The Secret of Leadership

Every one of us is a leader everyone of us has influence over others. Jason Romano says the key to our leadership, our effectiveness with others begins, we have the right perspective on life.

Everything the day we wake up we have the choice to make and work observe and I look at it is this. I am third model hopefully at your follower of Christ are going to look to serve the Lord first. But then it's another second. And it's ourselves third and I think the best leaders stay at home moms all the way up the vice presidents of large abrasions have to make a decision every day.

One of the can aware terms of that uniform are they can assert themselves first for the concert.

Got another description. This is family life today. Our hosts are Damon and Wilson about the pain we can find us online@familylifetoday.com there are principles of effective leadership that apply to everyone of us no matter what setting where leading to explore those principles with Jason Romano today statements and welcome to family life to. Thanks for joining us and I know exactly what's going on here. Oh yeah, I mean was going on that we should we should have my friend Jason on family days to talk about at dinner, leadership, and I got this is because the games coming up right you guys can get together you could talk football your dog what was going on. This has nothing to do with his book or leadership at all dozen guys not to do with anything but the game that the Detroit Lions are going to win this year and forget they're not going to get a schedule for this article I have, and tell everybody about your friend Jason will Jason Romano's with this and when we first met Jason the first am actually introduced myself was when I had you on my shower my podcasting about vertical marriage, but I watched you at our conferences with PAO come and speak and I kind of from a glance knew who you were. Yeah. So, this is Jason that was with ESPN for 17 years and yet you feel doubtful about some of the jobs you did that now pretty exciting what you're doing and will hear about that as well. But you left ESPN to try to go to a higher calling and you know we been involved together with pro athletes outreach with many people don't know about, but it's a beautiful ministry that does conferences for pro athletes, baseball, football, I think there's a NASCAR wine hockey hockey, you name it and they bring in speakers I can and I've been there for 20 years or so doing stuff on marriage to help info couples a lot of Lotta people come to Christ at that conference of the lesson we did for baseball. Mr. MC over there. Just a reminder was hosted no thing did a great job interview Darrell strawberry and different things are happening then have written a couple books in the first one I hope we talked about this a little bit even though today's not about you know your forgiveness journey with your dad that was called live to forgive and I have a similar journey.

So when I read that it was like manna. Been there, but this one is the uniform of leadership talk about that. Why did you even decide to write a book on leadership – the first of all thank you for having it's a honor to be with you guys so I never want to be an author never wanted to write you know that wasn't the goal when I was in high school or college.

It was to get into broadcasting it was never to write books once you come through 17 years of working at ESPN, the most consistent question I get is what was it like and who were some of the famous people that you got to hang out with for some of the stories and I have a lot of them. And so if I was ever to write a book. It would not have been the first book that I wrote unforgiveness.

It would've been this book. It wasn't initially going to be a leadership book. It was just to be kinda stories for my time at ESPN and maybe some people will be entertained or enjoyed reading or hearing about the stories but the more we we go out we got deeper into it, especially after writing my first book, I realized I want to write a book that was focused on not just entertaining people, but being able to apply some of these principles are things I've been through into their own lives. So that's where the idea of leadership came from.

Especially because I been reading a lot lately about leadership within the last five years devouring leadership material stories and books from people like John Maxwell and John Gordon and others Simon cynic people who write about leadership, but they come from a perspective of serving and I thought what if I share the stories that I experienced at ESPN with some of the famous people and some people that you would not of heard of but come from a biblical perspective say but also from a leadership perspective were the leadership lessons that I learned from spending time are going through these experiences at ESPN and that's where the uniform leadership is born well and we should start right off by saying it you not just talk about CEOs and corporate America or people who are captains of industry when you talk about leadership. Everybody's a leader at some level, I think, absolutely, and especially when you think that's funny, I was preaching at my church. When the book released back in the summer and overselling some of the books up at the church and we were not fully reopened, but we were open enough in Connecticut at our church and this sweet old lady, probably in her late 70s comes up and she looks much because it's really nice that you wrote a book. I'm not a leader so I don't need your book and other very bold and very open.

