Share This Episode
Clearview Today Abidan Shah Logo

Friday, May 3rd | Children and Trauma (Part 5) (ft. Nicole Shah)

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah
The Truth Network Radio
May 3, 2024 6:00 am

Friday, May 3rd | Children and Trauma (Part 5) (ft. Nicole Shah)

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 412 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.


May 3, 2024 6:00 am

In this episode of Clearview Today, Dr. Shah talks with Nicole about how Trauma affects children and how we can be prepared to help the kids in our lives.

Support the Show.

If you enjoyed the show, please like and follow our Facebook and Instagram pages and also subscribe to our YouTube channel. This is an excellent way to stay connected to the Clearview team and ensure you don't miss a thing. Another great way to support the show is to use promo code TODAY when checking out at mightymuscadine.com.

To learn more about Clearview Church, visit us at clearviewbc.org. If you have any questions or want to contact us, email us at contact@clearviewtodayshow.com or text us at 252-582-5028.

Check out the links below for more content from Dr. Shah and the Clearview team!

Read - Can We Recover the Original Text of the New Testament
Watch - Dr. Shah's YouTube Channel
Listen - Sermons by Abidan Shah, Ph.D. Podcast

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
Clearview Today
Abidan Shah
Clearview Today
Abidan Shah
Clearview Today
Abidan Shah
Clearview Today
Abidan Shah

This is a Clearview Original. And that's the magic of using real natural muscadine grapes. Muscadine grapes have two extra chromosomes than regular table grapes have.

Those extra chromosomes provide a much needed genetic ability to help build your health. Unlike other fruits or berries, the muscadine grape can resist mold, bacteria, and viruses without the use of harmful chemicals. Yeah, but the problem is I'm very rarely in the mood for grape juice.

Well, good news. You can head over to MightyMuscadine.com and see that they have an entire lineup of products designed for everyday use. If you work out, they have protein powder. I know you wash your hair and brush your teeth, right?

Not very often. That's gross. But if you're a normal person who does, they have shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste. They have a one-a-day dietary supplement. They have body lotion. I'm telling you, these guys have it all. Sounds expensive. Not at all. All of their products are extremely affordable.

Even for a skin flint like me? I'll tell you what. I'm going to let you in on a little secret because I like you so much. I'm going to give you this promo code.

It's T-O-D-A-Y. Promo code today. You use that promo code at checkout and get yourself a sweet discount. And every single dollar you spend using that promo code helps us here at the Clearview Today Show. Don't miss this opportunity to supercharge your health and well-being with the incredible power of Mighty Muscadine. Visit their website now.

That's MightyMuscadine.com and use that promo code T-O-D-A-Y. You're listening to Clearview Today with Dr. Abaddon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Ryan Hill.

I'm John Galantis. You can find more information about our show by visiting ClearviewTodayShow.com. Or if you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, write in and let us know at 252-582-5028. Or you can send us an email to contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.

That's right. We want you guys to help us keep the conversation going by supporting the show. You can share it online with your friends and your family. Leave us a good five-star review on iTunes or Spotify anywhere you get your podcasting content from. Absolutely nothing less than five stars for any reason. I can't stress that enough. I can't think of a reason why you'd leave even four. Yeah, it's just hateful.

How is this not the perfect show? I feel targeted if you leave one less than four. Four is fine. Five is the best. Three is right out. Three is 100% unacceptable. But I'll tell you what we're going to do.

We're going to leave some links in the description so you can do just that. Today is Friday. It's finally Friday. Finally Friday. I'm free again. The first Friday of May.

Time got my motor running for a while weekend. It's May the 3rd, which means our date, the word, is coming to you from Psalms 5-3. It says, My voice you shall hear in the morning, O Lord.

In the morning I will direct it to you, and I will look up. Notice that it says, In the morning. You know, you can do your devotions at any time. We're not going to say that morning devotions are the only legitimate devotions. But they're clearly the most holy. You're closest to God in the AM.

No, I'm just kidding. But there is something to be said about waking up and starting your day with that intentional time with God. It really does help you focus on God throughout the rest of the day. Can you do it at any point in the day?

Yes, you can. Are there special benefits to having it in the morning? Yes, there are, as listed right here in Psalms. My voice you shall hear in the morning, O Lord, and in the morning I will direct it to you, and I will look up. Looking up sets you up for success for the rest of the day.

That's right. It's a promise you're making to God. You're dedicating yourself.

It's a part of being disciplined. I can tell you right now, I do not like getting up in the morning. I don't like going to the gym. I don't like getting up and cleaning up the house, getting the kids ready.

I don't like none of that stuff. But you still do it because you're devoting yourself to God. It's not just your devotions, too, although your devotions are incredibly, incredibly critical to your Christian life. Everything that you do, the first thing you do in the morning really does say a lot about who you are as a person.

Your character, your discipline, your habit. When I'm getting up in the morning, the first thing I do is rolling over in bed and scrolling through Facebook and looking through Instagram or whatever. Which is true for many of us.

Yeah, it's true for me, too. It makes me reexamine where my priorities are. I'll get to God's Word. I'll get to my kids. I'll get to all my responsibilities. I'll get to them first.

I've got to check this stuff out. So, verses like this really are a good wake-up call. And a great way to do that is by downloading the Date the Word app. That's where all of these verses of the day, our Date the Words, are coming from.

You can get it absolutely free for Android and iPhone. Every single day connects today's date with God's Word with the hope of making it more memorable for you. I had someone write in for this very special episode. This was a really good one. A million dollars, Ryan. This one's really going to affect me as much, but this one's going to take you for a spin.

Thank you very much. A million dollars. Yes, yes. You're going to get a million dollars.

No, no. I'll just take it without the condition. Thank you very much. R-Y-A-N-H-I-L-L. Go ahead and send a text if you need that bank routing number.

Right. I don't have the funds at the moment. I will get this money, but I'm going to have to get it from someone else.

But here's the caveat. You get a million dollars, but all your kids randomly switch ages. So, Noah is now five. How old is Asher? Five?

Five. Yeah, Noah's five now. Hartley is seven. Joanna's eleven. The twins are eleven, right? They're eleven.

Yeah, Joanna's eleven. They all just randomly switch ages. So, the twins aren't twins anymore?

They're twins, but they're... Yeah, that's a good point. Do they switch together? Do the twins switch together, or is it like one would be five, one would be nine? Well, nobody else is the same age, so they can't switch together. Like, who would they switch with? True.

Okay, all right. So, you're just saying the five, like a diagram, and everything is just moved amongst the... Yes, they are randomly reassigned an age based on one of their siblings at random.

I see what you're saying. So, Asher could be eleven. For how long do they switch? This is for life. Is it one switch? One switch. But they all switch.

It's like Freaky Friday, but with their age. Yeah, I would take that. I would take that.

Yeah, I'd take that. So, Asher, who's in what, kindergarten? He's in K4. He'll be in kindergarten next year. Okay, Asher's not even in kindergarten. Now he's in middle school.

Yeah, I would take that. Bro, he is a fourth grader. He cannot go to middle school.

I would take that. A fourth grader. I mean, he's got a four-year-old understanding of the world. He can't go to middle school.

Well, he doesn't just, like, the understanding doesn't catch up. No. No, he's still Asher. He's just eleven now. Oh, in that case, no. I thought, like, he's just an eleven-year-old with all the eleven-year-old capabilities and learning. No, but he's like a four-year-old in an eleven-year-old's body.

Yes, he's still Asher. No, I wouldn't take that. Wouldn't take it?

No, I'd take that. At that point, no. Okay, but he can still progress naturally. Like, he can still... Yeah, but that's a lot of catch-up. I mean, he's got to learn how to read, write, math, all over again.

Well, the alternative is you keep him in K4. At eleven? Yeah, he's just bigger.

He's just in a bigger pot. No, I would not do that. No. At that point, no. I don't know that I would do it either. I've got a three-year-old and a one-year-old.

