No Shame, No Worries [Part 1]

Pastor, author, and Bible teacher, Alan Wright.

You don't have to look very far, do you, for the world to give you some shame. It's like it's in the atmosphere. But when I show you today, that doesn't mean you have to breathe it in. That's Pastor Alan Wright. Welcome to another message of good news that will help you see your life in a whole new light. I'm Daniel Britt, excited for you to hear the teaching today in the series No Worries, as presented at Reynolda Church in North Carolina. If you're not able to stay with us throughout the entire program, I want to make sure you know how to get our special resource right now. It can be yours for your donation this month to Alan Wright Ministries. As you listen to today's message, go deeper as we send you today's special offer.

You can learn more about it. Contact us at PastorAlan.org. That's PastorAlan.org. Or call 877-544-4860.

That's 877-544-4860. More on all of this later in the program. But now, let's get started with today's teaching.

Here is Alan Wright. Are you ready for some good news? Though the whole world, the whole atmosphere seems full of shame and people say shame on you, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. Well, I'd be ashamed.

The gospel of Jesus Christ has something altogether different to say. Shame off you. In Jesus Christ, you can have the shame taken off of you.

We're in a series called No Worries, and we come today to one of the deepest sources of angst in the cosmos, maybe the greatest source of our anxiety, this idea of shame. And we pick up today reading from the earliest account of a man and a woman, Adam and Eve, in the Garden of Eden, in the second chapter of your Bible, Genesis chapter 2, beginning at verse 25. The last verse of Genesis chapter 2, we read, and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Now, the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden? And the woman said to the serpent, we may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that's in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.

But the serpent said to the woman, you'll not surely die, for God knows that when you eat of it, your eyes will be open and you'll be like God, knowing good and evil. So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that was a delight to the eyes and the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate and also gave some to her husband who was with her and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were open and they knew they were naked and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day. And the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, where are you? And he said, I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked and I hid myself. I was afraid because I was naked. So I hid myself.

Shame's all around us. I don't know where I came upon this years ago. I pull it out every so often. A lady wrote, the other day I went up to the local Christian bookstore where I saw a honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I'd come from a thrilling choir performance at church. So I bought that bumper sticker and put it on the back bumper of my car and I'm really glad that I did too. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light of a busy intersection just lost in thought about the Lord and didn't notice that the light had changed. It's a good thing someone else loved Jesus or I may have never noticed that the light had changed.

But then I found that lots of people love Jesus. Why the guy behind me started to honk like crazy and then he leaned out of his window and screamed for the love of God go, go Jesus Christ go. Everyone was honking so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love.

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw, you'll get it later, I saw another guy waving in a funny way with just his middle finger. I asked my teenage son what this meant and he said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well I've never even met a person from Hawaii so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My son burst into laughter.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience. A couple of people were so caught up in the joy the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended but that's when I noted that the light had changed and I waved one more time to my brothers and sisters in the Lord and drove through the intersection. I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again. Felt kind of bad that I had to leave them like that and all the love that we shared.

So I slowed down, leaned out the car and gave him the Hawaiian good luck sign for one more time. You don't have to look very far do you for the world to give you some shame. It's like it's in the atmosphere. But when I show you today that doesn't mean you have to breathe it in. Shame is essentially a diabolical lie that says as you are now you are not acceptable. You don't measure up and until you can measure up you can't be perfectly loved or accepted. So you better start trying to measure up. And the problem is who amongst us could ever measure up to any standard. And so what happens is that between the idea of what we're supposed to be what I ought to be and what I am there's a gap. And in that gap between what I ought to be and where I am now and how I feel like I need to measure up. But in that gap I think is where hell works to create maybe the greatest source of anxiety in the whole cosmos.

Because you're always wondering if I have to measure up in order to be accepted what happens if I can't measure up. And that's the way shame works. And what we see in today's primal story of the first man and woman is that as soon as sin came in the world shame came into the world and that shame immediately produced within them anxiety. If you could heal the shame the anxiety will go away. We often spend time trying to manage our worries and our angst.

But I think what God's inviting us into again today is an experience of His grace so rich that anxiety melts away on its own. Years ago before I really began learning much about shame a subject which would become a life message for me and be a source of a book and untold number of conferences around the nation. I remember I was actually away for a weekend with my wife and I was after a nice breakfast just reading the newspaper at this nice hotel and it was during a time that Saddam Hussein had been ousted and was finally though not captured it was finally believed by the Iraqi people that he was never going to be in leadership again that he was truly gone. And so people began to speak out and this particular article I was reading was about soccer players on the Iraqi national soccer team. It was stunning to me because they said that before every game Saddam's nephew I guess it was Uday Hussein would contact the team and threaten them with punishment if they should lose. The star of the team a national hero said I love to play soccer but I hated playing for Uday Hussein.

