Season of Recovery After Hours

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1-800-YES-WORD. Hi, I'm Matthew. My co-hosts, Brianna, Michael, Paul, and I have found life beyond Mormonism to be brighter than we were told it would be. Join us for discussions about our journeys from Mormon to Jesus.

This is the Truth Network. Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast. So sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now.

Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours, and we are talking today, Robby, about a topic that we should be considering right now, right? I mean, we're coming out of, depending on which state you live in, where you listen to, you know, a lot of states have had mask mandates and things like that, and some still do. But where we live, we're coming off of having to wear the mask everywhere all the time, you know, and it feels like we are coming out of an entrenched barricade out in the open, you know. Hopefully it's not to get our heads smacked and then have to go back in, but what's the season we're entering into right now, Robby, that we talked about on the last show?

It's really kind of cool when you think about it. It's coming out of the spring, and it's a season of recovery is what we're talking about. But as we come out from underneath COVID, we're also entering into the vacation season, and we're certainly seeing in the culture that they're spending all kinds of money in an effort to feel better. But as our hearts are in this point of recovery and we need to refill our tank, it's a great time to pause, ask God, you know, what is my next step in this recovery process and what would refill my tank? And as, you know, for heads of households, what is, you know, partner with God, where do we need to go with my family? What would be good? Would it be a Wally World adventure or something that was much less scheduled? In order to get a chance for people to express what really has been going on in their lives over the last year, because there's been some horrendous loss, horrendous loss of both life and, you know, kids that didn't get to play football, online school, no friends.

It's had a huge effect on any – I can see it in my grandkids and my kids' bowl. There's a lot of stuff there. It is. And just, you know, other things like, you know, if there happened to be a funeral during COVID that, you know, you couldn't be with people in the hospital or if they were in a nursing home. And that was our story with Vinnie, you know, was we really never got a chance to – we did it on the show, but, you know, we never got a chance to really have a funeral situation for him, which would have been great to do. Yeah, I went back to visit my aunt, you know, for a week because she had terminal cancer. And I was like, oh, I don't know what's going to happen, so I'm just going to go visit her now. And so glad I did. I had a great time with her and the rest of the family that was able to be in town at that time.

And this is the weekend I'm going home now for the funeral. So there's, you know, everything's goofy. It's just weird. Things aren't like they normally were for, you know, however long you've been alive. Didn't matter.

Even Harold hasn't seen something like this before, you know? Yeah. When was the Spanish flu? Well, with the plagues, you know, clear back, you know, what was it, the 13, 1400s. It was bad, wasn't it, Harold?

Yeah, it was. Burning bodies. Bring out your dead. Tell us about it. The rats they had weren't pets.

What's that? The rats they had weren't pets. No, they weren't.

They weren't. No. So the season of recovery, right?

What's your heart need in the midst of this? And I think that's, for me, the question I'm going to continue to ask, because I have a running list of projects I want to do. I have a running list of places I want to go. You know, whether I can afford to or not, it's a different thing, but there's opportunity. But just because you can doesn't mean you should. Yeah. No, I love Rodney's clip on this, really. I really do, as it's a new normal. And you speak to that.

Yeah, so I was looking up clips, and I was like, okay. We talked heavily already about the boot camp being right before our major holiday seasons of Thanksgiving and Christmas. There's all kinds of stress that's involved in Thanksgiving and Christmas.

And there are so many great clips of, you know, movies at that time of year. And for me, I don't know what's coming this Thanksgiving and Christmas. My wife and I right now are physically separated in cities. My kids have just graduated. There's all kinds of unknowns. Honestly, I've had a great year. This COVID and everything else that's going on in the world hasn't really bothered me that much. The thing that's starting to bother me is the fact that everybody else is saying, oh, you can stop wearing masks, but boy, my work has not said you can stop wearing masks. And I'm like, come on. Let's get on with the show. You've used them as an excuse to make us wear them, right? Well, they probably know you have a face for radio, and they're just trying to keep it that way. Yeah.

I'm assuming there was a petition involved somewhere along the way. So here I am going into something. I'm actually getting more upset as we're coming out than I am the rest of the time we've been in. It's where I'm finding myself. It's like, oh, my gosh, really? But all I'm thinking about is, okay, is I don't think it's a one and done, a quick recovery, do this thing, and everything's going to be okay. I don't think it's just, you know, roll the dice, see what they say to go do, go do that. Yeah, hey, it's all great.

No, it's, I agree with Jon, it's going to take us a while. You really are going to have to search for this, and now you've got a holiday season that's looming out there. We're going to try to do all kinds of things that are special and different because we might have lost it last year, you know, done something really small. You normally get the big family together. People didn't travel. There are all kinds of different things that didn't happen. I didn't go because I was going to go visit my family, and I didn't go because they were all scared. Well, I don't know if I'd even see him if he came because, you know, we can't go visit. He's just going to be flying and all that. So that stuff is real to people, and I'm like, okay, well, if they're, I mean, I'm not worried about it, but I understand they are. So there's things where you've got to put yourself in their perspective and go, okay, I got you, I won't go visit. But people are going to try to make up for this, and when I watch this and I'm like, what is going to be the new, the change, is it going to be a change for the better?

Or is it going to be a change for the worse? Are you going to try to overdo something? And I love the movie The Blind Side for so many different reasons, but here you come into this clip and you have Thanksgiving, and all of a sudden, Big Mike is in their world, and they're doing their normal, everyday Thanksgiving type stuff. Hey, it's about football. Let's grab some food.

Let's go in and eat and watch the game. That's what they do. That's what their family does. It's what they're comfortable with. Big Mike is experiencing something brand new.

It's all different. And Big Mike grabs food, and if you watch the clip, he's like even taking a roll, like wanting to put it in his pocket. Can anybody see this? Because he's like, man, I want to, you know, I want to really eat a lot of food here. You can just tell. It's like, oh, my gosh, I really can take what I want, even though she says it.

Can I really do this? Because his face is like, should I? Sandra Bullock in the movie The Mom, she's looking around going, where's Big Mike? And she spots him. He's in the dining room eating, and that's when she turns off the TV.

We're not going to watch football. We're going to join Big Mike. We've got a new normal. We've got something we're going to take that this poor kid who wasn't able to enjoy Thanksgiving, and we're going to change our Thanksgiving into something where it's about family more than it is about football and other things that just normally are the way that we do things. And then it just completely changes their dynamic.

And then, you know, the rest of the story is kind of written after that that we know about. As you mentioned, Mrs. Mistake defense, let me get a child. Yeah, I see.

Come on, rebel turkey. Everyone, thank your mother for driving to the store and getting this. Thank you. Football. You know, you want to get back. Don't take my spot.

This is fantastic. We all got potato salad. How's Ole Miss doing? But it's Thanksgiving.

Wow. Why are we here? Shall we say grace? Heavenly Father, we thank you for all the many blessings on this family. We thank you for bringing us a new friend.

And we ask that you look after us on this holiday season that we may never forget how very fortunate we are. Amen. Yeah, I was trying to follow the game as I was listening. I was like, press coverage. Yeah, I know. Exactly. It's like, that's what we do, though, isn't it? If it's on, where's our attention go? It gets away from the family and goes right to the game.

I just love this because it's like, again, like back to Wild at Heart, they got the pause app and those things like just pause. People, before you rush into anything today, tomorrow, for the next year, pause. Is it where I should be going? Is it where others that I'm going with?

Is that where they should be going? Talk about it with them. See where their heart is. Try to get them to open up. You open up. We keep talking. Be vulnerable. Open yourself up to where you're really at.

And maybe they'll open up and you can all open up together and actually have a whole new chapter that's much better than the chapter before. It's always easier to swim in the same direction than it is to go opposite ways. Yeah, and that's where we were just talking about the chosen, you know, that show where it has the little fish swimming around. It's got the 13 going the opposite direction. It's exactly the picture of that.

It's like, yeah, we're going to go in a different direction. Yeah. Jesus is the new normal.

He is. Danny, what about you? What's some thoughts for you for this season of recovery? Well, we had a couple of getaways planned before they started lifting anything. And they have kind of changed because we're in a season of taking care of family. And that's you know, that's OK. But Michelle and I were talking last night when I got home. I took dad to have his fifth back surgery and they put this little computer thing in him.

And I want to learn to reprogram it because I can control him. But, you know, mom and dad are in a situation where dad's had five back surgeries and mom is almost immobile. She's getting really close. And so we're in that season of what we talk about vulnerability. You know, we have to get real with each other and go, OK, what's really going on?

What's really needed? And but Michelle and I were told, she said, Lord, we bought a nice house in King and we're going to be living in. I won't be in Ashboro and you're going to be in Carthage a lot. And so our plans are to pause. And if it's just a weekend, you know, have somebody stay with the dogs and make sure the parents are taken care of and escape for weekends or something, because these next few weeks and months are going to be really tough. And so we that's just kind of our plan is to take care of our hearts, but yet be engaged in what we need to be in. Because, you know, we have to step into leadership roles and, you know, lots of different things because, you know, it's those seasons of life with our parents that they need more care than they ever have. And I had a conversation with Mom and Dad.

They were both laying down when I left them yesterday. I was like, look, here's what I don't need to happen. I said, Dad, I don't need you to undo five back surgeries. Taking care of her, even though I know your heart is that. I said, let's do some things. I said, be honest with me.

Be you know, so it's an interesting season, so to speak. It is. And I think that it if you're listening to this with the wrong filter, you're going to think that, you know, doing something that's good for my heart is selfish. But sometimes the best thing you can do for your family, your co-workers, the people who are going to be around all the time, actually, is take good care of your heart. That doesn't mean being selfish. Right. That's not part of it. But it's doing the things that God says that my heart needs puts me in a better place to where I can listen to, where I can take care of the people that need it, that I don't feel is weary. Right.

Any other answer is counterfeit and it's going to lead us in the opposite direction. Harold, was something you want to share about this season? Well, COVID robbed us of the opportunity to see our oldest son and his family out in New Mexico. And so our plan is toward the end of June that we'll be going out there to visit with them. And boy, it seems like such a long time since we saw him. And now the oldest grandson from out there is actually in Germany. He's in the Air Force now. So I don't know when we'll see him again. But that's an important thing for us is to reestablish that relationship. Absolutely.

I have a couple. I looked at my calendar and honestly, none of these trips that I was looking at doing were very expensive. You know, I was going to go up to Indiana, stay at my sister's so there's no hotel costs and things like that. I'm going to see a friend at the beach.

I'm staying at their place, you know, that type of thing. But there are two trips that I had planned that we're going to have some money involved. But I'm still really looking forward to those because it's a trip with my boys.

You know, and we tend to have just a really good time and it's a big memory point. You know, especially if a son that's entering into the workforce in October, you know, he's going to be working full time. That's going to be new to him.

Nothing's going to be the same again. My oldest son is going to be going or youngest son is going to be going to senior year of high school. That's quickly going to change after that, you know, going to college and again, all that kind of changes. And so I'm looking at this is some level of normalcy, normality to it that I can go on a vacation with my kids and and actually just have a good time doing simple things. And then the second one, I'm very fortunate, was able to get a trip with my family. My oldest brother very generously covered a lot of the costs for the family. But I'm going to go take a trip with my siblings.

And the reason that that's in, I'm sure there'll be arguing at some point. You know, I know my siblings. Yeah. But the reason that that's important, honestly, is one of the last things my mom had told us. You know, as she was dying, she kept telling us, stay together, stay together.

You know, promising, promising that we would stay together. And we did a pretty good job up until covid. Right.

And then it'd be easy to get on a new normal. And that's what I appreciate about my oldest brother stepping in. So now we're going to make sure we do get together like we promised. And then it may look something different next year, but it felt like there was something good about saying, OK, we're honoring that request. You know, even though I'm sure there will be tensions at times, you know, I know the family well, but it'll be good in the long run.

Yeah. The time that we're going to spend this upcoming time, it's we're going to have a funeral. It's going to be sad. But our family just has so much fun. We're already planning, OK, where we're going to eat, because everybody's got their favorite little spots back to where they're going to eat. And make sure we get the time to play cards because we get serious about card playing in the family when the family gets together. And it's like it's just so much fun because you're sitting there talking about it's what will come up during a card game.

Right. Because you're playing and, you know, 10 and then somebody talks about something. Oh, yeah, that memory pops up. And then you get the next thing going. It's just a hoot just to sit down with people you know that well and you love that much and just have that special time.

Yeah, exactly. So the cool thing for me when I think about it and I've thought about it is that God just kind of orchestrated my season already. Like I had a week to go do an Akita Kolos man camp, which was a week of chasing after God's heart.

And there was some stuff there that was not necessarily up, you know, my cup of tea necessarily. However, it was a week that God and I went on an adventure like you do, Andy, where, you know, it was him and I. I didn't know anybody there other than an Akita. And there was a fasting time. And there was a lot of times that were like covenant of silences only on steroids kind of because they were a lot longer than we do at our camps. And then right coming off that we had our boot camp a week later. And so I had a full week of that. And then we came in and did ours. And what was interesting for me is that some of the stuff that God put in my heart to begin to do, which was to be more vulnerable and to be needy out loud and to share more of intimacy who I am with my friends.

That pushed right into boot camp, which not only allowed that to happen between me and my friends, but then God started really playing with me. I mean, he started showing me colors and things in my mind that, you know, it's just it's weird. And you're going to say that's weird, Robby. But it was really, really weird, Robby. It was really good for my heart.

And he knew it would be. And I've been processing it really ever since. But as a result of that, you know, I've pushed into this season coming off this boot camp into just more time like that with God. And so that I feel really like my tank's been getting, you know, filled a little bit, a little bit.

And so I'm ready to take on what comes in the next season. Yeah, well, weird is the new normal. So you're OK. Yeah. And I do have a face for radio. You were normal way before.

He was weird before weird was in. Exactly. So now we come to the last few minutes of the show and we've talked about everything. So what's what's got to get on your guys's heart about this time, the season, this.

I guess what would be your hope coming out of it? I mean, whatever this in a season, what I like about that, there's no definition of the beginning or the end. Right. I mean, a season. This may be a season recovery for some people. That's a relatively short one for other people. It may be months.

You know, other people may be years. But as you walk through this this path with God, what's your hope coming out on the other side of whatever the season length is? I guess mine probably would be a deeper level of intimacy with God. And then, you know, it's always that, you know, because that's where life comes from.

I think it's finding life and whatever you're doing. And I know I do plenty of things, false comforters, finding life and things other than God or other than in good human relationships, you know. And I'm thinking, you know, I shared earlier on the first show about my daughter going to Utah. And I was even sitting here thinking about it while we were talking about this, of what would that do to my heart and what would that do to her heart. And then I began to realize it's almost like God reminded me that, you know, her and my time is coming to an end where she had been living with me.

And she's coming back to the Triad area and going to school at Wake Forest. And, you know, I was like, you know what, that really could be a really good time, you know. And just reconsidering that and because of the heart aspects, you know, of just – I know that we've had some good times. I mean we've laughed a lot and we've had some good times, some good trips together. And I think it's just really kind of praying into that even more to see if that is what's on the agenda, God's agenda.

Because, Robby, you mentioned that I've went out on a lot of trips by myself. And as much as I've enjoyed God being there and I've experienced him in that, there was a desire to have somebody there with me. But then I can share, too, these places I've been, you know, I've got a story where God met me there.

There's this one place I want her to see, you know. So that's just something that just came up in my heart. Yeah, I just think we just had a very good men's ministry about patience and kindness.

And those two have just really resonated. And it's like, if I don't have patience and kindness for you, how can I expect patience and kindness from you? And I think if each of us just kind of focus on being patient and kind with others, there will actually be patience and kindness from others. And just to be able to sit in that and rest in that and say, okay, well, this is what I can do and what I can control. Okay, I can't control everybody else and what they're doing, but I can control me. I can control my attitude towards it.

Even though there's things that are going to, you know, blow my top off at times, like, okay, get it back under control. How do you feel about masks exactly? Yeah, masks are great. I love masks.

I'm feeling patient. Or is it kindness you're feeling, Sam? It's well-disguised kindness. That's what it is. It's called a pose.

It is called a pose. You should come to the boot camp, Sam. We'll tell you all about it. I may learn something if I go.

Robby, what about you? What do you hope to come out of this season with? Well, that's my longstanding hope, to see those I love walk closer with God. I mean, that's like, man, I want to see that intimacy, you know, raising levels for all the people that I love.

You know, I pray about it all the time and ask God, you know, what's my role in that? And looking forward to it. I am convinced that this season will lead to deeper intimacy with people that will be vulnerable in this situation. Agreed.

Danny? Well, this last boot camp was just awesome for me. And one of the things I've tried to do in this season is not that that would just be a weekend event that happened and it was really cool and try to implement more of, you know, what we talk about all the time. And, you know, to have those moments of the cones of silence, which are 30 seconds long, and the covenants of silence, which are an hour long. But those moments with God that He is playful. He has brought me, it's a house rent or something. I see Him every morning. They've got a nest around there somewhere and I think He's aggressive. But He's every morning, see the birds, see something. You know, I love hawks and I see them all the time and that's really cool. But just to observe the fact that God does walk with us on a daily basis.

He does talk with us. Because I forget that in these seasons of just one thing after another after another. Harold, what about you?

What do you hope to come out of this season with? Well, I was just going to comment about the rent. Jan had one that when she would be doing her morning devotional, it would be right out there on the deck, just squawking its little head off.

I'll have to share with you the poem that I wrote about it. But she says that the bluebirds show that God is pleased with her when they come to the bluebird box. It's just right outside the window. And the little wren. So I think God does give us critters that are evidence of His presence and His care for us as He cares for them.

The wren doesn't have a bank account, doesn't need one. Good point. I guess for me it would just be wholeness. And you get that with the intimacy with God. Because I realize that how I feel about myself will directly affect how I treat others. And so I have to make sure that I get my own dipstick checked once in a while to make sure the oil level is good and all those things. That's good, Sam. He can be taught.

Not just look at the dummy lights when I explode, but to do some preventive stuff. And really to spend the season with God, getting more whole and getting more intimate with Him. And so I pray that for you as you think about your season.

As you just keep going to Him and saying, God, what can I do for my heart? Where are you in this? Where do you want me in this?

Whatever this is. And then go with Him. Go with reckless abandon with Him.

Just go and follow Him, the Holy Spirit. What do they call Him in Ireland? Do you remember what that was? I don't. Oh, you'll have to look it up. That'll give you something to do in the next week. Look up what they call the Holy Spirit in Ireland. We'll talk to you next week on DamascusJourney.org. It's not Leprechaun, I'm sure.