Wrestling with Bitterness (Naomi & Ruth): Nana Dolce

It's important for me to know when I'm going through a struggle that my covenant God is in this, because otherwise, who is stronger than him in this moment?

And so he's still faithful and I have to trust, even if I don't believe, I feel it in the moment, I have to trust God's intentions are good and he is with us even in calamity. Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Shelby Abbott and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today.

Today. So we're talking about a woman today in Scripture that's going to change our lives. I'm a prophet right now. I'm prophesying that this study will change our lives. I think every story in Scripture can change our lives, but I think this one's going to be fun.

We have Nana Dolce back in the studio with us today and we've been talking about her book. By the way, you're a Bible scholar. You are. Of all the people we have on here, you are a scholar. I mean, any topic, any person like today, Naomi, we're just going to dive deep because you dive deep.

Are you wired that way? When I became a Christian, one of the things that changed instantly was my desire to read the Bible. I actually didn't understand my Bible for a very long time. I read it out of a duty more so than out of a desire. And when I became a Christian, I just wanted to read my Bible. I had a desire, a passion for it and also seeking to understand it. So it definitely was not instant. It wasn't automatic. It was asking questions.

It was studying. I guess I want those listening to know they can do this too. This isn't a Nana Dolce thing.

Yeah, you can do this too. And Nana, I think the more I read it, the more fascinated and intrigued I am by it. It's so good, isn't it?

It's the best story ever told. I want to have you help our listener understand. How do you read the Bible in a way you understand it? Because when you said that, I thought a lot of people feel what you felt. I don't understand it. It's too deep. And even Bible helps and study Bibles.

All those kind of things are very, I didn't even know they existed. I just felt like I read it and I was supposed to sit there and go, whoa, what does this mean? What are the ways that you discovered how to understand it? My first answer will seem like, oh, of course, that's the Christian answer.

That's what we're supposed to say. But pray, pray before you read your Bible. There's a scripture that says that these are spiritual things and we understand them through the Spirit. The Spirit of God helps us. He opens our eyes to see treasures and to see marvelous things. Ask Him to do that.

Go to God and ask Him to help you. And then maybe there's someone in your church, right, who you know, oh, they're just so faithful in studying their Bible. They enjoy it.

They love it. Ask if you could study with them. Ask your pastors.

That's good. And I have another thing they can do. They can read the Bible and they can look at certain scriptures based on your book. I thought you were going to say something else.

That's why I agree so quickly. The Seed of the Woman, which is a book that you've written talking about Jesus and you're looking at women of the Bible. But I thought if you just haven't been able to get into your scripture, maybe read about these women that are in your book in the Bible first and then read it in your book, too. And you'll see all these different things come alive. And we've already been talking about Esther and the impact that she made on the entire Jewish community.

By saving them, ultimately, God was the Savior and Mordecai and so many people fasting and praying. But today we're going to go a little different route. Naomi. Yeah. Let's look at Naomi.

Talk to us about Naomi. I've read it. I don't understand it.

I'm going to pretend, OK? Help me understand it. I know that's not true.

But yes. So this is in the Book of Ruth. And in many ways, I think the Book of Ruth begins and ends with Naomi. And so this is a woman who her husband during famine uproots the entire family and takes them to Moab. They live in Bethlehem, which means house of bread. But the house of bread is empty. There's a famine. There's nothing to eat. They go to Moab. And things were supposed to be better for them.

There was supposed to be more food. But Naomi is met with another kind of famine, another kind of drought, which is the stripping away of her entire family. So her husband dies. She has two sons and they die.

Before they die, though, they marry these two Moabite women, Ruth and Orpah. Her name, Naomi, means sweet or pleasant, but she grows bitter because of the adversity that she encounters. Well, I get it. I get it, too. I mean, she moves to a place where she doesn't know anyone.

It's a whole new community. She's not with her people that she's been with. And then she loses her husband, which is tragic. And then she loses her two sons.

I would be in a heap on the floor crying every day. And let's not forget that this is also a society where her well-being and her sustenance depends on the inheritance that belong to the men. Yes. So not only is she obviously she's lost these family members that I'm sure are dear to her, but suddenly she becomes impoverished.

