Work at Home Matters

When you were a stay-at-home mom, did you ever feel like what you were doing wasn't important? Especially coming out of ministry and then deciding to stay at home.

And I did some stuff part-time. But I just felt like, am I really impacting the world for Jesus right now? I did have that thought. Do you feel like a lot of moms feel that way or even stay-at-home dads?

Yeah, I think so. Because it feels so monotonous and mundane. It feels like, really, I've just cleaned up vomit or I've changed 20 poopy diapers.

It feels like, is this kingdom work? And we're going to talk about that a little bit. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson. And I'm Dave Wilson, and you can find us at familylifetoday.com or on our Family Life app.

This is Family Life Today. We've got Courtney Ricek with us today, and you wrote a book sort of about the, you call it, Glory in the Ordinary, why your work in the home matters to God. So we're really glad to have you here with us, Courtney.

Thanks for having me. I just even like the title, Glory in the Ordinary. Yeah, I mean, you're an author, you're a Bible teacher, you work with risen motherhood, you've got four kids married to a guy from Finley, Ohio, our hometown. So it sounds like you're not a stay-at-home mom that just, you know, does the ordinary thing. You're doing a lot of different things, but you wrote a book about feeling that.

In fact, you opened the book with a story about sitting beside a businesswoman on a plane, and she asked you what you do. Yeah, well, so when I wrote the book, I was primarily work in the home. And so, and I still do, so I work from home. I always joke that my husband and I are like the prairie people because he works from home too.

You know, like we're like the modern prairie people. So you're saying you work from home before COVID? Before COVID, yes.

Because everybody feels like they work from home. But you did before. Yeah, I started my job as a motherhood in the middle of COVID. And so I just did like freelance writing and just writing books. And so I would start something and then I would pull back. And I had a lot of flexibility of like, oh, I don't want to write a book or write an article or do anything.

I needed a break. My kids were younger, and so I didn't feel right. It didn't fit for our family because before COVID, my husband traveled a lot. So right now, we both work from home. So we are primarily in the home all the time. Are your kids at home as well? Are they at school?

They're at school. Okay. So my youngest one only goes to preschool two days a week.

All right. So when I wrote this book, I had just had my third son when I got the contract for this book. So I wrote it throughout his whole first year of life. So you were in it. I was in it. And your oldest are twins. Yes, twins. So I had two two-year-olds, and I had a three-week-old baby when I got that contract. Now when you say I was in it, hands over here, like you two know what in it means. It's a language we know, yeah. Every mom knows that. Yeah.

Well, what is it? Well, I had three children two and under, so I was in diapers, three kids in diapers. I had three kids who were in car seats.

There's no such thing as a triple stroller at the time that I knew of. And there's no time to yourself. None. You're watching your kids 24 hours a day. Right. Making sure they're safe. They can't be alone.

They're not really playing on their own that much yet. No. And so you have no time to yourself. When you're in the bathroom, the kids are in the bathroom. Right.

You can barely take a shower. Right. So thankfully my third son was a very easy baby and slept through the night pretty quickly. That's good.

That helped. I felt rested, as rested as you can feel with small children. What was so hard for me is when I had children, I wanted to stay home with them, but I've never been someone who is what I would call a good housewife. I always joke that my husband is a better housewife than me. And he'd be probably a really good homeschool dad.

Like he would just be really good. He's just really good at those types of managing types of things. I mean, I would read books to my kids all day if I could, but I just don't, I don't like cleaning. I love cooking. So that's easier for me to get my mind around of like why that matters. But the cleaning and organizing and, and I understood why children matter. Like why taking care of your children matters.

Like that, I love them deeply. When you say the ordinary, you're really talking about taking care of the home. Right. The housework. It just was just hard for me to wrap my mind around why it mattered. And well, the impetus behind the book was that my husband had transitioned into out of thinking he would go into full-time vocational ministry and continued working as a businessman and has continued all this time in doing it. And so we had to come to terms with why does work in general matter? Like why is, is work that's not just paid vocational ministry work? Why is other work matter to the Lord?

So both of us were on this journey of figuring out why does it matter? Why does it matter that you are a businessman and how's that honoring to God and how can you honor the Lord? And so we had to come to terms with what does it mean to be an image bearer of God? And then because we're image bearers of God, we are also called to work.

We see that in, in Genesis. And so you're not even talking about just stay-at-home moms. You're talking about all of our work that seems so ordinary and how we can bring glory to it. At the same time though, as you get on an airplane and she asks you what you do.

