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My Spouse Committed Adultery. What Should I Do?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
The Truth Network Radio
October 18, 2021 6:30 am

My Spouse Committed Adultery. What Should I Do?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

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October 18, 2021 6:30 am

Episode 817 | Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier answer caller questions.

Show Notes

Questions in this Episode

1. Our middle-schooler was going to our church’s youth group until I found out that the entire group time is only spent playing games and entertaining. I expressed my concern to the youth pastor that I wished they would talk about spiritual things as well and he encouraged me to have our child go to a different church’s group instead: my questions is, should we as a family split our time between various church events or should we be all-in and invested in one church?

2. Where can I go in Scripture to find out about adultery? My wife is repenting for committing adultery 35 years ago near the beginning of our marriage.

3. In Matthew 28, Jesus commissions the apostles to baptize in the triune name; in the book of Acts, we see the apostles baptizing only in Jesus’s name. Why is that?

4. Is tithing required today?

5. Is infant baptism legitimate, or should baptism only be administered to those who make a credible profession of faith?

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Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

My spouse committed adultery. What should I do best is one of the questions will be answering on today's addition of core Christianity will hi this is Bill Meyer along with Pastor Israel Sanchez and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day.

Would love to hear from you. Here's our phone number it's 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673, as always, you can post your question on one of our social media sites you can watch a drill live right now in the studio on YouTube and messages that way through our YouTube channel and you can always email us your question at questions at core, here's a question we received from one of our listeners last week, my wife and I have 1/7 grade daughter who has been attending a middle school small group for about a year now recently found out that the small group doesn't include any spiritual elements such as sharing her request.

Praying for one another or Bible study. We have an honest conversation with our children's pastor at the church we attend.

He's informed us that middle school groups are just meant for being fun for the kids and helping them get to know each other. He also indicated he was unwilling to make changes to the middle schools group structure wife and I wanted want to make the most of every opportunity with her daughter. So we have found another local church that has a midweek service with music and teaching. I've spoken with our chose pastor and told him about our intentions to take her to another church and he was okay with that approach and even somewhat excited for us to make this change with her daughter and he also said that he knows others in our church to do the same. Here's the question I'm struggling with is it wrong to balance life and to local churches or should we be all and that one church of the other. While a lot there and I just want to say thank you for that question. I I know that this is the question that a lot of people have just getting right to the heart of it.

I always encourage people to be fully invested in one church that does a midweek. We don't have relationships, friendship seen outside of the particular local church that were in, but I think if you really can grow together with with the body. If you really can it be able to encourage the people there and be encouraged by the people that you need to be invested now with the broader question about you know these the sort of midweek groups for for your children. The first thing I would just want to say is we are as parents. The primary number one influence on our kids when it comes to their spiritual growth and maturity I think. I'm not. I'm not saying that that you were saying this, but I know for a lot of people they they just say I really want my kids to be into the things of the Lord.

And so I gotta find a youth group that there really get to connect with and that there really to be engaged in that.

That's, that's, that's fine, but we we have to be really careful that we don't that we don't assume that that's that's good to be what what really does the trick for them. Bit of what we just need to send them to a particular youth group or a particular camp there really get at you know blight on fire for Jesus. That kind of thing that we as parents. I have the primary responsibility of setting example for our children of talking to them about the things of the Lord of catechizing them. Now you know you you know that there are those that catechisms the church is used for for for many many years were we. We describe that the core elements of the Christian faith.

That's key for us as parents of one of my fears is that where often you know not not taking responsibility for for our children for their spiritual growth, ultimately write it it's it's a work of the Lord. But God has placed us in their lives, has given us these children to care for them. To love them to disciple them in the things of the Lord and so I would encourage you 122 know that and and to to do that you're taking your your children to church on having conversations about Jesus praying together is so so important, but really to be committed to one church. Specifically, I think that that's I think that's the best approach and and and really exposing also your children.

I just took to one group of people within the church, but building relationships with everybody you know that maybe that the shot and who needs a visitor going there with your kids and encouraging individuals in the church growing relationships across ethnicities across the age ranges within the local church. I think that's good. I think that's healthy. I think that's important were a family were part of the body of Christ in the body of Christ as a family and so I would say that would be mine. My encouragement to you and there's no hard and fast rule right so if if you're really committed to to one church but you you feel like hey there's a a great little midweek group over here that might my daughter can go to and she's encouraged by an Internet that works yeah I think that's I think that's fine but I think by and large you want to make sure that your you're really invested in in one place and the people there in the ministry there and I think that's that's the best for our growth in the Lord.

