My Child Wants to Identify as Transgender. What Should I Do?

Our child wants to identify as transgender.

What should we do? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Well, hi, I'm Bill Meyer along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can also post your question on our Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter account. You can send us a message through our YouTube channel. And of course, you can always email us your question at questionsatcorechristianity.com.

Our phone lines will be open for the next 25 minutes or so. So hop on the phone right now with your question for Adriel. First up, let's go to Matthew calling in from St. Louis, Missouri. Matthew, what's your question for Adriel?

Hi Pastor Adriel, really appreciate your ministry. So I have a question on Catholic beliefs in Mary, the mother of Jesus, and just sort of, I wasn't raised Catholic, so I don't know a whole lot of their traditions and other things that kind of go back with it. But I've come to learn, at least in talks with my grandmother, that they have a belief that she was sinless, similarly to Jesus, and then also that Mary and Joseph did not have any other children besides Jesus, and that she also did not die, but did an ascension almost similar to Jesus and like Elijah and Enoch. But I was just curious on how they would support that position scripturally, because it seems like scripture points to a few opposite things.

Hey Matthew, thank you for giving us a call and for that question. It's interesting, you mentioned the dogma of the assumption of the Virgin Mary in the Roman Catholic Church. That wasn't really even made official until the 20th century, and so you asked the question where do they find support for these things in scripture.

Some of the things you don't have any support for. With regard to some of the other things they say about Mary, Roman Catholics will point to various passages in scripture that they believe support the conclusions that they've drawn, maybe about her sinlessness or whatnot, but it's usually by implication. Then with regard to whether or not Mary and Joseph had other children, they'll say, well, the word that's translated brothers, Jesus's brothers, that could be translated a different way, not as brothers, but maybe as cousins or something like that. They'll say a number of things, and of course we don't want to minimize the role of the Virgin Mary in the history of redemption. She is, according to the church and Christians for the last 2,000 years, we can refer to her as the mother of God. That is, she bore God the Son, not in the sense that Jesus or the eternal word of the Father began to exist through Mary, but that the word himself took flesh from her womb, that she didn't give birth to a mere human being, but that the word himself took humanity from the womb of the Virgin Mary. In so far as that's the case, the church has historically referred to her as the God-bearer. That's a proper title, but it seems to me like in the ministry of Jesus, oftentimes when people would focus on his mother, he would redirect the focus. I think of Luke 11 in verse 27, as Jesus said these things, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, blessed is the womb that bore you and the breasts at which you nursed. Your mother was blessed, Jesus.

You must be amazing, and God bless her. Jesus says in response, blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it. Mary, Matthew, she needed the grace and redemption of Christ just as much as anyone else. In fact, she herself says at the beginning of Luke's Gospel, in Luke chapter 1, that beautiful song that she sings, sometimes referred to as the Magnificat, in verse 46, Mary said, my soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Mary, like the rest of humanity, needed a Savior, needed a Deliverer, and that was her son, the God-man, Jesus Christ, who bore the sins of his people. I think the emphasis that we get in the Gospel is that we don't want to minimize the role that the Virgin Mary played, but Christ seemed to point to the need to obey his word and to follow him. That the one who does that, that's the one who's blessed.

That's where our focus should be as well. I think Mary herself, even as she says there in the Magnificat, she points away from herself and to Jesus, her son. That's what we want to do as Christians and as the Church as well, not to downplay her, but to focus on, I think, what she would have wanted us to focus on, which is Jesus, the Redeemer of God's people. God bless you, Matthew. Hey, Matthew, thanks so much for listening to CORE Christianity and for digging into God's word.

Man, that is just so important and valuable. We appreciate that when our listeners really act as Bereans and search the Scriptures for the truth. This is CORE Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and you know what? We have this special group of people we sometimes mention on this program. They're called our inner CORE. These are people that support us on a monthly basis, and we have something really special coming up for our inner CORE members and an opportunity for you to join the inner CORE as well. Yeah, if you benefit from the answers we give on the show, we'd like to invite you to become a member of the inner CORE. As an inner CORE member, you'll receive a signed copy of the book CORE Christianity, Finding Yourself in God's Story by Professor Michael Horton, exclusive updates and bonus content from the team. When you join the inner CORE in the month of March, we'll send you an invitation to join us on a live virtual meeting with me, some of the other members of the CORE team, and other inner CORE members on Wednesday, April 13th at 8 p.m. Eastern time, 5 p.m. Pacific time. It's an opportunity for you actually to ask questions about the Bible and the Christian life, as well as ask any questions that you might have about the CORE Christianity mission and organization, and so if you're an inner CORE member already, please be on the lookout for an invitation in your email. And we'd love to have you join the inner CORE.

Again, that event is coming up on April 13th, 8 p.m. Eastern time. You can become an inner CORE member by signing up with a recurring donation of $25 or more, and your support, of course, allows us to continue sharing the gospel and answering those tough questions about the Christian faith for people all around the world. To join in that video call and to find out more about the membership and the inner CORE, just go to corechristianity.com forward slash inner CORE.

That's corechristianity.com forward slash inner CORE to sign up. Let's go to Linda in Avoca, Arkansas. Linda, what's your question for Pastor Adriel? Yes, good day.

Thank you for taking my call in. Thank you for your ministry. My question is John 20. And you kind of want to look at verse 22, but it's actually in 23, where he frees on them and tells them to receive the Holy Spirit. This is his disciple. But in the book of Acts, he instructs the disciples to go back to Jerusalem and wait for the Holy Spirit to come down upon them.

Yes, Linda. That's, I think, a good observation that you've made there. And so the question is, what's the difference?

Is there any difference between those two events? You have Jesus appearing to his disciples in John chapter 20, breathing on them and saying, receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them.

If you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld. It seems like he's endowing them here with authority, with this apostolic authority as they go forth as his representatives in the world. But then you also have, as you know, in the book of Acts, in Acts chapter 2, specifically the day of Pentecost, and of course the word of Jesus to his disciples to wait for the promise of the Father, the gift of the Holy Spirit.

And so one thing I think we can see is there's no contradiction here. There are some people who will say, what happened in John chapter 20 is a sort of endowment of authority, office, breathing on them, anointing them with the Holy Spirit, and then there's something else distinct that's taking place on the day of Pentecost. The giving of the Spirit to the whole church, the pouring out of the Holy Spirit in line with what Joel had prophesied in Joel chapter 2.

There are others who will say, well, this is just sort of a foretaste. One, Jesus revealing to his disciples that the Spirit comes from him, proceeds from him as the Father, as with the Father. And what you have here is this sort of preparation or foretaste of what was to come there shortly on the day of Pentecost. But I think we look at both of these passages and say, yes, Jesus, one, appeared to his disciples after his resurrection, breathed on them, said be filled with the Holy Spirit, received the Holy Spirit, but also said you need to wait for the promise of the Father. There's something else that's coming, and that was the day of Pentecost. And so I view those as, the way I personally take it is obviously two distinct events, but that the first in John chapter 20 is this sort of foretaste, this preparation for what was coming in Acts chapter 2. And so God bless you.

There's really no contradiction there. It's just these distinct things that are taking place in the lives of the disciples as they're following the Lord and being sent out by him in his service. So God bless, Linda. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We're taking your phone calls, your questions about the Bible, the Christian life doctrine or theology, or maybe some of your doubts that you have about the Christian faith. Give us a call right now. Here's the number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. You can also email us your question anytime. Our email address is questionsatcorechristianity.com, just questionsatcorechristianity.com.

Adriel, here's an email question from one of our listeners named Kelly. She says, My daughter is refusing to have a relationship with us because we are refusing to use the pronouns they, them when referring to her. She claims to be a lesbian and transgender. Some of our Christian friends say to go along with this because it would be showing her love and acceptance. But our pastor says absolutely not because it's not how God made her. We are choosing to honor God over our relationship with our daughter at the recommendation of our pastor, but it's heartbreaking for us. We have told her we love her and accept her choices, but not to expect us to celebrate or affirm those choices.

What should we do? Well, Kelly, my heart breaks when I think about this situation. It's so close to home for you, and I know you love your daughter and are concerned for her. And so the first thing I want to do is pray for you and just invite all those who are listening to pray with me for you and for your family. Gracious Heavenly Father, we pray for Kelly and her family. We ask You, O God, to be with her, to give her wisdom, to fill her with Your Spirit, with compassion, with love, with clarity, Lord, on how to have conversations with her daughter that don't compromise Your truth, but also are full of grace and gentleness, Lord, that her daughter would know. Obviously, her mother's love, her family's love, but especially, Lord God, Your love. And would You, dear God in heaven, work in her life, would You open her eyes and her heart and her mind to receive the truth of Your Word?

O Lord, would You do what only You can do in this situation, in ministering to this family and in being at work in Kelly and in her daughter, we pray in Jesus' name. Amen. Certainly, I think, not a simple question. The first thing I would say is, you know, the apostle Paul in Colossians chapter 2 exhorted the Colossian church and he said in verse 16, or excuse me, in verse 8, see to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. See to it, he said, that no one takes you captive by philosophy or empty deceit. And there is in our society today, you know, a lot of worldly thinking, a lot of bad philosophy, a lot of empty deceit according to human tradition.

On the question of identity, sexuality, gender, I mean, this is, I think, an area where we've really gone astray and where many people have been taken captive to a worldly way of thinking, to worldly ideologies. And we don't want to reinforce those false ways of thinking. And so I sympathize with you, you know, in terms of wanting to hold fast to the word and what the scriptures teach.

And yet at the same time, of course, wanting to keep that open door with your daughter and to continue to have conversations with her and to demonstrate your love for her. The other passage of scripture that comes to mind is what the Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy, in 2 Timothy 2, verse 24. The Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness.

God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil after being captured by him to do his will. I think with all of your interaction with your daughter, you want to be characterized by that patience, by that gentleness, still able to disagree. And this is where people have a really hard time. If you disagree with me, if you don't just embrace and affirm everything I'm doing, then you don't really love me. Well, that also is not true. That's a worldly way of thinking, the idea that love means affirming me in whatever I do.

Well, that's just false. There are decisions that people make all the time that are harmful, detrimental. It would be wrong for me to continue to just love you in that, to affirm what you're doing there. And so, of course, we don't embrace that, we don't buy into that as Christians, and yet at the same time, you're wanting to be gentle, you're wanting to continue to reach out to your daughter, to express your love. And at the end of the day, I just would say, it's what Paul says there in 2 Timothy, praying, praying that God would grant repentance, that the scales would fall off of your daughter's eyes in this area, and that she would recognize, one, who she is. And I don't know if she's been baptized, if she professes faith in Christ, but the idea of the truth of God making us in His image and calling us to reflect Him in His love and His beauty, that that would be something that begins to shape her mind and her thinking. And so pray, sister, that the Lord would intervene, that He would do the work that He can only do, and continue to love your daughter to pursue her.

I don't think you need to be intentionally offensive, or say, let me just be over the top in terms of disagreeing with you here. No, I think with gentleness, with respect, as we're called to throughout Scripture, you can disagree with her, continue to love her, even if she thinks, well, maybe she defines love differently. But no, you continue to love her, and as you do, you pray that the Lord would do what only He can do in causing His grace to break through. And we'll join you in praying for that as well, Kelly. God bless you.

Some great counsel and a difficult situation. Thanks for that, Adriel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Our phone lines are still open. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, we'll be taking calls for another five minutes or so at 833-THE-CORE. That's 833-843-2673.

You can also leave a voicemail on that number 24 hours a day. Let's go to Kevin calling in from Fayetteville, Arkansas. Kevin, what's your question for Pastor Adriel?

Hi, Pastor Sanchez. Thank you for taking my call. I was curious if you would, I was wondering if you would shed some light on the idea of cremation versus burial when we as Christians or as anyone dies here on earth. Just exactly, I've got mixed signals on what's right and what's wrong, and if you would just be able to shed some light on that for me.

Yeah, Kevin, thank you for that question. Personally, I don't believe that this is a matter of right and wrong. I think that there's liberty here for a believer, for an individual to say, I'm choosing to be buried or I'm choosing to be cremated. Now, of course, the Bible does have a high view of the body. God made all things, including our bodies in this created world, and so we also want to make sure that we're maintaining that high view. And I think there are some people who will say, well, if you're cremated, does that minimize the Bible's teaching or go against the Bible's teaching the body? I don't know that I would go that far.

I don't think that that's the case. Certainly, I think one thing I would want to tell you is that whether you're buried or cremated doesn't have any bearing on your eternal resting place in the sense that if you're cremated, you can't get into heaven, that kind of a thing. It isn't the manner of our burial that gives us hope in the afterlife, in the resurrection of the dead, the life of the world to come. It's whether or not we believe in Jesus now, whether or not we've received Him, the forgiveness of our sins, experienced His grace presently.

So that's what I try to emphasize. There are some people who are concerned with, I don't want to make God angry with this sort of final act. I say, well, right now is when we have to deal with and resolve the issue of, do I have a relationship with God?

Am I in union with Christ by faith in Him? That's the most important thing. And so with regard to cremation burial, I would say to you, Kevin, that you have liberty here and your family has liberty here to think about this and to say, we think this decision for these reasons is going to be the best for us. And I think that you can do that with a clear conscience.

God bless. Kevin, we also have a core question on this topic because we do receive a lot of calls about the cremation question. The question is called, Can a Christian be cremated? You can find that on our website by going to corechristianity.com forward slash questions. Again, that's corechristianity.com forward slash questions. Let's go to a voicemail from one of our callers.

This is from Natalie. I'm just calling because I have a question. Thank you for core Christianity and answering lots of questions. And I'm just wondering because I'm into Bible studies and I'm thinking about like what I've been learning and what you guys are teaching. And I'm just I'm not sure about the theology sometimes in my Bible study. So I was just wondering like, how could I truthfully but also gently show them good resources that teach us about core Christianity? What would you recommend for me to do, especially in a Bible study setting?

Thank you. Hey, Natalie, God bless you. First, let me just say we would love to send you some resources.

If you get a hold of us, Natalie, maybe shoot us an email and let us know who you are. We'd love to send you some free Bible study resources that you could use for your group and what a joy it would be to encourage you and partner with you in that way. And I hear you. I've had conversations even with people in my own church who have wrestled with this in years past and other churches where they're in a Bible study and they're wrestling with the content, the material, and they feel like I don't know that this is totally faithful to God's word. So I think, like you said, you want to be gentle.

Obviously, it's not helpful just to say this is dumb. You guys are all weird for wanting to study this. No, I think with gentleness, we can look at a text of scripture and how it's being presented and say, is this the right way to go about it? And usually, the good thing about these kinds of studies is there's frequently a lot of discussion and interaction, and I would say use that as an opportunity to lead to, to walk towards a better understanding of the scriptures. And this is something you see throughout the New Testament.

I think of Priscilla in the book of Acts in Acts 18 where we read in verse 24, A Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus, and he was an eloquent man, competent in the scriptures, and he had been instructed in the way of the Lord, and being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John. He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him aside and explained to him the way of God more accurately. And it sounds to me, Natalie, like that's exactly what you want to do, is you, as you're in these groups and you're hearing teaching maybe from your Bible study leader, you want to be able to explain the word of God more accurately.

And so maybe that happens in the context of the study, or maybe like Priscilla and Aquila here, you grab coffee with the Bible study leader, you take them aside and you ask questions and you present another perspective. It is so important for us, friends, as we study the Bible, that we are doing so with humility, but that we're also interpreting the scriptures accurately, correctly, that we're rightly dividing the word of truth. There is so much twisting of the scripture out there, brothers and sisters, we don't need to add to that. We don't want the scriptures to be twisted at our hands. Instead, we want to hear the word of God as it was meant to be heard and understand it according to its context. And so God bless you, Natalie, in doing that, and may the Lord bless you in these conversations that you're going to be having. When you contact us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's word together.