Loyalty After Hours

Hello, this is Matt Slick from the Matt Slick Live Podcast, where I defend the Christian faith and lay out our foundations of the truth of God's Word. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just a few seconds. Enjoy it, share it, but most of all, thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network. This is the Truth Network. Announcer Coming to you from an entrenched barricade deep in the heart of central North Carolina, Masculine Journey After Hours, a time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered on this week's broadcast.

So, sit back and join us on this adventure. The Masculine Journey After Hours starts here now. Matt Welcome to Masculine Journey After Hours, and we are talking about a topic that, I'll just let Danny introduce it.

You know, you reintroduce it. We just talked about it on the show, but if you didn't listen to the regular show, please go back and listen to it. And we're talking about the topic of... Daniel Loyalty. Matt Loyalty, that's right.

Daniel Yeah, if you're loyal listeners, you'll listen to radio shows, then the podcast. Matt Yeah, let's just gild them right into it. Daniel Next week's topic is guilt. Matt Shame. We're going to do shame, next week.

Daniel Yeah, we're going to do a topic on shame next week. Matt Loyalty, just something that's been kind of birthed out of some stuff I've been going through and, you know, defining that in my own heart. And, you know, defining what gets loyalty and what that means to be a loyal person and why, I guess so. Daniel Yeah, and sometimes it's situational, as we talked about before, situational loyalty, right? But it's growing that ability to be loyal over time, right? As we move closer and closer to Jesus, we should become more and more like him in that transition, right?

The transformation that happens. And so, you know, Robby, you made the point before the show that Jesus was pretty loyal. Do you want to go ahead and talk a little bit about that? You know, one of the best examples of loyalty that you could think of? Matt Yeah, from my perspective, you know, we were talking about what's the difference between loyal and faithful, which is an interesting topic. And to me, people that are loyal are loyal to you in spite of what a clodhead you might be. And if you take the case of Judas Iscariot, Jesus not only loved on Judas right to the very end, asking him, you know, what you're portraying me as a kiss, but he cleansed his feet. In other words, here he is, knowing completely that this person is not going to work out. Yet, he continues to love him. And he has that loyalty that, you know, I think you made a great point on it, Harold, that it really has more to do with who Jesus was, that in fact, has everything to do with who Jesus was, not who Judas was.

Harold Yeah, I like to be a devotee of the papa approach. I am what I am. I'm going to be loyal to me before I'm loyal, or I can't be loyal to anybody else if I'm not loyal to me. And a statement that I've made that my sweetheart kind of objected to, because I don't think she understood it in the sense that I was making it, is I can be friends with anybody, but we're going to be friends on my terms. I'm not giving up what I believe and what I stand for to be friends. Harold If we can be friends and keep my integrity, then we'll be friends.

Otherwise, go somewhere else and find a friend, because I ain't him. Darrell Good point. But, you know, Rodney's your name. Rodney, we were talking before, you know, during the break in between shows that being loyal and disagreeing, they're not the opposite, right? I can disagree and still be loyal, right?

Harold Absolutely. And that's one of the things, I think, like you see today in society, that's one of the big breakdowns we have is just because two people disagree doesn't mean they have to go fight and call each other names and, you know, start tearing down walls and doing all kinds of other things to basically disgrace and shame, like we just said a minute ago. You can disagree and just go, well, this is the reason for my opinion. Okay.

I appreciate that. I can see why you think that and why you came to that conclusion. I just happen to come to a different conclusion, they can should be able to appreciate the reason for your agreeing or disagreeing with whatever you want to do. And, you know, I mean, COVID and getting shots and, you know, political who you're voting for and all that stuff. I mean, okay, you voted for somebody else. Okay, I could still be friends with you.

You know, can't I? Rodney Yeah, and that's a challenge. You know, I think that for me personally, my best friend from college, godfather of my two boys and just a great guy, we're at the opposite ends politically, right? And we kind of learned over this last election primarily, that's probably a topic we don't want to broach with each other.

It won't ruin our friendship, but we're just not going to agree. Yeah, you know, because he's pretty locked in his ways. And I'm pretty locked in my ways.

And I'm open into listening. You know, I want to hear other people's perspectives. Right. But I kind of believe what I believe at this point on some of these things.

