So You Want to Get Married, Part 2 (cont'd)

Sex is part of the benefits package of the job of marriage.

You don't get a benefits package when you don't have a job. And we got folk going around the church hitting up people for benefits packages and godly singles need to start saying to folk, do you want a job? Would you like an application? Hello and thanks for being here for this Monday edition of Destined for Victory with Pastor Paul Shepherd.

Always glad to have you with us. Well, we're opening Thanksgiving week with a message to single women who want to be married, but it's a message for single men as well and for all of us who have single people in our sphere of influence. As our culture continues to market sexual immorality as an acceptable lifestyle, Pastor Paul wants to remind us that the Word of God is clear. Sexual immorality is a sinful act, one that robs us of God's blessing and leads us down a path of ultimate destruction.

Today's message comes your way next, so stay right here or download the podcast on demand at pastorpaul.net, at Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. But now here's Pastor Paul with today's Destined for Victory message, so you want to get married. Sexual immorality is sin. The Bible is crystal clear.

You don't need to know Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic. I say that because there are singles these days who in their effort to justify shacking up in one-night stands and friends with benefits and oral sex and all the rest of the stuff that some so-called Christian singles are participating in, the Bible calls it fornication. Fornication. It is translated sexual immorality in NIV and other more modern English translations, and so some folks, I say, well, yeah, but what exactly is fornication?

I think it just means when you are sexually harassing somebody, but we're two consenting people want to do something, and they both have feelings of affection for one another. I don't see why that would be sin. Y'all think I'm planned, but I'm telling you things I've heard. And when you get through telling me why you don't see how that could possibly be sin, there's a Greek word for what you believe, baloney. And you continue in your disobedience and deliberately living in sin outside of the will of God, and the Bible says that you will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Or you're going to make me prove it. 1 Corinthians 6 verse 9, do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. First thing on the list, sexually immoral. Sexually immoral. If you live in disobedient and deliberate sin, you know God's will, you know the truth, and you refuse to do the will of God.

The Bible says don't you dare think you're going to inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 10 verse 8, we should not commit sexual immorality as some of the early Israelites did, and in one day in the wilderness he's talking about under Moses, 23,000 of them died. 2 Corinthians 12, 21, I am afraid that when I come again, my God will humble me before you, Paul speaking to the church, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin, and debauchery in which they have indulged. Galatians 5, 19, the acts of the sinful nature are obvious, first thing on the list, sexually immoral.

Where's he going to be through at this point? Not yet. Ephesians 5, 3, but among you there must not even be a hint of sexual immorality. Jude 1, 7, in a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire. Does that sound serious to you?

It sounds serious because it is serious. The world plays games and makes light of sin, but the Bible takes it ever so seriously. The apostle Paul said also in 1 Corinthians 6, don't you know that when you are saved, your body is not yours. You are bought with a price, therefore glorified God in your body. It's serious stuff with God. No such thing as a Christian shacker.

Christian fornicator. I'm talking about lifestyle. I'm not talking about falling. You fall, you repent, you acknowledge before God I messed up.

The Bible says when your repentance is genuine, so is God's forgiveness. But we all know that there's a difference between a fall and a lifestyle. Yeah, well I failed this weekend and I'm planning to fall again next weekend. You know we got the holidays coming up.

I'm going to get a couple falls in right quick. That's what I'm talking about. I don't want people to feel condemned. Don't let the devil condemn you. If you have repented before God in your heart, you have repented before God. The Bible says when you confess your sin, he is faithful and just to forgive you of your sin and to cleanse you of all unrighteousness. Wonderful thing about grace is when you get it right, it's so right until God doesn't even remember your sin. There's an Old Testament prophecy that says he takes your sins and casts them in a sea and remembers them no more. Sometime when you're belly aching and throwing up your own past in God's face, he says I don't know what you're talking about because when God forgives you, it is a done deal. But I'm not talking to people who have had a fall and have truly repented. I'm talking to folk who want to flaunt their ungodly lifestyle in the face of God and turn grace into disgrace. And I'm here to tell you that I don't care who says it's okay, how cool it is in society.

In the Bible, according to the word of God that will judge us all in the end, it is sin. So what do I do? Okay, pastor, I hear you. All right, I got to cut this out. All right, I hear you.

I'm under conviction. But what I do, pastor, see, I'm a sexual being. You got to understand my nature, pastor. You got to understand me.

Heard that too. God's got a word for you who had the can't help it. I want to live right but I'm telling you, pastor, I'm telling the truth, man. Hey, man, you don't understand, man. Yo, man, look, man. If you all knew me in the world, I'm doing good for where I came from. God got a word for you.

Mr. and Mrs. can't help it. God got a word for you. He gives us practical guidelines for living right. Bible is not impractical.

It does not tell you what to do and not tell you how to do it. 1 Corinthians 6, 18. What do you do when you want to live right sexually? You got to understand that the onus is on you and so God gives you some precepts, some instructions for living in victory.

Here's one. 1 Corinthians 6, 18. Flee from sexual immorality.