So, you know, what did it make you feel when you're trying to tell her, I stay at home? Right. So I would often struggle with, do I, because I had written a book already prior to that point. I'm an author. I'm an author.

Yeah. But then you also have to deal with, well, what kind of author are you? I'm a Christian author. And it's like, oh, do I want to talk about Jesus right now? I mean, it's, I mean, honestly, I mean, everyone struggles with that, right?

I mean, you're on an airplane and it's like, do I want to just put my earbuds in and watch a show? Or do I want to talk about the gospel and true confession? That's, that's hard. And so for me, I always have to struggle with, there's no easy answer. I either say I'm in some form of Christian ministry, I write a book or I stay home with my children primarily. But neither of those are respected by a woman in a business suit sitting next to me. And so I did struggle with it.

How do I explain what I do all day? And then the woman looked at me. You see, I write books about finding glory in the ordinary and she'd be like, what is that? She'd love it actually. Yeah.

And what I struggled with is she came, she then came back to me and said, I couldn't do that. I would get bored all day. And I was like, well, I kind of get bored too, so, you know, like I kind of get a little bored sometimes. But it was a good reminder to me that the reason why we do work, I sometimes call this hidden work, the work that nobody sees, but the work that upholds the society. The reason why we do this hidden work is not because maybe we all aspire to it. Some people love it. Like some people love organizing and cleaning and I'm so glad I'm friends with them. But we do this work because it brings glory to the Lord. And He created us as image bearers and as image bearers of God, we are called to bring order out of chaos and to exercise dominion over the world that He has made. And so if you don't take the sheets off the bed after a kid throws up on them or pees the bed on them and wash them, then illness spreads throughout the house.

I mean, you think prior to us learning what hygiene was in the modern world, people routinely died from things that could have been prevented just because someone didn't clean it. And these things that we do every day are actually not only imaging God, but are sustaining life and caring for people. So when I make mac and cheese for my boys, and when they ask me, will you make mac and cheese for lunch? And I'd rather do peanut butter and jelly because it's way easier.

And they ask for that. I'm feeling a hungry belly. I'm not only feeling hungry belly, so I'm the image bearer who's showing them what God is like and that God gives good things. And God gives us good things like mac and cheese and because I like mac and cheese. I know, I really sometimes wish I didn't like the mac and cheese.

I'm like, I'll just eat mac and cheese with you, it's fine. Can you take us back to Genesis 3 about how God gives us work? Talk about that. Right, right.

Yeah. So in the garden, God created Adam and Eve and then he gave them a job to do. He says, God created male and female in his own image, in the image of God he created them. And then goes on to explain the creation mandate, which is go be fruitful and multiply, exercise dominion and bring order out of chaos and fill the earth.

Sometimes we see this only in the form of marriage and having children, which is a good explanation of that. But also, God gave them jobs to do. And then you see throughout scripture elsewhere, when in creation, God created out of nothing.

And we don't do that. We always are creating with raw materials that God created, but as his image bearers, as the ones who are telling a story what he is like, we take the things of this world that he has created and then go make more things to bring glory to him, but then also to love the world that he has made. And I love the story in, I think it's in Exodus where I don't know how to holy ab and there's another guy, I can't say it's in Exodus, the bee. And they are the ones who are creating the things to go in the tabernacle. And it says that the Lord gave them skill and then give them like joy in the works. It says he anointed him with the Holy Spirit.

Yes. And with skill to create things that they were artisans. So there's just so much in our work that brings glory and honor to him.

So whether you're in the home doing laundry, or you're mowing the grass, or you're cleaning out the refrigerator, the mold that grows in the refrigerator, because again, people could get sick. You're loving other image bearers or you're like my husband who works in the medical industry of selling operating room equipment, selling life-saving equipment so that people's lives can be sustained. This work brings glory and honor to the Lord and tells the world what he is like and as Christians who are in whatever sphere that they find themselves in, it's good work. And even if it's hidden work. So my work looks a little different now that I work part time. But most of my kids are in school and our life just looks so different. I'm not in the trenches with little children at home. It's weird now that I sometimes have the opposite effect now where I'm like, but I mostly stay home and I am deeply invested in my home and I deeply invested in my kids. And- Courtney, you are still in the trenches.

I know I am. But when you look at the age of your kids, I'm like, oh no, those are still hard years. They are hard years. They just feel so less hard, you know, when they're like a herd.

They move into new seasons together because they're also close in age. But- Well, I remember my mom was a stay-at-home mom, four of us, and she loved being at home. She loved cooking, she loved cleaning, and she always had this attitude of, I get to do this. Yes. And I remember thinking, are you kidding?

This seems like it's doing nothing. And yet she would sing. She was so happy, and she would make dinner, and she'd say, come and help me.

This is going to be so fun. And then I remember her teaching me how to clean and dust, and she goes, you're going to be the best little duster ever. Oh, yeah. She had me cleaning the bathroom when I was four.

And she's still amazing. That's a good motivation for me to have my kids do that. Yeah. I mean, it was just her attitude. Like, look what we get to do today. And it wasn't that I grew up in a Christian home, but her attitude about work, my dad had it too. Like, we get to do this.

We get to learn how to work hard. And now when you put a biblical context to that, this brings glory to God. When our kids were little, with three boys growing up, our bathrooms, I'm just saying, they were gross. Yes, it's very gross. It's gross. And I can remember cleaning around the toilet, thinking, this is the grossest thing ever. It's so gross.

Yes. Or the wall. Every time I clean the bathroom, I'm like, I got to get the wall and the floor. And I remember as I'm cleaning and I have this bad attitude, like, this is just gross.

And I can't wait for them to get older that they're going to be cleaning this. And then I had this thought, like, this is worship, which is like, I remember having that thought, like, wait, where did that? That's not even true. And yet when we do it unto the Lord, our mundane acts can bring glory to Him, because we can do it for Him as an act of worship, especially when no one sees. We're doing it for Him, like, Lord, this seems like monotonous and dumb and horrible. And yet I'm doing it for You.

And then it has a different meaning to it. And I felt like He's cheering me, like, you go girl, like, look at you cleaning those toilets. Yes. And not everyone has different, like, standards of cleanliness and, like, desires, but my husband feels deeply loved when things are really clean. Oh, really? Yes.

So does this husband. Do you? Yes.

Oh, yeah. He feels really loved and he feels really, he can relax when it's clean. Is that pressure? No, because he likes to clean too. So sometimes he, it's been a little bit of a process in our marriage of me being like, are you judging me right now that you're cleaning and I'm not? Or are you, he's like, no, I just like it, I just wanted to. So it's been helpful, but he likes to clean, but it has helped me, especially when he was it would travel a lot to think in terms of he'll be able to rest when he comes home if it's clean. I can live with a little bit more mess than he can, clutter than he can. But it's funny as we've morphed, as we've been married long enough, we started to morph into the same person.

And so I wanted more cleanliness than being married to him than I used to prefer. So you know, I know that one of my favorite passages in scripture, and it's just a simple passage. And I think it's so powerful to me because when I was, I came to Christ in college, I was a college athlete, football player, and the guy who led me to Christ, one of the first things he did when he discipled me is he said, let me give you a perspective on how you play football.

And I remember thinking, well, what, and this guy wasn't an athlete. So I was like looking at Bill, like, what do you, and he goes to Colossians 3 23, memorized it years ago. It's like, whatever you do, do your work heartily as for the Lord, not for men, knowing that from the Lord, you will receive a reward. And I remember Bill teaching me, what you do on a football field matters from a glory standpoint, your title, glory in the ordinary. It's like, oh no, it matters to people like sports and maybe this college, and it does pay for my education.

No, no, no. He's saying to the Lord. And it wasn't how many touchdowns you throw or score. It was how you do what he's given you to do. And so it elevated, like, it got rid of the secular spiritual dichotomy.

It was like everything's spiritual. You know? And so if you understand the Lord has given you gifts and he's put you in this role, do it for the Lord, not for men. You're not even playing for this university. I used to teach Detroit Lions, who are followers of Christ. You're not playing for an owner.

You're not playing for the fans of Detroit. You're actually playing for the Lord. So whether you're watching film, whether it's Monday and you're practicing or it's Sunday and you're playing, because, you know, we elevate the game to, like, it's the most important. It's like, no, everything you do actually really, really matters. And when you have that perspective, whether it's a stay-at-home mom, a plumber, a medical salesman, a teacher, you name it, that changes your perspective.

It's like, oh, I do this unto the Lord. And it's a gift from God to be able to work. Work's not a curse. No, it's a blessing. It's a blessing. Right. I love what you say, Courtney. You say, everyone wants a revolution. Right.

Nobody wants to do the dishes. It's what you're saying, Dave. Like, you want the game day. It's the practice that feels mundane and ordinary. And it's that faithfulness in the ordinary that is actually, eventually leads to greatness, not maybe in the world's eyes. God's after our faithfulness and he's after our obedience. And whether that's like writing a book or disciplining my kids and having a hard conversation about an attitude or something, those things are honoring to him because people matter to him because they're created in his image. And so, whether it's one person or 5,000 people, they all matter to him.

