I'm Peter Rosenberger and after 40 years as a caregiver for my wife Gracie through a medical nightmare that has soared to 98 operations, both legs amputated, treatment by more than 100 doctors in 13 different hospitals and you can't imagine the medical bills.
Well I've learned some things. I learned every one of them the hard way. And in my new book, A Caregiver's Companion, it's a journal from that journey. It's filled with hard-won wisdom, practical help, and yes, an ample dose of humor. Because let's face it, if we don't laugh, we're going to blow a gasket.
And I've learned that I am no good to my wife if I'm fat, broke, and miserable. How does that help her? Healthy caregivers make better caregivers, and that's what this book is about: pointing my fellow caregivers to safety, to learn to live calmer, healthier, and dare I say it, even more joyful as a caregiver. It's one truth I've learned, punctuated by either a verse from scripture or a stanza from a hymn, and a space for you to share your own thoughts. While this is my journal from a 40-year journey, you can journal along with me in this book.
It's called A Caregiver's Companion, available August 20th from Fidelis Publishing, wherever books are sold. Learn more at peterrosenberger.com. Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger, and this is the program for you as a family caregiver. Hope for the caregiver.
for thecaregiver.com hope for the caregiver. Why are we doing a show for caregivers?
Well, I'm glad you asked. Did you know that there are more than 65 million Americans right now serving as a family caregiver and they are over? Overwhelmed. outmatched, overpowered. Overstressed.
Under train? underpaid if they're paid at all. All of those things contribute to a very, very tough set of circumstances. I just did an interview with AARP about caregivers who are performing complex medical things at home. Things that we're not necessarily trained for.
I certainly have done my share of those things, things that they didn't train me for in music school. And all of that and more contributes to a general sense of. Weariness, frustration, burnout. Trauma, all kinds of things that go on with a family caregiver. And this program is designed to speak to all of that to help direct you to a place of safety where you can catch.
your breath. Take a knee if you have to and develop healthier strategies to To live a calmer, healthier, and dare I say it, a more joyful life while serving as a caregiver. And healthy caregivers make better caregivers. You know, we got a lot of fires out here in Montana right now. This is fire season.
That's a thing for us out here in the West because it gets so dry. and there are a lot of forest and we get a lot of lightning strikes. You think, well, it's people doing this, and sometimes they're man-made. I mean, sometimes it's careless campers and things such as that, or chains that have fallen down behind a truck and create sparks and ignite a fire in the grass beside the road. But it's mostly lightning strikes.
In fact, we had one right here where we live in our little town. We've had a bunch of them here in our county. And it I saw the lightning strike from here on her deck. It was about nine, ten miles away as the convict runs. And I watched it hit, and within a matter of hours, this thing had gotten up to hundreds and hundreds of acres, eventually got up to like, I think 3,500 acres.
uh within less than 24 hours. Surprisingly, it was just grass and sage. Even the snow fences that are made on that hill over there. didn't get burned up.
So they were able to get out there and it it burned quickly and but it could have been a lot more gnarly. But we've had other ones in the forest about, I don't know, fifteen, twenty miles away, but the smoke is heavy, it comes over this way, and they've got that about thirty five percent contained. And thinking on this, I also was considering this series that I've been doing about. Things that caregivers struggle with that they don't want to talk about. And I'd like to weave an analogy, if you will allow me to do so, about what I've been observing with the fires.
When they contain a fire, They bring in, and this one particular fire that's in the forest about two ridges over. They bring in big bulldozers and All kinds of, they have like 500 men over there working, men and women. Sadly, we had one firefighter that lost his life. And it's it's a very tough thing that they're doing. And they bring in these big Bulldozers and chainsaws and everything else, and they clear land around this fire.
They make a big. You know, barrier, dirt barrier, if you will. And sometimes there are natural barriers with cliffs and rocks and so forth. And the the goal is to starve it out. And that's what they say when it's contained, this much contained.
We've got this much of a barrier around it, and so forth. But this fire is not going to be out. Completely. until we get the first heavy snowfall. And even then they'll go up and check on it.
Now we'll get snow in the high country probably sometime here this month. Usually, we start getting snow in September. I've seen eight inches at our house on Labor Day. We didn't have that this Labor Day. But The snow will come and it will, that way, will know that this is out for the season.
It it takes that level. to extinguish something this big. And I've learned a lot about firefighting in this last couple of weeks. I mean, we've been living at it for some time, and we've been through fire season before, but there's always so much to learn. And.
These firefighters are trained to see what others might miss. The embers hidden underneath ash or buried in roots. And left alone, these embers can reignite with the right wind. Doesn't take much. And we get a lot of wind out here, dry wind.
and the only way to settle them is to identify, expose, and drench them until the heat is gone. That's it. And usually, it's going to take that heavy of a snowfall to make that happen. but that principle applies beyond the forest. Many caregivers live with what I call smoldering rage.