How do I deal with it if I have the can't help it? The Bible said run. Flee.

Is that in your Bible? Flee from sexual immorality. We are smart people who have figured out how to do a lot of things in this world but none of you have ever figured out how to commit fornication on the run. It is not possible to fornicate while you are in a run.

Had a can't help it? Run. That's what the Bible says. You say well I'm in a wheelchair. Roll away. Roll away. Flee from sexual immorality. It doesn't have to happen. You can run.

I don't care what mess you've gotten yourself into, what situation, what compromising situation you are in, you can run. Ask Joseph in the Old Testament. The first time Sister Potiphar hit on him and said let's go to bed, here he was a servant in her husband's house.

Now if anybody could say look I'm sorry. It was Joseph. He had been sold out by his own family in Canaan. He's now in Egypt among pagans. Nobody there knows Jehovah except him. He's among pagans.

He's been sold out by the so-called righteous people. He could have all kind of justifications in his mind but he knew he was a man of destiny. I'm among heathens and pagans. I don't know what's going on in my life but I know God gave me a dream that he was up to something in my life.

I'm cold according to his purpose and I can't live any old kind of way just because I'm surrounded by people who live any old kind of way. And here's this fine woman, Mrs. Potiphar. I know that woman was pretty.

Potiphar was one of the hop men in Egypt at the time. I know he had a trophy wife. And here's this beautiful woman taught by work in a wardrobe. I know when she came to Joseph she was looking just right. I know whatever she had she was flaunting it. And she came to this young man single, red blooded, sold out, living among pagans and a pretty woman says let's go to bed. And you do what he did.

The Bible says he ran. When that last time when she really was determined to get him she grabbed his coat. She meant it. The first time she just made the indecent proposal and he rejected it. And then the Bible says day after day she kept coming. And one day she said look I'm through playing with this boy now.

We are going to bed. And she grabbed him and the Bible says he ran out of his coat. Don't tell me you can't help it. If you can run or wheel yourself away you can stay in the will of God. Flee. How else do I live right? Colossians 3 5.

Put to death therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature. Second way to live right not only flee but kill those things that promote and encourage sin in your life. We're coming right back with more of today's Destined for Victory message from Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor at Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. Listen to the broadcast on demand at pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net and there you'll also find a host of great resources in our online store. And be sure to stay with us after today's message when Pastor Paul joins me in the studio.

But first let's join him for the second half of today's teaching. So you want to get married. The Bible says some things if you're gonna live right, you got to live by righteous resolve. That means part of your resolve is to flee. Another part of your resolve is to kill some things. It says put to death some things in your life.

And the first thing on the list is sexual immorality. You got to put it to death. Some things you have to kill at least in this season in your life.

You have to kill any sexuality that's immoral and wait for God to bless you with your Ruth or your Boaz so that you can express yourself sexually in a committed God honoring marriage. So in the meantime, I have to kill some things and you got to know yourself. You're gonna live right, you got to be in touch.

You can't be in denial. You got to know what pushes your buttons. You got to know what floats your boat.

You got to know what rings your bell. You got to know what you cannot handle. If you can't handle love songs, put them away for this season. This is not my season for Luther Vandross. I can't handle him. Cause the resolve to live right.

Come on, you got to know yourself. If Luther messes with you, then this is not your Luther season. Put on some praise and worship. Get yourself an iPod. You can make your playlist of all the songs, all the love songs that you want to enjoy one day with your husband or with your wife.

Make up your playlist and then call that playlist coming later, another season, next time. You know, whatever it is. And you don't play that one now. You play the praise and worship and all of that right now.

I am a friend of God. That's what you play now. And you wait on your season. Then when the Lord blesses you with your Ruth or your Boaz, whip out your iPod when you all get married. Wedding night, whip it out. I said, baby, I got the music right here. I've been waiting for years. Been waiting for years. Got it right here.

Put it in the player and all that and go for it. Luther can croon you right on through the night. Love has truly. You got to know yourself. Some things you got to kill.

You got to have very strict guidelines for yourself. And when something pushes you in the wrong direction, you have to kill that for this season in your life. If I kill it, don't worry, you will resurrect. You don't have to worry about how many no. It's not going away forever.

It will resurrect. But for now, you put some things away. How else do you live right? How else do you maintain sexual purity? Not only do you flee, not only do you kill some things, but number three, you avoid sexual immorality.

1 Thessalonians 4-3, it is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should avoid sexual immorality. Avoid it. That means you have got to set yourself up to not enter the gravitational pull towards sexual immorality. You have got to draw some boundaries in your life because sexual immorality has a gravitational pull. It will pull you in and so you've got to know where to stay away from. You avoid certain lifestyle decisions. You've got to avoid certain dating practices. People are always talking about, well, what can you do and be in the will of God?

That's the question I'm asking you. Don't ask me what you can do. You tell me what you can do and stay out of the gravitational pull.

And for some, you can't do much of anything. One little thing will trigger you. Go, come on, you've got to be real with yourself.

