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My Spouse is Twisting Scripture to Justify Abusing Me. What Should I Do?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
The Truth Network Radio
April 20, 2022 6:30 am

My Spouse is Twisting Scripture to Justify Abusing Me. What Should I Do?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

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April 20, 2022 6:30 am

Episode 949 | Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier answer caller questions.

Show Notes

Questions in this Episode

1. What constitutes as a good prayer?

2. What is blasphemy, and if you blaspheme the Holy Spirit are you not also blaspheming the Father and the Son since they are one God?

3. I recently spoke to a man who actually said that he hits his wife to “chasten her.” He seemed to be happy about it and he said, “well we are supposed to love our wives as Jesus loves the church and He chastens those He loves.” That made me angry and so sad. I was shocked. I know he is misusing scripture for his purpose, maybe something is wrong with him. I simply said that if you beat your wife you are not a man or a Christian. What do you say to such a “man”?

4. My friend’s husband is verbally and mentally abusive. I think the Bible speaks of adultery as being the only grounds for divorce so how can I help her? She has spoken with our pastor and he told her “remember your vows” and I do understand that, but I feel it’s abuse even if it isn’t physical and I’m worried for her.

5. How does the Bible define “election”?

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Core Question – Have I Committed the Unpardonable Sin?

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How can we stop domestic abuse in the church.

That's just one of the questions will be answering on today's addition of core Christianity IRB will monitor long past real centers and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question. Here's our phone number is 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673.

Our phone lines will be open for the next 25 minutes. So jump on your phone right now at 833.core. You can also post your question on one of our social media sites and you can check us out on YouTube as well. We have a YouTube channel and you can message a drill that way right in the studio. Of course, you're always welcome to email us at questions at core, Today here's a voicemail from one of our listeners named Monique and they know that having company today to celebrate the Lord, my family and only bipolar really talk about the Lord.

So I'm wondering if you could help me.

I know the Holy Spirit and well-defined wondering what your thinking, God bless you as well. You know, God uses the dinner table when I first really started to learn about the Christian faith and growing in my own understanding of Scripture. A lot of the growth came around dinner tables with with other believers with other Christians and hearing them pray and the conversations that they would have and so I just want to commend you sister to the fact that you're thinking about this in May the Lord bless you and you soon your conversation and in your prayers as well.

Now there are places you can go to in Scripture. I mean if you're just looking for a general prayer of thanksgiving.

There are Psalms of Thanksgiving that you might want to go to in the Old Testament and and you could you could use some of the language there that the psalmist uses of praying. Just Scripture I think is a really good thing oftentimes you know what I think one thing we want to be careful with this union. I'm sure you've heard this before. You know somebody's praying. But there really addressing the people around them. They're not focusing their attention on God in prayer that something we want to avoid in prayer.

First and foremost is speaking to God. It's not speaking to others.

In fact Jesus when he's talking about prayer in Matthew chapter 6 he gives a couple warning she needs.

Don't pray like the hypocrites that this the scribes and the Pharisees and they pray they pray to be seen by others. They want people to think of their there so holy. They're so pious.

I think it's just just offering a prayer of faith up to the Lord with thanksgiving for God's goodness for God's provision that means that people people learn from from that recognizing that my trust is in Jesus. He's the one who supplies all of my needs and so I would say fixing your eyes on the Lord thanking God from your heart for for his provision in in your life. Both of the physical provision that that you have in front of you.

You're about to partake of, but also his provision ultimately of the bread of life. Jesus his son and so may God bless you as as as you pray to him, and as you seek to honor him and may God bless the conversations around your dinner table. Your listing to core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez, we do receive a lot of questions about heaven on this program and to answer those questions were offering you an excellent free resource today. Yeah, I'm excited about this resource bill. It's called Seven things everyone needs to know about heaven or seven things you need to know about heaven and it's free over core,

Of course we oftentimes get questions about heaven. What's it going to be like that. That is heavenly hope that we have. There's also a lot of confusion about heaven. No there there are many Christians just think that the final destination for all of us is heaven but but heaven actually isn't the final destination for the believer it's it's a place where we are for a time until the resurrection of the dead, and that the new creation, you know, actually the whole world is going to be glorified. Therefore, to be a new heavens and a new earth. And so we want to help clear up some of the confusion about heaven with this resource.

Again, it's called seven things you need to know about heaven and it's yours for free over it.

Core, would love to get that in your hands.

Just go to core and look for seven things you need to know about heaven, you can always call us for that resource or any one of our resources at 833. The core let's go to Tina calling in from Kansas City Kansas to know what your question for Israel harder not get you toward me and the holy God. Are you not also outline the main lines naming the father and son because they are three and one Tina, thank you for that question yet blasphemy Nina described or talked about throughout the Scriptures to be a sin associated with the holy things of God, a sin against the holy things of God. His worship, for example, his name and so it's almost sin directed directly at the Lord, and in particular with regard to your question they pertaining to the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Jesus says very clearly in Matthew chapter 12 verse 31. I tell you every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven. People but the blasphemy against the spirit will not be forgiven, and whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven either in this age or in the age to come in. So Jesus is talking about a very specific kind of sin here Tina, the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

Of course, all sin is sin against God, the holy one, the triune God. But here specifically, Jesus is responding to something that the religious leaders were doing what they were accusing him of being possessed by a devil casting out demons by the power of Satan.

Now, actually, the works that Jesus was accomplishing were not done obviously by any sort of satanic power they were done by the power of the Holy Spirit, and so these people were associating the work of the Holy Spirit through the ministry of Christ with the work of Satan and you can just see how hard their hearts were there totally rejecting the work of God there totally rejecting the gospel in Jesus is saying if you do that if you persist in that there is no hope for you if you continually reject the work of God such that your you go so far as even this. It's just demonic you sometimes I just want to say that sometimes people are afraid that they've committed the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit because they've they've sinned in some way or maybe they've repeatedly send in some way and they're just their hearts are are grieved in their there devastated and they're afraid you have a send away the grace of God will if you're feeling that way. The answer is no, you you haven't been the person who blasphemes the Holy Spirit is someone who could care less. These people were saying Jesus you're possessed by the devil.

We don't care about you about what you're saying about what you're teaching and so so we have to recognize that in the context there of Matthew chapter 12 is talking about a very specific sin and and that's why he makes the statement that he makes, but you are correct and that all sin is sin against the holy Trinity.

Thanks for your question to appreciate that this is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez. Our phone lines will be open for the next 15 minutes or so.

If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life.

Maybe a question about doctrine or theology or how your Christian life. Your Christian walk intersects with what's happening in our culture today. Feel free to give us a call 833-843-2670 3833.

The core is the number here's a voicemail from one of our listeners named Michael I was talking to somebody under your Christian another man married and made me really angry and said that she actually his life as he said that were supposed to love our lives the way Christ loved the church and Christ just as those who we love I were shocked when you said that, especially after said it was a Christian and I know he's misusing Scripture for his own purposes. Whether he understands that are not or is not something wrong with him. I don't know. I told him look. If you actually get you what you're not much of a man are Christian and and left.

I asked God to forgive me.

Obviously percent is not a venal not a Christian because that's probably not true between him and God obviously. But how should I address that I know I know he's misusing Scripture but I don't know how to properly address it. No man-to-man.

Thank you. By man what what a horrible situation when a heartbreaking situation. Yes, this is a clear twisting of Scripture. Peter talks about people who twist the scriptures to their own destruction. That's what this individual is doing really what needs to happen to me. I think with when there are situations like this of clear abuse and is this person is basically owning up to the fact boasting in the fact that he abuses his wife, and I think that the authorities need to get involved in. It sounds like this is not a safe situation for this woman this person is obviously so hardhearted that they're able to do just boast about this as though what he was doing was honoring to God. And this is this is spiritual abuse.

This is physical abuse this is emotional abuse. This is way, way out there and and and I think this individual needs to be confronted. I don't think you need to feel bad for the things that you said individuals like this I mean do I do I think were dealing with a wolf here.

Quite frankly and and we deal with wolves in the church. One way and we deal with wolves differently than we deal with someone who's who struggling with sin and is a repentant sinner. This is an abuser who is praying on people praying on his wife.

In particular, and so I would say the authorities need to be involved if if you claiming to be a Christian. Obviously I'm there needs to be church discipline there. There needs to be accountability. She, the wife needs to be brought into safety and thought I would just encourage you to to intervene in whatever way that you can and even contact the authorities as well because that's that is a terrible situation while I will be praying for that situation. My: first of all else. I thank you for your willingness to intervene and get involved in such a terrible situation but I would echo what to what Israel said contact the authorities and certainly get the church leadership involved in this.

This is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez and Israel actually have an email that's very close to this topic. This is from Denise and she says I'm trying to give biblical counsel to a friend of mine and I need direction, she's a believer and her spouse professes to be a believer. He is verbally abusive, even to the point of telling her he hates her. He curses at her and her kids.

He says he's never loved her, and the side of her makes him want to throw up. He will leave for a few days and then come back. She's willing to see a marriage counselor but he is not.

He's never been physically abusive to her or their children, but very mentally abusive. I don't want my personal feelings for my friend to influence my counsel to her. I know the Bible speaks of adultery as being the only grounds for divorce.

So how can I help her. She is spoken with her pastor and he told her to remember your vows. I don't understand.

I do understand that but I feel it's abuse, even if it is physical and I'm worried for her. Thank you so much I value your godly guidance yet that past that pastor's advice is by me, and I think that's of the wrong approach and I'm saying that as a pastor. If you have a man in your church who is verbally, emotionally, spiritually abusive to his wife and you're not addressing that you're not bringing discipline for not calling this individual to repentance and ministering to caring for the wife you got it backwards. It sounds to me like she's just been told, you know what will put up with it and I don't know if this pastor is is addressing the serious issue of sin, you know, Paul told Timothy in first Timothy chapter 5 that individual doesn't care for or take care of his own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever and it it right there in the context there is talking about monetary provision caring for those who are in need in your family but there there are more than one there's more than one way to care for your family for those in your house will be. Sounds like this individual in one senses is functionally abandoning his spouse leaving for days at a time kind keeping her in the dark. All of these are are are red flags and it may be. I think a second-best separation could be wise, I think, is it is a sick process and and and figure this out and obviously their people need to come around this.

The wife and call this man to repentance. You said I know, I know that the only grounds for divorce and in Scripture is is adultery actually the apostle Paul also seems to suggest in first grade. In chapter 7 that abandonment of what went when one spouse abandons the other very impotent in one sense proving right that that that they're not concerned with the things of Christ that that to that that doesn't you're not bound. If your your spouse abandons units. It sounds to me like that's in part was heaven. I don't I don't know the situation fully and of course on the broadcast we were always really careful not to just say how you need to go do this and you do that, especially with these hands, marital situations, but I would just say boy that the wife is want to minister to that sister and and plead with her and plead with the church that that she's a part of to to address this issue to to shine a light on the abuse and can call this man to repentance and to care for his sister who is not being cared for right now. In fact, was was being abused and so yeah Bill I and I know you. You've worked with tense merit situations. But what would you add well I'm really my heart is broken by the fact that the pastor gave her that advice. I personally think if he is unresponsive. If he's not confronting that husbands and if he is knowledgeable about it. He knows what's going on and he's basically telling her look just grin and bear it.

I think she's leave the church I don't know if you pastor been on there was absent spiritual abuse going on there.

Absolutely. And sometimes it can be helpful to a knife I've had conversations with people about this is is an appeal.

So maybe we can go see Kent. Sounds like this individual is not interested in seeing a counselor, but what he really needs to see is an abuse count what they need to season abuse counselor is going to help her to peel back the layers of this pattern of sinful behavior that is destructive. It's destructive for the man's soul. You continue in this and you're going to just end up in hell frankly yummy this is. This is so out there but it's it's also hurting the people around him is Ashley's wife and kids and she needs to be in a situation where she's being cared for and ministered to and that's not happening right now and so II pray that this this friend will be able to to come in and be a part and that the church really gets its act together and you know what we often encourage our listeners to pray for situations. Although we don't have names here just be in prayer for this wife and this church in this whole situation that the God's truth would would be known and that the people would make the right decisions regarding the so the situation this is core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez met some heavy stuff on today's program and of course were always open to any questions you have about the Bible, the Christian life, or what's going on in the church, here's the number 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 let's go to Eddie in Tennessee, Eddie, what's your question for pastor. Israel, no election what what you think election 2012 nine And what should Dr. meaning of election is in the Bible. Well one night deny preachers affected were getting the text of Scripture and you have the language of election throughout the Scriptures really come God talks about letting Israel and the old covenant right in NY that he chooses really wasn't because they were the greatest nation will wasn't because they were holy or righteous or because they were more numerous than other nations. Was it just because a God's great love and his promise to the patriarchs into their offspring and so so election is something we see in the Old Testament and New Testament there with the election of Israel under the old covenant in the New Testament we we also see the language of election in places like the book of Ephesians and the book of Romans in in Ephesians chapter 1. This is a good text to go to verse three Paul said, Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world. We should be holy and blameless before him in love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ according the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace these to you talking about that the electing grace of God, not on the basis of anything that we've done or would do but on the basis of his will. The God who works everything according to the counsel of his will. Paul is in a going to say there in verse 11 of Ephesians chapter 1, and of course he has an extended discussion on the doctrine of election in places like Romans chapter 9 where he's lamenting the fact that many of the Jews did not come to faith in Christ. When Jesus showed up on the scene, a symbol it's not of the word of God is failed.

Not all are Israel who are descended from Israel and then he begins again to talk about the that the grace of God in election so so if your question is what is my view, my view is that God before the foundation of the world chooses his people purely on the basis of his grace is is sovereign was not it's not that God said as he was able God chose me because he foresaw that I would choose him as really I chose him and he is using me because I chose him. No, actually I think I think the language in the New Testament is stronger. I think it's before the foundation of the world before you do anything good or bad.

Paul says in in Romans nine card shows us purely on the basis of his grace and mercy. Now there a lot of people have may have a hard time with this doctrine and, particularly, just be honest with you I did when I was wrestling through these passages when I was a Christian back in college studying the Bible preparing for pastoral ministry that outgrows wrestling through these things, but at the end of the day brothers and sisters as we want to do on this on this broadcast is just go to the Scriptures was go to the Scriptures. Let's reason together.

Let's look at the text of Scripture and let God speak to us and shape our beliefs. According to his word and one of the reasons I did. Many people have a hard time with this is because we want to believe that we are sovereign whereon control. I'm the one who's on the throne. It's scary for us to think of of of that not being the case that you're not the sovereign will.

And you're not the one who is on the throne and you know what praise God for that.

You don't want me on the throne you want to God who is good and gracious, who knows all things, and and yet extends his merciful love to sinners, to people who don't deserve it and I think we see that all over the place in the Bible and Ephesians and Romans are a couple places you could go for that.

That he thanks so much for your call. Thanks for being a regular listener to core Christianity let's go to Terry calling in from Nebraska. Terry, what's your question for pastor. Israel will I don't have a question for you. I have an encouragement for you. I am a survivor of domestic nightly and that's what going on in our church and literally there is one day in church he got angry with me and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out of the pew. After church and we were in marital counseling with another couple from the church and I took her aside into the bathroom.

Any and while she kept shouting out there.

There I constantly need to let you need to submit and you're not allowing him his proper role and I had to another room with me and I started making clothes off and showing her scars and showing her bruises and she literally put her hands over her eyes that she didn't want to. The and I went through several years.

About five years altogether other than trying to date that and I finally had one pastor that are passed at the time found out and get up for me night there were so many Christian that gave me that horrible, dangerous advice Terry one. I think God for delivering you out of that situation and them. This is why it's so important for us to know the word of God well and and to care for the sheep to to follow Jesus in standing up for and protecting the vulnerable and there are there are marriages in them Terry again I'm gone glad that God is brought you out of that their marriages were people are suffering and in danger into often. I think in the church pews and well you know just submit no that's not what Jesus would have for you in that situation.

If you're in danger if you really need to get the authorities involved friends. That's what Jesus would want you to do is to Terry God bless you and may God bring you healing and peace. Thanks for listening to core Christianity request your copy of today's special offer. Visit us at core, and click on offers and the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833 when you contact us. Please let us know how you been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time.

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