And I coined this In recently, in my interview with Jess Ronnie, and you heard excerpts last week, and we're going to play some more in the next couple of blocks. Of What happens to us as caregivers, that resentment lurks. often unnoticed. In fact, it's there for so long that it starts to feel ordinary. Do you ever feel like the resentment that you struggle with as a caregiver feels normal and ordinary to you?
It's such a regular companion? But it isn't normal. And it's like wildfires. It takes deliberate effort to extinguish this. It's not going to just go out by its own.
Rage hides beneath fatigue, Pain or isolation. And then you get a fresh crisis that blows through. And it may have simmered down a little bit, but what was seething. suddenly roars up. And we've all seen how fast Fire spreads when the embers are ignored in forest.
And in our own homes. and in our hearts Unchecked, rage consumes far more than we can imagine. And that's why we as caregivers. And those who love us must learn to spot those warning signs. You need to name what it is that's simmering, bring it out into the open.
Pour the water of grace. perspective and community on it. put Scripture on it. Trusting the Lord with all your heart and leaning not unto your own understanding. When we.
Rage out. We're leaning on our own. This is what we want. This is why we feel indignant. And when we ignore that, it only guarantees a bigger blaze later.
Just as fire crews depend on one another in dangerous moments. You know, caregivers, we need a team to put out those flames. It's not going to happen. Accidentally. or haphazardly.
It's going to happen intentionally. There's a old fire service proverb that says Work is a team, and fire will become nothing more than steam. And everyone goes home.
Well, that same holds true for us. When grace extinguishes the embers, you know, new growth then in that forest. will always follow. And my question to you is Where is that grace? for the smoldering rage that you may carry.
Do you have smouldering rage? Do you have deep seated resentment that you've had for so long? that it seems almost normal. It's just a part of your life. And when a new wind of crisis blows through, do does it it ignite it all and just turn into a raging inferno again.
And if so, what are you doing about it? How are you getting help with this? Help is available. Talk with your pastor. But don't stop there because some pastors may not be equipped to help go into this with you.
They may not have that kind of training and they can help you spiritually and point you to scriptures, but you may need some professional help with this. A counselor. And don't Hesitate for one moment to get some help with this. These firefighters out here, there's not one guy working this blaze. There's a whole team of people.
And it's a costly It has cost a lot of money. It cost at least one life. It is a tough thing. But they're doing it. And when that snow falls We'll all breathe a little bit of a sigh of relief.
But what is that snow?
Well, that snow is the grace of God. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as. Snow. Do you understand now? That's what grace is.
It covers all that. It extinguishes this. Are you applying that? Do you know how to apply that? Do you know what that even looks like?
If you don't, that's okay. This is the place to start. We can do that right now. You and I can do this right now, caregiver to caregiver, and we can start applying this grace to. recognize that you know what this is not abandonment my god And he's actively working in this, and we can trust him with this.
How do we know we can trust him? Because he stretched out his hands. and gave his life for us. His scars speak. to yours.
We're going to deal with that smoldering rage, that resentment. Hebrews 12:15. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble. and by it many become defiled.
Now you see that, what that smoldering rage looks like, that resentment in our life, and let's deal with it. We're going to talk more about this as the show unfolds, but also we're going to go back to our interview with Jesse Ronnie when we come back. This is Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back.
Hope for the Caregiver. Dot com. Yeah. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger.
HopefortheCaregiver.com. Glad to be with you. By the way, my new book is out. It's called A Caregiver's Companion. It's Scriptures, Hymns, and 40 Years of Insights for Life's Toughest Role.
There's just one quote. and I marry it with a scripture or a hymn stanza that punctuates that quote. It's my journal. from 40 years. For example, here's one.
that I I wrote, here's the quote, My wife has a Saviour. I'm not that Savior. That's it. That's the quote. That's the bedrock that I've landed on, and then I put a scripture with that.
I Timothy two, five through six. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men. the man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. My wife has a savior. I'm not that savior.
And then there's a spot for you to write your thoughts about what we just talked about there. Whatever the quote was, or whatever the hymn was. It's my journal. And then he gives you a space to journal along with me. It's called A Caregiver's Companion, Scriptures, Hymns, and 40 Years of Insights for Life's Toughest Role, wherever books are sold.
Last week I played excerpts of my interview with fellow caregiver and author, Jess Ronnie, author of Caregiving with Grit and Grace. And I'm going to go back to that and play another excerpt for this week's program. You can hear the entire thing on my podcast page, which is available wherever podcasts are listened to, Hope for the Caregiver, or at my Substack page at caregiver.substack.com. But here's my interview with Jess Ronnie. One of the things in your book.
And again, the title of the book is Caregiving with Grit and Grace. Not grits in Grace. Jess is from Michigan, so she really doesn't understand grits. I lived in Tennessee for seven years.
Okay, okay.
Well, God bless you. Where'd you live in Tennessee? Bass Springs. Bass Springs. Well, Gracie and I were.
Nashville for 35 years.
Okay. Gracie is a ninth-generation Tennessean.
Okay. But her family's so far back up in the hills up in East Tennessee that the Presbyterians were handling snakes. Right. But we live in Montana now, but we have to have our grits imported by sled dog out here. Right.
If you don't mind me jumping through time a little bit, Take me to that healing service that you went to. Where you saw that man. Talking about diabetes, who is overweight. This is in the book, and it's a standout moment because you were incredibly frank and candid in this. Take me there.
Yeah, so frank and candid. My publisher said, You might want to soften this a bit. No, I'm so glad you didn't. And I I'm a a pretty frank person. And I'm very black and white, as I've already shared.
And as I was sitting in this healing class, With this morbidly obese man. And I'm pregnant with Lucas, with this baby who I've been told is going to be terminal. And we were asked to share our prayer requests. And Walter, this morbidly obese man, asked that we would all pray that he would be healed from. Diabetes and I'm asking to be prayed for this baby who I've been told is going to die in my belly.
And I'm getting kind of annoyed with Walter because I'm thinking to myself, you can control your situation. You can lose weight and you can heal your type 2 diabetes diagnosis. I can't do anything to control my situation. I am completely at the mercy of what the Lord wants to do with this baby. And it's just getting me kind of fired up: like, why won't you just lose weight?
And then you won't have this type 2 diabetes diagnosis. And it became kind of a struggle for me. And a few weeks, a month or two later, I was at church and read in the bulletin that Walter had passed away from diabetic complications. And it kind of dawned on me, you know, Walter relied on the Lord and sought the Lord for his healing and for something that he couldn't control. And I was still in this, I need to control.
phase and wasn't fully surrendered. And so Walter's life really became a testimony to me during that time. when I read that I was really stunned and I'm glad you put it in there. It needed to be in there because it's real life. I remember there's some things I um put in it was actually Gracie's book that I helped her write and there's some very unflattering things about me in there.
Jeff Foxworthy wrote the forward to it, and Johnny Erickson Tata helped. Kind of mentored me a little bit as I wrote it. If you know Gracie and me, it makes perfect sense that Jeff and Johnny would be the two people to bring it out. Together to this project. But I remember Jeff saying something to me.
He said, No, you got to put it in there. It's real life. And people need to hear real life. He said, I got a buddy of mine who's right all the time, but he's never real. And this is real, just this is real life.
And it's painful, and the wound is not pretty to look at. But in order for us to heal, we've got to deal with it. We've got to look at it. We've got to look at the rage that simmers in us as caregivers all the time. We've got to look at the guilt that tears us apart.
We've got to look at the fear. We've got to look at the way we choose to medicate all those things. It is unpleasant. Nobody likes it, but I have noticed that God is not uncomfortable with my discomfort. Mm-hmm.
And he knows. He knows it. And he's interested in dealing with it. And it's painful. And I don't like it.
And I've had many conversations where I've offered my consulting services to God. He has yet to take me up on it one time. Me too. But. And I I remember one time when Gracie was groaning.
I mean groaning in agony. And this went on for some time. a one-off with her. and I was in the hospital with her and I looked up at the ceiling and I said, Do you even see this? Does this even register with you?
Do you care? I tell you what, why don't you give her an hour's worth of relief and I won't tell anybody so it won't thwart your plan? Mm-hmm. That's how real I got with God. And I have also found that God knows these things, and He's going to press on it and press on it till it comes out.
My father had this statement that he would say that most of life's ailments can be dealt with by. topping it, puking it, or taking NyQuil. And I think God likes to pop things and get it out of us because he knows it's in there and he knows it's toxic. And he knows that you were sitting there with Walter watching this thing. He knows that was in you, and he wanted it out.
He saw the things in me. and he wants it out. And it's not going to be pretty when it comes out. But what a moment that he goes back then and you're able to write about it and say, Oh, this is what I saw of myself, and this is what I saw of the cross. And that's That's why I have you on this program today, Jess, because I look through what you've done, releasing anger.
You talk about fixing your gaze. That's a big thing that you obviously weave in throughout a lot of what you do because your eyes were so misdirected by all the spiritual and physical incontinence, and your eyes were lifted upwards. When did you start writing this book? In 2023. the story even behind when I started writing this book is such a God God orchestrated event, we ended up purchasing a home for our son Lucas that we turned into a group home.
And I wrote this book while my husband renovated that home for Lucas. And it almost became God downloading this love letter for a grieving mother who was. Grieving the fact that I was going to release my child into the care of others. I would always be. A caregiver, and I am a caregiver on some level to Lucas, but I no longer am his primary day-to-day caregiver.
Now, by the way, was this Ryan building the home? We bought a home and Ryan renovated the home. Ryan, we didn't even got to Ryan yet. No, we haven't. You met Ryan after your husband had passed away, and you and Ryan married, and he had three children.
Yes, Ryan lost his wife to brain cancer four days after Jason died. The way we met is pretty remarkable. I blogged about our journey from Michigan and Ryan blogged about his journey from Oklahoma. And a stranger from Pennsylvania happened to read both of our blogs and she reached out to me and she said, hey, there's this widower in Oklahoma. He's not doing very well.
You just have a lot in common. I think you could be a source of encouragement to him.
So I left a comment on his blog. and woke up the next day to an email from Ryan and we ended up on the phone together in the next week or two. We met a couple of months later and we were engaged and married within the year. He ended up moving to Michigan with his three young children. Did you help him with subtitles, being from Oklahoma to Michigan?
Did that. Was the language barrier an issue at all? It wasn't. I thought it was sexy.
So. No, it's part of the appeal, this southern gentleman. It worked for us. Um no, and we adopt each other's children to make one big happy family of nine. And we thought we were done at nine.
And then a couple of years later, we decided to have a child together, Annabelle Ryan.
So now we have eight children. Bless your hearts.
Well, do you, as you started writing this book, as you go back and look at these things, I just finished a book myself here, and I realized this book was 40 years in the making. Because and I saw this quote, and don't ask me to get it exactly, but I'll give you the Broadbrush of it from C.S. Lewis that God will redeem things backwards. And we'll start to see his redemptive work backwards. And look at these things.
And I think the hymn writer said it best, through many dangers, toils, and snares. You know, we have already come. And then Isaac Watts wrote, Oh, God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come, our shelter from the stormy blast and our eternal home. And we look back and we see these things. And Moses preached this in Deuteronomy to look back at the things that God has done.
And now you look back. Are you able to start?
Well, I know you are because you wrote this book about it, but as you start to trace his fingerprints on things. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's incredible. I mean, my whole life has sort of blossomed into this caregiver advocacy work that started with Lucas. And I mean, it led to documentaries that ended up on PBS and.
and books and a podcast and speaking all over United States and sharing about how desperately caregivers need help and support. And that's all from Lucas's humble little life. I mean, he is the most humble human being on the planet. He doesn't care if anybody knows him or cares about him. He just wants his Veggie Tales videos and he wants to be fed and he loves to sing praise baby videos and maybe some chocolate cake.
You know, it's tell Lucas, I'm right there with him. Yeah, it's his mother's ego that the Lord keeps working on. Like Lucas is good. He's humble. He's probably closer to the Lord than many of us because he just doesn't have the cares of this world on his shoulders.
And being his mother has been such an honor. I mean, he's taught me more than any man or woman behind the pulpit ever has. And walking beside my husband Jason and, and you you know, meeting Ryan and adopting. His three kids and this big family, and it's all just been about God's glory, and that's what the word says, too. Why should we not go through these things?
It's to bring glory back to God. And I live now with such an eternal perspective, it's really not about. This life and the here and now, it's about being faithful to whatever God calls us to walk through. It can't be about getting everything we need to have our little slice of heaven right here on earth. It cannot be.
We've been told over and over and over in scripture: in this world, you will have. And so, when confronted with things that are very uncomfortable, people want to somehow impose, well, if you would, or you know, why do you suppose? I'll never forget the times that people have said that to us: if you had this, if you would, you know, whatever. They don't do it anymore, but they did. We were young and we didn't know.
No, in the word sense, crucified with Christ. I mean that we are crucified with Christ in this caregiving work that we do, and we're becoming more Christ-like in every action that we extend towards our loved ones. And is the servant greater than the master? Right. You know, and so it is not that we have to go out and look for it.
We don't have to go. I mean, God will bring it, He'll bring it our way of what He's going to accomplish. I trust you're enjoying this powerful interview I recently had with fellow caregiver and author of Caregiving with Grit and Grace, Jess Ronnie. And we've got more of this when we come back. And you can hear the entire interview on my podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts, it's Hope for the Caregiver or on my Substack page, Caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger. We'll be right back. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger. Glad to be with you.
We're continuing on with my interview with Jess Ronnie. This is our fourth. Installment of this. It's a very powerful interview, and you can hear the entire thing on my podcast page. I hope you'll subscribe to it.
Wherever you listen to podcasts, or you can go out to my website, hopeforthecaregiver.com, you'll see how to get to it. You can sign up for our E letters. More sinews Stuff with our podcast, you can go to caregiver.substack.com. There are lots of different ways you can hear this, but Please take advantage of listening to the whole thing. Let's get back to this interview.
What's a hymn that you love? Mmm, amazing grace. Amazing, great. Everybody loves that one, Jess. Come on, you know more than that.
Great is thy faithfulness. Oh, that's a great one. I never get tired of this one. And I never ever get tired of Gracie singing this. And I just love these hymns.
And I go through and I play them a little slower. I add in some chords that are non-sanctioned by the Presbyterian Church. I was playing this one time, pastor. We went to the church there in Nashville where that shooting was, Covenant. Oh, yeah.
And that's, and I used to play every Sunday morning before the service to kind of. He wanted to just uh Create an atmosphere of reverency for the church because it was kind of like a barn, and a lot of people were coming in. And so I would go out and play and do a lot of these hymn arrangements. And he was lighting the candles as he's going across. And I'm at the front of the church, there's hundreds of people out there.
here and I And I threw in some of those flat nine chords, and I looked at him and I whispered. And he kind of looked at me as he was lighting candles right beside the piano, and I said. You know, I can get brought up on charges in some churches for that cord right there. He was trying to light the candle and he started bent down, started laughing, but. But I love these hymns because sometimes that's all you got, is that you could just hum a hymn.
And remember that there are people who have been through such brutal things that live to write about it, that live to sing about it, and just you've lived to sing about it. You've lived to write about it. You've lived to talk about it. And you've lived. And so has Lucas.
And I don't understand about Josh. I truly don't. And anybody that tells you that they do will lie about other things too, because we can't know. But we know the one who does. That's what brings me great comfort.
And I appreciate your frankness. I appreciate your honesty. This is a book that I highly recommend for any and all caregivers because she's real in this. And that's what we need. We don't need any more people pretending and talking about how, oh, I just love being a caregiver.
And, you know, we need people that could be saying, you know, my life was described by incontinence. And it's okay. It's all right. And Jess and I are just two weary caregivers who sit by the side of battle. and have a conversation and say, we're going to be okay, not because what we're dealing with is fine and it's good.
We had a challenge last night that was pretty significant, and I get it. And it's just it seems like it's just relentless. And I'm fine. 40 years into this. But God.
But God. He sustains, and as the hymn says, all I have needed, not some I have needed. all I've needed, his hand has provided. Close this out, Jess. What does...
Last thoughts that you have that you want to say to an audience full of caregivers? I think it it's this theme in my book. What you are accomplishing is holy work. And that came to me after a very challenging day with Lucas. He was homesick.
He had diarrhea. He was throwing up. He was screaming. And I had a lot of important things to accomplish. I had a book deadline.
I was working on a documentary. Lights, camera, action, grand, important things. And I was getting really irritated with Lucas, who just kept screaming and just kept needing his diaper changed. And As I was Mumbling under my breath again, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper: This is holy work. This is the holiest work you will do this side of eternity.
And in fact, this is the work that makes you more Christ-like. Not all the grand, you know, lights, camera, action, book deals. And this is what brings me joy: your faithful obedience to caring for your 15-year-old, profoundly disabled son. And it was such a profound moment that I had a sign. Commissioned that says this is holy work, and I hung it above Lucas's bed as a constant reminder to myself.
that what I was accomplishing was holy work.
So I would just say: remember that what you are accomplishing is holy work, and the Lord is pleased as you continue in obedience. The first hymn I did on the series I was doing was Holy, Holy, Holy. And I said, this is the hymn that every caregiver needs to know because. This is the hymn they're singing in heaven right now. I don't know if they're using that tune.
But they are singing those lyrics, holy, holy, holy. And uh and the question I have for myself and for my fellow caregivers. We love to see this at church. Can we sing this in the middle of the night in the bathroom while we're cleaning up something? That is, I think, that is the call for us.
And you're absolutely right. It's Holy Word because He's in this. He sees this. This is not something we do apart from our walk with God. And I've had to learn this in very painful ways.
But now I'm grateful that I can say, I have been crucified with Christ. I no longer live. The life I live in the body, the life I live as a caregiver, I live by faith in the Son of God. And he who began a good work in us is faithful to complete it. And now we are also to comfort one another with the same comfort that we ourselves have received from the God of all comfort.
And I want to ask you, I could keep you on all day, Jess, and I'm sorry that I'm just wearing you out here, and I'm probably taking up more of your time. Oh, you're fine. Because that verse, when people say, you know, we comfort one another, what is the comfort you have received? that you were able to extend to others? That's a good question.
Becoming intimately acquainted with the Holy Spirit has been a game changer for me. And understanding that. Intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. What does that look like? That's a very tangible act that I do every single day.
I have a prayer mat and I lay down on my prayer mat with palms open and invite Father, Son, and Holy Spirit into my day. I crucify myself, my ego, my desires in that moment. I pray for a fresh anointing on my life. I pray that my life can bring glory to God and that I can be obedient in whatever I'm asked to accomplish. And just the peace that I have felt.
I struggle to answer this because I don't want it to be just more like Christianese fluff.
So providing some sort of tangible action behind what that looks like for me. And it's just laying on that prayer mat for 10 to 15 minutes a day that I'm overwhelmed with such a sense of peace where I know Father, Son, and Holy Spirit meet me and will sustain me for that day and that day alone. It's that manna for the moment. And so I think it's just that faith aspect of true. truly having the faith.
To trust that I will be sustained for each and every day. I think that's where it comes down for us as caregivers: is that act of faith that somehow God is weaving in this. And will sustain us that we are not called to get through this so then we can have our meaningful Christian life. We are having our meaningful Christian life in this, right here. My mother says this to me a lot: the Lord thy God, in the midst of thee, is mighty, not on the other side of your travails, right here now.
And we think somehow we're going to have our breakthrough. We're going to get this. That's what a lot of people promise. We're going to get your breakthrough. You're just around the corner.
You're set up for a step up, that kind of stuff. But everything in scripture tells me he's right here with us right now in the misery, in the incontinence. in the suffering, in the screaming, all these kinds of things that are going on. But I used to apologize for all the clatter I make and so forth around because I'm always doing something, but I don't because this is my life. It's not a bad life.
It's a hard life. It's a hard life for Gracie. It's a very hard life. She suffers tremendously. And yet, he has not said to us, Okay, you get through this, then I'll meet you over here on this side of it.
You can have that intimacy. in the midst of your horror. In the midst of your suffering, because Paul and Silas did it, being beaten around midnight, singing hymns in prison. Isn't that amazing? That story always shocks me because.
I don't know that I've been there to that amount of faith yet in my life. I will tell you what I told Gracie, and the only reason I was able to tell this to Gracie is because the redemptive work. Of God in my life because it didn't come from me. I exhausted everything I had. on I think the seventh day of our marriage.
So I was it. I had nothing else. And everything else had to be gone. She was going through a pretty rough stretch. In the hospital, but she was clock watching because she was in so much pain and she couldn't get anything else.
They had to wait for. X amount of time. And I looked at her and I said, Gracie, they say that when you took the Apostle Paul's two. tunic off. that he had a hundred and ninety five scars, from where he was beaten five times minus one.
Wow. and I said he had no anesthesia. And she looked at me, big tears in her eyes. She said, I'm not the Apostle Paul. I said, No, you're not.
I took her hand, and I looked at her square in the eyes. And I said, No, you're not, honey. But the same Spirit that sustained him will sustain you. I promise you this. Then she set her jaw and she set her.
Face like flat. And she endured. And I would love to take credit. for saying those things. I would love to, but I can't.
And everybody that knows me knows that I can't. that God supersedes everything that I've done with this. And weave something in. I don't know how he does it. I don't know why he does it.
I'm just grateful that he does do it. Johnny told me that many years ago. that God reaches into the most horrific of circumstances and pulls out something that gives him glory. Mm-hmm. And this is what he's done in your life, Jess, and is continuing to do it.
And the story's not over. Over by any stretch of the imagination. Because, let's see, I think, let me do the math. You're about to have 64 grandchildren, I think, over the next couple of years. And if my math is correct.
Yay.
So you're going to have lots and lots and lots of stories. And I really hope you'll come back on and tell every one of them. Oh, I would love to. You are a delight. Tell me this: where can people find this book and where can they find you?
I am at Jess plus the mess.com. Is that all one word or is the plus sign? It's all one word. Jessplustthemess.com. Yes, Facebook, the same, and Instagram, the same.
And the book can be purchased on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. Walmart has it.
So, anywhere books are sold. Anywhere books are sold.
Okay. Well, Jess Ronnie, what a treat. Thank you for spending so much time with me today. And I look forward to every time that you can come back on, okay? Oh, my pleasure.
Thank you. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. HopeforthTeCaregiver.com. I really enjoyed this interview.
I hope you did too. And again, I like doing the long form interview where I can just unpack ideas, we can have a conversation. We're going to do more of those. And this will all be at my podcast or my Substack page. But just for time purposes, I can't do it here on this program, on the radio, just because of the the length of time, but I wanted you to hear as much as you could.
There's more out at the website hopefortheregiver.com. Don't go away, we got more to go with our hymn of the week that I think you'll like. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberger, and I'm very glad to be with you. HopefortheCaregiver.com.
I want to give a special shout-out to a longtime listener of this program, Bruce in Ohio. I had a great conversation with him this week. Wonderful man, prays faithfully for what Gracie and I do. In fact, he was telling a neighbor, his family, a neighbor had passed away, and the family didn't know what to do with the prosthetic legs. And Bruce had reached out to American Family Radio to track me down, and we had a great conversation.
And if you know somebody, That has a prosthetic limb that they don't need anymore, whether the child has outgrown it or family member has passed away. We'll take it at Standing With Hope. You go to Standing With Hope right there at the top, and you'll see where it says prosthetics. You'll see the arrow down, and just it'll say donate a used prosthetic limb. It's very easy.
And what you do is you can look at the pictures of all the different things we can take. And we'll take more than just those things listed in the picture, but those are the main things that people want to donate. And there's a little form you fill out, and you can do that, and then it'll give you a receipt, and you can print out from your computer the shipping address of where it goes. It goes to a prison. In Arizona, run by a group called Core Civic.
They're out of Nashville. I got to know these folks. Their headquarters were right down the street from our home when we lived in Nashville for many years. Knew a lot of the folks that worked there, great folks, and they have a lot of faith-based programs. And we're happy to be one of those at Standing with Hope.
And what the inmates do, they volunteer to disassemble the used prosthetic limbs that come in from all over the country, and we can take those parts. And package them all up, send them over to West Africa where they will be used to fabricate a brand new prosthetic limb. We make the socket on site, and that is something that cannot be recycled. We use carbon fiber, acrylic resin, and so forth. And I need your help on this.
We really do. It's expensive to do prosthetic limbs. You're taking on that patient for life. And there are two programs that we have at Standing With Hope: the Caregiver Outreach, which you're listening to. And the prosthetic limb outreach.
Envision that when she gave up both of her legs, and this is a way that she wanted to be able to do something that. Paul talked about in Corinthians, but he said, Comfort one another with the same comfort that you yourself have received from the God of all comfort. and what comfort do we have?
Well, we have been bolstered to trust God in the midst of our hardships, and then we offer what we have. And Gracie said, You know, I know the value of quality prosthetics. I'm going to put legs on my fellow amputees and point them to Jesus. And that's what we've been doing for twenty years this this year. And the caregiver outreach that we have is the same thing.
You minister out of your wounds, for that is where you meet the healer. If you're getting value out of this program, Would you consider today? Right now, right at the end of this program, I guess. You can wait till the end of the program. going online and getting involved.
You know, at whatever level you want to, whether it's helping somebody find a way to donate a used prosthetic limb or financially supporting or sharing this with somebody, sharing the podcast, get involved.
Okay, Gracie and I are just a mom and pop doing this. Mostly pop right now, but we're going to get her back in the swing of things. And speaking of, so anyway, by the way, thank you, Bruce. For the conversation and for thinking of us with your neighbor who had passed away and with the family not knowing what to do with the prosthetic limbs. Standingwithhope.com.
Standingwithope.com is where you can do all of that. Standingwithhope.com. Please go out there today. Speaking of Gracie and Getting her involved back in this thing. We are working very hard to get her better.
She is making. Small improvements. We got a ways to go, but we're getting there. I wanted to go to our hymn of the week. Based on this interview that we did, we played excerpts from today from Jess Ronnie.
And the distress that happens with the caregiver's heart. And I have a list of all these hymns. And I was going to go do them in that order, but then as topics come up on the show, I thought, well, let me go pull this one, let me pull this one.
So I'm all over the map. As far as my uh systematic approach to this, The series we've been doing is Hymns That Every Caregiver Ought to Know. And I started off with 30. It's going to be 300, maybe 3,000. I don't know.
But today's hymn reflects this interview that you heard excerpts from, and it's available at the podcast for the whole. Interview of Jesse Ronnie, and you could see the distress that built in her life when dealing with all of these different things. and this is something that you and I as caregivers We we are very familiar with. and we become unsettled.
So what do we do in moments like that?
Well, this hymn speaks to this, and it was written In Germany in 1752, by a lady named Catherina. von Schlegel. Katharina von Schlegel. We don't know a whole lot about her. She lived during this revival movement in Germany, which emphasized personal devotion and trust in God amid life's struggles.
Does that sound familiar to us as caregivers? And this text reflects that influence, and it calls believers to quiet their hearts. before the Lord, even when the storms rage.
Now the words were translated into English in 1855 by a lady named Jane Borthwick, and Jane and her sister were working to bring German hymns into the English-speaking world. And they found this hymn and they translated it.
Now, the tune for this. when it was paired with this lyric, was was called Finlandia. and it was composed by Jean Sebilius, a Finnish composer, and he wrote this symphonic peace in eighteen ninety nine during Russia's oppression of Finland. And it married it with von Schlegel's text, and it just was. It was stunning.
And it became such a, it was just woven into the fabric of not only there in Finland, but spread across Europe and here in the United States and worldwide. And the text is Be still. My soul. The Lord is on Thy side. Bear patiently.
The cross of grief or pain, Leave to thy God. to order and provide. In every change, he faithful will remain. Be still, my soul Thy best, thy heavenly friend. A joyful end and the one verse that I like the third stanza is Be still, my soul, when dearest friends depart.
And all is darkened in the vale of tears Then shalt thou better know his love, his heart, Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears. Be still, my soul That Jesus can repay from his own fulness. All he takes away.
Some years ago my friend Chris Latham, wonderful Grammy Award winning engineer, audio engineer in Nashville, came over to the house. We went to college with Chris. He co wrote the theme song for this programme with me. And has helped produce all of our records for the last several years. And he came over and He recorded Gracie now.
He ran a microphone into our bedroom. He was working in the living room there, and she got. In her wheelchair, she wasn't wearing her prosthetics. And she was on her knees in her wheelchair in front of this microphone just so she could get the breath support. and she sang this a cappella.
Live to trek. And I want you to hear This is a woman who knows how to sing to her own spirit. And this is why this hymn Is such a powerful hymn for us as caregivers.
So just take a moment to listen to Gracie sing, Be Still, My Soul. We still My soul. The Lord is on. Thy side. Bear patiently.
The cross. Of grief. Or pain. Leave to the Toward provide in every change. He faithful will remain Be still.
My soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful be still, my soul, thy Jesus can. Repair from his own fullness, all he takes away from his own fullness. All he takes away.
We didn't bring out the caregiver keyboard today. wasn't required. I had Gracie's voice, so that that could trump that.
So I but I wanted you to hear This text With that tune, Finlandia. and it was written during such a difficult time, The tune was just the tune. of of the Russians oppressing Finland. Very much like what you see what's going on with Ukraine right now.
So many of our hymns are written during brutal times for the for the composer, for the for the lyricist, and and they were written out of great distress where people were preaching to themselves. And Katerina von Schlegel was preaching to herself. Gracie, when she sings, as you can tell, she's preaching to herself. And that's how we do it as caregivers. Be still, my soul, So, when you get to these places in your life where you can feel it rising up within you.
And we're there. We all know this. I mean, if you've been a caregiver for any length of time, This is a regular occurrence. Remember this hymn. And Say to yourself, Be still, my soul.
Be still, my soul. from his own fullness. he can repay all that he takes away.
Okay? It's His fault us that we lean on. If you want that recording of Gracie singing Be Still My Soul, she actually did that as part of a performance she did with that and another great hymn, Balm and Gilead. It's on my CD Songs for the Caregiver, wherever you stream music, it's there. We're out of time.
This is Peter Rosenberger. If you want more of that, go out to the website hopeforthecaregiver.com. It's all there. And if you want to get involved with Standing With Hope, we would welcome the help today. Go to standingwithhope.com/slash giving and be a part of what we're doing, whether through prosthetics or the caregiver outreach.
And don't forget, The book is out. It's called A Caregiver's Companion, Scriptures, Hymns. and 40 years of insights for life's toughest role. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver.
Healthy Caregivers Make Better Caregivers. We'll see you next time.
Next time. Gracie, when you envisioned doing a prosthetic limb outreach, did you ever think? the inmates would help you do that. Not in a million years. What does it mean?
I would have ever thought about that. When you go to the facility run by Core Civic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all over the country that you put out the plea for. And they're disassembling. You see all these legs, like what you have, your own prosthetic legs. And arms, too.
And arms. When you see all this, what does that do to you? Makes me cry. 'Cause I see the smiles on their faces and I know I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out. Of course, being in the hospital so much and so long.
When I go in there, and I always get the same thing every time that these men are so glad that they get to be doing, as one man said, something good finally with my hands. Did you know before you became an amputee that? Parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled? No, I had no idea. I had.
I thought we were still in the 1800s and 1700s. I mean, you know, I thought of peg leg, I thought of wooden legs. I never thought of. Titanium and carbon legs and flex feet and C legs and all that. I never thought about that.
I had no idea.
Now that you've had an experience with it, what do you think of the faith-based programs that Core Civic offers? I think they're just absolutely Awesome. And I think every prison out there. should have faith-based programs like this because The Return rate. Of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program.
and other ones like it, but I know about this one. are it uh it's just an amazingly low rate. compared to those who don't have them. And I think that that says so much. But that's so much.
About Just, that doesn't have anything to do with me. It just has something to do with God using somebody broken. to help other broken people. Yeah. Ho?
If people want to donate a used prosthetic limb, whether from a loved one who passed away. You know, somebody who outgrew them, you've donated some of your own. What's the best place for them to do? How do they do that? What do they find?
Please go to standingwithhope.com/slash recycle. And that's all it takes. It'll give you all the information on the What's that website again? DanningwithHope.com. Slash recycle.
Thanks, Gracie. Take. My hair. Lean on me, we will stay.
