Layers After Hours

This is Hans Schile from the Finishing Well Podcast.

On Finishing Well, we help you make godly choices about Medicare, long-term care, and your money. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and choosing the Truth Podcast Network. From an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours.

A time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here, now.

Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours, and we're excited to have you with us. And Jim, how many more EAVs, just in numbers, not the E-V-V-V-V count, but how many more EAVs do we have until Blue Camp? Six for those of you that sign up and join us.

So you need to sign up and join us. It's not that many. Otherwise, it doesn't matter. It's less than that. No, it's six. It's five. It's six. It's five for us. It's six.

I should trust your math. What am I doing? What am I thinking? Yeah. So Rodney, no, I'm just kidding.

And Danny, would you like to set us up, tell us what the show is about? We have been talking about layers and layers of wounding, layer of healing. And we started out with the clip from Shrek where he talks about ogres are like onions. And in this show, I've been had layers of wounding about watching the mic go back and forth and not going to say anything. But anyway, that's what we're talking about is layers of wounding and layers of healing.

Everything. Everything has layers. We'll just keep talking then. Yeah. You got anything you want to say?

No, layers. I did have a story. All right, go ahead. You got the mic. I do at the moment. I'm going to guard it at the moment. Yeah, and maybe your only opportunity.

Yeah, this is it. Well, coming up to Boot Camp, sometimes you choose a talk, I guess, you want to do, and sometimes it chooses you. And I think mine chose me this time as the poser. And what has been interesting is God has began to peel away the layers of my independence.

And I didn't realize what was going on until last week. And I've had this psoriasis, and you guys know the struggle I've had with it, with medications and stuff like that. And my fingers just, they literally come apart if I try to do anything. And it's frustrating for a guy who works with his hands. Well, I don't now. I move a mouse. It's tough work.

Yeah, it is. I wear steel-toed boots so my desk falls. And so what I realized was my fear is that I'm not going to be able to take care of myself or take care of my wife, take care of my family. And I began to struggle with that and all that that comes with that wounding. And God began to peel the layers off.

And he's going, don't you realize I take care of you. And so we are, I am excited and somewhat fearful of this boot camp. Because there's been something in my spirit since we started talking about this boot camp that something big is coming. Well, what's the beginning of wisdom?

Fear of the Lord. Amen. So that's been kind of my story is, and you know, I've talked with my wife about it.

She said, well, I will take care of you. And which is awesome to have a good wife. What Proverbs says, he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Took me a couple of chances, but I found a good thing. So, anyway. Yeah, you just need to, your picker was off. You were looking, you were looking in all the wrong places, right?

And he took his hand off the mic so he lost it. Yeah. Do you have something you want to talk about? A clip, maybe. Yeah, that'd be good. You want to go ahead and set up the clip? I can do that. Okay. If my microphone will stop. We have three microphones for six people, so it could be seven. Except one of them we're not allowing to have it. So, my count was right.

Next time. Yeah, if you say so. Anyway, I love Lord of the Rings. And we needed, I told folks I was Robby this week.

And I'm trying to add some class to the picks he has. And this is one of the great ones. This is during a time when Pippin and Merryweather have headed off on their own adventure. And they were wandering through the Entwoods and got picked up by Ents, literally. And taken for the battle with Saruman the White. And the, most of the rest of the troop, Gimli and that elf guy, I like the dwarf. I forgot his name.

Yes. Legolas. Legolas, thank you. No, wrong one. Elf guy was Legolas. One of them was, but anyway. Gimli's a dwarf.

Gimli's a dwarf. And Aragorn were going through the woods looking for their buddies. And are terrified because they recognize that the White Wizard is in their path. And you'll hear a quick battle when they lose to the White Wizard. They've all tried and these are great fighters so they know they're in trouble.

And you may play it. You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits. Where are they?

They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you? Who are you? Show yourself! I cannot be. Forgive me. I mistook you for Saruman. I am Saruman. You are the Saruman as you should have been. You fell. Too far.

I've been sent back until my task is done. Gandalf. Gandalf?

Yes. That was what they used to call me. Gandalf the Grey.

That was my name. Gandalf. I am Gandalf the White. And I come back to you now.

At the turn of the tide. And Gandalf the Grey was the leader of their group along with Aragorn. They would have expected he was dead because he fell into a bottomless pit basically with a Balrog which is an evil being from the pit.