A lot of these older ladies and I love that she's like I don't need your book is I'm not a leader and I civil women ask a question. I said are you a mom or your grandmother, she's like, mom and I civil debts that qualifies you as a leader.

In fact, if you're breathing, you're here.

In essence, a leader, because leadership is in about what you say CEOs are power or titles or status. It's about influence. It's about serving so you're saying the stay-at-home mom who has a two-year-old, a four-year-old and a six-year-old you are leading influencer test site important for us to remember because sometimes at that point of life we feel like I'm having only influence I have no life but we really do wear leaders in our family absolutely. Especially if leadership is influence, which I believe it is leadership is serving what Jesus said he is the ultimate leader I came not to be served but to serve, so Jesus is modeling that and yes I think if your stay-at-home mom or even just apparent error in whatever situation you're in your leader again that's your number one first priority of being a leader is your family and people at home.

I think we get the leadership kind of mixed up because we think is just business related.

We talk about leadership in the workplace in ministry and who were influencing what's our title. If you, the VP or the senior manager or whatever than your leader.

But leadership is more than title.

It's really influence and it is interesting because when when you obviously were older nozzles that grandma were not far away from her. Yes, our answer is decades away from anything. Remember the days when ants talk about this when she said that question like she's remembered four-year-old two-year-old poopy diapers. The whole thing that she would often state that to me, usually at night exhausted when we hit the sack and trying get two hours of sleep baby and she would say I'm doing nothing with my life. You know, I'm just a mom I'm at home all day.

I'm just chasing kids around. I'm disciplining I'm exhausted. I'm not doing and I be saying what you say J so now you're in, but it's hard feel that way.

At that point but here's where I'm going with this.

You call your book the uniform of leadership know Mike put what you mean later but as I read it on my call. There's this jersey and obviously connected to sports talk about that because that's the thing that a mom or dad or anybody needs to realize I am here I am putting on a jersey every day and what does it because that's a metaphor used that explained that because I think that works. When you understand that it changes your perspective. Well, it certainly connected to sports, of course, because that's you know what I everything is right. They have come on out. Sports is everything know it when you would when I wake up every day I make a decision on whom to serve first. That's kind of how I looked at this so many times and in my daily walk.

My flesh kicks in. My ego kicks in and the idea of serving goes completely to him observing me, but every single day we wake up we have the choice to make and who serve and I look at it is this. I am 1/3 model which I talked about the book.

Hopefully, if you're a follower of Christ and you listening to this, you're going to look to serve the Lord first. But then it's other second and it's ourselves third so is this I am third, God first other second ourselves. Third, the uniform of leadership putting on that uniform every day. Think about uniform and what looks like right and especially I use the example of the New York Mets. That's my baseball team that I grew up watching a long time since they've want anything as well Dave, but the uniform that the Mets where has the Mets nail in the front and has the name of the player on the back so if I'm waking up every day and I'm choosing to serve others.

For some, wearing my uniform properly for so many of us I don't care what you believe, but especially, even as Christians we wake up in the very first thing we think about is ourselves and taking care of ourselves and looking at what is this day could be like for Jason and I'm wearing in that sense, the uniform leadership backwards. The name on the back is 1.4, not the name on the front and that's where every single day we wake up we have a choice to make, and I think the best leaders stay-at-home moms all the way up the vice presidents of large corporations have to make a decision every day. One of the can aware in terms of that uniform are they can assert themselves first, or they can serve God and another's first yeah it is.

You know the jersey and a sports situation is revered in a sense, especially by the athlete. I mean, obviously, when you know I was you know the chaplain for 33 seasons in the NFL. So an NFL jersey same thing as a major league soccer, you name it. When you get to that level and they put your name like on alliance jersey is like it changes who you are.