I don't know how much it would really set them back, but I don't know that I would do it. I imagine this question was aimed at Dr. Shah, but all his kids are grown. Right. So, like, his youngest... How old is your brother? How old is Thomas? He's seventeen. So, yeah, seventeen.

And the oldest is, like, twenty-eight, twenty-nine. So, I mean, that's still kind of bad, but it's not crippling. No.

Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't take that. I'll ask him. I don't know that I would take it either. But a million dollars is a lot of money. That is a lot of money, but I wouldn't take it for that.

Write in and let us know if you would take that for your kids. Two-five-two-five-eight-two-five-zero-two-eight. Or you can visit us online at ClearViewTodayShow.com. We'll be back after this. What's going on, listeners? My name is Jon.

And I'm David. And we hope you are enjoying the podcast thus far. You know, we really appreciate how many of you download the podcast every day.

Right. But we also want to remind you that we are first and foremost a radio show. Clear View Today is actually syndicated through the Truth Network. And we just want to let you know right now that in addition to hosting the all-time best Christian talk show of all time... Hashtag Clear View Today.

Hashtag Clear View Today. The Truth Network also, as it turns out, has an extensive library of Christian programming. We really love everything they're doing at the Truth Network because the whole goal is to encourage, challenge, confront, and uplift listeners with the life-changing truth of Jesus Christ through Christian talk radio. And listen, we know we are not the only show wanting to expand its audience. So if you have a vision for your show or for your ministry, why don't you consider syndicating your show through the Truth Network because they rely on decades of experience of self-syndication with a full array of features for your long-form or short-form content. Make sure you visit the Truth Network online today at truthnetwork.com. Or you can give them a call at 336-759-0363.

Again, that's 336-759-0363. Well, John, are you ready? I was born ready, my friend. Let's hop right back in. All right. Welcome back to Clear View Today with Dr. Abbadon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearViewTodayShow.com.

Or if you have any questions or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-582-5028. That's right. And we are here once again in the Clear View Today studio with Dr. Abbadon Shah, alongside perma-guest Nicole Shah. Very good to see you guys. Very good to see you all. Welcome back, again, to Clear View Today.

Welcome back, again, Nicole. Just so you guys know who's talking to you, Dr. Shah is a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, professor, Carolina University author, full-time parent, and the host of today's show. You can follow— You didn't say full-time parent. You did say full-time parent. Full-time pastor. Although, full-time parent as well. That's not inaccurate. Well, so that is what we're talking about today, but you can find all his parenting tips and tricks along with textual critical works at his website.

That's AbbadonShah.com. Y'all, speaking of parenting, I'm going to give you—I'm going to say a million dollars each. Two million for the house. Okay. I'm ready.

I'm ready. And you can distribute that however you like. Okay.

I was all mine. Do you want to give that to the kids? Nicole said distribute, huh? That's fine.

Never heard of her. I'm going to give you a lump sum of two million. You can distribute it to the kids.

You can distribute it to whoever you want to. But your kids randomly switch ages. So, like, how old is Thomas? Seventeen. Rebecca is now seventeen. Nicholas is now Rebecca's age.

Thomas is now Abigail. They just randomly switch ages. So what happens, though? It's up to them. It's up to them. Rebecca can't rent a car.

No. Let's see. What happens to her marriage? Does she come back to the house? What happens to her marriage?

I mean, that's up to her. I mean, Ed's going to have some explaining to do. So Ed ends up with Nicholas? They don't switch lives. They just switch ages. Yeah, they just switch ages.

It's like Freaky Friday. You wake up, but you are a different... But she's seventeen years old.

Of course, that was someone else's body. So, I don't know. Yeah, no. They just switch ages.

They just switch ages. I mean, it doesn't affect you guys at all. I wouldn't mind it. I think it'd be great.

I think it'd be fun. I mean, hey, if I get two million dollars and they're the ones that have to switch ages, I'll take it. Nicholas is now off the insurance legally.