Gravitational pull because sin has that pull and if you go into the wrong environment, it will begin to pull you. You know it. I'm not telling you what you don't know and you find yourself being pulled in. I want to live right but I'm being pulled in.

Trying to live right but I don't know. Oh, Lord, help me. Help me, Jesus. Help me. Help me, Lord. Help me. Help me, Lord. I'm being pulled in.

I'm being pulled. Father, forgive me, Lord. Forgive me. And you know I'm telling the truth. So if you can't handle something, if it's going to trigger you, then you avoid that practice. It doesn't matter what other folks say they can do. They are not you.

Whatever is going to send you in the wrong direction, avoid it. Going back to Joseph, the Bible says the way Joseph handled Mrs. Potiphar for all those days she was coming after him day after day, it said he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her. See, Joseph didn't play games with himself. He didn't say I can sit up with her every day, we can just hang out, we can just chill and I'll just tell her no.

Joseph knew the effect she had on him and he refused to be with her. See, some of you all call yourself avoiding but you're not really avoiding. Like this camera, this video camera that's on me now, I can walk around and say I don't want that camera on me. I do not want that camera on me. So I'm walking around and the camera's just with me.

I do not want, you know, make me sick. Camera people always looking at me. Every time I turn around, they got the camera on me.

Make me sick. Always everywhere I go. Why can't I have some privacy by myself? Every time I turn around, they are just following me. They're always up on me.

And that's the way some of you all are. I'm sick of these people just because they date me. They think they're going to have sex with me. Just because they took somebody to dinner. They think that I'm supposed to give in.

I'm so sick of these people. Just because you took me to dinner and a movie, you think I'm supposed to give something up. Make me sick. You think I'm? You see what I'm doing? I'm talking.

I'm complaining. But I'm not avoiding that camera. If I were serious about avoiding that camera.

I feel sorry for people listening to a broadcaster, listening to a CD. Let me catch them up. I just ran from the camera.

I ran behind the organ. You know what you have to do. If you're serious about avoiding, you do whatever it takes to get out of harm's way. There are certain people you can't even date. Just period.

They mess with you too much. You know. We can go out and fellowship.

You can be in the group with all of us fellowshiping. I'm not going anywhere with you through this season. I can't handle it. I can't handle it. Don't tell yourself lies.

You'll be alright. But I would say you can do all things through Christ. Don't you use the scriptures to mess yourself up. You can do all things through Christ, whatever he has ordained for your life. He has not ordained for you to put yourself in harm's way.

You put yourself in a position to win, not to lose. Thanks so much for being here for today's Destin for Victory message, so you'll want to get married. As promised, Pastor Paul has joined me from his studio in California. Well, Thanksgiving is just around the corner. It's time for us to count our blessings.

But if we're being honest, Pastor, 2020 has been a year when it's been tough for us to see those blessings. Remind me, why is it important for us to be thankful, even in times of uncertainty and unrest? Yeah, I think being thankful is one of the fundamental values that we learn. And I learned it as a toddler, and I think most people did. You know, your parents teach you very early on, especially being a little church kid and having folks walk up to me and give me something, candy or a nickel or something like that. And your parents teach you from the very beginning, make sure to say thank you. And that lesson is one of those bedrock principles that we should build our lives on.

So now that we're all grown and living our lives, we need to go back and remember, no one owes you anything. And so it's good to be thankful just as a matter of lifestyle, but especially as we think about how good God has been to us, even through our trials, even through our difficulties, God has been good. During this year of pandemic, God has been faithful and helped us get through some very challenging times, and we owe him a lot of thanks. So I think that these are days when we need to take advantage of this built-in holiday of thanksgiving and to make sure we're grateful to the Lord. In fact, in this month's encouragement letter, I mentioned one of 10 lepers who returned to Jesus.

He healed 10 of them, but only one thought to go back and to worship him and give him thanks. I think that's the way we ought to live our lives, like that one leper and make sure God knows how grateful we are. And how thankful we are that we have God and the Lord to lean on during a time of pandemic and epidemics, right?

Absolutely true. In fact, one of my favorite three-sentence scripture passages is where Paul wrote to the church at Thessalonica, and he said, Rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks. If we'll do that, I think God will be pleased and our lives will be richer because of it. Great reminders for all of us, Pastor. Thanks for those words of encouragement. Well, before we let you get on with your busy Monday, here's a quick reminder. As our way of saying thanks for your generous donation, we'd like to send you a book called, 30 Days to Taming Worry and Anxiety, written by Deborah Smith-Pagase. This book is a great resource to help you discover how to deal with the stress life often brings our way. That's 30 Days to Taming Worry and Anxiety, our gift to you today by request for your generous gift to Destin for Victory. Just call 855-339-5500 to give over the phone or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online.

And you can also mail your gift to Destin for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. Recognize the signs that it's time to find your wife. I want to say to you, single brothers, don't stay single past your single time.

Recognize the signs. You have grace for every season God ordains for your life, but you've got to recognize when seasons change. That's next time when Pastor Paul Sheppard shares a word to single men in his message, So You Want to Get Married. Until then remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.