Why It’s Important to Honor Others

You are an image bearer of Almighty God, and you have automatic intrinsic value. Your value comes from God, not me. Your value comes from God, not your spouse, not your children, not your parents, not your pastor, not your co-workers.

That is such a great description of Genesis 1 27, which says we're all made in the image of God. We're going to hear more about what that really means with our guest, Pastor Ted Cunningham. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family.

I'm John Fuller, and your host is Focus President and author, Jim Daly. John, January is the month that we celebrate the sanctity of human life from cradle to grave, and today's message from Pastor Ted fits right into that theme. The reason the sanctity of human life is important to us is because it's important to God. Each of us are created in His image.

We are image bearers of the Almighty, and applying that knowledge to life and death questions like abortion and euthanasia is very illuminating. Recently, Pastor Ted spoke to our staff on this very topic in his typical humorous and engaging style. Ted is an author, comedian, and the founding pastor of Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, Missouri. And here now is Ted Cunningham on today's Focus on the Family. Well it is great to be back. I just, I want to start by saying thank you for trusting me to do date nights around the country on behalf of Focus on the Family. And I want to share with you my favorite joke from these events because it came to me from an 86-year-old missionary at our church.

Pat Kershaw served for over 60 years with International Students Incorporated here in Colorado Springs. And I was actually working on a chapter in the book A Love That Laughs, chapter 3, where I'm helping couples find their shared sense of humor. And I meet with Pat about once a month at Panera Bread for Coffee. And I was working on it when she came in and she calls me preacher boy sometimes. So she asked me, what are you working on? I said, I'm just helping couples find their shared sense of humor. And she said, what do you mean? I said, well, too many people try to be funny and they're not funny.

Do you know what I'm talking about? And so instead of trying to be funny, they should just look for funny because funny is all around us. Humor is everywhere and really just call it out. And I made the mistake of asking Pat, have you seen anything funny lately? I asked my 86-year-old senior member of the church, have you seen anything funny lately? And she goes, I saw it just yesterday while getting my mammogram up in Springfield. Now every pastor needs a good mammogram story from a senior member.

I said, Pat, what was funny up in Springfield? She said, well, you know, it's at Mercy Hospital and the nuns, they got verses all up and down the hallways. Ted, what verse do you think they have hanging on the mammogram machine at Mercy Hospital?

I said, I have absolutely no idea. She said, 2 Corinthians 4, 8, for we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed. That's the whole verse. And I went to Dallas Seminary where we learned that is a verse out of context. Can I get an amen on that one? So I love when people visit our church in Branson after they hear me share that on the road and they're like, we want to meet Pat. That's the only joke she's got.

I got to be real honest with you, but it is a good one. I love encouraging couples with humor and families with humor and our church with humor, but there's a word I want to give today. And it's one word that changes the way I value my spouse. It changes the way I value my children, my parents. It changes the way I value coworkers, changes the way I look at strangers.

I meet on the street. It changes the way I view people that don't look like me, talk like me, and that don't vote like me. It changes the way I view people of the opposite party.

It changes it. Now I would even say it flies straight in the face of the hostility that we've been experiencing a little bit in our country and our world and even in our church over the last couple of years. And the word is simply honor. I love the word honor. Honor means to esteem as highly valuable.

And I want to look at this word three ways. First, I want to explore it from the scripture, and then I want to challenge all of us. And this is a challenging message for me because I know how I tend to value people and how I tend to look at people. But I want to look at them through the eyes of God. I want to see them as image bearers of Almighty God. And so I want to be challenged in my thinking and in my heart with this word.

But then I want to get very practical and give you four ways that you can show honor to the people in your family, to the people you meet on the street, to the people in your church, to your co-workers all along the way. I want to start in Genesis 1 27. This passage is where we start at our church, Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson.

We start with this passage whether we're talking about abortion, immigration, racial reconciliation, divorce, adoption, fostering. It all starts for us with the image of God in man. The Imago Dei, Genesis 1 27 reads, so God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them.

Male and female, he created them. So even when we talk about sex, sexuality, gender, sexual orientation, it starts for us with Genesis 1 27, the Imago Dei. We see every human being as personally autographed by God and highly valuable. Gary Smalley put it this way, honor is a decision we make to place high value, worth and importance on another person.

Whether we realize it or not, the value we attach to God, our children and ourselves greatly determines the success or failure of our relationships. Now here's the cool thing about honor, it's the most important thing we can learn about honor today before we get practical. Honor recognizes value, it does not set value. When I honor you, I am calling out the value in your life, I'm not determining it. You know what that means? There's nothing I can say or do that adds to or takes away from your value. Nothing. I can't add anything to it and I can't take anything away from it.