After important matches if they lost they were taken to something that was like a prison camp almost like you think of a concentration camp and they were variously punished including at times beaten severely. The star of the team said I thought many times about quitting but the Hussein's had threatened my family's well-being if I ever quit. And I was just reading about this story on the other side of the world about how how grievous it was and it made me sad to think of people playing soccer not for the fun of the game but because they were under such pressure. But something in me began to really grip me. I mean you ever had something like that like this is moving me more than what I would expect and I've learned over the years that sometimes that's the Holy Spirit teaching me something. And so I paused and I said Lord why am I so gripped by this I felt a deep grief about this and the Lord I believe showed me in that moment because Alan you've lived a lot of your life like that. And that was when I began to realize that shame was like a hidden tyrant somewhere down deep in my soul. It came maybe from the brokenness I experienced in my family from the time I was in fourth grade the alcohol abuse it was in our family the shame that I experienced about that nobody ever said Alan unless you perform well you're not gonna be loved nobody ever said that and and by most measures I received a lot of love but there was something inside of me that was driving me and I stopped and I said am I living my life am I am I striving hard am I working hard am I am I serving the Lord even because of the love of the game or because there's some other pressure that's there and that's when I realized that it was something that was driving me and it wasn't healthy and I began to learn about shame.

That's Alan Wright and we'll have more teaching in a moment from today's important series. Can you imagine what it would be like to be accepted perfectly? Envision it. Being free to be yourself with no fear of rejection. If you mess up people don't roll their eyes make fun of you or love you less.

Imagine no more of that anxious feeling that you get deep down in your gut that makes you feel like the pressure is always on so you can never really relax. What you're imagining and longing for is a life with no shame. In paradise before sin came into the world the Bible tells us only one thing about Adam and Eve's relationship.

They were naked and felt no shame. Ever since the fall the human heart has been riddled with shame. It's a lie that says until you measure up you can't be truly acceptable. Shame causes some to say I'll try to be perfect in order to be accepted and others to decide since I'll never measure up I might as well rebel.

Either way the heart is poisoned by shame and there is only one antidote. The grace of God in Jesus Christ. In his highly acclaimed book Free Yourself Be Yourself Pastor Alan Wright not only exposes the lies of shame he leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your soul. Discover freedom joy and destiny as you shed performance-based living and let God take the shame off you for good. It's a life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright.

