Beginning Your Day With The Lord (Learn a Verse Before School)

Holly Melton believes there is a missing element from most of our mornings. A few minutes ago, we touched upon one of the most important things we can do, make it a discipleship opportunity for yourself as well.

I think one of the greatest examples we can have is humility with our children that we are becoming more like Jesus alongside of them. We are not perfect and so every week, I'm encouraging the parent to also own what they can grow in in this topic. This is family life today. Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. I'm Bob Lapine.

You can find us online at familylifetoday.com. Are you intimidated by the idea of being a disciple? What is your hope? How do you deal with that? How do you continue to bring that to your mind? praying together with your kids every day before school.

Holly Melton's going to help walk you through just how easy this can be. Stay with us. And welcome to Family Life Today.

Thanks for joining us. So I got to play for you the text message I got from my daughter, Katie, who lives in Brooklyn. Does she know you're playing this text message? I got her okay.

Okay. She actually sent a video to the whole family. She, about a month ago, sent us a note and said, Cedric, who is our four-year-old grandson, Cedric wants a sword. And she said, so I'm thinking about having him memorize some scripture in order to earn his sword. And I said, like Ephesians 6, right?

I mean, you're going to go right to the sword of the Spirit so that he has some spiritual connection. She goes, that's a great one. And then she writes to everybody else, so how do you get a four-year-old to memorize scripture?

And I said, well, you probably need to talk to your sister about that because she's the most recent one to have experience with that. So they shared about hand motions and different ways to get a kid engaged. So here you go. You ready for this?

Yes. Here's Cedric. Stand firm then of the belt of truth buckled around your waist and the bright plate of righteousness in place. And with your feet the feather that comes in the gospel of faith, in addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, which where you can distinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take up the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit blesses the will of God. How is that? Wow. That's awesome. What do you say? How's that?

How is that? Yeah. That's great. I'd give him a sword.

Absolutely. I'm ready to buy him a full armor. He gets the whole thing.

He's so cute too with his little Spider-Man shirt on. Every parent, every grandparent cherishes that kind of progress in a kid's life. And he probably doesn't know what half those words mean.

Why do you cherish it? Because we don't know where he is spiritually yet. But you see him beginning to work out what it looks like to walk with Jesus. And you trust that those seeds that get planted, God's going to bring those to harvest in a person's life. And there's so many things you could put in your mind. And look what he's putting in his mind. We're all almost tearing up because we understand the power of truth from the Word of God.

And that's what he's putting in. Well, we've got a guest who's joining us this week to help us in this process of pointing our kids to Jesus, helping them understand God's Word, helping them learn how to pray through God's Word together. Holly Melton is with us again on Family Life Today. Holly, welcome back.

Thank you for having me. Holly lives in the Valley of the Sun. She and her husband have two children, a boy and a girl, five and six.

They are on staff with CREW. Holly has spoken all around the world, been a campus director, been a regional director for CREW, and now works with the staff at— And a vampire slayer. We've talked about how you led somebody to Christ who was into the vampire lifestyle back when you were in college. She's written a book that is for us as parents about praying with our children before school. And that's, the before school part is strategic in your mind, right?

Yes, definitely. We need to begin our day with the Lord to prepare for what the day has for us. And so we want to model that and come alongside of our children and do that with them.

But Holly, it really is a discipleship manual. As I was going through it, I was thinking, oh, this isn't just about, because the prayer, which is so important, but you're really teaching us how to disciple our kids, what that looks like, conversation, scripture. And I think most of us as parents are thinking, how do I do that?

But you've made it very simple for us. What I try to do is at the beginning of each week, there is a theme for the week. So the first week of school, it's be strong and courageous because, well, especially this year, they're going into a new school situation most likely. And many children are nervous, even teens, about what it's going to be like with their new teachers, their classmates, their older new friends. And so for an example, the first week of being strong and courageous, we start out with a devotional for the parents. And it helps them kind of think about how their children need to be strong and courageous this week. But also how we as parents might need to be strong and courageous.

You know, my daughter going to preschool and my son kindergarten last year, this year, both of them going to elementary school together. It's that first moment of the empty nest of them being in school. And for others, it's just thinking, oh, I am putting them into this worldly environment.

What are they going to learn, you know? And so we have to be strong and courageous too. And so it starts with discipleship of the parent and helping you have an understanding of that week's topic.

And this is really critical. You've already talked about the fact that Deuteronomy 6 says that we're to love the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We can't pass on to our kids what's absent in us. So if you're trying to train and disciple your kids in things like being strong and courageous, you need to be in the same process they're in, in growing in your own faith, your own strength, your own courage.

Not that you have to have it down and have it perfect, because you don't. But you have to let your kids know that this isn't just something for them. It's something for mom and dad too. Yes, you will grow with your child as you do this. I make it a discipleship opportunity for yourself as well. I think one of the greatest examples we can have is humility with our children, that we are becoming more like Jesus alongside of them.

