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December 27, 2021 9:00 pm
Men want to do things they feel they can do well. John Yates breaks down the simple nature of prayer and how a man's prayer life blesses his family.
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Before you started the day I just want to say the years almost over how you feel that one year and as the year comes a close. I think our listeners need to know it's a critical moment in the life of family life because you and giving financial giving sustains us to go forward have another incredible year yeah and so I just want to ask you is you think about family life and what we've meant to you and your year and giving the exciting news is we have partners who have matched up to $2 million, which is incredible $2 million, astounding, and so anything you give is can be doubled. But I would really ask you to pray and consider helping us because we can't do what we do without you in the know you have a lot of opportunities to do but manage this ministry is blessed you. I pray that you be a blessing to us and you can just go to family life today.com and make a gift there or just call us at one 800 FL today and say amen I will be a partner and again know your your donations can be doubled in this ministry will continue to thrive and make a difference in your life and others as well so I know this about myself and men that I can't speak for women so and have to do this but I know for me and every guy I know. We hate to do things were not good at all yeah I like history for women to vent is especially high rank IV to three weeks ago I played the worst round of golf cars that I've done.
I'm never this stupid game again. Why do I keep trying to do this 30 years if I just quit, just quit. I'm not close in the back of the car and like I'm just her Bernie saying why do this again. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find firstname.lastname@example.org or on our family life at Stanley life today 10 days later about again and I have my first night I shot Parr never did. I mean I shop RI in front of my life course as you borrow the back night, but I had the best hope was again but I thought as men. I'm sure women are saying ways like we don't like doing things were not good at so we just sort of quit we give up her we moved on to someone else and I thought okay when it comes to prayer. I think a lot of men feel the same way I did about my golf game is like I don't understand it.
I'm not good at it.
My wife's a lot better at it than I am. I'll just let her be the prayer warrior in our family and I just sort of not do it in. From what I've heard from women I hear from a lot of women may struggle because their husbands aren't necessarily leading in that area you just given them an answer like this could be one of the reasons why they struggle. Yeah. And I think for a golf game or for anything else will I need to do any to get a coach I need to learn how to hit a ball which I did it help, but I wanted to train me in prayer, some we don't haven't trained much and so we have a guest in the day you would get a prayer trader. John Yates is with us today.
Welcome back, John. It is great to be with you all get glad I hear you are one of our mentors. You may not know this is Susan for years.
You join the family life team of speakers you a team of us that do the family life. We can remember it all around the country. How long ago and how many years were you on the team well just 20 years is just 20 just like very long, but they were great years for us really, you know we we encourage people to go to the marriage weekend to remember, we know how much impact it has on them. But what they don't know the speaker is speaking to his marriage to absolutely and that was one part of your life up for LC of your life, your pastor of Falls Church and Christchurch Pridgen running. How many years.
40 years and you and Susan have been married how many years 52 years younger than that I do that 21 grandkids. That's right Susan on here last year family today talk about yeah yeah Susan, I mean it was so inspiring to think we've only got six grandkids, but we Artie did our first little cousins can that's great.
Just a couple weekend and it didn't. It was as big as the Yates cousins camp Friday and will get their work. Like I said your mentors does because it's like watching your life is inspiring us young people to copy and finish well and then you revise the book he wrote over 20 years ago got all hell man prays for his family home in Fraser's family. Why did you rewrite it and I know Susan told you to do it but I made you feel like men today need to learn how to pray. Just like they did 20 years ago. Yeah I just felt like this might prompt some more men little bit later on in life to rekindle an interest in prayer and I have heard so many stories from people who love this simple little book SSO guides got up guide to prayer. That's all it is, but I heard so many people say what it meant to them in men studied in small groups like talk about it and there weren't any copies of it around as they were all gone, and so some well let's redo this and like I said many of us as men. I know true for women and wives as well. We need a trainer somebody to help train us so what would you say it's the title your book. How does a man pray for his family. How do I pray for my family. How does a man pray for his family. You know as a parent you do everything you can for your kids, and that you don't expect somebody anybody help you. You do everything you can't but there are a lot of things you can't do and those of the things that you have to turn to God for and ask him to help you with.
I can't change my teenage grandson's attitude about whatever it is you know I I can talk to them but I can change his attitude. Only God can do that and so I think of a minimalist pray for his family. First of all he needs to know what's going on in their lives. For instance, I'm praying for grandchildren now one of my daughters in law whenever one of the children has a birthday she will write us a letter and she will say here are the things that you need to know about this girl's life so that you can pray for her. So she helps me know how to pray because I'm not in Charlottesville. I don't know what's going on for sweet China good idea but is a great thing for parent to do for a grandparent. But another way that you can learn to pray effectively for your family is set aside some time wanting what Susan have done some home holiday every year in late August early September schedule. Going back to school. My wife and I would we would pull away for an overnight go to some hotel somewhere something in the night get some rest and all the next morning we would spend talking about the children. Okay, here's here's my son Chris. Okay.
How old will say he's 17. Right now I'm trying to make a decision about cause. Let's talk about them in Susan, so what do you think are some of the needs that we need to be aware of and Chris's life. So we would think physical needs. What's going on physical you know what what health problems how's he doing in athletics, that sort of thing physical needs, spiritual needs, emotional needs, intellectual needs, we were just sort of talk through that child. She would share what she was seeing I would share what I was seeing. We would like a list of the needs that we saw an art. In this boy's life and goals that we wanted to see accomplished. But they were not goals that we could bring about. Only God could bring them well so that became my prayer list for my soul and all that year and you know the funny thing was, Susan always so much more aware all you need to enter life than I was and I always felt a little bit chagrined but one summer I was able to take the summer off and just be with my family all summer when September came we went away and had a little retreat again. My wife and I was every bit as aware of the needs and my children's life is my wife what was I had been with them as much as she had and the dad's working full-time mother's working full-time. It's really harder to see into the needs of your children's life. But anyway so you try to understand what their needs are and then you try to discipline yourself in some way to bring these family members to God in prayer and ask God to be working in their lives to meet these needs and I'm it's pretty simple but it takes them thought it takes some discipline and it takes some love yeah so analysis talk about okay if that is it different is you think you have a chapter in your book about how man prays for his wife. With that look like yeah in some ways it's a little different because your relationship with your wife is it's closer.
It's more intimate, you know how I can count to be inside each other a little bit and and you you're more aware of internal struggles, and so that helps you to build a pray. Perhaps more wisely but if I want to pray for my wife. Then I have to bring to God. Certain things on her behalf. And so for instance I think about okay, what's your schedule this week. What's going on in her life. What is she doing now so I like this you have to know your wife know what's going on in their life in order to pray specifically for her. Well every wife is like yes I want my has been asking these questions well. You can pray much more helpfully. I think you know what she's doing and it's not just what is owner schedule, but it's also what her concerns are. You know, okay, there she is, it's Monday I'm going off to work. What burdens is she carrying today. I know what Melbourne so what is she curing today is think back in you and your foot well I think she's probably concerned about that she's concerned about that and you pray and you don't have to pray some long prayer you say Lord here is Susan. Now she has this meeting tonight with these young women were coming over and she's hired she doesn't feel too good in these young women are full of questions and they're very needy and they look to her for answers so I just want to pray that you will give her energy for tonight give her strength, give her wisdom. Help her to be able to respond to them as a real mentor and mother that sort of thing you know you ask yourself what what responsibilities is she carrying what things does she have to get done that nobody else knows about but I know about and I know they're waiting on her Lord help her with this. Help her with that. What about her character. What's going on inside God what's going on in her mind about things. Is she fearful is she anxious is she doubting is she feeling overwhelmed you pray about those things to say. Looking at mental, spiritual, physical, like you're looking at all the areas of her life and how you can pray for her teary thinking of someone and especially you Dave praying for me like that and I think probably a lot of wives feel that way. Hopeless understand what what is it that makes you teary. It's that our husbands would know why so well or even their asking those questions may care about what's going on in our hearts, because we all want to be known. We all long to be understood and we all long to be loved unconditionally and to take all of that and take it before God. That's one of the most loving, most powerful things a husband could do for his wife course you can't really pray for your wife, unless you know are in your talking right or near here know since I know just couple weeks ago on I think was a Monday night and was gonna host a women's night for a new ministry that our son is birthing that is in the dream of yours for literally a dream from God about a women's ministry, birthing, and this was like the first day had meetings, but this is the first public and I get asked to speak the same night to a men's group. On the other side of town and so and and you know this that I get on my motorcycle ride across town because it's a beautiful night in Detroit Michigan in the whole time on my bike and print for Anne's night just praying for everything. Details her message since the women being moved and a movement being started in Michigan that we think could be national for women.
