The Divine Purpose of the Family

God's purpose for creating family is dominion, so the history comes under God's rule. Dr. Tony Evans says true happiness at home comes from a good foundation. But without the rule of God, there won't be any happiness, because your personalities will get in the way, your backgrounds will get in the way. Celebrating 40 years of faithfulness, this is the alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, author, speaker, senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, and president of the Urban Alternative.

The Declaration of Independence proclaims all humans have the right to pursue happiness. Today, Dr. Evans explains the only way to find it when it comes to your family is to pursue something else. Let's join him as he reveals what that is. I've shared with you about the time where I had cracks on the wall in my house. So I called a painter. I had him come over. He removed the old plaster, put up new plaster, repainted it.

It looked good. I paid him. He went home. All looked well, except a month later, the crack reappeared. He did it again. He redid the whole thing. Replastered, repainted, went home.

Everything looked good for about 45 days. So I thought what I needed was another painter, somebody who, like, really knew what they were doing. So I called this other painter over.

He came over and he stared at my wall, stared at it, stared at it, stared at it, stared at it, stared at it. And then he looked at me and he says, I'm sorry, I can't help you. I said, why can't you help me?

Isn't this what you do? He said, yeah, this is what I do, but I can't help you. He said, because you don't have a problem with cracks on your wall. He says your problem is you have a shifting foundation. He said the foundation under your house is moving. The cracks on your bedroom wall are reflective of a deeper problem. He says if you don't solidify foundations, you will forever be doing patchwork on the walls of your house. Today in our families, we've got a foundation problem. And most folks are spending time dealing with cracks on the wall. They're trying to patch up an argument here and patch up a fight there and patch up a marriage over here and patch up rebellious children over there.

And they're trying to patch this, here a patch, there a patch, everywhere a patch, patch, and never getting around to solidifying a foundation. In Genesis chapter 1, God establishes the family and establishes His authority over it by virtue of creating it. We've seen in verse 26, God said, let us make man in our image, in our likeness.

Verse 27, God created man in His own image. He created him male and female. He created them. He made this. So His instruction manual comes with what He made. He made this institution called the family made up of individuals, male and female, who were to be fruitful and multiply through the magnification of offspring. He made this. Why was the family created? That's the question. Yes, we're to mirror God, but why and how?

He gives the answer in verse 26, let us make man in our image and let them rule. The goal of the family is not your happiness. That's a benefit of family. The benefit is living happily ever after.

That's a benefit. What we have done is made the benefit the goal. So when the benefit's not working out, we quit, leave, move on, because I'm not getting the benefit out of this that I thought I should be getting when I got married.

I'm not getting the benefit that I'm supposed to get. Your happiness was never God's first concern. It is a benefit of God's first concern. If you get back to its first concern, you can get back to the benefit.

But if you focus on the benefit without getting back to the purpose, you may lose the purpose and the benefit. God's purpose for creating family is dominion. Dominion means ruling on God's behalf in history so that history comes under God's rule. God wants history to operate under God's rule, so He created an institution to implement that rule.

And that institution to implement that rule is called family. God blessed them in verse 28 and said, be fruitful and multiply. He wants to fill the earth with Him. See, the purpose of raising children is not to have lookalikes. It is to replicate the image of God so that as they spread, the image of God spreads. He wants the replication of His image. And so He says, I want you to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with My image.

And yes, they will look like you, but I want them to reflect Me. So that's the reason for family. And when you miss that, then all you're looking for is happiness. But without the rule of God, there won't be any happiness because your personalities will get in the way.

Your backgrounds will get in the way. Genesis chapter 2 is the explanation of Genesis chapter 1. In Genesis chapter 1, He tells you what God did. In Genesis chapter 2, He tells you how God did it. So in Genesis chapter 1, it says He created family. But in Genesis chapter 2, He tells you how He created family.

It's the how that explains the what that changes everything about family for you and me. Whether you are single or married, because they don't start off married. They start off single. And the principle that you discover while they were single was supposed to be how they were preparing to operate for when they get married. See, the reason why people get married in chaos is they came out of chaotic singlehood. See, because they were not operating under God as a single, they brought that dysfunction into the relationship.

Somehow thinking of getting married or having a baby is going to make things better. So, jacked up singles who get married create jacked up marriages. And jacked up singles creating jacked up marriages wind up with jacked up kids. So, what He starts with is the unfolding of it in chapter 2. Now, I want you to notice a phrase in chapter 2 verse 7. Then the Lord God formed man, verse 8. The Lord God planted a garden, verse 9.

Out of the ground the Lord God caused every tree, verse 15. Then the Lord God took Adam, verse 16. The Lord God commanded the man, verse 18. Then the Lord God said, verse 19. Out of the ground the Lord God formed, verse 22. The Lord God fashioned. Right now, gentlemen, Adam is single.

There has been no woman created yet. He's a single man. He's just out there with God. And the Lord God, first of all, gives him a place to live. He gives him a house. The Lord God creates Eden. He gives him a street address, Eden. I'm sure the number of his house was number 1.