All I can do is recognize it and call it out. I don't know why this word sometimes gets me emotional because right now is the moment that I would want to tell you a joke. And my wife would be sitting down there going, don't you do it. Don't you sit in this Ted. She says my number one flaw as a pastor and speaker is that I love to bail people out. Like when we're sitting in it and some stuff we need to be challenged with. To me the joke is the great escape and all God's people said, no half of you went no don't you do it.

Look at I just did it. I can't, I can't, this word gets me emotional because you know what someone's listening to the broadcast right now who feels worthless they've been told that by a parent they've been told that by a spouse and for years and years and years and they're driving right now they're at work they're at home they feel worthless and I just want to remind that listener that is a feeling not the truth. Ryan Pannell one of the therapists at Hope Restored with Focus on the Family. I love what he says about feelings because too often in the church we like to stuff our feelings we like to tell people don't pay attention to feelings. Ryan's got the best quote on feelings I've ever heard he said feelings are like our children we should listen to them we should care for them but we should not allow them to make major decisions for our family. So if you're feeling worthless right now guess what that is a feeling don't allow that to make major decisions for your life because the truth is you are an image bearer of almighty God and you have automatic intrinsic value your value comes from God not me your value comes from God not your spouse not your children not your parents not your pastor not your co-workers not strangers you meet on the street your value is not based on another's thoughts feelings words or actions and if I can just say it another way your value is not based on your thoughts feelings words and actions God determined your value by creating you in his image every single human being is created in the image of God and has automatic intrinsic value it's what I love about Focus on the Family it's why all the great work that you're doing and around the the pro-life movement you see every child in the womb and outside of the womb as an image bearer of almighty God created in the image of God you see we tend to value people and I'll put myself in this this is why I need to be challenged with this message we tend to value people based on their age we value people based on their job why do you think when after you meet someone one of the follow-up questions first follow-up questions is what what do you do we like to ask what do you do so I can then figure out how long this conversation is going to last we value people based on status and income race nationality political party behavior abilities disabilities intelligence sexual orientation and I think there's another important thing to say about honor I do not need to agree with your decisions I do not need to agree with your lifestyle choices to see you as someone who is created in the image of God you're an image bearer of almighty God now it's important because this always we have to talk about the difference between the image of God and being a child of God so through creation you bear the image of God but it's through salvation faith alone in Christ alone that you become a child of God let me say that again through creation I bear the image of God but through faith alone in Christ alone I become a child of God sin it marred the image of God and man but it did not remove it Jesus died for my sins and so I want to encourage us as we walk through this and we talk about honor and give some very practical ways I love getting into the practical ways because we can talk about this all day long but how do we live it out how do we walk it out in our family and in the workplace and even with strangers even with people that we don't agree with even with people at the opposite party because how I think about people and how I treat people that matters to God it matters to God and it's easy to honor those who think like me believe like me and vote like me what did Jesus say in Matthew 5 46 to 47 if you love those who love you what reward will you get are not even the tax collectors doing that and if you greet only your own people what are you doing more than others do not even pagans do that in other words there's no skill needed to love an easy to love person there's no skill needed to honor someone who's being nice to you so how do you live this out practically let me give you four ways that you can affirm another's value another's high value with words and the very first one it's my favorite and it's changed my life over the last 18 years I've been practicing this for 18 years after Gary handed it to me but the first thing I want to encourage you to do is write it write it down I walked into Gary Smolley's office and he was working on something and it was four pieces of paper stapled together and across the top it said all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable and I said Gary what is this he goes well it's an honor list I go what do you what do you do with this he said well I've been keeping track of all the reasons why Norma is highly valuable because right confirmation bias teaches us we make decisions and then we look for the evidence to back them up he said this is all of the decisions they're all the decisions that I have made about Norma and I like to be reminded of her value he said after we get into a fight we get into conflict I come back in here and I grab this list he said and it's not the time to edit he said I don't walk in and pick it up and look at it and be like that's not true no he said no I I am reminded and if you knew Gary personally you know he's a pretty emotional guy he said I usually don't have to get off the first page before the tears start flowing and I'm reminded of her value and I go back to her just in a different posture he said Ted do you have a list for Amy I said I don't he goes get it started and this is my well-worn list I travel with it but it's all the reasons why I've been writing them down what I love about Amy how I have fun with Amy but it's all the reasons why she's valuable and it's kind of a personal list so some of you may be able to take some of ours and tweak it for you but it it's really understanding how my wife is an image bearer how God created her in her personality