Can I Be a Christian and Date a Non-believer?

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Episode one is available now, wherever you listen to podcasts. Over the years as a pastor, I've counseled several people who were single and looking to be in a relationship, but for whatever reason had trouble finding someone to date who shared their Christian convictions. In the process, they meet someone who seems to check every other box.

There's the attraction, chemistry and conversation. You seem to get along great, but they're not really serious about religion and in particular about a relationship with Jesus. Can I be a Christian and date a non-believer? Oftentimes in this scenario, it's not that the person is openly hostile towards your faith.

They might say, oh yeah, I used to go to church as a kid, or I love that you're so spiritual and that this is a part of your life. They might even be willing to go to church with you. We've all heard stories of individuals who came to faith through missionary dating, but does that mean it's a good idea? In the Old Testament, God strictly forbade his people from entering into relationships with those outside of the covenant community. Moses told the people, you shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me to serve other gods, Deuteronomy chapter seven, verses three and four.

This prohibition was about avoiding idolatry. In Israel's history, relationships with foreign women often led to apostasy. For example, in Numbers 25, Israel began to worship Baal after relationships with Moabite women resulting in a plague.

Similarly, Solomon fell into idolatry because of his foreign wives in 1 Kings chapter 11. The New Testament carries the same principle. Paul wrote to the Corinthians encouraging marriage in the Lord, meaning with someone united to Jesus by faith. He wrote, a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord, 1 Corinthians chapter seven, verse 39. Paul also wrote, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

2 Corinthians 6, 14. If you're a follower of Jesus struggling with this issue, remember, God knows your desire for a relationship. Don't let impatience lead you to settle for someone who doesn't share your faith. You don't want someone to see a relationship with Jesus as merely a way to be with you. That often ends in hurt. Commit to saying, as a follower of Jesus, my potential partner must also follow Jesus.

This isn't just a preference, it's a non-negotiable. College professor of mine used to say, run after Jesus with all of your heart, and as you're running, look to your right or your left. If you see someone of the opposite sex running at the same pace, say, will you marry me? The point is, find someone to chase after Jesus with you. So dating someone indifferent to Jesus is no big deal to you. Consider whether Jesus is as much of a priority in your life as he should be. I mean, if you're fine dating someone who could take or leave Jesus, could that be because you yourself could also take or leave Jesus? This is so important for us as followers of Christ.

There are those warnings that we see throughout the scripture, the Old and the New Testament, because God is jealous for his people, and he's jealous for you. Is the biblical view of marriage an outdated convention, or does that actually lead to human flourishing? In our short book, Why Would Anyone Get Married?, Dr. David Ayers seeks to answer this very question. Today, the nature of marriage is up for debate, and people are grasping at answers for its purpose and design.

Now more than ever, Christians should be able to answer the difficult questions about the purpose of marriage. Get your free copy today while supplies last at solomedia.org slash offers. That's solomedia.org forward slash offers.