If I Only Had a Spouse!

Do you want to discover the key to true joy and fulfillment? Then stay with us next, as Pastor Paul Shepherd shares today's destined for victory message, If I Only Had a Spouse.

Before we kick things off though, Pastor Paul joins me from his studio in California. Pastor, here we are in a brand new year. So much focus is on setting goals and losing weight and exercising more, coming up with just the right New Year's resolutions.

Certainly not bad things, but let's talk a bit about what you're feeling next. Let's talk about what we've seen and the perspective that we as believers in Jesus should have as we begin this new year. Yeah, I think it is great to set goals. You know, these turn of a new year, that's a great reset time.

It's kind of a built-in reset button, refocus button. It gives us the opportunity to say, okay, take a deep breath and think about where you've been. More importantly, about where you want to go from here. And let's make some practical plans to get it done. It's a good thing. I don't fight anybody who's going to get it done.

I don't fight anybody who's making great goals. And don't get bent out of shape when you set a resolution and you've already broken it by January 13th. Just don't even bother getting upset about it. When it comes to weight loss, I definitely need to do that. And man, when this pandemic hit, it so shook me that it just took me off that focus.

And I hear my friends say, oh man, I lost X number of pounds during the pandemic. I said, don't worry, I found them and picked them up. You found them.

I might've lost them, but I got them covered. So don't worry about it. But the reality is setting goals is good. But at the end of the day, I think what we've got to do is keep the main thing, the main thing. And for me at least, that means I am determined to get stronger. I am determined to get better. I am determined that I am going to have progress in my life.

Setbacks happen. I am going to move toward the things that are really important. The goals I've been given in scripture is what I'm focused on. I want to encourage our listeners as we move toward and as we move into 2022, let's keep the main thing, the main thing, and let God take us to deeper depths and higher heights in our relationship with Him.

That's all about, isn't it? Drawing closer to Jesus day by day so that we can be conformed more and more into His image. Well, a brand new year deserves a brand new resource, and we have one for you. When you send a generous gift to Destin for Victory, we'll gladly send you by request, Pastor Paul Shepherd's DVD message, Influencers for Christ. Now, did you know that less than half of all Americans identify themselves as members of a church, a synagogue, a mosque, or any other religious organization? That may sound discouraging, but Pastor Paul believes it should actually excite us.

He'll tell you why in his DVD message, Influencers for Christ. It's our gift to you for your generous donation to Destin for Victory. Call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destin for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.

Once again, our address is Destin for Victory, Box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. Here's what to do. You want to live your best life. You want to experience happiness and personal fulfillment.

Here's what you do. He says, offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship. That's Romans 12 verse 1, and this is Destin for Victory. You know, many people believe that they'll find happiness when they find a spouse. Others think they'll find happiness when they leave or replace their spouse.

On today's Destin for Victory, Pastor Paul Shepherd encourages you to not buy the lie. So let's join him now for today's message, If I Only Had a Spouse. Pitfall number two, believing that you will neither be happy nor experience personal fulfillment unless you marry. That is a big pitfall, and I need to address that in no uncertain terms because anybody who is saying my life is going to take off once I get married, oh, my brother, my sister, come close. We need to talk because marriage does not personal fulfillment make. It certainly doesn't guarantee and it probably doesn't even make for personal fulfillment.

It is something that can contribute to an already successful life, but I need you to avoid this whole notion that the only way you're going to be happy and the only way you're going to be personally fulfilled is you got to have somebody put a ring on it. So let me walk you through some things. First thing I want to do is take you to a key scripture, Romans chapter 12. If you've been in your Bible for some time, you know this passage, but go with me.

I'm going to read it from the NIV. Romans chapter 12, I want you to look at the first two verses. If you know them, listen again because it's going to speak to you in a fresh way is my prayer. I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship. Paul's right there.

As Paul was discussing with the Romans the whole idea of God having brought the Gentiles into the family and he talks in chapters 9 and 10 and 11 about different components of how the church of Jesus Christ is made up, Jews and then Gentiles. And he talks about the mercies of God being extended to us who are part of the Gentile community. He says now in light of that, which is why the word therefore is there, he said, I want to urge all of you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy in your life. Here's what to do. You want to live your best life? You want to experience happiness and personal fulfillment?

Here's what you do. He says, offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. This is your true and proper worship. What we do when we're singing and shouting, yeah, that's worship, but he says your real worship is beyond your worship through singing and through prayers and praising verbally.

Your real worship is when you say, okay, God, here I am. Bless me. Use me. Take me where you want me to go. I trust you that you're going to bless me to live my best life. In order to do that, you've got to surrender and yield yourself.

Then look at the next sentence. He says, do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. There's our key. If you are going to avoid this pitfall, you've got to let the Lord renew your mind so that you don't believe this idea that you have got to have somebody on your arm, somebody who is linked with you in marriage in order to be happy or personally fulfilled. I need you to do what Paul said, and don't conform to any ideas in the world that you need somebody.

I need you to be transformed, renew your mind, and know that in Christ you can have the happiness and the fulfillment just in him, and then whatever other relationships come into your life will just be part of what God is already doing in you. The last sentence of the text he says, you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, his good, pleasing, and perfect will. I hope that's your desire, to live in the perfect will of God that is good and that is pleasing. To live your best life, don't try to go outside of the will of God.

Your best life is always in the will of God. Now, many of us have bought into this notion, this pitfall that I need somebody in order to be happy because of a very natural tendency many people have. Many of us tend to fantasize about and glamorize whatever we don't have but desire. That's just a general tendency of human beings, and some of us are a little more prone toward the tendency than others, but I want to speak to all of us. Look at your life and make sure that you are guarding against these tendencies when they take you in the wrong direction. So, some of us tend to fantasize about and glamorize anything that we want but don't have.

And let me just broaden that concept before I put it in this idea of marriage. Some people do that with beauty. The beauty industry explodes because people want something else. They were born with what they were born with but they want something else. Often they're looking at other people, comparing themselves to other people.

Sometimes they're looking at TV, they're looking at images, they're looking at Instagram, oh my God. And in this world, people are constantly looking outward, saying I wish I looked like that. And so, beauty has exploded because people want to look like something else, and they fantasize about and glamorize what would it be to look like that person. Oh, that person is so wonderful, so beautiful. Oh, if I had looks like that. Well, first of all, my brother, my sister, let me tell you something. It's okay to say, wow, they're really beautiful.

Wow. But don't even say I wish I looked like that because you don't know what living like that looks like. You have no idea. You see them in their glamor. You see folk all glammed up. You see these TV shows and people got a glam squad following them everywhere they go. That's not life. That's TV. Life is you, wake up, bam, that's you.

And so you just need to learn how to not live your life fantasizing and glamorizing something you don't even fully understand. We'll be right back with more of today's Destined for Victory message from Pastor Paul Shepherd. Listen to the broadcasts on demand at pastorpaul.net.

That's pastorpaul.net where you'll find a host of great resources at our online store, including books and DVD messages from Pastor Paul. Well, marriage can't make you joyful. Neither can beauty, wealth, or fame. Joy is something only Jesus can give.

With the rest of today's Destined for Victory message, If I Only Had a Spouse, here's Pastor Paul. Let me talk about wealth. Some folks will say, oh, if I just had millions of dollars, my life would be. And then you go on and declare what you think your life would be like with millions of dollars. Some folk probably say that about billions. Oh, if I were one of these billionaires. Did you notice recently we've seen a billionaire couple break up their marriage, split their money, and go their separate ways?

They had so much money, they're still billionaires having divorced. Let me tell you something. There is no guarantee that if you get that, whatever that is for you, that you will be happy, that you will be satisfied, that you will be fulfilled. It's simply not a truth. It is a fantasy.

Get off of Fantasy Island. Come on, join us in the real world. And so it happens with beauty, it happens with wealth, it happens with fame. Some people say, oh, if I were known everywhere, oh, boy, wouldn't it be something to be one of these people?

You can't go anywhere without people knowing who you are. I have run into some folk who are very, very famous, and trust me, they're not necessarily happy about the fame. Sometimes the fame gets on their last nerve. Sometimes the fame causes them all kinds of problems.

Sometimes they just want to simply go somewhere and do something normal and natural, and they can't. And so be careful what you fantasize about and what you glamorize. Beauty, wealth, fame. Here's another one, physical traits. Some people, they don't necessarily want to be somebody else to look like somebody else, but they want physical traits that they don't currently have. And of course, because of today's plastic surgery world and all the advancements and stuff, you can go buy you a whole bunch of features. And people are out here shopping for different faces and what have you, going to these plastic surgeons. Have you ever seen some of these folk? You know them on TV when they first got on TV, and then a new season comes up and you say, who is that?

And that's cause they went somewhere during the off season and let somebody change their look. I can name a number of them. I won't do it. I'm not going to call names, but you know, you can probably think of some of the folk I'm thinking about. And actors, actresses, and what have you. And you say, why did you do that? And some of them is like, I hope you know you didn't improve.

I hope you now know you look strange. And some of them apparently don't know it. Some do though, cause I've seen some get it done and they say, oops, that was wrong. And you see them the next season and they come back different again.

The fact of the matter is just cause you can buy it doesn't mean you should. And then you got these, some of these sisters, God bless your hearts. I've never seen a man do so. So I'm just mentioning women cause they're the only ones I've seen doing it. They're buying behinds. They are buying behinds. You can say, wait a minute, what's all that in the back of yourself? The fact of the matter is folks, people are investing in stuff and we just need to get a clue.

Just need to get a clue. And recently I saw one who had bought this big old behind and she said it started causing her problems. She was on one of the interview shows cause of her problems.

So she went back and had them take it out. Folks, we got to realize life is not in the stuff outside of you. You want happiness, you want fulfillment. You got to stop looking outward and you got to let God renew your mind and begin to work on the stuff that's inside your head because God's going to bless you as you renew your mind. Preach pastor, I'm doing the best I can with the audience.

I'm not sure how hostile they're feeling right about now, but pray to pastor on through you who know the worth of prayer. All right, my dad, my dad was a short man and he always wished he could be a long, well for many years he wished he could be an average height or slightly above average man. And he said he did that for years, but we had a deacon in the church. He pastored in Philadelphia who was about his same height and they were talking one day and he told the deacons, oh man, I really wish.

And he told him, I think he wished he was five, 10 or six feet or whatever it was. And the deacon said, pastor, let me ask you a question. He said, are you married?

He said, sure, sure. You got kids? Yeah, I got five, five beautiful kids. You got a nice job, nice career as a pastor?

Yeah, saints treat me well, doing well. He said, you got a nice car? Yes. You got a nice house?

Yes. And he just went on asking him a series of questions like that and then he said, pastor, you got what the tall people have. So what are you tripping about was the implication. You have everything they have, they just see it from a slightly different vantage point. My brother, my sister, you got to realize that life is not outside of us. Happiness and fulfillment don't lie outside. We've got to renew our minds according to what Paul said.

And you got to understand, physical traits don't determine happiness or success. I am privileged to be part of the faculty of one of the greatest Christian conferences in America. It is called Hawaiian Island Ministries and every year they sponsor a conference in Honolulu.

Of course, this year we couldn't have the physical conference where we meet in the Hawaii Convention Center this time of year. And so this year we had a virtual conference and I taught one of the workshops as I do every year. I usually teach two or three when we're there in the physical conference, but this time I taught one.

They had many other speakers around the country who taught. One of the speakers I have come to appreciate, he comes in every now and then as a guest speaker. He's not part of the regular faculty, but he's an Australian Christian evangelist and motivational speaker. His name is Nick Vojcic and he is in his late 30s. He is a man born with a rare disorder characterized by the absence of all four limbs. Nick has no arms, no legs, was born that way.

That's his name on the screen so that you, if you want to look it up, that's his name because it's pronounced Vojcic but it's not an English name so you would need to know how to spell it. And born with no limbs whatever. As a child Nick struggled mentally and emotionally as well as physically. But eventually he came to terms with his disability and at the age of 17 he started his own nonprofit organization entitled Life Without Limbs. Nick presents motivational speeches all over the world helping people understand that life without arms and legs didn't have to sentence him to life without purpose and joy. And he's teaching people that whatever their disabilities are, having life in you through Christ can help you overcome what you see as the barriers because of your disability. And he teaches people how to outlast their troubles and even use them as a springboard into the purpose God has for their lives. Let me tell you something, you might not like some things about yourself but you've got to understand God has a plan for you and God's plan is not man I was going to do something but look at this disability or look at this problem or look at your marital status.

I can't do much with you. No, no my friend God is at work in you right now to willing to do of his good pleasure if you will renew your mind and allow him to take you into the place of purpose. So we can't be among the folks who are living constantly saying if I only had this, if I only had better looks, if I only looked like this person or that, if I only had this physical traits, if I only had, you got to stop, I only had this amount of money, if I only had this career, if I could only do this or that, stop it and renew your mind because God will bless you right where you are. Stop acting like you're in the eye, stop being like the scarecrow if I only had a brain, you do have a brain, let God help you use it, stop being like the tin man if I only had a heart, you do have a heart, let God renew it and make you the person he's called you to be.

The cowardly lion if I only had some courage, you do have courage if you get into the word and renew your mind, the word of God will teach you to be like Psalm 27, the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear, the Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid and God will teach you how to walk in courage. And so stop saying if I only had a brain, if I only had a heart, if I only had the nerve and you single, stop saying if I only had a spouse because the fact of the matter is whether or not you get married, you can and should live a life of happiness and personal fulfillment. And don't let the lack of a trip down the altar make you think you can't have that, in fact, if you talk to some married folk, they will say the biggest challenges they've ever had came because after getting married, they didn't have the personal fulfillment already intact, didn't have the sense of purpose and happiness already intact and so what some people ended up doing was simply pulled into their life a new liability. That's not true of all, that's not true of all, you will meet some happily married people and their spouse is a blessing but I guarantee you if they're happy and they're fulfilled in Christ, the spouse is not necessary to that happiness or fulfillment.

They can be a contributor but they are not the foundation because relationships and circumstances like I've just spoken about do not a life make. Jesus said a man's life does not consist in the abundance of things that he possesses and he was talking about material things but that principle goes even beyond material things. Your life can't consist in your relationships outside of Christ, your life can't consist in your circumstances, your life can't consist in what you do or don't like about how your life has panned out. You've got to take the hand you were dealt because that's the one God's going to bless you to play for his glory. If God wants to change something, he has the supernatural power to change it.

Yes, he can heal disabilities but God can also transform you from within so that although the disability remains, your life in him is what fuels you into success. Thanks for being with us for today's message, If I Only Had a Spouse. For more information about Destined for Victory or Pastor Paul Shepherd's DVD message, Influencers for Christ, stop by our website, pastorpaul.net.

Once again, that's pastorpaul.net. Invest in your own happiness and what do I mean by that? I call it becoming the CEO of your life and by CEO, I mean the Chief Enjoyment Officer of your life. You need to be your own CEO. You need to be in charge of enjoyment in your life.

You can't afford to give that job to somebody else. That's next time in Pastor Paul Shepherd's message, If I Only Had a Spouse. Until then remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory. .