and everything I love it and I saw I've written it down and my very first one is I love your all or nothing passion my wife is a very passionate woman everything is passion coming out of that woman raise your hand if you're married to a strong woman let me just see your hands I always love how slow that goes you want me to raise my hand right now I don't care how you answer that question how you answer the next question you more how many of you love being married to a strong woman I love being married to a strong woman she is passionate I can come home from a bad day at church like it was a rough day at church he's like fine let's quit move to Africa be missionaries full-time wow that escalated real fast I think we should sleep on it and definitely pray about it before we go and she's passionate about her walking she walks me and the dogs every night before sunset and I mean everything there's no strolling there's zero strolling in our home everywhere we're getting to where we're going and she'll ask me she goes hey you're squeezing your cheeks together hey listen I'm 47 and a half I don't need and I grew up Baptist they're always square we're good you don't ever have to worry about it but she's a passionate woman everything she does is passion and we call them in our home these grand declarations and she'll just make a decision she's really good at making these decisions she's got an honor list for me as well but I thought that'd be weird me sharing all the honorable things she says about me so I'll just share hers she's chill she'll make these grand proclamations in our home and she'll be like here's what we're gonna do and it's like well and like marching orders we're doing it I love that passion I call it out I love your disdain for directions no lie you love letting me lead like when we go through airports as a family I'm in charge because Amy loves to be like she doesn't want to think about gates and times and and boarding and all she doesn't want to think about any of that she's traveling today with her father and going through airports and I get nervous I'm like are you okay are you gonna get there and she's like when you're not around I'm fine but she goes I love kicking it in neutral I love your disdain for directions you love letting me lead you couldn't care less how we're getting there or when we're getting there while driving at our airports you pay no attention to signs because you completely trust me getting you there this one I added a few years ago because I noticed that I love your two love languages she has two love languages acts of service and quality time which means I serve her for long periods of time and in the middle of that is that decluttering love language she lives by a pitch pitch pitch get rid of it we don't need it I put in here I love your silent patriotic laugh when my wife finds something funny she places her hand over her heart she leans forward and nothing comes out we went to see a comedian years ago who did like a 15-minute bid on a colonoscopy and for 15 minutes she didn't breathe she just sat there and my goal listen this is this I think that and then we're only on like number four on this list and this is pages long but my goal is her husband is to get her to laugh every day my goal is to get that silent patriotic laugh I almost get it every day but sometimes I'll get just a chuckle the other day we're in the grocery store and I'm not a big fan of shopping so I'm constantly looking for ways to bring out the humor in these miserable grocery shopping experiences and sometimes she'll send me over two aisles hey run over and get something I was walking over to another aisle and I came across coca-cola has a new 15-pack I don't know if you've seen it it's a 15-pack of coca-cola a third of the box is this big white stripe and I kid you not it says 15-pack three cans more than a 12-pack I grabbed it I take it over it's worth it for me to walk two aisles for something we ain't gonna buy just to show Amy I didn't get the silent patriotic laugh but I did did get a huh that's enough for me I go no and then I'm milking it even more I'm like no remember when your math teacher said show your work coca-cola is showing their work for all the people who were raised on new math frustrated right call it out I'm going for that silent patriotic laugh I want to see that in her I love this is one of my favorite I'm just gonna skip through the list a little bit but I hope as you're listening you're considering the list pull your notepad out on your phone or your iPad and before you get home then I jot down five reasons why your spouse is highly valuable jot down reasons why your children are highly valuable we don't give our kids birthday cards anymore we give them an honor list and it has an that whatever age they are a daughter just turned 18 she got 18 reasons why she's highly valuable on her list it's gonna save you money on cards and it's gonna mean a lot more this is one of my favorite I said I love how you prioritize our marriage you've eradicated the kids centered home and you place our marriage first date nights are important to you and you model a great marriage for our kids I have some personal things in here on how she loves our son and the way in which she shows that how she loves our daughter and the way in which she shows that I love your commitment to Christ you are sensitive to the Lord's leadership in your life I love your spontaneity with two to three days notice you cut loose and go with the flow my favorite line is when you tell me just call me Flo can I tell you every marriage every family every relationship has these dynamics I there are some personal ones on here that I'm not sharing with you but it's our honorless she has one for me I have one for write it down write these words down call out what you see in someone else but please don't stop there gift it we're used to giving Hallmark cards and gifts at birthdays and anniversaries and special occasions I'm here to tell you an honor list is one of the best gifts you can give someone Proverbs 22 one says a good name is more desirable than great riches to be esteemed is better than gold or silver and I saw that play out the first time we gave an honor list to my mom when she turned 64 years old and you know my parents are at that age now in their 70s they don't want any more stuff I don't want more stuff every time I leave my parents house I leave with a box of stuff this is a true story I'll be like mom this is