She's a poor, destitute woman because her dependency is on the men in her life and all of them are dead. I wonder, too, what she felt about her sons marrying Moabite women. Yeah.

Because in Scripture, the Jewish people were told not to marry foreigners and her sons did. They did. What do you think? Yeah. I wonder if the father moving them to Moab justified the decision for the sons.

Yeah. Because here they were in Moab and these were the women. And so they marry these women. But absolutely, Numbers 25, actually God calls out the Moabites and says, I won't even have a Moabite to a certain generation within my community.

So it was very strict. But yeah, her sons marry these Moabite women. One thing I'll say for Naomi is when you look at Ruth chapter one, she hears that the famine is over. She's deciding to move back to Bethlehem. And when she's appealing to these two women, she's unashamed about evoking the name of Yahweh. And so she, you know, sometimes I feel like when we have family members who are not in Christ.

Yeah. Maybe they're even a different religion. We're a little nervous to talk about our God with them.

Will I offend them? But she doesn't talk about Chemosh and Baal. She doesn't evoke the gods of Moab. She talks about the Lord himself. And she says, may the Lord deal kindly with you as you have dealt with me. And so it tells me that she probably was unashamed in living out her trust in Yahweh before these foreign women. Which makes me think her faith was still vibrant. Sure.

Yeah. She reminds me of Job in a lot of ways. So in my book, I call her the female Job in some ways. I think if she and Job met, they would have sat down and had some tea.

And they would have been understanding friends because Job loses many family members. He's stripped of a lot of things. So is Naomi.

And they both see God's hand in their suffering, which is a big one. How do you get there? And how did Naomi get there? Because when you said she's bitter, I think a lot of us have felt that. There may be some listening right now that are bitter and they're like, how do I dig out of that?

Yeah. How does she dig out? Chapter one of Ruth, I don't see Naomi being quick to actually dig out of it. She says some pretty strong things. When they go back to Bethlehem, the women gather around her.

They're excited to see her. And they're like, oh, Naomi, you're back. And she says to them in verse 20, do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, which means bitter. For the almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. And she said, I went away full and the Lord, she uses his covenant name, has brought me back empty. Call me Naomi. Why call me Naomi? When the Lord has testified against me and the almighty has brought calamity upon me.

She keeps calling his name and saying, he's in this. Initially, when we read this, we're tempted to say, oh, Naomi, don't blame God or don't accuse God falsely. And we do want to be careful, obviously, in how we think about God's hand in our suffering, because we know that God is never the author of evil. But sometimes we want to defend God, especially if someone is going through something and you come alongside them. There's sometimes a temptation to say, God hasn't done this or he's really good.

We want to give those platitudes. But the person sitting in that pain, especially if they're like Naomi and Job, and they know that this sovereign God could have prevented this. And this sovereign God's providence could have made my husband and my son strong and with me. It's hard for them to hear our little platitudes, our little, you know, they know that God was able to prevent this.

And so if it's happened, then he's in it. In chapter one, Naomi is not quick to dig out of it. But as we keep going, I think she will come to see that even in calamity, even when really bad and hurtful things happen to us, God is in it and his intention is always good. Even if it doesn't feel good. I'm thinking about how sometimes I want people to get out of that. Yeah.

Maybe too quickly. Sure. Like, oh, come on, God is good. But do you think sometimes they do need to sit in it a little bit more and grieve it? I don't ever want to take the honor of God's sovereignty away from him just because I'm hurting.

Yeah. It would be the worst thing for you to tell me God is not in my pain because then who is? Who was stronger than God to allow this to happen? I need to hear that God is in it because he's still Yahweh. He's still her covenant God. She calls him by his covenant name.

She never changes that. Her covenant God is in this. And it's important for me to know when I'm going through a struggle that my covenant God is in this because otherwise who is stronger than him in this moment? And so he's still faithful and I have to trust, even if I don't believe, I feel it in the moment, I have to trust that just as Joseph told his brothers, you intended this for evil, but he intended it for good. His good intention will come. Let me keep living.