I can see right now I'm Stanford all these men at this men's event speaking and during a pause in my message.
I'm praying for in you. I just throw up a prayer). I come home and what all I care about.
I can wait to get home site. I know nobody told you you had to do what she is doing is because you been married.
What 40 Sony when you initially been married almost time. You know, or it's not that hard to pray for no life, and especially as you've log some years together when you think about it you you know what she's dealing with now you love never had this happen because when I got home that night, which was late I come running in the house, he prayed on member. This is she sitting there. She got home before me and I can't go. I remember she was like we talk about later. I'm sorta time that I just was like yeah because when you pray for someone yeah if you feel invested you feel a part of this God and I have been talking about you and your event. And of course we talk about it later but initial bases as I tired. I guy that along with a peak in the darkness that I have been Frazier's wife. I will say that before I laughed and Dave knew this is been on my mind. I've been thinking about.
I haven't been sleeping because I keep going over the details of the evening but it was so sweet that before I walked out the door. He just grabbed me, hugged me and prayed over me, put his hand on my head just blessed me blessed. The night prayed over me. There's so much power in that like I felt like I'm covered covered by my husband's prayers covered by his love for you man. I just want to say that makes us feel seen. It makes us feel cherished and it makes us feel like you really care about our spiritual walk with God in every part of our walk in life… In the name of her women's ministry is heard heard because so many women want to be heard and when a man prays for his wife. I think she feels her lately.
I do so I don't mind is so rare one will think about it too will feel adequate. Three were afraid were will be embarrassed for maybe maybe our faith is pretty weak. But if we can really understand how much it means to our wives we probably would attempt it more frequently and encouraged the whites that are listening if year has been prays for you even if it's a short prayer, even if it's a sentence even if he's prayed for dinner.
Cannot I just encourage you to encourage him just to say thank you like.
It means so much to our family.
When you initiate that prayer like that mean so much to me.
Thank you Don Sable finally or about time right then. Wishing you in a kind of that voice or that tone you call that a prayers to encourage the first step he takes toward prayer just encourage him and pray for him to have that confidence be confident in him when he doesn't have the confidence in himself. Jan you brought your prayer notebook you have any prayers in there that you've written about Susan, can we hear one that you prayed for her and already answer prayer journal between him and now I'm just a note or share with the world as a whole list of things (and in full outlets here that all 1996. Let's see what can I read for her to be encouraged and peaceful about our family and our marriage that God would feed and nourish her in her spirit. God be preparing her for the time when the children are grown all that was not too long before they started leaving. Pray for our relationship with the teacher and her high school. This was a really difficult woman and it's too long a store for me to go into a good prayed over this relationship for 20 years and before this woman died.
We saw amazing answers to prayer in her life. She was one of these teachers used to mock the kids because of their faith in school and then her whole life.
Chandra is a very rare yeah well I go to my wife's purse is the best God to guide her in her writing she was writing, beginning to write some books then and is asking God to control her imagination because she has a pretty wild imagination sometimes gets the better of her pattern of got answered that when you have probably her imagination was from him just that sort of thing you know, I just say to the man when you're praying for members of your family just talk to God to save my God, here's my wife. You know her you know that she's got this concerned about her health.
You got this report the other day. You know she's worried about it or please give her assurance that she should be okay. Help her to feel secure. I can't seem to pull that all you can.
