Share This Episode
Family Life Today Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine Logo

Intimacy From the Depths

Family Life Today / Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine
The Truth Network Radio
June 23, 2021 2:00 am

Intimacy From the Depths

Family Life Today / Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 628 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.

June 23, 2021 2:00 am

Developing deeper love in marriage doesn't just happen on its own, but David and Meg Robbins encourage us that it is possible!

Show Notes and Resources

Register for the drawing to win a spot on our Love Like You Mean It Cruise 

Love Like You Mean it Cruise sale:

Find resources from this podcast at

Download FamilyLife's new app!

Check out all that's available on the FamilyLife Podcast Network.


More hours under this roof together, linked together at home, meeting. Any together a lot is that I think we both realized all together is not equal one hours together does not mean were connecting deeply welcome to family life today where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson and Dave Wilson and you can find or on our family life. This is family life today so were back on the boat in the Caribbean. Now we are well sorta virtual. It's the love like you made a virtual cruise we get to listen to a message from our president David Robbins and his wife Meg, which was given again. It was a virtual cruise. We didn't get to go out on the boat because a covert but we get to sit in our homes and thousands of couples did this it actually ended up being a great cruise is really fun. That was really fun and so we have messages that were given virtually and by the way we are going on a boat next year 2022, February 6 to the 13th. We will be on the water.

We want you to join us and if you sign up now before June 28 you get a great deal so I would say sign up immediately. That thing will sell out, go to family life and you barely see some of the promotions we have going on just pretty good stuff. So today we get to listen to David and Meg talk about going deeper deep. Yeah it really applies to the year we've gone through.

You would think that being under one roof and probably spending more time together than most of us have spent together as a couple really just the best marriages right now, but they talk about how it can be really hard to go really intimately and be fully known yet. So here's David O, the seas will come closer place. Robbins is our home and so we are so here we will hold all portable now this was almost 20 years ago on memory place, a place that we became a team and so many cool things in our life listing how that actually happened. Wilderness time.

In some ways it was really hard things we process and experience life in a different country and think how God will serve as a miscarriage of our firstborn, there is a pretty dramatic experience to say the least. Ministry really became duty forming first season there with the Lord of calling this. This is hard, so I so it's amazing the layers of our relationship with the Lord layers of deeper intimacy with one another. In Italy it was hard to go, man. It was so worth it. I can imagine our relationship without that is, it was really important season in our lives, and especially now as we go into deeper layers of intimacy together. It's hard but it's always worth things that we hard together beautiful thing under this probably together is I think we both realized all together hours together does not mean were connecting deeply anything when we got really doing this summer working drifting nationally totally separate and national connectedness that we long for.

We typically gather when we talk about that a lot pursue reminders of the moment where we were really getting the place going. This is an okay settle for this. This continuing process and it will like onion again which nothing to do. Probably for joining staff and going through a seminary class. In this analogy of this fund in the seminary professor told was like that is growing closer to God and growing closer to one another in such a beautiful analogy and three different types of loves their Leo love which is brotherly love or emotional connection. There's arrows love dispassionate and that type of love is unconditional love.

Love comes from above.

Unable to do on our own and our lives are like onion, we get three layers of each other's lives were going to the layers of one of those lies, and there's that easy connection Leo and there's arrows in the passion is those layers that you go oh this way were operating as a going to get us to this layer. This layer requires the day supernatural Jesus inspired love in order to love through and those layers, you know, our lives as they keep growing. God knows the depths of our hearts, but we don't and we we keep growing ourselves and we keep growing as a couple and I keep learning more about that is, different layers in both of our lives like okay this is the this is a moment or is required us to research more. And really, you know, trust him again with agape type of love and the beautiful thing that we keep finding that we are getting this firstfruits of again is that when you go through those layers that require agape love only other side of it is deeper emotional connection. Leo love arrows you know type of love for connection to the Lord for just a small level connection without really thinking request to encounter.

