Has the Nuclear Family Bombed? Part 2

What happens when we teach our children the rights and biblical lessons of Adrian Rogers. In part one of today's message, Adrian Rogers began explaining five honorable ways to parent our children, regardless of our imperfections. First, we are to raise them with steadfast, consistent love and with wise encouragement. As parents, we must also limit them, taking firm restrictions to set our children free from the bondage of sin. But how are we to lead them? I cannot, from this pulpit, teach your children to honor you.

That's your responsibility. So I want us to look at it primarily from the parent's point of view, how parents can honor their children so that the children might honor their parents. I want to talk to you primarily about being the kind of mom and dad that is worthy of honor. How do we live in such a way that our children can give us honor? Let me give you some ways. Number one, and I'm going to give you about five ways.

Number one, by loving them. Let's look to the child, what that child needs. Did you know the Bible teaches that we have an awesome weapon? It's called a blessing. When you give children the gift of the blessing, there are few things in life that give them more peace and confidence.

They need strokes, not pokes. They need you to bless them, to say, in the name of Jesus, my child, I bless you. Can you imagine what that does to a child when a dad just picks a child up and puts that child in his arms and says, Billy, I bless you out of heaven. They'll never forget it. My daddy blessed me.

I wonder how many children have been blessed by a daddy, by touching them, by blessing them, by comforting them. I'll tell you another way to love them. That's by listening to them. We think we listen.

I wonder how many times do we ever let them get a full sentence out of their mouth. Before we begin to tell them, uh-huh, now here's what you need to do. Here's what you need to do.

Here's what you need to do. We don't listen. One of the finest forms of communication is saying nothing.

But just simply listening. And if you have a teenager, you have to wait until the right time. Because I'll guarantee you there comes a time when they just clam up and close up. And generally it's when you're so sleepy you want to go to bed about 11 o'clock, they'll start talking. Just let them talk. Just say, I'm going to pay the price.

If I don't sleep, I'm going to sit here. I'm going to listen. And especially if that teenager has a problem in his or her, quote, love life, end of quote, or if they're having problems about their own feelings about themselves, sit down and listen.

Love them steadfastly and consistently. You know, they need to know that mom and dad love them regardless. And folks, listen, give your kids time to go through all these different stages. They're in all kinds of stages. We live in an age now where we want everything and we want it now.

We've got computers and fax machines. Give the kid time. Just be consistent. Love them with your prayers. Pray for them, pray for them, and pray for them some more. Give your children before the throne of grace in prayers. So the first thing I'm saying, number one, is this, you must love them. You show you're the parents worthy of honor by loving them.

Number two, by lifting them. Listen to this verse, Colossians 3, verse 21, fathers, provoke not your children to anger. Now listen to this. Lest they be discouraged. Wise encouragement. Here's the principle. The first principle was real love gives them what they need, not what they want.

Here's the second principle. Wise encouragement is better than lavish praise. Learn the difference between praise and encouragement. They really appreciate it.

There's a real difference there. Listen, encouragement looks at a child and values that child not primarily for what the child achieved, but for who the child is who is achieving it and saying, you can do it. Thank you.

I'm so grateful for you. It's a fine line, but you think about it. How do you love them? How are you worthy? By loving them, by lifting them. By limiting them. By limiting them. Now here's the principle. It takes firm restrictions to set children free.

Hello? It takes firm restrictions to set children free. It is your responsibility to liberate them by limiting them. For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knoweth, because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. He didn't set limits. Your child needs some limits. When God put Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, he gave them all that they needed, but he also gave them some limits.

God said, there's some things you shall not do. Now when you put Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, he gave them all that they needed but he also gave them some limits. If you give your child limits, these limitations will be tested over and over again. The restrictions that you give your child will be tested by that child.

He's going to push against them. And if they move, that child will have no security. But if you set limits, and those limits are firm and reasonable and you love, and remember what Josh McDowell says, the rules without a relationship bring rebellion. But they know you love. You've got those rules.

They push against those rules, and those rules don't move, then they have security. If you don't place limitations on your child to the child, it implies rejection. Now, let me tell you something. We all inwardly desire limitations. We want them. And if you don't conquer your child's will, somebody else will. I'm telling you, if you do not conquer them, they will allow someone else to conquer them. Now, society looks upon setting rules as something bad.

But I want to say for most families, it's one of the toughest and one of the most needful things to do. And you know what's wrong with many of our church kids today? I'm talking about in evangelical churches. There are no more thou shalt's and thou shalt not's. Today, we think perhaps we've gone past the Ten Commandments.

Here's what Josh McDowell said. I was reading a book that he's written about, The Right and Wrong, and he said, they've surveyed the kids in evangelical churches. And he tells about this survey, and I want you to listen to it. He said, we included seven statements in our study of church youth about objective standards of truth and morality. Now, notice this is church youth, your kids. We included seven statements in our study of church youth about objective standards of truth and morality.

Their responses indicate that for the most part, our children echo the world's view. For example, 57% of our young people cannot even say that an objective standard of truth exists. That's church folks. That's church kids. 57% did not even believe there was an objective fixed standard. And 85% of our kids are liable to reason just because it's wrong for you, it doesn't mean it's wrong for me. Do you see what a job has been done on our kids? And then Josh went on to say over half.

55% agree that everything in life is negotiable. Their idea of distinction between right and wrong is fluid, something that is subject to change. Now, Psalm 11 and verse 3 says, if the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? If we don't have foundational truth, that's the reason that we're preaching the series on the Ten Commandments of God. Ted Koppel, ABC's Nightline personality, was addressing the 1987 graduating class at Duke University. Listen to what he said. He said, in the place of truth, we have discovered facts. For moral absolutes, we have substituted moral ambiguity. We now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing.

We have reconstructed the Tower of Babel and it is a television antenna. A thousand voices producing a daily parity of democracy in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit. And then here's what he said.

Now, listen to this. What Moses brought down from Mount Sinai were not ten suggestions. They're commandments. They are and not were commandments. The sheer brilliance of the Ten Commandments is that they codify in a handful of words acceptable human behavior, not just for then or now, but for all time. There was a Christian who went out to Hollywood and he was a Christian in that business and he was listening to Hollywood producers talk. One of television's most successful producers stated his sincere conviction that in any television script that is to be commercially successful, it must violate at least three of the Ten Commandments.

I mean, it's built in. He says, if you wanted to be successful, isn't the devil clever? You know what situational comedy is? It's to cause you to laugh at something. Now, when you laugh at something, you don't take it seriously anymore. And when the devil can get you to laughing at the transgression of the Ten Commandments, you see what he's done?

He says, you don't have to take that seriously. That's comical. And so we have a generation that's laughing its way into hell. And they're being systematically seduced. Madonna was being interviewed by a homosexual publication. And she spoke about the impact that homosexuality in its imagery and music videos is having upon straight America. Now, here's what Madonna said.

Listen to this. They, that is, the American public, digests on a lot of different levels. Some people will see it and be disgusted by it. But maybe they'll be unconsciously aroused by it. People keep seeing it and seeing it and seeing it. Eventually, it's not going to be such a strange thing.

Just keep soaking them in it. Now, that's the reason you as parents need to set some limits. You're foolish, my friend.

If you think that you can watch that and it will not affect you. Can a man take a fire in his bosom and be not burned? You need to set some limits in your home. They need to be reasonable. How are you an honorable parent? By loving them. By lifting them. By limiting them. And by leading them.

Here's the next thing. Now, again, let's go back to that proverb that I mentioned to you, Proverbs 22 and verse 6. Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he's old, he'll not depart from it. What is that word, training?

Now, what is the key word? It's train. To teach without training is to fail in your task. Can anybody learn to play football by reading books? No. What happens when a man goes to training camp at football? Do they all go to the library?

I'll guarantee you not. Watch a man as he trains his hunting dog. It's amazing. We train our dogs and don't train our kids. Then we tie the dog up at night and let the kids run wild. We are to train them. Listen, lead them. Why do you want your children to be? Do you know what all of the emphasis is today?

It is on sports and grades and physical health and popularity and ability, but not on character. Let me give you some words. Contentment, courage, courtesy, discernment, fairness, friendliness, generosity, gentleness, helpfulness, honesty, humility, kindness, obedience, orderliness, patience, persistence, self-control, tactfulness, thankfulness, thriftiness, wisdom. Who is teaching those things? Mom and Dad, it needs to be you. Learn to complement character more than talent.

Train them. We have a member of our church. He has two fine boys, two of the most godly kids I know anything about and one of the most godly mamas in this church beyond the shadow of any doubt. But one of those boys kind of leaped off to his mother. And that dad in our church said, Son, I want to tell you something. When you leaped off at your mother like you did, you sinned against God because God says you're to honor her and you're going to have to answer to God for that. And not only that, but you sinned against her.

She went down into the valley of the shadow of death to bring you into life. How ungrateful you've been to speak to your mother that way. And you're going to have to answer to your mother for that.

I said, I want to tell you something else. Not only is she your mother, she's my wife. You're not going to talk that way to my wife. He just said, you are not going to talk that way to my wife. And now, not only do you have God to deal with and her to deal with, you've got me to deal with because you have disrespected my wife. What kind of a lesson is that to a kid? I think it's one of the greatest things I've ever heard in my life to see a husband come to the protection of his wife even if he has to take sides with her against his own child.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave unto his wife. That's the kind of teaching that I'm talking about. That's the kind of training that we have.

Now here's the last thing. Not only by leading them, but by laughing with them. Oh, I hope that you will let your home be filled with joy and let it be filled with happiness. We need to lighten up.

We need to learn how to laugh in our homes. The Bible has so many wonderful things to say about a merry heart. God puts laughter, God puts joy, God puts sunshine in the home. Did you know that the human species is the only creature of God that can do three things? Laugh and weep and blush.

Think about it. Animals don't blush. Animals don't weep and animals don't laugh. God made us in His image and God has given us the gift of laughter. And the Bible says, He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh. Of course, that speaks of the laughter of irony, but it is God that has that wonderful sense of humor. Let your kids see you laugh. Let them see you laugh at yourself, at your mistakes.

Here's the principle that I'm talking about right now. When I'm saying laugh, serious situations call for a lot of laughter. Back in 1953, Eddie Fisher was singing a song. It was called, Oh, My Papa. Here's what Eddie Fisher was singing.

It was the most popular song. Oh, my papa, to me, he was so wonderful. Oh, my papa, to me, he was so good. No one could be so gentle and so lovable. Oh, my papa, he always understood.

Gone are the days when he would take me on his knee and with a smile, he changed my tears to laughter. Oh, my papa, so funny and adorable, always the clown, so funny in his way. Oh, my papa, to me, he was so wonderful.

In my heart, I miss him so today. Oh, my papa, oh, my papa. And everybody was singing that song and loving it, whether or not their dad was laughable and the funny clown or not.

That's the dad they wanted. Let your home be filled with fun. Let your children bring their friends to your house. Let them raid the refrigerator. Let them mash down the couch.

Let them put fingerprints on the wall and thank God for it. Let your home be the happiest place. Let your house ring with laughter. Let your children see you laugh at yourself.

Let them see you laugh in time of trouble because it means that God is over it all. There is a God in the glory. In 1993, the workers in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown were doing some remodeling and as they were moving a cabinet, they found down in a crevice, somebody had slipped a note. It wasn't a part of the display. Now, this is the Baseball Hall of Fame. They found a hidden photograph and it was beneath a display case and that photograph was a picture of a man with a bat on his shoulder in a uniform said Sinclair Oil and stapled to the picture was a note.

It was scribbled and pinned by his adoring fan and this is what it said. You were never too tired to play ball. On your days off, you helped build the Little League field. You always came to watch me play. You were a Hall of Fame dad. I wish I could share this moment with you and somebody had slipped a picture of his dad down in the crevice, said, there are all these other guys who are making millions playing baseball, but you, dad, are in the Hall of Fame.

You know, I'd like to be in that Hall of Fame, wouldn't you? I'd like to be the kind of a dad and I know you'd like to be the kind of a mom. But when the Bible says, children, obey your parents, honor your parents.

I'd like to make it a lot easier for them to do just that. Now, you know how you begin to honor your earthly parents and do you know how you begin to be honorable to your children? By first of all, honoring the Heavenly Father by being saved. If you'd like to be saved, you can be saved right now and I want to lead you in a prayer where you can invite Jesus Christ into your heart as your Lord and Savior. If you want to be saved, I want you to pray right now this prayer, dear God.

I know that you love me and that you want to save me. Jesus, I believe you're the Son of God. I believe that you paid my sin debt with your blood on that cross.

I believe that God raised you from the dead. That's how I receive you as my Lord and Savior. Come into my life, forgive my sin. I turn from my sin, forgive me, cleanse me, and save me. And Lord Jesus, begin now to make me the person you want me to be. I've got a lot of growing to do.

I'm weak, but you're strong. So now, Lord, I yield my life to you. Begin to make me what you want me to be. Lord Jesus, give me the courage now to make this public. Help me never to be ashamed of you.

Help me to make it public. In your name I pray, amen. If you prayed to receive Jesus Christ, we want to celebrate with you and invite you to our Discover Jesus page on the website. You'll find answers there that you may need about your newfound faith.

There's a response section as well. Let us know what God has done in your heart and life. If you'd like to learn more about your testimony and how this message has affected you, go to lwf.org slash radio and click the tab that says Discover Jesus. Again, lwf.org slash radio and click Discover Jesus. Welcome to God's forever family. We can't wait to hear from you. Now, if you'd like to order a copy of today's message, call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD to order Has the Nuclear Family Bombed?

A powerful series, a perfect 10 for homes that win. If you'd like the complete collection, all 10 insightful messages, call that number 1-877-LOVEGOD, or you can go online to lwf.org slash radio, or write us at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. Well, thanks for taking time to study God's word with us today. If you are finding that godly parenting is growing more difficult every day, take heart. As Christians, we need to let our children see that God is over every circumstance, every trouble.

We can be free to laugh at ourselves, laugh at our foibles, and love them well. Be sure to tune in next time for more real truth that never changes right here on Love Worth Finding. We love hearing from listeners about this program. I wanna read this testimony to you. I was saved as a child, raised in a home where the Bible was read every morning, and we sang hymns and had prayer every evening. When I joined the Navy, I drifted away from the faith, but God in his grace called this prodigal back to himself.

I was the one he left the 99 to pursue. I am proof that God can use anyone. Thank you for these resources, and I continue to stand up and preach the gospel. Praise God for his goodness. Praise God for this life, this one he rescued. And for a gift of any amount this month, we'd love to send you our 2020 Christmas cards, featuring an original painting by a local artist, Lacey Hancock. Request the 2020 Christmas cards when you call with a gift right now, 1-877-LOVEGOD, or give online at lwf.org slash radio.