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Should a Christian Woman Submit to an Unbelieving Spouse?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
The Truth Network Radio
June 11, 2020 1:00 am

Should a Christian Woman Submit to an Unbelieving Spouse?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

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June 11, 2020 1:00 am

Episode 464 | Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier answer caller questions.

Show Notes

Key questions answered in today's show:

1. Peter and Judas both betrayed Jesus, but Peter was forgiven and went to heaven. Judas became remorseful in the end and killed himself. Were they just following directions in their betrayal? Or did Jesus, being all-knowing, know how they would react? I know the Bible doesn’t report that Judas repented, but if he had before he killed himself, would he have been forgiven? Would he have still killed himself? 

2. Where can a man find a good male mentor? 

3. My daughter wants to have her 2-year-old daughter baptized, but her husband, who isn’t a believer, is opposed to it. Should she just put that on hold and believe in Acts 15:31, that her own baptism and faith will cover her daughter? Or should she stand in the gap created by her husband and proceed with the baptism? The teaching about being submissive to her husband is challenging, but I have been taught that if an unbelieving spouse’s desires go against what the Lord has commanded us to do. The believing spouse is not obligated to submit. 

4. I accepted Christ at 14, but I've lived a sinful life until I was 69. Did I possibly push God too far and lose my salvation? How do I know for certain that I have salvation? 

5. What does God mean by, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one?” The idea we get from movies, songs, and culture is that we must feel it. We have this expectation that the purpose of marriage is to be “happy” or “close” to our spouse. Isn't the purpose of marriage, instead, to bring us to the Father? Are there Christian marriages where the two are not united as one? Or is “united as one” an edict? Sometimes I wonder if I truly believe this based on how I react in my own marriage. 


The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller

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Should a Christian woman submit to an unbelieving spouse. That's just one of the questions will be answering on today's addition of core Christianity by Bill Meyer along with pastor Adm. Sanchez and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question.

At 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673. You can also email us with your question at questions at core, and you can post your question on our Facebook page or Instagram page anytime. Today we have a good news story to share with you a couple stuck in New Zealand during the COBIT 19 quarantine chose to spend their time volunteering either from Verona and Ingrid Rivera normally live in Los Angeles. They were on vacation in New Zealand when the government shut down all travel in and out of the country due to the coronavirus. They were staying in the town of Kaikoura and they chose to make the best of it and volunteer in their community. They were asked to help deliver groceries to the elderly people in the town and they ended up befriending a 91-year-old woman named Natalie. I got her shopping list each week and deliver the items to her door. Efrain says I had to learn the definition of stubby spuds and pickle. It's basically how to translate Kiwi into American in order to get her shopping done every week while as soon as the lockdown began to loosen up in New Zealand.

The couple took Natalie out for a drive to lift her spirits a great way to make the best of a difficult situation. Yeah well I think what's so remarkable about that is that they didn't just keep on vacationing. I mean, I feel like if I was stuck on vacation in New Zealand or in Hawaii probably just want to hang out at the beach all day.

You are good for them but in the couple let's get to our first question of the day and this one comes from Sybil who writes Peter and Judas both betrayed Jesus. But Peter was forgiven, went to heaven. Judas became remorseful in the end and killed himself or they just following directions in their betrayal or did Jesus being all-knowing know how they would react. I know the Bible doesn't report the Judas repented, but if he had before he killed himself.

Would he have been forgiven. We still killed himself a similar really is an interesting comparison to make them both apostles both at one point referred to by Jesus is under the influence of Satan, the evil one and Judas and they in Luke chapter 22 verse three and Peter in Matthew chapter 16 verse 23. Remember when Jesus said to Peter, get behind me Satan.

Peter was trying to tell him that he wasn't going to go to the cross. If both of them betrayed Jesus and Jesus knew that they would Matthew chapter 26 verse 24 Jesus said the Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed, it would have been better for that man if he had not been born. He's referring to Judas there. Later on in that very same chapter in Matthew 26 verses 33 through 35. Peter answered Jesus, though they all fall away because of you I will never fall away. And Jesus said to him, truly I say to you this very night before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.

Peter said to him, even if I must die with you, I will not deny you and all the disciples said the same. So it's it's obvious that Jesus knew this wasn't happening.

This is something that had been prophesied in the Scriptures in their betrayal. They were following Jesus's instruction they were compelled or coerced to do this, even though it had been declared by God, and they were totally responsible for their actions to the Scriptures hold these two truths together one the absolute sovereignty of God and to the real responsibility of men and women to repent.

I think of a verse like acts chapter 2, verse 23 Peter speaking to the men of Israel.

He says this man delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put him to death. See the two things they're working side-by-side. You have the predetermined plan of Almighty God. The sovereign plan of God and yet you also have the responsibility of people Peter says you nailed to a cross.

This man by the hands of godless men you put him to death. Now if Judas would have repented, he would have been saved. This gets it.

What is called contingency and theology.

God has ordained the free actions of men and women such that Judas, for example, could have chosen otherwise. But he didn't. You have both necessity you think of acts chapter 2 that the predetermined plan of God and contingency the possibility of other choices. The idea here is that God's decree doesn't remove our freedom when it establishes our freedom.

Now we're in deep here and we just started up the program so let's swim up to the surface and and let me try to bring this home.

Peter and Judas were acting freely, but under God's sovereign decree and sometimes people get uncomfortable when they are presented with this idea of of a sovereign God. The fear is what if you didn't choose me work decree for me to do X, Y or Z a look we don't have the inside scoop to God's decree, but we do know what God is revealed in his son Jesus, and Jesus says, everyone who comes to me I will never cast out. If you're concerned if you're wondering I don't know what God's decree is what if I'm to be lost.

Well, God calls all people everywhere to repent, to turn to him and he calls you to turn to him to turn to his son Jesus. And that's a call for all of us each and every one was a ghost. Every single person and so civil I mean, you raise a really good question. Where like I said were in deep the sovereignty of God, the responsibility of humanity, but we got understand Peter and Judas were not coerced, they were free. This was also something that had been prophesied. That was destined before the foundation of the earth.

Thanks for that response a drill in civil thank you so much for your question. By the way, if you like to call us with your question here is the phone number is 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673. You can also record your question on our website. If you go to court, look on the right side of the page will feel little radio microphone.

If you click on that you can record your question right there and here's that one of those calls that came in a drill today in St. Louis really question.

It's just more question about a woman with honors. But I've been in how he needs to get support demand figure and advise I will find that anyway I was just wondering if you had any suggestions on going again find that link to our email him our mail divan is you talking about anyway.

Have a good one guys got bless you that you hey Dave, thanks for listening.

God bless you to do you not remember that call that you're referring to is a woman talking about her husband who had a gambling in a videogame addiction my point. There was that so many young men in today's society did not have godly role models or influences. I didn't growing up I was raised by single mom male role model sometime.

Speaking of here, in particular, and I think for Christians, the best place to find.

This is in the body of Christ. The church first your pastor and elders and they should set godly examples worth emulating. Paul said in first Corinthians chapter 11 verse one. Be imitators of me as I imitate Christ but to the Philippian church.

He wrote brothers joining imitating me and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us for many of whom I have often told you now tell you even with tears walk is enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction there. God is their belly and they glory in their shame with mindset on earthly things he Paul E seems to be passionate about this very thing he says look I want you to watch us and imitate us.

Don't watch those other people. Those people whose end is destruction.

We need godly role models.

We tend to pick up the habits of of the people we look up to for better for worse. Why not learn godly habits in the church from men and women who are mature in the faith.

Let me tell you something Dave pre-was a guy, but also for all our listeners who are who are women for each of us surround yourself with people that are going to help you be more like Jesus.

The people who are going to help you mature in Christ and challenge you in healthy ways. I didn't mean so much that you need to find someone who's going to teach you how to change the starter in your car how to fix your St. you know you can watch a YouTube video for that. I think we want to be around people we want to learn from godly examples in the church is the best place to get that to say this if you don't have a church you need a church that this is one of the reasons why the body of Christ is so important.

God calls us to be a part of local churches that are constituted according to God's word, will you have pastors, elders and deacons.

Paul talks about this in first Timothy three and Titus chapter 1, and one of the things you get from the church is that example from other brothers in the Lord working to be able to encourage it. That was so important for me as a young man and a Christian when I first came to faith in high school. Being a part of a local church and having other brothers who were willing to invest in me, encourage me talk to me about the Lord white just so so important. We need that a lot of times we only hang out with people that are kind of in our same age range and have all the same affinities that we have the like the same things that we like what so important that in the church were not segregated.

It's not just all the young people over here and all the older people over there. Note we need each other. We need to encourage each other so Dave be in the church be invested in the life of the church and pour into the church and allow others in the church older godly men examples to pour into you to invest in you as well. They we pray that you will find that in your church is a drill set one of the first places to reach out as your pastor and if you're a larger church or pastor may not be available to do that sort of thing, but chances are that he can steer you toward someone older guy in the church who could act as that kind of mentor to this is core Christianity.

I'm Bill Meyer with pastor Adm. Sanchez. We want to tell you about a great opportunity that we have for you today I want to invite you to consider coming alongside of us. As a member of the inner core.

We are extremely thankful for the inner core members that we have in the regular gift to help us to accomplish our mission. Each and every day new listeners discover core Christianity every day and your support helps us keep reaching people all over the world with your monthly donation of $25 or more. You can be a part of the team that's making it possible for us to answer these questions and share the core truth of the Christian faith that are life-changing to core core. To learn more or give us a call at 833. The core call us anytime at 833-843-2673 Oregon go to core to learn more. We have an email question come in a drill from Ginger who lives in Florida and she says my daughter wants to have her two-year-old daughter baptized but her husband who isn't a believer is opposed to it. Should she just put that on hold and believe as acts 1531 says her own baptism and faith will cover her daughter or should she stand in the gap created by her husband and proceed with the baptism the teaching about being submissive to her husband is challenging, but I've been taught that if an unbelieving spouse desires go against what the Lord has commanded us to do the believing spouse is not obligated to submit. What do you think yeah Ginger thank you for sharing all of that with us in this is a situation that calls for wisdom. Peter says in first Peter three verses one into likewise wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one with out a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct in the context I think is with reference to an unbelieving spouse, you raise a question pertaining to know baptism and obeying the Lord. I think you are referring to acts 1631, where you have that the conversion of the Philippian jailer unit he's told believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved you and your household.

The heart of your question is when is it okay to go against a spouses wishes an unbelieving spouse.

In this situation I would be very careful here because the Scripture calls us in love and humility to submit to one another. There are people that will find any justification for why they don't have to do that and I think that's unhealthy, but I think you're right in this case with regard to obeying God rather than man. Think of it like this that I five heard of this situation countless times in the church. We have one spouse who is a Christian but he says I don't go to church because my wife or husband is in a believer and they don't want me there will guess what God still does. In situations where God's word is clear. We are called to obey God rather than man or woman that does this create difficulty yeah it does.

And I am fully aware of that but we aren't going to be a positive influence for Christ on our spouses before not willing to follow what Jesus calls us to do in order to please them. Let me say that again because I think it's so important. We are not going to be a positive influence for Jesus Christ on our spouses on our non-Christian spouses before not willing to follow what Jesus calls us to do in order to please our spouse Paul in verse 20 and 713 I mean he touches on this very thing. He says a woman who is an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her she must not send her husband away for the unbelieving husband is sanctified to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified to her believing husband for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. It seems like this text is written just for the question that you're asking Ginger look to get into all the ins and outs of infant baptism here. I'm one who happens to believe that the practice is biblical. I remember when I first started walking with Jesus going to my evangelical church is the only Roman Catholics baptized babies, but it wasn't the continuing to study that I realize now I figure a lot of Protestant denominations as well, but embrace this practice on the basis of Scripture.

And I'm glad it did into the Scripture sometimes but that's really not what you've asked this verse though in first Corinthians 7, speaks to your question, I believe your daughter can have a sanctifying influence on her husband by being obedient to Jesus and under the new covenant, God has declared that her two-year-old is clean and holy that languages Old Testament language that was applied to God's covenant people. The clean were those who could participate in the worship of Israel. The unclean were those who work outside of the camp. I think on the basis of God's word. Your daughter should pursue the baptism of her baby, not as an act of rebellion to her husband, but as an act of obedience to God thanks for your question. While heavy-duty one there, Israel, and of course the way that she delivers that messages key that she does it in love as Betty Wright loved her husband and not just think I'm gonna do this, but here's why and here's my belief and to approach her husband in a and a kind, gentle way. Let's go to another call that came in by the way, if you'd like to call us. Here's the number 833-843-2673 Jonny called us from Oklahoma accepted Christ as my Savior related to training but I live a simple life. Treasury adultery sandlot window all 69 will not getting baptized. I would actually think that will always greatly so how does one know you have salvation once liked. In terms of nursing.

Can you push God for salvation to permit hey Johnny, thank you for calling.

You know it is a dangerous game we play with God.

Many are playing it right now. It's the gamer we say.I'll get right with you later a minute to do my own thing over here and after I've had my fill.

