Seven Words that Can Build a Marriage | Part 2

Do you have all you need to be content in your home?

Listen to Adrian Rogers. Learn the secret of contentment. Learn that you can get along without almost anything except one another and God. If you have God, you have one another. You have something to wear and something to eat.

That's all you need. The Bible says having food and clothing. Raymond, let us therewith be content. If you and wife are you and husband, have God and one another, you have all you need to be content. Welcome to Love Worth Finding, featuring real truth that never changes, found in the teaching of pastor and author Adrian Rogers. God designed the divine institution of marriage and has given us the tools to create blessed homes. In part one of today's message, we learn that faith, acceptance, and contentment are crucial in a Godly marriage. Once we accept our God-given roles in the relationship and learn contentment in the home, we'll receive the blessing of a harmonious marriage. If you have your Bible, turn to 1 Peter chapter three as Adrian Rogers begins part two of seven words that can build a marriage.

How are we going to have the kind of a home that God wants us to have? May I give you seven simple words. Now, the outline today, all you have to do is just write down seven words, but these seven words are going to come out of this passage of scripture that we're looking at today, and if you will take these seven words and inculcate them, I believe I can promise to you a successful family. The first word is faith, F-A-I-T-H. Now look, if you will, in 1 Peter chapter three, verse five, for after this manner in old time the holy women also, now watch this phrase, who trusted in God. I'm just going to stop reading right there, and then go down to verse seven. Likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, as being heirs together of the grace of life. Now, the grace of life means the power of God that comes into your life through faith.

It's very obvious that in spite of all of their faults and the peccadelos, Abraham and Sarah had an abiding faith in God. You know what the Bible says? The Bible says a three-fold cord is not easily broken. When you take one strand, you may break it. Wrap it with another strand, it's harder to break. But three-fold cords are most difficult to break. What is the three-fold cord that binds our homes together? The man, the woman, and God.

A three-fold cord is not easily broken. Second word, not only the word faith, here's the second word, acceptance. Acceptance. Look now in chapter three and verse one. Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may without the word be won by the behavior of the wives. We accept one another. A headship for the husband does not mean the husband has greater privileges.

It means that he has greater responsibility. But we accept who we are. We accept our God-given roles.

Sir, if you don't accept the headship that God has given you in the home, you are a slacker, a shirker, a failure as a husband. And precious lady, if you don't accept God's plan for the home, you have a rebellious spirit. Now, number three, the third word is the word contentment. The word contentment. Look if you will now in verses three and four. Peter's talking about the way that women adorn themselves in dress, and he says, who's adorning?

Let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair and of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man or hidden person of the heart. And that which is not corruptible, underscore the phrase that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and a quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. And then again, 1 Peter 3 verse 7, likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life. Underscore that phrase, heirs together of the grace of life. Now, as you study the life of Abraham and Sarah, you find that God had given them, in spite of all of their faults, a spirit of contentment. Learn the secret of contentment.

Learn that you can get along with almost anything, without almost anything except one another and God. Or let me just invert that, without God and one another. If you have God, you have one another, you have something to wear and something to eat, that's all you need. The Bible says having food and clothing, raiment, let us therewith be content.

If you and wife are you and husband, have God and one another, you have all you need to be content. One man had an enormous fortune and overnight he lost it. I mean, he was a big shot. He was like one of these dot com companies, it just cratered.

He lost it all. They had to sell their big, fine home. They moved into a little apartment. They looked around at this small apartment.

They've been living in luxury. He slumped down in the chair and he said, well, here we are. She said, no, here we are.

Don't you like that? Here we are. We have one another and we have God.

Number four, here's another key word. There's a word forgiveness. Forgiveness.

Look, if you will, again, in verses three, chapter three, verses eight through 10. Likewise be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrary wise, blessing, knowing that ye are there unto call, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, do you love life? Listen. He that will love life and see good days, do you want good days? Listen. Let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile.

All married people must learn to forgive. Now the tornadoes have been sweeping through the Southland, devastating. Sometimes we read, we read of earthquakes in Turkey here recently and seen them destroy homes. But you know what Joyce and I saw the other day in our house? Out of the floor, a little hole about that big, there were coming these termites just pouring out. And they were going all the way across. They were singing the Hallelujah Chorus, just going all the way across our floor. I mean, just coming out, coming out, coming out. I thought, good night.

That floor is so beautiful. And up coming the termites. Well, we called a man and ripped up the wood and killed those critters. And if you're one of these animal writers, I believe in killing termites personally. Kill those critters.

Let me tell you something. Friend, tornadoes are terrible. Earthquakes are horrible. But termites destroy more homes than anything else.

It's the termites that'll get you a home. It's that little spirit of bitterness, that unwillingness to forgive, that spirit that carries a grudge. Now notice what he says here in verse 9, not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrary to the lies, blessing. Somebody does you evil, bless them.

Somebody rails, bless them. I'll give you a lesson. There are three levels of life. One is the hellish level where you give back evil for good.

Some people will do that. That's the hellish level. The second level is the human level, that is good for good and evil for evil. You do me good, I do you good.

You do me, you hurt me, I'll hurt you. Frankly, that's where most people live. That's where a lot of families live. But what he is saying here is the heavenly level is good for evil. Sometimes the wife has to practice it. Sometimes the husband has to practice it. But you learn to forgive.

You learn to bless and don't carry around a grudge, the burden of bitterness. Do you ever get a splinter in your finger? Maybe it's down there deep enough and you see it and you see that little dark spot and you say, well, now I could get that out, but I don't know. You could get a needle and pick it out. Say, well, maybe it'll work its way out and you just leave it there.

Seems to be all right. Then one morning you wake up and you've got this incredible pain and this thing is throbbing. It is festered.

It is infected because you didn't get it out. The Bible says don't let the sun go down upon your wrath. Forgiveness is so important.

I must rush on. Here's the next word. The fifth word is communication.

Communication. Look again if you will in chapter 3 verses 8 through 10. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love his brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrary wise blessing, for thereunto are ye called that ye should inherit a blessing. Here's the verse that deals with communication. For he that would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile. Now Abraham and Sarah were so very different.

So are Joyce and Adrian. So therefore you have to learn to communicate. Proverbs 18, 21 says, death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Again verse 10, for he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile. Now people want intimacy in marriage. The word intimacy, our English word comes from the Latin entomos, which means in most. Men need to learn to communicate. The problem is primarily with the men. I asked Joyce, I said, Joyce, what is the basic problem in marriage communication?

She didn't hesitate. She said, men. Men! Have you ever noticed guys, they're women, they, whatever it is, they say it in three letters, men.

And that is true. We are the basic problem in communication. Plan to communicate. Make room, make time for communication. Every man, and woman for that matter, ought to plan four dates.

You know what those dates ought to be? Number one, you ought to plan a date with God. You ought to have a quiet time with God every day. Number two, you ought to plan a date with your kids. Joyce and I try to spend time with our kids and our grandkids personally. And have a date with yourself when you get alone. Sit down and think and pray and are quiet, just meditating on what you want to do. And then have a date with your spouse.

Go somewhere, get out of the house, and avoid all emotional and sensitive subjects, and just love one another. Now here's the sixth thing, and I've really got to hurry. Here's the next word, and it is romance.

Romance! Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. Now look at the word dwell. That word dwell literally means to live with. When people are not married and they share the same house, we say they're living together. They're living together.

By the way, you have no right to do that. You're living in fornication and adultery. You say, it's not adultery, we're not married, I'm not married to anybody else. It's adultery against the person you may be married to.

It is certainly contrary to the laws of God, and if you're living that way, you need to stop it. But the Bible says that husbands and wives, those who are married, are to dwell together. And the word literally means to share or has the implication of sharing the same bed. And what it is talking about here is the romance that is in marriage. Never let the physical part of your marriage grow cold. Actually, the word here says giving honor to the wife.

Do you see that? The word giving honor comes from a root word, which means precious. You see your wife as someone as something precious. When you give honor to a person, what you're saying to that person is this, that I believe in you. Everybody needs somebody to whom they are number one. I said in our home, Joyce is number two, but I'm talking about of all human relationships, she's number one.

I am number one in her life, and she's number one in my life. And how do you give honor? Well, one way that you give honor is a sincere compliment. When I preach and somebody says to me, Pastor, I was blessed by that, that's a blessing to me, and if you want to do it, it's fine.

I mean, if you don't want to do it, I feel sorry for you, but that's fine. But now listen, there are times when I preach a dog won't even wag his tail at me. But if Joyce will say, that was good, that means something to me. A husband wants to be admired, and this admiration. A wife wants to be admired, and it literally means giving honor. And you need to honor the person that you're married to.

And all of this is under the heading of romance, because it's all part of it. You give honor not only privately, but publicly. And you honor your wife. Never make any cheap jokes about your wife.

They're not funny. Everybody needs about ten hugs and ten compliments a day. Everybody does. Joyce and I walk in the mornings. When the weather's nice, we walk outside sometimes on a treadmill. But there's a place on our walk where there's a curve about as far as from here to the back of this room. I call it the compliment curve. And the whole time we're walking that thing, we're giving one another compliments. Just as many compliments as we can give. By the time we're walking on that walk, we do it in the mornings.

Just giving out compliments. And then at the end of that compliment curve is a telephone pole. I call it the passion pole.

Right there, I give her a hug and a kiss, and she gives me a hug and a kiss. And then we go a little bit further. There's a little sharp corner. That's the critical corner.

We get around that as quick as we can. If you have anything bad to say, you better say it now, because we're going around this corner, and we're going to get that thing out. Friend, keep the romance there. Keep the joy there. Keep the excitement there.

Don't ever let anybody tell you to grow up. On my way home, I'm grateful for a cell phone. I call her, and I say, this is Love Mobile calling in.

I'll be home, baby. In five minutes, you sensitize your lips. Seriously. Keep the romance there.

I have a crush on that gal. Last of all, prayer. Prayer, that's the seventh word.

Look at it again. 1 Peter 3, verse 7, Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Learn to pray together.

Pray it through. It's more than trite to say that the family that prays together stays together. Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain.

Except the Lord build the house, the laborer is in vain. Learn to pray together. Now, you say, Pastor Rogers, that's a very strange thing because you gave us seven words about having a successful home, but you never mention love. You never mention love. Friend, all of these are facets of that one thing called love. They're all facets of love. Now, God knows Abraham and Sarah were not perfect, and God really knows that Adrian and Joyce are not perfect.

Joyce comes close, but I'm light years away. But I'll tell you one thing, were it not for God, we never would have made it. I know the arrogance in my own heart. I know my native inclination to selfishness and pride and obstinacy, but I'm so grateful for a Christian home.

Now, some are saying, Pastor Rogers, I heard this message too late. My home's in shambles. We've been divorced.

Are you talking about a Christian home? I'm not even married, and maybe I just, all the good guys or good gals seem to be taken. Maybe I'm destined to live a single life. And really, what you've done maybe to encourage some people and instruct others just made me sad today, because frankly, that's not the picture of my life.

I don't see a future like you've described. I wish I could have a home that way, but I don't know that I can. Let me say something to you.

You're not a second-class citizen. God loves you. God has a wonderful plan for your life. God has a plan for the single life as well as for the married life. That's another sermon, but it's a wonderful plan.

I'll tell you something else. If you have blown it and messed up, our God is a God of grace and forgiveness, and you never forget that. And God can mend a broken life if you give Him all the pieces and say, well, I don't have a family. You can have a family.

You can have a big family called Bellevue if you want it. What a wonderful family our church family is as a way for all of us. And if you're hungry for God, you want to know that you're saved beyond the shadow of any doubt, would you pray and say, dear God, I am a sinner, and I'm sorry for my sin. I need you and I want you. Jesus, you died on that cross and shed your blood to pay for my sin.

Thank you for doing that. I open my heart. By faith now, like a child, I receive you into my life as my Lord and Savior.

Take control of my life and begin now to make me the person you want me to be. And help me, Lord Jesus, never, ever to be ashamed of you. Jesus, I'll make this public this morning. I will not be ashamed of you. In your name I pray.

Amen. And if you prayed to receive Jesus just now, we would love to celebrate with you and invite you to our Find God's Love page on the website. There you'll find answers you may need about your newfound faith. Simply go to lwf.org slash radio and click on the tab that says Find God's Love.

Welcome to the family of God. We can't wait to hear from you today. Now if you'd like to order a copy of this message in its entirety, you can call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD. Mention the title Seven Words That Can Build a Marriage.

You can also order online at lwf.org slash radio or write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. We are not perfect people and we will not have perfect marriages, but if we build our homes upon these seven words, our love will flourish. Pray for your spouse today and for your family that you would build up a marriage that builds up each other. And we hope you'll join us next time for more from Adrian Rogers right here on Love Worth Finding. I want to take a moment to share a message we received from a long time listener who said this. When I first started listening in 2005, Pastor Rogers' sermons provided hope for me and for others. I've read most of his books and recorded many sermons. This man and his knowledge of the word of God and his love for our Lord Jesus brought me home to our Father.

My life has meaning now. What an honor it is to continue sharing these timeless messages that give hope and inspire you to grow in your faith. When you give a gift to the ministry this month of Love Worth Finding, we want to thank you by sending a copy of our new book titled The Music of Marriage. This profound new resource will help couples find or get back to the loving song you were meant to play in marriage. Request a copy of The Music of Marriage the book when you call 1-877-LOVEGOD.