It's identifier yeah and I know you step up to I can put on his jersey right now have to represent that one. One things I did years ago and it's your leadership is serving thing is one day after alliance game. Another loss I'm standing there.

I mean probably 20 years in that has been the chaplain and what I typically would do after game is just there to be there. You don't walk around talk to guys from the locker and often they lost and so were talk about that.

Maybe guy get injured whenever and trying to be of Charles Pasteur on the light for Christ and locker room will. Here's what happened sooner. One day, looking around thinking what's the best thing I could do right now to lead in this moment in Outlook is likely my going it is Amy again. When will contact that guy and a guy some of want to talk to you some of my just get your stuff, get out there and here's what hits me I should help. I should serve with that look like and I'm watching the equipment, guys, there's about seven or eight, two or three are paid. The rest of volunteers they are packing up all the guy stuff, cleats, shoulder pads, helmets, jerseys, pants, every goes in a bag you were on the road to zip it up in the bags going to this card go out to the you know the whole thing. I'm watching this and Mike Hanks will help those guys and they actually put on hospital gloves because blood and stuff in New Jersey's long story short I go to one equipment guys name and where to get those gloves I will help you know what the guy says, oh yeah like you're going to help. Can I can I not help his did you the chaplain you know get out and go do your spiritual thing. While he said while mad at me, so I kept looking around, like all the gloves are in the training rooms I went and got on I just started looking at what they did. By the way, just a little to peer was the hardest thing to do is take a NFL jersey off shoulder pads on yes it is, you have to peel them off so it took some work.

Anyway, long story short I start doing it every game never was asked to start doing it and all I know is like the third game on the horizon at the kneeling down friend Josh McCown's locker, and upon this thing off and he leans in Vegas I see what you're doing and I go, we mean what am I doing this year be Jesus man, he goes the whole room is watching you like what he goes. Dude everybody seen this thing can understand why the chaplain is doing some he's not supposed to be doing and I realize I was leading by serving and I tell you, it had a greater ministry from and I did the rest of my time about your relationship with the equipment, the next thing I know the equipment guys are like a deer in the back of the bus with them.

I get a jacket on the sideline. I never got any clothes in a silent idea. Let him he's just the chaplain I became with her best friend C9 when things were going on in their life there. Call me up there text me to give me your number and I'm in and I thought all that was serving which is leadership. That's what you keep. Talk about over and over in your book. It's Jesus saying deny yourself right at me. That's what it is a and that's the perfect example.

I remember that ESPN one time we had Colt McCoy because of her culture play with Texas I think is with the New York Giants the season and cocaine. The ESPN and at that time he was like a highly touted Heisman Trophy type candidate right coming ESPN to do a bunch of interviews he had his text to see what University of Texas Longhorns had his Longhorn staff with him and usually it was about six, seven, deeper, we would welcome a guest ESPN can take them around and went up in the cafeteria for about an hour before one of our next interviews and so ESPN cafeteria real big. Just picture like a college campus and that's ESPN. In essence, and so we go to the cafeteria and for some reason, one of the request was to get a couple gallons of milk.

It was in the morning. People want see her. I don't even remember like how do we have gallons of milk at ESPN. I thought what I do remember was I was the one responsible for getting those gallons and making sure that whoever was requesting was taken care of and here's Colt McCoy when everybody else is sitting and watching me struggle with 2 gallons of milk and like these other things of them carrying coal gets up comes over and grabs a couple gallons off me like I got your man can only take this for an this is very small. This is huge say. Hopefully, any human that you see that helped, but nobody else got up the Colt was the last person I thought would get up because he's Colt McCoy. At that point be your guest here be the superstar be the Heisman Trophy candidate, but he got up and it's little things like that like what you didn't like what Colt does, that I think a represents who Christ is. B is the ultimate representation of what leadership is about thinking about what you said it in your book about serving as leadership. Leadership is serving. Yeah, I thought, here's what happened to me. I stood in the locker room, I saw a need a minute I come home I don't to same thing. That's what I was there to get it harder to serve at home candidate is at work.