But you know, I would have to say, if I needed anything at all, I could call him, I know he would be there. You know, so there's a there's a huge difference and disagreeing on things and being loyal. Right, as you just said, I think that a lot of times we put those as being the same thing. Well, if you don't believe what I believe, then you can't be my friend.

Yeah. And that's just not right. And like we talked about a lot of times, and that's where I've got, you know, a very close personal relationship that's kind of gotten into that for the most part. It's like, well, if you don't agree with me, and if you don't support what I say and what I do, then you're just not a team player. We're not a team.

We're not, we're not in this together. And it's like, that's just very hard to take because it's like, wouldn't the most loyal thing to do would be to be truthful. The truth, you know, needs to come out first.

And it's like, well, sometimes that's hard to take and you don't like it, but really, if you're not being truthful and honest with somebody, you're not their friend and you're not loyal. Agreed. Agreed. Andy, you have a clip on this loyalty topic, right? And it happens to be an Andy Griffith. It does. It does.

It does. I've been inspired by Danny. Yeah. He's a, he's an Andy fanatic. I thought I was the Andy fanatic. And I'm Andy.

Yeah, exactly. And now I'm not talking about myself. You're all about some of you. That's what I say. I'm loyal to me.

Okay. Yeah, that's right. So this clip, Danny actually had, we were working on the clips together and he gave me his, and I thought it was going to be this one that I found and I love his clip on and talking about how, and this is on the previous show, but how Barney was, you know, loyal to the law, but then he was actually more loyal to his friend when, when he got, uh, everything was said and done. But on this one, we've got, um, we've got Barney and Opie and Andy and Floyd have been fishing and they're standing there and this car flies by and this girl's speeding and they chase her down and they ended up keeping her a week to have a court date. And during that week, she kind of manipulates things in her favor to win the case.

And Andy's kind of disappointed in the loyalty of his friends. Uh, next witness, Barney. Mayor, I'd like to question this witness first, if it's all right. Uh, is that all right with you, Ms. Crawley? Barney, would you tell the court in your own words, what happened yesterday?

Well, you and me and Floyd and Opie went fishing. Did you see a convertible on the road? Yeah. Was the defendant driving that convertible?

Yeah. How fast was it going? Uh, when it was, uh, going by us.

That's right. Well, Andy, uh, you know, uh, when a car is going by you and you're standing still, it's awful hard to tell how fast it's going. You know, you and me have talked about that a lot. Well, how fast was the car going when we overtook it? Well, Andy, by the time we got to it, it was stopped. Barney, how fast was the car going when we was in full pursuit and you was looking at the speedometer, clocking her speed? Andy, don't you think we're making a little bit too much out of it?

What was that? I said, I think we're making a little bit too much out of it. Yes, I think you're making too much out of it. Step down, call the next witness. Listen, I'm sure of it. All right, Opie Taylor. Take for 10.

Hi, son. Where'd you get that? Miss Crowley gave it to me.

Photographed by the New York Yankees. All of them. She gave it to me for nothing. Ain't she a nice lady? Yeah, I know when I'm late. Well, uh, the prisoner's done both of them. Well, it seems the court can't come up with a witness against you, Miss Crowley, so therefore the case is dismissed.

You're free to go. Well, fine day's work. You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court.

And you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my sight. Oh, I can understand a shiny autographed baseball turning a little boy's head, but I am a little disappointed in Floyd. And I'm real disappointed in my deputy. He's a law officer. No better.

Congratulations, ma'am. You've acquired a day's work. So, yeah, um, you know, obviously some betrayal there wasn't exactly an example of loyalty, but Sam and the team pointed out that, you know, you do see a certain amount of loyalty to Andy back. I mean, he could, he was disappointed in what had happened to him and how his friends had sold him out. But, uh, you know, he didn't throw him under the bus fully.

He was disappointed. But again, that's what we were, uh, Rodney was just talking about. You'd be disappointed if somebody disagree with somebody, but yet still be loyal.

And, you know, if there was ever an example of somebody being loyal, it would be Andy Griffith. Yeah. And he, in that part of the clip, you know, he spoke his heart, but he never wants to attack the character. He never wants to attack, you know, any of their integrity stuff. Right.

