Walk Worthy in Your Family, Part 3

Welcome to Delight in Grace, the teaching ministry of Rich Powell, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Winston-Salem. As we experience inward heart change through the redemptive work of Christ, that change will flow out into our relationships with others. Our family units begin to reflect God's love. Today, Rich examines gospel living between parents and their children from Ephesians 6, 1 through 4. Let's listen now to Walk Worthy in Your Family.

This is the third and final part of the message first preached on December 3, 2017. But if there is no love in all boundaries, that equally produces bitterness in a child. Because a parent, a father, a chicken would just come down with a hammer, you must do this because I say so, period.

And there's no other reason. And there's no love, there's no care, there's no nurturing there, there's no cherishing there. That produces bitterness in a child. The one other model is where there are no love and no boundaries.

That is just an absent parent, no love and no boundaries. And we know that clearly, all three of these will produce bitterness in a child. They will produce resentment in a child. Now, listen, these are studies that have come from the UNC Greensboro. But when I got done with that interview 30 years ago now, I told her, I says, listen, these are principles that are 3,000 years old.

And science has discovered it. You want to not provoke your children to wrath? Then you need to give them loving boundaries, loving boundaries. There needs to be boundaries. There needs to be boundaries. Your children desperately need and desire boundaries. But they need to be loving boundaries. And that's what God's law is. It is loving boundaries. And so he says, fathers, don't provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. There's four different parts here.

Bring them up. The word bring them up is the word extrafo, means to nourish them up to maturity. And I want you to think athletically here. Think in terms of fine arts, the whole idea of discipline. If when you hear the word discipline, the first thing you think of is spanking your child, you need to rearrange your paradigm because the word is paideia. It means training, instruction, correction. And yes, it does include punishment because there is punishment, which means the proper recourse against errant behavior. And a children needs to know that.

But that's not where you begin. So discipline, the word paideia, think of athletics, think of fine arts. You are honing the craft of living successfully.

You are honing the craft of knowing God and walking with him and introducing them to one who is the greatest and most important reality. This requires discipline. It takes repetition. Number one, part of discipline is repetition. Repetition is the power of memory, the power of memory. Peter said often 2 Peter 1 told, for example, therefore, I intend to always to remind you of these qualities, though you know them and are established in the truth that you have. Repetition is so powerful when it comes to memory, the power of memory.

But this also means consistency. There needs to be consistency in the training and the discipline of the child so that there is a united heart and mind so that their lives are not compartmentalized and listen to this. Are you listening, please? Parents, if your children see in you a compartmentalized life, then don't be surprised that it shows up in them. Is Christ truly preeminent in your life? Is he preeminent in your work, in your home, in your leisure, in your movie watching, in your music?

Is he preeminent there or are those parts of the pie where he doesn't apply? If your life is compartmentalized, then your children's will be too. They need consistency. This repetition of being the same everywhere you go. You're not one person at church and a different person at home. You are the same person, that consistency. Psalm 86 11, teach me your way, O Lord, that I might walk in your truth.

Unite my heart to fear your name. This is where family traditions can become very powerful. The repetition of these things, family traditions. You need to keep going. Part of discipline is repetition, also rigor.

Rigor. Teach your children to do hard things. The default disposition of your children is to do only what they feel like doing.

And there are a lot of children who have grown up into adult bodies and are still children. Life is not about doing just what you feel like doing. You need to learn to do hard things. 2 Timothy 2 15, be diligent. It is teaching your children a work ethic, the value and dignity in labor industry and creativity.

Work ethic is so important, but also teaching them that life is not about entitlement. That's what the flesh believes. The flesh screams, feed me.

And they need to be rescued from that. And that requires rigor, repetition and rigor. These are key elements of discipline.

Remember, again, think athletics. Think practicing an instrument. You don't just pick up an instrument. Oh, look, I can play it.

No, you have to play it over and over and over and over again. And so it is with bringing up a child. Thirdly, discipline involves responsibility.

Matthew 25 is a good example of this. The accountability, something that is entrusted to you and you are then accountable for it. Stewardship. It is a matter of stewardship to manage well what has been entrusted to you.

What do you have? Paul says that you did not receive. He says that to the Corinthians. So responsibility means learning stewardship, but also responsibility means learning to own your faults, to own your faults. You are imperfect. You will make mistakes.