I'll add religion to my life in order to make sure I'm I'm ready for whatever is coming at the moment that I die. It's a gamble and you listening right now you might be playing that game with God. Let me tell you something.

Don't presume on God's grace. You don't know what today holds, much less tomorrow Jesus talked about how we always have to be ready. Matthew 24 verses 48 and following. If that wicked servant says to himself. My master is delayed and begins to beat his fellow servants and eats and drinks with drunkards, the master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him in an hour. He does not know and will cut him in pieces, and put him with the hypocrites in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Yet when the day of salvation is it isn't tomorrow. It's today and when you hear the voice of God's spirit convicting you of sin, calling you to faith in Christ today right now is the time to respond because you don't know what tomorrow is going to be like our hearts are hardened by sin, and while we can't lose our salvation. We can do is cauterize ourselves to the truth. We hear over and over again and rejected so many times that we become numb. Now Johnny.

I praise God. Now you're seeing that you've been living in ways that are pleasing to Christ.

It is a testament to God's steadfast love and mercy is the I believe that for every true believer. Despite the ups and downs that we go through God does not let go of us. He never leaves us or forsakes us. If you truly Jesus is he will hold onto you and it looks like he's done just that. If you turn to Christ, and you believe in him for the salvation of your soul.

You aren't lost. Johnny, the fact is that there's been this change, and even the fact that you're calling right now.

It shows that God is working in your heart, and I think that should give you comfort. Here's some more good news. You might be discouraged because you've been stiff arming the Lord for all these years you know from 14 to 69.

But guess what God can do more with you and in you and through you in one day than you can do in a lifetime of trusting in yourself. Let him use you, and rest in the fact that by faith all of your sins are washed away. How can you know that your saved brother. Do you believe in Jesus Christ and you turned from your sins to him, looking to him and when John says in first John, I want you to know that you have eternal life.

This how we can know that we have eternal life to all who believe in Jesus Christ, that Jesus is the son of God have eternal life.

You can have that hope for yourself, brother your listing the core Christianity and if you have a question you can always email us at questions at core,, Mr. Baker wrote to us and said what does God mean by a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two are united into one. The idea we get from movies and songs and cultures that we must feel it. We have this expectation. The purpose of marriage is to be happy or close to our spouse isn't the purpose of marriage instead to bring us to the father, are there Christian marriages where the two are not united as one or is united as one in edict, sometimes I wonder if I truly believe this based on how I react in my own marriage and will the one flushing you in Scripture refers to the act of physical union that consummates the marriage bond but also refers to the fact that were united together, man and woman in this unique commitment to each other in marriage. The whole thing is very covenantal covenant is this is the Bible word, a covenant is like a sacred pledge, sometimes between two people.

In this case is rooted in love its commitment now the fireworks might wear off, and of that newlywed feeling of bliss. The best thing I've ever read on this comes from CS Lewis's mere Christianity in his chapter on Christian marriage. He makes the point that a lot of people think that love is something that you catch like the cold or the coronavirus units. It updated our context, it just gets you one day and you feel all the symptoms and then it disappears.

We fall in love or we fall out of love and how many times have you heard divorce is happening because we quote just stopped loving each other. We know that it's it's it's a choice, marital love is a bond rooted in the pledge or promise made between two people and sustained in Christian marriages. By God's grace, you're not always inhabit the same exact feelings because there are seasons in marriage. Just like there are seasons in life, but the love doesn't go away.

It matures. I think that's what's so important for us to understand and obeying one flesh being one with your spouse doesn't mean that you're always good at think the same or feel the same about things certainly not there is conflict at times, but it does mean that were brought together by God united by God and Jesus says what God has joined together, let not man separate marriage is this beautiful picture of the gospel and Mr. Baker. I do want to say this that I mentioned to you that book mere Christianity how I how helpful I think that chapter on on Christian marriages will working to send you a free copy of mere Christianity. And I want to encourage you to read that chapter may beat with Mrs. Baker and just to sit down and reflect on it because I get really helpfully unpacks some of the things that I've been talking about here is not primarily about feelings. It's about the word God's pledge. That's where our hope is and it's it's the same and in marriage. I think the feelings are going to change, and it doesn't mean that we don't always have love, because love is not to be confused with just this feeling that comes and goes out with this pledge is rooted in something so much so much more precious.

I think that helps us to understand we were going through those difficult times that were still bound together in covenant, in love by God.

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