How Do I Persevere When My Marriage is Unequally-Yoked?

How do I persevere when my marriage is unequally yoked? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Well, hi, this is Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. This is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us with your question at 833-the-core.

You can post your question on our Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter accounts, and you can email us your question at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, let's go to Sherry in Wichita, Kansas. Sherry, what's your question for Pastor Adriel? Hello. Hi, Sherry. Hi, how are you? I'm doing well. How are you doing? I'm good, thank you. Great.

What's your... I believe that the only way that you know that you have received the Holy Spirit is if you speak in tongues, and I don't believe that's true. I believe I have, but I've not spoken in tongues.

Yeah, thank you for that question. A very important question, because if someone is taught this, you haven't really received the Holy Spirit unless you speak in tongues, well then they would be pretty distraught if they never got the gift of tongues or if they couldn't speak in tongues. Sadly, I've even heard of situations in churches where individuals just fake it or try to say something, and they basically say, well, I guess that's the gift of tongues, which it isn't. But the Bible is very clear on this, Sherry, and one passage of scripture that you can point your friends to who believe this, who say, unless you're speaking in tongues, you're not filled with the Holy Spirit, is what the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians chapter 12 towards the end of the chapter. Now this really is the section of scripture that you want to focus on when thinking about spiritual gifts, 1 Corinthians chapters 12 through 14, and the point there is that everything that's done in the church should be done for edification, for the building up of the body of Christ. We're serving each other with the gifts that God has given to us, and not everyone has the same gift. Not everyone has the gift of tongues or the gift of healing or the gift of helps or the gift of mercy, generosity, those kinds of things, and that's how God has set his church up. God has set his church up in such a way that there is a diversity of gifts for the building up of the body. Now I haven't gotten into at all whether or not the gift of tongues is still being given today. There are many people, and I'm one of them, who believe that the sign gifts, those gifts really associated with the time of the apostles, were given at an early stage in the history of the church to help bolster the gospel, to get the gospel out, but that ordinarily God is not giving those gifts today in the church anymore.

The text I was referring to at the end of 1 Corinthians chapter 12 is this. Paul says in verse 27, Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it, and God is appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets?

Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret but earnestly desire the higher gifts?

That's still a more excellent way. Now when he asks those questions, do all have the gift of administration or the gift of healing or the gift of tongues, it's a rhetorical question, and he's assuming that the answer is no. No, they don't. And so you can't make the case that you're not filled with the Holy Spirit unless you have the gift of tongues anymore than you can make the case that you're not filled with the Holy Spirit unless you have the gift of administrating or helping. It just doesn't make sense. It's clearly not what the Bible teaches. And so the real sign of the Holy Spirit's work in our lives is faith in Jesus Christ. Paul says in 1 Corinthians, you can't even say that Jesus is Lord except by the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Holy Spirit that is being worked in our lives by His power, love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control. It's that love that Paul is going to talk about in the very next chapter, in 1 Corinthians chapter 13. And so the real signs, if you will, of the Spirit are the fruit of the Spirit, not whether or not we can do miraculous things. And the reality is we can't.

We shouldn't be consumed with trying to do all of these things. We should be consumed with God's word and growing in the grace of Christ through the Scriptures. And so take your friends to 1 Corinthians chapter 12, in particular to the end of the chapter. God bless. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, you can always email us. Here's our email address. It's questions at corechristianity.com.

We received this email from a listener named Christy. She says, I committed my life to Christ last year, but my husband has not. I take my two children to church every Sunday. He thinks everything I'm doing at the church, helping with events, getting involved in the children's ministry, etc., is just a show to make myself look good to others. How can I get him to see that I'm trying to serve and live for Christ? The church has become a family to me, which is why I volunteer to truly help, not to put on a fake face. My husband and I are now unequally yoked and are really struggling in our relationship.

Do you have any advice? I do, Christy, and God bless you. I am so grateful to hear that the Lord has brought you to himself, that you're plugged into a church, that you're wanting to disciple your children and teach them about the Lord.

