The Extraordinary Good That Can Come From Private Infant Adoption

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Now with extremely limited availability, contact your local retailer for inventory information. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver.

That is my wife Gracie from her CD and I would like to tell you all that she is preparing to get into the studio and start cutting some more now that she's finished with this pretty difficult surgery she's had this year and I look forward to sharing more of her music with you as it unfolds. I want to switch gears for just a little bit here and talk to an individual that I was fascinated by the work they're doing and in light of what's going on with Roe versus Wade in light of what's going on with our country we wanted to take a moment and again talk about life. If we don't value life in the womb, outside the womb, at the end of life of special needs children, aging parents, all these kinds of things will all be on the table and we at this network and at our program everybody here is involved in promoting life and I'm pleased to introduce you all to a guest that I think you're going to love what he has to say. He's from the OPT Institute.

His name is John Knox and the OPT Institute commissioned a study that was conducted by George Barna. A lot of you have heard of him and it looked into adoption, this issue of adoption and I wanted to talk a little bit about this today. Talk about the the needs, the opportunities, the vision and what we can do as believers and how to promote more life choices in this culture that seems bent on tith. And so John I'm glad to have you here as part of the program and thank you for being here with us. Thank you Peter.

I am delighted to be here. Tell me about your background, the OPT Institute. Tell us a little bit more about that. My background, I spent 40 years in the shorty bond business. I was building and selling insurance companies and as I sold my last company I knew I was finished with that part but I also knew from various non-compete periods that I was an ultimate failure at unemployment. I needed to work, I needed to do something and a minister, my senior pastor at my church said something about you have to be empty to let God fill you up. And so I just took off for a month and thinking about and looking about what I wanted to do from that point in my life going forward and I was adopted. And so as I was on that journey of letting him fill me up it just came to me that adoption is an option and I knew that I had to do something in the world of adoption.

I wanted to go back and take my business skills and put it to work in the adoption world and see what I could do. And I was amazed when I got back in and found out on private infant adoption that it almost felt like it had died. I mean back when I was adopted there were hundreds of thousands of kids that were adopted and when I got back into this and found out that there were less than 20,000 kids a year that were adopted I was just amazed by it. The perceptions of adoption were just amazing to me. What's happened is there's a lot of kids that get into the foster care system because the state has taken them away from their parents and put them into that system and that gets confused with that just being adoption. I think of adoption as private infant adoption like I was adopted.

And so what we did is we hired George Barna and some other people to do some research but Barna's is some of the key research to try and find out what's going on with adoption. What are the perceptions in America about adoption and why isn't it a choice? And I think that he showed that people today don't know much about adoption and there's 30 million women out there today who don't know that if they're going to place a child for adoption that they get to pick the family.

Open adoption today is where the birth parents have the choice and they get to pick where that child goes and what family it's going to go with and that message is really missing in our society because too many people think of adoption as being like foster care. Do you feel like it's not promoted as much? What did your research show? What surprised you about this study that you guys commissioned when you got the results back and you started looking down at what surprised you the most? I guess what surprises the most are the influencers of women. I would have thought that friends and the internet and a lot of those would be the biggest influencers and one of the big surprises to me was the influencers are doctors, the medical profession, counselors, therapists, those types of people.

We've raised a whole generation that in crisis they look to the experts. They're looking at who they go to and that was one of the biggest surprises for me is looking at. The other is the difficulty that women think that they would face, that they didn't have a problem with having an abortion but all of a sudden they had a problem with how could I possibly carry this child for nine months and then face it for adoption? That was a pain that they felt that they would be so bonded with that child and that would be so terrible and there's guilt and shame around that and it is a difficult, it is a hard thing it is a hard thing for a woman to do but I think there's a wrong perception and that's where we've started a campaign that's called I am that kid and I am that kid or for people like me it's a place for people to give their voices and we've got Olympic athletes and pro athletes and entertainers and different people that are all turning into that to lend their voices to how wonderful it is, how to be placed into a loving family is what is really needed for these kids and those kids aren't going to come back and shake their birth mothers later, they're going to come back with like most of us have, they're going to come back with wonderful joy and excitement about having been adopted and what a wonderful life they've been given and knowing this is what God intended for their lives and an awful lot of kids that have been adopted have been just tremendous successes from presidents of the United States to all sorts of things that they've done with their lives that has just been a real joy in that regard. Well as we were talking before the program you know as believers that is the identifier for us is that we have been all adopted into God's family through the redemptive work of Christ and I'm just grateful to be able to have an opportunity to amplify your voice a little bit more on this because this is so important in a culture that is it seems hell-bent on getting rid of anything that is uncomfortable to us or any kind of discomfort. Can you switch gears with me a little bit and talk a little bit of what's going on with particularly down syndrome and special needs children and families that would rather you know a friend of mine has a son who's 40 something years old with down syndrome he comes on the program quite often and one of the things he says is the most dangerous place in the womb for a I mean the most dangerous place for a child with down syndrome is in the womb because when you find out that the child's going to have down syndrome the thought of bringing this child to full term and then raising this child is over the top. What are some things that you have seen in your journey with this?

What are some thoughts that you have on this? I think about that because the down syndrome kids are aborted so often that it and I've had friends that have down syndrome kids and I keep seeing some of these stories to different places where they talk about the gift that that down syndrome kid has been to their family. You know that one that comes to mind is one that had four kids and the fifth one's going to be a down syndrome and they wonder how are they going to be able to handle this kid and this kid comes into their lives and was the most loving of all of them of the whole family and the whole family's lives got so much richer because of this loving kid and his brothers and sisters as he grew up couldn't imagine what their life would be like without that kid and it just has enriched them and he has been so happy and that whole family has just been so happy that I think that's the story of adoption. You mentioned how we were adopted into God's family and I see that down syndrome kid adopted into that family and I think that's what I'm trying to promote with private infant adoption.

It's the same thing. I mean I feel like I got adopted twice. I got adopted by John and Nancy Knox who raised me and I got adopted by God and I think of these down syndrome kids as coming into these families the same way and very enriching and talking with some of the adoption agencies. There are homes for those kids if the birth mother wants to place them. It's harder to place a down syndrome kid for an adoption agency but right now there are 700,000 families that want to adopt an infant and 20,000 a year available. It's such a difference of supply and demand. When you talk to the major adoption agencies they have at least 40 to one on the waiting list and so with that kind of availability there are homes for kids and homes for special needs.

We're talking with John Knox. He is at the Opt Institute and their organization is focused and dedicated to leading folks to understand the options available with adoption. I am that kid. It's a great initiative you guys have taken. Can you hang around for another segment? I'd like to talk with you a couple more things, John, while I got you. Is that okay? I'd love to. Thanks.

All righty. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is Hope for the Caregiver. Hopeforthecaregiver.com. I'm Peter Rosenberger and many years ago when my wife Gracie became a double amputee she saw the importance of quality prosthetics.

She saw the importance of a support team and people that could help her regain her life after losing both legs and she had this vision of creating an organization that would help others do the very same thing while pointing them to Christ. And for more than 17 years we've been doing just that. We purchase supplies. We send equipment and we train and we send teams over to West Africa.

We've been working with the country of Ghana. Several clinics over there now and each week more people walk because of Gracie's vision. In 2011 we launched a new program outreach to family caregivers. Drawing on my now 36 plus years as Gracie's caregiver through a medical nightmare I offer insights I've learned all of it the hard way to fellow caregivers to help them stay strong and healthy while taking care of someone who is not. If you want to be a part of this go out to standingwithhope.com giving standingwithhope.com giving to help us do more. At Standing with Hope we're reaching the wounded and those who care for them. Standingwithhope.com giving. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.

This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers. How are you feeling today? How are you hanging in there as you're taking care of an aging loved one, special needs family member, somebody with trauma, traumatic brain injury, maybe an alcoholic, maybe an addict.

How are you dealing with this? And this program is designed to encourage you, strengthen you, give you a path to point you towards safety where you can catch your breath and take a knee if you have to. We also like to educate and illuminate on some things and I like to bring in subjects that just pull at my ear of thinking this is something we need to talk about and that's why I invited John Knox onto the program today. He's with the Opt Institute and they're a non-profit research foundation and a think tank and they're dedicated to improving access to and support for private infant adoption. Now adoption is back into the public discourse now even greater than it has been because of what's happened with Roe vs. Wade even though a lot of states aren't going to change their abortion policies and things like in California and New York and Massachusetts and Oregon and Washington and all those kinds of places are going to continue doing the same thing they were doing. There are other states that are going to shift towards a more life focus and we're grateful for that but in order to do that we also have to help assist these parents these mothers who are bringing this child into the world they feel scared they feel terrified and to let them know that there is a path for that child even if it's a special needs child even if they know up front it's going to be down syndrome or some other issues there are people as John said in the last segment who want to take this on who are willing to do so and they got this new study that they commissioned that was conducted by George Barna and it's very illuminating on how much people actually know about adoption what do you know about this what happens who do you call what's the first step and so I thought John's going to be the right guy to bring this information to us so John thank you again for being here with us and as you dig a little deeper as you as you alluded to this in the last segment most women don't really know what their options are for adoption is that what your study revealed it absolutely revealed it it's like adoption has has kind of gotten lost it and and and with what you were talking about with Breaux versus Wade and the dialogue and all the states whether they're whether they're regardless of the direction they're going the the conversation is being elevated to where it's going to get down to neighbors versus neighbors talking to neighbors about about what it is and we so need adoption to become part of the dialogue again to not be lost in the voices that are out there and and to realize that it really is a positive option I mean I can I can empathize with these women who who are not in a scenario where where they can provide a good loving home for a newborn child and so I think that that society over the last five decades has gotten to where they they've said it's just an easy solution to go get rid of that to get rid of that problem if you will and maybe we can elevate that for them to realize that that we that that adoption and especially with the great availability of good families that want to adopt that it's a very viable option and it's very different today than it used to be with open adoption today they can play that the woman gets to be in control they get to decide what family that that child is going to be raised by they can decide whether or not they want to have an ongoing relationship with that child or not or what level of that of what they want to have and it and it's really an option that they that they need to know it's not talked about in society it's not even talked about in our churches it's not promoted in our churches it's not promoted in our society today to recognize it's a good option there's a lot of there's a lot of shame and guilt that that that are out there and and of people thinking that that that that it's not it's not right for them that they don't want to be that birth mother and then you see case after case of the of the ones that are placed into that it's a very positive positive reaction and so we need we need people to be able to see that and understand that uh that it is a positive environment how how is your message being received we're fairly new at rolling out adoption as an option and we're getting it's almost amazing that that god keeps connecting me with these different people throughout the adoption world throughout the sports world that we're able to start bringing these voices together and it's and it's and it's really excitement it's almost like like roe v wade was and and the supreme court's decision is being put right in the middle of this conversation right when we're trying to promote private input adoption uh it's almost like he's he's he's giving the platform to go do that to where uh it's a very exciting message and and and in the dialogue it's it's interesting that the that a lot of the pro-choice side of the world has been so against adoption it it has been interesting to me to see um that that there's been so many attacks on adoption and so much is being stirred up about it like it's like it's something bad or terrible which i find very ironic from from the pro-abortion group to try and attack that if they're really pro-choice you would think that adoption should be a choice not something that they would want eliminated but um uh it it it kind of tells me that maybe we're on the right path that god wants us to take in terms of continuing to promote this that uh that adoption is getting attacked in all those different areas but it's uh uh it's stirring it up on all sides and i would say overall it's been pretty fun do you feel like the uh that that you're going to be able to gain a little bit more toe hold in some churches now to help them now that you're armed with you know some more stats and some more understanding to help churches really step into leadership with this this is one of the things that's one reason i had you on here because i want to introduce you to as many pastors and and counselors and so forth because a lot of them listen to this program on how they can better help folks and and i have a two-part question i'm gonna start with that one and then i'm going to come back to the other one because this is something if if you could say anything to pastors if you were speaking to a group of pastors what would you tell them that you can talk about adoption that it doesn't have to get into the political discourse about about the different issues are people talk about open adoption like it's something new the first open adoption that i'm aware of was moses i mean here here was moses that was here here's moses that was adopted and it reacts like open adoption is new well well the pharaoh's daughter hired hired hired his mother to come and and and work for her yes that was really the first open adoption and and and it's a wonderful example and i think there's a reason it was taught to us so early so early in the bible and and and was put there and so i think that that we've got some awfully good role models and and and and people talk about as long as i'm talking about the bible people talk about guilt and shame you know around a birth mother can you imagine the guilt and shame that shane that mary had you know i mean i mean i mean jesus is another great example of adoption and and we've we've got these these terrific role models so that if you think about where we are in our society today we've got we've got ministers who don't want to talk about abortion right they don't want to be in the middle because of their of the politicalness of what's going on there and and and and god has given us this opportunity that we can talk about adoption and we can talk about how that is is is adopting these children into families and how that's the same way that god has adopted us and and being able to give these children an opportunity to get adopted twice is such a gift and i think the churches can be can be the key that bridges the two sides of this political fight and i think adoption is a wonderful way for the ministers who don't want to talk about getting in the middle of all of that can talk about the positives of that and give the light and and show the love that god really wanted us to show to one another and that's i mean i love what you just said i just love moses i never even thought of it in those terms but there you have it when you are are working with mothers who go through this and also sometimes by extension families a lot of the folks that i have on this program that are that are listeners in this audience are dealing with mental illness in their families or families with drug addiction alcoholism and a lot of times because of those circumstances a pregnancy will arise and the family is distraught they don't know what to do they've got somebody who obviously has some type of chronic impairment whether it's through abuse or alcoholism or drug abuse or mental illness and do you see a lot of that in in your organization with with the way you've talked about this around the country and so forth are you seeing a lot of this and what are your thoughts on that to helping the whole family because it's not just at that point it's not just one individual it's the whole family's dealing with somebody who's got a significant impairment i think the answer is the same i mean when we're able to surrender to a power greater than us it brings us all together right and so and so um i don't see that there's a a greater amount of dysfunction with the with the adopted children that there are with the normal society that's in there is there there's not a difference and our connection with the family is the same there's no real difference between the two of whether you're adopted or whether you're not adopted we all have struggle we all have pain and if we can turn it over to a power greater than us we all get salvaged well john you have been a real blessing to have today and i know this is going to touch a lot of folks you've brought some clarity to an issue that needs to be like you said brought back into hiring to the public discourse john knox the opt institute.org op institute.org opt john i want you to know how much i appreciate you coming on today and we'll look forward to having you the next time thank you peter quite welcome this is peter rosenberger we'll be right back so as caregivers we have so many things that hit us all the time and we can't always nail these things down by ourselves who helps you what does that look like i'm peter rosenberger and i want to tell you about a program i've been a part of now for almost 10 years and that's legal shield for less than 30 a month i have access to a full law firm that can handle all kinds of things if i get a contract put in front of me if i got a dispute with something doesn't matter i've got a full law firm that can help me navigate through all the sticky wickets that we as caregivers have to deal with power of attorney medical power of attorney i will every bit of it as a caregiver we need someone who advocates for us and that's why i use legal shield so go to caregiverlegal.com look on the left hand side where it says legal shield just select it it turns purple it says pick a plan it'll give you some options if you don't need any of those don't select them check out and be protected starting today that's caregiverlegal.com do you see do you see all the people sinking down don't you care don't you care are you gonna let them drown how can you be so numb not to care if they come you close your eyes and pretend the job's done welcome back to hope for the caregiver this is peter rosenberger so glad that you are with this hopeforthecaregiver.com i love that song by keith green that subject do you see do you see and it just it just hits me every time i hear it and i want to pivot just a little bit based on that song if you'll indulge me for just a moment as we close the show i do appreciate john knox being here with us from the opt institute to talk about adoption and i hope you found that to be a very meaningful interview i know i did but i want to address what happened in highland park in chicago and this is on the heels of uvalde this is on the heels of all the other shootings that are going on and the fragmentation of our society as we see more and more of these things i wrote an article in fox news right after uvalde and there was a line in there i just quote from that article right now another grandmother watches a child with drugs and a grandson with severe emotional issues another sister's shame prevents her from seeking help from her abusive brother and as politicians argue about guns who will intercept these vulnerable family members and help point them to safety in every case like this it seems that the drama going on within that family is known not only to friends neighbors and other family members but oftentimes and a lot of most of the times it seems like two authorities and people don't know what to do people don't know how to act with it and i get it the rush towards having the argument over the second amendment and guns and the type of guns and all that kind of stuff and i get that and that's what politicians do i don't think you can regulate people who want to hurt other people this guy that drove a suv into the parade in wisconsin you know he didn't use an assault rifle there there there are ways to inflict damage and yes i understand the concept of of bullets and bullets and high capacity magazines and all that kind of stuff as i watch this i can't help but think how important it is for us to know why these things are happening and not just stop it how they're happening and as the gun debate rages on i i desire i wish that they would put as much of that same energy into the why why is this happening what's changed what's happened there was a time in this country where kids would take guns to school leave them in their truck long rifles and so forth this was not unheard of what's happened and you look at the same demographic the 16 to 21 year old males for the most part hyper aggressive uh with these atrocious violent evil things that they're doing how did they get to this point do do video games play a part in this does the violence and the the degradation of life that is promulgated in our culture play a part of this does the the recent study by George Barnard we're going to have him on he just did the study that we talked about in the last couple of blocks for the opt institute where we're going to have him on talking about the decline in faith in this country one of the alarming statistics in his new report shows the lower number of pastors who have a biblical world view does that play a part in this well of course all these things do you isolate a bunch of young males who are having emotional troubles and poor family dynamics and with the covid and everything else locked down we're isolating these guys putting them on computers all day long to play video games and other things and then wonder why they go feral and we wring our hands and think well let's just take away the guns well if they're feral they're going to go feral with other things besides guns and have that conversation you know god bless them that's that's fine i'm not here to to go into the weeds on that issue i just know that there are so many family members out there because i've talked to them who are struggling with messed up kids and they don't know what to do they don't know how to respond they don't know how to protect themselves or the child they don't know what help looks like and i ask you do you think that we can just leave this to the world to figure this out are you comfortable with that are we gonna just say well the people in washington and our state legislatures and so forth they'll figure it out or do we have a responsibility as the church to be elbows deep into this misery not just cleaning up the aftermath of it not just ministering to the victims and their families but to step into it before this ever happens and if so what does that look like and i go back to a woman who called this program whose brother was very abusive to her and her mother with dementia and he was a drug addict and he had a criminal record he had a firearm and he wasn't supposed to have one and i asked why didn't she call the cops i said go ahead and call the cops she said well i can't that's when she broke down she wasn't crying about anything else but that's when she broke down and she said i can't i said well why not and she said because i used to be a lesbian before i became a christian and he's threatened to tell everybody shame and guilt were keeping her locked in a place of fear she was afraid to make the call because of shame and guilt the scripture speak to shame and guilt well of course it does that's why he went to the cross and she said because i used to be a lesbian and that's why he went to the cross he bore all this all this brokenness and if we can speak with clarity into people's heartaches and give them the the moment's pause so they can catch their breath and make better decisions not based on shame and guilt but make the hard decisions it's based on conviction and knowing best thing possible which is to deal with this issue before it becomes a tragic event this i believe is our opportunity as believers to step into this with great leadership great authority based on the word of god and do it neighbor to neighbor friend to friend family to family radio show to radio show and keep saying the same message so that people know that it's okay for them to be safe it's okay for them to make the call it's okay to not be beat up and abused by a family member and if you've got a kid that is really messed up and you don't know what to do it's okay to raise your hand and say i got a kid that's messed up and i don't know what to do and i'm afraid to do it and i'm afraid to do it i'm afraid there are people that can help with this start with your pastor if your pastor blows you off go to get a different pastor and then go get a different church by the way too because this is the role of pastor is to walk with families through this and to to let them borrow some of their courage to make the hard decisions there's a epidemic of mental health issues in this country it's not going to be solved with anything that congress does so the vitriol that's spewing forth from the halls of power are not going to make our neighbors safe or us safe and i go back to that wonderful song by steve green i'll go over here to the caregiver keyboard people need the lord and we know this we say this we sing this at the end of broken dreams he's the open door can we effectively communicate this not just locking in on this individual whose behavior may be aberrant of course it is but there's a family around them that are clueless that are struggling that know something is amiss we're losing kids right and left of this are we providing leadership or are we just clucking our tongues and saying well i thank the lord that i'm not like that guy everything in scripture communicates to me that we're all that guy and the ground is completely level at the foot of the cross none are righteous no not one and so can we grab a hold of that in our own life and plead with those around us to to seek help and to help to point them safely to it clearly so that they really understand what help looks like they may not take you up on it they may dismiss you or blow you off but at least you've given them a fighting chance we're not responsible for results but we are responsible to speak into other people's heartaches because that's what our savior did for us this program is designed to help people stay strong and healthy while caring for someone who is not this program is designed for the family caregiver to be able to catch their breath and take a moment's pause so that they can make healthier decisions in the midst of great unsettledness what's happening across our country with these shootings and everything else is no different we have a responsibility we have an opportunity we have the privilege of speaking that same gospel that sustains us into the lives of others who are in desperate need of hearing this same gospel thank you for your indulgence on this this is peter rosenberger this is hope for the caregiver the caregiver hopeforthecaregiver.com we'll see you next time you