And I love that. It makes me think of that, of the Eric Little quote where he says, when I run, I feel his pleasure. I just finished reading his biography to my boys. We read biography.

I read them a biography on Sunday, so we just go through like Christianographies, yeah. And whether he was on the mission field or whether he was on a track, he was, his heart was always to honor the Lord and to be faithful to the Lord. And that's what I hope my boys learn and that's what I want to model for them is that my work is valuable. And we were trying to instill that. And then with Cleaning Now where, because one of the things I talk about in the book too is that we're all contributors, that we are all contributors to the work of the home. And so, whether or not you're three or you're almost 40, everyone has a job to do.

So, you're part of this home and it's a member of this home. Sometimes you don't like it. Sometimes work just feels really boring and hard and it's still good work though. And that's how a lot of our work is.

It's boring and hard and monotonous. I remember when we started our church in 1990, a long time ago, I remember walking in a restaurant like the second year in the city where we had started and I'm sitting down. I don't think you were with me, but after a while, the owner of the restaurant came over. He said, hey, are you Dave Wilson?

I go, yeah. He goes, could I have a word with you for a minute? And so, he sort of walks me out to this little hallway and I'm like, am I in, you know, it felt like I'm in trouble.

And he goes, hey, one of the guys that works for me, he's actually a busboy at the restaurant, goes to your church. And then I'm like, oh no, what's he going to say? You know, what did he say?

You thought it was negative? Yeah. I thought, what did this guy do?

So, I said, okay. And he goes, let me tell you something. I've never seen a kid work like this. He's like 17 years old. He shows up early. He stays late. He helps everybody. He's so kind. He does his work with excellence. He just amazing. And I'm looking at him like, okay, that's great.

Why is he? I don't know who the kid is, you know? And he looks at me and he goes, are all the people at your church like that? That's a blessing, yeah. I mean, I'll never forget it because I'm like, that's how Christians should work. You know, where people are like marveled by how they do what they do.

Now, I don't know this kid and I'm hoping that he's a Colossians 3 23 guy. Like whatever I do. If I'm a best boy, if I'm going to school, whatever it is, it's like, I am reflecting God to people and I'm going to work as though my boss is not this, you know, restaurant owner.

So, I thought, what a beautiful thing. If that would be said about people in the church, stay at home moms, stay at home dads, you name it. My goodness, people would be coming to church.

They would be. Because work represents that, yeah. I remember writing in my journal one day and I shared this. I think I read this at the weekend to remember how it was just one of those days with five boys under five, had an ear infection, somebody had a cold.

It's just you're grinding it out and the day feels like it goes on for a million years. And I wrote in there, I'm so tired of the mundane days. And then a few days later I was reading and all of a sudden I write this, CJ said, can we keep praying for Austin, who is only three? And I said, what do you want to pray? He said, I just want to pray that he gets into heaven. Because we had explained the gospel, we had explained the need for a savior and sin and separation. And he said, I just don't want Austin to be an old man and to die and not have Jesus in his life.

So, we need him to pray, mom, so we can all get to heaven. And I just wrote in my journal that day, like, among the mundane comes the miraculous. And I think that's true for us.

Every day we may be grinding it out and God is seeing, like, sometimes I wonder if he's waiting to see our faithfulness in the ordinary before he gives us the revolution. Right, right, right. You know, like, oh, can I trust them with this incredible call? And sometimes it takes that just doing the things when nobody sees, which Dave reminds me of you in the lion's locker room. Yeah, I'm thinking about you helping all the trainers rip off the jerseys at the end of the game. Yeah, not the trainers, but the equipment guys, you know, just realizing their job is a dirty, thankless job, you know, nobody even sees them doing it and helping them out. And I tell you what, those equipment guys were never interested in coming to Chapel, the little sermon I give before the game, until I started serving beside them.

And they never expected a guy that has a different job to do their job. Right, right. You just volunteered. You just started doing it. Yeah, I just started doing it. And they actually looked at me when I started doing it, like, dude, what are you doing?

And then next thing I knew, they became my friends and I became their friend. Again, it's what you're saying. There's the ordinary things that happen every day and jobs and the mundane. And when you can step back and get God's heart on it, that there's really glory in this. I got to tell you this story. I've never forgotten a preacher preached this, a buddy of his was a contractor on his house. So they're building his house and he said, he talked to his buddy, I think his name was Bob. And he said, dude, I'm sitting on your front slab, you know, and it's going terrible and things aren't showing up. And he goes, I'm literally having a pity party. I'm sitting on the front slab and I'm hating my job and guys were inside trying to get things done, but it's just a bad day and I'm not enjoying this.

And I'm really upset. And he goes, all of a sudden, this pickup truck rolls right out in front of your house. And you know, there's no yard yet, it's just dirt. And he goes, this loud music's playing and this dude gets out of this pickup truck and he's like, who is this guy? And he starts walking right toward him sitting on the front. And he's super happy. Yeah, he's happy, singing and loud music. He had tattoos on his arm. He goes, who is this guy?

We haven't, we don't expect anybody to show up and help us today. And he walks up and he goes, hey, where's your port-a-john? He goes, it's in the back. He goes, I'm the port-a-john cleaner.

I'll see you in a minute. He goes, okay. You know, the guy goes back there and he goes, we, you know, all the workers like watch this guy because he was full of this joy. And he goes in there and he goes, he's banging around and saying, boom, he's in there longer than anybody's ever done it. And he comes out and he looks, he goes, he looks at me and he goes, dude, whoever used to clean that port-a-pot, he did a really bad job. Let me tell you, I'm going to take care of you from now on.

It's going to be perfect. And Bob said, I looked at him and he said, okay, sounds good. And he goes, he turned to go to his truck and he turned around and he goes, cause I work for the Lord.

Oh, that's amazing. And he gets in his truck and he says, as he blares away, he hears worship music blaring out of this truck. And Bob said, he told this preacher, he goes, he goes, dude, there I am sitting there, you know, complaining about my life because I'm a contractor and things aren't showing up. And there's a guy who's a port-a-john cleaner who probably at his high school graduation did not think I'm going to be, you know, but there he is. And he saw glory in the, you talk about the ordinary, that's below ordinary. That's just gross. And why do I tell that story?

I've never forgotten that illustration. I'm like, oh man, I complain every day, whether it's diapers or toilets, like God has given us an opportunity. It's right in front of us.

It's very ordinary. It may be very hard and he says, whatever you do, do your work for me, not for men. And I can bring something into the middle of your mess. So thanks for your book. It's a reminder and I think something to challenge us all to say what we do matters.

Exactly. So thanks for having me. So the next time you're opening a box of mac and cheese or waiting in the carpool line or going through the mundane of keeping a family together, just keep in mind that what you're doing has an eternal purpose. God is using those moments to shape not only your life, but the lives of your children.

There is glory in the ordinary. That's the name of Courtney Rice's book. It's a book that we've got in our Family Life Today Resource Center. It helps remind us of the value of all that we do, that God is present in those moments.

He's at work in all of life. You can get a copy of Courtney's book, order it from our website, go to familylifetoday.com and order there or call if you'd like to order a copy. Our number is 1-800-FL-TODAY.

Again Courtney Rice's book is called Glory in the Ordinary. You can order it online at familylifetoday.com or call to order at 1-800-358-6329. That's 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. You know, here at Family Life there are the voices you hear every day, Dave and Ann Wilson. There are the people who work behind the scenes here at Family Life to make this daily program, this podcast available.

And then there's a whole group of people who are ultimately responsible for all of us being able to listen to the conversation that Dave and Ann and Courtney had today. And that would be those of you who contribute to the ongoing work of this ministry, especially our legacy partners, those of you who give monthly to ensure that Family Life Today is able to continue in our mission. We are so grateful for all of you who as listeners have joined the team and are helping us reach more people more often because of your financial support, helping us effectively develop godly marriages and families. If you have never joined that team, if you've never made a donation to support the ongoing work of Family Life Today, and if God has used Family Life Today in your life in any kind of a significant way, can I challenge you to go online, make a donation or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate? Be part of paying it forward.

Help others with the same kind of help you've received. If you can do that this week, we'd love to send you a copy of a book by Trevin Wax, a book we talked about earlier. It's all about rethinking the idea of self. What's the foundation of our identity and how can we live authentically before God? It's a great book for parents and teens to read through together, and it's our gift to you when you make a donation this week to support the ministry of Family Life Today.

You can donate online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. We look forward to hearing from you. Thanks in advance for partnering with us here in the ongoing work of Family Life Today. Now, tomorrow we're going to hear from Dave Wilson about what it is that defines a man as a godly man and how an understanding of that can reshape who he is as a husband and as a dad. The importance of looking vertical before we look anywhere else as men, Dave will talk about that tomorrow. Hope you can be with us for that. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Anne Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. See you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a production of Family Life, a crew ministry, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.