I see that this is a difficult situation, a difficult family situation, so the first thing I want to do for you is pray for you. Heavenly Father, we lift Christy, her children, and her husband up to you right now. I pray that you would fill her with your spirit, that you would give her perseverance in this situation, Lord. The fruit of your spirit as she interacts with her children, with her husband. Lord, would you give her wisdom also in being able to love him and to share your love with him? Thank you, Lord, for drawing her to yourself.

Would you encourage her, Lord, as she seeks to honor you, to be faithful to you, and to love her husband well? We pray in Jesus' name. Amen. You know, Christy, when I first became a Christian, I remember a lot of the people around me, including family members that I was very close to, I think they just sort of assumed that it was just a phase of life that I was going to go through. I don't know that they took it very seriously. It was really, you're young, you're still learning about the world, you'll grow out of it. It was that sort of idea. And I remember really struggling with that because I had felt like the Lord really did this amazing work in my life.

This was also new for me. Of course, I was a young Christian. There were a lot of ways in which I was still immature.

But I remember how difficult that was, at least for a season. Now, things changed for me over time, and I think as I continued to seek the Lord, to be faithful to him, people realized, like, hey, he's actually pretty serious about this. And I think as you continue to persist in faithfully following Jesus, in being shaped more and more into the image of Christ by the power of the Holy Spirit, that your husband is going to see, hey, this is serious. And the way in which you're being shaped is actually a way that blesses your entire family, including your relationship with him. Our relationship with Jesus should help us love the people around us better, should make us better husbands, wives, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters. And we struggle with this, right? And when we do, we confess and we say, Lord, forgive me, Lord, help me.

But it should be a blessing to your entire family. And I think of what the Apostle Paul says when he refers to this as he's writing to the Corinthians. And he's talking about relationships, marriages, where one spouse is a believer and the other isn't. And he says to them in 1 Corinthians 7, verse 12, if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, she should not divorce him. And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife. That is to say, I mean, think about this, Christi, just by virtue of your union with Jesus, the fact that you have a relationship with Christ, that you're growing in the word, that's going to have an effect on your husband. Paul says the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife. That is, in one sense, he's experiencing the grace of God in and through you. And Paul goes on to say, the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband, otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. There's another wonderful promise. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so.

In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. And then he says in verse 16, for how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? And so I would say, look, continue to love Jesus, the church, to grow in your relationship with other believers, but also to love your husband, to model for him what a life transformed by the grace of God looks like. And that's not easy, right? We fail, and when we fail, we say, Lord, forgive me, help me, help me to exemplify the fruit of your spirit before my family, so that they might be drawn to you, so that they might see the good works that you're doing in me and glorify you.

I do. And so I would just encourage you to continue to be faithful, to love your husband, to love your children, and to love the church, and to see what God does as you continue in that faithfully. You know, I love your response to Christy Adriel. One thought I have is she mentions she's doing a lot of serving at the church, she's helping out with events, she's involved with the children's ministry, and then she talks about struggling in her relationship. And I do wonder, in addition to the faith issue, if there could be a time issue where she's spending so much time at church now, she loves it, she loves the church body, and she's plugged in. But maybe she's spending so much time there that her husband is feeling like she's gone all the time, and that could be affecting their relationship. Yeah, absolutely, Bill. I think that there's wisdom there, and just another thing that we can bring up for Christy, right, because there can be a resentment that grows if all of a sudden it's like, well, now you've found Jesus so you don't have any time for your husband.

That's not what it should look like. It should look like as we are following the Lord and going to church, you know, being a part of the fellowship, that we're also growing more deeply in our love for Christ. For our husband, for you, Christy, for your husband. And so I think that's another thing to keep in mind, and maybe just having an honest conversation with your husband and asking him how he feels and talking to him about the importance of faith and of your relationship with Jesus and how that is something that you are going to continue to grow in and God calls you to continue to grow in, but also wanting to make sure that you're loving him well and that he feels cared for.

