life now for what, almost three years as the president.

That's right. Talk about what that's been like as a couple, leading a major ministry, not just yourself. I mean, you have the title president, but you really are a team.

Talk about that. We really did get interviewed together. You don't take the Family Life president role and your family isn't part of the interview process and Meg doesn't play significant roles. And we do get to contribute together, which we're grateful for. But it's worth saying most founder transitions don't go like this.

And so often it really does depend upon the founder themselves. And so Dennis and Barbara, they set us up so well. They continue to mentor and coach us monthly or so. And they paved the way. And they really have passed the baton and they passed the baton so well. And we experienced them cheering for us so often and we're so grateful for them. And we don't fill their shoes. We fill the role.

There's no way we could do it just like them. They are so gifted, so unique. Oh, we know.

We're sitting in the well. In the radio seats like, hey, we're divvying up all that they've done. But we get to be a team of voices now. We get to be a team in a unique way for this next chapter of Family Life, which we are so grateful for. And we are so grateful for you, Dave and Ann, for joining the team and for being a part of continuing to carry this baton onward to the next generation of families.

But for us, it really does start right where we left off back in Italy. When we went there, Meg was, I was so attracted to who she was in her relationship with the Lord and the way she served. And she really was a powerhouse for influencing others around her. But I had my own things I was trying to prove. And so we went to Italy and everything that I had built up around me to prove myself as a leader or as a man, those were knocked away. Like I love diving deep with men. And I had this whole chain of discipleship.

And I love the depth of discipling men in their interior world. And you know what? In Italy, there really weren't that many believers to disciple. And to add a little complexity to that is, I didn't know the language and I was really bad at the language.

I learned very quickly, I was the worst on my team at the language. And yet Meg, we discovered, really had this gift of being able to share faith in such a natural way. I was always busy in myself or distracting other parts of the conversation with other people in the room while she was jumping into these conversations in this very secular place like Italy, she would just naturally get into spiritual conversations. And within three months, she was having spiritual conversations in Italian. Like she's the best. That might be a stretch, but... Well, close.

I mean, she was the best on our team at language or one of the best. And I just remember going, Lord, I don't know what all these gifts that I've leaned on. And ultimately I was leaning on the Lord with them, but I was getting a lot of my own dopamine hits out of it, of satisfaction of who I am and my leadership.

God was taking them all away. And he was teaching me in those years we were overseas of the gift I have in Meg and the gift I have of being able to be a team and really getting at some of my pride and my own self-reliance in order to become a team. Because I was in the way a little bit of us becoming a team for Jesus.

I think probably we went into that season and coming out of college and out of David being on staff and me still being a student. I was kind of like the cute little sidekick for him. And I think he probably would admit, and you've said it before, that that's probably how you kind of saw me.

I think I'm the one that originated that phrase. So just like, yeah, I grieve that I viewed you as a bonus sidekick to this mission I'm on. And I think for me too, though, I probably had some insecurities and felt like he was the one with the role of leader and in ministry and things like that. But when we were in Italy, we really did... I mean, we needed each other.

We had different giftings that complimented each other. I mean, I might be able to speak the Italian and he might be able to rally the fun and keep the energy in the room up or whatever. But let's also admit our date nights only in Italian were miserable. That was one of the assignments from the language school. You had to talk in Italian on your date night. Which lasted all of... Well, we tried for a few minutes. All right, let me just hear your commentary and monologue because I mean, I just was so bad at it. Well, you were used to being good at things that you were trying that were new and you hadn't had language since like ninth grade. I like how she's building you up.

It was bad y'all. Anyway, but that year was so formative for us just to really... For me to believe more in who God's made me to be and how he brought us together and... What you've talked about and modeled as a team is inspiring because I think a lot of us men, and I can't talk for the women. The women here will have to say if this is true or not for women or for wives and moms. But for us as guys, I think there's a lot of insecurity in us that we don't realize is in there. Even hinted at it in yourself, David, I know it's been in me and probably still is where I want to be the man and my wife can be viewed even by her own husband. I know Anna's felt this like she's my sidekick.

Like I'm the man, you support me, you make me look good, stand beside me, do whatever you need to do so that I win rather than you're my equal partner, I value you. You know what I'm saying? Have you ever felt that?

I'm not sure. No, I don't think I have because you haven't shown that. You've always given me a place and a voice and I feel like you're encouraging me to be heard. But what I was thinking, Dave, too, is I think some men can be intimidated because I can be pretty strong. And so I've talked to women that feel like their husband has pulled back so far because he feels like he doesn't have what it takes to offer anything, even spiritually especially.

Yeah, and I would just say – I mean, that's definitely true. I would say to the men listening, bring out the best in your wife. She is an incredible, gifted woman that God has blessed you with as your partner. And a question I often ask is, is Anne fully herself because I'm her husband, that I'm bringing that out or am I sort of holding that back or even like pushing her away so that I get the light rather than, man, oh, man, God has given us an amazing ability as a team to thrive together. Whether it's in a Bible study, on stage, you name it, right here, it's like, is her voice being heard? I would challenge the men to say, is your wife's voice being heard by you and by those you're ministering to? And here's how you can find out.

Ask her because she will tell you probably if it's true. And when I've asked you, I mean, when I heard your story right now, I thought, man, you are not where you are today without Meg, and Meg isn't where – it's the beauty of God bringing us together. Two are better than one. The same for us. So it's been an incredible journey.

And I'm hoping that especially men hear this and say, I need to do better bringing out the best in my wife. You think of any team sport, and there's a game plan that the players are all on the same page. They've got the same goal, same objective, and they're pulling in the same direction.

They're trying to accomplish the same thing. God has put us together in marriage as husband and wife to be teammates. And we do help one another in the process of pursuing a common goal or a common vision. I think the question is, in your own life, are you on the same page, on the same team?

And if not, how do you get there? Well, at Family Life, we've helped hundreds of thousands of couples over the years pursue oneness in marriage as these couples have attended our weekend to remember marriage getaways. We host these getaways in cities all around the country. It's a two and a half day weekend where together you learn God's design for marriage and you take positive steps toward a stronger, healthier marriage relationship.

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But we've got to hear from you this week. This special offer expires this weekend. So go online at familylifetoday.com to find out more about the getaway. Find out when we're going to be in a city near where you live, what weekend you should block out so you can join us and then register online or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.

If you have any questions, 1-800-358-6329. Get on the same page as teammates in marriage. Join us at a family life weekend to remember marriage getaway this spring. Again, more information online at familylifetoday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY. Now tomorrow, we're going to hear about the significant role that Ziploc bags play in David and Meg Robbins' marriage relationship.

It has nothing to do with keeping your vegetables fresh, so we'll hear them share about Ziplocs tomorrow. Hope you can tune in. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.