I think so. I think because you become comfortable at home you come sit in your ways. I have the struggle, no problem. When I'm here with you guys around at work around out and I come home and is like William for dinner honey, my mind goes right to where work were comfortable there and who's going to serve me correct that and so I train you have to remember the love languages here that that's a whole another story for another time. But what's my wives love language will hers is acts of service, so I got I got to get up and I got serve her and help her and that's not my love like any secret serving is pretty much nothing else and shouldn't think about this. I mean, when we get up we go to work yes and then work is over and we go home to rest and so I can get up and go to war) they come home to go to work on. Think about a friend of mine who years ago told me this I thought this was so smart. He said when I leave the office in the afternoon. He said there is a spot that's about a mile from where I live and he said I will pull off for about five minutes before I get home to Hess and he says and I will tell myself you are about to go to your second job and you better strap it on and be just as good there. You're not going home to rest and be served. You're going into the next area where you're hired to work, then it's really your most important job just it can't because I used to do this and it was wrong. I would say things today like I wish I could get home and sit on the couch. I wish I could come home and that does not work. It doesn't does it does not motivate my wife's number and I was sarcastic. I was hoping Dave would get the point. But I wish I would've just gone in, sat on the couch or done would have intent honey I really need your help right now because I assume that he knew it. I assume that he would get out. And here's another tip. Tell them exactly what you would like them to do and the wife who says it was a line drive that my husband goes, can you just give me 15 minutes to just chill or goes okay what you need me to do and she goes, I don't. The next day forgetting how to do myself that her dad exactly as I said no you didn't say you do what you said is Mr. leadership. How can that like everything you'd recommend Jordan. Oh gosh, I love you because this is so much trouble as I've been married 21 years and I'm not perfect by any means, but I will say a lot of what you explain. I lived through every day.

Not weird with me and my wife because we both work from home currently assigned people were not yeah and we obviously with pandemic and everything a lot of people working from home but her leaving work and coming upstairs is is other people's drive home for a half-hour. Ours is turn the computer off like I'm upstairs.

I go downstairs she's downstairs she comes upstairs and here we clash 530 every day were like okay how is your workday well thought out is yours and and it's a different world for us, but I do think it's important to communicate in advance on both ends.

And remember to that communication as part of leadership model you really have a talk and I kind of explain sometimes guys need this more than than the women exactly what you want, you know.

And remember, that is, different situations, you know, my wife works in a job that were she's not sort of happy all the time in her role where his arm like I get to do sports and I get to interview all these people and guess what I did some very rarely about "bad mood coming from work and that was the same way at ESPN so it's different, but I think education has to be vital immune as leaders we have to be able to communicate through serving. We also need to be able to communicate and be able to listen yeah and I know for and she's joking but she would come in and sit on the couch and be mad at me and and and then when she started coming in and couch and encouraging me. I don't know, is a different response.

Again she wants and it's awesome you're sitting there watching the game and not helping me. But now he started his essay sees speak life and the things I was doing well. I need to even think he is like hey thanks for doing the dishes tonight that I was a huge help that motivated you so much. Like maybe I should do that again instead of me saying about time you did the dishes. I do them every night. I think that really is important and how we speak and I were at a Bible study one time in the question that everybody think of the opener question was what something your spouse has done recently that you found romantic and I'm white and as were going around the circle.

Thinking why is it wiser by laughing right now. Think of what it should give us a what she can come up with that. I'm certain think what I done romantic of the last thing she could go back to college and grabbed her hand.

So I'm waiting to see what she's gonna say she gets to her and she said well I'll tell you that this was this was like last week I was in the kitchen I was doing the dishes and without me saying anything. Bob got up and came in and grabbed the dishtowel and started drying dishes and I didn't even ask him to and she said that was so romantic, that was man are you kidding me right you put on the home jersey. He wore the uniform properly.