Let me see how this story works out in the end. God's intentions are good and he is with us even in calamity. Watching my mom, she held on to that somehow. When I was a little boy, six, seven years old, she goes through a horrible divorce by a man that cheated on her, my dad. And then when we move, and the only reason we moved to where we moved is because that's where her parents were, so she had support and a system there as a single mom now in the 60s.

My little brother dies of leukemia. He's six years old and, man, obviously I remember that. I do not remember mom being bitter. I remember her being sad and questioning. But as I think back through those years, there was this steady faith that God was in it. Even though it was hard. I'm just sitting here listening to you going, yeah, she held on to that.

Even when I was middle school, high school, like, Mom, come on, there's no God. He abandoned us. And she's like, no, he's with us. It's hard, it's dark at times, but he's there.

That's Naomi. It took her a while, but she got there. I remember one of our friends, Jamie Winship, saying, when we go through hard times, many of us ask, why God? Why God? And he said, you seldom hear God answering that question why. But he said, this really stuck out to me, especially when I lost my sister when she was in her 40s. Instead of saying, why God? Because I did ask those questions. This makes no sense, God.

I don't even understand why you would allow this to happen. But Jamie, our friend said, instead of asking why God, ask God, what do you want me to know in this situation? And I remember when I walked through that, I felt like God just wanted me to know he is with me. He is with me. He is with me. And I have a sense that Naomi feels that. He's with me.

Even though I'm wallowing and I'm bitter, I know that he's still with me. Yeah. So true. It reminds me, I mentioned she's my female Job. And Job definitely is asking why. Yeah, he doesn't shy away. He doesn't.

And God shows up at the end of Job. He doesn't answer the direct questions of why. But he does ask Job questions. Where were you when I made this creature Leviathan, this fierce creature? I lead him like you would lead a dog on a leash. God wants Job to know the who.

This is who I am. So how did Naomi get there? Keep walking us with her. What we'll see is that she isn't stripped of everything after all. Because there's this daughter-in-law who says, I'm clinging to you, Naomi.

And where you go, I will go and your God will be my God. And in chapter one, Ruth doesn't seem like much, right? Like it would be better if she had her man. It would be better if she had her boys.

This foreign girl, like what is she going to do to help this old woman? We're going to see that God can use the unexpected. And when you think you've lost everything, right? God is writing a story. He's such a good author. And there are plot twists that will show his glory and his care for us, his love and kindness. That's a theme throughout the book of Ruth has said, God's love and kindness.

And it continues to show up. And Ruth is definitely an example of that in Naomi's life. Because she says, I'm going with you and I'm not leaving you. And again, as someone who, I'm a mom through adoption. I get that idea of claiming someone who's not biologically yours.

You really don't have to have responsibility for this person. But you cling to a person and says, you're mine. And I'm going to take all of you and be committed to you. May the Lord help our Christian communities to have more of that. To care for each other in that kind of way.

It's not always easy. But wouldn't it be great if more and more the Lord saw those Ruth and Naomi relationships among our communities. But she goes with her mother-in-law and they come to Bethlehem right at the time of the harvest.

And again, we see God's providence in that. So Ruth is going to become someone who will glean. She'll leave Naomi and go into these fields. She's a foreign woman and she'll just go into these fields.

So there was this law. And look down upon, I might add. Because she is a foreigner. When you read the book of Ruth, she's always described as Ruth the Moabite. Ruth the Moabite. Highlighting the fact that she's not an Israelite.

And she goes into these fields. And this is the time of the judges. So the very first sentence we read in the book of Ruth is, in the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. And if you read the book of judges, you know that these are terrible times. Oh, everyone is doing right in their own eyes. And when human beings decide to do right in our own eyes, we can do some pretty terrible things. Including take advantage of the vulnerable. Especially vulnerable women. So in the book of judges, there are women who are raped and who are just absolutely abused. And so this foreign woman is going out into these fields.

Why? Because she's committed to caring for Naomi. To provide food for her.

Yes. And she puts herself in danger, really. Ruth puts herself in danger in going out into the fields. I think Naomi too, for Ruth to be so committed to her and her God. Because doesn't she say, and your God will be my God? So Naomi did represent this attractiveness of this God of the Israelite people. She must have talked about him, she must have trusted him for Ruth to be so faithful in her love and care for Naomi. But also risking her own life. Yeah, I believe she did. And the speech that Naomi gives to Ruth and Orpah in chapter one testifies of that. Because she's willing to let them go.

Right. She doesn't say, you married into this family, your obligation is with me. I need you to come and do what you can to help me to survive. She says, why go with me? Go back to your moms and dads.

I have no more sons. She says, what God has done to me, it actually hurts me in the sense that it puts you at a disadvantage. So you see her care for them. And I think Ruth noticed that. I think she noticed that. And she saw some of that has said, that love and kindness in Naomi. Okay, keep going. I want to hear the rest.

Absolutely. So she, Ruth, it says, there's a verse that I love where it says that her feet happened to land on the field that was Boaz, Boaz's field. Her feet happened to land. And so even there we see God's providence, right? That he is sovereign right down to our footsteps. That's good.

Yeah. She didn't know where she was going. She didn't know whose field was which. She happened to come right to the place where she would be protected, where she would be free to glean as much as possible. And she never goes back to her mother-in-law empty-handed. So remember, in chapter one, Naomi is stressing how God has stripped her and made her empty. That's this word empty that she keeps saying. In chapter two, we see God beginning to fill Naomi through Ruth's love and kindness, right? The woman who just said, the Almighty has brought calamity upon me. At the end of chapter two, she says this. May he be blessed by the Lord, speaking of Boaz, whose kindness, God's kindness, has not forsaken the living or the dead. So her words are already changing.

Yeah, they are. And she's beginning to see, okay, God stripped me of my husband and of my sons, but ultimately he's going to fill me with himself. I'm just imagining, Ruth, how she filled up so many of those empty places for Naomi, even as they talked. And then Naomi begins to strategize with Ruth, like, hmm, this is interesting that Boaz is showing you some favor. So take us to the next part. So she begins to have hope now for rest for her and for Ruth through this man, Boaz.

And she comes up with this interesting strategy. It's like that older mama at your church. So I go to a church in Southeast D.C. that is filled with older women.

Our church is, you know, I wouldn't say it's a very, very large church, but it's big enough. But most of the members are 60 and over. So I'm a baby. I remember when I was turning 30 and I was telling these women and they're like, girl, you ain't nothing but a baby. I'm like, I'm turning 30. They're like, 30 ain't nothing but a baby. So, I mean, let me give you a sense of when I talk about the age. We recognize birthdays.

You have to be 80 and above to get your birthday called out on Sunday. Come on. Octogenarians. How does that feel for you being with these older women? Oh, I love it so much.

I love it so much. There isn't one Sunday I can remember where they haven't called out a birthday. That's how many older members we have. That's what I was going to ask. Really? A lot of them are older members who came from the south during like the Great Migration, when people were moving away from the south and kind of coming more to the north, finding jobs in D.C. And all you have to do is sit down with them and you will hear all these stories of growing up in the south.

And so a lot of them I call mama this and mama that and they've adopted our family. So when I look at this advice that Naomi gives to Ruth, it doesn't sound like one that Ruth would have come up with on her own. Right.

Yeah. It was it was a mama somebody saying, girl, this is what you need to do. I need you to bathe, put on that perfume, get fresh, go to the field, wait for him to eat and drink now.

And then when he lays over here, go over here and and do this and that and wait for him to see what he will say. Boaz was a member of Naomi's family, so she knew him. She knew him. And I don't think she would have sent her there if she was if she knew that there was a threat of something happening to Ruth. She knew he was a good man. She knew he was a worthy man, which is the word that is consistently used to describe Boaz in this story.

She knew that Boaz wouldn't take advantage of Ruth. But I think she knew that Ruth doing that would put the matter very clearly in Boaz's court. Like, OK, we need you to redeem because there was a custom called the leverage marriage, where if a man dies and leaves a widow, especially one without an heir, she's going to be poor.

She's going to be out of the family in order to keep her within the family and to keep the property of the dead man, to give him an heir. Someone who was related to them would redeem her by marriage. And so Boaz qualified to do this and Naomi knew it. So she sends Ruth to the fields to to really essentially say, redeem us.

Yeah, redeem us. Naomi ain't no dummy. This girl, and I'm thinking as she's strategizing and praying and thinking and even recalling who Boaz was, I'm sure she was praying like crazy. But I'm also seeing her hope probably reignited. Yeah.

Of her future reignited as she sees her daughter in law and wants the best for her daughter in law. Yeah. Take us to the end of the story.

Well, I mean, I don't know if we have time. Well, we'll get into Ruth tomorrow. But Naomi, I think we can end on with Naomi.

Yeah, because Boaz does it. He redeems Ruth and they have a baby who is legally Naomi's grandson. Because remember, leverage marriage means that that boy is he's recognized as Ruth's former husband's child. And they laid this baby on her. Remember in chapter one, she says she's empty. By the end of the story, she has a bouncing baby boy filling her arms.

And again, those same women from chapter one come and they surround her. And they named the boy Obed, which means servant, because they say he will serve his grandmother and nourish her in her old age. God's intentions for Naomi were good all along because this boy will nourish Naomi. But he will also lead to King David, who will ultimately lead to the best king, the servant king, the redeeming king. What God wanted for Naomi was so much bigger than she could even imagine.

A redemption that would come all the way down to this savior who has redeemed all of us. So in some ways it comes back to when we are where she was, feeling empty. There's a God in control. There's a God, like you said earlier.

I've never heard that. Her feet ended up, you know, who's in control of even our little footsteps. Yeah. And if you're at that place where you feel absolutely empty, there is a God who fills, who fills. And your story is not over.

He's amazing. I don't know about you, but I have certainly felt empty at times in my life. Things are busy with my kids, getting them to all their practices, driving around, juggling activities and dinner and church stuff and work, and sometimes there's just an emptiness that looms and lingers in the midst of the craziness of life. Well, even though I might feel that and you might feel that, God is still present. He's present. Not far.

Near. Closer than we can know, and He's revealed Himself to us in the person of Jesus. Remember Christ in those empty moments and know that He emptied Himself so that we could be filled with the love of God.

He made Himself nothing so we could have everything. I'm Shelby Abbott, and you've been listening to Dave and Anne Wilson with Nana Dulce on Family Life Today. If you enjoyed the conversation that you heard today, or you heard the one from the last couple of days, and maybe you want to learn a little bit more about God's loving control over all things, you can get this content with Nana Dulce in a unique and special format. You can sign up for a special email series, which is a four-week video series with Nana Dulce. All you have to do is head over to familylifetoday.com, and you can find it in our show notes.

Just sign up there, and we'll get you all set up. And stay tuned for day four with Nana Dulce and our series with her coming up tomorrow. Just make sure to go back and listen to any past episodes with Nana Dulce if you loved our time with her today or the last couple of days. That's what she's been on before, talking about the seed of the woman. You can find it in the show notes section on familylifetoday.com.

And Nana has written a book called The Seed of the Woman, 30 Narratives That Point to Jesus. This book is going to be our gift to you when you give to Family Life Today. You can get your copy right now with any donation that you make by going online to familylifetoday.com and click on the donate now button at the top of the page. Or just give us a call with your donation at 800-358-6329. Again, that number is 800-F as in family, L as in life, and then the word today. Or feel free to drop your donation in the mail to us if you'd like.

Our address is Family Life, 100 Lakehart Drive, Orlando, Florida, 32832. Now Nana Dulce is back again tomorrow with David Ann Wilson to discuss themes of redemption and breaking generational curses. That's coming up tomorrow. We hope you'll join us. On behalf of David Ann Wilson, I'm Shelby Abbott. We'll see you back next time for another edition of Family Life Today. Family Life Today is a donor supported production of Family Life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.