And so I would just say have those conversations with him and make sure that your time in the church, that you're not volunteering so much that you're now neglecting or don't have time for your husband. So God bless. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We are very excited to share. We have a special offer for our listeners. And actually, this would be a great book for Christy, who just emailed in. We'd love to send her a copy of this. It's by author and theologian Nancy Guthrie, who will be joining us tomorrow on our program. It is a great book that's all about children and prayer. Yeah, let me just say she is going to be with us tomorrow, which I'm so excited about. So make sure you tune in for that program because it's always just such a blessing to have Nancy here with us at Core Christianity.

And she has this wonderful book. It's a children's book, What Every Child Should Know About Prayer. It's a sort of mini biblical theology of prayer, what prayer is, how to pray, things that we can pray for. I think many of us adults struggle with prayer. And so you might find this just for yourself, having a children's book on prayer edifying for you.

But certainly, if you have children or if you have grandchildren, get a hold of this resource, What Every Child Should Know About Prayer. You can learn more and get that resource at our website corechristianity.com forward slash offers. Again, that's corechristianity.com forward slash offers and join us tomorrow for that great broadcast with our friend Nancy Guthrie. Well, let's go back to the phones. Christina from Omaha, Nebraska has a question.

Hi, Christina. Hi, I had a question concerning women pastors. I know that sometimes there's questions concerning women as teachers.

And I know that it's okay for women to be teachers of children and teachers of women. But concerning women as pastors, it seems that especially in America, and I see it as referring to, let's say, American Christianity, women seem to not want to step down from being a pastor at the pulpits and as deaconesses or deacons of churches. And I know that sometimes an example of Apollos in the Bible is used with Priscilla and Aquilas.

And I'm not sure that Priscilla would have spoken to Apollos without her husband, Aquilas being with her. So I was wondering, Adriel, how you see women being pastors? Do you see that as biblical? Because there's many people within my family that think it's appropriate for women to be pastors. And I think that when the Apostle Paul spoke of women being quiet in the church, I don't think that he was saying for women to just shut their mouths. But I do think that he was laying the groundwork for saying that women from the beginning should not be pastors. So, Christina, it does sound to me, speaking specifically about the question of women pastors, we've received this question on the broadcast before. So my position is that in terms of the ordained office of pastor or elder, described in places like 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1, that that is an office that should be filled by men, by called, competent, qualified men in the church. So that's my view in terms of preaching and teaching in the context of the worshiping assembly. It does also seem to me very clear from the New Testament that women were involved in this sort of broader ministry or fellowship within the body of Christ. Christ, I mean the Apostle Paul, when he writes to the Philippians, talks about, and he uses actually the example of Priscilla there again, as these women as co-laborers in the gospel. So we should all view ourselves within the body of Christ, men or women, as co-laborers in the gospel, serving the Lord in whatever capacity the Lord has blessed us and gifted us. And for some, there are individuals who are gifted in teaching, there are individuals who are gifted in administrating and helps in a number of different things, and there are right ways to use those gifts in the context of the Christian life.

And so I think that we should encourage people with whatever gift the Lord has given to them to use those gifts in a manner that is honoring to the Lord, pleasing to the Lord. And so this is one of the things that we see both in, you mentioned the example of Priscilla and Aquila in Acts chapter 18. I mentioned they're referred to as co-workers or co-laborers with Paul in Romans chapter 16 verse 3. They had a church, actually it was pretty neat, they had a church that met in their home. 1 Corinthians chapter 16 says this, it's also interesting, in the New Testament, in particular in the book of Acts, you had women who served as prophets.

Now I don't believe that there are prophets around today, but you had these women who were essentially by the Spirit of the Lord speaking forth God's truth. It is sort of an interesting, Paul talks about that also in 1 Corinthians chapter 14 or in that section on spiritual gifts. My big thing is we really want to make sure that we have a proper understanding of the gifts that God gives to us and that we realize that everyone in the body of Christ is integral for the growth of the body. That's Paul's point in Ephesians 4, that's Paul's point in 1 Corinthians chapter 12.

That's key. The body is only healthy insofar as each of us, with whatever gift the Lord has given to us, is using that gift for the good of the whole. I don't want to communicate anything that would minimize the role, the necessity of every single person, every single individual man or woman in the body of Christ. But that doesn't mean that we also don't have these distinct callings, and in particular, as again you mentioned with regard to the office of pastor, I think that that's something in the New Testament that is for men. I appreciate that question, and thank you, Christina, for giving us a call. One of those controversial ones in the life of the church today, and of course different denominations have different views on that, but thanks for explaining that.

Very helpful. And maybe I could just add, you're right, Bill, that different denominations have different views on this. The one thing I would add is this is not one of those things that I would say is, like somebody who took a different view on this, I wouldn't say, well, that person is not a believer. We often talk about the things that strike at the vitals of the faith. The big issues that are really, I think, destroying the church today are bad Trinitarian theology, a bad understanding of who Jesus Christ is, of his incarnation.

Those are the kinds of things that we would say, yeah, you can't deny the Trinity, for example, and still be a Christian, orthodox Trinitarian language, those kinds of things. And so it's helpful to talk about these things, and they're important things because the Bible speaks of them, but it is also helpful to think about, okay, what is the sort of core in terms of Christian doctrine and belief, the kinds of things that put us even outside the bounds of the Christian faith in terms of what we confess. And that's what we're all about on this broadcast is core Christianity, so love talking about that.

This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. And if you have a question, you can always call our voicemail 24 hours a day and leave us a message. Here's the number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 833-THE-CORE. And here's a question we received from one of our listeners named Alexis. Hello, Pastor Sanchez. I was just wondering about some things. First and foremost, my husband is my best friend, but I do have some other friends that are male, and I was just wondering if that was appropriate. You know, sometimes I do wonder if it's truly platonic.

I know on my end it is, but sometimes I just wonder about that and what the Bible has to say about that. I appreciate y'all's time. Thank you. Hey, Alexis. Thank you for that question.

Super practical question. I mean, broadly speaking, I would say, yes, it's fine to have friends that are male. I guess I would just want to, I mean, it sounds like you might be uncomfortable about something. I don't know with some of these friends if they've done things or said things that have made you uncomfortable, and I think you have to use wisdom there and go with your gut.

You know, if you think that this is something that for this individual is problematic, well then, yeah, I would say don't pursue that. And then also just with regard to, I'd be curious about what you mean by these friendships. I know for myself, for example, if I told my wife, hey, I'm just going to be going and grabbing dinner with my best friend, Cynthia, that kind of a thing, and she would just be like, yeah, no, you're not.

We're not doing that. And so I think part of it is just what precisely do you mean when you say I have these other friendships. I think there's a way in which first you can exercise wisdom, but also just wanting to make sure that you recognize that there's nothing wrong or sinful about having friendships with the opposite sex. I think you just need to be prudent. And you also don't want to communicate the wrong things.

Bill, I don't know if you have anything else to add there. I think that's great advice. I think we have to be very careful when we have friends of the opposite sex how much time we spend with them, what we do with them at a particular time. So yeah, I think that's well said, Adriel. Well, we have time for one quick last question. This is an email from Jackie. She says, Am I my pastor's disciple or am I Jesus' disciple?

Yeah. Am I my pastor's disciple or am I Jesus' disciple? I would say, what does Paul say? Imitate me as I imitate Christ.

Ultimately, we think of the Great Commission. Jesus said go into all the world and make disciples. Who are we making disciples of?

Not of ourselves. I'm not making disciples of myself. The church isn't making disciples of a particular individual or celebrity. We're called to make disciples of Jesus. So you are a disciple of Jesus and you're called to follow Jesus. Insofar as your pastor imitates Jesus and follows Jesus, I would say to you, well, follow him in that sense. Ultimately, you'll be following Jesus. We're being shaped by the Word and by the Spirit more and more into the image of Christ. And that's what we're all called to. God bless. Please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's Word together.