I guess I can say the pit of hell from here for this show. You can. But I wanted to pick on Rodney because he got censored and I didn't.

Get smacked down. But with Gandalf he did a transformation. He had a layer added to him and he became the good white wizard after Saruman failed terribly at that. And that was a layer that was added to him that brought him to the point where he was able to help the team get to the next step and accomplish the mission. So it was a wonderful reuniting of the group but it was one that started fearful.

And we missed the battle but it was awfully short where they actually were trying to fight against the white wizard they feared and then found the white wizard that was wonderful. And that's one of the things that happens when God removes layers for us. We can turn from being evil to being good in a heartbeat.

For some of us it's taken a lot longer. It can be a layer that's quickly removed or many layers over time. And then we go back to that thing again. You don't know which layer he's going to. He's going after at that moment.

If anyone's been listening to the show you know over the last two years. My life has been you know topsy-turvy and I've gone through the thoughts of suicide and you know quit my job lost. In my mind at that time everything right. But I didn't understand what I was gaining. You know the Lord took me through a time of testing. It was a true testing and showing me where my faith really was. And showing me that you know that no matter where we are with our relationship you know we believe on a level. We don't fully believe.

Where would we really believe would be if we truly believe every word that's written in scripture right. But during that time you know he was stripping things from me and he was adding other things to me. He was stripping this understanding now that I had more faith in my job and money and the things around me. The people around me than I had in him. You know is he truly a loving father. Is he really going to take care of me because I can remember sitting on top of the mountain with a pistol on my knee. Thinking he's never going to come through.

They're better off without me. And I look back at that now and I see how he came through at the very last minute. In my mind at the very last minute for him it was right on time.

And it wasn't even it was abundantly above and beyond anything I thought. And there was another testing right before he gave me that right. He gave me another job that was it was a job it was horrible. But he was testing my heart to see if I could be content if I could just trust him in it and I did. And in that moment whenever I finally laid everything down said okay Lord if this is where you want me I'll mentor these young men.

I'll do all these I'll do whatever you want me to do here. Immediately he blessed us abundantly and beyond. Even in the even in the losing of the home it really wasn't a losing. Because after I met the family that was buying the home who came up from Florida with the same understanding that God was directing them. And now being able to look at that and see that we were preparing a place for them to come to.

Not to mention now I have a different perspective. Right because I know that he gives us the layers that we need for the journey to come. You know each one of us every one of us is on a different journey so be very careful how you judge others journeys. But he gives you exactly what you need for the next leg or for legs to come. So pay attention to those things those little things whatever it is he's trying to do with you in the moment it has its purpose it has its reason. I had the hardest time with the scripture that says rejoice in your trials and tribulations right.

But it says very clearly that it brings about these things it brings about patience, endurance, faith, hope. You know he's he wants to do a great work in our lives but we're comfortable right. We get comfortable and we dig in so far and we don't want to go any further and we're content here.

I'm happy with my onion right where it is it's just the right size right. I don't need any more taking off I'm good. And you know it is it's a hard thing can make you cry.

I can't I can't. Wayne thank you. Jim I want to go back to something you know this show is called The Masculine Journey right. And it comes from stuff that Eldridge talks about you know that's where we kind of latched on to some of the concept. But in The Masculine Journey you know you literally have layers added on to you your whole life. You start out in boyhood right. And then as Eldridge would write in his book it goes to Cowboy Ranger. I like yeah I was going to say Ranger because I prefer that to cowboy. Yeah and some would prefer one or the other but Cowboy Ranger stage. And then you go into the warrior right and lover right.

And those can overlap and they can overlap. King but even when you're king you still have to know that you're the loved boy of the father right. Still as the king you have to have a heart for being the ranger or cowboy. And as all women will tell you men are just big boys. Yeah which we are. We are.

I still laugh at the same things I laughed at when I was 10 or 11. I try not to but Robby makes us do it. And then that continues and so these layers are built and Morgan Snyder wrote the book Becoming a King. And you know the whole concept is God is preparing us for these next steps. And so and along with those steps hopefully we're continuing to grow in intimacy with him. Yeah the position of senior pastor is a kingship. And I was asked if I wanted it and my reaction was laughing. I said no I'm in the sage stage and while I have my small kingdom with my wife.