Thank you for your question number device. Thanks a drill.

This is core Christianity with pastor Gabriel Sanchez and we would love to hear from you if you got a question about the Bible or the Christian life Christian doctrine theology, even how your daily Christian walk intersects with today's culture we would love to hear from you.

Here's the phone number it's 833. The core our phone lines will be open for the next at 1520 minutes or so. So jump on the phone now 833. The core 1-833-843-2673. Here's a voicemail received from one of our callers last week and go Scripture to find out about adult adultery 35 years ago. Recently married 35 years later. Thank you.

Hey Scott, well, there are number of places in the Old Testament in the New Testament that that talk about adultery both you know that the breach of the marriage covenant. Also, adultery is is pictured throughout the Old Testament, as is a kind of you know idolatry with the people God commit idolatry. I got support what you're doing is essentially spiritual adultery look at books like the book of Hosea and you have this whole parable there about that essentially is so so adultery is a grievous sin, a breach of the marriage covenant that sometimes results in divorce, but does not necessarily require divorce, Jesus talks about this and in Matthew chapter 19 in verses three and following that that you know sometimes that the situation where there is adultery and in a marriage there. There is a case where you can an individual can legitimately get a divorce, but I often say that as a pastor that that doesn't have to be the case, and I know a lot of marriages that have have worked through situations of adultery that are that are healthy now that are in a good place by the grace of God. After a lot of hard work, counseling, searching the Scriptures forgiveness of it. It's not.

It's not easy, but there there is that hope brother and in fact that you, not to mention the book of Hosea, you just think about how how God was with his people. At the very end of the book of Hosea. After this long discussion about essentially how they had committed spiritual adultery against the Lord God still says return, O Israel to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity, but take with you words and return to the Lord say to him.

Take away all iniquity, except what is good and we will pay with bulls the vows of our lips.

Assyria shall not save us. We will not ride on horses and we will say no more, our God, to the work of our hands.

That is, that were not in a commit idolatry anymore when were no longer to commit spiritual adultery and God says I will heal their apostasy and I will love them freely from my anger has turned from them brother, let let me just say you know for for so many people, but it sounds like your your wife was essentially living in the dark.

You know concealing this sin for for decades and for so many people they think. Oh no, like I can't be honest about my sin because it will destroy everything it will destroy my family, it will destroy my ministry even. There's this there's this great fear. And so we live in the shadows in the darkness and the reality is often times there is Simpson just grows but were were crushed by this overwhelming sense of duplicity right at the just being hypocritical not being honest, and it's only when we come into the light that we can really experience. I think that that grace and that kindness that goodness of God living in the shadows, but it is just so painful and I imagine there there have been repercussions a lot of a lot of hurt that's been had over the years with with this with your wife now for you brother. You know, hearing, hearing this in an wrestling I'm sure struggling to know how to respond.

Let me just say there is grace for you. There is healing for you and there is grace for your wife as well and I'm grateful to hear that she's opened up. She's coming to the light and I just want to pray for you guys right now that the Lord would really do a supernatural work in your lives in your marriage and bring bring the healing to this this issue.

This wound that has been festering for so many years, so let me pray for you. Father, we left Scott up to you and we ask God for your Holy Spirit to be at work in his life in his marriage. Goddess, as his wife is opened up about this this sin from many, many years ago. I pray God that you would give her a sense of your forgiveness.

If she confesses not just to her husband but but to you Lord first and foremost and experiences from you the grace, the mercy that you extend to all those who confess their sins and for for Scott. Lord I pray for healing. I pray for peace. Lord I I'm sure that there is just frustration, anger, even perhaps what would you be with him would you fill his heart with forgiveness, with love and would you bring healing to this marriage pray in Jesus name, amen. You're listening to core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez you know when it comes to the devil. Many Christians believe things about him that are not biblically accurate, and with the Halloween coming up here. The good news is we have a great free resource on that topic that will clear up some of the confusion.

Yeah, you know there there are questions that we get here at core Christianity about Satan, can the devil read my mind. Is he everywhere you know this is is he omnipresent that kind of thing there's there is a lot of confusion.

Bill, as we said before about the evil one about spiritual warfare, and that's what we have this resource in and have helped to put together three fourths can the devil read my mind by David Cassidy.