The last man is comforting the professional grade fear into well, a lot like the one we need anything pretense, self-righteousness, and 45 for any difficulty we encourage deeper and greater advantage and greater is the Lord takes courage to peel back the layers and also let so three ways that we can actually pursue that that those layers are like which I'm sure you get some degree this past year is Valentine's Day that is unique and you go. I don't know where you celebrate like losing your home and you're not out in fancier here with us pursue this pursue these deeper types of intimacy with the Lord and with one another. The first one is on the first pathway would be embracing and fully known by God in deeper ways. It is injuring the deeper parts of your own story with the Lord. Psalm 139 is is one of those verses that your David goes on and on other security we have in us being fully known by the Lord to send behind before he knows our deepest parts of our lives. We were created in arm and her mother's womb, indexes, and that is his thoughts are too fast for us and then as it reflects all the things he gets to the end of that song in verse 23 Psalm 139, says Sergio God, and know my heart try me and know my thoughts and see if there's any previous ways in me and leave me in the way of everlasting security of knowing God. You know everything already. You know fully everything about that you know fully everything about me out of that place of knowing all that okay Lord in that security knowing you love me search. I offer myself up to your new whatever's happening in my life without offer myself up to surrendering into those deeper places with you so you can lead me in the way of everlasting. We've been reading this year really our favorite book of 2020, which is gentle and lowly by Dana Portland" lots of Puritans and throughout the book, and he quotes John Bunyan really and John Bunyan's really talking about how we tend to deflect Christ assurances in his says we often say no, wait, God, you don't understand really messed up in all kinds of ways in Christ responds I don't but but but you know you will. Most of it. Sure, certainly more than others see. But there's there's perversity down inside of me that is from everyone in Christ says I know it all and we respond well the thing is, it is just my passage my presence to in Christ says I understand, but I don't know if I can break free of all this anytime soon and Jesus bonds. That's the only kind of person I'm here to help. The burn is heavy and heavier all the time. And Jesus response then let me carry it is too much for me in Christ responds, not for me. You don't get my offenses are directed toward others. There is you, then on the only one most suited to forgive but the more of the ugliness in the you discover the sooner you can get it up with me in Christ responds. Whoever comes to me I will never cast out, and Bunyan concludes this promise was provided to answer all objections and it does answer them a rocksolid promise of the gospel beautifully. 838 38 Sheridan either your life, nor angels, nor rulers things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the left guy in Christ Jesus our Lord is enormous promise and disappointment and fears no doubt policies as listed. Nothing can separate Christ personally experienced this class that I was thinking back to you the lost team again. He says to Jack to predecease several years ago.

Over the course of years, and it was hard.

It was really painful. I really I experienced a lot questioning really strong Christian who believed in the Lord from a young age and shut down and starting to feel and sense that doubt was creeping and guidance and kindness and lacking to be for the rest of my and I'm starting to feel a lot of shame and guilt around hard time being honest with the Lord sedated.

I and the Lord just sort of slightly windy and help messages realize okay can you bring the knives and aches and take hard questions and wrestle with the Lord, the more intimacy I experienced the tree and being fully seen in wrestling. Knowing and experiencing the only left me became peel back the layers and the heart is tricky with the Lord because he is Artie been advised in my experience that the Lord to process we started to experience more because I was able to say hi at first because I never was an opportunity for me to experience the Lord more and and and also began to crack that door and then later when that leads to our second point is the pursuit deeper and deeper layers of intimacy with one another. River starts with letting go into those places with the Lord.

And as we do.

There is that next step of faith up how much do I live in my stocks you know we all can I have those decisions to make up to what extent enemy. We delight in would be fully known and fully lovely say with our mouth, but as life goes on as we get in Russ as something surprises like doubts that the servicer life. Keep going in and being fully known with their spouses in full experience being fully loved and in the ways it Christ empowers us to be in those deeper places in the second point is simple yet it's true. We have to invite our spouses into those fully known and fully loved layers.article he knows and loves them and we invite our spouses into those places to disclose the deeper unknown places that are becoming known so that we can grow together as intimacy continues to cultivate Ephesians 42 and three says be completely humble and gentle big patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace and implied in a marriage. We are wired to bear with one another in love and agape love in the hard layers in our lives we are made to to unity in the spirit the same spirit as an magazine spirit to me. We are wired in order to to have intimacy with the same spirit so that there would be a bond of peace and peace doesn't mean there's not tumultuous things happen in our lives, but there is a piece of being in God's presence with us and experience that in that together when this thread as we invite the person even more coming to terms with not read my mind. In wrestling with this thing in my heart. The Lord certainly he can't scale how we were drifting apart a little bit because we were together all the time I started work when we were getting married, rather he was already married you daily to dissenting your senior year and you just did the dishes and he said he did the dishes now say simple to. I think sometimes we assume were here were together was the one that you equal knowing everything without me saying actually do the dishes are hurting or disappointed or joyful and asked about something. Learning to you invite not taking that risk in taking a loss in the heart down in writing and seamless really going on through this year and through the realities the pandemic. I realized in a new them and got a deeper way. How when I'm under stress, heart. I close up some and I just start auctioning through life. It makes it harder for me to ask for help and we all have her own tendency some of us emotionally vomit your lightweight how do I present this element by my spouse in a healthy way for me over this last year really was around.

I just start skimming through life and are really going to deeper places.

Do I make space for mechanized to go to places together.

Do I invite her into the places and for me as I looked into it and dug into this layer of what's going on and why is this driftwood isolation happening.

It was part self-reliance where under stress mode. I just get self-reliant and a really unhealthy.

What they sometimes the other side of it was a narrative I was fixable you know going in my head going.

I want to add more stress to Meg my goodness she's on the teach the kids and get from that scenario and she is she's not done that.

So we were moving those silly things going on. I don't want to burden her more about making that small decision up. I'm not going to invite her in to the places that I was really struggling and anxious thoughts were overwhelming. It did lead to that separation, where we had to have ongoing moments, not just one huge moment, moment where you go is right. How do we get here. Oh yeah pandemic alleged don't excuse it was I would pursue one another and in that as I begin to declare the note is one thing to be someone that knows how to tell the story going on in your life. It's another thing to for Meg to go so what do you need help just a question. You know, articulate man struggling this way, here's what I'm anxious about but in this you know what you need and it goes back to you as a spouse asking that question. All of a sudden do I know okay yeah II need you to to help me in this way, or I need time away in order process with the Lord whatever those things are. We get to and intimacy grow together in that place but you gotta let you choose to let our spouses, which is so simple and it's like 101 stuff as life takes its course which this year certainly like a stake in its course. Grace allows us to invite our spouses in without having shame and go into those places and invite them into those places. I was just thinking about how the first plane at the fully known and fully loved the Lord really helps us believe in the reading and grace that allows us invite and then 1/3 pain that we would pursue our spouse to fully man down and lavished and secondly it is more about inviting us to taking steps to pursue the heart of your spouse and the deeper spaces and their spouses heart and in life and perceiving places because of his great lavished (this is possible and allow their silly versus on God (a cause célèbre and didn't quickly read at the John 1334 says I need the name and I get to you that you love one another, just as I have let you you are to love one another without Ladislav 1512 this is my commitment that you will there. I have left. John 1517. These things I command you sell, you will lab when another & four 1111 if God's elect. I we cost a lot to love one another and the last verse. First John 311 for this is the message that you have heard from the beginning that we should love one another, and the greatest thing about this is Jesus not also perfectly thoracic and we variance that can, he also empowers us to do it. Just tell us to lab and help you do it on around about you but I failed miserably. Trying to let David on and show him we can live in a way that frees us to be crying when we're transition and lasting peace in all things to me is just I am so grateful and it's the only way I think we can experience minus the way God designed us to love one another like he loved us, and that's only possible by us not being self-reliant to try harder but us surrendering and getting on her knees and go.I need your help to build a love like you love and pursue Meg being fully known and fully experiencing that from me is the only one that truly fully knows every part of my and fully loves her with perfect love, yet I get to pursue her by the power of the Holy Spirit and give her glimpses of God's love in a tangible way us together going to those places, but often it seems like you want the freedom of companionship without the demands of genuine intimacy which takes us back to the onion and where we started. We did to those layers. We go all man this is hard so that an unrealized wrapped are little more just, bumping up against it. But when we realize it like we did this past summer. Okay this takes agape love layers. This takes dependence upon his spirit to build it enter in together. This takes risk. This takes courage and in some steps of faith to to know how are loved first point to be able to open ourselves up again Anoka got beautifully lovely know me, I invite you into the deeper places help me go deeper. This layer but in secondly to be able to invite someone else in and and thirdly, to be able to pursue being fully known and fully love that we get to do know ourselves more inviting other our spouse and in the pursue our spouse ourselves with a Holy Spirit divine type of power and love and I just would say as we as we begin the close.

Remember this and remember the power of the analogy of the onion.

The great thing is, as you go through those agape layers that are Aeros is on the other side because that deep emotional and spiritual connection happens when you begin to unlock something and deeper levels of Aeros intimacy that comes along with deeper levels of spiritual and emotional connection to daycare and saying that is an sellable veracity years is to manage the believers like KK visit day and this is me to leave really hard trying to in its importance. We we are leaning on each other and Emily is going to get out some unethical data to hold the dog right here me know it is going to tumble down the center. Sounds Like the M and C this is me in the side of this is got here and he is the anchor on the size of our marriage anywhere like in the middle. Really a sale leaning on him next door, sees mystery keys where I'm getting all my stability reading around him in data sooner. There still is one letter here and working in wait where to gather one being to get everything reading in the Lord's, and continuing to grab this place is ultimately the one and yes fully he's the only one who can ever malice in that complete full right and left us perfectly. Marriage allows us to you anyway and let each other in a beautiful and amazing way to say closing just to remember that in a way, we can't let each other yet because after learning how to get to live deeper going to those layers of the worst thing taking steps of faith remind ourselves that we are in a covenant with the Lord and we marry one another, depending upon him. We are in a covenant with one another is about growing deeper and deeper in the awesome intimacy that comes from taking risk in those places where you been listening to David and Meg Robbins are presidents of family life today on the love like you made a virtual cruise and boy they they get into it. If anything good is happened in the last year, you know, this coved year were many of us, you know, did what we just did watching this message were sit in our homes. You know where we sort of been locked down. You know we had a chance to go deeper in our relationship, or pull away.

Their challenge was to let God grow you deeper and I love that because they talked about going deeper in our heart in our spouses heart in Jesus heart as well and all three of those are really important and I just loved David make any near just David and make it just fun to listen to their great to be around and they're great leaders. So let me ask you like, as you've listened to this what Carr called action daily think the first thing I think of is something we teach at the same life we can remember. And that's level V communication and that's what they're talking about going deeper means only to go down to level V, which means I'm going to share my heart. I'm not gonna hit a level III or level II is I'm sorta superficial, but in the end, you could be that waived some people in your life a level V in a marriage, every minute of the day, but it does mean that I'm gonna reveal my heart, my struggles, my doubts, my weakness with the most important person in my life which is my spouse and it's scary to go there. That's with her dying that's deep and that's it's easier to live in superficial land, but man, if there's one person you want to go deep with that, your spouse and your king, your Lord and the benefits of going there as scary as it is our intimacy not only with God, but with your spouse. So it's worth it. So I would challenge especially the men.

I think women go there easier. Maybe I'm wrong with know you do. So I would challenge the men share something real. Share substance scary with your spouse today and asked God to meet you and take you deeper and it doesn't have to be necessarily about your marriage, but what you're facing in life and what you're feeling in life that took the challenge. Thanks.

I can imagine that for some people believe the thought of sharing something that's been hidden something that's been kept under the covers that that can feel scary and threatening. You wonder if your safe.

So I think the question for you is what can I do to help my marriage become the kind of safe place where we can be transparent where we can be what Genesis 2 talks about naked and unashamed with each other. David and Meg presented this message as a breakout session on family life's 2021 love like you mean it. Virtual marriage cruise. The good news is the cruise in 2022 will not be virtual it will be in real life. I RL will be face-to-face with one another on the cruise and we'd love to have you join us every year that we've done the love like you made a marriage cruise. It has been a sellout and this year's cruises starting the sellout as well so we have a limited number of cabins still available. This is a great week for you to reserve your cabin because we have a back to cruising special that we put together for family life to the listeners. It ends on Monday. You can call one 800 FL today to reserve your cabin on the cruise if you need more information, go to our website. Family life and click on the link you find there. Join us valentines week of 2022.

The love like you mean it marriage cruise again. Call 1-800-358-6329 to sign up at 2000 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today that I don't know if you ever stop to think about this, but God is the one who invented intimacy and marriage.

He invented sex and tomorrow were to hear from Dr. Julie Slattery about God's good gift every couple and how we can be a part of that. I hope you can join us for that on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob team. We will see you back next time for another edition of family life today. The production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most

Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime