Q&A With Koloff- #124

This is Andy Thomas from the Masculine Journey Podcast where we discover what it means to be a wholehearted man. Your chosen Truth Network Podcast is starting in just seconds.

Enjoy it, share it, but most of all thank you for listening and for choosing the Truth Podcast Network. Why should you attend the Man Up Conference? There's never been a more critical time than now for men to stand up, step up, rise up, and man up. This is a rally call for men of all ages, teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, who desire to grow in their manhood and masculinity, enhance their marriage and fathering skills, be better equipped as a godly man, godly husband, godly father, and a man of all ages. Be there.

Go to coloff.net to get registered today. Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one flaw. Introducing first, from Lithuania, he weighs 123 kilos, the Russian nightmare, Nikita Kolov.

Welcome to another episode of Q&A with Kolov, the Devil's Nightmare. Well, in the studio with me today, what a joy, what a privilege, what a pleasure to have Wade Jensen, Master of Divinity, in the studio with me today. Is that a fair title, Wade?

Welcome. Well, that is the degree, but not exactly a title, but thank you, appreciate it. Well, hey, I had considered, Wade, you may not know this, but I graduated from college, I got my four-year degree, my Bachelor's of Science, and considered getting a Master's degree, and then the school, literally, my senior year, dropped the program that I wanted to take. I was so discouraged, you know, because I thought I could just stay right there, but anyway, long story short, ended up not pursuing any further education beyond my Bachelor's degree, but have educated myself ever since that time, you know, become an avid book reader, and we're going to talk about this by holding my hand, two of the books that you've written, we're going to talk about that, but before we get to the books you've written, tell our audience just a little bit about Wade Jensen. Like, just a quick backdrop on, you know, where'd you grow up, where'd you go to school, where are you living now, tell us a little bit about your family. Sure, so, Wade Jensen, born in Wyoming, raised in the Dakotas, graduated from high school in Balfour, South Dakota, joined the Army at 18, served four years, and was in 87 and 91, served in the first Gulf War, Desert Shield, Desert Storm, got out thinking I'd never be back in the military, went on to college at University of Wyoming, and ended up having a dramatic encounter with the Lord, November 20, 1993, which changed everything, went from a mechanical engineering major to a French major, and the day I graduated from college was told I'd be a chaplain in the Air Force, and that had me on in pursuit of what that means.

What that looks like, or you didn't see that one coming, right? Which, not at all, and of course, looking into it, that required a Master of Divinity degree, which is where that came in the picture. Ended up paying off all my stupor debt, ended up going to seminary in 2002 after I had married my wife, Heather, who I met in Canada in 1999, and we were married in 2000, and ended up being commissioned as a chaplain in 2005 in the Air Force Reserves, and I was also a civilian chaplain with what we called clinical pastoral education. I did a residency at a Level 1 trauma center, and then served as a chaplain with the Neurological Institute, working with brain tumor patients, stroke survivors, movement disorders, and my wife and I ended up having three kids in three and a half years, but they didn't show up for nearly six years into our marriage, and so now we have an almost 17-year-old, 16-year-old, and 13-year-old. Wow, three teens.

Three teens at the same time. Bless your heart as we say here in the South, my brother, but bless your little heart. And yes, and we now reside in Fort Mill, South Carolina. Which is where I think we met, right? That is correct.

I think the Morningstar Ministries there in Fort Mill, and yeah, absolutely. Wow, that's quite a backdrop, quite a background. So I didn't realize, I guess, so I knew that born in Wyoming part, but then raised in the Dakotas, so we were neighbors. That's right.

You and I, so to speak. Or as they'd say in like Minnesota and North Dakota, ya, ya bet ya. Wow, yeah. You got it down. That's good.

We were, so we're Midwesterners, Midwesterners, right? Yes. So, wow, okay. And so, how many years as a chaplain then in the military? 19. 19 years as a chaplain. And out of that education, that background, I mentioned I hold two books in my hand. Excuse me, correction.

Chaplain 17 years, but 19 years total in the Air Force, starting as a chaplain candidate. Gotcha. Okay, alright. And that led, what prompted you, I hold these books in my hand, but what inspired you or prompted you to write these books? I think this is the first one you wrote, The Pathological Grieving of America, Overcoming Grief on a Personal, Corporate, and National Scale.

What prompted you to write these? Actually, because of my work as a chaplain, I just had a download one day where I felt I needed to write this book as a call from God. And part of it was looking for resources to help people and not finding exactly what would really fit for anyone. And it really came down to, it just was like Jeremiah in the book, it talks about him having a fire in his bones that was burning and he just had to get it out. And that's basically what that book was, which it took me a while to, from start to finish, it was about a six year process.

Oh wow, okay. Took me a while because some people have it really easy to just go in a quiet place and write, that is a discipline for me because frankly, it is hard for me to sit down at a desk and just do that. Yeah, but you finished it, you produced it, and because there are, especially in today's climate, in today's world, right, there's no shortage of grief and certainly no shortage of loss, right? I mean, people lose loved ones every day and or loss of a job or there's a lot of different, what are some of the more common things you've had to deal with when it comes to grief and loss and helping others?

With both contexts, so because of the neurological institute I was with, dealing with grade four brain tumors, so these were people that prime of life, many of them, 32 years old, two kids, 40 years old, whatever the age, they're not picturing themselves dying at this age. So along with the family, you could imagine the wife or even the kids or the husband in some cases because it was both men and women, they're not picturing their loved one passing away at this time. We're supposed to have our sweet by and by, 50 year anniversary, walk the kids down the aisle for their marriages, and all of this comes up as a grief and loss. Whatever loss you perceive, you will grieve. Now here's a kicker in how our brain's wired, we will even grieve a loss that has not happened to us if we perceive it, that it might happen to us.

So if somebody even gets the diagnosis, cancer, that causes a whole level of grief and loss just for the person. And of course, I've been there when a gentleman, his nine year old kid, drowned in his hot tub 10 feet from him, and he didn't realize it. All I could do is sit there with him for a half hour and just cry. I said no words. The man came back to me and said, you were really the face of God to me that day.

I did not say a single word. But his grief and loss was very acute and very real. And so somebody getting this book, and to bring up a valid point, because some people say, I don't know what's the right thing to say when they know someone's had a loss or grieving.

Sometimes you just illustrated, sometimes the best thing is to say nothing. Just your presence there, right? Yes.

Just your presence there can be comforting enough without saying any words, right? Right. So if someone picks up a copy of this book, it sounds like they're going to glean some real insight, whether it's for themself or to maybe help nurture somebody else through that process. Would that be accurate? That is very accurate.

Okay. So let me ask you about this other one, The Restoration, The Heartbeat of God. What inspired this book? Once again, it was burning in me where I felt literally a call from God to write it. And what really inspired that book, two things, which I go in my acknowledgments. I happen to see the video where Rick Joyner was on with Jim Baker after they had purchased the property that they now have in Fort Mill.

That was the original PTL property. And he spoke of restoration and how, but God was more interested in restoring people than we are even buildings. The other spark that really hit it honestly was I was at my, I'm ordained through the Foursquare Church, which is hitting its 100-year anniversary this year. But at one of our conventions, they talked about, unfortunately, a minister who was caught in pornography, lost his church, lost everything. And they talked about him coming back and working as a janitor in a church.

And frankly, it was something that frankly just upset me. But in a God way, I'm like, is this our picture of restoration? And it just made me realize we do not have the structure or things in place to make a restoration on the level God does. And that's where I go into the biblical precedent of restoration in the Bible.

And I'm going to give away one of the chapters where I speak on the life of David, where would this man get restored in a church today? Even as a leader. I mean- An adulterer, a murderer, right? King David, yeah.

And when you look at Uriah the Hittite, who was Bathsheba's husband, he was also listed in David's Men of the Thirty, the Mighty Thirty, which means this was one of David's best friends. He was a special ops guy, right? Right. So that means he also committed a betrayal. He betrayed a friendship and betrayed trust. And yet, God's heart for restoration was, you'd restore this one, Lord?

The answer is yes, he would. So, Galatians 6 does say, if anyone is caught in any trespass, we who are spiritual should restore such a one. So, Wade, no one is beyond restoration. That is correct.

Yeah. According to the Bible. According to the Bible, which is a pretty good resource to live by, by the way.

So, no one. And I like what you said, I'm reading the back cover here. God is a master builder and re-builder. No matter how broken the pieces are, God can heal wounds and restore you so you are better than before. That's a great statement just in and of itself. Amen. And so, and I know people can get these on Amazon, right?

They're available on Amazon. The pathological grieving of America and restoration, the heartbeat of God, Wade Jensen. J-E-N-S-E-N. Wade Jensen. And did this one take six years too? No.

That one actually took about five years. Okay. Because of, I really get into the Greek and because of the languages from seminary, the master divinity, you take the Greek and the Hebrew. All your education's coming out. Exactly. And because of the other piece, I am going on and working on a doctorate. So, I like to show the credit where the credit's due so I make sure my end notes are correct. That takes some time to just put the pieces together and putting the different stories together and where some stories that are in the book, like I am frank about my own dad. And I had to even sign a release legally for my own dad to be able to say what I did in the book.

Yeah. He was a JCPenney manager and God bless JCPenney company. He was a full-blown alcoholic and JCPenney as a company paid for him to go through rehab, get completely free. So, he was in rehab for six weeks but they not only paid for the rehab, they paid his salary because they knew he was a dad with three young kids because there was three of us at the time. He was now six and God renewed my parents' marriage. So, after he went through treatment, there came three more. So, restoration.

It was a restoration in my dad's life. And that's where I'm like, if a corporation can do this, why can't we do this in the church? Yeah, in the body of God. Yeah. Yes. Instead of throwing salt in a wound or stabbing our own in the back, why can't we put our arm around him and embrace him, right? Right.

Instead of gossiping about them and criticizing and critiquing their flaws. Take the two by four out of your own eye, right? Exactly. You recognize that. So, okay, so you're working on a PhD and are there some other books in the works as well then? And correction, it's actually, it's not a PhD, it's called a doctorate of strategic leadership.

Okay. So, you can get a doctorate of education or a doctorate of strategic leadership but mine's not a formal PhD. Gotcha. But it's still a doctorate.

It's still impressive in my world. So, I just want you to know, I'm just saying. So, could there be some other books that come down the road, perhaps?

Yes, I'm working on a third right now. Okay. All right. Well, we'll have to bring you back in order to, once it's completed and then we'll let others know what that is. So, all right. Well, man, great, great info.

Thank you for sharing that part of your story. And so, it is Q&A with Koloff and so let's flip it around here for the last few minutes and just give you the opportunity. I've been asking really all the questions. Let's let you fire away a question at me.

You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com. Nikita Koloff here and I am excited. Did you hear the huge announcement? The big announcement?

Well, maybe it's a minor announcement. Anyway, Facebook, go look up my new fan page, Nikita Koloff Fans, and like it and follow today. And for a gift of $100 or more, Nikita will include a signed copy of his newly updated life story, A Tale of the Ring and Redemption.

Go to www.koloff.net and donate today. You're listening to the Truth Network and truthnetwork.com. Nikita, since you were bringing up my books, just knowing a little bit about your own story because I almost wanted to start out with, are you ready to rumble? Oh, you're a wrestling fan. I knew that. Anyway, all right.

Go ahead. But knowing some of your own history where, how did it affect you in your life dealing with a wife with cancer? Yeah. And then because I know your dateline that that was before Christ, what was it like handling grief? So this is the part two question.

First, how did you deal with your wife's cancer? Yeah. Then second is, how did you notice a difference after coming to Christ? Okay. Yeah. Two part question.

It's a great question. And so, yeah, grief, because we've been talking about grief and loss, right? And so grief and loss, the loss of Mandy, I guess it was challenging to see her at the age of 24, not being a Christ follower. I would say I was a believer in God, but I just wasn't a Christ follower, right?

I believed, but I had not yet received, therefore I had not yet become a child of God and a follower of Christ. And so it was a struggle watching her struggle for real, because she was 24 when she was diagnosed and she battled it for two years. We got it into remission for a short period of time, and then it came back with full vengeance. And then we did everything within my power that I could do to try to help, but at the end of the day, realizing I'm pretty much helpless, but let me do whatever I can to comfort her through this whole process. And I can remember, though, on the last six weeks of her life being, she was in an ICU in Huntsville, Alabama, I can remember going to the chapel and praying to God, like, God, heal her, you know, and not seeing the results that I desired with my prayers. And fortunately for me, I had some good friends around me, some good friends around me that helped me when she did pass, that helped me through that grieving process, but it was about a two-year window, because the wrestling world, because I walked away from wrestling, you know, as a main event wrestler, you know, with a contract. I just walked away and informed them I'd come back, but it was about a two-year process there for me to truly grieve it. In fact, it was in probably a week or two, maybe at the most, that they were, my phone was ringing, and Ric Flair was, you know, inviting me down to his house in Charlotte and offering me a World Heavyweight Championship belt if I'd come back.

But it was just too fresh, too new, right? There wasn't even the process, even an opportunity at that point really to grieve the loss. And so, you know, I just, with friends around me, it was about a two-year process to really get to a place of where I felt I was ready to go back to work, ready to go back into the ring, right? So I would say friends helped me through that process early on. The difference between then, BC, before Christ, and now is, now I recognize and realize if I had no friends around me, I have a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And so no matter what I might go through in life, the loss of a family member, loss of a friend, or the, you know, loss of a job or anything else, now I have my friend Jesus to rely on regardless of whether any others are there for me or not. And the comfort and peace and joy I have in that relationship with Him is what carries me day by day. And that's not to say that there hasn't been some losses in my life over the last 29 plus years since making that decision, because there have been, there have been losses, but Jesus has been there every step of the way. And I just can't imagine at this point to navigate this life without Jesus. No matter, understanding at any given day, another tragedy could happen and or something that I might have to grieve. You know, my parents, you know, grieving the loss of both of my parents, my mom at 93, my dad at 92. But I had a comfort and a reassurance that I was going to see them again another day, right?

As they went home to be with Jesus themselves. And so just that assurance, again, through the relationship with Jesus and that assurance that even though I had a loss of a mom and a dad, I'm going to see them again. And that helped me through that grieving process. So, yeah. So another question, being a dad with four girls, which means, I think that means you're not just a man of prayer, but a gun owner in this country.

Recently knew, but yeah, yeah, no, go ahead. How have you dealt with fluctuations as a parent with your kids in the grief and loss process? Okay, good question. And so, by the way, I had back in the day, I had bigger guns back in the day than I do now. I've trimmed down some. So, but yeah, it's been, it's a challenge raising children in today's world and today's climate and culture, right? And so it has been, for me, it has been a real, what's really helped, again, do that. I'm just going to just harp on this again, is my relationship with Christ and becoming a Christ follower and then try to model for my children what that looks like to be a Christ follower.

So that hopefully, you know, each of them, upon making their own decision to follow Christ, not through any pressure from me, but just what I modeled would then help them now. And I've seen them, of course, over their own lifetime in their own struggles, you know, whether, you know, trying out for cheerleading and not making it and grieving that process, you know, helping nurture them through that grieving process. Or I remember one time one of my daughters came to me and she found her boyfriend, she found some things online that really upset her and it wasn't, and she knew she's going to have to break off that relationship and there was going to be that loss of relationship. And what she didn't need was for me as a dad to, you know, fix it, right? Guys are good about fixing things, right? And she didn't need me to fix it in that moment. What she needed in that moment was comfort.

And so I've learned over the years that through grieving and loss, the best thing I can do, whether it's my daughters, grandchildren, friends, or others, is to come alongside and just bring comfort, whether it's speaking comfort to them or just being there for them to bring them comfort. And so that's probably the best answer I can come up with for the moment. So I hope that answers your question. Yes. And another one, because I know what you do with your man camps. Could you tell me what it's like to see these men show up and have a restoration process on the other side?

Yeah. So that's pretty, in fact, sitting in the studio today with me, Robbie Dilmore. He is a product of man camp, and by that meaning, he has shared with me, as a godly man walking with Christ for many, many, many, he's a great testimony, walking many, many, many years that he has, and coming and experiencing some of the things at camp that he experienced that enlightened him or opened his eyes to how he can become even more empowered and equipped to be a godly man, a godly husband, and a godly father.

And what's amazing, Lex and I, Lex Luger, who partners with me in that, talk about it all the time. It's just, it's mind blowing in a sense, right, to know that somebody's going to come to man camp and in only just a handful of days can have a major transformation or restoration in just a handful of days. And I would say this, for the psychologists out there, if they looked at what we did, they'd go, man, in fact, we've had a psychologist say this, it would take me six months to walk a man through the process of where you start on day one and get them to where you take them on day five.

They say it would take me six months. Here's how I know that God's in this, because only God could do that. And so it blows our mind just to even see the countenance. I mean, wait, most of these guys came to look at the other guys in the eyes. Their eyes are looking down, you know, or like, hey, you got a set of eyes, right? But man, by day five, man, they're hugging on each other, loving on each other.

I mean, looking into the eyes of each other and just having conversations and laughter. And so, yeah, it's mind blowing to watch from day one to day five, the transformation and restoration of a man's heart when he comes to man camp. And so not to give anything else away, what happens there, you're a guy out there or you're a woman out there listening to this show. Hey, listen, encourage your man.

Go to Koloff.net, Koloff.net, and click on the link for Man Camp. And here's the deal, our goal, okay, is to send your man home, better equipped and empowered to be a godly man, godly husband, godly father, no matter how good he is right now, to send him home better than he already is. And so just encourage him to consider it.

Encourage him to consider it, Koloff.net. And if you're a guy out there, just go check it out as well. And we'd encourage you, we do one in the spring, one in the fall. We'd love for you to come. Well, we're out of time, but you've asked some great questions, my friend. Well, thank you, Nikita.

Appreciate the answers. So would you be willing to come back once you get that other book finished? I'd be honored.

Okay. Well, Wade Jensen, listen, I want to encourage you, go to Amazon.com, pick up copies of his books, Restoration, The Heartbeat of God, The Pathological Grieving of America, Overcoming Grief on a personal, corporate, and national scale. Great to have you with us today. Thank you again, Nikita. God bless you. Thanks for tuning in to another episode of Q&A with Koloff.

Have an amazing day. If you are enjoying Q&A with Koloff, would you help us spread the word, tell your family, tell your friends, tell your neighbors to download, subscribe, and leave a comment. Are you looking for the perfect gift for your pastor?

Well, look no further. Bless him with a trip to the Holy Land with yours truly, Nikita Koloff, The Russian Nightmare. I'll be hosting this once in a lifetime trip, December 27, 2023 to January 5, 2024.

Your pastor will never be the same. Go to koloff.net to get registered today. Nikita Koloff here.

If you're needing to buy a car and have marginal credit and considering using buy here, pay here, that's worse than taking the Russian sickle. Winston-Salem Motor Cars will put you behind the wheel of a car you can rely on while helping rebuild, repair, or establish your credit score. Conveniently located on Silas Creek Parkway in Winston-Salem, be sure to check them out today at wsmcthenumberone.com because you are number one. This is the Truth Network.