We think that this is a real helpful book. It's not it's not too long. It's a bit more of a booklet but it's going to encourage you and help you have a deeper understanding some of these things, so can the devil read my mind. 70 page booklet that gives you a thorough understanding of what the Bible says about Satan and demons and spiritual warfare.

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Just go to our website. Core, and look for can the devil read my mind again. Core, and look for that free booklet that we would love to us, and you will let's go to the phone bill could I yeah go ahead.

I was just gonna say you know piggybacking off of what we were talking about with that but I know that there are a lot of believers who are in the shadows, who are afraid to confess their sin, something that they've done to hurt another person perhaps and and just just being able to say look one of the beautiful things about the gospel of Jesus Christ is we don't have to be like the rest of the world hiding in the shadows. The blood of Jesus is sufficient to forgive all of our sins, and it can bring healing.

God can bring healing in those situations that we feel like a boy if I was honest everything we just you know we don't know what the repercussions are often times of of that honesty but what we do know is that it's there that God works so powerfully and that we should want more than anything else that that work of the Lord in our lives and we open up like that and it really is a beautiful thing.

A powerful thing and so I just wanted to reiterate that for those who are maybe struggling right now as they listen to this and they feel like they're living this duplicitous life that you know their hiding things and they just take I can't be honest, well we can because the blood of Jesus is sufficient to cleanse us of all sin and to bring healing when we open up.

I love that verse. It's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. And indeed he is a kind and gracious God who forgives us of all of our iniquities through the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ. So thank you for that reminder federal go to our phone lines we have Nathaniel on the phone from St. Louis, Missouri within you, what your question for pastor. Israel wanted to know Matthew 2819 words are juniors given the great commission white drama gold therefore and make cycles of all major lapdog on the name of the father. #Another Holy Spirit and anything of them. 22. Jim Brown jogger of all thank that I have commanded command that you now the disciples are given a great commission but yet when you look over and enter the book of acts anywhere in the Scriptures. You always stayed a pattern whether the bike was baptized every time MG verse nine not want to see them staring out the father not built Holy Spirit or anything and you know churches are divided very Christianity over depression because they failed you about jogger gave the man you're going to hear my question to you why there girl disciples not speak on the baptism of the father of the thunder, not the Holy Spirit is usually teetering on the door and you might yeah excellent question. So when Jesus instituted holy baptism in Matthew chapter 28 he says going to all the will make make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit. This is a Trinitarian in historically the church is always done this.

Nathaniel from from the very earliest times. You can read about it in even extra biblical sources like the did RK which is probably written around the same time that the Gospels were written talks about baptizing in the name of the father and of the son of the Holy Spirit and the new turn of the book of acts and often you have this language about baptizing in the name of Jesus or the baptism of Jesus, and I actually think that what was happening there in in those instances were Trinitarian baptisms, but the reason they referred to as the baptism of Jesus or baptizing in the name of Jesus is to distinguish them in particular from the baptism of John, which was which was it. I think a big issue at that time exactly what we read in acts chapter 19.

It happened that while Palos was at Corinth, Paul passed through the inland country and came to Ephesus and there he found some disciples and he said to them, did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed. And they said no we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit that any set into what then were you baptized, and they said into John's baptism. And Paul said John baptized with the baptism of repentance telling the people to believe in the one who is coming after him, that is Jesus, and on hearing this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.

And so there's this did distinguishing that's taking place here in this early time of the church these early days of the. The apostolic church where it's no longer the baptism of John. It's the baptism of Jesus which I would say is in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit is oh so you know II don't think it's it needs to be as controversial as is. It sometimes made. I would totally reject know people say if you're not baptized in the name of Jesus and end with that specific formula, then you're not going to heaven you're going to hell know that the proper formula is Trinitarian in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit.

And insofar as in baptism were united to Jesus by faith in his death and resurrection. The apostle Paul talks about this in Romans chapter 6 in Galatians chapter 3, we can refer to it as the baptism of Jesus, thank you for that question. Great clarification, and Nathaniel, thank you so much for being a regular listener core, Christianity, and for really digging into God's word. We really appreciate that. Let's go to Timothy in Eureka, Illinois Timothy what your question for pastor. Israel hello hey Timothy hi thought that tithing is part of the ceremonial law, Jewish law and that was done away with. When Jesus died on the cross and yet churches require that as being member today and I'm just wondering your thoughts, I would be opposed to a church, requiring the ties in order for an individual to be a member.