And there's other things that are part of that. But having the major kingdom that we seek in our middle age is no longer appealing. So I just figured they said senior pastor because you're a pastor. Senior pastor. That's not true because Jim you know you would be a senior pastor because of who you are and everything you bring to the table. But it is not where God's placed me and I'm good with that.

I prefer the one on one stuff. You're most of our senior. And I really pray for Harold to have a long life because I do not want to take his position. No, no.

Andy did you have something you wanted to add? Yeah so I was kind of meditating on it this week and I'm in Ephesians 4. 22 came up to me to put on, to put off your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is, I'm sorry. Yeah to put on your old self which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires. You're really talking about taking off your old self and that's those layers.

That's what I think we're talking about here. And then it got me thinking well what's the reverse of that? So I got to thinking about layers. You know layers, I never heard it as a kid it was just put on your big coat and run it and go outside.

But then it became more popular to run. The most effective way to keep yourself warm is layers when it's colder. So it's a cold world out there but I just got to thinking about if I was to put on Christ like it also tells us in the epistles. Epistles I don't remember which one but you know I put on a t-shirt that says my father loves me and he created the universe. And then I put on a pullover that says you know my name is Andy aka strength of God. You know I put on a hoodie that says I'm a warrior in my father's army. You know the overcoat that says I thought through all this through obviously but the overcoat that says you have what it takes.

I went after a guy at the restaurant tonight because he had love out loud on the back of his shirt. But you know the whole thing about it is is that the layers that we've put on now we've went back through. And you could even go into those you could say in the identity like when you get your new name you get multiple new names. And there's layers to that. So the cool thing is that God has a way of backing out all those layers and then adding to all these good things and layers and that as you were saying. I just wanted to say that to kind of support what you were saying Jim. And like you said we do have different layers God's given us in the new name. I mean I got five and you guys make fun of all of them.

It makes me feel special. Only waxing. Yeah Gibbons give us something.

Gibbons would be monkeyish. Okay sorry. I didn't realize that when I said it actually. I think I heard it on the show. Was that on the show? It might have yeah. Yeah monkeying around waxing Gibbons. Yeah that's where I got that. Yeah so we could keep talking or we could play Rodney's clip.

What do you guys vote? Play Rodney's clip. Okay we'll play Rodney's clip.

Wow I get my clip played. There were some votes against it but none of them had microphones. And it's still a lot of time in the show. And Sam has a microphone so I'm surprised I didn't get shot down. Well he spoke before I did. Yeah he's quick. Thanks Jim.

Anything for a friend. All I have to say is it's complicated. So that's where my brain went when I started thinking about this concept of layers and what we do and coming up with that kind of hey layers are in about everything is where it's like oh man it's just complicated. So I was like there's a movie called that isn't there? So I went and looked it up and I was like oh that's what movie that is.

And then I thought well I'll see what the trailer is like and it kind of I mean it does portray a lot of different layers of relationships and things like that that end up happening in our lives. So what's happening in this movie is the older couple they get divorced because the husband has an affair with a younger woman. Typical kind of story we see a lot in movies and in reality. So he goes and has this affair. He's really realizing that hey he made a big mistake. He's now attracted back to his wife, his ex-wife and his ex-wife is actually finding another man about the same time and she's ending up having a relationship with two different people and the kids are finding out during this time.

And it's just a very complicated layers of people discovering what's really going on throughout the entire movie. Thank you. You don't have to bump into him.

Oh that's true. My marriage is not turning out as I hoped. She got me booked at the fertility center every other day. Jacob Adler.

Have fun. One tiny note, no his and her sinks. And you don't think in the future you might want a his? Now we're talking code about my life. I thought he'd never leave. What are you doing here? I've never really known how to live without you.

I'm having an affair with a married man. You're not saying. Oh yes I am. I would like to propose a toast to your mother. Out of nowhere, sudden appreciation. Not totally out of nowhere if you know what I mean. I think.

This is very French of us. Oh my God. I have a young wife but I'm having sex with my old wife. My old, you know, ex.

That nerdy architect really likes you. You know that doesn't it? I haven't had fun in almost three years Jake.

They must be hammered. Something like that. Hey there's your ex-husband. Uh oh.

Why so intense big fella? Let's see if we can make this work. We can't Jake. How about this? Gray sweater, very old. You have to keep that. It's cozy. Okay.

I'll meet you back at 30. Mother. What. Whoa. It's complicated.

It's complicated Sam. Thank you Rodney. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well. And I think about our stories and what you guys have brought to the table over the years and I just see how complicated others lives are.

I'm like wow. I'm not the only one with a complicated life. I'm not the only one that has things coming at them out of left field and I'm not the only one that has this specific issue. I'm not the only one that has those issues. It's one of those things where you're kind of nice when you're like can say hey you know what.

I actually don't have one of those issues. I'm missing that layer and it's like I don't want it. Kind of like where Wayne's at right now. It's like I've had enough layers peeled back lately. It's like I'm just kind of happy where I'm at. So it's one of those things where layers just continually jump at us and you don't know when the next one is going to get peeled back.

Or add it on as Jim was saying earlier. It's something that I think you have to kind of start to move into your life where it's like okay whatever God has for me. I'm going to find some joy and I'm going to find some peace in it and I know that he's in it. That it's there for a reason. It's not just by chance. Like so many people say oh it's just by chance. It just so happens.

No nothing happens by chance. It's already going to happen. It's already there. God knows what it is. He's in control. And you're just so much happier and joyful and content when you allow him to lead.

Thanks Rodney. You know one of the things we make it be so complicated but it doesn't have to be. And that's been the layering for me in learning is to get to that contentment of oh I'm just going to let God do his thing. It's not just let go but it's like I'm going to move forward with what I think he's telling me to go do. And hey if he puts up a wall I'll turn and go a different direction. Go some other place. And it's like okay that's fine.

I'll go do that. One of the ways what you brought to mind Rodney was one of the ways he calls us out of the shadows is getting us out of our terminal uniqueness. You know nobody knows the trouble I've seen. And to realize hey other men struggle with this. Other men have gone through this. But we like to think that our troubles are our own.

And that's the lies of the enemy that have been layered on for years. Yeah you get most men you know that have struggled with pornography the enemy comes at them and says you know you're the only one that struggles with this. You can't let anyone know.

He tries to push you down in shame. But Andy there was a statistic you were telling me the other day about. You want to share that? Yeah so there was a kind of like a info graph that said there was several categories.

Phone, cell phone, internet and it was how long it took. Hold on don't mention the site though because I don't want to promote the site. Right okay.

It's a good point. How long it took to get 50 million users for those particular technologies or what? And there was a porn site. All these other ones it was like you know years. I can't remember all the stuff but it was years to where there was 50 million users of a telephone I think.

Or a cell phone or the various things and it was a lot. Some of them got it down to like you know three years. Three years for 50 million users on Facebook or something like that.

It was 19 days for the 50 million users for this one porn site. I mean it's just amazing. Right but yet the enemy tells men you're the only one that struggles. It doesn't make it okay because everybody else struggles but what you can say is okay this is a bigger problem than just me and God needs to come after that in me. But you know there's also men that have gotten past that right. There's people that have victory over it.

You know and there's no reason to live in this shame because I can get victory over it if I walk with Jesus through it. And you called it terminal uniqueness but one of the wonderful paradoxes of God is everybody is unique. Everybody is someone that relates to God in a unique way but we do have many things in common and some things not in common. And God loves to put people together both friends and husband and wife that are very different because if you can learn to work with the differences. I won't use the big word but you can have the one plus one equals three if you are covering each other's weaknesses. I know that word I'm just trying to think of what it is.

I used to teach on it ironically I can't remember. It's really cool the thing that you said that these layers occur you know I was thinking the other day I had this friend that I've had for 40 years now. And because we talk about the radio show topics come up and we share stuff about our life and layers are added to the depth of our friendship. And what I'm encouraging you to do this week is ask God to help you see the layers that he's been trying to strip back from you. The layers he's been trying to add on to you the layers of names the layers of praise the layers of love right and help him to help you to have the eyes to see that. Go to masculinejourney.org to register for the upcoming boot camp we'd love to see you there time's running short please register today we'll talk to you next week. When I heard the stories from the stage that the other men had and then during my prayer time I'm getting a download from God on where my life is and how I have wounds and I have a place in his story. To know how I heard from God is one of those things he really does communicate with us. Register today at masculinejourney.org. This is the Truth Network.