How Can I Witness To Someone Hurt By Christianity?

How can I share the Gospel with someone who grew up in a Christian home but turned away from the faith due to a parent using Christianity as a weapon against them? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Hi, this is Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question at 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673.

And you can email us with your question at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, we have a good news story to share with you. A South Carolina man has honored his late father by learning to cook and opening his own restaurant. Tay Nelson grew up washing dishes in restaurants where his father served as a cook. He said he always saw the joy that his dad's food brought to so many people. After his father and his brother passed away, Tay wanted to honor their memory by engaging in that shared passion for food.

The problem was Tay didn't know how to cook. So he turned to YouTube, and he started watching endless how-to videos to gain kitchen skills. Through using those skills, he started a catering business, and he finally made his dream of opening a restaurant come true, and he now employs 60 people. Wow, yeah, sounds like his restaurant business has really picked up. I actually go to YouTube for cooking advice all the time. I'm in the middle of trying to learn how to smoke brisket, and so I've watched probably four or five YouTube videos, and it still hasn't come out that great. The family is happy with it, but I just kind of think, I don't know about this.

Keep working on it, buddy. Yeah, more YouTube videos, I guess. By the way, if you want to learn more about Tay's story, we're going to host a link in today's show notes at corechristianity.com slash radio. Well, let's get to our first question of the day, and Maddie posted this on our Instagram account. She says, what does Jesus mean in John 3 5 when he says that unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God, or Peter when he says baptism now saves us in 1 Peter 3 21. It sounds like Jesus is saying water baptism is necessary for receiving the promise of salvation. I guess what I'm wondering is if we're baptized and sealed by the Holy Spirit the moment we believe in Christ, then why is water baptism necessary?

That's a great question. And sadly, I think a lot of people today in many churches don't view baptism as necessary. I mean, there are so many evangelical churches where baptism is kind of something that we do around Easter time. And it's kind of this big production. I even heard of a church that they would call people up to be baptized, but they would plant people in the church to get up to be baptized, just to kind of encourage other people.

And I just thought, man, that is so crazy. We've turned this means of grace, this sacrament that Jesus gave to the church into a big show. And so I think a lot of people today, Maddie, don't view it as important or necessary. But then you read passages like the ones that you've mentioned in 1 Peter 3, and also in John chapter 3, and you walk away from those texts thinking seems like baptism really is significant. So in John 3, for example, this is Jesus's discussion with Nicodemus, and Nicodemus says actually in verse 4, How can a man be born when he is old?

Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born? And Jesus answered him, Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of spirit is spirit.

Now, there have been a few ways in which this has been interpreted. One interpretation that I remember hearing back when I was in college was that the water here is referring to the amniotic fluid. Unless you're born of water, in other words, you're physically born.

You come out of your mother's birth canal. Well, I think that that interpretation can be ruled out. Another very prominent interpretation, and I think this one is probably a lot better, is understanding this in the light of the promise that's made in Ezekiel chapter 36, especially verses 25 through 27. This is a promise that God made. Verse 25 of Ezekiel 36, I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses and from all your idols. I will cleanse you, and I will give you a new heart and a new spirit I will put within you, and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh, and I will put my spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes and to be careful to obey my rules.

This is the promise of the new covenant and the promise of the new birth, regeneration. That's the sort of technical word that we use, and that's what's pictured, conveyed so clearly in baptism, the washing away of our sins, God giving us this new heart, cleansing our hearts by faith. You also brought up another text, 1 Peter 3 verse 21, where Peter draws these lines of analogy between the flood in the Old Testament, that judgment that came upon the whole world, and baptism. He says baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you. But then he adds this, Not as a removal of dirt from the body, but as an appeal to God for a good conscience through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

In other words, it's not just the water in and of itself does this magical thing to you that saves you. No, baptism is this sign and seal of our salvation. It's a means of grace. It's one of the ways, Maddie, that God communicates his goodness and promises to his people. So it's not just an empty sign, a worthless sign. But God is speaking to us, to you, in baptism, showering us with his blessings, and primarily showering us with the promise of the gospel, the washing away of all of our sins. So that's why we do it.

And you're totally right. The moment someone believes, that's a work of the Holy Spirit. They're born again by the grace of God. In John chapter 3, a little bit later, as Jesus is speaking, he says, the wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it.

You don't know where it's going or where it's coming from. That's how it is with those who were born of the Spirit. It's a work of the Holy Spirit. And so when you believe, you believe because you've been born again, and then you get baptized. But that doesn't mean that baptism is worthless, because baptism is this sign, this seal of God's promise, and God commands it.

That in and of itself is enough for us to want to say, no, we need to do this. And I want to encourage you, Maddie, if you haven't been baptized, to be baptized, because Jesus calls you to be baptized. And because in baptism he's speaking to you, he's revealing his goodness, his goodwill, his promises, the promises of the gospel that you can cling to. As surely as we're washed with water and baptism by faith, all of our sins are washed away.

This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. And Adriel, this question came in from Ryan, who emailed us, and he says, how do I respond to sexual dreams that seem to happen somewhat regularly? I feel as though I have no control over them as I sleep. And when I wake up, I just feel guilty.

Yeah. You know, Ryan, in the book of Psalms, there are so many instances where the psalmist talks about how the Lord is the one who keeps us even while we sleep. Psalm chapter 3, verse 5, I lay down and slept. I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.

Or the very next chapter, Psalm chapter 4, verse 8. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm chapter 12, he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. I'll just give you one more, Psalm 139, verses 11 and 12. If I say, surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night, even the darkness is not dark to you. The night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

You know, one of the things that all of those psalms teach us is that God is the one who keeps us, not just during the day, but also at night. I can understand your frustration. It's like, well, I'm not in control of the things that I dream about, you know, and you wake up feeling guilty.

Well, I don't think that you need to feel guilty. One thing I would want to ask you is, you know, what are you filling your mind with, especially before bed? So many people are just entrenched in social media and those kinds of things, sort of filling our minds with a lot of stuff that isn't that helpful.

Here's what you want to do. Fill your mind with God's Word, with prayer. Are you praying every night before you go to bed, spending time in the presence of Jesus, asking him to do the very thing that these psalms are saying that God does? God, keep me even as I sleep. One of the things that we see or are constantly reminded of is our own frailty.

And again, I get that from your question, just feeling like, man, there's nothing I can do. Even in my sleep, I can't escape these feelings or these lusts. Well, we take all of that to the Lord in prayer. We fill our minds with that which is good and true and beautiful, and we rest in him knowing that he's the one that keeps us.

And if you have those dreams, you know, those kinds of dreams, I don't think you need to feel guilty or ashamed. I think you take that to the Lord in prayer and know that promise, as I already read in Psalm chapter four, in peace, you can lie down and sleep for the Lord is the one who makes you to dwell in safety. I hope that's helpful. Ryan, thanks so much for your email. We appreciate you listening to Core Christianity. You know, if you or someone you love has been struggling during this whole COVID-19 pandemic, we have a really important resource to offer you today.

Adriel, can you tell us a bit about that? Yeah, Bill, it's a book I've had the privilege of going through recently, really an encouraging, just Christ-centered book called Christ and Calamity by Harold Sankville. It's easy to think that God has forgotten us when things get tough or that he doesn't care about us anymore as we continue to cry out to him in the midst of our suffering. Well, this book is going to remind you over and over again that God is faithful and can be trusted no matter what calamity you're facing.

I mean, it really is. It's one of those books that you read and you just want to hand out to other people as well. So take advantage of this offer. Head to corechristianity.com forward slash offers or give us a call at 833-THE-CORE. You know, if you or somebody you love has been struggling during this COVID-19 situation, this is a little book that offers big comfort and you can reserve your copy today for a donation of any amount. Head over to corechristianity.com forward slash offers. You can also call us at 833-843-2673 for help getting any one of our offers.

That's 833-THE-CORE. Here's a question that came in from Bethany through our website. By the way, you can submit a question through corechristianity.com slash radio and you can even record a question there by clicking the little microphone icon on the page. Bethany says, how do you share the gospel with someone who grew up in a Christian home but turned away from the faith due to their parent using Christianity as a weapon against them?

What a difficult thing. You know, so many people today, and you hear it over and over again, they say things like, I used to be a part of the church, but I experienced this abuse, this hurt, this pain at the hands of other Christians, even at the hands of my own parents. And Bethany, it sounds like that's what's happening here. And the sad thing is one of the big problems that is a lot of people think they get Jesus in the gospel because they were exposed to some sort of version of Christianity, some sort of version of Jesus.

And then they walk away later because it was a situation like the one that you're describing, Bethany. And in one sense, what ends up happening is they're inoculated to the truth, you know, they get a taste, but it's not the real deal. And it gives them this strong sort of aversion, this sense of I know that I don't need that I already understand what this Jesus and Christianity thing is all about. And so they reject it, really having never understood the goodness of God, the grace of Jesus Christ. You know, this is actually one of the things that we see in the New Testament when Jesus went to his hometown in Nazareth, you know, Mark talks about this in Mark chapter six.

A lot of the people that were there, the people that grew up around Jesus, if you will, they rejected Jesus because they thought they knew him. They said, you know, where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him?

How are such mighty works done by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us? And they took offense at him.

Jesus said to them, a prophet is not without honor except in his hometown, and among his relatives and in his own household. And he could do no mighty work there except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief. You see what happens when we think we really understand it already because we've been exposed to some form of Christianity, and then we just reject when we think we get it, but we really don't.

It breeds this unbelief. Now for your friend, the first thing you need to do is be sensitive to the hurt that he's experienced. Spend time listening to him, to his story, what has happened. That is going to give you a sense of what he thinks Christianity is or who he thinks Jesus is. And maybe he realizes, you know, what I experienced was not right, was not okay. Well, you're going to want to listen.

You're going to want to understand where he's coming from so that you can speak into his situation particularly. Christianity being used as a weapon, you know, you really want to peel away at that and highlight the fact that the real Christian faith is never to be weaponized. I mean, Christ was crucified on the cross. Christianity isn't coercive. We're not coercing people to love God and to obey God's rules. What woos us, what draws us to the Christian faith is the love and kindness of God. It's that kindness of God that leads us to repentance, and that's what you want to emphasize, and the love that God has, and the fact that Jesus can identify with those who have been in abusive spiritual situations.

Talk about being abused at the hands of religious people, religious leaders. If anyone knows what that's like, Bethany, it's Jesus. And so one of the things I think you want to do is highlight that for this friend of yours, that Jesus can sympathize with them.

That he's been tempted in all ways as we have been, and yet he's without sin. He's experienced the kind of pain that your friend is talking about. Introduce your friend to Jesus, to his love. Be patient. Listen. And above all else, Bethany, pray. Pray that God would bring healing.

Pray that God would bring restoration. Pray that your friend might come to understand the truth of who Jesus is after having experienced for so long a distortion, it sounds like, of the Christian faith. And maybe, Bill, right now we can just take a moment to pray for Bethany and for her friend. Father, we do want to pray for Bethany. We ask that you would give her wisdom as she seeks to love and encourage and ultimately share Jesus, your son, with this friend of hers. We pray for that wisdom, Lord. We pray for the grace of your Holy Spirit, guiding her, guiding her conversations. And we pray for this friend. Lord Jesus, would you bring healing? Would you bring comfort?

Would you help this person to see where they've been lied to about you, about the truth of the Christian faith? And to embrace, Lord, your goodness, your love, your mercy, to truly, through your word and through a right understanding of your word, come to know who you are and bless Bethany as she seeks to encourage your friend to that end. We pray these things, gracious Father, in Jesus' name, amen. Amen.

Bethany, thanks so much for your note and for your concern for your friend. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. And Adriel, we had this question come in through our website. Hi, guys.

My name's Jade. I'm listening from Adelaide, Australia. And my question is, we often talk about heaven as a place where there is no sadness and no shame and no pain. And we often talk about our sin now as something that we can kind of take to Jesus. We take our shame and our guilt to Jesus, and He bears our burden.

So I'm wondering, on the day of judgment, when we are held accountable for our actions on earth, will we feel shame and guilt? Thanks, guys. Well, one, thanks for reaching out to us all the way from Australia. That's awesome. I'm so happy that you have found Core Christianity, that you listen. And thank you for this question. You know, I think a lot of people imagine that on the day of judgment, they're going to be standing before God, and all humanity is going to be watching. And God is going to have this, like, jumbotron big screen up where, you know, all of our faults are being displayed, and we're going to have to give an account, and everybody's going to be like, oh, man, that was bad.

That kind of thing. I don't think that's what it's going to look like. Jesus said in John chapter five, verse 24, truly, truly, I say to you, whoever hears my word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgment, but has passed from death to life. In other words, if we belong to Jesus, we've already passed from death to life.

We don't have to be ashamed. Now, it's interesting because in another place, John in first John chapter two, verse 28 says this related to the judgment and the coming of the Lord. First John chapter two, verse 28. Now little children abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink from Him in shame at His coming.

If you know that He is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of Him. Now, I think what John is referring to there is the fact that there are people who were abandoning Christ, not abiding in Him, turning away from Him, who were going to be ashamed at the coming of the Lord. In fact, John talks about people there in first John who had been a part of the church, but they left.

And John says they're going to be ashamed. Remain in Jesus. Abide in Him. What does it mean to abide in Him? It means to receive the goodness of His word, His gospel, to feed on His flesh and blood, Jesus said in John chapter six, to receive His word.

For those of us who are in Christ, who belong to Jesus, we don't have to be ashamed, and we're not going to be ashamed. We're going to experience, as you say, Jade, that comfort that the Lord is going to give to His people. And I love the description that's given in the book of Revelation at the very end of the book of Revelation. Revelation chapter 21, the new heavens and the new earth. Revelation 21 verse three, and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them and they will be His people and God Himself will be with them as their God. And He will wipe away every tear from their eyes and death shall be no more. Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. That's what we have to look forward to, Jade, being in the presence of the Lord, experiencing His goodness, His mercy, His love, not shame, but salvation. Jade, thanks so much for contacting us and for listening there in Adelaide, Australia. We appreciate you so much.

And we know there's been a resurgence of coronavirus in your country. We'll be praying for that situation there. This is Core Christianity with Bill Meyer and Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We have time for one last question.

This came in from Louis, who posted on our Instagram account. He says, what does Jesus mean in Matthew 11 12 that the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence and the violent take it by force? How can violence come into God's kingdom? Why would God allow it to be taken by force?

Yeah, that's a really good question. And of course, the context here, we have Jesus talking about John the Baptist. I'm going to begin reading in verse seven.

As they went away, Jesus began to speak to the crowds concerning John. What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? What then did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft clothing? Behold, those who wear soft clothing are in king's houses.

What then did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I tell you, and more than a prophet. This is he of whom it is written.

Behold, I send my messenger before your face, who will prepare your way before you. Truly, I say to you, among those born of women, there has risen no one greater than John the Baptist. Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has suffered violence and the violent take it by force. For all the prophets and the law prophesied until John, and if you are willing to accept it, he is Elijah who is to come. He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

Now, the verb can be translated as what's called a conative verb. It could be translated like this, the violent are trying to take the kingdom by force. Now that sort of makes sense when you think about the context of what's happening there in Matthew chapter 11. He's talking about the persecution that the prophets and even John the Baptist had experienced. And John obviously is going to be martyred. Just the fact that the kingdom of God is under assault.

The people are trying to take it by force, but they will not be able. And the fact of the matter is the kingdom is not something that we take or even something that we build. The beautiful thing, Lewis, about the kingdom of God is it's a gift that we receive. Jesus is the one who builds the kingdom. In Luke chapter 12, verse 32, he said, Fear not, little flock, for it is your father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. See, it's not something that the violent take violently, striving. No, it's a gift that God gives to his little flock, his children, to you and to me, because the kingdom of God is something that God gives to us through the preaching of the gospel and by faith in Jesus Christ. If you liked us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this podcast. And be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's Word together.