Free yourself be yourself. Call us at 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860 or come to our website PastorAlan.org. Today's teaching now continues. Here once again is Alan Wright. One of the things that I think is important for all of us to do I did many many years ago I'm talking about now and I took an honest self inventory to think well what is what is it that's producing some of the things I don't like about myself here were a few I took a self inventory and I realized that I was overly sensitive if somebody said something critical to me it bothered me too much I might think about it for a long time and I even like if if even when I was serving the ministry and it could be hundreds of people walk out and say something about how the Lord used that message for them and then somebody sent me one critical note and I find myself brooding up and I'm like why am I why am I paying so much attention and feeling so sensitive what is that inside of me I didn't like that it wasn't just that but I would sometimes mistake remarks as a criticism I was I laugh with my wife about it now but it's like it was rough on our marriage because she might say Alan the garbage needs to go out which was my job but she say the trash needs to go out and something inside my mind filtered it into and if you were a better husband you'd already taken it out by now you know I interpreted it through the filter of shame and so it came across as a criticism when it really was just her saying trappings to go out and it's a hard way to live if you're always filtering things in such a way that you're either sensitive to it or it pushes some button inside of you I didn't like that I found in myself inventory I was I was too driven to do more we look back and laugh about it now but our first church when we got there they had 117 on the roll we couldn't find them all they're only about 50 of them and I get in there I'm working 60 hours a week my wife's looking at me what are you doing she said you you got a small little church here and and I never even see you well I was just I was so driven I was gonna be the perfect pastor I was gonna make sure I was absolutely driven perfect to do everything why was I all why to always have to do more and I had a really hard time ever really resting I found out in this self-inventory that I had to admit to myself a hard time saying no what was it about I didn't understand at that time anything about boundaries or or I what but why I knew this it was real hard for me to ever say no to something and listen beloved if you can't say no to the things that God hasn't called you to do how can you say yes to the things he has called you to do I didn't understand about that and and and even when God was blessing and using me there was a little part of me that just felt like an imposter where those imposter feelings come from it was like there was this hidden dictator in my unconscious being that was dictating a lot of things in my life there's so much under the surface in our souls that is determining how we think and how we live and I did not want to go through my whole life just trying to manage all of that I wanted to get at the root it's worth it if you identify with any of those things it's worth it I wanted to change and so I started learning about this and how the grace of God could set us free when I first began studying I was so taken by this there's only one thing that we know about a relationship in paradise only one thing that the Lord and all the scripture chose to tell us about Adam and Eve before sin had ever entered the world only one sentence Genesis 2 verse 25 and the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed there was zero shame in paradise that's what paradise is the place where there is no shame zero pressure to perform it just is almost hard to imagine we don't know what Adam and Eve did all day long they we don't know all that their conversation wish wish that we did but what this means is that when there's no shame that when Eve would say Adam how do I look and he said bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she didn't take that to mean your bony or maybe a little too fleshy she just took it as the compliment that it was it means that when Adam said how do you like my row of carrots that I've been sowing in the ground and how they're growing and she said nice it meant that he didn't walk away from it and say well why did she say nice why didn't she say great why didn't she say spectacular why did she just say nice maybe she doesn't think I'm that good after all there was none of that there were no billboards or commercials that were posturing pictures of women for Adam to compare Eve to she never felt any pressure Adam never had Eve bring up to her some flaw of his that made him feel like he was less of a man it was just a place of paradise because there was no shame if you've ever tasted a moment where there is no shame you know it is heavenly and I at the end of the sabbatical we were given so graciously this summer we I took two weeks off from writing about ten days of travel and Anne and I just traveled up into Vermont and drove all the way up into Canada and we never said to each other hey listen we got ten days together let's just make sure we don't do anything to shame each other let's just enjoy we just both went and go you know this is a gift from God let's just enjoy this and so as it was it was really a wonderful wonderful almost felt like another honeymoon and and it was just sort of a unwritten rule that right now we're not we're not we're not working on trying to correct anything in the other you know we're just so even when I drove into Canada and had not prepared adequately to know that the GPS how it was supposed to work and it didn't work and instead it pointed us and some back roads and we got lost on the way to Quebec and we're in French-speaking area and rural areas and with no map even then and didn't say well why didn't you figure this out better that's your job we just finally figured out a way to look on the phone and see a map and found our way even when we were outside eating an old Quebec City at a fondue restaurant on that beautiful evening and I ate all the chocolate fondue myself she didn't say are you sure you're gonna eat that entire pot of fondue we just let it go you know just it's just so sweet if you could just be in an environment where nobody's judging you condemning you pressuring you or shaming you in any way we get little fleeting moments of it I wish it could last it made me think back to our honeymoon honeymoon as much as any time in life is a time where there's no pressure on you nobody calls you up on your honeymoon it says have you been doing any work this week have you gotten that project done nobody will ever bother you on your honeymoon and you have just said I do and she said I do and you're just fresh in this covenant of love and a honeymoon oh it was just wonderful we courtesy of the price is right that's another story flew out to New Orleans and for the first time in my life we stayed in a nice hotel I've stayed in a lot of motel sixes in my life and camped but this was the Sheraton in the French Quarter of New Orleans and we rented a car I think it was the first time I'd ever rented a car pulled up to the fancy hotel never had I had valet parking before I didn't know what to do I didn't know who to tip I didn't know how to act and it was obvious and I looked like a kid and I remember the valet attendant just looking down at the two of us and with this little smile saying honeymoons honeymooners and I'm like yes and I felt a shame that I was so naive we went up to the to the room and it was the first time they had just recently come out with these magnetic keys that you now see even in the cheapest hotels but it was only the fancy ones and I didn't know how to work it I wanted to just carry her across the threshold but I was just struggling to get into the room we came back to the room after a lovely dinner one night and there was some sounds and music or something voices playing in the room and I thought Ann said there's somebody in the room and so I was nervous as could be and I said bravely went on in to see who was in the room nobody was there but obviously the room had been disturbed something had happened to the bed the TV was playing and she said call downstairs tell them that I picked up the phone I called I said someone has been in our room and as I was talking to the front desk clerk I looked on the pillows and saw chocolate mints and thought why would a thief put chocolate mints on our pillows.

Alan Wright no shame no worries it's part of today's teaching today in that series no worries Alan is back with us here in the studio sharing a parting good news thought for the day in just a moment. Can you imagine what it would be like to be accepted perfectly? Envision it being free to be yourself with no fear of rejection if you mess up people don't roll their eyes make fun of you or love you less. In his highly acclaimed book free yourself be yourself Pastor Alan Wright not only exposes the lies of shame he leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your soul. Discover freedom joy and destiny as you shed performance-based living and let God take the shame off you for good.

It's a life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright free yourself be yourself. The gospel is shared when you give to Alan Wright Ministries. This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you give today we will send you today's special offer. We are happy to send this to you as our thanks from Alan Wright Ministries.

Call us at 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860 or come to our website PastorAlan.org. Back here in the studio with Alan Wright and no shame no worries Alan you go first it sounds like you are sharing some personal experiences today. That was a funny time you know it's so interesting how close shame lies at hand even in the moments that should be the most shame-free and the most blissful all shame is crouching at the door where sin came in the world shame was immediately there. This is of course Daniel something that we speak about often and have many many resources for yourself be yourself resources the books and CDs and videos workbook that explain that shame is essentially a lie that says you don't measure up as you are now and you need to figure out what's wrong and improve it if you're going to be ultimately accepted and I have contended and still believe that gap between what I feel like I am and what I feel like I ought to be and that gap is probably the greatest source of anxiety in the universe. To heal anxiety we need to heal the shame and we can by the grace of God. Today's good news message is a listener supported production of Alan Wright Ministries.