The Care & Maintenance of Your Child | Part 1

From the Love Word Finding studios in Memphis, Tennessee, I'm Byron Tyler. Here with Kerry Vaughn, the CEO of Love Word Finding. Kerry, we continue the message series, Super Glue for the Family. Today's message with Adrian Rogers, the care and maintenance of your child. Oh, that's the hard work, right?

It is. Raising children, that's the hard work. But, you know, I know that many times leadership is caught along the line. You know, our kids are watching us and how we live and how we live out the word in our homes. You know, I taught a Sunday school class years ago, a boys class, and we were talking about, you know, the things we watch, the things we listen to. And one of the boys in the class was just very vocal.

He said, you know, I don't mind giving up the music I listen to, but my parents listen to things that I don't think they should listen to. You know, you can have these double standards in the home. You've got to be so careful when you're raising children. Well, and you can't be lukewarm, right?

You can't straddle the fence. And we hear that here in this sermon, this message today. And also what really stood out to me is many people communicate, but very few connect. So are we connecting with our children? I believe that the greatest threat to Christian children today, believe it or not, is not persecution. I believe that the greatest threat to our children today is lukewarm Christianity, where they are raised in homes and churches, where the word of God is not emphatically taught and believed, and where the Spirit-filled life is not demonstrated. These children learn through their eyes and through their ears and through their eyes.

They learn through observation and other ways, a form of Christianity that is so far from the biblical norm. And like produces like. And I believe that is a real danger. Hard on the heels of that is another danger, and it is pornography and perverted views of sex. And there's a river of sludge that's flowing over America today that is distorting the idea of true love and family values.

And it is a real danger. It's enough to keep parents with their face in the book and their knees on the floor. Well, Carrie, in our text today, Mark 10 13, Jesus reveals his great love for children and their tremendous importance to his kingdom.

Absolutely. You know, train up a child and the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. And so I tell you another nugget that I pulled out of this sermon was the conversion, not just the communication, but the conversion. And I was blessed as a dad. Years ago to lead both my Children to the Lord. We were coming home from church. I pulled over on the side of the road, and we had a great conversation. And God allowed me to be a part of that.

I will never forget it. We carry this month. We have a great resource from love. We're finding that's available. And you want to tell us about it?

I do. It's entitled His Story, talking about his creation, his covenant, his cradle, his cup, his crown, his cross, his conquest, and definitely his coming. These are eight powerful messages. From Adrian Rogers shares the whole Bible story in a very simple but profound way for your gift this month. We'd like to send you a copy of his story.

And, you know, this book will not only increase your head knowledge, but more importantly, it will increase your heart knowledge. We have some great ministry services back with us this week in the studio. Nicole, how are you doing?

What do you have for us? Well, Byron, I have another testimony from a listener that we received in. And I just wanted to share it with you real quick.

This listener wrote in and said, I first found love worth finding on the radio during my work commute. It was a great encouragement to me and helped me grow as a young Christian. Thirty years later, I still love listening to Pastor Rogers teachings. Praise Jesus. Thank you for your ministry. This testimony, Byron, just reminds me of how timeless the truth of God's word really is. No matter how young or how old a person is in their faith walk, truth never changes.

Yet, Byron, truth does change us from the inside out by the renewing of our minds. Oh, I love that, Nicole. That is a great word and a great, I mean, 30 years continuing to listen to the ministry. What a blessing. Oh, that really fuels us here at Love Worth Finding.

And for people to let us know how long they've been getting the messages of Adrian Rogers and how they've been benefiting from those. What a great word. I want to talk to you about the care and maintenance of your baby to the hospital. For your little baby to be born, someone were to give you a notice that said something like this. Congratulations. Your baby has come complete with all of the standard equipment. However, yours is a custom made model and there's not another like it in all of the earth. Warning, your baby has been carefully crafted and is extremely delicate.

Be certain to follow the manufacturer's instructions. Or there may be a complete breakdown. Now, folks, a number of people have failed to follow the instructions and there has been a complete breakdown.

What is the cause? Well, one is fathers who have failed. Dads who have failed provide stability, leadership and character and strength for the family. We've got dads today who are preoccupied with business, with sports, with sex, with everything else except raising their children. But not only failing fathers, we have misdirected and misguided mothers.

Mothers who have a different standard and a different priority than old fashioned mothers used to have. The Bible clearly warns in the book of Proverbs chapter 29 and verse 15 that a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. And yet America's children are being left to shame. They are left to themselves and the television has become the major babysitter. These children are farmed out to daycare centers or other places. I've already said that we respect the woman who must work to put bread on the table and a roof on the head and clothes on the back.

But what about those who are working for the luxuries, not the necessities? Do you know that the television now has taken the place of the mother and it has become America's first babysitter? Do you know what your children are watching on television? Did you know that alcohol, listen to me, is served ten times more than any other drink on television? The next is coffee. But for every cup of coffee that's served on television, there'll be some serving of an alcoholic beverage. Every time your child sees somebody drink something, most of the time on television, it will be an alcoholic beverage. If there's a sexual liaison, it is depicted as outside the marriage relationship.

It is either adultery or fornication or sodomy. The reason that many people think their children are doing so well is that many people don't know what their children are doing. Yet God has given us some rules in His manual on the care and the nurture of children.

I want to make the message very simple and simple. The Bible says in Proverbs 22 and verse 6, train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Now, in this area of communication, let me give you some steps. Number one, begin early.

Get this in your mind now. Begin early. When do you start training a child? As soon as that child is born, you say, oh, no, oh, yes. As soon as that child is born, that child should be laid in its mother's arms for that bonding that is there.

That training cannot begin too soon. It is virtually impossible to spoil a child the first year of life. That child must be loved and loved and loved and loved some more. The Bible says train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Listen to Proverbs 22. Proverbs 19 and verse 18, chasten thy son while there is hope. That is, while he is young, before he gets too old to be chastened. Proverbs 13 and verse 24, he that spareth his rod hateth his son, but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. And that word betimes literally means he chastens him early. He chastens him at the right time.

He doesn't wait until it's too late. It is amazing what little children can learn. Think about it.

I have a grandson who was over at my school. Listen, folks. That little child, a year old, is learning a language as difficult as English.

Think about it. Many of you say, oh, I'd like to learn another language other than my own. I'm talking about little children. If you think that's amazing, did you know some little kids can learn Japanese? Some learn all kinds of exotic languages.

They are learning. Listen to what God's Word says in Isaiah chapter 28, verses 9 and 10. To whom shall he, that is, God, speak knowledge? And whom shall he make to understand doctrine, listen, them that are weaned from the milk and drawn from the breasts? Did you hear what God says? God said, give me a child who is just being weaned from his mother's milk, and I'll teach that child doctrine. Think about it.

And how is he going to do it? Well, he goes on to tell us in verse 10. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little, there a little, here a little, there a little. There a little, just with a tidbit here, a tidbit there, a tidbit here, and the child is listening, absorbing, absorbing, absorbing. What a wonderful time to teach when we have these little children. I'll tell you why.

Their curiosity level is at an all-time high. What is the favorite word of the little toddler in your house other than no? Why? Why, Daddy? Why, Mama?

Why? They don't get exasperated when they keep asking why. That's a God-given instinct.

They are a little intellectual sponge. What an opportunity, because the curiosity factor is so high, and the trust factor is so high. Little children will believe you, so be careful what you tell little children. Don't be like that mother who said, now, if you tell another lie, there's a man, a little green man who lives on the moon who will make you pick up sticks the rest of your life. Listen, children will believe what you say.

What a wonderful opportunity. Jesus said that we who are adults need to have a trust factor like little children. We need to become like little children. Children have a God-given innate ability to believe. That's the reason the Bible tells us in 2 Timothy 3, verse 14, Paul says, but continue, he's talking to Timothy, continue thou in the things thou hast learned, and hast been assured of. Well, evidently, Timothy was a great theologian. Well, how did he learn these things, and how was he assured of them?

Knowing from whom thou hast learned them, now watch it, and that from a child, from a child thou hast known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith, which is in Jesus Christ. When should you begin? You can't begin too soon. Tomorrow that baby won't be rocked. Tomorrow that toddler won't be asking why. Tomorrow that teenager will not need help with his homework.

Begin early. Secondly, you must learn to see that your child is unique. There's not another one like your child.

That's the reason I said you become the owner of a brand new baby, but yours is a custom model. The word he shall not depart from it. The word way and the way that he should go is a Hebrew word that literally roots back to the idea of bending a bow.

People would select a rod out of a tree in order to make a bow to shoot an arrow with, and that bow would have a particular bend in it, a particular set in it. That's the idea that your child comes into this life with what we would call a dent, a proclivity, a disposition, a temperament. God put together uniquely in his genes and his chromosomes a child that has a particular way that he should go. So the way you raise one child is not the way you would raise another child.

Children are different. They had a disposition that was completely different from the other disposition, and Cain slew Abel. Both of them came from the same womb. You think in the Bible about Absalom and Solomon. These were both children of David. Solomon was David's son who reigned in a stead.

Absalom was David's son who rebelled against him. Same family. Think about Jacob and Esau. Same family. But think how different Jacob and Esau were. I think about our four children, how unique they are, how different each one of them is, and how we need to find out from each child the way that he should go. And friend, there's nobody at daycare who can do that for you.

Nobody can do that for you. Did you know Thomas Alva Edison was sent home from school, and you know what the teacher said about Thomas Alva Edison? Said he's too dumb to learn and sent him home. You know what his mama said? His mama said, I know my boy, and he is not stupid. He's smart. And I'll teach him myself. And she did. The problem was that the teacher was so dumb she couldn't realize how smart the boy was.

Not that he was so dumb. You see, every child is different. I'm not trying to put a guilt trip on those of you who must put your children in daycare, but I'm telling you you've got to double up somewhere else. See to it, dear friend, that you know the unique proclivities in your child. See your child as unique before God, and learn to communicate with that child creatively.

Listen to Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 6 and 7. Now people are always saying, pastor, how do we have family worship? How do we have family altar?

How do we teach our children? I believe in family altar, but I don't believe that family altar is the best time to teach the children. If you try to make your major teaching family altar, your kids will get sick of it. It'll be like another class. You sit still while we end still. Family altar will become like cod liver oil. A dose a day will keep the devil away.

And they won't want it. Let your family altar be brief. Oh, there'll be times when you have extended times, when it gets to be fun, or they're asking questions and they want to know more.

You might talk for hours. Sometimes our family's going into the night past midnight discussing the Word of God. But old friend, if you learn to teach the Bible creatively, the Bible says when you rise up, when you lie down, when you walk in the way, that's the way Jesus taught his disciples. He said, behold, a sower went out to sow.

Consider the lilies. Everything that Jesus saw was an opportunity to teach. How many wonderful ways there are to teach your children. Be creative.

And hey, there's nothing wrong with having fun. As a matter of fact, let me tell you how to raise kids. Be firm, be fair, be fun. That's it.

That's the whole thing just in a nutshell. And let them enjoy Bible games, Bible stories, Bible baseball, Christian books, Christian music. Learn how to challenge your kids.

We don't get creative enough. There's a motivational speaker. His name is Charles Tremendous Jones. He's a great guy and he knows how to motivate people. But he's a Christian. He loves the Lord. This is what he said.

I thought it was a tremendous idea. He said to his boy, when his boy was 14, he said, son, in two years you're going to be able to get a driver's license. And you're going to want a car. And he said, son, I want you to have a car.

And I want to help you to pay for your car. But, son, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Son, I have some books I want you to read and write a report on.

And I'll give you $10 for every book that you read and write a report on it. Now, he said, get started. And he said, remember, if you read as you ought to read, if you read in style, you'll drive in style.

That's like a bummer. I think that's a smart father. Now, of course, it'll take more than $10 a book today to get that kid a car. But the point is that he knew how to encourage him.

He didn't simply ram it down his throat. Listen, communicate creatively. And then I would say this in communicating with your kids. Learn to be real. I have many faults. And I'm not about to let my children stand up here and testify to my faults because they might be too honest. But I'll tell you one thing. I'm not afraid to say this. My kids know I'm real.

I'm not bragging. They know I love God. They know their mother loves God. They know I'm not a phony. They know I'm not a hypocrite. They know their mother is not a hypocrite.

They know we believe what we preach and we believe what we teach. You see, and one of the reasons they believe that is we've been real enough to admit when we've made mistakes. Not only have I had to apologize to my wife, I've had to apologize to my children. And I still sometimes find myself thinking up things that maybe I haven't yet apologized to and apologized to my grown children for things I did when they were little children just to keep the record straight because I fail and we all fail. But children do not demand perfection, but children hate hypocrisy.

They can spot a phony a mile away. One girl said to her, Dad, Dad, you taught us how to succeed. But, Daddy, you didn't teach us how to fail. We need to teach our kids how to fail. We need to let them see our faults.

We need to let them see our failures. We need to come to them and say, Sweetheart, I was wrong the way I talked to your mama. I've asked mama to forgive me, and I've asked God to forgive me, and I won't ask you to forgive me. What I said or what I did was wrong. Will you forgive me? Or I spoke harshly to you. Or I mistreated you.

Will I judge you? Friend, listen, be real. Your kids don't demand perfection, but they do demand reality. So what I'm saying is, number one, communication, okay?

Number two, here's the second thing. Not only communication, but correction. Learn to correct your child. Ephesians chapter 6 and verse 4. And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Someone has pointed out that some men spend more time training their dogs than they do the children.

Then they tie the dog up at night and let the children run wild. Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. And that literally means in the discipline and the admonition of the Lord. This is an important lesson, but maybe as you've listened today, you have a prayer request or there's some burden that has stirred in your soul. We would love to come alongside you and pray with you and for you. If you can, go to our homepage at lwf.org slash radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. You'll find the option to submit a prayer request there or pray for others. This is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry and the community praying continually for one another. Let us hear from you today. Well, we're so glad you've joined us for our study in God's word today. Be sure to sign up for our daily heartbeat emails. You'll get daily devotions and message links sent straight to your inbox. You can find out more at lwf.org slash radio and join us tomorrow for the insightful conclusion of the care and maintenance of your child right here on Love Worth Finding. We'll be right back.