One Eden Drive. He gives him a house. Not only does he give him a house, he gives him a J-O-B. Because there is no woman. He's a single man.

So, he has a home, he has a job, and he has a relationship with the living God who is powerful. That's all a man has gotten. Because, here it is, men. A man's identity is never to be, first of all, defined by his sexuality. Your sexuality is there.

It's a part of who you are. But what defined Adam was his calling underneath the rule of God. In other words, his willingness to let God rule him, shape him, define him, prepare him for the reception of a woman. See, right now, we got too many men receiving women they're not prepared to take care of. They're not prepared spiritually, because they're not under the law. They're God. They're not prepared. Some of them don't even have a house. They don't have a apartment. They can't pay any bills. So, they're not prepared. They're talking about, I love you.

You better say, if you want to be with me, you better get a J-O-B. But he is operating now under the rule of God, and there is no woman on the picture. God gives him one other thing, by the way.

He says, verse 16, the Lord God commanded the man saying, from any tree of the garden, you may eat freely, but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you may not eat it, for the day you eat of it, you're going to die. He gave him commandments. Now, men don't like people telling them what to do. Men don't like, well, I'm a man.

I don't like nobody telling me what to do. The definition of a man, according to his Bible, is his ability to submit to the rule of God in his life. And a man has not arrived at biblical manhood if God can't tell him what to do. He commanded Adam, because in a biblical family, it's not just the woman who submits, it's the man who submits to God, which frees her up to submit to him. So we're talking to singles there. He's single.

He's not married yet. Verse 19, out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field, every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name. So the reason I love being a man is I get to name things. See, to name things meant to exercise dominion over what you named. Remember, he created the animals, but God didn't name them. He made them, but he didn't name them. He brought them to Adam to see what Adam would name them. And it says, whatever the man.

That's what it said. Whatever the man, because there's no woman on the scene, just the man. Whatever the man said it was, God said, you got it. Whatever the man named him, that's what it became. The power and authority and privilege of being a man is you get to name things, which means you get to identify what it is, what it's supposed to be, exercise authority over it, and take responsibility for it. And that's the beauty of being a man.

Now the downside is you're responsible for it when it messes up. And that's why the man needed some help. Dr. Evans will come back in just a moment to talk about how God provided it. First though, I want to let you know that what we've been listening to today is from the first message in a teaching series by Dr. Evans called The Kingdom Family. God has a plan for every facet of family life and a specific job for every family member. The closer your family gets to living by God's model, the closer you'll get to each other at the same time.

You'll find new power to overcome problems, to reinforce relationships, and to set a godly course for yourself and your kids. And because we believe this information is so important, we're offering on CD and digital download the entire six-part audio series, The Kingdom Family, as our gift when you support Tony's ministry with your financial contribution. And if we hear from you right away, we'll send the series to you along with something extra, The Kingdom Family Devotional, a 52-week journey through the most important concepts of the Christian faith. Each week covers a different topic like salvation, spiritual warfare, prayer, forgiveness, discipleship, and more. Then there's specific inspiration and instruction for each weekday, simple enough to keep your kids engaged, but meaty enough to challenge you, too.

This special double offer won't last long. So visit us today at TonyEvans.org or call day or night 1-800-800-3222 to make the arrangements. Dr. Evans will come back with more of today's lesson right after this. Nearly a decade ago, Dr. Evans released his instant bestseller, Kingdom Man. And today we're excited to announce his long-awaited follow-up book, Kingdom Men Rising, filled with authentic stories of struggle and heartfelt personal loss. Tony takes us to God's Word to show men how to clear all obstacles in the journey that leads to living a life of influence and impact.

Replace hopelessness, boredom, and regret with power, significance, and influence. Get Kingdom Men Rising for yourself or for someone you love. Make the great gift for husbands, sons, fathers, cousins, pastors, athletes, coaches, and more.

Grab yours at TonyEvans.org or at your nearest bookstore or online retailer. Men, it's time to rise up and claim your culture for Christ. There's a problem. And the problem, verse 20, then the man gave names to all the cattle and to all the birds of the sky and every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper suitable for him.

What is the problem? Adam needs help. But help for what? Help to do the purpose for which God created marriage and the family in the first place, which was to have dominion. She is to be the main person who gives you feedback so that you together can exercise dominion. Her gifts, her skill, her mind, her talents, all of that is to be brought to bear. Of course, that involves her priority of the home, but all that God has given her is to be brought to bear so that you get the help to run it well.

So if she's never consulted, never involved, view never taken, input never respected, her orientation never contributing, then you are a helpless man. That's why the Bible says, when a man leaves his wife out, tell the man don't pray, because God won't hear him. 1 Peter 3, 7.

Because what you did was you denied the helpmate the opportunity to help. That is, to act on his behalf in the visible world to rule. I love this verse, Genesis 18, 19. God says of Abraham, I have chosen him. I've chosen him to raise up his children and to teach them my ways so that I could bring upon Abraham all that I promised to him. What did he promise Abraham? To make him a great nation. How was Abraham going to make a great nation? By building a strong family, he told him.

A weak family leads to weak nations when you get enough of them, and we have plenty of them today. First of all, because men have abandoned their calling. That's the first side of it. Because they don't want the Lord God, because they the man. When God let Adam see that to rule, he wanted him to have a helper, then what we find out is God, verse 22, fashioned into a woman the rib, which he had taken from the man. Adam gave Eve his name. And what does naming mean? Authority over and responsibility for.

That's what naming meant. So if it's under the Lord God, and you have authority over and responsibility for, ladies, it's okay to submit to that. See, the problem is submission has been abused.

Submission when it's rightly done means the safest place to be, because whoever has authority over takes responsibility for. So it's only a bad term because we've made it bad, and women have been abused by bad men, but when God talks about it, it is the safest place to be. In chapter 2 verse 24 and 25 for this reason, a man shall leave his mother, join his wife, and they should become one flesh and a man, and his wife were both naked and not ashamed.

Total exposure. He says, okay, now the marriage is over. Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field, which the Lord God had made. Okay? The devil, Satan, shows up.

Okay? Did you know that Satan doesn't show up till they get married? Long as they were single, no devil.

They get married, all hell breaks loose. That's because Satan is after the dominion. He's after the rule. He wants to rule this thing. So he'll try to mess you up while you're single so that you're available to him when you get married.

So slick shows up, and he shows up in Adam's home, because he's showing up where they live. And the snake says, hath God said? No, he doesn't say, hath the Lord God said? He says, hath God said?

He wants to keep religion, just kill relationship. Go to church, just don't have a relationship with the God who said it. He keeps God. Satan doesn't mind us being here as long as there's no relationship when we leave here. Praise God. Celebrate. Say amen to the Word. Keep God as you go home.

Just don't take a Lord with you. He drops Lord God, and then he does the coup d'etat, ladies. The devil goes to the woman and skips the man.

That was on purpose, because the woman was supposed to be underneath the man. What he does is he goes to her directly and turns her into the leader, the decision maker, the pace setter. She begins to run the show. She begins to dictate to the house. She begins to be the lady who runs the show. And now all hell breaks loose, because he flips roles. Adam becomes the passive responder, whatever my wife says. The woman becomes the leader. Adam, eat this fruit.

He says, yes, dear. The roles get flipped. He ceases to be God's leader under God. She ceases to be a responder to Adam under Adam. Satan has reversed the roles, and the home is going to show up in chaos.

But get this, men. God comes and says, Adam, where are you? He doesn't say, Adam and Eve, where are y'all?

He says, Adam, where are you? Why? Because you are responsible. If your home is in chaos, even if your wife is at fault, you are responsible because you are the leader. You're saying, well, you're the man.

You say you want to be the leader? Then I'm holding you accountable. In fact, he says in verse 17, because you listen to your wife. In other words, you let how much you love her overrule what I told you. I told you, don't eat the tree. You talking about she brought it to me.

Say what? What you were supposed to say is that's out of line. As for me and my house, we serve the Lord.

That's not how we roll. I love you, honey, but we can't go there because God overrules my love for you. And by the way, that's the same thing for ladies. Ladies, your love for God is supposed to overrule your love for your husband. That's why husbands do not have absolute authority. They have authority underneath the one there to be submitted to, and that's the Lord God. Not absolute authority because you're the man. You're the man under authority, under the Lord God. But all hell breaks loose when the devil is allowed to get into the home.

We got to get back in alignment. That means males under God, women under men, children under parents. The rebuilding of the family God's way. Is your family too far gone to get back in alignment with God's model?

Dr. Evans will return to answer that question in just a moment. So stay with us. First, though, I wanted to mention that today's message is called The Divine Purpose of the Family, and it's available to review again on your own or to share with your friends or small group. It's also part of Tony's complete teaching series called The Kingdom Family, an in-depth look at why God created families in the first place, along with practical advice about how to fight back against the influences that tear homes apart. Don't forget, when you make a donation to Tony's ministry, we'll say thanks by sending you the entire six-part audio series, The Kingdom Family, as our gift to you, along with The Kingdom Family devotional I mentioned earlier. Get the details on this special double offer when you visit us online at TonyEvans.org. That's TonyEvans.org.

Or let one of our friendly team members help you when you call our resource request line at 1-800-800-3222. More and more children are growing up without both parents in the home these days. And Dr. Evans says many of the problems we're experiencing in our society can be traced back to that problem. Be sure to join us next time as he talks about what we can do to change direction.

Right now, though, he's back with a final illustration for today. Now, you can't fix yesterday, but you can say a lot about tomorrow. Maybe you didn't know this.

Maybe you knew it and didn't do anything with it. But on the authority of God's Word, if you will let God redefine who you are and your role, you'll begin to rule instead of being ruled by everything that's happening in this culture, in this society, where our children are being taken over by the devil. The stuff our kids are learning in school, seeing on television, seeing in the movies, they are killing us. God never meant the government to raise your children. He never meant the television to raise your children. He doesn't even want the church to raise your children. He wants a mama and a daddy to raise your children. The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans is brought to you by the Urban Alternative and is celebrating 40 years of faithfulness thanks to the generous contributions of listeners like you.