Are All Marriages Really Made in Heaven?

I want to discuss some pitfalls that singles in particular, and again, many of them will apply to marriage as well, but singles in particular, I want to discuss with you in this series some pitfalls you need to intentionally avoid. Welcome to a brand new year and a new message from Pastor Paul Shepherd, Senior Pastor Destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont, California. Well, all marriage ceremonies take place on earth, but were all of them made in heaven?

Did God preordain that everyone would one day be married? Pastor Paul answers these and other questions next as he begins a series that will help us live successful Christian lives, whether we're married or single. Stay with us now or visit pastorpaul.net to hear any recent message on demand.

That's pastorpaul.net. Pastor Paul joins me from his studio in California at the end of today's teaching. But first, let's join him for today's message.

Are all marriages really made in heaven? I want to give you some cliff notes for doing the will of God in some key areas of your life. Singles, I want you to take advantage of this season that we're in right now in our world. I want you to understand that while we're in this pandemic, and let me put a timestamp on this because I realize these messages can be heard any year, any time in the future. And so I'm preaching this message in March of 2021. We are one year into the worldwide pandemic known as COVID-19. And while vaccines are coming online, and it's looking good for us to eventually get more people who choose to be to be vaccinated, some of our health officials right now are speculating that perhaps as early as this summer, July or so, and I've heard even some say earlier, they feel like we might have the vast majority of people who are willing to be vaccinated, vaccinated.

And so they said that we're not far from eventually getting to what they call herd immunity, where we can live much more effectively with the presence of this virus. Whether that's true or not, I think while we're still in the throes of it, this is an excellent time for all of us to take advantage of this opportunity to do some evaluation, look in at our lives, be introspective, look inward for a while. We're looking out, oh my God, society looking crazy, and you got to have social distance, and you can't get together in church, and you can't get together in partying, and people are looking outward.

Let me help you look inward. Take a moment now and look at yourself, and let's talk married people and single in the coming messages about some things that apply to our lives. So some of the points will be exclusively for singles. Others will be for singles and married. So married folk, don't tune me out. I need you to help pray me through, and you're going to need some of this information to help your kids and all the people in your life anyway who are single.

I looked on the internet just before I came to church. I said, by the way, how many singles are there in society right now? And based on what I saw this morning, slightly over 50% of the American adult population is single, just past 50.

It was 50 and some change percent. And so technically, the singles outnumber the married folk. So we definitely need to speak to the single folk. And so quit acting like married is the way to go, and singles are just the also-rans. No, that's not the case at all.

They are a slight majority according to the adult population right now. So I want you to be introspective, and let's evaluate our priorities, our practices, and our partnerships during this time when we're all kind of living differently than we were used to living anyhow. And so here's what I want to do. I want to discuss some pitfalls that singles in particular, and again, many of them will apply to marriage as well, but singles in particular, I want to discuss with you in this series some pitfalls you need to intentionally avoid, some pitfalls. And let me give you the first in this message. Pitfall number one is believing that God has promised a spouse to every single person who wants to get married. Now, pastor, I've heard a whole lot of folks say that if I just be faithful and I just be true, God has promised to give me a spouse. So am I understanding you to say that is not what the Bible teaches, and my answer is I love you, I wish I could tell you that God has promised you a spouse, but I have to be true to the word. I cannot be true to what people want to hear. A preacher of the gospel has to be true to the word.

I'm a mailman. I didn't write it, but I have to deliver it faithfully. And so let me tell you something. This idea that God himself has promised a spouse to every single person who wants to get married is simply not a biblical teaching. Many will get married, but I've got to preach the word. The word doesn't teach if you get saved and you're faithful, you're going to get married if you want to get married. I have pastor friends, preacher friends, teacher friends who teach that.

I've heard them. Some of them have taught it in my pulpits over the years, not here at Destiny, but in prior years I've had folk come through and teach it. And I say, wow, I wish that was true, but it's not. And so my job is to do permanent damage to people's ignorance, which means sometimes I have to say things that are not necessarily popular, but they're right. Now here's why I'm willing to be unpopular, because while no such promise exists, you may very well get married, and if you choose to get married and if somebody chooses to marry you, I want you all to know the best things you need to know about how to make that marriage work and work well.

So let's start by just building on a foundation of truth. So I want to just answer some questions as I support this idea that although it's a pitfall, this idea that God promised a spouse to every single person who wants to get married, it's simply not taught in scripture. You can't go to a single passage. I've spent my life in this book, been saved. I was saved as a young man. I have studied this book across the decades.

It is simply not there. And I know all the people who teach it, they go to stories about Boaz and Ruth and they go to all that. Yeah, Boaz and Ruth had a wonderful marriage because God ordained the two of them to meet because that was part of redemptive history. If Boaz and Ruth hadn't gotten married, you wouldn't be saved.

You say, how in the world did that work out? Well, you got to know the history of the lineage that brought us Jesus Christ. You know he came through the line of David. Well, I need you to back up a few generations before David and you will find that Boaz and Ruth got married, had a baby. That baby got married, had a baby.

That baby got married, had a baby. And one of their eight sons was David. And Boaz and Ruth are responsible for the line that brought us David, the line that brought us Jesus Christ, the line that saved your soul. So yeah, Boaz and Ruth is a wonderful story, but that's not going to apply to everybody. God absolutely has ordained certain things in redemptive history because he loved you enough.

He wanted to make sure your savior got here to get you to the place where you are, where you can know Jesus and where you can live a victorious life with him. So it's simply not a biblical teaching that every single who wants to get married will get married. However, if you are available for marriage and you choose to get married, you may very well get married.

My job is to make sure you have some sound reasoning for why you're going to hook up. I'm going to talk along the way about some things you got to avoid so that you will be successful as you move toward that goal of one day being married. And I want to give proper recognition to the many singles around the world, in the country, in our church who, they're saved, love Jesus, and they're single. They're not necessarily looking to get married. And I need y'all to know, pastor feels you, loves you, and I don't want to ignore you.

Sometimes people act like marriage is everything. And then, until you get married, you know, I mean, some love songs. I'll never forget one time, Luther Vandrossen setting up one of his songs, Long Ago and Oh So Far Away. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm going back to Superstar in my mind with Luther. But that song, he would set up, and I went to one of the concerts, and he said, and it opened up, you're nobody till somebody loves you.

I said, oh my God, that's horrible. What are you talking about? You're nobody till somebody loves you. First of all, somebody loves you.

His name is Jesus. If you get into good fellowship in a good church, other people will love you. If you build the right relationships, which we'll talk about, more people will love you. And so, you're nobody till somebody loves you, are you out of your mind? Yes, somebody loves you. First of all, but if they're talking exclusively about romantic love, that doesn't mean that your life is great, because how many of y'all have been in love once, and then suddenly the stuff didn't work out, and you realize, I would have been better off never having picked that up in the first place than to have picked it up, married it, been through hell with it, and then we had to drop one another off anyway. Oh, pastors preaching right, even if you don't like it.

But I love you enough to tell you the truth. All right, so let me give you some helpful points. Number one, is every good marriage made in heaven? And stay with us, the second half of Pastor Paul Shepherd's message is coming right up. But first, a reminder that you can always listen to the broadcast on demand at pastorpaul.net. That's pastorpaul.net, where you'll find a host of great resources at our online store.

You can also listen on your mobile device by downloading our free Destined for Victory mobile app. Search Destined for Victory in the app store, and listen to Pastor Paul's messages wherever you go. Now stay with us after today's message when Pastor joins me from his studio in California. But first, let's listen closely as he answers the question, is every good marriage made in heaven?

Once again, here's Pastor Paul Shepherd. Is every good marriage made in heaven? That's one of the common questions that we need to answer so that I can help you avoid this pitfall of assuming that there's this spouse just automatically coming because you've saved and loved Jesus and want to get married. So let me walk you through. Is every good marriage made in heaven?

Here's my answer. The uniting of one man to one woman is indeed an institution ordained by God. They're putting it on the screen for me, so if you want to write it down, you can write it down. The uniting of one man to one woman is indeed an institution ordained by God. But marriages are voluntarily entered into by those who officially and legally covenant to live together in holy matrimony. Keep that up for another 30 seconds.

Somebody might be writing that down. I need to walk you through what I mean by that. The uniting of one man to one woman is indeed an institution ordained by God. Pause. We live in a society now that has decided men can marry men, women can marry women. I remember in, what was it, 2015, the Supreme Court ruled that that is a national right. If you're an American citizen, you can marry man to man, woman to woman.

I get it. That is the right of citizens, the R-I-G-H-T. However, it is not a right, R-I-T-E, of the Christian church.

At least the segments of the Christian church that have a high view of scripture and want to do things the way God has ordained them. So we simply recognize in society there are people married outside of the biblical definition of a church. We recognize.

I get it. We live in America. And those people have the R-I-G-H-T as Americans to be married. My job is to say, but what does the scriptures teach? And the scriptures teach that marriage, by God's design, he's the one who designed it, is one man to one woman. Yes, there's polygamy in the Bible, but that was never God's expressed will, and it never will be.

And sometimes men read the Old Testament and say, oh, man, that must have been something you had two wives back then. Oh, man. Bruh, quit tripping. You got your hands full with the one. You really don't want to try to fantasize, oh, if I could just do two.

No, no, you got your hands full with the one. But anyway, let me get back to this here. So you need to know that God's design is what I'm talking about here. I fully observe the rights of people in society, but in the Church of Jesus Christ, we have to do things the way our Savior and our Heavenly Father taught. And so that's why marriage, according to the scriptures, one man to one woman. Then notice the second sentence. Good marriages are voluntarily entered into by those who officially and legally covenant together in matrimony.

Why did I write that sentence? Because I've been around a long time, and I have a whole lot of people say, well, pastor, we're not married in the sense that you talk about. But we are spiritually married. We are spiritually one. We know that. We're spiritually married, and we are in the eyes of God.

I've heard all kind of stuff. I've been around these people a long time. Bless your heart. You are single. There's no such thing as spiritual marriage that's not recognized at City Hall in the office that holds the records, public records.

That's why I put in the language I put in. It's got to be official. It's got to be a legal covenant recognized legally and not just spiritually. So is every good marriage made in heaven? Now that I've laid this foundation, marriage is ordained, but it is for those who voluntarily enter into it. God doesn't predetermine that people get married. Those two people say they love each other or for whatever reason they want to marry, and they choose to get married. Bam, and if they do it legally and they do it properly, God recognizes it.

So what happens? God blesses. God blesses and sanctions the covenant that two people, a man and a woman, voluntarily enter into.

You get it? God didn't make you all get married. God doesn't do shotgun weddings. You're going to marry?

I don't care. You're going to marry them. That's not the God we serve. You can get married if somebody wants to marry you and they're legally able to marry you and you're legally able to marry them. You all can get married. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7, marry who you will. Just make sure they're in the Lord. Make sure they're saved. Make sure they're in the Lord. He said, but you can marry them if you want to.

And you know, just talk to some of your married friends. That's what they did. They decided they wanted to get married. Some of them happy they did, and some of them, mm. But they decided they wanted to get married, and they got married. And God blessed the union because they voluntarily entered into a covenant, an institution that he had ordained. Now, I know folk who said, pastor, I know our marriage was made in heaven. I'm not busy trying to change somebody's mind who feels like I'm in a marriage that was God-ordained.

God himself wanted us married, just like he ordained Boaz and Ruth and many others. I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not saying yours wasn't made in heaven. I'm saying all of them are made in heaven.

How about we land there? So if you're sure that some do and yours was one of them, praise God. God bless y'all. But I've known a whole lot of folk who started out thinking God brought them together. By the time I caught up with them years later, they said the devil did it. Now, let me just, pastor just got to shoot straight now.

I'm sorry. I know some folk, I mean, when they got married, I mean, it was downright spooky how they got together. It just seemed so spooky, so God-ordained, wow, praise God.

Years later, sometimes I've heard people curse the day they met them. But they used to be convinced it was God. I'm simply making the point that marriage is a covenant people voluntarily enter into.

God can bless it and God can prosper it, but y'all got to do the work. See, that's what scares me about people who are always trying to make it a God thing. God is not going to make you discipline your life, love the way you're supposed to love, sacrifice the way you're supposed to sacrifice, take low when you got to take low. God's not going to make you do that. You have to choose to do that. If you choose it, you're blessed.

If you don't, some other thing's going to happen. So I'm simply trying to make the point that, yes, many people feel like, oh, God himself brought me together with my spouse. Wonderful. I'm glad for those.

I know people who have really exciting testimonies. I'm simply saying that not every marriage is made in heaven in that sense because, really, marriage is a covenant people voluntarily enter into based on the institution God created in Scripture. Even if it's made in heaven, it's got to be lived on earth. Say amen wherever you are.

Even if it was made in heaven, you who had the spookiest coming together and you knew it was God, y'all just be honest enough to tell folk, yeah, but there have been days when I wondered what exactly was going on in heaven that day when they put us together. Thanks so much for being here for today's Destined for Victory message, Are All Marriages Really Made in Heaven? Look for any of Pastor Paul's recent messages online on demand at pastorpaul.net. Again, that's pastorpaul.net.

Well, I'm pleased to have Pastor Paul here in his studio in California. Pastor, here we are in a brand new year. So much focus is on setting goals and losing weight and exercising more, coming up with just the right New Year's resolutions.

Certainly these aren't bad things, but let's talk a bit about what you're feeling and the perspective that we as believers in Jesus should have as we begin this new year. Yeah, I think it is great to set goals. You know, these turn of a new year, that's a great reset time.

It's kind of a built-in reset button, refocus button. It gives us the opportunity to say, okay, take a deep breath and think about where you've been, more importantly about where you want to go from here, and let's make some practical plans to get it done. It's a good thing.

I don't fight anybody who's making great goals. And don't get bent out of shape when you set a resolution and you've already broken it by January 13th. Get back to me at the end of January.

Yeah, really, just don't even bother getting upset about it. When it comes to weight loss, I definitely need to do that. And, man, when this pandemic hit, it so shook me that it just took me off that focus.

And I hear my friends say, oh, man, I lost X number of pounds during the pandemic. I said, don't worry, I found them and picked them up. You found them.

You might have lost them, but I got them covered, so don't worry about it. But the reality is setting goals is good, but at the end of the day, I think what we've got to do is keep the main thing the main thing. And for me at least, that means I am determined to get stronger. I am determined to get better. I am determined that I am going to have progress in my life. Setbacks happen, but progress toward the things that are really important, the goals I've been given in Scripture, is what I'm focused on. I want to encourage our listeners, as we move toward and as we move into 2022, let's keep the main thing the main thing and let God take us to deeper depths and higher heights in our relationship with Him. Well, that's what it's all about, isn't it, Pastor? Drawing closer to Jesus day by day so that we can be conformed more and more into His image. Well, a brand new year deserves a brand new resource, and we have one for you today. When you send a generous gift to Destined for Victory, we'll gladly send you, by request, Pastor Paul Shepherd's DVD message, Influencers for Christ. Did you know that less than half of all Americans identify themselves as members of a church, synagogue, mosque, or any other religious organization? That may sound discouraging, but Pastor Paul believes it certainly should excite us.

He'll tell you why in his DVD message, Influencers for Christ. It's our gift to you for your generous donation to Destined for Victory. Please call 855-339-5500 or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, post office box 1767, Fremont, California 94538.

Once again, the address is Destined for Victory, box 1767, Fremont, California 94538. And I'm going to give you three ways believers historically have found their marriage partners. Number one, seeking a spouse according to what I call the Cinderella theory.

That's the theory that there is one foot that that slipper perfectly fits. There is one person walking this earth that you're supposed to be married to. And that's tomorrow when Pastor Paul Shepherd shares his message, Are all marriages really made in heaven? Until then remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are Destined for Victory.