We are not perfect. And so every week I'm encouraging the parent to also own what they can grow in in this topic. I think that's really important too. As parents, even as we sit down at the table, I know that Dave and I tried to have stories of what it looked like to be strong and courageous when we were fearful. To be like, this has been really hard for me or this has been really important for me, or I'm really learning this week. So for us as parents to be vulnerable, that opens kids up.

Have you seen that too? Yes, completely. I tell them when I'm nervous, like flying here, I do not like turbulence. My children know that. And I said, but is it worth pushing through my fear in order to give other people an opportunity to disciple their children?

Yes, right? So I let them know when there are things that are uncomfortable or painful. I also love the fact that you said earlier when you even think of Deuteronomy 6, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart. What a lot of people dismiss is that wasn't written to a person. That was written to a community. It's the whole nation really. And you've done this, not just one mom.

You've done it, you said what, 18 others? And so there's this community going on. So even the fear and courageous thing, it isn't just I'm alone, it's one family. It's like we are a community and we can do this as a church in a sense to help our kids become strong and courageous.

And I think that's a great point. I think for a mom who would say, I want to do this with my kids. If you say, I want to do this with five other moms and we're all going to do it together, that accountability will help you persevere and the experience of it will be a richer experience. Yeah, and I think that accountability is key of just other moms going through it. Or even if you say, my kids today were like, this is dumb. You know, another mom can encourage you and say, oh, keep pressing on, my kids were like that yesterday. But it just keeps you together and accountable to one another. So you're talking about being strong and courageous.

You're coming up with illustrations from your own life you can share with your kids. But as you get in the car on the first day or around the breakfast table, first day of school, and you've got this out, what's the verse you're going to share with your kids on the first day? So the first day, the theme is do not be afraid and it's from Deuteronomy 31 six. And it says, so be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.

He will neither fail you nor abandon you. And then we have a prayer for the children and it's to contextualize that verse to their circumstance. And it says, Father, help me to be strong and courageous as I walk into my new classroom and meet my teachers and classmates. I choose right now to be courageous and work through my fears instead of being controlled by them. Amen.

We also make it a little easier if you have younger children. And so the example for the younger children would just be be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. God will be with you. And then the prayer for them is God thank you for being with me on the first day of school. Help me to be strong and courageous today.

Amen. Now, if you have that little five minute interaction with your kids, first of all, you've acknowledged that you know what's going on in their world, that they're facing something new. You've told them the promises of God to be with them in the midst of that. And you've prepared them, now I'm thinking at the end of the day when they come home and you say, did you have a chance to be courageous today?

Were you afraid? You have those conversations as a follow-up and they see this is not just something that's abstract. This is something that applies to what I'm living. Yes, and that's where we continue on with the Deuteronomy 6 where it says, you know, engage with them when you're sitting down, when you're lying down, when you wake up. So we're living it out.

You start in the morning with it, you discuss it at dinner or in your bedtime, and it becomes the conversation of the week. You're not trying to get kids to memorize these verses every day, right? But in reading them out loud and reading slowly with the kids, you're helping them understand God's word is real, it's practical, it makes sense, it applies to my life.

Correct. Yeah, and it's funny, somewhere in your book, I don't remember where, wasn't there a story about Carter with a bully? Talk about being strong and courageous.

Tell that, that's pretty cute. So remember, my son is only in kindergarten this past year, and we have been trying to help them understand that not everyone in their public school knows about Jesus, let alone wants to follow Jesus, and so we need to have compassion on them, but we want to share Jesus with others. So he saw a bully in the playground, and he went up to him, and he said, as an evangelist, I have to work on his approach, but he said, do you believe in Jesus? And the bully said, yes. And Carter looked at him surprised, and he says, well, then why don't you act more like him? Because he understands if we do believe in Jesus, there is an expectation we become more like him already at age six. He didn't get punched for saying that, did he?

He didn't, no. Well, that's good. He just came home a little confused. But I mean, he's being strong and courageous. Most people run from bullies, and they don't speak at all.

There he is, living it out. And it's funny, because kids get excited about sharing Jesus. I remember I would share the story, even at the dinner table sometimes, about Adam and Eve and the fall and the serpent and Satan and our need for Jesus of coming to redeem and connect us back with God. They loved this story so much, they asked me to repeat it all the time, because it really becomes, then you keep taking it into the gospel. And so their friends would come over who are like 10 years old. They're like, mom, tell the garden story. They want me to share the gospel.

And these kids are into it, which is, we assume that they won't be, but they really become that. Can you give us, what are the other themes of each day for courage? Sure, so Monday was do not be afraid. Tuesday is put your hope in God. Wednesday, your work will be rewarded. Thursday, be courageous to obey God. And Friday, be courageous in waiting. I have to think Joshua's in there somewhere, right?

Yes, there is, two Joshua's. I hear be strong and courageous, and I think, have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. In fact, when our kids were growing up, there was a song. Yes, it's, I was just. Have I not commanded you?

Be strong and courageous. What was that from? I don't know. Me neither, but we must have listened to the same thing. That sounds like an old movie. No, it's like either Salty, The Singing Songbook. It was one of those, having some of these verses put to music, I'm thinking about Seeds Family Worship, which we talked about earlier.

I'm thinking about all of the different. You know what my wife does now, Bob? Oh, no. What does she do? She downloaded all the Seeds Family Worship.

Yeah? And every time we walk anywhere, she starts singing verses. To have verses put to music, this is what makes the scripture stick in your heart. That's why I can still remember Joshua 1 years later, because I got the melody in my head along with the words.

Right. Did you use scripture memory songs as a part of this rotation with your family? We didn't do scripture memory songs.

We do use Salty, like you mentioned. We do have, they listen to Salty to memorize. But we actually used this idea of memorizing verses from A through Z. And they would learn a verse that starts with A, learn a verse that starts with B, all the way down to Z.

And they started doing that when they were three. And they wouldn't understand the verses. But again, it's hiding the word in their heart that they will remember for the rest of their life, just like you did with that song. And so, I do think, just like with your grandson, it's important to get memorization in, not worry about them always understanding it. And that doesn't guarantee that they will walk with Jesus the rest of their life.

But it does give them an opportunity for the Holy Spirit or for God to just bring that verse back up in a time of need in their lives. What about dads? Is there anything, is there a role for men for the dad? No. Okay. Okay, I'll just crawl away to the corner.

No, have you seen anything? Is there a way that men can do this or dads could do this? Does it only have to be moms?

No, in fact, my whole book, I on Purpose, did not try to make the front to look flowery. I on Purpose did not say moms anywhere in my book, because I think it could be dads. It could be moms and dads. It could be taking turns.

Which would be even better. Yes, so nowhere do I emphasize this as a mom manual. It's a parent manual.

And I think it's something great. I think if there is only one parent available in the morning, it should be that parent, whoever it is. And then the evening, the following parent could follow up, they could ask the question. So what did you learn? What was your verse today?

What were you praying about? They could be a learner of the kids so the child could then share what they've experienced that day. Yeah, one of the things that we did when the kids were real little, I don't know how long we did it, but I would take them, we called it boys day out, just to give Ann a break, right? And I don't know if I did it once a month or once every couple weeks.

And we had this ritual of going to video game mall and getting A&W root beer. But listening to this right now is like, that would have been an opportunity at least to take one of these and spend the day doing my part. Again, it wouldn't be just once a month, but it's a way, if we had had this back then, I would have said, okay, Friday's my day.

Or Monday's my day, I'm driving them to school. I'm gonna take them through, I'm looking at week five, comparison and jealousy. That never happens.

People never compare or get jealous. That never ends. But to be able to walk them through truth from the scripture and to be involved with Ann, I mean, that's an opportunity for men to jump in. Has your husband done anything in that way? Well, I'm the morning person. So he picks up the kids and I take the kids. So because we both thrive though, he does ask them as he picks them up, how was your day? What did you learn today?

How were you in seeing the people around you? So he asks discipleship questions on the drive home, might not be exactly always related to our prayer in the morning. But the other thing we've put into our day that our children demand from my husband is we do five minutes with them before they go to bed too. So we start the day, one of us with this prayer, but both of us, now we only have two kids. So if you have like eight kids, this might be a little harder, but we each spend five minutes with each of them, which could end up being 10 or more. But every night they want five minutes alone with each parent. And that five minutes has become so great in the specific bonding. It's almost like when nowadays you take your kid out for a date, right? But five minutes every day really adds up to have some significant quality conversation.

So they want their daddy time every night, that five minutes, it's like non-negotiable. Are you finding that this is sticking with your kids? I mean, it's something that you talked about a few weeks ago is coming back into their conversation. They're going, I remember that verse.

Is that happening? I would say that at their age, they're not remembering a verse, they're remembering the principle because they're doing it, I'm doing it for a whole week. So it really becomes foundational.

And then the next week becomes foundational. I mean, one example is I'm very big on teaching them the fruit of the Spirit. I think that's important. I think a lot of times, especially, it doesn't matter if your kids are young or old, when a child comes to faith in Christ, that doesn't make us more sinless, right? It just makes us saved from our sin, but we still sin. And I think one of the theologies we don't often teach our children no matter their age is that the Holy Spirit comes in us to empower us, to empower us to be courageous, to empower us to watch our mouth, to empower us to not have comparison or all of these things. And so we've specifically spent a week in this devotional on each of the fruit of the Spirit. And what we now do in our evening prayers as a family is we say, evaluate your day, which of the fruit of the Spirit was a little hard for you? I want you to own it, confess it, and then ask the Holy Spirit to empower you to have more self-control or kindness the next day. And this has really helped them to evaluate at five and six their own sanctification, their own needing to become more like Jesus, own that they're still not perfect, that they need the Holy Spirit and asking for his help, so they're getting dependence.

And they're hearing you start that. It's not just where was the fruit of the Spirit absent in your life today, but mom and dad are going, I'll go first. I think for kids to know, we're on the same journey that you're on and we're having to learn this as well.

Yes. One of the things that just hit me about this is thinking of teenagers. Now, you're not there yet, but one of the things we noticed with our teenage boys was they would start to ask us questions about our faith. And this would have given us a theme, which would have been really interesting. Because if we're talking about courage the whole week, you know, I'm thinking even when our last son was there and the other two were in college, he really started reaching out and saying, tell me your testimony.

And it was different because the other two weren't there and it was sort of chaotic, but he really wanted to know. It could be this little thing, okay, let's talk about courage. Dad, when were you afraid in college last week?

Son, when were you afraid? I mean, it gives you, like you said, the intentionality. I'm not always the most intentional, so I need a resource, a tool, and I'm thinking you're doing it with little five and six-year-olds, but when they're 15 and 16, this is gonna pay off. It gives you a chance, you're right, to tell them your story or maybe your failures of when you weren't courageous or when you were. Third John 1.4 comes to mind, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. And when you're talking about bedtime, for us, that was one of our favorite times because kids open up at bedtime because they don't wanna go to sleep. And I know, as parents, you're tired and you're exhausted and you wanna just have time to yourself, but I think that time for us has been the most precious time. I've shared this before, but one of our sons was getting married, and so Dave and I were on our knees, actually, because at first, when they're little, you're in the bed with them, and then they get a little older and you're sitting on the bed, but this night, the night before he got married, we were on our knees and we were praying for him for the last time before he got married, and we had our hands on him, praying for him.

And of course, I'm crying, because it's like, man, I'm so excited for you, but this is an end of an era. And I asked him, Austin, what will you miss the most about living under our roof? And he said, this. You guys praying for me every night. Like, this will be something I'll carry on. And it was so interesting because later, we asked his wife, what will you miss about being under your parents' roof? And she said the same thing.

My parents praying for me at night in bed. And I know that we're in the midst of it. We're exhausted. We're thinking, this doesn't make any difference.

They're playing, they're totally out of it. Those moments sink deep into a child's life. And we all know, because our kids are grown, those are the greatest joys. Bob, when you just played that video of your grandson memorizing scripture. No greater joy than to know that our kids are walking in the truth.

That's right. And I was just thinking that, son, when we call them on FaceTime, they've got four kids. And it's absolute chaos. I mean, kids are running naked.

They're five, three, two, and one. And we're just like, how in the world do you survive? And it's exactly what we experienced back in the day. And it's so sweet, yeah. But the cool thing is, when they get ready for bedtime, because we've been there, they're on their knees, they're praying, they're doing what they...

They're singing songs. It's really cool. Yeah. It's really cool. Holly, this is a gift, really, for parents to have this laid out, to have it systematized for them.

It's a roadmap that they can follow. And I'm grateful we can offer it to our listeners. Thanks for being here. Thanks for all the work that went into this. And may it be multiplied in tens of thousands of homes across the country and around the world. Well, thank you for having me.

Yeah. And for our listeners, any of you who would like a copy of Holly's book, we're making it available this week to those of you who can make a donation to support the Ministry of Family Life today. Your donations help us deliver practical, biblical help and hope to marriages and families all around the world every day. You extend the reach of this ministry every time you donate.

You're having an impact on the lives, the marriages, and the families of tens of thousands of people every day. When you make a donation today, just ask for your copy of Holly Melton's book, Praying With Your Kids Before School. You can make your donation online at familylifetoday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to donate. Again, the website is familylifetoday.com or call to donate and get a copy of Holly Melton's book, Praying With Your Kids Before School. Call 1-800-358-6329.

That's 1-800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Now tomorrow, we're going to introduce you to Matt Hammett, former lead singer for Sanctus Real, the guy who wrote the song Lead Me. He and his wife, Sarah, are gonna join us and talk about his journey to becoming the spiritual leader in his home.

He's written a book called Lead Me. It's gonna be a great conversation. I wanna thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, along with our entire broadcast production team. On behalf of our hosts, Dave and Ann Wilson, I'm Bob Lapine. We will see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. ["Family Life Today"] Family Life Today is a production of Family Life of Little Rock, Arkansas, a crew ministry. Help for today, hope for tomorrow.