He just spoke how he felt. And even in the midst of that, he was loyal to them. Right. You know, and I think it goes a lot to say, it's easy to be loyal to those that are loyal to you.

You know, how loyal are you to the ones that aren't loyal to you? Right. And, you know, and if God's calling you to do it, you kind of need to do it.

Yeah. You get into that thing sometimes of boundaries of people were running over you and stuff like that, but having a heart to be loyal when people are not. You know, you see the example of Jesus saying, you know, even though you may betray me, I'll never betray you, the statement from Paul in the New Testament. But, you know, there's just, there's an opportunity to get disgusted with it and then, you know, try to, you know, get back at somebody or say, or this is what I think I choose, I tend to do, and a lot of people do, I think it's like, well, forget it. I can't be hurt by disloyalty if I don't engage, so I disconnect and pull back. But then there's really no relationship left of that if you do that every time. So it's tough, but sometimes you just have to stick it in.

God, where can I be loyal to this person that's not been faithful or loyal to me? Yeah, I really enjoyed the way you kind of threw up that reference of, it was Paul in the New Testament. You know, it really narrowed that right down.

I didn't, I'm posing, right? Okay, we'll do that, we'll do that next week. Okay, yeah, back to the shame topic of next week. I'm sorry, couldn't give you a chapter and verse there. That's okay, I didn't even know the quote, that's how bad it was. So, you know, you're way up on me.

So I went and did a little research, as you might imagine. And you might be surprised, I am, that you won't find the word loyal in the King James Version of the Bible. And it's not in there, not in the New or Old Testament.

So, you know, I was looking for the Hebrew, you knew I was. They didn't have loyalist. Loyalty or loyalist, neither one of them.

So loyalist. So NIV uses the word faithful sometimes as translated as loyal in the NIV version. But, you know, and they were talking about King David literally being loyal to Saul, which is an interesting, you know, example of loyalty or what we would, you know, biblically think of as faithful. So then I went to look at the word faithful, which obviously I'm very familiar with, but I saw something I never saw before. And it, man, it just struck me like an egg and brick that the root of the word faithful is mom. Okay.

I'm just telling you the Hebrew for mom is om, you know, alpha mem and aleph mem. And so you're like, oh my gosh, look at that. It's right there.

And it's a feminine, it's a feminine noun. Okay. Because when you think about it and immediately I thought, gee, once you have adult children, watch your wife.

Okay. Because man, they, I can't tell you the things that I've seen my wife endure to say that she has remained loyal would be an understatement. You know, like the, you have a face only a mother could love.

Well, that has to do with loyalty. I mean, it, it, you have a behavior that only a mother would love. You know, those are things that, that actually that feminine heart of God, right? And I know for some, this might be hurtful cause your mom wasn't that faithful or, but what, what God had intended for you in that original connection when you were born was this person that would completely love you completely be loyal to you, be everything to you with expecting nothing in return. And, you know, it's a, it's a beautiful connection that we were supposed to have with our mothers and hopefully you did. But God is in the restoration thing and it's, and it's clear to me when I look at the behavior of certain people that, wow, that, wow, they're still acting out the fact that they did not have that connection with their mother and they never had it. And so they still need their, their, their self-worth. They, you know, teach at Walden Hart that we get self-worth from our mom where we get, we have what it takes from our dad. Right.

And, and so you see people that are struggling there. It's really insightful thing to know from my standpoint that, wow, when I think about the word and when I saw that it said, mom, it just like hit me like, oh yeah, it is. And, and I get them to, you've heard me speak to my own mother who was listen to every show I ever did. You know, you couldn't have been more faithful or more loyal than, than my mom really was.

It was a beautiful thing. Thank you, Robby. Danny, did you want to share what you talked about on loyalty, the story you told us, or is that something you'd prefer not to share?

Yeah, I'll share it. Okay. Back in another lifetime, back in my drinking and drugging days, I can remember an interchange between me and my dad. And he was basically telling me that if I got locked up in all my foolishness, which was, had great potential to happen, don't call him because he wasn't going to come get me.

He was going to let me live out what I had chosen to be. And I remember making the arrogant statement, well, don't worry about it. I got friends that'll take care of me. I'm thinking about this loyal crowd I was hanging out with.