It is, it is true that the tithe was specifically a part of the Old Testament ceremonial system and what was going to the temple for the priesthood and so you so diabetic that's a reality. Now we could say more about that when you think about in the book of Genesis, Abraham paid it tithe of all that he had to Melchizedek so you have that the tithe in other places as well. But really, you know that the clearest language that we get in the New Testament related to giving is in second Corinthians chapters 8 and nine and Paul says in chapter 9 verse six.

The point is this, whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he is decided in his heart.

This is efficient freedom here, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver, and God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times.

You may abound in every good work. As it is written, he'd has distributed freely is given to the poor. His righteousness endures forever.

Now I actually you know you having said all that, I think that there's there's nothing wrong with tithing to the church an action I think one thing that's good about tithing is a lot of times if it just sort of made of giving to the church is something we do and we feel like it, but we won't have this consistent pattern of giving to the things of the Lord, so I think it's good to set something up like a tithe or or more, you know, doesn't have to be 10% could I know but I know there are people who the Lord is blessed to say boy God is just been so gracious to us and and we can't out give the Lord we we are committing as a family to giving 15% or something like that to the work of missions to the local church, but doing that with joy not under compulsion not.

Is this the sort of you have to do this for you can't be a member of the church that I would get out if that's a problem anytime work were resurrecting that the are the ceremonial law. If you will and send you you can't really be a part of the church not really a Christian and less you do these things is a serious issue and Paul talks about this in the book of Galatians right that the agitators in the book of Galatians wanted to force Christians, Gentiles would come to faith to be circumcised observing the ceremonial line of defense either adding to the gospel.

They were saying you have to do these things if you also want to be part of the family of God so concerned with making this a rule for church membership is is are you adding to essentially what what what you know the gospel already says it will. Where were part of the church by faith in Jesus Christ our union with him in in baptism in Isaiah. As I mentioned earlier, and so but again I also just want to encourage you to to give joyfully and not reluctantly not under compulsion as pulses there in second Corinthians 9. Each of us as Christians should be generous givers to the work of missions and Jesus says where your treasure is, that's where your heart will be also. And so it's it's something that we should be committed to for many believers the way they do.

That is a tithe. It doesn't have to be that it doesn't have to just be that, but it's something that we should really think through. As Christians in local churches, thanks for that explanation, Israel. This is core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez. Let's go to Jim and St. Louis, Missouri, Jim. What's your question hello I have a question regarding baptism. I was brought up in a nondenominational church where your baptized.

When you have a heart of repentance. A contrite spirit in our at age of awareness and live my life is brought up differently where infants are baptized and is no tension between us regarding that.

But it is, question I've always had an in the Scriptures doesn't seem that infant baptism is apostolic Jesus plus the children and the example that I sure individuals who support that bring up the house of Cornelius and home. They were all baptized but doesn't specify the residents in our child adjacent to how to cut about an adult take such a good question.

And as you say there is a lot of difference in the church about this historically for the majority of church history. You infants were baptized and not not as Nino this Q tradition, but there was this conviction that the children of believers were also part of the worshiping community that God's promises his gospel promises extended to them as well. On the basis of love. God's covenant. Essentially, I don't have the time to get into all of it right now, but I did. I just wanted to Jim point you to one resource over core, that I did right and it's called, should infants be baptized now. Might my views on this have changed, you know.

Initially I I also when I first started walking with the Lord was going to a nondenominational church and I just assumed well that the people who baptized babies as of the Roman Catholics and and most Protestants we we don't do that. We we baptize only those as you say, who have made a profession of faith who have repented over time.

As I continue to study the Scriptures and that's some of what I talk about in this article should infants be baptizing core, I came under the conviction that yeah there there is a biblical biblical case to be made for the baptizing of infants on the basis of God's promise on the basis of God's word.

Now that doesn't mean that every baby that's baptizes regenerated at that moment that they're all you know that you know saved into that that that that act in and of itself saves them it's it's only the work of the Holy Spirit who works faith into our hearts that saves us.

Faith is the only instrument of our salvation in Jesus Christ and so I think that's really important, but pointing that resource and feel free to give us a call back at another time. If you'd like to go a little bit deeper. Thank you Jim and God bless you. Thanks for listening to core Christianity request your copy of today's special offer. Visit us at core, and click on offers in the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833 when you contact us. Please let us know how you been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time. As we explore the truth of God's word together

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