#407 Unlike those of the President's, the trappings of HIS office never leave.

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Call 866-WINASIA or to see chickens and other animals to donate, go to CritterCampaign.org. Isaiah 6-1. All right, Isaiah 6-1. Now, most of you are going to probably know this, but I'm going to read it anyway. In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of his robe filled the temple.

All right, now why am I reading that? All right, well, some years ago, Gracie and I had the opportunity to meet the President of the United States, George W. Bush. And it was the first time I'd ever met a sitting president, and he was at an event in Nashville, Tennessee, where we lived, and they asked Gracie to sing at this event. And we showed up at this very, very nice hotel. We're very familiar with this hotel, and it's not terribly far from us, where we lived. And we got to meet the President of the United States, and Gracie sang for this thing. And I noticed everywhere around was the trappings of the office of President.

But then I went back to the hotel a week later for another event, and there was nothing of the presidency there. Now, why is that important? Well, we're going to take a quick break, and I'll tell you why. This is Peter Rosenberg, and this is Hope for the Caregiver, 888-589-8840. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberg, and this is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. And we are thrilled to have you along with us, 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840, if you want to be a part of the show, and we'd love to have you. And I was telling you just before we went to the break about this event. So we went and saw the President. We were there with him, and the entire seat of power of the United States was right there in that room, because that's where the President was. And we're standing next to him and all the things that are going on, and it was just, it was an extraordinary event. And, you know, you see the podium, you see the seal, you see all the Secret Service, you see all the trappings of the Office of President of the United States. And it was just, it was an extraordinary event.

I've never been around anything like that at the time. And Gracie did a great job, and she sang, and it was just wonderful. Then we had another opportunity to go to the Republican National Convention up in New York in 2004, and she opened up one of the nights of that convention. And we were downstairs, kind of in the holding area, and they put Gracie, for whatever reason, they put her in Arnold Schwarzenegger's dressing room.

He was speaking that night. So we were in Arnold Schwarzenegger's dressing room because it was very, he liked it very cold in his office, kind of the waiting room. It was a real nice kind of a suite downstairs they built.

He wasn't going to come there till later on that night. And so they put Gracie and I in there, and it was really nice and comfortable for her. And then his suite was next to the President's suite that he would have downstairs as well. And so I peeked into there and I saw again all these trappings of the presidency. Laura Bush was speaking that night, and as well as we sat with the President's father, former President George W. Bush, and you see all these trappings of this.

Now why am I telling you this? Because in Isaiah 6, 1, it says, I saw the Lord, and He was high and lifted up, and His train filled the temple. But when you go back to that hotel in Nashville today, you will not see any of the trappings of the presidency of the United States.

And when you go back to Madison Square Gardens where we were in New York, and go downstairs to where we were below the stage, there's nothing there of the presidency. But Scripture tells us that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and that means that that same God, that same Savior, that same Lord that Isaiah saw a picture of, was able to see in that vision, dwells in us and never has to remove the trappings of His office from us. That same majesty is within us. I want you to think about that for a moment, and what that means to you as a family caregiver.

That means as you are doing all the things that you're doing, as your kid with special needs is having a meltdown, and you are struggling with this, as you are struggling with caring for somebody who has dementia or other issues going on, with all those things, and they may be cursing at you, they may be treating you poorly, and all those kinds of things, that same Lord is right there with you through this, with all that majesty that caused Isaiah to put his hand over his mouth. But because of what happened at the cross, you now are connected as a believer to all of that. It is dwelling in you. That's hard to wrap our minds around that, isn't it? Particularly when we're going through the more painful things of our life. But why is that important? Isolation is one of the most crippling things as a caregiver that we can face.

It is one of the landmines in my book, Seven Caregiver Landmines. And I discuss it all the time. That's why I do this show. Because as caregivers, we get cut off from so much that we're like that empty ballroom that no longer has any of the trappings of the presidency. That's what we feel like.

We just feel like an empty ballroom. But Scripture is telling us exactly the opposite, that He is with us in all of His majesty, all of His glory, all of His power. All of that is with us in these moments. Do you believe that? I do. It's hard to wrap your mind around it. And we need to be reminded of that. I come from a long standing conviction that we as caregivers don't need a lot of instruction, but we need a lot of reminders. I know I do. And so, when we get into these places of despair, of overwhelming sorrow and grief and frustration and resentment and rage and loneliness and isolation, all the things that we feel, we can be assured, we can be strengthened, we can be comforted, we can be emboldened, we can be fortified, knowing that the entire weight of His glory and His majesty is within us.

That's the reality of the gospel. So when I was there with the President, I could tell you that I wasn't all that worried about anything. And we spent the night when Gracie and I were in New York and we did this event. We were in the Waldorf Astoria. They put us up in the Waldorf Astoria. It was a little bit surreal, I've got to tell you. And that's a big upgrade for me, from the Super 8 Motel to the Waldorf Astoria.

Gracie's a gucci woman who married a Walmart husband. What can I tell you? No, it was an extraordinary event and I realized how safe we were in that building because there was security, there was secret service everywhere, and it was one of those things that you felt like, wow, I'm in a fortress.

We can sleep tonight. We're safe. The President was just upstairs, well, several floors upstairs, and I thought, you know, but what does that mean as Christians? Is that picture appropriate for us as Christians?

And I believe it is. That's why Jesus was asleep in the boat and the disciples were freaking out and He was like, guys, do you not know who you got with you? That's what I would say to you as my fellow caregivers. Do we not know who we have with us? Do we not know who is with us in this?

Everything you do as a caregiver, as you look at your child with special needs, as you take care of your aging parents, as you mourn, as you have that family member with addiction issues, I watch my wife struggle with so much pain. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords resides in us as we do these things. And He grieves with us, but He's also working to restore all these things and make all this new. And we trust Him with it. And when I was standing there, going up to the meet and greet with the President and all that kind of stuff, all the Secret Service guys were, you know, directing us where to go and so forth. And I followed their instructions without question. I'll tell you something, when you're around a bevy of secret – and everyone of them were just extremely polite and gracious. They all knew who we were.

You know, they'd done their background stuff and all that. But you follow their instructions. You don't go off script when you're around the President. Let me just throw that out there.

And the President may go off script, but that's the President's responsibility, not mine. But they all knew me. They'd done their homework. They knew who we were. And they ushered us to the right place. They knew Gracie's limitations and so forth, and everything was in place.

How much more so with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords? He knows you. He knows you. He knows you. And why is that important to you?

Why is it important to me as caregivers? I didn't have to overthink this. I didn't have to script it all out for the Secret Service or anybody else.

They already had it all planned out. These are flawed human beings. We're not dealing with the flawed human being. We're dealing with Christ.

Who knows you? And He knows what you're carrying right now. And He's with you in it. And that's why we're doing this show, to let you know that piece of information and remind you of that.

And I'm going to need you to call in and remind me of it. Because that's what we do for each other. We remind each other of these things. Because we have not only caregiver amnesia, but we have gospel amnesia. And we need to be reminded. We don't need a lot of instruction. We need to be reminded.

The gospel is not this complex mystery of things that we've got to somehow wrap our minds around and figure out. We just accept the fact that He's with us. And He says that over and over and over. Do you know what the greatest commandment in scripture is?

Can you guess? It's fear not. Don't be afraid. And He knows we're afraid. But He says He's with us. And what does that mean?

Well get that picture then of all the trappings of the presidency of the United States and then multiply that times infinity. That's who's with you. That is who's with you. 888-589-8840. 888-589-8840. This is Peter Rosenberger.

We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. 888-589-8840. If you want to be a part of the show, 888-589-8840.

And this is the show that is committed to you as a family caregiver. To equip you to stand firm and to be at peace. A little bit more calmer. A little more hopeful. And peaceful.

And restful. Knowing that He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus. Now, anybody else says that to you? You may say, well those are nice words Peter, but you just don't understand.

I'm 34 years into this as a caregiver. Through a medical nightmare. Yeah, I do understand.

Yeah, I get it. It is painful. And I think that we spend a disproportionate amount as caregivers grieving. But what does Christ say when He says, blessed are those who mourn. Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you... Finish it out for me. He didn't say, I'll give you sleep.

He said, I'll give you rest. And all these promises in scripture then start making sense in the context of what you're carrying. But what does it look like to walk that out as caregivers every day? What does that look like when you're dealing with somebody who is treating you so poorly? Or when you feel like you're the ones carrying all this and your family members are MIA, for lack of better words.

They're just not there with you anymore and you're just doing all this by yourself and you're at the end of your rope and you're trying to tie a knot and hang on. These are things that are important to us as caregivers to delve into and then put scripture on it and anchor ourselves in that. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Come unto me all you are weary and heavy laden and I will give you peace. Lo, I am with you always, even until the ends of the world. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art. Finish it with me.

With me. I've got an article that's going to be in the Christian Post tomorrow. I was watching all these commercials and it says, during these uncertain times, during these uncertain times and it just really struck me, when have times been certain for us? And you go back to the fundamentals of your faith when you're faced with all these things and as caregivers we're faced with it daily so that's why we have to go back and do this daily, hourly. There's a hymn I put on my CD, Songs for the Caregiver called I Need the Every Hour. The reason I put that on there is because nobody's written a song that says I need the every minute.

Because this is our journey as caregivers, we have to constantly remind ourselves of these otherwise we get off in the weeds somewhere and if we get off in the weeds too far then we'll find ourselves in the wilderness. You don't believe me? This is what happened this morning. Go look at the news. Lady in Florida, she's been arrested now. She told everybody her son with autism ran off. But she's been arrested for killing.

Nine-year-old little boy. This is the despair and the dark places that we can go to when the suffering and the struggle and the despair overtakes us. And this is why I do the show.

Because I want to go into those places with every tool that I have. Whether it's through the show, through my books, through my podcast which is free. You can go out to our website and subscribe to that. Hopeforthecaregiver.com.

It's all there. And I'm putting it out there as fast as I can. I got this article that's going to hit tomorrow. I have a string of commentaries and op-eds that I've written about this very thing. Because I understand how important it is and how painful the journey is for so many people. Who are putting themselves between a vulnerable loved one and even worse, disaster. And it's tearing them apart.

So I want to speak into that with as much clarity as I possibly can. Speaking of that, let's go to the phones. Ann in Mississippi. Good morning, Ann. How are you feeling? I'm okay. Ann, I don't believe you.

Well. You don't sound okay. I have a call screener that I didn't know if I really should even be calling in because I was a caregiver. My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's and then dementia later on for 13 years. And the last three and a half years he was in a facility. And he passed away this past September.

And I dealt with the deepest, darkest depression I've ever had. Let me jump in real quick. Ann, let me jump in real quick. You did call the right place. You should call it.

This is the place for you to call. Okay? Okay.

So I'm glad you did. So keep. I want to put that.

I want to just go ahead and put that in a box and put that back on the shelf. You're in the right place. Okay? Okay. All right. Keep on. Sorry about that, the interruption.

Oh, that's okay. It's just that, you know, I feel like that maybe I should, you know, you always look back and say, shoulda, coulda, woulda. If I'd have done it this way, maybe this wouldn't have happened, you know.

And, you know, it says you're supposed to love them through sickness and health. And I feel like I didn't go through it all the way with him like I should have. But I was just having a real hard time dealing with it. And my daughters are the ones that even sort of went behind my back and visited an assisted living facility and then came to me and even took him to visit. And I didn't even know it.

And then came to me with the solution and then the last three or four months, he moved to a facility where one of our daughters worked as an occupational therapy assistant because in the assisted living facility, he had fallen and broken his hip. Let me back up a little bit so I make sure I understand what you're talking about. They went behind your back. Why did they have to go behind your back?

Well, because I'll just be transparent. You know, they were talking to their daddy and saying, how's mama handling this? Sometimes I would be, I guess you'd say mean. I just couldn't handle it sometimes. I understand that.

Just in a bad mood and just snappy and so they felt like he would be better off in a facility than having to still be at home, which is sad to say. It is. And these things can happen. I mean, you're going to get snippy. You're going to get bristly.

You're at your stretch beyond what you can possibly imagine. And I get that. And you're going to make mistakes.

I am the crash test dummy of caregivers. I've forgotten more mistakes than most people are going to make. And we cringe at them. We just cringe at them. And I get that. And I really do. And I've had to go back and make amends and and ask for forgiveness and all those kinds of things. And one of the reasons I want to let you know that you're in the right place is that for caregivers, the challenge of this doesn't stop at a grave. Because then we start replaying in our mind all the things, like you said, we should have, could have, would have. And those are painful things to have to relive if I had to done this, if I, you know, all those kinds of things. And I think that in my case, what I'm learning is we make amends to the best of our abilities with the living.

And we trust God with those that have gone on. I've done that. And I made amends with Him. Well, what about with your daughters?

Yes, I've done that. And how did they receive that? They received it. They love me. If you've gone back and you've made amends and you trust Christ to put all of that onto the cross.

Yes. Then you take a deep breath and you remind yourself of that every day, that I've done what I can. And if you ask the Holy Spirit to show you things that you can do still further, you trust the Holy Spirit to show you those things. But in the meantime, if you keep living in the regrets of the past, you're going to miss the beauty of the present.

That's true. Will you say that again? I'm writing it down.

If you keep living in the regrets of the past, you're going to miss the beauty of the present. Now, your husband's gone. Was he a believer?

Yes. And I told him, I said, I can't imagine how beautiful the place is you're going to. And I said, you're going to see your mother and daddy. And I said, your grandparents and say hello to my mother. And I said, I'm going to see you again one day.

And it may not be that long. Well, listen, let's don't worry about don't worry about living out in the future either. A lot of times we caregivers are living so much out in the future because either through fear or whatever that we're again going to miss what we're dealing right now. Now, your husband is safe with Christ.

He's left this shed this mortal coil and he's gone to be with his savior. Now, you've made amends to the best of your abilities with that before he left. And now you turn your attention to your daughters and you cultivate that relationship with them and you learn from what the mistakes that you made with it. You learn from them. In fact, if you want, sometimes it's a good idea to go out and write all the things down and that you feel like that you have struggled with. Write them all down. Every one of those things, just privately, just you, just you and a pencil or pen and the Holy Spirit.

You mean the things with hands I struggled with? All of it. Whatever you're beating yourself up for right now, write it all down and then burn it. And then burn it and trust Christ with it. Pray over it. Put your hands over it. Give it to Christ.

Make amends where you can and then burn it and live your life right now. Well, thank you so much. That really helps me. You're quite welcome. Thank you for listening. Thank you for calling. This is Hope for the caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back. More than a dozen years we've been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people. On a regular basis, we purchase and ship equipment and supplies.

And with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison, we also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ, the source of my hope and strength. Please visit standingwithhope.com to learn more and participate in lifting others up. That's standingwithhope.com. I'm Gracie and I am standing with hope. Welcome back to Hope for the caregiver here on American Family Radio.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for you as a family caregiver. 888-589-8840.

888-589-8840. And why shouldn't this network host the largest program for family caregivers? Families in the middle name of American Family Radio. And this is a group that is highly at risk of these family caregivers. They are struggling.

Dealing with all kinds of horrific challenges. And as you just heard from our last caller, it doesn't end at a grave. I've been saying that for some time.

Those of you regular listeners to the show know that. That this doesn't end at a grave with us. Because then we get to go back and watch the replay over and over and over in our mind. Of all the things we wish we could have done or should have done or wish we hadn't have done. And that regret will mobilize you just as much as anything else will.

Our challenge for us as caregivers is that we have to anchor ourselves in something that transcends all that regret. All that fear. All that resentment. All that sorrow. All the fear that's waiting for us in the future. That's our challenge for us as caregivers.

How do we deal with that? And I go back to what I said at the beginning of this show. In Isaiah 6-1 when he says, I saw the Lord. He was high and lifted up and his train filled the deck.

And we can just get a picture of the glory of God and the presence of God. And then I contrasted that with when Gracie and I met the President of the United States. All the trappings of his office were right there.

At this event. It's like wherever he goes, the presidency is a part of it. It just moves with him. But we have a savior that doesn't leave us. So the trappings of his office are always with us.

Ever present. You get the picture. You understand what that means to you as a caregiver.

So when you're changing adult diapers tonight. The King of Kings and Lord of Lords is with you in this. All the majesty he has. He comes into our brokenness. He comes into our grossness. He comes in to our affliction. That's the gospel. That's what he did because he knew that we couldn't go to him. So he put it on himself and brought it to us.

He brought glory to us. Heaven came down and glory filled my soul. Do you understand that? Do you see that? If you don't understand it, that's OK. Can you at least picture it? And grasp it as you're dealing with these things. And as you deal with the regret, as Ann was doing, as you deal with the remorse. And you look back at the unfairness of it, of what you did and maybe losing your cool and all those kinds of things. Hang on to that. And understand that he bore every single bit of that.

That's the gospel. And on this show. My mission, my passion, my goal is to be able to explain these things in a way that you as a caregiver can understand it. Because I speak fluent caregiver. We speak fluent caregiver on this show. I didn't have people speaking to me with this level of clarity through the vast majority of my journey as a caregiver.

And so I've tried to aggregate this and assimilate it for a way that makes sense to you as a federal caregiver. So there is no ambiguity in your mind. Of what the message is.

And I remember saying to myself in my own mind when people were talking to me over there. That's easy for you to say. You just don't understand. Well, you don't have that excuse because I do understand. And I'm a flawed, sinful human being.

Imagine how much he understands. All right. Let me quickly take one more call here before the end of the hour. Cheryl, I don't know where Cheryl is, but Cheryl, good morning. How are you feeling?

Cheryl in Ohio. There you are. Hi. I'm feeling tired.

Feeling tired. I get that. Yes, I bet you do. I was just really feeling your words of comfort there for this last lady that you talked to. And I understand how she feels because, you know, you get to the end of your rope sometimes and get kind of snappy. And it's because of all the demands. You think I'm one person. I can't do all this. And it just gets very hard sometimes.

It does indeed. Who did you take care of in this manner? Or who do you take care of in this manner? I am a past-time mother to my four grandchildren. And I'm in my sixth.

So they're a very active group. I started almost two years ago when the children were eight, six, three, and eight months. So it was really a lot of rearranging of our lives. So, yeah, it's been demanding.

Your phone was a little bit breaking up. So you take care of your grandchildren? Yes, sir. Now, why are you taking care of your grandchildren? I'm taking care of them because my son and his wife split up after ten years of marriage. And he could not afford a home of his own. And so he moved back in with us. And, of course, he has part-time custody of his four children. And so I became, like, their part-time mother.

All right. So what is your son doing now? He has had trouble staying with the job because of different issues he's dealing with. Does he have a substance abuse problem? No, I don't think so. Does he drink? A little. Does he take drugs? No. Has he ever taken drugs?

Not that I know of. Just the ones that the doctors give him for depression and so forth. So why do you think he's having a hard time keeping a job? And post-traumatic stress syndrome from being in Iraq.

Is he seeing counseling regularly? He does through the... The VA? Through the VA, yeah. It's not what I would like. I'd like for him to talk to my minister, but he doesn't want to. Well, he can at his pace, but the VA is...

This is not uncommon. And so you are there as part of a vast network of military families who are trying to pick up the pieces for what's happening to our young men and women on the battlefield. And you are standing in the gap with his four children, but at the same time you've got a son who has been wounded. He didn't leave the battlefield uninjured. And he is dealing with a battlefield injury.

That's the whole reality of this. And this is a deeply meaningful call here on Memorial Day weekend because I think that so many of our wounded warriors left a part of themselves there. Part of them died on that battlefield. And as we honor those who have given their entire life for this, we also honor those who are still wounded in this.

And they're still struggling to regain some sense of normalcy, and they may never do it. My dad was a military chaplain for many, many, many, many years. And there are some very good military chaplains in the service that can connect to your son and just keep reinforcing and pointing him to it.

You don't have to preach at him, but you can just keep reinforcing and caring for him in this. Okay? It's going to be a haul for you, Cheryl.

This is no easy journey. And do you know the Oak Ridge Boys? Have you ever heard the Oak Ridge Boys? Joe Bonsill is a friend of mine, and I'm going to be having him on the show in a while. He's the tenor, but he's been with him for 40-something years. But his father, when he was 19 years old, stormed Utah Beach and took devastating wounds. And his mother cared for him. She was a WAC, and she cared for him after he was rehabilitated and came back, and she married him, and she cared for him the rest of his life for a long time. But he went through all kinds of PTSD. They didn't call it that at the time, and Joe wrote about this in his book G.I. Joe and Lily. And he wrote about this, and that may be a book that you might want to read, G.I. Joe and Lily, because it talked about how it affected the family, and his father went through alcoholism and all kinds of things. It was a tough, tough journey for the family, but they did it.

And there are resources for family members of wounded warriors, and I would highly recommend you reaching out to those for yourself through this process so you get a better understanding of what you're dealing with with your son. It's hard to watch and feel helpless. I get that, Cheryl.

I really do. And you are standing in the gap for those children. Incidentally, his wife, that marriage is a casualty of what happened on the battlefield partly as well.

You can't blame everything on the battlefield, but it's part of it. And there are resources out there for that. And you keep plugging into those things, okay? Cheryl, do me a favor. Do me a favor.

Would you stay on the line? We're going to get your information. I'm going to send you a copy of my book, okay? Okay, thank you.

All right, hang on. Jim's going to get your information. I'm going to send you a copy of my book. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is Hope for the Caregiver. I'm going to send you a copy of Hope for the Caregiver. This is the nation for you as a family caregiver. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. You're why we do the show. We'll see you next week.