I'm in the it's not as good as the Lord's prayer doesn't care you have on some ways it sounds like you know were we live in the natural world and were asking God to do something supernatural in our natural world. I'm to do everything I can with a love her and communicate with their like you said earlier, I can't change her heart and change my son or daughter's heart. God you have to do that and so I'm going to come to you. Let me ask you this. How often, how many times do you maybe pray the same prayer you know that's a really good question.
Jesus said in the sermon on the Mount. He said you know, knock and the Gobi opened seek and you will find asking we given you, but the way he said it in the original the 10th is ask and keep on asking knock and keep on knocking and and I just think it was foolish to ask for the same thing repeatedly but then I thought about my relationship with my children when they came to me and asked for something.
I was always all that clear how serious they were. How important was doing what it meant to them. But if they came back over and over use of data really need your help with this or whatever.
It's a way that they demonstrate to their father how important something is in their life and so when we bring something to God in prayer and we bring it back again a few days later we bring it back again.
There's no shame in that. There's nothing wrong with that God sometimes God answers prayer by saying yes right now you know sometimes he says you gotta be getting paid. Sometimes he says not now a wise man used to say talk about how God works in response to our needs and he said the lady is not denial. So if God he may say in prayer. You keep asking in my time.
I will do what is right.
Delay doesn't mean denying request I was looking in a little list of prayers that I was praying for my wife back in the early 70s through the briefcase on the way down here. I looked at her, so this back in 1971 I was praying about this particular character trait and I'm not praying about that thing anymore because that part of her change to, but there are other things you know print for 50 years and still not exactly the way I would like you to be so. Then I just remind myself we just think about all the things she's been praying for God to do in your life happened honey. I just found in our kids room was a box that in the evening. Sometimes when they would go to bed. I would just ask for their prayer requests and I would write him a note and I would put them in this little box and forgot all about a sweet thing and I pulled those out just as you talked about earlier. John and I started reading the prayer requests realizing that a majority of those prayers had been answered. Some of them miraculously. It's funny how we can pray something maybe over and over and then we forget about it. But God never forgotten about it and it's so good to do that kind of thing to write down what we paid about because then over the years to look back in St. Guides look at his answers and some of them I remember are one son was praying please Jesus.
I have written this down like what he want me to pay because mom please. I think he was nine years old my family bank Jesus and this is my prayer every night and thinking all this is like being say we just pray that I'm 590 that I can get E1 scholarship in football and I said that not can happen if your 580 is probably not need to be at least 59 so I wrote that down and he's five. Patient afraid of a six-foot one is a ship is as beautiful as about the things because we care about them, but I just think that's always a good idea to write down infarct kids to see that this matters to us that moms writing down my prayer requests or dad is writing this down, this must be significant and important to not only them to guide what you are about praying for Susan to have same thing with your kids got little list of things I was praying for them all the way back to before they were married and you know things are prayed for their mates.
God doesn't always answer the way you wanted to, but many times he does. I would like to make another point about prayer, though one of the things I've come to appreciate is of got a little more time now is prayer is also being still before God and prayer is trying to listen to God. I know you know this but now because I don't have to hurry in the morning and get off. I have more time just to sit with a cup of coffee early in the morning and just sit with God. Just be with God and I will eventually get to those lists, you know, but I found that it's very helpful just to sort of reflecting God's presence on the day before. Think about conversations. Think about what we did give God thanks to sort of go back and re-examine how to handle that. Oh, I need to do something about that make little note no, don't forget to do this and I just found great delight sort of been sitting in the presence of God and reflecting on the day before. Reflecting on the day ahead asking his help on the things that are coming things that are coming up and not being in a hurry so that I'm able to let my mind go in whatever direction it will go and you know every morning your mom goes in different directions, but to do that in the presence of God. I found it to be very just a great blessing and I was coming home from visiting my dad in Ohio.
Driving back home to Michigan and it just last my mom. She was 90 years old. My parents had been married 70 years and down. I remember try this for hours and for the first hour. I remember just talking to God. The whole time telling when I was feeling crying, but there is an intimacy of love that I felt about my heavenly father. Like, and I remember seeing Jesus you are my best friend. I felt and feel about Jesus the way I had first felt about Dave when we were dating. I can't wait to be with you. I can't wait to talk to you. I can't wait to hear what you think about this, or to feel your presence and your power and your majesty in the car and it's that overwhelming sense of peace that discomforted my soul and I thought Lord that's the greatest gift.