You need to own them. You need to learn from them and not blame others. You need to learn the consequences of self-destructive behavior. Children need that desperately. It says bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And this word instruction is the word nuthasia. It means to warn, to teach, to admonish. And it is the instruction of the Lord.

So key there. Now what does instruction mean in the sense of nuthasia? Warning, teaching, and admonishing. The instruction of the Lord.

Here's number four. Bringing your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Number four, repentance. This is the Creator's call. Listen to me, folks. The Creator's call, Acts 17 30. Paul's speaking to the Athenians. God commands all men everywhere to repent.

Learn that. It is the Creator's call. He commands all men everywhere to repent, including your child. Because you need to understand, parents, listen to me, particularly those of you who have cute little bundles of joy.

That precious, cute, darling little bundle of joy is a rebel. Do you understand that? They have a sinful heart that needs to be rescued from the destructiveness of self-preeminence. And it is your task to help them in that. They need to learn repentance. They need to understand what faith is. They need to know who Jesus is from a very young age. They need to know the gospel from a very young age.

They need to be rescued from the destructiveness of self-preeminence. And they need to learn to seek forgiveness. Every child needs to learn to seek forgiveness. You know there is a difference between saying, I'm sorry and forgive me.

Did you know there's a difference? Saying, I'm sorry is you're just letting them know how you feel. Asking forgiveness means that you recognize that you did sinful behavior and you sinned against them and against God. It is confessing the rebellion in your heart. Here's point number five in bringing your children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Number five, renewing the mind. Paul says to Timothy, from a child you have known the holy scriptures which are able to make you wise unto salvation. Jesus instructs us to abide in His word.

It is God's self-disclosure. They need to learn the big picture, rescue them from the myosyphs, view of life, the right here, the right now. They need to learn the big picture. They need to know the things of true eternal value, lasting value, what things are really important in life. That comes from renewing the mind so that their attitudes are informed. They need to have informed attitudes, habits of thought, where word of God is their reference, their light, it is their truth.

And they need to learn to move from hating and hoarding to gratitude and generosity. Number six, respect. Bringing your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord involves respect.

Number six, that others are more important. That is the mind of Christ. They need to learn the mind of Christ. They need to learn proper humility which is a proper self-understanding.

The self-esteem movement has damaged so many people because they have an inaccurate understanding of themselves. In Christ, you have an accurate understanding of self and they need to learn proper humility. Through respect, they learn a godly disposition toward authority. And also, they need to learn to respect God's image in others. Children need to learn that. And then lastly, reverence.

Reverance. Bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord involves reverence. Worship the Lord.

Him only shall you serve. Children need to learn that. They need to learn the conclusion of the book of Ecclesiastes. Fear God and keep his commandments. This is the whole duty of man. God is the greatest and most important reality.

It is before him in the end that you will stand. They need to learn to sense God by walking with him. To learn the depth of his love, the riches of his grace, the fullness of his presence.

But they also need to learn that worship is not just sensing God but serving God. To live for him in the outflow. To let your light shine.

To live for a higher purpose and a higher person. Listen, I know this is a tall order. We've just kind of run through this. This is a very tall order. I understand this. Dad, listen to me, Dad. Hear the Holy Spirit calling you to take the lead in these matters. Don't relegate this to Mom.

Dad, the highest responsibility for this stands on your shoulders. Don't provoke your children to wrath. You bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. These are the words of God to us today through the Apostle Paul.

Would you stand with me, please? Father, it is with grateful hearts that we look to you and we hear you as your spirit is working in us. Father, I pray that you would grant us understanding, grant us humility, grant us repentance. Father, as we acknowledge where we are self-preeminent. But Father, I pray that you would give us wisdom and instruction in this. That we will be careful to continue to grow and mature in the training and instruction of the Lord.

And we will do so particularly with our children. Thank you, Father, for being such a good father. Thank you for giving us the example of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so we look to him, Father, as the pioneer of our faith that we will follow him and walk in his steps towards you. We pray these things in Jesus' name.

Amen. We're so glad you've joined us for Delight in Grace, the teaching ministry of Rich Powell, pastor of Grace Bible Church in Winston-Salem. You can hear this message and others anytime by visiting our website, www.delightingrace.com. You can also check out Pastor Rich's book, Seven Words That Can Change Your Life, where he unpacks from God's word the very purpose for which you were designed. Seven Words That Can Change Your Life is available wherever books are sold. As always, tune in to Delight in Grace weekdays at 10 a.m.