How Do I Live as a New Christian When My Fiance Is a Non-Believer?

How do I live as a new Christian when my fiance is a non-believer? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of Core Christianity. Well, hi, this is Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. Our phone lines are open, and you can call us for the next 25 minutes or so. Here's our phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Now, you can also post your question on one of our social media sites. In fact, we're on YouTube, and you can watch Adriel right now in the studio on YouTube and send him your question through our YouTube channel. And of course, you're always welcome to email us as well. Here's our email address.

It's questions at corechristianity.com. First up today, let's go to Leanne calling in from South Dakota. Leanne, what's your question for Adriel? Hey, Pastor Adriel. Hey, I'm going through a difficult time understanding what God is doing in my life with some hard circumstances, and I feel, you know, kind of like Saul, where God says, you know, stop kicking against the goads. And I feel like I'm wrestling with God, and I'm angry that, you know, after much prayer, years of prayer and fasting and, you know, imploring him to help me. He's not doing things the way I would like him to, but I also don't want to be storing up wrath against myself by wrestling with God.

I just wondered if you could shed some light on that for me. Well, Leanne, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult time right now, and I want to take a moment to pray for you. And then let's talk about that language of storing up wrath. It comes from Romans chapter 2, and I have some other thoughts as well. But Father, we lift Leanne up to you right now. And God, we know, especially in times of difficulty, how confusing things can be, not knowing, Lord, what to do, or even understanding, Lord, what it is that you're doing in our lives. Thank you that we have the promise of your word that through Jesus you are able to make all things work together for the good of those who love you and are called according to your purpose, even the great trials and tribulations that we face. And so I pray that you would comfort my sister with that reality, that your spirit would be present with her and in her, and that you would be guiding her, Lord, in these days, helping her to be faithful to you and to your word in the midst of the difficulty she's facing. In Jesus' name, amen.

Well, a couple of things, sister. You mentioned I don't want to be, I don't want to be, I don't want to store up wrath for myself. Now, the wrath of God is not for the children of God.

Jesus bore the wrath of God in our place as our substitute. And when the Bible talks about people who store up wrath, it's those who reject Christ and his law and his word. I mentioned that that language comes from Romans chapter 2, where Paul is illustrating the universal sinfulness of mankind, not just Gentiles, but also Jews. And he's writing there in particular to Jewish believers who were hypocrites, essentially.

He says, therefore, you have no excuse. Oh man, every one of you who judges, for in passing judgment on another, you condemn yourself because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, oh man, you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God is meant to lead you to repentance, but because of your hard and impenitent heart, you are storing up wrath for yourselves on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed. And so the call for these people, Leanne, is to turn to Christ, to repent, not to be hypocrites in judging and condemning others while practicing the exact same thing and, you know, rejecting the gospel.

But he's saying, no, you need Jesus. And of course, that's what he's going to say very clearly in Romans chapter 3 verse 21, but now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the law and the prophets bear witness to it, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. And so if you believe in Jesus, the wrath of God is no longer looming over you.

You are a child of the true and the living God. Now we experience trials and tribulations as the children of God and the discipline of the Lord when we sin, and that's something that you see in places like Psalm 73. I think of that psalm in particular as you were talking about, you know, kind of where you are and how you feel right now wrestling with the Lord. I want you to just listen to what the psalmist said there. This is a psalm of Asaph, and he says, truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped, for I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. And then he begins to talk about how all these people who don't follow God seem so blessed and, you know, they're always at ease. Verse 12, always at ease, they increase in riches. And then Asaph says in verse 13, all in vain I have kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence, for all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning. In other words, here's someone who is a follower of God and yet feels like they're every day just stricken down, rebuked.

They don't have the health and the wealth and, you know, all of the goods that these enemies of God seem to have. And Asaph says, you know, he's really questioning the goodness of God here, but then he says, when I went into the temple of God, I realized their end. And he comes to this conclusion at the very end of the psalm. Verse 25, whom have I in heaven but you?

And there is nothing on earth that I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Behold, those who are far from you shall perish. You put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you, but for me it is good to be near God. I have made the Lord my refuge that I may tell of all your works. I don't know exactly what you're going through right now, but in the wrestling, in the struggle, in maybe even the questioning God's goodness, to know that the Lord through Christ is still with you, that Jesus says, I will never leave you or forsake you. The psalmist there in Psalm 73 verse 23 said, nevertheless I am continually with you.

You hold my right hand. Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we don't have to fear any evil because the Lord is with us, and through Christ the Lord is with you. And so may he grant you peace. Thank you, God bless. Ligand, thanks so much for calling and for listening to Core Christianity. We'll pray for you in your situation. We'd love to hear from you if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, doctrine, theology. Hey, we are open to your calls. Maybe you're struggling in some area of your Christian walk. We'd love to hear from you as well. We'd be glad to pray for you. Or maybe you have some doubts about the Christian faith.

Perhaps you consider yourself to be an agnostic or an atheist. We're always welcome to receive your questions. Here's the number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Let's go to Sandra. Sandra, where are you calling from? Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Fort Wayne, Indiana. Well, great to hear from you. What's your question for Adriel? So my question is, if you're taken up during the rapture and you come back during the thousand-year millennial reign, do you lose your life again, or do you stay alive for that thousand years? Because it says in the Bible that, you know, during the millennial, that people will be living to be a hundred-plus years old, babies won't die, this, that, and the other.

So I was just wondering, you know, do you stay alive or do you lose your physical body again? Hey, Sandra, that's an excellent question. And let me just say, at the outset, there are different ways that Christians have approached the idea of the millennium. And so some would say the millennium is still in the future. When Jesus comes back at his second coming, he's going to reign on the earth during that time. And then you're going to have that thousand-year reign, a literal thousand-year reign, taken from Revelation chapter 20 is the idea. And during that time, there are some who say you're going to have glorified believers together with those who are not yet glorified on the earth, Jesus reigning. That's one way of taking those passages.

It's not the way that I understand those passages. My sense is that when Christ returns and you have the resurrection, that final resurrection that is our hope as believers, that's when you also get the ushering in of the new creation, what we see at the very end of the book of Revelation. And there's not going to be any more death or sorrow. All the former things are going to be passed away. Revelation 21 verse 4, he will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore for the former things have passed away. Now, how do we make sense of those prophecies in the Old Testament that seem to depict the reign of God as this reign of abundance?

You know, people are living into old age and, you know, children not dying in infancy. Well, we have to understand that this sort of, some people have referred to this as the prophetic idiom. You know, we're looking at these texts of scripture as the prophets were painting a picture of what God's kingdom was going to look like.

They were using, you know, the stuff that would have made sense. I mean, just imagine this perfect world, you know, where there isn't any sickness, where there isn't any more war, where we're beating our swords into tools for cultivating the earth instead of fighting each other. That's what we're looking forward to. And of course, I mean, that's a picture of ultimately the new creation, but the reality that we have is even better than the picture that was painted there. It's more ultimate.

It's more final. It's no more death and perfect joy in the presence of God. And boy, that's something that we all long for and look forward to, sister.

Thank you for reaching out. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We have a lot of great Bible studies here at the Core, and we have a new one we want to tell you about.

It's actually one that is written by Adriel. Yeah, this is a study on the book of Daniel. And let me just say, I think one of the reasons why it's so important for us to study the book of Daniel right now is because Daniel gives this sort of snapshot of history, the kingdoms of this world ultimately which will bow before the true King of Kings and Lord of Lords. There's this amazing vision that King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon has, a dream really in Daniel chapter 2, that Daniel helps to interpret for him, giving him this sort of picture of the flow of history, human history, and the fact that God is sovereign in control of everything.

And in days like our own today where so many people are concerned, afraid, it's comforting to know that there is a God in heaven who reigns and who is still on the throne. And so I hope that you'll get a hold of this resource. Again, it's a new Bible study. We have it available on PDF. I mean, you could just download it, or we have a beautiful hard copy that you can also get this 10-week study on the book of Daniel. You know, this Bible study and all the things we do here at Core Christianity are made possible thanks to the generous support of people just like you. We are a non-profit ministry.

We're listener-supported. And when you give a gift of $25 or more, we'll send you a copy of this study to thank you for contributing to Core Christianity. Once again, you can find it by going to corechristianity.com forward slash offer.

Again, that's corechristianity.com forward slash Daniel for the new Bible study on Daniel. Well, let's go to Antonio calling in from Minnesota. Antonio, what's your question for Pastor Adriel?

I guess we don't have Antonio. Antonio, let's go to a voicemail that came in from one of our listeners. This one came in earlier this week from Joma. I recently have devoted myself to God, and I wanted to know how do I go about this change in my life, as well as my fiancee, and I have a son of 15 years old, so I really want to devote myself to him. I just don't know where to begin. Thank you. Well, first, Joma, let me say praise God. I'm glad to hear that you have recently devoted yourself to the Lord, and you know the beautiful thing is God has been at work in your life drawing you to himself, giving you an understanding of your own sin, of your need of God's grace and the gospel, and so there's nothing more precious than just embracing that realization and receiving the mercy of God for you in Jesus Christ. I hope that in the days ahead you will continue to grow in the grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ, and that you'll get plugged into a solid church where the word of God is valued and proclaimed boldly, the whole council of scripture, and that you'll continue to mature in your faith. Now, what do you do in a situation right now? You're engaged to someone who is not devoted to the Lord in the same way that you are.

Well, let me say something to you. This can be really hard, but just thinking about this relationship that you have now with God, this new reality that you've come to understand, the Bible says that for us as believers we're called to marry. When we get married in the Lord, it doesn't give us a lot of, you know, the person has to look this way or, you know, have this sort of characteristic, although, I mean, obviously integrity is so important, but the main thing scripture says is for Christians we marry in the Lord, meaning when we pursue marriage with someone, it should be someone who shares that same faith commitment with us. That's so important. We don't want to be what the Bible calls unequally yoked.

Why? Because so often when that happens, we're drawn away, dragged away from the truth of God's word, from that relationship with Christ. Paul says in 2 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 14, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God. And so you have to view yourself now as I'm a child of God filled with the Holy Spirit. My body is the temple of the living God and I'm called in marriage to be joined with someone who is a believer. And so I think what you should do is not continue to pursue the marriage unless you guys are on the same page as far as faith in Christ is concerned. And so maybe that looks like having a conversation, obviously, I mean, probably a lot of conversations and saying, I'm really coming to mature in my faith and understanding who God is.

My faith is my sins are forgiven. I mean, just sharing what the Lord has done in your life, sister, and saying, I'm realizing that this is the core of who I am, my identity and what I'm called to pursue in my life, called to honor the Lord. And I want to be married to someone who also wants that in their life as well. And I realize you're in a difficult situation because you're engaged. This is someone that you love.

You guys are planning a wedding, but I wonder if you couldn't dial it back and say, hey, let's look at this. Let's think about who God is and see if this person, maybe the Lord, truly the Lord is calling this person, would this person follow Christ as well? And if they don't, if they're not willing to, if they object to that, then I would say, this isn't something that you should continue to pursue.

That doesn't mean you can't have a friendship. That doesn't mean that you don't love this person, but prioritizing, honoring God and his word and following Christ, I think is the main thing. And so may God give you wisdom and courage and boldness, and may God bring peace in this situation and open the heart of your fiance as well, that he would be sensitive to the fact that God has really done a work in your life and that the Lord would convict him and do a work in his life as well.

Some good counsel. Thanks for that, Adriel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go to Jared calling in from Texas. Jared, what's your question for Adriel?

Hi. So the question is, I guess, in a way related to assurance. I know that there's distortions of easy believism or legalism on the other end. And I heard a term recently called pietism, which looks inwardly at fruit, affections or good works as the primary objective for the grounds of assurance.

I've called in before, and it's still something that eats me up daily. It gets to the point where it's hard to, I mean, just enjoy different things without fearing that, you know, I'm choosing God's gifts over him or, you know, blasphemous thoughts, things of that nature. And it just, at a certain point, it really does make me insecure as to whether or not I'm in the Lord. And just wondering how to come about that, because I know that no human can ever give me assurance. It's the Holy Spirit's work, but it becomes very scary.

Yeah. Well, Father, we thank you for Jared and just knowing the battle, that tension that he feels. I want to pray for him once again and just ask, Lord, that you would fill him with your spirit, that that assurance that he does long for, God, that you would, by the grace of your spirit and through the promise of your gospel, help him to rest, Lord. Not to be or to exhaust himself, Lord, with that introspection, that morbid introspection so often, but to look up to you and to your son and to see the great mercy and love that you have for him. Oh, Lord, be with Jared, we pray in Jesus' name.

Amen. Now, there really are three grounds of assurance in the New Testament. We can, I think, look at our lives and say, okay, I can see the work that's going on in our lives and say, okay, I can see the work of the Lord. God is bearing fruit in my life.

And too often, people will look primarily at that. And I think that's where you do fall into sort of pietism and that morbid self-introspective spirit where you're always trying to look within and you realize, because we still have indwelling sin, that we still struggle. Even the good things that we do, there isn't one good thing that we do, truly good work that we do before the Lord that isn't still tainted with sin. And so we can see that and just think, boy, do I really belong to the Lord. That's why we're called above that to look at the promise that God has for us in the Gospel.

Christ crucified for you. What he says in his word, that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. You have to take those promises and say, God, I don't always feel forgiven, but I am going to take you at your word. And God, you know my heart. You know that more than anything, I long to know your love and to know your grace. And Jesus said, Jared, that those who come to him, he will in no wise cast out that when you go to him, longing for that grace and mercy, he doesn't shut the door in your face.

He doesn't, you know, turn his back on you, but he showers us with his grace and mercy and forgiveness. And that is the promise that we have in his word. And Satan wants us to doubt that promise. And so often when we just see, you know, looking within, when we just see that indwelling sin, we doubt that promise on our own because we think, oh, I'm just not, I know that I'm not that good. I know that I have evil thoughts, even blasphemous thoughts. None of those are enough, if you will, to sever you from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ.

We do have those feelings, those thoughts, those struggles with sin, with the flesh, but you have been crucified with Jesus Christ through faith, through holy baptism. Continue to cling, my friend, to the promise of the gospel, to sink your teeth deep into it. Every time you take the Lord's Supper, when you go into church, to say, this is the body and blood of Jesus for me. Thank you, Lord. And so there's nothing wrong with saying, okay, thank you, Lord, for the ways you've worked in my life. I can see the fruit of your grace in my life.

But primarily it's that promise of the gospel that you need to cling to and may God, through that gospel and by the power of his spirit, grant you increased assurance in the days ahead as you cling to Jesus. God bless. God bless. Some great words of assurance. Thanks for that. And Jared, thanks so much for being a regular listener here at CORE Christianity. Well, let's go to Ramona calling in from Memphis, Tennessee.

Ramona, what's your question for Adriel? Yeah, one of my favorite radio preachers who passed away some time ago said that we should not confess our sins one to another. And I thought that was not right. I thought I had read in the Bible that we are supposed to confess our sins one to another.

You're absolutely correct. Now, I don't know what this radio preacher was getting at necessarily, but we are instructed in various places in the New Testament and encouraged to confess our sins to each other. Now, of course, you know, you don't have to confess to another person. You can confess your sins directly to God through Jesus Christ because he is our great high priest. He is the one mediator between God and man. But there's a benefit to opening up and confessing to a brother or sister or pastor, elders in your church, because it's a way in which we put our sins into the light.

We put them to death, getting accountability and the encouragement that we need. The text you were probably thinking of is James chapter 5, verse 16. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. And of course, you have that language in 1 John chapter 1, verses 5 and following where we're told that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to cleanse us, to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. And so I want to encourage you to confess your sins to the Lord. And as you continue to fight against them, you know, when you have trusted friends, to bring those sins into the light and get the accountability that you need as you continue to pursue the Lord and walk with Christ. God bless. Be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's Word together.