Your presence and being able to talk and be in relationship with you is one of the greatest gifts that you give us as your children and I don't have those moments all the time. It doesn't happen every day that periodically and especially when we most need him the power of his presence is so real and tangible God longs for that relationship with us that, as Paul said to pray without ceasing.
That's what it looks like it's Easter with your best friend telling him everything that's going on in your heart with your family with your spouse with your kids, your worries and I love to think and I know that he is intent upon every word and emotion in feeling because he is a loving God cares for us. I'm thinking for me and I think a lot of men are probably feel the same thing I want to get prayer journal goal and I used to do that that I member often I'd write up prayers and then put an L on my little paper and put my pen down helmet. Listen Dennis okay got you say anything you know I always asked what he will me know what you want me to do but to have that in writing. You could even do it digitally if you want to own or whatever. But to have a copy that someday because I'm guessing those prayer journals again end up in your grandkids saying something legacy and they will have a father and grandfather prayed for them so would you prefer I would love to pray thank you thank you that you are father in heaven and that we don't have to do be anything to bring you pleasure father, but because were your children. You take great delight in us.
We want to please you with the way we live the way we speak and the decisions we make habits we develop. So please help us in these parts of our lives and in those areas where we fill you have mercy upon us. Father, please teach us from our failures shows since we need to repent for helpless in our families, with our children and their parents with our spouse help us to be full of wisdom and patience and kindness gives a sense of peace in our home.
We need it. Give us a great sense of humor in our home. We need it and give us assurance that you are with us always. We pray in Jesus name will I know I have been challenged and equipment by John Gates this week talking about how men are to pray for their families. And I love the fact that John has been very specific in telling us about the patterns in the habits that he cultivated in his life. The book is written how a man prays for his family is a guidebook for us as men. In fact, this is a great book for guys to together and go through with other men and really challenge one another hold one another accountable to be more disciplined in praying for our families and as we engage with God in prayer more regularly to sit back and say, look what God is doing because I going to him and asking all the Bible says we have not because we asked not overlook how God is changing me because of the time I'm spending with him again. You can order a copy of how a man prays for his family. When you go to our website. Family life to the.com or call to request your copy number is one 800 FL today at one 803 586-329-1800 F peasant family L as in life than the word today. Forgive my mind that family life to the.com now with Christmas behind us were starting to look ahead to the new year.
I'm starting to think about what's ahead for us in 2022.
Family life. There's a lot that we are hoping to be able to accomplish ministry was in the year ahead. But we have to wait really until we see what happens in the next few days because so much of what were able to do in any given year is determined by what happens in the last days of the previous year. This week many family like today listers will be considering giving a year and contribution and what ever we received this week will play a big role in determining what were able to do with the year ahead.
So were asking family like today listers. If God has used this ministry in your life in 2021. If you want to see us continue to advance with practical biblical help and hope for marriages and families in 2022. Would you make as generous a contribution as you can today and here's the good news.
Whatever amount you contribute is good to be matched dollar for dollar with a matching gift fund and we've not reached the amount in that fund yet so whatever donation you make will be matched dollar for dollar up to a total of $2.3 million. Help us take advantage of this matching gift fund make your donation today. When you do will send you a devotional for the year ahead a book called in the Lord. I take refuge, hundred and 50 devotions from the book of Psalms by Dana Portland.
That's our thank you gift when you make a urine donation you can do that easily online that family life to.com or you can call one 800 FL today to donate. We do hope to hear from you and we hope you'll pray for us that there were able to meet our funding goal here this week. We also hope you can join us again tomorrow when were to talk about how real change happens in our lives, how God uses his word and his spirit to transform us.
Dana Portland is going to join us tomorrow to talk about that. We hope you can join us as well on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson and Bob Lapine will see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life to the production of family accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most