Repectable Men, Part 3

Welcome to Delight in Grace, the teaching ministry of Rich Powell, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Winston-Salem. Today, Pastor Rich unpacks God's call on men within a marriage relationship. 1 Peter 3.7 says, Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. A man faithfully following Jesus with a tender heart toward his Savior is a gift to his family.

Let's listen in to this message titled Respectable Men from the series Live as People Who are Free. This is the third part of the sermon first preached on November 6, 2022. What is it that's going to win the wife for Christ? It's not going to be by controlling her. No one is ever controlled into the kingdom of God. No one is ever coerced into the kingdom of God, ever.

It doesn't work that way. And husbands, you can't do that to your wives. But if she looks at you and she sees your life of humble submission before Christ, following Christ, it might just get her attention.

It may not. But your obedience does not depend on any other human being. Wives, husbands, the same goes for both of you. Your obedience to God does not depend on any other person ever. Understand that she is your co-heir in the grace of life, as he says at the end of the verse. She is your co-heir in the grace of life, your equal partner in the task of being a family. So she is not a thing for you to manipulate. She is an image-bearing instrument in God's hands. Thirdly, she has, as a woman by God's design, God created man in his image. Male and female, he created them. So there's a clear difference. There's a distinction there. As a woman by God's design, she has fine-tuned sensitivities aesthetically, emotionally, spatially, and physically.

This is by God's design, and this is something that you, husbands, we husbands, are called to understand. She's not a man. Don't expect her to be one or act like one or think like one.

If both of you were the same, one of you would be unnecessary. God designed her, and because she has these fine-tuned sensitivities, that doesn't mean she's weak. That's not what makes her weak. That's not what he's talking about here when he talks about the weaker vessel. God designed her to balance out your bullish blockheadedness.

Hey, I'm speaking to myself this morning, right? And that's why we are called to nurture and cherish her as Christ did the church. She is a civilizing factor in your life. Without my wife, I would be a boy-barian. That's what she married.

What her dad was thinking when he said yes, I don't know. But she is the civilizing factor, but also she is the weaker vessel, as Paul says in this verse. That's a physical statement. And because she is the weaker vessel, she can be more easily abused. And unfortunately, all we have to do to affirm that is look at history. Look at the news today.

History, statistics. Men can be abusive, and often are. Men generally have a bigger build and have more muscle mass. That's part of being masculine. That's part of being male.

Why would Peter point this out? I believe he is saying, men, your strength, instead of using your strength against her, use your strength for her. Use your strength for her.

Never against her. She is precious. She is a precious, highly valued person to be protected.

And this is why he says in the text, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. Next two words. Showing honor. Showing honor.

Do you realize how radical that was to say something like that in the context of this history? Showing honor. What does it look like to show honor to her? And this word honor very interestingly, if we were to look at chapter 1 and verse 19, Peter states that we were ransomed, you were ransomed from your futile ways by the precious blood of Christ.

It's the same word, precious. It comes in three ways of many. I'm sure there are more ways, but what does honor involve? First of all, it involves respect. It involves respect.

As an image bearing co-heir in the grace of life, honor involves respect. She is an equal partner. She's an equal partner in this dance. Remember the slide I showed last week of pairs figure skating. Both partners are equal partners.

One initiates, one responds. That's how it works. That's how dancing works. That's how the marriage unit works.

That's God's design. So don't think for a moment, men, that you being the leader means she has to follow in your steps. It's not what that's talking about.

Because if that's what you think, you're being a jerk. She's not called to follow your steps. She's also called to follow the steps of Christ. That's how she obeys and fulfills verses one to six. She's not called to follow your steps. But you are in the family unit, in the dance of a marriage. You are the initiator. And she's the responder.

God designed it that way. So may we never see our wives as a sherpa who does everything at our whim. Showing honor involves respect. Showing honor, secondly, involves value. Value.

Go back to this word, precious. Do you value? Well, of course I value my wife. Okay, then I have a question for you. Do you communicate that value?

And I'm not just talking about words. It's one thing to say, oh, honey, you're precious to me. It's an entirely different thing for her to feel precious because of how you live with her. Value.

Showing honor to the wife. Do you just expect her to do everything for you? Do you just expect her to do whatever you want to do? That's not value. The value that we communicate needs to be spoken, and I do encourage you, men, to use words. Words can be very powerful. Communicate her value to you.

But she also needs to experience being valued. And listen, men, this is hard for us because this entails small things. Small things. A touch, a word, a word of encouragement. An encouraging thing here and there. This is where it might be helpful if you follow the five love languages, right?

Some of us are like, well, I don't know about that. But you know, the five love languages and it might be really helpful for you to know what kind of love does your wife respond to the most? What kind of love does she recognize the most? This is part of understanding her. My wife loves it when I do small acts of service for her.

I recognize that. One of the ways that the five love languages has been royally abused is that we've made it all about ourselves. We all know our love languages, and we expect people to treat us according to our love languages. You know what all that does?

All that does is shows that we are self-preeminent rebels. That's all that does. I'm not called to affirm my love languages to you. I am called to know my wife's love language and treat her thereby.

No extra charge for that, but small things. Respect, showing honor, involves respect. It involves value, communicating her value to you.

Number three, status. That she has the right status in the marriage unit. The gospel elevates women to their God-ordained place much higher than society ever has and does. In our society, in general today, yeah, there is so much push and movement today to make men equal to men, but you look anywhere where there's any kind of advertisement, and you cannot say today that women are not objectified.

It's everywhere, and it's big business. The gospel elevates women to where God designed them and desires them to be. And men, what you and I are called to do is to learn and appreciate that, and all that's implied in the live with your wives in an understanding way. Do you understand your wife?

I know men that's going to take you a lifetime to learn all that. They had complicated creatures, but God made them that way. That's not a bad thing. It's a good thing. And you and I are called to understand and to dwell with them according to that understanding. That diversity in your marriage between the male and the female, the diversity is designed to complement.

Sin has made it competitive. We're so glad you've joined us for Delight in Grace, the teaching ministry of Rich Powell, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Winston-Salem. You can hear this message and others anytime by visiting our website, www.delightingrace.com. You can also check out Pastor Rich's book, Seven Words That Can Change Your Life, where he unpacks from God's Word the very purpose for which you were designed. Seven Words That Can Change Your Life is available wherever books are sold. As always, tune in to Delight in Grace weekdays at 10 a.m.