It would probably steal something and help you look for it. But, and so fast forward to 1994 in treatment and the guys that are trying to help us change our life is telling us, don't count on these friends. They're not coming.

They're not sending you. And you'll be surprised how scattered they are. Cause dad ironically used to call them my thick and thin friends.

He said, when things get thick, they'll thin out. And that panned out to be true because prior to all these people, I would have told you were my dear friends. I never heard from them again.

Or if I run into them, it was almost like I had the plague or something like that. And they've just, and so, you know, I misunderstood loyalty is what I'm getting at, but you know, just, just spend a little bit of time with my father and mother today who have been loyal through thick and thin. So that's pretty neat. Thank you, Danny. I, uh, you know, if you're out there and you're thinking, well, of course they were like that, you know, it was in the, the, the other life, right. It was in the lifestyle they lived, you know, my story that God kind of brought to me during our first show, uh, actually involved the church, you know, and I've shared a little bit about it, but when we were in, in Indiana, we were in a church and we were in an amazing small group with some people, you know, it was a couples group, you know, there are a couple of single people in there, but it's primarily couples group. And we were close. I mean, we'd walked together through a lot of life things, you know, looking back, we really didn't talk about, uh, things that woundedness and things that the depth that we needed to, we just supported each other, you know, we moved down here, um, from Indiana and, you know, of course, you know, they gave us a going away party and all that, and I'm not judging them.

I'm just talking from my feelings, right. Um, there was a lot of talk, well, we'll come see, uh, you know, it's not that far. We loved it. The love the Carolinas.

Um, I could, uh, on one finger, I, uh, no fingers. I could tell you the, the amount of people that really reached out to us two months after we moved, there were a couple, you know, things right after we moved, but within two or three months, the communication stopped. Not one person has ever come down here, you know, to, to, to see us. And it's been, and God replaced that group with you guys and, you know, great things in our lives and I'm not judging them. They had other things going on, but sometimes that disloyalty is, is not from where you expect it right from the church family or from the family family.

You know, honestly, sometimes I think we expect it more from our family family than we do the church family, you know, but it can happen there as well, you know, and, and it made me not want to connect for a long time, you know, because it just left this taste of, I don't know if I can trust the relationships because my filter was way off. Right. And that's where the enemy gets the foothold and really wants to drive that wedge. Right. And so it, we were talking off air, but, you know, I bet you listening out there, you could probably name on your hand much quicker the times people were disloyal to you than the times that they were loyal to you and the passion around it would be pretty significant as well.

Yeah. And I think that's where we were talking earlier. You can remember the disloyal times to you more than you can remember the loyal times to you as well as, Oh, I've been disloyal versus being loyal. But that's where you were just talking about that, Danny. It was just bringing me back to a time when my son was struggling. He thank, thank the Lord that he didn't get as far off the rails as you got in your life. You know what I mean, Danny?

I appreciate it. Yeah. You know, but you've been, But I bet, you know, he, he's told me he, he's like, he, I love listening to Danny because Ben had a time in his life where he struggled. He, you know, he, he just, you know, doing small drugs, this and that. He wasn't, he wasn't concentrating in school.

He didn't have his wife together. And I can remember, you know, thinking, well, what am I going to do about all this? Like, I've got to take control and I've got to just straighten him out.

And I just got to do this and that. And there was a part of me, I was like, okay, I'm thinking, you know, here, like, I think I was just kind of yet being loyal to him and who he was. Cause yes, you were, he was screwing up his life, but kind of like your dad, you know, like, well, if that's what you're going to go do, you're going to have to be responsible for that.

You're going to have to go out and live in that. And yeah, if you ended up in jail from it, don't call me either. But, you know, it was just trying to love him through that and be his father first and his friend second. And to see him, you know, just graduate recently and, you know, just work, work himself through that. And he's in a great community of believers and he's, you know, they're always doing their Bible study and they're in a great group. He's got a great group of friends, you know, just a little while ago, not too long ago, it was like, get me the heck out of Charlotte.

Get me back home to Winston. Cause he had a set of friends here, but he made the wise choice of, no, I need to be loyal to God first and walk in my godly friends. Cause his friends here aren't godly.

And it's like, who influences who, right? And we've talked about that a lot. And it's just one of those things where it's, you know, like, man, he really is walking in the loyalty to God and who he is in Jesus first and staying with his friends down there in Charlotte and he loves to be there. And he's like, man, man, I really wanted, when he graduated, I really want to stay in Charlotte two years later after he was saying, no, I didn't want to be down at all. So it's just great to have that community of brothers and sisters in Christ that give you that strength to move on and go forward. Darrell Bock Thank you. I think an exercise, at least I would say it would be good for me to do, but I would say it's probably good for all of us to do is – Darrell Bock Some pull-ups and push-ups? Darrell Bock Yeah, probably. And we'll talk about that off the air.

No, I can't do either one. It would be to sit down and say, God, help me remember the times people have been loyal in my life, right? You know, maybe it's not one that's been a lifelong relationship. But I promise you there's been seasons, right? When chips are really down and you really need somebody, God will put somebody in your life to help you get past it. You know, a friend of the show, a friend that's been on the show lots of times, Darren, you know, he's a big part of the show, starting the show and starting the ministry and things like that. You know, there was a season that, oh, my gosh, if he wasn't there, I don't know what I would have done going through my divorce.

You're going through all the things around my divorce. You know, I can't tell you the times that he heard me, you know, as angry as you can ever hear anybody or as low as you can hear anybody, you know, and he was always there to listen. It didn't matter what time I called. It didn't matter what it was.

It didn't matter what else he had going on. You know, and without that source, yes, I needed God, but I had God through Darren in lots of times because I was at a disconnect place emotionally with God during some of that. You know, and I look back, and I'm so grateful that he stood in that gap, you know, to help me kind of get through and to talk me off the ledge or to talk me out of how I was feeling or help me have perspective, right? And just to sit back and say, okay, God, just, you know, like we do in the fathering exercise, you know, when we talk about it at boot camp when someone does the father by God talk, right? But to go and say, okay, God, let's do a loyalty exercise. Help remember all these times that you've really brought people in my life to be loyal. I have a pastor friend of mine who's kind of a sage in my life.

He actually introduced me to the John Eldridge wild at heart stuff, and he says that if people are put in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, sometimes all three, and that has been a good gauge for me is that, you know what, not everybody's lifelong friends, but they are in a season, and, you know, I think a lot of Jim Vitti, who is in Ashboro, and, you know, what a loyal friend he has been. I mean, I had a situation, we were getting ready to sell a place, and I needed some work done, and I had cut my finger, so I couldn't do much. I was kind of, and I called him and asked him would he do it, and before I could find out when he was, he said, I'll be over there in 20 minutes, and he was there and did what I wasn't meaning then, but he, boom, you know, and so, and it involved digging and all that stuff, so a friend with a shovel is a true friend, I think, so kind of what he's going to use the shovel for, I guess, so.

Yeah, say that again. I like that what you said about a friend with a friend with a shovel. No, no, a friend, the reason, season. People in your life are reason, a season, or a lifetime, or sometimes all of the above.

Yeah, and I kind of experienced that. I had a friend that kind of helped me go through things when I was separated, and he had been there and done that and experienced it and really helped me walk through that, and he's a guy that I can just call up anytime and know that, and I do, I'm the same way for him, and we'll go sometimes months without talking to each other, and I've got so many, so many friends and you guys in my life that provide that, that there's that loyalty whether you're consistently seeing each other or not, and that is something great to fall back on, but one of the points I wanted to make, too, is when you really get into the loyalty, the loyalty goes to God first, and there's so many things calling for our attention and trying to get it and break our loyalties, but Jesus talked about he brought the sword to divide, and if you loved anything more than him, that loyalty, that was the wrong kind of loyalty. You've got to really focus in on him, and I think that is the foundation of our loyalties. We learn how to be loyal through our relationship with him. Yeah, and I think another, thank you, Andy, another great exercise would be to, so God, remind me of all the times you've been loyal to me, right? The times that, you know, I thought that no one was there for me, that you had my back, which is all the time, we just don't see it, but remind me and help me see where you're there for me now, right? Loyalty is key, and he's the key holder on all of our loyalties. This is the Truth Network.