Okay. How old is Rebecca? Twenty-eight? Twenty-nine?

She'll be twenty-nine this year. Yeah, he's off the insurance. Oh, yeah. They're the ones that have to deal with it. Of course.

And lastly, that's what I was saying. If you want to be like, hey guys, we're sorry we did this. Here's a hundred grand.

Just be seventeen. No. No.

No. Low risk, high reward. Well, you know, as your kids grow and as they change, sometimes that's a little bit painful to get through. Sometimes that's a little bit difficult to navigate. And as we talked on yesterday's episode, navigating those growing up years can be challenging, especially when our kids face struggles, when our kids face trials. But that's what we're here to talk about today.

And Nicole is joining us again on the episode today. So Dr. Shah, what is today's daily encouragement for our listeners and for our viewers? I would say good boundaries make great neighbors. True. That's very true. Write that down.

Actually, you can credit the Yamish for that. I was going to cite Better Homes and Gardens. Little letters, Amish.

Large letters, Dr. Abidancia. Yeah, there you go. We saw that when we were in the Amish country about maybe 10, 15 years ago. And I saw that.

I was like, you know, yeah, I like that. Good boundaries make great neighbors because it has so many applications. When you have good boundaries, you know where your limits are. When you have good boundaries, the world also knows this is your limit. And these are our convictions.

These are our values. So when people try to live their lives without boundaries or they raise their children with our boundaries, it's naive, it's foolish, and it has dire consequences. So boundaries are a must. And boundaries are not erected to hurt our children.

They are to protect them. That's right. There's a big difference.

Yeah. And like you guys reminded us yesterday, these four parenting styles are not, you know, they're not determinative. You don't have to end up as one of these four. But these four are the extremes of those four boundaries that are erected. The exploration, protection, grace, and truth. If you go too far and you stay too far, you're going to be a helicopter, you're going to be a boss, you're going to be legalistic.

But the goal is always to go back to the middle. Yeah. We had at least a couple of people write a text into the show after.

So this morning, yesterday's episode aired, and we had a couple of people text in this morning as we were getting ready, like, I really wish I had this when my kids were little. Yeah. My kids are teenagers now.

Yeah. And I feel like it's too little, too late. And they didn't really ask us to cover this, but I guess the question is, is it, you know, is it too little, too late now that they've got teenagers? I don't believe so.

I don't believe so. Now, it will be hard for them as teenagers to have new rules or new parents, so to speak. But if you explain it to them, if you, you know, they're old enough to understand that there's changes that need to happen and changes in how you're going to approach different things, it might be a little hard, but I believe it will be worth it.

Right. And even if you don't have teenagers, don't have any kids, learn these lessons, and it will help you make sense of life. One of the hardest things that people struggle with, with regards to parenting, is going through life and feeling like, I did all this for them, and look how they are, look where they turned out, how they turned out, look what they're doing. Doing these things will help you flesh out those mistakes and, or the idea of parenting and understand, okay, so here's where I did not know better, and I did this, here's where I think I did it right, I just need to wait on God's timing for the seed to grow and bear fruit.

So I need to wait on that. Patience is the key. So these lessons, if your kids are grown as teenagers, we're going to have some discussion on that today, you can benefit from that, but if they're grown out of the house or they are young adults, it doesn't mean that this is a waste of time, no, this will help you make sense of the past, because that's what many people struggle with, making sense of their past life. True.

Very true. As parents. There's always a wonderful way to approach your grown kids when you learn these new principles is to take them out to eat, sit down for coffee and talk to them about what you've learned and say, listen, you know, I messed up, I didn't do it the right way, and I didn't know better, or I just didn't know these principles until now. Or even say we did it right. Sometimes you have to say, yeah, this is the right thing to do, and you may not agree with that, but until you walk in the same place in the journey, you will not appreciate it.