I tell you what, then every time I grab the dishtowel from then on she does. I know what you're doing and I know what you think of that good and work to find another way. But I will say to what you said and was was beautiful because if you commit it and you encourage Dave, thank you for doing the addition of the deeds committed to be like account going to bat for for me to get you there anyways.

But you go to battle for that woman on anything because you feel loved right in the business world. That's the same way we talk about bosses the greatest leaders I've seen are people who show caring and love, and they they invest in the person, not just in the employee right relational equity that your building and I think if somebody shows me.

I've had great leaders were my bosses, but also had some bosses who aren't necessarily great leaders but the ones who loved me and cared for he who went and invested into me I was to go to battle for that person do anything they want because I know that they care about me and I think that transfers over to the home you know if you each each other show each other that you care for each other and even just picking up the dishtowel and and doing the dishes in and drive them off without being asked. I got I think my wife would flip started in a house facility that's that's a way of showing that you care. And then she's the go to battle for me on the go to battle for her and it just makes the relationship to one of the themes in your book over and over is the people part that leadership isn't just task in accomplishing great goals.

It's really that again it's not a separate that it's throughout the whole book. It's all about seeing people caring for people. People feel loved by you and I just thought it's easy to do that for me in the locker room are at church.

It's harder to do that when I walk in the door, but who's the most valuable people in my life in our lives, our wives, our kids, our husbands are kicking your spouse or your children are slot of the first, then the people you work with MS and that didn't they matter, but it's so easy to walk in the door in. Have you know I'm work. My bosses attend my wife's a seven what should be my wife's attend my children attends bosses a -5 no and you don't say it's I like it so easy. And again if there's a leadership uniform a leadership lesson to end with it would be made when you walk in the door everybody that years near leading and serving is a 10 then bring the energy that you brought to your office. It's a more important job I said earlier asserted kin, but it didn't.

It's I'm not kidding. It is your most important job to friend, wanting us to do absolutely. And I think the two words that we started with influence in service says the definition of leadership. Everybody's in influencer and everybody has opportunities to serve your a leader as a mom as a dad, a husband and wife even teenagers who are listing your leader absolute so you use that influence serve others get a copy of Jason's book, the uniform of leadership lessons on true success for my ESPN life. We've got copies of Jason's book. Our family left today resource Center you can order it from us online@familylifetoa.com or you can call one 800 FL today to get a copy.

Again, the title of the book is the uniform of leadership by Jason Romano.

It's available online@familylifeto.com or call if you'd like to order a copy number is 1-800-358-6329. That's 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today. I will come back to those two words. We talked about service and influence here at family life. We are committed to doing everything we can do to help you serve and influence others more effectively in your marriage in your family in your community.

We want to help you effectively develop a godly marriage and family. We believe godly marriages and families can change the world one home at a time and those of you who are regular listeners. You've heard us say this often, but it is your financial support of this ministry that makes all we do here at family life possible. The handful of listeners in every city who support this ministry, either with one-time donations or as monthly legacy partners. You guys are partnering with us to reach more people more often. Through this radio program or podcast or what you hear online all of the different ways that family life to day is now available. You can ask Alexa at the plate. Today's additional family like to do if you want but you make all of this possible. When you support this ministry and were grateful for that effect. This week we have been offering a new resource book by Joe Rigney called more than a battle. It's a gift to those of you who can help support this ministry. Joe tackles one of the tough issues of our day.

The issue of pornography and gets to the root causes of pornography to help men and women get free from the bondage that so many people are experiencing in this area the book more than a battle is our gift to you. When you make a donation today to support the ministry of family life to date to do that online the family like today.com or you can call to donate one 800, FL, today we are grateful for your partnership with us and thanks in advance for your support and we hope you can join us again tomorrow as we continue to talk about what effective leadership looks like in the home in the workplace in the community how we can all do a better job of serving and influencing others. Jason Romano joins us again tomorrow. We hope you can join us as well. Think our engineer today.

Keith Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and Wilson and Bob Lapine see you back next time for another edition of family life to accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow