How Do I Rebuke My Friend Without Being a Jerk?

The following is a pre-recorded version of CORE Christianity. We'll be back live again on Monday.

How do I rebuke my friend without being a jerk? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Well, hi, this is Bill Meyer along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. We'd love to hear from you, and here is our phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Now, as always, you can post your question on one of our social media sites, and you can always email us your question at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, let's go to John in Waco, Texas. John, what's your question for Pastor Adriel? Hello, Pastor.

Thank you for taking my call. My question is in regards to the atonement. What would your pastoral advice be for someone that, for a brother or sister, that holds to Christ as victor and either diminishes or neglects substitutionary atonement?

Hey, John, thank you for that question. I want to just define some of those terms for our audience right now. So we're talking about the atonement of Jesus, and sometimes people will discuss what they refer to as different atonement theories. That is, what did the atonement accomplish? What was it primarily about?

And different people will highlight or focus on different things. Some people will say, well, it was primarily about Christ's victory over death, over Satan, over sin. It was this triumph. The cross was this triumph over those things. That would be the Christus victor position, something that you certainly see in scripture, John, as I'm sure that you know. Others might highlight or emphasize Christ sacrificed the atonement as this substitutionary act where he is suffering for our sins, taking the curse, the penalty that we deserve.

Sometimes this is referred to as penal substitutionary atonement, and that's what people will focus on. I think what it's helpful to say, or it's helpful to note, that we really see these both in scripture. I mean, the atonement of our Lord Jesus Christ is accomplishing so much.

We can't minimize any of these things. So you do have, you know, Christ's victory over evil, over Satan. I think of Colossians chapter 2, for example. In verse 13, Paul said, you were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh. God made you alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.

So that you have this sort of penal language, but you also have this substitutionary language, legal language, canceling our debt. And then he goes on to say in verse 15, he disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame by triumphing over them in him. There you have this, this sort of Christus Victor thing. So you have these, these different quote unquote, atonement theories woven together in the scriptures.

And I think the trick is not just, not just seeing one and not the others. Jesus's atoning sacrifice was a substitutionary act. We cannot deny that. It's absolutely clear in scripture. He's taking our place. He who knew no sin became sin, if you will, a sin offering so that we might be the righteousness of God. Paul told the Corinthians. There's that substitution.

It's absolutely clear. And he's bearing for us the wrath of God. It's this propitiatory sacrifice. That too is language that we see in scripture, in particular in the early chapters of the book of Romans. That is that the sacrifice of Jesus is a wrath removing sacrifice. And in Romans chapter one, Paul talks about the problem that mankind faces in verse 18 for the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. In other words, that's our problem as humanity is we're under God's judgment. We're under his wrath. But then he goes on to say in Romans chapter three, verse 21, but now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the law and the prophets bear witness to it, the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe for there is no distinction for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood to be received by faith.

So I would say, look, if somebody's emphasizing one above the other, if they're saying, oh, it's all about Christus Victor, that triumph over the evil forces in the world, but they're minimizing that the substitutionary nature, the propitiatory nature of the atonement of Christ, I would just say, you know, continuing to open up the scriptures together and pointing to these passages, which I think are absolutely clear and saying, look, you don't have to pick one or the other. That's the beautiful thing about the atonement is Jesus through the cross is doing a ton of different things. He's forgiving our sins. He's conquering Satan. He's conquering death.

He's restoring humanity. And so I would say, man, just continue to open up the scriptures with this friend, going to some of these passages and saying, look, you don't have to choose one or the other. That's minimizing in one sense, the wonder, the glory, the beauty of what Jesus accomplished on the cross. Thanks, John. Well said. And John, thanks for listening to Core Christianity and for delving into God's word.

We always appreciate that. Well, here's an email question that came in from Timothy. He says, I've heard that when helping to hold believers accountable or helping others walk through personal struggles, we should be quote, calling in as opposed to calling out. What are some biblical examples for us to model this type of approach? Also, do you have any practical advice for this in the life of the church?

Calling in instead of calling out. I assume what you mean there is, you know, we're not just, using the Bible as a hammer to call people out. And yet at the same time, we do need to speak the truth and love to each other, as the apostle Paul said in Ephesians 4, to exhort one another day by day, as the author of the Hebrews said in Hebrews chapter three, while it is called today, lest we be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. Brothers and sisters, it is so important for us in our walk with the Lord, with others, with other Christians in the life of the local church, that we're honest with one another, that we're willing to speak the truth in love, that when we see a brother or sister engaging in sinful behavior, and it's just very clearly, you know, against, you know, what the Lord teaches in his word, not just to kind of turn a blind eye to it, but to lovingly call in, as you say, to come alongside of a brother or sister and to encourage them, to exhort them, to warn even. I mean, that's part of what the body of Christ is there for, is we're supporting one another and encouraging each other in our walk with the Lord.

We need that. We need that because we can have blind spots in our own lives. There are things that we can't see, you know, the log in our own eye, which another person might be able to help us see better than we can see, and so we ought to be encouraged to do that. And how should we do that? Well, so often in the New Testament, Paul in particular says we ought to do it with grace.

You know, our speech needs to be gracious. We need to consider ourselves, lest we also are tempted. You think about what the apostle Paul says, you know, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness. You know, consider yourself lest you also be tempted. So there's a humility that we should have. We're not just, as I said, we're not just trying to call people out and expose people and to sort of one up them. No, God doesn't call us to that. We're called to lovingly admonish one another and encourage one another. And also not to be, I think, you know, how do you put it, you know, fruit inspectors, where it's like, oh, you know, I haven't seen you really bear much fruit lately. That kind of thing.

I think there's also a way to mess this up. I know it's just as we grow together in the body of Christ, lovingly encouraging each other with the Scriptures and helping one another be faithful to the Lord and walk with Jesus. And so thanks for that question, brother. God bless. Well, here it is, the day after Thanksgiving, December kicking off next week, and we actually have a wonderful Christmas devotional that starts on the first day of December.

It's absolutely free, and Adriel, tell us a little bit about it. It's called The Promised Seed, and it just traces the story of redemption. You have the promise that the seed of the woman is in a crush, the head of the serpent. Way back in the beginning of the Bible, in Genesis chapter 3, verse 15, and the devotional starts with that and traces that promise throughout the Scriptures, bringing us to Jesus.

And that's where our focus needs to be around this time of the year. Jesus' incarnation is coming for us and for our salvation. So we want to help you draw near to the Lord during this Christmas season, and hope that you'll get a hold of this resource. Again, it's called The Promised Seed, and it's yours for free at corechristianity.com. This was developed by our very own director of content, Kendra Doll. She did an excellent job on it, and again, it's free. We'd love to have you get this.

It's a download. You can find it by going to corechristianity.com forward slash Christmas, just corechristianity.com forward slash Christmas. You can also call us for that or any one of our resources at 833-THE-CORE. Well, let's go to Deborah calling in from Franklin, Tennessee. Deborah, what's your question for Adriel? Hello, Pastor Adriel.

First of all, thank you so much for having this broadcast and giving me this opportunity. Earlier in a different episode, you had a person, a lady call in. She was asking a question about honoring your mother and father, specifically her mother, who had been absent in her life and, I believe, somewhat abusive. And my question is this. You had mentioned, you know, honoring your parents, whether or not they were walking with the Lord. But in Matthew 12, beginning in verse 48, Jesus is sitting, talking and teaching. Actually, beginning in verse 46, it says, while he was still talking to the multitudes, behold, his mother and brother stood outside seeking to speak with him. Then one said to him, Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside seeking to speak with you. But he answered and said to the one who told him, Who is my mother?

And who are my brothers? He stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, Here are my mother and my brothers, for whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. So my question is, with respect to honoring your mother and father, in relationship to this scripture, would that still be applicable with a mother and or a father who does not do the will of our Father in heaven as Jesus? Deborah, thank you for that, one, the encouragement, and also just for that very thoughtful question. I always appreciate it when people call in wanting to follow up with another caller or something that was said on a previous broadcast, and so appreciate your question here.

I would say a couple of things. One, what Jesus is highlighting here is the community of faith. We believe that through faith in Jesus Christ, baptism, that we are a part of this new creation family.

It really is this amazing thing. In fact, in the book of Acts, you know what the Christians refer to as more than anything else they refer to as the brothers, this familial language, this family imagery. The church is the household of God, the oikos of God. And so, in a real sense, as Christians united to Christ, we're a part of this family. And that's what Jesus is getting at, this new creation family that he came to establish. But that fact, that reality, doesn't negate the call of God on our lives to honor our earthly parents as well, even if they don't know the Lord. And maybe in a particular situation, they're not walking with the Lord. Now, if our earthly parents are abusive, or they're calling us to do something that's contrary to God's word, well, then we honor God over the earthly authority. That's true for parents.

That's true for civil government as well. God's word, God's law, is ultimate in our lives as Christians. And yet, even when we have disagreements, even if they don't know the Lord, we're still called to love them, to honor them. And I think the challenge is for us to understand how to do that. That's where we require wisdom in each particular situation. And I know every situation is different.

Where you do have an abusive relationship, it's going to look a lot different. I think in that situation, there needs to be called to repentance. There needs to be distancing.

There needs to be not an enabling of manipulation, if that's taking place. So again, we need God's wisdom. But just because our parents may not be Christians, may not be the disciples of Jesus Christ, that doesn't mean that we're off the hook when it comes to honoring them. We're still called to honor them on the basis of the fifth commandment, and with the hope that their hearts would be opened to the Lord as they see our holy behavior, our respectful behavior. And so again, thank you for that question, and may the Lord bless you. Some really helpful advice there, Adriel. And I know a lot of our listeners have tough situations like that with parents who either have rejected Christ or have abused them, as you said. And so we'll be praying for Deborah and anyone who's in that particular situation.

Well, this is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. If you have a question, you can always call us and leave us a voicemail 24 hours a day. Maybe you can't call today because being the day after Thanksgiving, but maybe sometime this weekend or next week, you'd like to ask a question. So maybe write down your question and call us and leave a voicemail at 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Let's go to Stan in Lawrence, Kansas. Stan, what's your question for Adriel? Good afternoon, Pastor.

Hey, good afternoon, Stan. So I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. We have a lot to be thankful for in this God-given country. So my question is, Genesis 9, we have a heifer, a female goat, and a ram, and a turtledove, and a young pigeon.

The first three hoofed animals were divided in half, but it says further down, he did not cut the birds in half. Can you bring that forward on some knowledge from you? Yeah. Hey, Stan. Amen.

There really is a lot to be thankful for. And so you're talking about Genesis chapter 15, verse 9, God's covenant with Abraham. I'm going to read starting in verse 7, and then I'm going to answer your question. It says, He said to him, I am the Lord who brought you out from Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land to possess.

But he said, O Lord God, how am I to know that I shall possess it? He said to him, bring me a heifer three years old, a female goat three years old, a ram three years old, a turtledove, and a young pigeon. And he brought them all these, cut them in half, and laid each half over against the other.

But he did not cut the birds in half. And when the birds of prey came down on the carcasses, Abram drove them away. And as the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell on Abram, and behold, dreadful and great darkness fell upon him. And the Lord said to Abram, know for certain that your offspring will be sojourners in a land that is not theirs, and will be servants there, and they will be afflicted for four hundred years. But I will bring judgment on the nation that they serve, and afterward they shall come out with great possessions. As for you, you shall go to your fathers in peace, you shall be buried in a good old age, and they shall come back here in the fourth generation, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete. When the sun had gone down and it was dark, behold, a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between these pieces. On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram, saying to your offspring, I give this land from the river of Egypt to the great river, the river Euphrates.

I'm going to stop there. What you have here is a very special solemn covenant that God is entering into with this man Abram, whom he called out of Ur. And he's making Abram promises here. And in the ancient Near East, oftentimes when you had these kinds of ceremonies, these promises, we refer to this as a covenant, they would take an animal and they would slaughter it. This is what happens here with these three animals cut in half. He made this sort of alleyway in between the animal carcasses and then killed the two birds, put one on each side. And you would do this as a sign of the judgment of the curse, if you will, that would come upon you if you broke the promise.

In other words, it was as if you were saying, look, if I don't keep my word, may I be cut in half as these animals. Now what's shocking about this, Stan, is who is the one who's making the promise and basically walking through the alleyway? I mean, Abram, he's put into this deep sleep. God tranquilizes him, if you will.

He's not walking through the animal carcasses. Instead, what we read is the sun goes down, it's dark and a smoking fire pot and a flaming torch passed between the pieces. These are these symbols indicative of God's presence. God is the one who is passing through these carcasses, making this oath, this what's been referred to as self-maledictory oath. God is invoking the curses upon himself, if he fails to keep his promise to Abraham.

Well, that right there should just blow our minds. This is the God who is eternal, unchangeable, all powerful, and yet he's saying, look, if I break my promise, may I be cut in half. Now, of course, we know that that can't happen, but it's just God showing us how serious he is about his promises to his people, to Abram here. Now, why these animals? The heifer, the lamb, the goat, these birds, these are the same kinds of animals that are going to be used in the sacrificial system later described in the Book of Leviticus. This is a covenantal act, a sacrificial act. The reason I would say the birds are not split in half is just because they're smaller creatures.

You have one on each side. They were both killed, they were both slaughtered, but they weren't cut in half. You have this alleyway of animal corpses through which the Lord passes so that he can secure his promise to Abraham. He's letting Abraham know, know for certain, know for certain that I'm going to fulfill my promise to you. This is the God that we serve, brothers and sisters, a God who cannot lie, as the author to the Hebrew said, a God who enters into covenant with his people. Ultimately, the fulfillment of the promises that were made to Abraham in places like Genesis 12 and here, Genesis 15, are found in Jesus Christ. Paul says in the Book of Galatians, in Galatians chapter 3, that Jesus is the seed, the offspring of Abraham. By faith, you and I are in Jesus and the children of Abraham. That is, Abraham is our father by faith. These promises, these great, glorious, beautiful, one-way promises that God makes are promises that we're the recipients of. We are God's new creation people. Our sins, Jesus says, when he talks about the new covenant, the prophets, when they talk about the new covenant as well, our sins are forgiven, washed away, we're filled with the Holy Spirit.

That's what you have here. All of that going on in this scene, this covenant that God is entering into, it's bloody. It's pointing us forward to the God who makes these promises.

Also, you think about the way in which everything is going to play out. The God who never lied, the God who kept his promises, ended up taking upon himself the curses of the covenant, if you will, in Jesus. God so loved the world that he sent his Son into the world so that we might have eternal life. Jesus is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. The God who never broke a promise takes upon himself the curse for those who do break promises all the time, you and me, so that we might experience his grace and eternal life. That's the good news of the Gospel.

Stan, thanks for that question, getting us into this text here in Genesis 15. May the Lord bless you, brother. Adriel, thank you for that delightful image of the animal carcasses. As I'm enjoying my leftover turkey today, I'll be thinking about that. All of us, we've been handling animal carcasses now for some time, and so this just is what a great text to go to after Thanksgiving.

Okay, well let's go to one more call. This is a voicemail we received from one of our listeners named Brian. God's Spirit, but we're made in the likeness of God and we're flesh.

How can that be? Thank you. Well yes, Brian, you're right that God is Spirit, and Jesus said to the woman at the well, God is Spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. And so we are made of flesh, but we're not just flesh.

That's another important point. When we think about what we're made of as human beings, as persons, God made us body and spirit. You are your body and you are your spirit. And the cool thing is, God, when he sent Jesus into the world, he sent him to redeem our bodies even.

Humanity, this is why you have the resurrection of the dead. Sometimes people think of salvation as we're going to go to heaven when we die. Our spirits are going to be saved. Our bodies, which they're junk anyway, they're going to go down to the ground. And thank God I'm going to be released from it one day.

No more weighed down by my body. But even your body is going to be restored, healed, saved, if you will, on the last day through the resurrection of Jesus. And so we aren't just bodies. We're also spirits, body and spirit. That's what it is to be a human person. And so we are made in the image of Almighty God, we're told in the early chapters of Genesis.

And that entails a number of things. Not just the fact that we're worthy of dignity, that God has made us with a will, that we can reflect him in his glory in so many ways, but also to what God has called us to. We're called to reflect the glory, the beauty, the wonder of our Creator in the way that we live. Now, sin has tainted the image of God, but Jesus has restored it.

And we have that restored image in him. Thanks for listening to Core Christianity. To request your copy of today's special offer, visit us at corechristianity.com and click on offers in the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833-THE-CORE. When you contact us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program. And be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's word together.