So just wait it out. Maybe that's one of those ironic things of life is that you don't understand until you're older. When all of that plays into, you know, we're supposed to have this break from our parents as we get older. There's supposed to be this separation that happens. So that feeling like your parents just don't understand, nobody, you guys don't understand what it's like to grow up, well, you know, there's an element of that that will help you separate from your parents and stand on your own as an adult. But just remember to look back at your parents and give them some grace and understand that, you know, number one, they knew more than you thought they did, and number two, they were doing the best they could with what they had.

That's right. Now, teenage years are a little different. You know, we're kind of focused on, we have been focusing on the young kids' age, stage, and these boundaries. But teenage years. Yes. What do you think? Teenage years are, the teenage years are usually the gauntlet for parents.

It's when like your precious sweet little angel child that like drew you pictures and made you macaroni art comes home and starts calling you bruh and like hangs out in their room and they just kind of emerge to grab food and just retreat back into the darkness of their room. Here's the thing. If you're a Christian parent, good news. You can just drop them off at the church and the youth pastor will deal with it. And not only deal with yours, he'll deal with like 50, 60 others as well, so they'll be fine, dude.

They'll be fine. You get those responses. You just play with them, right? That's all you do. Yeah. Just dodgeball and eat them.

Youth pastors don't do anything. They just play with your kids. Yeah. They hang out. They look at TV. They play guitar. That's it.

Have parents really thought about what the youth pastor or youth leader, whatever you call them, do, I mean, it's a tremendous responsibility. You have trouble with one or two. They have 12. Like here, we have 80, 90 at Clearview or maybe more now. Oh, when I, oh, 98, 98 when I came, there were, let's see, one, two, three, four, five, maybe six to seven. Wow. Yeah, maybe.

Yeah. Where did you come in? Oh, you came to America in 91.

I came to America in 91. In 98, you came as the pastor. That's right.

Yeah. I know as a youth pastor. As the youth pastor. Of this very church. Right, right, right.

Six to seven kids. I'm one of your predecessors. That's right. Honestly, when I heard that verse, I was like, oh, man, like kindred spirits, like fellow youth pastor.

Standing on the shoulders of darkness. That's right. So talking about the teenage years, you know, one of the things that I love the most about teenagers is also one of the most difficult things about teenagers, and that's the strategies and the rules and the approaches that you had as parents when they were kids most of the time don't work anymore because your teens are moving from that childlike concrete thinking to more abstract reasoning. So they're less content with because I'm your parent and I said so. There may still be a place for that at times, but you need to give them a why. You need to tell them why this is the rule. You need to tell them why these things are in place. You need to tell them why this is the expectation of them. And this is all done in the context of showing your students love, that you care about them, that you are compassionate toward them. Because one of the most common things I've heard teenagers talk about over the last almost decade that I've been here is that they are struggling with feeling overwhelmed.

Pretty much across the board, no matter if they're homeschooled, no matter if they're in public, private school, middle school, high school, boys, girls, pretty much all of them without fail say, and I just feel overwhelmed. And I feel personally, I fell into the boomer trap of being like, why are these teenagers tired all the time? Like you guys have no reason to be so exhausted.

You guys don't do anything. And then you start to look at what like teenagers in 2024 do as opposed to what I did in like 20, like 2008, 2009. And you start to see like, I don't even make those jokes anymore because you start to see like I would have had a breakdown if I was doing all the sports and all the different things that kids do. And it's not just in this church. It's just everywhere.

There's so much stuff. Even smartphones. I mean, it is very common that teenagers will have a smartphone in their hand through the teenage years.

Some earlier than that, but usually in the teenagers, they get that smartphone. Jon, when you and I were growing up, smartphones were coming on the scene, but they weren't quite as prevalent yet. One person in, when I was in senior year, it was actually a good friend of mine, had an iPhone.

That was it. Everybody had a flip phone. When did iPhone come out? It was an iPhone 3G. It was 2007, wasn't it? That iPhone really like, something like that.

You're right. Cause that was the year I graduated high school. Yeah, yeah.

So smartphones weren't real. You graduated high school in 2007? I did. Wow.

I did. When did you graduate high school? 2010. Does that make you feel old? 2007.

It's not old. I was a principal already by this time. You could have been my principal. I could have been your principal.

2010 is when I graduated. One person, one person had an iPhone. Everybody else, they had little flip phones. We had to text with T9.

We had to put our hoodies, and we had to just like feel out the numbers in our pockets so that we could text. Our millennial listeners are like, oh man, yes. T9 word.

Shout out to T9 word. But yeah, that's true. But you get all the extracurriculars that teenagers are responsible for, plus the events of the entire world dropped in the palm of their hand. And so like we were talking about with those crises and traumatic events that they're exposed to, they're being exposed on a secondary level to crises that are happening on the other side of the globe. But it's happening in real time because of smartphones and smart devices.

So they're hit with that trauma more than any of us were. I never see a teenager with downtime. I don't see it.

I just don't ever see it. When I was in school, I had band, and I had church. That was it. That was Wednesday, Sunday.

That was all there was. I think kids have had a lot of activities dumped on them for decades. So it's not just, maybe that was a little bit unique in your time. But the constant connectivity to our phones is, I would say, more detrimental than just doing things. There have been parents.

Like I used to tell sort of something similar to that because they had dance, they had sports, they had drama, they had, you name it, scouts, whatever. So those things have been going on for a long time, but the super connectivity means I'm sitting here, so I'm going to sit and now I'm just going to scroll and scroll and scroll. Like now it's been an hour.

Nope. I'm going to keep going. It's an hour and a half now.

It's been two hours now, two and a half, three. My brain is constantly working. And it's working mindlessly. It's not achieving things, but it's just going, going, going. And I don't want parents to just listen to this and just run out and take the phones away from their kids.

That's not the goal of this podcast. That would be the helicopter parent. That would be the helicopter parent, right?

How does that go? So parenting in the teenage years, sometimes the temptation is just to kind of take your hands off the reins. But teenage years are really where parents need to kind of buckle down and lead their kids through the teenage years because as, as teens are growing and as they're developing, their brain is changing at an unprecedented rate. Their ability to feel emotion grows much faster than their ability to process that emotion.

So like you, you get adult sized emotions with child sized reasoning. So we as parents have to help them navigate and parse out these difficult situations in life. For example, if you're teenagers, really when you're teenagers, make a poor choice because they're teenagers. I mean, they're, they make poor choices sometimes, a helicopter parent is going to swoop in and save them from all the consequences. And this may end up in your teens feeling entitled. The religious or legalistic parent is going to swoop in with heavy consequences and punishment. And not that there's not a place for consequences and punishment, but if you err too much on that, your teens may end up retreating or resenting you. The BFF parent, there are no consequences for your actions. Your child just does whatever they want to because you love them and then you're their friend. You should have seen me at your age.

I was 10 times worse. Your teens could end up reckless, but they could also end up feeling alone and unsupported because Nicole, as you said, they don't need a friend, they need a parent. And then the boss parents is the, you made your bed, go lie in it, deal with your own consequences. And with this, you know, teens will end up feeling resentful and they can even be less likely to share and open up in the future. So one of the things kids struggle with in teenage years is a breakup. So how do these different parents and boundaries work out then?

So with the breakup, with the dreaded breakup, helping your son or daughter navigate that romantic relationship crumbling. So what we can do as parents, we don't shield them from the emotions. Sometimes we'll just kind of protect or help them move on, get over it quickly. Don't shield them from going through those emotions. That's that protection wall.

We might need to lower that. But help them process the ending of that significant romantic relationship because for your teens, it may even be their first one. That's lifting up that exploration wall, encouraging them to feel those feelings. Don't absolve them of any poor decisions that they've made to contribute to the relationship ending. That's the grace wall.

We might need to lower that one. But show them what they could have done differently to better prepare them for future relationships. That's the truth wall. Let it be a teaching moment. Walk with them, walk alongside them because they're able in the teenage years to understand all of those abstract concepts.

And again, this is all done in the context of loving them and guiding them and directing them back to who Jesus is. Wow. Wow. Yeah.

