Put Away the Bad

How you be really interesting if we could like hold back the curtain and see behind the scenes what's happening really happening at a wedding. I know where you're going with this, because you're thinking if we could see all the baggage the bride and groom are bringing into this marriage and we would all be scared. Welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and will send Dave Wilson and you can find us@familylifetoday.com or on our family life. This is family life today.

Groom euro always got three or four bags and a carry-on in a backpack and the wife and is walking down the bride mean: this bag behind her. I read of the me never what happened but the truth is that bride would have more in the groom, or vice versa. I know I had more in our marriage. I brought on the whole airplane cargo section. Now you know when you get very we did know now.

We were standing there just smile and this can be the best. The easy is the most wonderful wedding marriage in the world and we were bring in some stuff. I think if we see all of that we would be petrified and yet marriage were getting rid of things all the time like I should bring that in a 90 to get rid of that or I need to put some new things on yeah and I think the most important things. First of I got identify what bags you're carrying and bringing and then you get to make this an intentional choice to say okay one by one under put these away so they we get to hear a message just about that was given by Robin and Ray McKelvey on the family life love like you mean it. Virtual cruise which means we didn't really get on a boat. We pretended we are on a boat, but the good news is we get to get on a boat in 2022 because were going cruise again.

The lovely crews will be happening on the season. You can sign up right now and you better sign up because we get deals go until June 28, so sign up a family life to.com so they give a message not so much about stated at a wedding altar with baggage, but in our in our walks with God. We all are carrying stuff and we have to put that off and put on something and so they use a close analogy I tell you what I think I can dress they can dress there. So fine I love Ray I love Robin Ray is actually graduate of Dallas seminary and he's a church planter started to churches and he's currently the lead pastor at Christ of the nation's church in Nashville and we've done some speaking with them because they had been speaking for family life we can to remember conferences for over 25 years and they're really fun. They also do women and men's retreats. And here's the here's the thing is pretty amazing, happy, ready 10 kid kids lost three grandsons and I had a houseful and so they had a great time probably get away from some of those kids to give this message on the virtual cruise and you're really going to love it. What we want to talk about something very practical in this call getting dressed, getting dressed in the morning.

All of us get dressed were or you get dressed to go workout you get dressed for bed and basically what you're doing is not your text. Basically what you're taking off the stink of the day and you're putting on something that's fresh and it's so easy for us to physically do that we take take care of our faces inherent everything we brush our teeth so her breath isn't so bad is it anyway. We do that on purpose so that when we greet the world. The world is not turned off. I was a book written in 1975 called dressed for success. I don't know some of you will be old enough to actually remember that book dress for success, John Malloy.

I think that's what you pronounce his last name. He wrote this book and he talked about how what you put on really says a lot about you and so he was teaching people how to dress so that they were treated really in a certain manner. Now dress for success really has morphed into a different type of nonprofit ministry that was birthed in 1997 by a lady named Nancy Lubin Lublin, and she provides a read that she provides professional attire to low income women to help support job searches in the interview process. So when I read that I thought that is so great because they're teaching us how to dress on the outside for success and how to get a job how to make the interview with Robin. I want to talk about today is how to dress for success in your your marriage how you get dressed in such a way of relating to each other that your marriage is successful, so we look at Colossians chapter 3. So if you have your Bibles with you. This is a devotional, so grab your Bibles or your devices must keep our Bibles in our devices with us to clashes.

Chapter 3 and read in verse eight through verse 13 says, but now you must put them all away while in this is Paul talking to the church if we apply this to our lives, our families differently so we must put them all away and he tells us what anger, malice, slander, and obscene. Talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being read in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek or too circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian slave, free, but Christ is all and in all and click on the as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you almost most must forgive.

As Robin is reading that passage reminds me, you know, we look at these verses and the Bible is telling us how to live as believers will put off or to take off and what to put on as we relate to each other. But here's what I find a lot of times, as believers, we don't apply it to our spouse. We look at this and we all know how I treat people on the outside and often which we people on the outside better than we treat the person that I'm committed to the wife of my covenant, and so what we want to do now is read this passage one more time, but this time I don't what you think of how you can live this on the outside but lived just inside your marriage.

I will have a mind shift, not just how I live this in front of my church friends how I live. This in front of those on the outside but how I live this way. If my spouse solicit the mindset change as we read this, but now you must put them all away. Anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another thing that you have put off the old self and its practices put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.

Here, there is no Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised barbarians that the enslaved free but Christ is all and all put on as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord is forgiven you, so you also must forgive. So let's jump in to the specifics.

Okay, what would like for you to imagine with us is when you get dressed in the morning some things that you take off usually dirty things and then there some things that you put on so we can relate this to the things that we need to take off as believers to let our light shine even in front of our spouses, so make sure that you understand put off. We talk about this put off is that you take it off you and all you take it off like it's a bunch of dirty clothes and I'm going to tell you I know all about dirty clothes so this is so good. This idea of of casting out what it says to put away from you is that I did take it off as a dirty garment you throw it away. In Romans 13 is just a cast off his use that same work at the works of darkness. Ephesians 4. Take off your old self, or put away the old self. Ephesians 425 put away falsehood. All of these things just remind us is something that's dirty dirty piece of clothing and you want to take it off okay and I get back to church because over the years I tens of thousands of blokes I usually do at least even now, when our houses down to just four of us between sheets and towels and I'm still going to mow the laundry every week and so I do my son.

He's 12 years old. I love them to death, but I hate this part one is wonderful always close my put them on his bed in there so many times that he gets the clean clothes, mixing with the dirty clothes and so the only way for me to tell the clean clothes from the dirty clothes is this tell you one thing, it is not a pleasant smile K dirty things on you are not pleasant. Get to the website where some of the things that we absolutely must take the first one to talk about his anger. The Bible says cast off this anger. This anger has to do with the simmering that kind of anger that you do over, you may not have even expressed it, you can send it to your spouse something that you're holding onto the idea of resentment of being angry in the sense of that, even when your spouse hasn't done anything necessarily wrong, they just do a small thing because you not dealt with the anger and it's been simmering on the inside.

You just have this bitterness and resentment and so the Bible tells us to take this off so this anger, you gotta get rid of it don't keep up with you so you take it off the next thing that really talk about his and it is similar to anger, but it's different this anger that is built up. It is like you keep thinking about is something that you this like a simmering pot of boiling water for UT you that that pot. Simmer and simmer and simmer and boils over and it takes on an explosion and this is galley name-calling and there's something that you have to do when it comes to wrath well before I mentioned this part of wrath. I think about how we didn't discuss this, that first type of anger that I said to put off. I struggle with that more I struggle more with that internal anger that I mean it just simmers there but this wrath. That's more explosive hello I guess good business to devotional what we do take off the wrath you don't keep it on. You get rid of it.

You throw it away like it's dirty laundry in one of the things some times you know people have to tell you, you stinky, so if your husband comes up to you and tells you that you have this explosive anger don't go ranging you make. Make sure you take it to heart. He's telling you because when it comes to husband and wife you want each other to look more like Christ. And so Christ is telling these things. I'll take a mom drove away their dirty laundry. They make you stink so it's anger, wrath, and then uses this word malice and it is not hard to describe but is the idea that malice is the foundation of all this anger is actually the desire to get the is the desire to get back is the desire that drives all of this and so he's saying not only I want you to get rid of the foundation of all that anger and its it's almost like we live in a time where we believe we have so many rights.

I don't know about you guys is is good to be on this virtual cruise because I need a vacation from all of the issues that are happening in our world. It's so often we are expressing anger of wrath and malice in our culture and our politics and are wearing a mask or not wearing them as our relationship with each other and it's interesting to me that the foundation of all of this is malice.

It that idea of a desire to hurt someone, a desire to get back to get even. And so the Bible is telling us that you need to get rid of.

Don't let it hang out with you. You get rid of this malice casted off to take it off. Yes, the first three we just talked about. Which by the way guys you know, I'm glad to get rid of all, I felt so much like that. I'm not as hot but these first three attitudes had to do with this and resentment. A lot of it is the express go into what we say and so Robin started on that okay and then the other things that the Bible tells us to take off begins with slander and a lot is going to be able to say that slander is asking for prayer request over really not asking for prayer request were talking bad about someone that slander talking evil about your spouse to other people, and God is telling us to take it off. It's important that the evil. This is the part that used to be who you were and got a sandwich no longer that person will no longer will we used to be where new creatures, so slander has to go, but let's keep that on Jespersen because I just had a thought who is the father of slander because the Bible talks about how Satan is the accuser of the brethren that he's a slanderer and sometimes a slanderer is the one who whispers lies in our ears and slandering our spouse, which I don't know if we know that we do that, but to slander our spouses were calling them names we are sharing information about them that would make them look bad or to hurt them.

So anyway I just thought that is a list slander we have to take some of these close to take the next one that the Bible says that we need to get rid of is seen talk. We all know if this ES this is that filthy language shameful.

It's abrasive is calling names sometimes are we just and we are belittling our spouse and is easy for us to do that.

But the Bible tells us we used to be, and now where new and so we can't take this obscene language that we have between each other. It also says that we need to have language that builds the other Mary language to be filled with grace, so that those that hear it are renewed, and that's the kind of language that God is telling us to put on this obscene language is used to be before we knew Christ and so he's telling us also to take it off as we think about all this, there's anger, wrath, malice, slander, obscene talk, which is shameful and there's one that were missing.

We need to take off the assembly I tell you, in several passages in God's word. He tells us to be people who are honest with one another to not lie in it so easy for the father of lies to tell us to do. It won't hurt anybody. It hurts your relationship so is important that you not line. This is one of the things that the Bible says that we need to put off. He tells us to be characterized by true and so the only way to do that is you take off the lies reasons for now.

I studied this in Colossians my studied it in Ephesians Ephesians 425 says this thing therefore, having put away falsehood, lies that each one of use the truth with his neighbor. That's your family and we are we are members one of another.

So we need to put away or take it off. These falsehoods so hello cruisers before you can get dressed with what is right, the Bible tell us what to put off and I think this is so convicting in my own life with my relationship with Robin that you know what I wake up in the morning or as I'm going through the day that in my own natural flesh. I wanted to there might be some ways in which she hurt me or that I heard her and and were commanded that you put away the anger that simmers you put away that wrath that explodes you put away that malice, that really demands its right and and wants to get even and that you put away that slander is talk where really you trying to make responsible back to other people. You put away that obscene talk calling names. I don't know what you guys to fill in the blanks.

There and then to put away line, to be honest people, but that's not all I don't end there. That would just be half the story. I think so many times in our marriages.

We just want to know what will I need to stop doing just give me a list of what I shouldn't do, but that's only half the story. I love the fact that there are things that we are to put on listening to Ray and Robin McKelvey the message they gave him the love I commuted virtual crews, emotional great way to start your day. Have a devotional with Ray and Robin yeah I think it's only halfway done. As I said, you know, it's like this is what we put off. Which by the way, I don't know if I can do that, you know, when you're stuck in anger or you know you just you just in the grip. It's like we need. Part two of this message, because we don't have the power to put it when we put on say what we put on because that's what we need to hear and if we can apply these truths biblical truths to our marriages. It would really change things so as to identify the things that need to be put off. But as David and Wilson just said not to focus exclusively on poker putting off, but also what were putting on the if all you do is put things off you leave yourself exposed. We got to put on godly character and godly virtues. This is a message that Ray and Robin shared as part of the 2021 family life love like commuted virtual crews.

But guess what next February. The cruises not to be virtual. It's gonna be live and in person and that we are really excited as we plan ahead for the 2022 crews back right now were in the middle of a back to cruising special event for family like today listeners we have dropped the prices on our cruise cabins to the lowest price they will be this year. If you are interested in joining us on the cruise in 2022. Now is the time to call and reserve your cabin the last 15 months have been hard on all of us.

The cruise gives you a chance to reconnect and to realign with God and with one another and I should just mention these cruises in past years have sold out, so if you are interested in being on the 2022 crews. This is the week to call and the reserve your cabin. You can call one 800 FL today if you need more information. It's available online@familylifeto.com again the number to call is one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life and in the word today about speaking of the cruise somebody over the next 30 days is going to win a free cabin on the love like you mean it marriage cruise. Somebody is going for free in February and it could be you. Let me tell you how this works. Our team has put together something called the love you better plan.

This is 30 days to help each one of us love one another better in marriage. Pretty simple. It's a downloadable PDF. There were suggestions and tips on how we can do a better job of loving one another in marriage and everybody who downloads the love you better plan is going to be instantly entered in a drawing will be doing and like I said somebody is going to win a cabin on the cruise. So here's what you do you download the love you better plan go to family life to.com and download it when you do, you are instantly automatically eligible to win a cabin on the cruise. There's no purchase necessary. All of the information about the contest is available online. Find out more when you go to family life to the.com tomorrow to hear from Ray and Robin McKelvey about the things we need to be putting on put off anger and wrath and malice and all the rest. What should we be putting on here about that tomorrow. You can be with us for that on behalf of a host statement and Wilson on bottle team.

We will see you back next time for another edition of family life, family life, helping you pursue the relationships that matter most