your blender you have your blender in here I'm done cooking right that's kind of where they are in life but you know what she'll never get enough of what I'm called to do until she or I draws our final breath and that is honor I asked all the family I conspired against her on her 64th birthday I asked my dad my kids everybody to write an honor list for pamabani and we went out to a nice meal at the end of the meal in between the entree and dessert I invited everyone to take out their honor list my mom didn't see it coming and it hit her like a train and I and she goes what's going on I said I've asked everybody to write down all the reasons why you're highly valuable and we're just gonna go around the table and share it listen we didn't get to the first line on the first list before my mom went you know I hate it when you do this day like but that's honor we are she couldn't hold it together around the table because you know why honor a good name more desirable than great riches to be esteemed better than gold or silver I love to do this at birthday parties I'm invited to if I can tell there's no plan or no structure to the evening I'll ask whoever's hosting the party do you mind if we do an honor bombardment what do you mean we're just gonna go around for birthday boy or birthday girl and everybody's gonna speak one word of high value over this person maybe share a story or a line or two I'll write it down I'll text it to you at the end of the night we do this at our staff meetings I love to grab just a cup piece of paper write everybody's name down that's in the meeting tear it off put it in the cup shake it up pull one name out one name out and we go around as a staff and everyone honor bombards that person write it down but gift it and even better than that I have found write it gift it number three speak it out loud can I tell you let me tell you one of the best ways to teach your children to honor God others and you is to honor each other let them see you practice honor but one of the best ways to show that to model that is with each other and so I don't just give this to Amy I don't just write it down about Amy I don't just gift it to Amy but I make sure my children are present and I will read these words out loud in front of my kids I want them to see how important this is why Proverbs 18 21 says the tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit when we speak words of high value into people when we speak words of high value over people when we're speaking these words to people reminding them not setting but reminding them of their value it's so life giving if you want to raise kids who know how to honor people in the image of God and man and see people as autographed by God and highly valuable then let them see you treat people that way in the home in the workplace to strangers on the street would you pray with me father first and foremost I pray for the one right now that's listening that is an image bearer but is not a child of God that today would be the day of their salvation that they would repent of their sins that they would confess that Jesus is Lord believe that he has been raised from the dead that they would be saved and that through creation they are image bearer and through salvation they become a child of God thank you for focus on the family and the work they're doing here to lift up the imago day and go straight into culture with it honoring people honoring the unborn honoring couples give them the ministry of honor in all that they do and all that they stand for and we pray this in the authority of the name of Jesus and everyone agreed and said amen love you thank you for allowing me to share this pastor Ted Cunningham speaking to the focus on the family staff at a recent chapel gathering John I so appreciate Ted's message this is foundational stuff it's Christianity 101 and it's definitely something that we should be teaching our children especially in a world that is so polarized on a variety of issues we need to remember that every person is made in the image of God whether we agree with them or not and I'd highly recommend that you discuss this content with your family and get the CD of this presentation from Ted or watch it on the YouTube channel let me also encourage you to visit us online and learn more about our live it challenge it's a series of free resources and fun project ideas that will help your family learn more about our faith and more importantly how to live it out you know our surveys tell us that over the past year over 1 million people said that focus on the family help them influence their communities for Christ that's a huge number and we are honored to participate in the Lord's plan to spread the gospel far and wide but as a non-profit ministry we need your help we rely on your contributions to fuel these efforts so please consider donating to focus on the family today and when you make a donation of any amount we'll send you a CD of this message from Ted Cunningham as our way of saying thank you yeah our number is 800 the letter a in the word family eight hundred two three two six four five nine or you can donate online and request that CD you'll find the links in the episode notes and when you're online with us be sure to look for the link to the live it challenge and we'll also post some articles and how to get more involved in pro-life efforts well next time dr. David Clark explains how to save a marriage that is headed toward divorce so you're in a situation like that with your marriage it seems impossible there's just no way out look what's happening it's been years like this and Satan is pushing you're done God may not be done and it's not going to be done with that marriage there's always a chance with God's help on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here thanks for joining us for this focus on the family podcast take a moment and leave a rating for us in the app or share about this episode with a friend it's worth listening to again I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ I'm here asking people how they could both give and get I don't know maybe love yeah you could both give and get love true but it's also possible with a charitable gift annuity you get a secure source of fixed income and a charitable tax deduction plus giving a charitable gift annuity to focus on the family helps families thrive for generations to come I love that find out more go to focus planned giving.com that's focus planned giving.com