I mean, again, the safe house parent that Nicole has been talking about for the young kids, the same principles apply to the teenagers. But in a different sort of way. Yeah. A little bit differently. I mean, parenting is still active, but it shifts more towards guiding rather than being there all the time.

You're just almost like a guidance counselor. Right. Right.

Right. I mean, the key is knowing to lower the wall of protection. I think it's one of those things where you know the situation when you see it. You know what I mean?

When the situation arises where you know I need to lean a little bit heavier to one side, but then always try to come back to the middle. Yeah, that is true. The biggest thing with the safe parent, the safe house parent is always aiming for that middle. You know, you want, you got to have a little bit of all four, I think. Yeah. Just a little bit to be able to be like in the middle. Be balanced. Be balanced.

Yeah. So we've talked about the book Safe House by Josh Straub. It's a great resource for anybody who has kids or works with kids, but he suggests three ways to enter into your teen's struggle and to help them navigate those difficult moments. The first one is when possible, take time to calm down before you respond to your child. Sometimes in the teenage years you can get real heated real fast because your teens are coming at you with a lot of emotion. When possible, take a step back, take a breath because it will help facilitate a conversation rather than just a yelling match. True.

Very true. Take a little bit of dialogue and seek to understand your teen's point of view. Talk with them, understand what they're saying and hear the heart behind their words. Because again, they're feeling adult sized emotions with child sized reasoning.

And then finally, always communicate your love for your child, even during hardship or punishment. Wow. Great point. And then as we're, as we're, you know, coming, coming to a close, landing the plane, I want to just briefly talk about the young adult years because we, they don't say little kids, they don't say teenagers, they eventually grow into adults. Yeah.

And the young adult is that phase between 19 to about 30 years of age. Yeah. Yeah.

And we can do all of this right. We can be excellent parents through the elementary kid years and the teenage years and your kids will probably still blame you when they reach young adulthood for the things that are going on in their life. I think that's something that parents kind of dread, but they mark as failure. Like you're like, even if I do everything right, this is still going to happen.

So it's almost not worth doing. But I think you've said it best, like they, they're going to come back. Yes. Yeah. That's what God's word says. Right.

They'll always return to. Right. In God's timing as a farmer, you have to sow the seed, let it be watered, have the sunlight, have the fertilizer. Fertilizer stinks.

So yeah, sometimes it'll stink. But in God's timing, it'll happen. And don't let the enemy take away hope because he will often come and tell you it's hopeless. It's not going to get better. This is as good as it gets. It's true. Reject the enemy.

Tell him, get the heck out of here. I'm not listening to you. I'm looking to Jesus Christ. Amen. Yes.

And one thing I would say is when your kid does come back as an adult to say, boy, you know, you really didn't know what you were talking about or however that conversation comes about, try to not say, I told you so. Amen. Yeah. So good.

That's true. So helpful for us. Thank you, Dr. Shaw. Thank you, Nicole, so much. Thank you, Ryan.

Thank you. He's, he's my favorite student pastor. I would have to agree. I would have to agree.

Yeah. I wish he was my student pastor. You're my, you're my favorite pastor, but you are actually a pastor. I can't say I wish you were a pastor because you are my pastor. If you, if you guys enjoyed today's episode, if it was helpful for you, and especially if you have students in your life, write in and let us know at 252-582-5028, or you can visit us online at clearviewtodayshow.com.

Don't forget, you can partner with us financially on that same website. Every gift that you give goes not only to building up this radio show, but countless other ministries for the gospel of Jesus. As always, make sure you find a church to worship in this weekend. If you are in the Henderson or in the Triangle area here in North Carolina, you can always come and join us here at Clearview Church, but if not, make sure you find somewhere that's got biblical preaching, excellent worship, and we will see you next week on Clearview Today. That's right. Make sure you guys join us on Monday. We love you guys. We'll see you next time on Clearview Today.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-05-03 08:16:12 / 2024-05-03 08:31:10 / 15

Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime